Islamic StudiesFamily Values

MI 320Dr. Robert Patton

Famil ies have problems l ike other cultures

Distrust, rejection, gossip, abuse and bitterness may occur

Sometimes alcoholism, immorality, unemployment, and other problems

Finances Saudi Arabia – a few are rich: Most are poor – 23% of income in

USA Strong group orientation Many are in refugee camps, war

situations

Family relationships Virtually all cultures

You need to understand the LOCAL language and culture

Love, loyalty, and struggle with usual problems of all people occur

Family relations are strong – as well as negative feelings if anything interferes

Two key values Honor is t ied to the group

Controls behavior Arbitrates justice Hope to the group

Shame – damages the group Group solidarity gives value and

worth

One way to learn Sometimes asking for help wil l open

the door to understanding the family and values

We need to be open in our own struggles and victories through Christ

Keys to understanding Arabic language

Superiority Exaggeration Shading truth to protect family Over-assertion Repetit ion Shaming

Keys to understanding Islamic values

Finality of the Qur’an and Hadith Determinism Fatalism Resistance to change Tied to the past Popular Islam

Keys to understanding Bedoin Ethic:

Group solidarity Mutual responsibil i ty Hospitality Generosity Courage Self-respect Protection of women

Priorities Visit ing Hospitality Neighbors often ask for help –

and are rarely turned away

Priorities Cooperation in larger groups

Firing is often diff icult May keep workers just because family

supports your business even if the worker is ineff icient

Some ladies wil l pool money for larger purchases

Feasts Id-al-Adha – at the end of the

hajj, obligatory slaughtering a sheep (by all Muslims who can afford it) celebrating Abraham’s sacrif ice of his son (they claim Ishmael)

Feasts Id-al-Fitr – 3 day festival at the

end of Ramadan, visit ing friends, wearing new clothes 10 t h month

Feasts Maulid al-Nabi – the birthday of

Muhammad on the 12 t h day of Rabi al-Awwal.

Usually not a public holiday – 3 r d month

Feasts Laailat al-Baraa – the night God

registers all the deeds men do in the following year.

All births and deaths recorded. Stay awake all night – some fast,

more feast

Feasts All feasts are religious Nominal Muslims enjoy them too Respect –

Do not eat in public during Ramadan Close off ices & institutions on major feast

days

Feasts Christians may use Christmas, Good

Friday and Easter as celebrations. Celebrate in culturally appropriate ways Emphasize the spiritual significance

Some Muslim countries allow Christmas or Easter programs at government expense

Feasting - Ramadan Hearty meal before dawn Until sundown, no food, drink, sex,

except for women who are menstruating, pregnant or nursing, and the sick and elderly.

Travelers may make up the fast later

Feasting - Ramadan First 3 days usually no schools or

businesses, then feasting. Some reverse and sleep during the day

Ramadan holy life Watch sinful thoughts and emotional

outbursts No questionable dating, movies

Ramadan holy life Time to pray and come close to God

and the community Extra public prayers Extra food and great hospitality

Breaking fast: Id al-Fitr Big feast for several days Lots of visit ing Often go to family, ask

forgiveness

Family life Family is extremely strong Honor is given to age, and to the man At age 25, the oldest son has

responsibil i ty also for his mother The oldest son must maintain family

honor, and protect his sisters

Rhythm of Muslim life Common to mankind – eating,

sleeping, working Muslim faith – 5 pil lars of faith Calendar of Muslim festivals Rites of passage – birth to death

Muslim calendar Muslim calendar is lunar and 354 days

long This is why the dates keep shift ing,

including Ramadan – about every 35 years it is back to the beginning

Calendar starts AH (anno Hegirae – 16 july 622 AD)

Muhammad on best women Loved by her husband and her

relatives Humble in her husband’s presence Always l istens to him Adorns herself and is cheerfully his

joy Virtuous, retir ing, and modest before

others

Birth Customs None commanded by the Qur’an At birth wrapped in swaddling clothes,

priest repeats call to prayer, gives alms

7 t h day – Sacrif ice – aqiqa Male – two sheep or goat Female – one sheep or goat

Birth rites Aqiqa – if not performed, God wil l not

call up the child by parents name. Things wil l not go well; but doing it brings good luck and protection against satan

Meat – 1/3 to poor, 1/3 to midwife, rest to family

Birth rites Child named 7 t h day – by oldest male

or pious man By 4 years, 4 months, 4 days – teach

the child the Bismil lah Circumcision time varies – some say

7 t h year Sometimes animistic practices too

Birth rites It is possible in some cases to

make Christian substitutions

Women’s honor Very important – women MUST retain

virginity unti l marriage, and remain faithful after marriage

To maintain honor, family may disown, maim, or kil l the women to reestablish family honor

Women’s honor Breaking away from the faith and

traditions also brings great shame -

Women’s honor Women dress and behave modestly Never alone with a male who is not a

male from the extended family Young ladies marry according to family

wishes Children honor and obey adults, even

as adults

Women’s honor Women and children respect male

authority Rearing a son brings honor; no

son is a shame

Women’s honor Pregnancy outside wedlock is the

ult imate shame ISIS has raped women and told

them the only way to regain family honor was as a suicide bomber

Marriage A social contract Imam gives a message, and asks

each if they accept the other. They are in separate rooms

Marriage Man promises to give a certain

amount of money if he divorces the woman

Man may have up to 4 wives; must treat them equitably

Marriage There is a feast afterwards Sometimes arrangements for

marriage are made in advance, and then children do not want to honor them. This creates big problems

Funerals Before death, affirm faith in Allah – if

necessary a substitute can do it for him Close eyes, recite the Qur’an, point

feet toward Mecca Special people wash the body in a

special way

Funerals Burial service outside Angels come to ask about earthly

deeds. They must not be kept wait ing, so bury quickly in a white shroud without a casket

Family stays home 10 days and others come to visit

After burial services 3 days – kol – Qur’an read together for

the man’s soul; distribute food to children

Two more services at 10 and 40 days. The last gives food to the Muslim priest which supposedly goes to the dead person