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Significance of wedding ceremonies

Among

Sri Vaishnava Brahmins

In Karnataka

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// Sreerasthu// //Shubhamastu//

This compilation is made to mark the auspicious occasion of the marriage of

Chiranjeevi B.S. Kulashekharan, BE, MBA (son of Mr. B.K. Srinivasa Ragavan

and Mrs. Vijayalakshmi Raghavan) with Chiranjeevi Sowbhagyavati G.N. Pruthvi,

BE (daughter of Mr. G.V. Nagaraj and Mrs. Alaka Nagaraj).

We request your august presence and your blessings for the couple. A formal

invitation is sent separately.

The marriage programme at Mysore comprise of -

On 31st October 2012

Mappillay varaverpu at about 2:30 pm

Vara Pooje (Jaanvasam) at 3:30 pm

Milan Reception with Light music from 7:00 pm onwards followed by

dinner

On 1st November 2012

Muhurtam at 09:50 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Dhanur Lagnam

Lunch

Looking forward to your gracious presence,

Adien Dasans,

B.K.Srinivasa Ragavan G.S.V. Iyengar Vijayalakshmi Raghavan Rukmini Vimala Sampath (Sambandhi) M.T. Keshava Iyengar (Sambandhi) B.S.Madan (Son-in-law) M.K. Pankaja (Sambandhi) Dr.B.S.Kula Rashmi (Daughter) G.V. Nagaraj (Son) Abhay & Maaya (Grand children) Alaka Nagaraj (Daughter-in-Law) G.N. Aishwarya (Grand Daughter)

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// Srimate Srivann Shatagopa Naarayana Yathindra Mahaa Desikaya Namah //

PREFACE

We have witnessed many marriage ceremonies in which the priest will be busy in

ushering through various mantras, the bride and the groom carrying out mechanically

various functions as they are told and their parents busy with various other

engagements – all oblivious of the signification of the rituals. Due to paucity of time,

the priest will not be able to explain the significance of the rituals and often rushes

them through. The marriage ceremony ends, and the video taken exhibit the pomp

and splendour with which it was carried out. But the married couple will have

forgotten what vows they have taken even before that day concludes!

A Vedic Hindu marriage is viewed as sacramental, a lifelong commitment between a

man and a woman. It is the strongest bond which takes place in the presence of their

parents, relatives, and friends. There is an irrevocable commitment for lifetime by

both the Bridegroom and the Bride. For a Hindu, marriage is the only way to continue

the family, and thereby repay his debt to his ancestors (pitru-runa). Taitthareeya

Brahmana says ‘one who is not getting married becomes yagnaheena and thus

becomes condemnable’ (2.2.2.6). Samhita says a brahmin has to fulfill “Rishi runa”

through brahmacharya, “Deva runa” through yagnas and “Pitru runa” by getting

married and begetting children (6.3.10.5). A Vedic sage in “Prayoga Chandrika” has

emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity,

intimacy and love between husband and wife. Thus, marriage is not for self-

indulgence, but rather should be considered a lifelong social and spiritual

responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow from

life partners into soul mates. Marriage is for the spiritual growth and a way of learning

many things in life through experience. In other words, it is a perfect way of following

the holy law of the Creator. In order to inculcate this objective, Vedas advise the

bridegroom to proclaim during paani-grahan:

Gribhnamite suprajaa stvaya hastam mayaa patyaa jaradashtirya thasah

Bhago Aryamaa savitaapuram dhirmayam twa durgarha patyaaya devah ||

(Meaning:– “Oh dear! On this auspicious occasion of our life, I take your hand in mine

in the presence of invoked deities. Oh blessed woman! You be with me as a fortunate

partner for a very long time. I hand over control of my home in your hands, discharge

your duties joyously.”)

It is in order to keep this tradition alive that the wedding is given the shape of a

sacramental rite in Vedic tradition. Vedic rituals followed in a Hindu marriage are

prescribed in the Grihya Sutra, a branch of the Kalpa Sutra. The conduct of the

wedding, suitable seasons and timings for the ceremony, and the qualification for

compatibility of the bride and groom are followed even today, with some variations

here and there due to passage of time. The phasing of the wedding, duties and

responsibilities of the persons (vadhyar, the marriage couple, their parents and other

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close relatives) are also prescribed therein. Prescribed procedures (karanas) and their

associated mantras are also ordained. The Vadhyar (Chief Priest) is required to

supervise and direct the wedding to take place as per traditions. The mantras uttered

in a marriage explain that the marriage is the noblest path for the couple to attain

their unison for promoting prosperity, stability, peace and fine progeny. The mantras

profess the couple to be inseparable companions in the spheres of religion,

philosophy, love and wealth. Hindu marriages bring about a holy bond of divine

continuity.

