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Indulge | April/May 2012 | 1

spirit|soul|bodyIndulge

April/May 2012

Pastor Helen Burns

The Promises of Love

Julie CaveOut Of The Shadows

Ps Francine HuntKeeping Calm

Energy To Power Through LifeAre You A “Good Enough” Mum?

April WalkerA Life Transformed

CelebratingMother’s Day

d F o o d d F a s h i o n d G i f t s

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The CoverCover Pastor Helen BurnsPhotography Natasha Smith, NSP Studio Photography

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Indulge eMagazine is published bimonthly by the ILTS Project Pty Ltd (ACN 147832906). All rights are reserved and the contents are copyright and may not be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. ILTS Project (“the Publisher”), their related companies and officers herby disclaim, to the full extent permitted by law, all liability, damages, costs and expenses whatsoever arising from or in connection with copy information or other material in this magazine, any negligence of the publisher, or any person’s actions in reliance therein. Any dispute or complaint regarding placed advertisements must be made within seven days of publication. Inclusion of any copy must not be taken as any endorsement of the Publisher. Views expressed by contributors are personal views and they are not necessarily endorsed by the Publisher. All reasonable efforts have been made to trace copyright holders by the Publisher. The Publisher and the authors do not accept any liability whatsoever in respect of any action taken by readers in reliance on the recommendation set out in this magazine.

Indulge eMagazine is part of the iluvthoseshoes Project which seeks to empower women in their journey through life by resourcing them, spirit, soul and body.

Empower = make more confident; to give authorityResource = source of help; solutions to problems

Publisheriluvthoseshoes Project www.iluvthoseshoes.com

Editor-in-ChiefCharissa Steffens [email protected]

Creative DirectorNatasha Smith [email protected]

Technical DirectorDavid Steffens [email protected]

Senior EditorsNicky HurleCatherine Johnsen

ProofingBarrie Nicholson

Fashion EditorTanya Epis

Food EditorAngela Frost

ContributorsDr Cris BeerPastor Francine HuntNicky Hurle Candice SchmidtCharissa Steffens

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AccountantsHenderson Accountants

Terms & Conditions of Giveaway (pg. 6)All entries must be received by email before 10pm on 27th April 2012 (AEST). The two winning email entrants will be notified by email by 2nd May 2012 and accessories packs will be posted via Australia Post shortly after.


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ONEVOICE

24 - 26 MAY 2012

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Brisbane Convention Centre, 24 - 26 May 2012Cost (includes lunch Saturday 26th): Adult: $130.00 Under 21s: $99.00 Ph: (07) 3496 1486 Email: [email protected]

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In this issue...Walker – mother of Australian Idol (2009) series winner, Stan Walker. April shares her amazing transformation from battered wife to businesswoman, and how it is all due to God’s work in her life.

As Mother’s Day is not far away we have some fabulous fashion, food and health tips for you. Enhance Accessories have donated two great gift packs to giveaway to two beautiful women who make a difference in their world. So if you know someone who deserves a little bit of ‘bling’ for all they do, make sure you email us about them at [email protected]

On behalf of the Indulge team, we hope you enjoy this great issue. Allow it to touch your spirit, renew your soul and refresh your body. Celebrate who you are today!

Love

CharissaCharissa SteffensEditor-in-Chief

As I look at the three women’s faces on the opposite page I see the beauty, wisdom and talent that each ‘carries’; all three exude these characteristics but in such a unique way that they cannot be compared. Each woman (person) consists of many facets, like a beautiful diamond, and just like a diamond, when the right light (Jesus) shines through it, its magnificence is revealed.

This issue of Indulge is full of women who shine in their own way because of the work that Jesus has done in their lives, and I love that. Often we think the “grass is greener” in someone else’s life but as you read through our pages this month, you will discover that no woman has a perfect life. Each one of us is a masterpiece in the making; we are being shaped, honed and loved into the person Jesus desires us to be. So, I would encourage you to simply glean from the beauty of Christ’s work in each of these lives and allow Him to shape you into the woman He is calling you to be.

I am very pleased to be able to bring you the stories we have gathered together in this issue. It was a great privilege to be able to chat with Pastor Helen Burns in Sydney recently about motherhood. Pastor Helen is a well-respected international speaker on relationships and she shares her heart about motherhood with us. Another powerful interview, in our Body section, is with April


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Spirit

SoulBody

The Promises Of LovePastor Helen BurnsKeeping CalmPastor Francine HuntPower in PraiseNicky Hurle

Out of the ShadowsJulie Cave Book ReviewsNicky HurleGorgeous Generous GratefulCharissa SteffensBeing a ‘Good Enough’ MumCandice Schmidt

A Transformed LifeApril Walker InterviewQueen of Hearts {Fashion Special}Tanya EpisHow to Have the Energy of an Energiser BunnyDr Cris BeerMum’s Day Off {Food Section}Angela Frost

contents

In this issue...


To enter send a short email to [email protected]

about someone you know who is changing their world for

the better by Friday 27 April 2012

Terms & Conditions pg 2

We lovewomen

who make theworld better

Thanks to

Mot

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Day

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BEAUTIFUL: Lavish Devotions for WomenIs a wonderful gift idea for any mum by author and speaker Elissa Macpherson. Vibrant, colourful, expressive, romantic, creative - this is the portrait of Jesus that emerges from the pages of this book. Mention God and most of us get some kind of blurry grey smudge in our heads, except for Elissa Macpherson. Forget your impressions of dusty ritual and allow Elissa to share her rich vision of intimacy with Jesus Christ. Available from Koorong or Word.

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Enhance Accessories has a selection of beautiful fashion jewellery products. We also want to be an organisation that adds beauty and value to people’s lives. A proportion of our profits focus on providing practical help and funding for organisations that provide permanent solutions that significantly improve lives in areas such as victims of human trafficking, orphaned children, disabled and many other needs. To find out more about enhance accessories including stockists email [email protected]

Great mum’s day ideas...


“All your children shall be disciples {taught by the Lord and obedient to His will} and great will be the peace and undisturbed composure of your children” Isaiah 54:13 (AMP)

Pastor Helen Burns

SPIRIT



The Promises ofLOVEWords: Charissa Steffens

Photography: Natasha Smith NSP Studio Photography


Could you share your testimony with us?I was raised in an amazing home with Godly parents… I was raised in church but the church that I grew up in was very traditional and legalistic. It was a place that had a lot of positives but also some challenges. Later on when I meet John and we got married our backgrounds really clashed. We got along great and our families were fine about our relationship, but the religious aspect became a real challenge. So even though I was born again at a young age, just after John and I got married, (I was 18 and he was 21), we left church.

