All material copyright Michael Smith 2014

Mindfulness & Meditation Introduction Seminar

Calmer Clinics Introduction to mindfulness Mindfulness is the ability to be aware in the present moment without being judgmental. Normally we are not fully focused on the present, our mind wanders from past events, which we can no longer influence, or to future eventualities, which again we cannot accurately predict. As our attention moves from one thing to another we lose the ability to focus and a habit is formed. Every time our mind wanders the habit is reinforced. Therefore mindfulness helps us to pay attention and is a form of letting go of expectation. We always judge situations and experiences either with aversion (we do not like or want the experience) with attachment (we like and want more of the experience) or with neutrality (we neither like not dislike the experience) we rarely simply observe the experience for what it is. As a result we develop expectations that are often unrealistic and as a result fantasise qualities that do not exist within the experience. A good example is the desire to have a new car. As the thoughts and feelings progress we start to fantasize about the qualities of the new car, thinking how wonderful it would be to drive it, how good we will look to our friends and how the car will bring us happiness. These are fantastical properties which the car cannot possible possess. We then begin to diminish the qualities of the car we wish to exchange for the new model. How poor the qualities are, how unreliable the old car is, how we must look un-cool in the old car. Again, qualities that the car cannot possess. These fantasies cause us unreasonable expectations and as a result we are bound to be disappointed at some stage. Being mindful and attentive we see things how they really exist rather than fantasising about qualities that cannot exist. Being mindful allows us to truly enjoy the moment and experience without the expectations we conjure up. Mindfulness requires three principal attributes as shown in the diagram below.

INTENTION

ATTITUDE ATTENTION

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INTENTION: Intention is a basic foundation to mindfulness because intention establishes the reasons why you are practicing. A driver may have the intention to get to a particular location, but with an added intention to drive safely and carefully this establishes a stronger motivation and is a more intelligent approach. Therefore intention is important. It may be that your intention is to practice mindfulness to reduce stress, or to become more calm and kind. Establish your intention before the practice begins to ensure the correct direction. ATTENTION Attention is the practice of paying attention to what you are doing. As previously mentioned most people do not pay attention and their mind wanders. Paying attention focuses the mind in the present moment. ATTITUDE Having a good intention is not sufficient without positive attitude. If one enters any activity with a mindset that thinks it cannot do the practice, or that one is not good enough, then this will reflect upon your ability to make the best effort. Having a slightly skeptical attitude is good; “I am not certain if this will work, but I will have a positive attitude and try my best” is a very good attitude to begin the session. With these three aspects everything is in place to practice mindfulness with the correct mind set. Experiencing the moment is a meditation in itself and helps relieve stress and focus concentration. In this way you will be more content and less fraught. Practice mindfulness in everything that you do. Being mindful will alleviate a chaotic mind; this reduces tension and the various disturbing emotions that ensue. As a result the mind will naturally fall into a state of calm and happiness. Remember the natural state of the mind is to be calm and happy, not stressed and angry. MINDFULNESS MEDITATION 1 Identifying the intention Using meditation to practice mindfulness is like using the correct tool for the job. If a carpenter wants to cut a piece of wood he uses the sharpest saw he can find. Using a rusty or dull blade the saw will not work well, the wood will not be cut accurately and the effort required by the carpenter will be far more than needed. Therefore using the mind to accurately focus on mindfulness is the key. A mind that wanders, is dull, sleepy or inattentive will only reinforce the old habits. The first thing we must establish is a clear intention. This meditation is short but an important method to establish a clear intention. Simply ask yourself the question, “Why am I doing this practice?” Very often the simplest question is the most effective. Each person may have their own reason and there is no specific one to follow, however it should be helpful, for example, to become calmer, happy, focused, less stressed.