Just to illustrate more, look at the seven sentences that are pronounced by both the

bride and the groom:

1. Always remember the divine.

2. Always look upon each other with sympathy, love and compassion.

3. Help each other in all good deeds.

4. Keep mind always pure and virtuous. Be strong and righteous.

5. Show goodwill and affection to parents, brothers, sisters and other family

members.

6. Bring up the children in such a manner that they are strong in mind and body.

7. Always welcome and respect guests.

The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is Agni (or the Sacred Fire), and by the

Indian law as also by tradition, no Hindu marriage is deemed complete unless in the

presence of the Sacred Fire, seven encirclements have been made around it by the

bride and the groom together(Sapta-padi).

On the day of the marriage, the division of household duties takes place. The husband

undertakes to earn the livelihood for the family and the wife takes care of the home.

The married life becomes successful only when both of them perform their duties with

wisdom and devotion. It is against the Indian tradition to casually go through the

rituals of marriage and then live a haphazard married life. The sacramental Hindu

marriage is the beginning of the acid test of life. Therefore, total commitment to the

vows and pledges taken alone can make married life meaningful.

I hope the youngsters about to be married will find this publication useful.

Santushto Bharyaya Bharta Bhartra Bharyaa Tathavaicha

Yashminneva Kule Nityam Kalyanam Tatra Vai Dhruvam

It is certain that a family will be always joyful and prosperous wherein the husband is happy due to his wife and equally the wife is happy with her husband.

Adien Dasan,

B.K.Srinivasa Ragavan 1st November 2012

Mysore.

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A Brief on the Iyengar Community

We belong to the Sri Vaishnava community of Hindu Brahmins and specifically to a

sub-sect called “Hebbar Iyengars” from Karnataka. The word “Iyengar” seem to

have been coined in the 15th Century AD denoting “iy-angam” (five samskaras)

expected to be followed by them. The five samskaras are: (1) Carrying the marks

of shankam and chakra on shoulders; (2) Applying Dwadasha Namams on the

body; (3) Having a “dasya” name; (4) Getting Upadesam from the Acharya; and

(5) Performing Thiru Aradhanam to Saaligramams (fossilized ammonite shells

formed millions of years ago!). We follow the Visishtadvaita philosophy codified by

Srimad Ramanuja Acharya and his followers Srimad Vedanta Desika (1265 AD-1369

AD) and Srimad Manavala Mamuni (1370 AD-1443 AD). Visishtadvaita philosophy

points to existence of an Ultimate Reality (Sriman Narayana). In our lives we strive

to attain communion with this omnipotent Supreme through self-surrender

(saranagati) and meditation (bhakti). The meditation within the community involves

using both the Sanskrit Vedas and Tamil Divya Prabhandams and thereby the name

“Ubhaya Vedanta”. The “namam” we wear on our fore-head and at 11 other places

of the body, states Brahmanda Purana, signifies two white lines indicating the Holy

Feet of the Lord Maha Vishnu and the yellow or red vertical line in between signifies

the presence of his consort Sri Maha Lakshmi.

Iyengars have two sub-sects “Then-kalai” (Southern culture) and “Vada-kalai”

(Northern culture). Perhaps it emanated from Srirangam (Southern Tamil Nadu)

and Kanchipuram (Northern Tamil Nadu). The two sects differ mainly on the

methodology of the surrender to the Lord. While the Then-kalai followers believe

that worship (bhakti) alone is sufficient, the Vada-kalai followers believe an

affirmative action is needed on the part of the devotee to attain salvation (Moksha).

There are other differences the narration of which becomes highly technical. The

sub-sects also converge on many points and revere each other.