I led John to the Lord when he was in high school. He came from a denomination that knew about God and he was religious in his church attendance but he had no relationship with God in a personal

way. I was raised in a more evangelical way but this caused a clash. No one would marry us because of our different religious backgrounds. That was quite hurtful and so we decided to leave church. That was a very bad decision. Even though John said his initial attraction to me was sparked after someone had said, “There is a girl who likes you but, if you ever talk to her, don’t mention God because she will talk your ear off.” I was passionately in love with Jesus during that time but because of the clash of these two different backgrounds I thought ‘I am done with church for a little while’. During that time in our lives we had really disconnected from God and we walked through some challenging times, not just because of our leaving the church but because of our different backgrounds. I grew up in a home where I heard “I love you” every day. That was how we did life and there was a lot of affection. John’s upbringing was different. There was love, but there wasn’t any expression of it in a verbal or physical way. He was raised in a very large family (11 children) and so I think the expectations of my 18 year old self and his expectations where miles apart.

Sadly, because I had walked away from God and because I didn’t know how to communicate during those challenging times, we walked through a very dark place. Just after we were married, John was accepted into dental school and started in the full pursuit of dentistry while I stayed at home and got pregnant. By the age of 19 I had Angela, at 20 I had Danica and two years after that I had Ashley, right before John graduated. At that point our marriage was really broken. He had built a dental practice up in British Colombia about 500kms away and it was during that time of building that

Pastor Helen Burns and her husband John have a passion to see family relationships flourish and grow strong through the promises of God. After almost losing her own marriage, Pastor Helen can testify to the blessings that come when you trust God and allow His promises of love to guide you in life.

Now married for 37 years, Pastors John and Helen lead a growing church of over 2000 people in Vancouver Canada; have their own television show Relate with John and Helen; they have authored several books on relationships and are invited to speak internationally.

Pastor Helen was recently in Sydney at the annual Colour Conference and I had a chance to sit down with her and chat about her journey, the importance of relationships and motherhood.


LOVE

“...because I had walked away from God and... didn’t know how to communicate...

we walked through a very dark place”Indulge | April/May 2012 | 13


practice and building a home that I just thought, “We’re not doing this anymore… I can’t do this.” Everything about my life at that time was shattered and broken and that was when I decided that I didn’t want to be married anymore.

It was at this desperate time that I came back to God. John had moved away to be at the practice and I was home by myself with my little girls. I just thought, “This is not it, this is not the life God called me to live”. So I got on my knees before God and that was in many ways the real beginning of my relationship with God. Even though I had a real zeal for God as a teenager, it was at this point I realized God had a destiny for me and I began to pursue it.

So what happened to reunite you and John? John was living up north, I was at home and one night I just came to a place of looking at my life and feeling heartbroken. I realized that I had a choice to make, so I tucked my girls into bed and I went to my bedroom and I got on my knees and I said, “God I have had life with you and I have had life without you and I just don’t want to live life without you anymore”. At that point I just had the most amazing encounter with God. God was so real and I felt washed and cleansed and whole. I went and got my bible, which I had not opened for four years, and I read it and I began to discover who I was. I was voraciously reading it, I could not get enough of it. I just felt like every page was about me and the promises of God were to me and I just began to get a new picture of who I was. Today I know so much more about that, and there are many books today that can help you discover who you are, but that was a journey on my own and it was a time when God just began to teach

me who Helen was. So when I began to discover who I was I had this little epiphany and I thought, “Ok God, so who is John?”. And so I began to discover John in the Word.

John was still living up north and I was in Vancouver and I began to pour over the Word. Any time I saw where it talked about a man of God I would just put John’s name next to it. Then I began to do it with my daughters’ names too. I would just put our names into the Word. During this time things began to change and I began calling John and saying, “We need to make this work”, and so I moved up north to be with John.

I was a different woman, and he liked it. He had so wanted to be everything I had longed him to be but we had a lot of pain and hurt, there had been a lot of stupid words spoken. I had grown very angry during that time… I grew angry, he grew silent; they used to call me Mount St Helens back then (laughs). I was very angry back then and hurt, and hurt people hurt people… that is what they do. So I began to change; my language

“God I have had life with you and I have had life without you and I just don’t want to live life without

you anymore”

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“It means the world to us be able to help marriages and families because we know... how close we came to losing

everything”

Indulge | April/May 2012 | 17Indulge | April/May 2012 | 17

Not long after we had a real sense that God was calling us to ministry and that was scary - dentistry is a very secure way to live. It was a prosperous, blessed life style and we felt like we could contribute financially to ministry. You don’t go into dentistry and study all those years to walk away and yet we had something new. It was funny because John and I wouldn’t even talk about it to each other but God had spoken to John and to me individually. He had never said the words ‘pastoring’ or ‘church’ and yet one day John clearly heard God say to him that he wanted him to step into full time ministry. We were at the time under great leadership in our church, yet we just knew. Finally, John came to me one day and said, “I need to talk to you” . I said, “I already know what it is” and he said “I don’t think you know what it is”. I said, “Yeah I think I do” (laughing) and finally he said, “Is it about ministry?” and I said, “Yeah I already know” and off we went.

That was 26 years ago and it has been a fun adventure together. We stepped out and planted a church together that now has two locations and has grown to a congregation of around 2000. It is healthy and beautiful; it is not perfect, it is full of imperfect people, like us, but it is flourishing and it has lots of ministry outside the walls of the church. Like Bobbie Houston was sharing (at Colour 2012) it is like a lighthouse in the city, not just a flash in the night like a shooting star but a lighthouse.

We have been blessed to be able to go to the nations, though our television show Relate with John and Helen, the She Loves magazine and we do a lot of conferences. I think it is funny how the messiest part of our life is what God has put a calling on by giving us a platform to speak to marriages and families. It means the world to us to be able to help marriages and families because we know on a very personal level how close we came to losing everything. We know how to fight for what is important. John and I have been married now for 37 years and we are just more in love than ever. It is amazing how great life can be if you just stay at it.

began to change; my vision began to change and that entire transformation was through the word of God.

We got involved in a great church and it was like a “welcome home” church. It was denominationally the same as the church I grew up in but it had this beautiful spirit. The pastors were welcoming and we found a real sense of community there. Over the next six years we just flourished and it was an amazing time.