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As you bring your meditation to a close, examine the thoughts that occurred to you, feel the sensations you experienced. Your intentions should now become clear to you. Establish these intentions before you begin any mindfulness session and remind yourself throughout the day what those intentions are. Developing a helpful attitude Mindfulness is about letting go of old habits. We respond to similar situations with a habitual reaction rather than a well thought out response. The difference between reaction and response is that a reaction is usually instinctive based upon a habituated behaviour. A response is well thought out and planned. Habits form over years of repetitive behaviour; a smoker is not addicted with the first cigarette. The habit is formed through repetitive action over and over again until the action becomes instinctive. Most smokers rarely realise what they are doing as they reach for the packet, remove the cigarette and light up. To overcome habits we have to become mindful of the present. A smoker who wants to quit must have the INTENTION to quit and the ATTITUDE to quit plus the ATTENTION to what they are doing in the present moment. As the desire to light up occurs, they realise in that moment that the desire is arising and rather than mindlessly reaching for the packet they can interrogate their mind and reinforce the intention, attitude and attention to create a new habit. The practice of mindfulness actually re-shapes the way the brain is wired; new neuronal connections are made as new habits form. Letting go of predetermined re-actions and viewing experiences for what they are rather than what you expect or think they are, re-wires the brain into a new way of thinking. Acceptance By accepting a situation we can acknowledge experiences. If we are depressed for any reason, then we should accept that we are depressed. Most of us do not want the depression and fight it, or we ignore it and try to avoid it. Yet through acceptance we can explore what the depression is, what is causing it, what are our thought processes. “The two arrows.”

The first arrow is the thoughts that arise, if we are depressed or angry or frustrated, the first thoughts that arise are anger, depression or

frustration.

The second arrow is not accepting these thoughts and criticising, Self-deprecation and a loss of self-esteem. By accepting the thoughts as

occurring we can explore how to deal with them rather than being judgmental and critical. Acceptance does not mean ‘giving up,’ it actually means accepting and realising the situation exists, thus allowing us the attention to the situation rather than ignoring or avoiding it. Developing patience “It is only through experiencing difficulties that we can develop patience” If life were always calm and wonderful we would never learn to develop patience. A lack of patience leads to frustration and anger and possibly even rage. As impatience develops within us we again fantasize about the qualities of the object or person

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causing our impatience. How stupid the person is, how inconvenient the object is being. The habits of impatience are strong and arise very spontaneously. We quickly become annoyed as the habit takes hold. Through the practice of mindfulness we can at least learn to delay the process of impatience. We can also employ techniques to develop patience. When we see traffic light turn amber we can actually stop the car rather than speeding up to get through before it turns to red. Rather than trying to find the shortest queue in the supermarket we can select the nearest regardless of the length of the line and just be aware and present in the moment. We can enjoy the smells and sights, or simply watch the people go about their business. Queuing then becomes an enjoyable pastime rather than a source of impatience and anger. If someone is talking to you, spend more time listening than waiting to talk back. Very often we miss what is being said to us because we are too intent on what we want to say next. Slow down and pay attention and listen rather than thinking of the next statement. MEDITATION 2 Letting go or following the breath This meditation allows us to let go in a non-judgmental and kind way. Sitting with a straight back we bring our attention to the breathing. Simply allow the mind to rest on the in-breath and out breath. Feel the in breath as it passes over the nostrils, down the bronchial passage and into the lungs. Do not change or judge the breath, just allow it as it is. If thoughts arise simple let them go rather than following them. Do not judge yourself but rest into the breathing. Thoughts will arise; this is natural, as you notice the mind wandering off, just bring it back to the moment of breathing once again. If your mind wanders off just bring it back without criticism or judgment, it is the nature of the mind to think. Do not try to stop thoughts as this will fail simply do not follow the thoughts to another fantasy. Practice this for a few minutes every day. Emotions Emotions occur as a result of thought. As we think so we develop a feeling associated with the thought, this could be a neutral feeling, a feeling of aversion or attachment according to the thought itself and the habits that come into play. As the thought arises in response to an experience a feeling will also arise. If the feeling is positive then the resulting emotion will be pleasant. If the feeling is negative then the emotion will also be negative. However as emotions develop so the feelings intensify. As the feelings intensify the thoughts become more active, the habits are reinforced and we are caught up in emotional disturbances. Negative thoughts give rise to a negative feeling; this gives rise to negative or disturbing emotions, which result in a contaminated action, (an action which will have unpredictable results). If we want the results of our actions to be positive then we must have emotional intelligence. If we are caught up in habitual behaviour then our feelings will follow that behavioural pattern and as such, our emotions will also likewise follow.

