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DISCUSS TOGETHER All of the material in this guide is provided for fostering healthy discussion in your group. Read through the prompts together and discuss the bolded questions out loud.

It seems like anything people say nowadays exists forever—both the good and the bad things. How have you seen something that someone has said come back to haunt them? How have you been encouraged by something someone said a long time ago that has been preserved until today?

There has never been a time in human history when ordinary people could have such extraordinary platforms. We can interact directly with powerful people on Twitter. We can broadcast our voice across the whole world on Youtube. Some have learned this lesson the hard way, being fired or prosecuted for something they said in an ill-advised slip of the tongue. No longer are people in positions of authority the only ones having their speech checked; our voices are more potent now than ever before.

In his discourse on what true religion looks like, James took a break from talking about the things that we do to focus on the things that we say. He knew all too well how powerful the tongue is, and argued that it must be tamed at all costs. Read what he has to say about this in James 3:1-12:

Not many should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that we will receive a stricter judgment. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is mature, able also to control the whole body. 3 Now if we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we direct their whole bodies. 4 And consider ships: Though very large and driven by fierce winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how a small fire sets ablaze a large forest. 6 And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among our members. It stains the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 Every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and fish is tamed and has been tamed by humankind, 8 but no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in God’s likeness. 10 Blessing and cursing come out of the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way. 11 Does a spring pour out sweet and bitter water from the same opening? 12 Can a fig tree produce olives, my brothers and sisters, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a saltwater spring yield fresh water.

How does the content of our speech relate to what James has been saying about true faith?

Why do you think that James puts the tongue at the top of the list of things that we struggle with?

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Our speech is like a snapshot of our heart. Often times, people aren’t around you long enough to notice the pattern of your life, but hearing the kind of speech you use gives a (sometimes scary) picture of what kind of person you are. Jesus said, "The mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart” (Matt. 12:34).

Circle the metaphors James uses for the tongue. Which sticks out to you the most?

James points out that the tongue has (at least) three different powers: the power to direct, the power to destroy, and the power to delight.

The power to direct: a Bit and a Rudder (vv.3-4) Frank Outlaw, the late president of Bi-Lo stores, was quoted as saying, “Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits.”

Do you agree? Why or why not?

In your experience, do thoughts, words, actions, and habits work together? Why do you think so?

The power to destroy: Fire and Poison (vv.5-8) Read vv. 5-8. Fire and Poison have two properties in common: they can spread, and they can wreak havoc.

How have you seen words be destructive—either in your life or in someone else’s?

Why do you think it’s so difficult to put out the “fire” started by someone’s words?

The power to delight: Spring and Tree (vv.11-12) The tongue is, of course, not used only for bad things. Just as it can be a tool of destruction, it can also be a tool for good. Read verses 11 and 12.

Who is someone you know whose speech is life-giving? Tell us about them.

What are the kinds of speech and interactions with others that build you up, personally?

What is the danger in professing Christ but keeping your speech unchecked?

An untamed tongue is simply the product of our own prideful and selfish hearts—so if we want to “not stumble in what we say” and be “mature,” we must start with our hearts. This is a daily action, surrendering constantly to Jesus’ direction and putting our hearts—and our speech—in His hands. As you bring your time to a close, take some time to reflect individually on the following questions:

What does my relationship with Jesus look like? What kinds of attitudes rule my heart? What are aspects of my speech that need to be tamed?

Close your time together by praying and individually meditating on Psalm 19:14:

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.

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Extra material:

Warren Wiersbe on the tongue being a Bit and a Rudder: In selecting the bit and the rudder (“helm” in James 3:4 means “rudder”), James presented

two items that are small of themselves, yet exercise great power, just like the tongue. A small bit enables the rider to control the great horse, and a small rudder enables the pilot to steer the huge ship. The tongue is a small member in the body, and yet it has the power to accomplish great things.

Both the bit and the rudder must overcome contrary forces. The bit must overcome the wild nature of the horse, and the rudder must fight the winds and currents that would drive the ship off its course. The human tongue also must overcome contrary forces. We have an old nature that wants to control us and make us sin. There are circumstances around us that would make us say things we ought not to say. Sin on the inside and pressures on the outside are seeking to get control of the tongue.