Rituals followed in Tamil Iyengar marriages

The Vedas proclaim marriage as entering into “Grahasthasramam” for the Bride-

groom thus promoting himself from “Branhmacharyaa”. It is the thirteenth in the

“Shodasa Samskaaras” a Brahmin has to undergo. The sixteen samskaaras are:

(1) Garbhaadaana; (2) Pumsavana; (3) Seemanthonnayana; (4) Jaatakarma; (5)

Naamakarana; (6) Nishkramana; (7) Annapraashana; (8) Karnavedha; (9) Choula;

(10) Upanayana; (11) Vedaarambha; (12) Samaavarthana; (13) Vivaaha; (14)

Vaanaprastha; (15) Sannyasa and (16) Anthyeshti. [(1) to (3) are performed by

the parents before the baby is born; (4) to (9) are performed by the parents before

the baby is 5 years’ old.]

The wedding rituals have been formulated by the Vedic saints. The centre of the

rituals is the prayerful ritual to seek the graceful benevolence of the Lord Maha

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Vishnu. Other devatas such as Agni, Varun, Soman, etc., are invoked to be present

to witness the vows taken by the couple and to shower blessings on them. A Hindu

wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a “Vedic yajna” (involving sacrifice into

fire), in which the deities are invoked in the Indo-Aryan style. It has a deep origin

in the ancient ceremony of cementing the bonds of friendship/alliance. The primary

witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, and by law

and tradition, no Hindu marriage is deemed complete unless in the presence of the

Sacred Fire, and the (Sapta-padi) seven encirclements have been made around it

by the bride and the groom together.

The list of main rituals/practices are:-

1. Vethalepak : Exchange of gifts between the bride and groom

2. Pandalkal or Chapra : Blessing the wedding venue. The ‘pandal’ in the respective homes of the bride and the groom are also to be sanctified.

3. Devar Samaardhne : Seeking blessings from deities to keep the marriage free from any impediments. (Bhagavat Tadhyaradane)

4. Varapooje or Janwaasam : Heralding the arrival of the groom’s party

and inviting them to the 'mantap'

5. Nischathartham : Commitment to be married is made and announced to

all. This is nowadays done well before the wedding date.

6. Nandi or Vratham : Anointing the bride and groom

7. Kashiyatre : The groom embarks on a mock pilgrimage and is brought back by the Bride’s father.

8. Oonjal or Sambandhmale : The couple exchange garlands

9. Piddishuttal : The couple is protected from 'dhrishti' (evil eye)

10. Kanyadaan : Giving away the bride

11. Mangalaya Dharane : The groom ties the sacred 'taali' on the bride

12. Akshathe : The couple is blessed with the showering of colored rice

13. Homa or Havan : Lighting of the sacred fire

14. Saptapadi : Seven steps around the sacred fire

15. Nagoli Vasthra : The bride' s family welcomes the son-in-law

16. Gruhapravesha : The bride is welcomed into her marital home

17. Sambandhi Virandhu : Both families exchange gifts

18. Reception: Post-wedding celebrations

Varapooje or Janwaasam (in North India it is called Baraat):

The groom and his relatives are received in front of the kalyan mantap by the bride’s parents with tamboola, flowers, cocoanuts, and ‘parappu thengai kutti’ in

the background of Naadaswaram (South Indian shehnai). They are led to place where the stay of the groom and his party has been arranged. The groom is offered a new dress. After he wears it, Wheat-grinding and Turmeric-grinding (“Godumai

Kall Shastram”) ceremonies take place for ushering prosperity and longevity to the couple. This is followed by “Lagna patrika” recital. The mantras that are recited

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during the rite declare that under the will of the God the promise to conduct the marriage was made by the elders of both sides. The groom is then taken in a

procession to a temple near the marriage hall (A special pooja is arranged at Sri Yoga Narasimha swamy temple near the hall). It is a social function, indirectly for

seeking approval by the public of the groom chosen by the bride and her family!

Nischitartam:

Settling the marriage is done on two aspects: one in which a legal contract between

the elders in the two families is entered into and the second is a religious ceremony

usually on the previous day of the wedding. The date having been settled, the

auspicious time (Muhurtam) is fixed based on the birth star of the bride. The

auspicious time (Muhurtam) will run for three and three-fourth “Nazhigai”. Each

Nazhigai is 24 minutes thus making Muhurtam to run for about 90 minutes.