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Disturbing emotions will always give rise to a contaminated action. Therefore it is essential that we practice mindfulness and become aware of our thoughts and feelings and emotions. This must be non judgmental, if we criticise ourselves then we can become depressed and angry. Simply observing the feeling and emotion will in itself allow us to see the situation more clearly and apply mindfulness. For example if our tendency is to become impatient. When we encounter an experience that challenges our patience, our thoughts begin to escalate based upon the habit of impatience. Adrenaline begins to circulate causing tension and discomfort, which causes an unpleasant feeling. As we do not like the feeling so our emotional state becomes impaired and disturbed. If we are not mindful then an action based upon this negative emotion takes place. This could be anger, frustration, even an outburst. By being aware of our feelings and observing them, we acknowledge the impatience but do not allow it to take over. Over time the habit changes and we diminish our impatience. Observing feelings and emotions through mindfulness is essential in mind training. MEDITATION 3 Observing emotions and feelings Sitting with a straight back, hands resting in the meditation position bring the mind to the breathing. Observe the in-breath and out-breath. Feel the coolness as the air enters the nose and the slight warmth as the air exits the nose again. Slowly become aware of your thoughts. Listen to the thoughts as they arise and fall away in your awareness. Become an observer rather than a participator of your thoughts. Continually listen to the thoughts as they might arise. You can imagine that your mind is like a river; you are sitting on the riverbank simply observing the river. In the river are all sorts of things passing by, tree roots, garbage, maybe boats or animals. Do not grab onto these passing objects simply observe them. Now as you view your thoughts observe any feelings that arise. Are there feelings of discomfort, relaxation or tension, or are they simply neutral. What emotions arise, are there feelings of frustration, happiness, or anger. Just observe, try to avoid becoming part of the emotion and being swept away with it. Just acknowledge the experience. By acknowledging the emotion or feeling without judgment allows pure observation, negative emotions lose their force when observed non-judgmentally. They are given fuel when we reinforce the emotion with more thoughts, especially as we judge ourselves or the situation. Sitting in this meditation and simply observing develops mindfulness of the present. Our negative habitual responses are reinforced through repetitive action; very often these actions are almost unconscious and ‘mindless.’ Practice this meditation for 5-6 minutes every day.

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Developing Kindness Kindness and Compassion Every one of us responds to kindness, even animals. A dog can be taught to behave using a stick to beat it, but it will become neurotic and stressed when told to do something. Yet the same discipline can be achieved through kindness and compassion and the dog will be calm and happy. We all like to be around calm individuals and the sense of warmth we experience when someone just holds our hand or talks to us in a loving way is remarkable. The physiological effects are also measurable, our blood pressure decreases, our face relaxes and the tension dissolves throughout our body. A kind word rather than a harsh reprimand achieves so much more. There is already so much hatred in the world already, we do not need to participate in it or contribute to it. A kind and compassionate nature naturally makes the mind more calm and at ease. The development of kindness is crucial to our own happiness. The strong attachment we all have to ourselves is misguided and does not help us to become relaxed. When we really think about it this all important, “I” is actually very elusive. Ancient philosophers actually dispute the very existence of an “I” at all. The "I" we imagine to exist is really a collection of body parts and mind. When we go to analyse where this, “I” exists we actually do not find it at all, it is not the bones or skin, or cells or organs. It is not even the mind because the mind is made up from thousands of thoughts; if the “I” were the mind then there must be thousands of "I’s" to represent each thought. So really this all-important “I” or “ego” is not actually findable at all. We simply construct this I as a label then cling to it as being our very centre of being. This makes us cling very strongly to a self-identity and when we are insulted or praised, the sense of ego is either revolted or becomes proud. Either way this gives rise to an emotional response which then determines an action. For example, someone praises us for a good job well done. Our sense of pride is inflated and our sense of ego becomes very exaggerated. We then feel superior, better than someone else. Then when we are insulted we feel very hurt, our pride is wounded and our ego damaged, we then react with hatred or jealousy. These are all very disturbing emotions and result in us acting in a way that can also be damaging. We all feel guilty after we have “lost the plot” and shout at someone. If we had a kinder nature our sense of ego is reduced and we become much more calm. By examining this “I” or “ego” in meditation we see it for what it really is. A mental construct that we cling to as being very real and concrete. Develop kindness and compassion in your life, it will reduce the sense of ego and allow a more calm nature to evolve.