This means that both the bit and the rudder must be under the control of a strong hand. The expert horseman keeps the mighty power of his steed under control, and the experienced pilot courageously steers the ship through the storm. When Jesus Christ controls the tongue, then we need not fear saying the wrong things—or even saying the right things in a wrong way! “Death and life are in the power of the tongue,” warned Solomon (Prov. 18:21). No wonder David prayed, “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Incline not my heart to any evil thing” (Ps. 141:3–4). David knew that the heart is the key to right speech. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matt. 12:34). When Jesus Christ is the Lord of the heart, then He is Lord of the lips too.

The bit and rudder have the power to direct, which means they affect the lives of others. A runaway horse or a shipwreck could mean injury or death to pedestrians or passengers. The words we speak affect the lives of others. A judge says “Guilty!” or “Not Guilty!” and those words affect the destiny of the prisoner, his family, and his friends. The President of the United States speaks a few words and signs some papers and the nation is at war. Even a simple yes or no from the lips of a parent can greatly affect the direction of a child’s life.

Never underestimate the guidance you give by the words you speak or do not speak. Jesus spoke to a woman at a well, and her life and the lives of her neighbors experienced a miraculous change (John 4). Peter preached at Pentecost and 3,000 souls came to salvation through faith in Christ (Acts 2).

and on “Twelve Words that can Change Your Life”: If you use these words and sincerely mean what you say from your heart, you will find that

God will use you to be a blessing and encouragement to others. There are only twelve of them, but they work.

“Please” and “Thank you.” When you use these three words, you are treating others like

people and not things. You are showing appreciation. “I’m sorry.” These two words have a way of breaking down walls and building bridges.

“I love you.” Too many people read “romance” into these words, but they go much deeper

than that. As Christians, we should love the brethren and even love our enemies. “I love you” is a statement that can carry tremendous power.

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“I’m praying for you.” And be sure that you are. When you talk to God about people, then

you can talk to people about God. Our private praying for people helps us in our public meeting with people. Of course, we never say “I’m praying for you” in a boastful way, as though we are more spiritual than others. We say it in an encouraging way, to let others know that we care enough for them to meet them at the throne of grace.

Daniel Doriani on how our speech is related to the rest of our actions: At first glance, James seems to say the person who controls the unruly tongue can surely

control the other, more easily tamed, members of the body. Jesus certainly agrees that control of the tongue is important when he says we will be acquitted or condemned by our words (Matt. 12:37).

But we must distinguish the first glance from the final analysis. Notice that James’s illustrations seem to have two parts: the bit and the horse, the rudder and the ship. Careful review reveals that the analogies assume a third part, an agent that exercises its will through bit, rudder, and tongue.

• For the horse, a rider uses the bit to direct his mount. • For the rudder, the pilot expresses his will through the rudder to guide the ship. • For the tongue, the will of a man expresses itself in speech that guides action. So James agrees with Jesus; the heart moves the tongue. Therefore, we cannot simply

decide, by a resolution of the will, to control the tongue. For the heart controls our resolutions. We will return to that thought shortly, but for now James is interested in the tongue and its reckless power. He says, to translate literally, “Behold the size of a fire that sets ablaze what size of a forest” (James 3:5). That is, a small fire can start a great fire that rages through the countryside.

David Guzik on the impossibility of living a contradictory life: If bad fruit and bitter water continue to come forth, it means that there is no contradiction.

The tree is bad and the spring is bad. Jesus taught in Matthew 12:34-37 that a man’s words are a reliable revelation of his inner character. What we say can indicate what we are. “It would be a monstrosity,” wrote Spurgeon, “a thing to be wondered at, and stared at as unnatural and absurd if a fig tree started bearing olive berries and it is just as unnatural for a Christian to live in sin. Can he so live as to bear the fruits of iniquity instead of the fruits of righteousness? God forbid that it should be so!” He also said, “Unless you are regenerated, born from above by a new and heavenly birth, you are not Christians, whatever you may be called, and you cannot, produce the fruit which is acceptable to God any more than a fig tree can produce olive berries.”

You can label a fig tree “Olive Tree” and that will not make it an olive tree. You can trim a fig tree to look like an olive tree, and that will not make it an olive tree. You can treat a fig tree like an olive tree, and that will not make it an olive tree. You can surround a fig tree with many olive trees, and that will not make it an olive tree. You can transplant that fig tree to the Mount of Olives, and that would not make it an olive tree.