Chiranjeevi Kula Shekharan’s Nischitartam with Chiranjeevi Sowbhagyavati Pruthvi

took place on 08.04.2012 and the wedding got fixed for 01.11.2012 (Dhanur

Lagnam between 09:50 am to 11:30 am). Both the bride and the groom are then

seated for the betrothal with recital of the mantras:

“Uduttara maarohantee vyasyanti prutanyatah,,,,,,,,,,,pateenam cha

devrunancha sajaataanaam viraadbhavah” “Devee vaacha majanayanta

devah......sushtutaitu” “Dhruvante raajaa varuno dhruvam devoo

bruhaspatihi,,,,,,,,,,dhruvam” “Sumuhoorto sthiti bhavanto

anugruhnantu sumurtostu”

The bride is presented with a nishtitharta sari and the groom with a suitable dress.

After they have been dressed in the new attire, blessing by the elders present is

sought. The bride’s father holds a plate with fruits and tamboolam along with a

veshti and requests the groom (“Naalaiku kaalaiyil vratanushtana, utsarjanam

galai sheydukondu, elundaruli kanya sweekaram pannavendum”)

Milan Reception:

The reception is for formal presentation of the groom and the bride to the society, a

social event and has no religious significance. It has now been a practice to hold the

reception on the previous day of the marriage, though many orthodox people

disapprove it. Certain rituals such as garlanding each other and pani-grahanam are

reserved for the wedding day only. There are many advantages in holding the social

event on the previous day itself. In the case of my son, the reception has been

scheduled on the previous day of the marriage [31st October 2012 from 7:00 pm

onwards] since the evening of the wedding day [1st November 2012] clashes with

the marriage function of a close relative of ours at Mysore!

The reception is followed by a lavish spread of a dinner!

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On the Wedding Day

The day of the wedding starts early for both the groom and the bride as there are

many rituals to complete before the Muhurtam. On the day of the wedding as well

on the previous day, the bride wears a number of saris. The bride will have a

typical Tamil hairdo (replicating our Alwar Sri Andal) adored with flowers. The bride

wears rich saris and ornaments while the groom will be wearing only simple dress!

Anugne:

Starting as “Namah Sadasse…..”, this the first part of every ritual. The bride’s

father addresses the learned people in the mantap and seeks their permission to

perform the rituals. According to our sastras, getting the permission (‘anugraham’)

from vedic scholars is equal to getting the permission from the sastras. Here the

bride’s father will seek anugraham to perform ‘udhvaha karma’, ‘punyaham’,

‘ankura’, ‘pratisara’, etc.

Pratisara Bhandam:

The bride’s father, amidst a huge portion of vedic chants, ties the right hand of the groom and the left hand of the bride with a thread (Manjal kaappu) immersed in turmeric solution. The mantras invoke Vasuki Devata to protect the bride and the

groom against all evils.

Vratam and Palikai:

The rituals begin in the early hours on the marriage day separately for the groom and the bride. Before taking bath, both have Nalangu paste smeared on their hands and feet. The groom performs vratam and the bride’s father performs

Jathakarna and Namakarna (if not performed earlier) to the bride. The groom’s prospective mother-in-law applies Mai (eye-shade) to the groom as part of

decoration and shows him a mirror. Five bowls (Paalikai) containing Ousadhi Dhanyas (pre-soaked grains) is brought and water is poured into them by five elderly sumangalis. After the seeds sprout, they are discharged in a river. In

Karnataka, the sprouted seeds are distributed to the gathering, which I feel is more sensible since the ritual signifies fertility. By doing this the love and affection

mutually between the groom and the bride will grow very fast!

Kasiyatre:

Just prior to kasiyatre, traditional practice is for the mother of the bride

accompanied by other elderly ladies (sumangalis) to carry vrata bhakshanangal to

the groom’s room. The groom is seated facing east along with another person and

both are served with theruttupaal, idlis, bhakshanangal, etc. After this the groom

wears chappals, holds a walking stick, an umbrella and carries Srimat

Bhagavatgeeta book. He will carry a coconut and Beatle leaf, dakshinai and some

rice in a shoulder bag and proceeds for kasi yatre. He seeks permission from the

bride’s father thus:

Charita brahma charyoham kruta vrata chatushtayah| Kasi yatra

gamishyami anugnam dehi mae shubham||

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(Meaning: As I move past from brahmacharya, I seek your permission to go for

kasi yatre which is one of the four vratas).