Then God spoke to John really clearly one night and said, “It’s time to go back to Vancouver”. By this time we were working in the youth group, John had a thriving Dental practice, life was full and blessed and God was rebuilding our marriage. We had begun to understand the importance of words and relationship.

At first it seemed so scary. God had taken us up there and had rebuilt our lives and it was a little bit scary to go back to a place where we had faced some real challenges. But we were brand new and God put us back into community. John opened another dental practice and it just took off and we got involved in ministry again.


Your website has a quote that says, “Marriage is the most important human relationship.” Why is that?I think it is, and that is not to take anyway from anyone who is not married but I think it is foundational. I think about the Garden of Eden; God put Adam and Eve in the garden and He told them to have dominion and multiply. To me that is the foundation - marriage. It is interesting because just last week we were teaching in our church, and I think it would be very similar here in Australia, as it is in Canada that so many people have given up on marriage and they are just living together because they have seen such a demise of marriage. We often throw it out as an institution and don’t believe in it anymore and yet it is foundational. There is nothing that John and I really get opposed to more than when we take on ‘living together’. People say to us, “don’t tell me I am not committed”. But it is not that; we don’t think they are not committed but we believe living together has created some massive cracks in our societies. Sadly there are a lot of bad marriages and I am not saying stay married in a very bad or horrible marriage, there are some cases that of course are the exception but I still believe marriage is foundational to a healthy society.

You have raised three daughters… how did you maintain a heart-to-heart connection through the years?I just think it was very organic. I decided to do life real and being authentic is important. I have not done it perfectly, but I think when you have an authentic relationship with them it is best. I credit my mum for teaching me that. She is my hero, she is open, she is a woman of God and she was very real. I could always talk to mum about anything. There was no question ever that she wasn’t ‘mom’ (authoritative), but she created a place that I could talk to her and feel safe. I think that translated into the relationships with my daughters. Through the teenage years and through all the years, there is a friendship factor. I am still ‘mom’ but the friendship develops through time and I feel that we have that. So I think it is always about having open communication but never stepping down

from your role as mom; they need you to be mom. One of my daughters had a devastating eating disorder. Today she is magnificent and strong, but I needed to be mom and be real and honest and walk through it with her. Be in it together, do not take an arms length approach but just do whatever it takes together. I feel like I have that with my grandchildren now too. My eldest grandchild, Maddison, is 16 and I feel like we are close and I think that is the beauty of being authentic. I have always wanted to create a safe place where they know they can come to me. It is important to have strong boundaries but it is not just about being an authority figure and they know that. I share my stories with them. I think sometimes we think we can’t be real, especially as a Christian leader. It’s not dumping on them but letting them see what was ok to see and I think that has helped them feel safe to come when they need to.

Often as mothers we have expectations about how we wish our children to grow up but often reality is different to our dreams. How do you deal with that in a constructive way?I don’t think that I ever imposed upon my daughters that they had to be something specific but I think that when you grow up in a public forum, and your parents teach on marriage and relationships, there is a self-imposed pressure that they have carried. One of our daughters is walking through a real marriage crisis and we just never expected it, but people make choices. She is doing magnificently but listening to some of the things that she shares, she feels like this should not be happening because her parents teach on marriage and she feels like she has to fix it.

“I have not done it (parenting) perfectly, but I think when you

have an authentic relationship with them it is best”


With our children we put a healthy expectation on them more in regards to walking honorably before God, not about embarrassing us. The legalistic environment that I was raised in was about performance - what we wore, how we acted. We were constantly under scrutiny and I guess I have had a strong reaction when I thought that was being imposed upon my children. Yet they still felt it, even though I tried hard to buffer them from that. I guess it just comes with the territory (of being in the public eye). I have to say Bobby Houston was great for me about this topic. We talked a lot, there have been some great pastors that I have looked at and thought, “I really like you, you just let your kids be real”. I got around a lot of healthy pastors that were leading well and I watched them with their kids and I just thought, “kids are kids and they will grow magnificent if they just have a chance to be that”.

I remember back in the day, before it was so acceptable, one of my daughters wanted to get her nose pierced and she said to me, “I won’t if you don’t want me too.” It was such a big deal at the time, now it is hardly worth mentioning, but at the time I just thought, “Don’t put me through this”. I just said to her in the end, “Do what you want to do but I am going to send all the parents to you to answer the questions!” It’s not my choice, but I love my children and if you have a problem with it, go talk to them.

What are your favourite promises from scripture for your children?Proverbs 24:3-4 (AMP)“Through skillful and godly Wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family) built, and by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation], (4) and by knowledge shall its chambers [of every area] be filled with all precious and pleasant riches”. I have that one in art up in our house; it was one of the very first scriptures God gave me when I felt in love with the word of God. I was like, “Oh my goodness, that is MY promise” and I just stood on that. It just captivated me and became my standard.

Isaiah 54:13 (AMP) has also carried me through many challenges and it says “All your [spiritual] children shall be disciples [taught by the Lord and


obedient to His will], and great shall be the peace and undisturbed composure of your children”. So when Danica looked like she was dying of an eating disorder I had this promise and you know what? All my children are taught of the Lord and obedient to His will, and great is their peace and undisturbed composure, not without a battle, but it is absolutely the truth of my life.

I also love Psalm 127:1(a) (AMP) “Except the Lord builds the house they labour in vain who build it”. I just know that God, you have to build it. I am going to do everything I can and I am going to build with the tools that you give me but ultimately you are building this house.

What does your family do for fun?We decided our house would be the funniest house, so our grandchildren will always want to come home and we did that for our children too. I think your home should be the one where your kids want to bring their friends to. I just had this

theory that you need to keep the friends close and even the enemies closer so then you can work with that. I think that if you bring them into your environment and their friends don’t flourish in that environment, then your children know and it chases them away if they are not a good fit.

One thing we do is family nights and in those family nights we often do toasts and celebrate each other but we usually play bingo and it is loud and raucous and silly. We have prizes and it is fun. We have crazy dance parties, John plays the accordion and we have these dance parties that everyone enjoys.

A fun thing that just happened earlier this year was that my children were trying to buy me a present and I usually don’t worry about it but this year I decided I wanted them to get together and write our family manifesto. So they collaborated and

created a manifesto that hangs in the entrance of our home as a piece of art and it is fantastic.