To this request the bride’s father replies:

Saalankaaram mama sutam kanyam daasyami te dwija| Paanim

gruhitwaa saagnistwam gacha swaagachcha madgruham||

(Meaning: Take my well dressed daughter in kanya dhaan and later go for kasi

yatra along with her). Thus the groom is brought back.

Sambhanda Maalai:

The bride is carried by her maternal uncle (Mama) to the Unjal (swing). The bride

and the groom are lifted to the shoulders of their respective uncles and in that

position exchange flower garlands thrice and then sit on the Unjal in the midst of

songs and nadaswaram. A garland worn by a person, should not be used by

another, ordain our shastras. Here the exchange of garlands symbolizes their

unification as ‘one soul in two bodies’. It is inward acceptance by each of the very

fragrance of the other. The chains of the Unjal signify the eternal Karmic link with

Almighty above; the to-and-fro motion of the Unjal represent the undulating sea-

waves of life; yet, in mind and body they shall move in harmony unperturbed,

steady and stable. While the couple are seated on the Unjal, their feet are washed

with milk and water, Five sumangalis pour water into deepa patre and jala patre

circling the pair three times (for removing dhrishti) followed by arati. The pair is

then led to the mantap. Among Iyengars from Tamilnadu, the bride and the groom

hold hands and enter the mantap. In our customs in Karnataka, the bride and the

groom have to hold the hand of their respective mothers-in-law!

Adoring “Metti”:

A silver ring is to be worn on the second fingers of the toes traditionally by married

women. Both the Thali and Metti are symbols that a woman is married and are

considered very sacred. Our sastras have attached great significance for the Metti.

In the old days, the brother of the bride would put Metti to the bride but in recent

years it has been the practice for the groom to perform the function. Medically it is

proved that wearing silver Metti regulates the menstrual cycle for the bride.

Arundati Star :

Watching the Arundati Star is one of many activities to impart the traditional values

enshrined in the sastras. Just before Mangalya-dharanam, the groom takes the

bride outside in the open to show her Arundati Star, which in the ‘Great Bear’

constellation shines as the sixth star of the Saptha Rishi Mandal. Arundati was the

wife of the great sage Vashista and became an immortal star due her devotion to

her husband. She is identified with the morning star and forms a double star with

Vashista in Ursa Major. When the groom shows the bride the double star of

Vashishta and Arundati, it is symbolic of marital fulfillment and mutual loyalty.

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Kanya Dhanam :

Translated literally it means gifting the bride to the groom. Our sastras attach great

importance to Kaya Dhanam as the most sacred of all dhanams. The groom is

treated as Lakshi Narayana Swaroopi. The bride is made to sit on the lap of her

father. Ganga Water (we also mix with water from Manasa Sarovar, Yamuna and

Kaaveri rivers) is poured (sprinkled) with the recital of the mantras:

Kanyam, kanaka sampannam, kanakabharana bhushitham,Dhaasyami

Vishnave Thubhyam Brahmaloka jigeeshaya;

Viswarambara:, sarvabootha: Sakshina: sarvadevathaa:

Imam Kanyam pradhaasyami pitrunam tharanaya cha;

Kanye mamagratho bhooya: Kanye mea bhava parswayo:

Kanyeme saravatho bhooya: twa dhaana moshamapnuyam

Imam kanyam praja sahathwa karmabhya: prathipadhayami.

To this the groom replies “Kanyaam Prathigrunnami” (“I am accepting her”). The

mantras mean: “With the aim of attaining Bramhmaloka, I am giving this fully

ornamented girl to you. In witness of the gods ruling this earth, to please my

ancestors, I am handing over this girl to your care. With high character, pleasing

manners, this girl will assist you in all your good deeds.” The father of the bride

addresses the groom three times saying “Dharmecha, Arthecha, Kaamecha Naathi

charitavya” and the groom replies all three times “Naaticharami”. It means that the

groom will not violate accepted codes of conduct in his married life with the bride.

While transferring the bride her father should tell the following prayer: - (a) I am

giving to you as a gift, my ever playful gold like daughter, who came to my house

to give redemption to my ancestors and who would make me reach the heavens in

future, bedecked in gold to you, who is the personification of Vishnu. (b) I am

giving her to you so that you can get children through her and do all your

prescribed religious duties.

The groom replies: - I accept her by the grace of Sun who made this world, with my hands protected by the Aswini Devas with the permission of the Sun God.

Just after Kanya Dhanam various other dhanams are given away by the bride’s father. Bhoo-danam, Gov-danam and Saaligrama Danams are given to the groom

and other 10 danams to srivaishnavites.

Thiru Mangalya Dharanam :

Known as Taali, it is tied to the neck of the bride by the groom. Our traditional taali

made for Chiranjeevi Sowbhagyavati Pruthvi is similar to this:

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Thirumangalyam is tied to turmeric powder-coated thread, kept on a silver platter

along with a piece of jaggery, rice, a coconut and a heavy nine yard Kanchivaram

sari given by the mother of the groom to the bride and are taken to the Acharya,

the priests, elders and the assembled guests for their blessings (Dheerga

sumangali bhava; ayur arogya ishwarya sampat amurutadbhava; grihastashrame

shubhanivardhantam..etc).

After the bride comes back wearing koorai-pattu sari, she sits on the lap of her

father who himself will be sitting on a heap of paddy. Paddy signifies prosperity. A

ring made by dharba grass is placed on her head with the mantra :Aryamno agnim

pariantu kshipram prateekshantag schchrvo devarashcha (Meaning: “Mothers-

in-law of both sides may pray for the blessings of Soorya (the Sun God) and see the

ring placed”]. On the ring a symbolic yoke is placed. Lord Indra is invoked

addressing Him as ‘Sachipati’. The Thirumangalyam (Tali) is placed on the aperture

of the yoke. Holy water is then sprinkled through the aperture. Note that the yoke

is for tilling the fields and is drawn by two bullocks. This symbolizes that just as two

bullocks draw a cart, the success of the marriage depends on the harmony of both

the husband and wife. Tali is then tied in three knots round the neck of the bride –

first two knots by the groom and the third knot by the groom’s sister – signifying

that the bride has become the wife of the groom. The three knots represent for the

couple union of mind, spirit and body. There is no Vedic mantra for tying the knots

because Mangalya Sutram was not stipulated in the Vedas. But then this custom

has become part of Hindu marriages! The mantras “mângalyaṁ tantunânena

mama jîvanahetunâ | kaṇṭheḥ badhnami subhage, sañjîva śaradaḥ

śatam ||” etc recited by the groom mean: “This is a sacred thread. It is essential for

my long life. Great Indra, Bhagan, Aryama, Savita and other heavenly Gods have

given you to me and you will preside over our family; may you present us with fine

progeny and prosperities; may we both live in absolute compatibility through all

stages of our lives till the end. We adore you as Lakshmi the Goddess of

benevolence, wealth, compassion and beauty. Towards seeking your protection and

support, let the Gods grant you harmony. Please lead us to the sublime state of

this life.” The groom then ties the stomach of the bride with a thread made from

dharbha grass, holds her hand with mantra “pooshat waeto…”, makes her to sit in

the south of Agni, himself sitting in the north.

Pani-grahanam:

It is followed by “Pani-grahanam” (holding the hands) in public by the groom and

the bride, indicating to the world that their hearts have set to live together in

harmony. Before the Panigrahana, the groom is given another yajnopaveetha. This

indicates that he has entered grihasta ashramam and has to shoulder additional

responsibilities. The meanings of the mantras for pani-grahanam are:

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Having been protected by God Soma, Gandharva and Agni, I am an ordinary mortal

to take hold of you. But being blessed by the above Gods, I am confident that

wealth, prosperity and children will accrue to me by taking you as my wife.

I am taking hold of your hand as a symbol of ever-lasting love and friendship

between us, till we become old, and as a pledge to bring forth good progeny. The

Gods Bagan, Aryaman, Savitha, Indra have given you unto me to carry on the

gruhastha Aasrama Dharma. This gruhashta aasrama has been sanctified by the

Gods from time immemorial and it is to this high heritage that I am now coming, by

taking your hand.

O Goddess Saraswathi even as you have attained endless fortune and food may we

too by this “Panigrahanam” attain wealth and grains, may we be blessed to love

and live long happily. We will praise your glory in the presence of all living

creatures.