How have you instilled into your children and grandchildren a sense of purpose and identity in Christ?My daughter Ashley said this just the other day: “I can tell Gracie (her seven year old) every day how beautiful she is but until she believes it, it is just words”. We have heard that shared today (at Colour 2012) by Laura (Houston) that speaking to who young ones are, and awakening inside of them what they can’t see themselves is why God has given us parents and mentors. We have the opportunity to speak into their lives and awaken what is already there because we so often struggle with identity. I think it is important that we don’t just speak to who they are on the outside – their talents and gifts - but we speak to what is on the inside and awaken them spiritually. I believe words paint pictures; they are the most powerful form of painting a picture. It is what God did with His word and I believe as we see things and speak them into their lives, we awaken them to their destiny. John often says that we, as parents, are not called to be policemen but we are more like a coach. We are there to inspire and train them in the way they should go.

Looking back to when you were a mum with young kids, what piece of advice would you offer to yourself from what you have learnt?I am a little bit OCD. Everything in my world is about perfection. John says to me about the house, “You want it to look like a show home that no one lives in”. I wish that I had played more and cleaned less… don’t stress so much. Take the moments while they are there and don’t rush by them. See the gold right there in front of you. Take the time to invest and listen, I have never regretted the moment where I have read an extra story or where I stopped to listen but I regret where I thought my to do list was more important. The beauty is that I get to do that more with my grandchildren. Q

To find out more about Pastor Helen Burns and her resources or television show go to her website www.relatechurch.ca

“We have the opportunity to speak into their

lives and awaken what is already there”


5th Birthday

Celebration F u n d r a i s i n g d i n n e r


www.hopefoundation.org.au

Tuesday 5th June 2012


KEEPING CALM

Words: Pastor Francine HuntPhotography: Natasha Smith NSP Studio Photography

Pastor Francine Hunt is the new Director of Queensland Christian Women (ACC) and she shares about her heart for women and her life with God in this issue of Indulge.

attention in her service for God. A little lady with a big faith.

I thought you had to be a person with a special type of spiritual depth to ever know the voice of God, although as time has gone on I can identify in my life when God has gently nudged me in the direction He wanted me to go. I have since come to realise that as He nudges and I am obedient, there comes expansion in my life and with that expansion comes fulfilment.

One of those nudges came 27 years ago out of the blue. After being married for two years, our Pastor at the time asked my husband and I to be house parents in a girl’s facility run by our church for homeless teens.

I had known several years earlier that I wanted to make a difference in the lives of the disadvantaged somehow, but thought I needed to go to Bible College and become an overseas missionary to make that happen. It’s funny how God drops something into your heart and yet it doesn’t always happen at that moment in time. My life went on. I was enjoying being a young, married woman with a new home and earning good money; life was pretty good I thought, until one afternoon through a phone call from our Pastor, God revisited what he had placed on my heart years earlier.

I battled with what I would have to give up, knowing as a pastor’s daughter what this commitment would mean; sacrifice. One

I am so inspired by the life of Mother Theresa, an ordinary

woman who did extraordinary things for God. She impacted the rich and famous, the poor and destitute, never once seeking fame in her quest to make a difference in the world. She just listened to the voice of God and simply obeyed; remaining strong in her convictions despite the many challenges she was faced with on a daily basis. She got the world’s


Saturday morning I was sitting in my kitchen desperately searching scripture to find the one that I could use in my quest to find reasons why we couldn’t do this; instead I came across the verse in John 21:15-17 where Jesus says to Peter three times, “If you love me, then feed my sheep.”

When I read that, an amazing peace came over me; I knew God’s still, small voice had given me direction for the next season of my life.

I am now confident that when He drops a word into my heart, He won’t let me fall. I still get overwhelmed at times, but I have to keep my eyes on him. I love that saying ‘Keep Calm and Carry On.’ It will be okay, God has it under control.

When I was asked to be the director of Queensland Christian Women, I was confident that God was calling me. God had dropped a word into my heart the weekend before... it wasn’t specifically ‘you will lead Queensland Christian Women,’ but it was a word that was ushering me into the next phase of my life.


When God speaks, He speaks with wisdom, He gives direction, He gives assurance, and he wants to change our lives and the lives of those he brings along our path.

This years QCW’s One Voice conference is themed Shine, based on the scripture in Matthew 5:14-16 that says “You are the light of the world, a city built on a hill cannot be hidden. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under a bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven”.

I truly believe that every single one of us has a purpose to light up our world.

What I loved about Mother Theresa was that she didn’t feel the need to be anyone else than who she was created to be and she radiated Jesus, the source of her strength and passion.

We are unique and God uses us in so many different ways according to our uniqueness. I know for His purpose to be accomplished here on earth it takes ordinary, everyday people to say yes to that still, small voice.

Mother Theresa said “I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, sending a love letter to the world”. Its not about about being perfect, or fitting the criteria. It’s about me being me and realising I have a gift within me that God wants me to share to show His love. Q

To find out more abou the QCW One Voice Shine Conference being held in May go to www.onevoiceconference.info/


w: www.nspstudio.com.aub: http://blog.nspstudio.com.aum: 0431882123


POWERINPRAISE

Words: Nicky HurlePhotography: Natasha Smith NSP Studio Photography

is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Philippians 4:11-12) He exhorts us in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 to “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” What does it mean to be content? How do we rejoice always? How is it remotely possible to be thankful in all circumstances?

In my opinion, a lot of people in Australia have forgotten what gratitude is, and for whom the concept of thankfulness seems to be a foreign idea. If you are reading this, an eMagazine article, then you are rich! You have access to a computer and you have eyes that can see, as well as the ability to read, understand and process. Rich indeed! Do you have a roof over your head? More than one set of clothes? Do you have a car, appliances, money in the bank? Are you in a safe, for the most part, law-abiding country, with freedom of speech and expression? If you answered yes, then you are wealthier than 80 per cent of the world’s population (World Bank, 2008). Luke 12:48b states; “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Do you realise how much you have? Have you ever considered your purpose in this world and why you have been born into this time, place and circumstance?

One of the reasons why we don’t exercise our gratitude more often is because most of us do not really

One of my favourite verses in the Bible is 2 Corinthians 4:8-

9, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” Paul was a very wise and learned man, a person of passion and devotion, persistence and faith. He said, “I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it


know what it is to be hard-pressed, perplexed, persecuted or struck down. Regular readers of this magazine will have been exposed to some of the challenging life stories that contributors have experienced, as well as some of the very vital ministries that are undertaken in the name of the Lord to care for less fortunate individuals in situations of dire need and distress.

Where am I heading in this article? What is it that I want to get across? Be thankful!

Step back from the daily grind and the mundane routine of everyday and have a look at what you have.

“Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God hath done!

Count your blessings, name them one by one. And it will surprise you, what the Lord hath done.”

(Lyrics by Johnson Oatman, Jr. 1856-1922).

Name them one by one: the people, the circumstances, the joys, the lows, the challenges, the riches, the needs, the losses... thank God for each one. Yes, even the things that you think you can’t; that feel strange to thank God for; that seem the antithesis of gratitude. Thank God for the difficult child, the bad back, the empty bank account, the unexpected bill, the traffic jam, the impossible co-worker, the interfering mother-in-law, the indifferent husband, the looming deadline, the tiredness, the headache, the rain, each breath!

When I realised that God wanted me to thank him for our infertility, I was a tad taken aback, but he was asking that I simply give thanks in all circumstances. It wasn’t until I stepped back and thanked him that the true healing began. What gave me special perspective was the loan of a book by a friend, just after yet another extremely painful Mother’s Day. The book was by a man called Merlin Carouthers and was called Prison to Praise. It, along with the follow ups Power in Praise and Answers to Praise, made a profound difference in my life and enabled me to embrace our inability to have a child in a whole new way. What had previously been an almost impossible burden, a weeping sore, began to scab over and heal until it became a scar; still there, still sensitive to the touch, but nevertheless healed and whole and no longer heavy. Although written in the 70’s,

these books are so relevant today and are full of hope and forgiveness and gratitude. If we are truly to give thanks in all circumstances and be content whatever our situation, then we need all the help we can get.

We often find it easy to give thanks for the good stuff, the successes and joys, but in giving thanks for the hard stuff, the painful situations and the impossible circumstances, we release ourselves from bitterness, anxiety, unforgiveness and complaint. We also allow God to minister into ourselves, our circumstances and others in our sphere of influence. To do this we need persistence... to plug away even when we don’t feel like it, to continue to praise Him in the midst of our pain and depression, to deny Satan a foothold and to allow God to make his home in us. We can do this if we believe without doubt the scripture that says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Rom 8:28) If God works in all things for our good, then surely we can thank him in all things knowing that he has our best interests at heart.

I encourage you today to take a look at your life and circumstances and begin to bring your gratitude and praise as a sweet smelling offering before the Lord. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Phil 4:6) Let me know how it goes!

Nicky is a talented and passionate educator who has taught in both Primary and Secondary school in a career that is a vocational calling. She has a Biblical Diploma and a recently completed Masters in Gifted Education. Her involvement with young people spans more than twenty years in various roles including youth leader and

mentor. Nicky is currently a House Parent at the Australian Institute of Sport in Canberra where, with her husband David, she is responsible for looking after the welfare of residential athletes. She is presently writing her first novel and loves reading, movies and music.


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The White Butterfly Project

exists to support, strengthen

and encourage individuals

and families who have

experienced loss during

pregnancy and infancy.

MARKET SQUARE - LAKESIDE, VARSITY LAKES

The annual White Butterfly Reflection Service

acknowledges the loss of children during

pregnancy and infancy.

In a supportive, creative, & grace-based

atmosphere it presents an opportunity to find

hope & new perspective, and a sense of peace

amidst the pain of loss.

www.whitebutterflyproject.org

You don’t have to do this journey alone...

white butterfly project

Saturday 12 May 2012 - 7am

REFLECTION SERVICE


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The Australian Christian Lobby Queensland Conference 2012 will present a diverse range of speakers who all have a common focus on God’s imperative to His people to seek the welfare of the City where He has placed us. Hear from Brigadier Jim Wallace, Loree Rudd, Hetty Johnson and QLD MPs with opportunity to view the renowned documentary Nefarious: Merchant of Souls. Be educated, challenged, inspired. $50 early bird registration until 30th June. QB Centre, 53 Prospect Road, Gaythorne information or registration Wendy Francis [email protected] 0411 431 141 www.acl.org.au

SEEK THE

PEACE

OF THE CITY28TH JULY 2012

PROSPERITYAND

An Evening of Connections Tuesday 22 May 2012Come and enjoy a great girls night out at our upcoming Evening of Connections on 22 May at Nexus Church, Everton Park from 7-9pm. With six wonderful electives to choose from, and a delicious supper it is sure to be a fun night for you and your friends for only $5. For more information go to the Nexus website at www.nexuschurch.com.au or call Kate on 3353 1377

Saying ‘Thank you’ is good for your health and wellbeing!The National Day of Thanksgiving is on Saturday 26th May when churches and community groups across Australia will host events to say ‘thank you’ to people who make a difference in the local community.The focus of the National Day of Thanksgiving 2012 is... People who work in Local Government and Chaplains who serve the community. Go to www.thanksgiving.org.au to find out more.

Markets of Hope Saturday 30 June 2012St Bartholomew’s Church Hall1349 Logan Road, Mt GravattA free community event that supports the Hope Foundation in their work to bring hope, helpand healing to the hurting. Based in Brisbane, Hope Foundation supports primarily women in the areas of addiction and those caught in the sex industry - both those involved and their loved ones.Contact [email protected] 0433170263

Saturday 31 March and

Saturday 30 June 2012

2pm–6pmSt Bartholomew’s Church Hall1349 Logan Road, Mt Gravatt

A community event to support Hope Foundation and local artisans. Free entry.

Details: [email protected] or call 0433 170 263

hopefoundation.org.au

µ home-made µ hand-made µ fair trade µ live local music


SOUL


Words: Charissa SteffensPhotography: Natasha Smith NSP Studio Photography

Out of the

Shadows

AuthorJulie Cave


Thomas Whitfield climbed out of the Lincoln Towncar and stood in the snappy, early morning