May Vaayu the Air, who pervades everywhere and in all directions purify

everything, who is the friend of Fire God, and who cooks all kinds of food and is

ready with gold in his hand to give to his devotees, may he enter our mind, and

make our friendship everlasting.

Saptapadhi:

The most important ritual on which even the Constitution of India places great

relevance is the Sapthapadi (Seven Steps). Seven steps are taken around the

Homam Fire reciting mantras – one by the groom and the other by the bride with

each step. The groom holds the right hand of his wife in his right hand. The

groom’s uttareeyam (upper cloth) is knotted to the pallu of bride’s sari. Facing east

or north, the bride always puts forth her right step at each of the mantras led by

the bridegroom. At the beginning of each step, the groom recites a Veda mantra

invoking the blessings of Lord Maha Vishnu. Through the seven steps, he prays

Lord Maha Vishnu to follow in the footsteps of his wife and bless her with food,

strength, piety, progeny, wealth, comfort and good health. After every round, the

bride touches her right foot to the grindstone praying that their union will be

eternal as ever. The meanings of the mantras are:-

First Step:

Let God Maha Vishnu who is spread throughout the world, give you food in plenty. It is a pledge that they would provide a prospered living for the household or the

family that they would look after and avoid those that might hinder their healthy living. Second step: Let Him come with you for a second step and give you sufficient strength. It is a

promise that they would develop their physical, mental and spiritual powers in order to lead a lifestyle that would be healthy.

Third step: Let Him come with you for a third step to make you observe all religious rituals. It

is a promise to earn a living and increase by righteous and proper means, so that their materialistic wealth increases manifold.

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Fourth step: Let Him come along with you for the fourth step to give you pleasures. The

married couple pledge to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love, respect, understanding and faith.

Fifth step: Let Him be with you when you take the fifth step to give you lot of wealth. Vow is

taken to expand their heredity by having children, for whom, they will be responsible. They also pray to be blessed with healthy, honest and brave children.

Sixth step:

Let Him lead you the six stages of life with happiness and welfare. By this step the

bride and the groom pray for self-control of the mind, body and soul and longevity

of their marital relationship.

Seventh step: Let Him help you in performing Soma Yaga and other prayers when you take the seventh step (to perform the soma-sacrifice by the worship of the seven Ritwaiks,

namely Hotha, Prasttha, Bhrahma-naathasamsi, Botha, Neshta, Acchavahan and Agnidhara). By this step the married couple promise that they would be true and

loyal to each other and would remain companions and best of friends for the lifetime.

Thereafter the groom addresses the bride with mantras (“sakha sapta padaa bhava…..”) meaning of which is generally summed up as:

You who have taken the seven steps with me should become my friend. We who have taken the seven steps together would live as friends.

I should get your friendship, Oh maid.

Oh maid, I should never get parted from your friendship.

We who have attained each other, should get lustrous health, serenity,

peaceful mind, and should enjoy together the food and all other tastes.

We would plan together all things that are to be done in future.

Let us both make our two minds in to one.

Let us enjoy together all the physical and mental pleasures together from

now onwards.

Let us do all religious observations together.”

Then again the groom tells the bride:-

You are the Rig Veda and I am the Sama Veda

I am the Sama Veda and you are the Rig Veda (recited twice for emphasis).

Like these two Vedas we should never separate from each other. We also

will not get separated.

I am the world Dyu (sky) and you are the Earth (Pruthvi !!!).

I am the material called Shukla (semen) and you are the wearer of this in

your womb.

I am the mind and you are the word

I am telling this because I have lot of care for you.

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Please bear me male children in future

Hey Maid you come with me.

The couple will take a round (pradakshine) of Agni and the Brahmin sitting in the

south before taking their seat. Once the prayer and the grooms request are recited

the bride becomes groom’s wife and joins his family. After this the marriage is

sanctified and complete. The couple takes blessings from their parents and elders

and takes the seat near the Homam Fire to perform yajna as husband and wife.