fall air, breathing deeply. The temperature had fallen a few more degrees overnight, signaling that winter was truly on its way. Thomas glanced up and down the wide street. There was nobody around at this early hour, and he took a moment to drink in the sights of his beloved city. The graceful willows, their branches arching over the street, were turning gold and red and, in the gentle yellow morning light, threw off highlights like burnished copper. This street was like many others in the center of DC — wide and tree-lined, with magnificent government buildings standing one after the other. That was another thing that Thomas found so delicious about this city — so much of it hinted at the enormous wealth and prosperity of the country, and yet only a few streets behind these world-famous landmarks, the seedier side of American poverty flourished. It was a city of contradictions, Thomas thought. His gaze fell finally to the building right in front of him — the main complex of the Smithsonian Institution. Enormous stone pillars flanked the entryway into a marble lobby, and behind that were laid out the evidence of mankind’s brilliance. Everything about the institution was testament to the scientific and anthropological advances of man over the pages of history — the inventions, the discoveries, the deductions, the sheer radiance of a human being’s intelligence at its finest. Thomas Whitfield had always been immensely proud of this place, and everything it showcased. He had boasted about it, defended it, nourished it, and protected it, the way a proud father would his prodigious child. He was the secretary of the Smithsonian, after all, and he felt a strange kind of paternal relationship with the buildings and their contents. He stood for a moment longer, a slender whippet of a man dressed immaculately, with highly polished shoes gleaming, thinning dark hair cut short, and a gray cashmere scarf to ward off the cold. Then he purposefully strode down the path and into the main building, scarf fluttering behind him. To the malevolent eyes watching him through high-powered binoculars down the street in a non-descript Chevy, he presented a painfully easy target.

Chapter One [extract] Deadly Disclosures

Julie Cave has always loved books. She credits her parents for instilling within her a passion

for reading and writing that has never left her. Julie shares with us her journey from reading Enid Blyton’s The Famous Five (one of my favourites too!) to becoming the international author of the Dinah Harris Mystery Trilogy.

Julie’s love for Christ and fiction have led her to create an intriguing series that delves into confronting issues and weighs them in the light of Christian Apologetics. In this issue of Indulge, Julie shares about her writing journey, being a mother, and how to balance life to embrace all of your passions.

Can you tell us a bit about your background?I grew up in a Christian family. My dad was an Anglican Minister, for a time while I was young, so I grew up knowing everything about Christianity, but I was a fairly strong willed child and when I moved down to Brisbane to attend university I turned my back on Christianity. I thought of it (Christianity) as a whole lot of rules and regulations that my parents were imposing on me to stop me from having fun.

I came to university and did my own thing. I got into the partying and drinking culture and I meet my husband, Terry, during that time. He was not a Christian, and even though I thought at the time I probably shouldn’t marry someone who is not a Christian, we did end up marrying and although it began well, the marriage deteriorated quickly. I was married at 21 and had just graduated from university, so we were starting out our careers and by the time I was 24 we had separated and agreed to get a divorce and I started to think to myself, I am not doing a great job of running my own life, perhaps I need to think about God again. I knew in the depths of my heart that His way was best and my way of living was damaging.

We had a friend who suggested we do a bible study, Terry knew nothing about Christianity - he had never been interested in Christianity


but he too was feeling like he was doing a really bad job of his life. So we did a bible study with this long time friend and I thought to myself that this was my one chance to either turn my back and walk away from Christianity forever or totally commit to it. So we just fired every question under the sun at our friend. I had a Science degree and at university I had basically been taught there was no need for God anymore. Science had trumped everything that God had said, so I asked lots of questions like, “hasn’t science proved this… and hasn’t science proved that?” Interestingly, our friend had every answer and because he did such a great job of defending Christianity we actually became Christians.

If you had a passion for writing from such a young age why did you not study Arts at university, why health science?I actually didn’t think I could create a career in writing. I know in Australia it is a small industry and quite difficult, so for practicality sake I chose another path and just continued to write as a hobby.

When I became a Christian and had my kids I began to think more about it. I wasn’t overly interested in my career and all its demands so the idea of serving God with my writing and having it as something to do while my kids were young was appealing.

When I started to research writing and publishing, I could see that in America there was a good market for that. There wasn’t much here but in America the market is much bigger and there are a lot more publishers willing to take a risk over there.

You have completed a trilogy. Did you always intend to write a trilogy? No, I just thought I would write a book and see how I would go; it wasn’t until the publisher came back to me and they said that they would like to expand it into a series of trilogy. So I then just approached the next two with the same main character and format.

This trilogy was based in America, why did you choose to have your plot line there? I started to write in 2007 and any Christian book I had ever read had come out of America and to be honest I had no idea that there were any Christian


publishing houses in Australia. I didn’t know that there was any Christian market, I just thought, “Obviously America is where I need to go to get published”, so I thought I am just going to have to make a sacrifice to be published and although I would love to set a book in Australia, I thought that that would probably not happen until I become big enough for the American market to forgive that. So to satisfy my Australian-ness I have placed a couple of Australian Characters in the books but for now that is all I can do.

Have you been to the states and visited the areas you write about?I have now. When I wrote Deadly Disclosures I hadn’t. I actually Googled Washington D.C. and it brought up all these images of the city, so I just looked at them and pretended I was there and described what I saw. I also read a lot of books set in Washington, like David Baldacci and John Grisham and I get in my mind a picture of what it might be like.

How difficult was it to secure a publisher with your first book?I had always written books that weren’t Christian at all, so I thought I would write a Christian book and the friend who had lead us through the bible study was reading it as I wrote it and he said, “This is actually pretty good, I think you should think about sending it over to America and seeing what they think of it”. So I started researching publishers (in the USA) and that is one of the most important things is to find a publisher that fits what you are trying to do. So I found a publisher that had never been shy of controversy and in particular issues that are important in our culture and our generation like the rise of Atheism, domestic violence, euthanasia, the value of life and those sorts of issues. They are always massive issues, especially in America; there is lots of dialogue about those areas more so than here.

So I sent a first chapter and a synopsis over to that publisher, they read it and replied saying that they were interested but would not guarantee anything, just to keep sending it through as I wrote. So I finished that book about a month before I had Jasmine and I sent it over to them and they said they liked it and would publish it and offered me a three-book contract.

Your bio states that your favorite authors growing up were Enid Blyton and CS Lewis. What did you receive from both of these authors?Enid Blyton fostered the love of a mystery. I loved The Famous Five and The Secret Seven and the solving of the mystery. CS Lewis showed me how you can incorporate Christianity within fiction. I didn’t realize it at the time, I just loved the story and the fantasy of it but as I grew older I realized what he had done and how he had done that so successfully.

How do you sustain writing a novel?I write about things I am really passionate about and I really love my main character and really fleshing her out. Throwing up challenges in her life and getting her over those challenges and making her a real person. Then the issues that I write about I am very interested in so I do a lot of research about them and I get quite fired up about them and I put that in the book.

Writing is like therapy to me - it is calming and fun. I just love it, and it is never a chore.

What advice would you give to a beginning writer wishing to be published?I can only speak about the American market but be persistent and keep going despite the rejections, it is not uncommon, just keep going. The other area that is important is to build a profile for yourself.


Publishers, particularly in America, want to know how you can sell your book. It is actually less about your writing and more about how you can reach your potential audience, so I would encourage any potential writer to get on the social network sites, get a blog and just start building a fan base. The publishers are more interested in you if they think that there is already an established group who will be interested in the book.

How important is it to spend time reading with your children? I think it is very important. My parents were avid readers and I grew up with a passion for reading. I read to my children as soon as they were born. My daughter Jasmine loves books. We sometime will just sit down with toys and encourage her imagination to flourish.

How do you balance your career and your family?I spend all of my day being a mum and wife and then by 7.30pm when the kids are in bed that is when I start working on my writing. I usually spend a couple of hours a night on that.

What is one tip that could really help another mother in this journey?It is important to prioritise the family. It is easy to get caught up in the work and think “I must get this done”, so I think it is important to remember that my kids need me now in this young stage of life and I will have more time in the future to devote to work. Live in the moment and be patient with where you are at right now. Priortising people over work is important. Q

To find out more about Julie and the Dinah Harris Mystery Series visit her website www.juliecave.com/


REDEEMING LOVEby Francine Rivers, Tyndale House Publishers

The story of Hosea is one of the most marvellous stories of sacrifice and forgiveness in the Bible. God commands Hosea to marry a prostitute called Gomez who will bring him much pain and distress

as she continues to follow the ways of her promiscuous past. Each time she leaves Hosea, he receives her back with open arms, without condemnation, just as the Lord reconciles us to Himself when we stray from His presence and love.

Francine Rivers has created an awesome story with unforgettable characters based on the premise of Hosea, called “Redeeming Love”. A brilliant Christian writer, Rivers gently introduces the person of Angel, mistreated and abused in childhood, falling almost naturally into the oldest profession in the world as a young woman. But when Angel meets Michael, her world is never the same again.

Michael is unlike any man she has ever met, not so concerned with his own needs, but keener to introduce her to the one who can heal her wounds and erase her past, and present her as a new creation before the King of the universe. As he struggles with his own carnal desires, we see the love of the Father in his gentle pursuit of a lost and lonely young woman, afraid of her own feelings and too hopeless to see that his commitment to her is eternal.

This book is a must read for those who enjoy a love story, but it is so much more than that. You come away from the novel feeling as if it is you who has been pursued, loved and brought into a new relationship with the one who died for our benefit. Michael and Angel allow us to see the outworking of the story of Hosea in a real and practical world, from which the lessons and essence can be applied to our own situation and circumstance. You won’t be able to put it down!Purchase through www.fictionfixation.com

MISS FISCHER MURDERS by Kerry Greenwood, Allen & Unwin

Kerry Greenwood is the Australian author of the Phryne Fisher novels of which there are currently 18 books. Premiering on ABC1 as a series, these stories are a jolly good read

and true to the style and character of the 1920’s setting. I thoroughly recommend that you take some time out to get to know the central character through the books as well as the series.

Set in Melbourne, the stories involving Phryne Fisher are just delightful to read. After being brought up in poverty, Phyrne’s father inherits an estate in the UK, to which the family relocates. At the behest of a family friend, Phryne returns to Melbourne to look into the welfare of the friend’s daughter, whom they suspect is in an abusive relationship.

Herewith begin the adventures of Miss Fisher as she indulges herself in mysteries and criminal cases, both dangerous and mundane in the Melbourne of the 1920s. Aided by her loyal assistant Dot, she dresses with flair and panache whilst speeding around the streets in her red Hispano-Suiza sports car, often backed up by two taxi drivers who do contract work for her on the side.

With a weakness for lovely young men, Phryne indulges her passions regularly, but not with vulgarity, remaining true to her irresistible style and flair. Danger, excitement and love are her vices but she uses her skills as a pilot, driver and intelligent observer to render the criminal element helpless and save the day! Light, easy to read and quaint in their patois, these novels will guarantee you hours of heady fun.

Purchase through www.fictionfixation.com

Book Reviews by Nicky Hurle


orgeousenerousrateful

Words: Charissa SteffensPhotography: Natasha Smith NSP Studio Photography

GGGIt really is the simple things in life that make all

the difference. Just ask the girls of the Gorgeous Generous Grateful group who spent the past year journaling and sharing their most grateful moments with one another. The group began after hearing Hailey Bartholomew (365 Grateful) share her story of taking a Polaroid a day of something she was grateful for in an effort to combat depression. Group founders Kate Bishop and Jane Averill decided to take this idea and establish a group where women could “…have the discipline to change their attitude by being grateful and thankful for everything that they do have, whether small or big.” Kate explained.

Each member of the group was asked to begin a journal of their journey of gratefulness in whatever form they felt was right for them, and for as many women as were in the room, there were a number of different outworkings of that expression of gratefulness.

Suki and her family created a ‘Wall of Grateful’ on one of the walls in her dining room. She explained, “Given the layout of our house, the dining room is the heart of our home and our wall has since become a beautiful visual record of our year and what is important to our family.” Suki noticed a shift occurring in her children as the project progressed.

“It was delightful to see the children realise that things they had never given a second thought about were now cause for gratitude and we found ourselves looking for things for which we could be thankful.”

Meryl had been given a journal for her birthday and she shared how grateful she was that she could even see to write in the journal having been told she would be blind by this stage of her life. “The little things mean a lot to me,” she shared. “There have been many gifts back from God along the way and even though times can be really tough and it can be a struggle to find something to be grateful for, my faith and the cross bring me peace and I am always grateful for that.”

As an avid photographer and nature lover, Merrilyn decided to combine these two loves and develop a range of cards as a way to express her gratitude to those around her. “We all have something to be thankful for and I wanted my friends to know that they had made a difference in my life.” Merrilyn explains how her idea grew like a “seed being planted” and her collection grew from four to forty designs over the year.

Emma had a difficult childhood. The loss of her mother and suffering from a chronic illness had left her less than ‘cheerful’ about life and she reveals; “I needed to find something that I was grateful for or I would lose myself and not come back.” Emma attributes the discipline of daily looking for grateful moments, plus the friendships within the group, to the dramatic improvement of her health. “I am sure it is no coincidence that my health began to improve as I became more positive and chose to find something to be grateful for even on the days when it was hard.” she shares.