Yajnas performed by the couple:

The couple will perform homams starting with the Pradhana Homam (16

homams) starting with “Somaya Janivide Swahaa” feeding Agni with ghee and twigs

of nine types of trees as sacrifice. The fumes that arise are supposed to possess

medicinal, curative and cleansing effect on the bodies of the couple. The bride

places her right hand on her husband’s body so that she automatically will

participate in the homams. After this the groom holds the hand of the bride reciting

mantra “Atishtema mashmanam ….prutanayatah” and makes her to place her right

foot on the stone kept in the north - “Ammi” (Grinding stone) and requests her

to maintain the reputation of the family. The grinding stone in the bygone era was

the basic requirement in a Tamil household. This is symbolic of the bride taking

over the kitchen and thereby to look after the guests visiting the home and family.

Next is the Laaja Homams. The brother of the bride gives two hands full of

parched rice to the bride on which the groom pours ghee and holds her hand to

recite “iyam naaryu pabhrute…” and empties to the Agni. Then the couple takes

pradakshine of Agni (excluding the Brahmin sitting the south) with the mantras

“Tubhyam agne paryavahan……………” The groom places the right toe of the bride

on the stone kept in the north reciting mantra “Atishtema mashmanam

….prutanayatah”. The couple again takes their seat. The brother of the bride gives

two hands full of parched rice to the bride on which the groom pours ghee and

holds her hand to recite “aryamanamnu devah…” and empties to the Agni. Then

the couple takes pradakshine of Agni (excluding the Brahmin sitting the south)

with the mantras “Tubhyam agne paryavahan……………” The groom places the right

toe of the bride on the stone kept in the north reciting mantra “Atishtema

mashmanam ….prutanayatah”. The brother of the bride gives two hands full of

parched rice to the bride on which the groom pours ghee and holds her hand to

recite “Twamaryamaabhavasi…” and empties to the Agni. Then the couple takes

pradakshine of Agni (excluding the brahmin sitting the south) with the mantras

“Tubhyam agne paryavahan……………” The groom places the right toe of the bride

on the stone kept in the north reciting mantra “Atishtema mashmanam

….prutanayatah”. Meaning of the Laaja Homam mantras recited by the bride: (1)

“Oh Bhagavan, permit me to leave the home of my parents and proceed to the

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home of my husband; may I be never separated from my husband; may I bring

prosperity to his home.” (2) “May my husband be blessed with a long life; may

both our families experience peace and prosperity” (3) “May my husband get all

progress and prosperity and may our mutual love always grow together.” Then the

couple will perform 58 ahuti jayadi homams starting with “Ohm Chittancha

swahaa..” By all these mantras the groom prays the deities to bless them with (a)

ten children and requests he be blessed to become 11th child of the bride in his old

age; (b) health and longevity; (c) freedom from diseases and inauspicious things;

(d) goodwill and harmony in the family; (e) the bride be blessed to totally identify

with the groom’s family.

Thengai Uruttal:

Cocoanuts covered with turmeric are rolled at each other by the bride and the

groom. This is a social, entertaining and ice-breaking event accompanied by songs.

It serves as an introduction of the relatives of both families to each other.

Lunch :

The couple will have their lunch together in a decorated place.

Griha-pravesam :

After lunch, the just married bride is accompanied by her parents and enters her

husband’s home. The groom carries the sacrificial fire to the home and establishes

Agni (Gruhagni - supposed to be maintained throughout one’s life). It is formal

entry of the bride to her new found home belonging to her in-laws. The entry is

amidst chanting of mantras. The bride is welcomed with Aarati, flowers, sweets,

etc by her in-laws. She enters the home tipping a small heap of rice with her right

foot. She must ensure that rice spills as far as possible bringing prosperity to her

new home! She recites the mantra “grihaan bhadraan sumansaha….” (Meaning: “I

enter this house with a happy heart. May I give birth to children, who observe the

path of righteousness (dharma)! May this house that I enter today be prosperous

forever and never be deficient in food. May this house be populated by people of

virtue and pious thoughts.”) In our case, the Grihapravesam will be held at our

house No.1205, ‘Sri Varsha’, 2nd Cross, T.K.Lay-out, Kuvempu Nagar, Mysore with

a small pravishya homam and Gandharva Pooja. In the night the couple will go to

either east or north of the house to see “Dhruva and Arundati Stars”

The brother of the bride gives the couple the ceremonial first betel (tamboolam) to

the couple. Certain other gifts are made to bless the couple with children and

longevity.