Mother and daughter, Laura and Sharon, joined the group to build friendships and found it a ‘delightful side benefit’ to be looking for grateful moments each day. While Laura created a calendar with a photo of each grateful moment, Sharon kept a diary full of entries, pictures and mementos from her year. One of her favourites was a close friends “Where’s Wally?” party, where everyone dressed in red and white and flooded the venue in a sea of stripes.



Sharon’s experience grew to incorporate a diary for her son and a similar project at the Girl’s Brigade she volunteers with. “We have been amazed by the responses from the girls,” she shares. “They first began with the big things in life, but now they are grateful even for the small.”

Rachel, Kate’s teenage daughter, gathered together a group of friends and they spent an afternoon one weekend creating a storyboard on canvas of all the things she loves and is grateful for in her life. “They had a great time,” shares Kate. “And Rachel’s board hangs on her wall as a constant reminder of what it means to be grateful.”

Kate enjoys journaling and loves to express herself with words. “I brought a canvas and just began to put words down on the canvas with stamps. Words that express what I am grateful for…. I began when my husband and I married and I have just added my favourite memories since then.” Her children have also joined in and added their favourite items to Kate’s canvas.

While each agrees that some days there is little to feel grateful for, the discipline of still looking is life changing. This journey has not only created a fresh and rewarding attitude in each one of these women, but they have all been delighted to see the flow-on effect in those close to them. That has brought them pure joy and happiness.

c

start Your ownGGG Group

&


Being a‘GoodEnough’Mum

Words: Candice SchmidtPhotography: Natasha Smith NSP Studio Photography

I have to confess, I have a perfectionist streak. I

know I am not perfect and yet subconsciously the desire is still there – to be a perfect mum, wife, friend, who says and does the right thing, always has a neat and tidy house, well behaved kids and is fit, healthy and gorgeous! While it would be great to have superwoman powers to be a high achiever who always does things

perfectly, I would most likely drive myself and others around me crazy!

The problem with “Perfect”Perfectionists work really hard and have high expectations of themselves and others. Blame, guilt, shame, anxiety, frustration, depression and feeling unlovable are some of the emotions felt when they or others invariably fall short of their high expectations. Fear that your imperfections will damage your child and the negative emotions you feel can hinder you from being the mum you need to be.

“There is no way to be a perfect mother,

and a million ways to be a good one” - Jill Churchill

The good news is you do not need to be perfect, just good enough! We can be comfortable with where we are on the way to where we want to be.

A good enough mum prioritises what is importantOur time spent doing one thing means time not spent on something else. A messy home may be a sign of being a “good enough” mum because you chose to spend time with your baby. Rather than busying yourself with a multitude of tasks you chose to slow down and enjoy your little one - building connection and relationship. That connection is of far more value than a clean house!


Every day in life we make choices. We need a grid of priorities to run our decisions through to help us to make good choices to spend our time, treasures and talents wisely. Saying yes to something that God has not graced us for, costs us time away from something of greater value.

A good enough mum pursues connection with their children Our core desire is for intimacy, to be connected in a meaningful way to other human beings. It is from these intimate connections and relationships that we draw strength and enjoy life.

It is important to develop a strong and unconditional relationship with our child. No matter how they behave, they need to know that we care about and value them. Nothing they do can separate them from your love. Of course we set limits, say “No!” when necessary and bring appropriate consequences to teach responsibility and right behaviour, but by valuing relationship and pursuing their heart, correcting behaviour is much easier.

A good enough mum admits mistakesI make mistakes! I say and do wrong things, and so do you. God still loves and forgives me so can I forgive myself and others. Mistakes are simply opportunities to learn. Our kids are watching us. When you do something wrong: - admit it: “When I …, I was wrong because …” - apologise and seek to reconcile: “I am sorry, please can you forgive me…?” - change your behaviour. You are teaching your child how to resolve conflicts, practice forgiveness and reconcile broken relationships.

If you do something wrong, own it. Don’t deny what you did or blame others. If mum takes responsibility for her words, tone and actions, the child learns to take responsibility for their behaviour. This helps our children to learn good boundaries by correctly owning their part in the conflict but not taking responsibility for the fault of another.

A good enough mum fills her child’s love tank. When a child’s emotional needs are met, their tank is full. When they are scared or frustrated, a parent can fill up the tank by providing more closeness and attention. A child with a constantly empty tank may be needy and demanding, or have challenging behaviour. They may reject you and favour their friends who meet those needs for connection. Or worse they numb the pain through risky behaviour. A child with a full tank has a buffer with emotional resources to cope with challenges they may face in an imperfect world. Quality TimeOur kids need us to be physically and emotionally present. Make time for fun and connection together. Eat meals together, talk, listen, make memories. Be interested in what they are interested in.Affection and Physical touchWarmth and cuddles, tickles, wrestling or back rubs can soothe the soul and build connection. Acts of Service Do random acts of kindness for your kids. Words of Encouragement Every child needs you to be their biggest fan. Speak life giving words that communicate that you believe and see the best in your child.Gifts Give small treats as a surprise to show you care.Delight A smile or even a sparkle in your eye can show that you are happy they are around.


A good enough mum takes care of herself“When we are taking care of ourselves, we are bringing our best.” Being a martyr, serving your family at the expense of our spirit, soul or body is unwise. We need to take care of ourselves so we can bring our best. Taking time for health and exercise, to get enough sleep, to have time with your husband or girl friend and with God will give you strength for the journey.

Sometimes parenting our children triggers issues from our past. If you are struggling emotionally with depression, anxiety, stress, anger etc. then find someone caring to speak to. This is especially true if you were not mothered in a healthy way and may have had needs that went unmet – connect with a therapist, another mum, an older woman or a pastoral care person. You can be emotionally healthy and happy and it will positively affect your ability to parent your children and build meaningful connections.

Mothers through their love and care make us feel wanted, which instills feelings of worth and confidence in relationships. I want my kids to look back one day and say, “My mum wasn’t perfect, but she was good enough. I felt loved, nurtured and protected. We learnt to forgive quickly and to be responsible for our actions. I have good memories of fun times and family traditions. Mum allowed us to explore and become independent while supporting, helping and encouraging us. We felt welcome to go to her when we had a need or wanted comfort.” Then I would feel I was the perfect mum! d

Candice desires to see people thrive in every area of life. She has been married for 16 years to a Paediatrician and they have lived in South Africa, New Zealand and Canada but have called the Gold Coast, Australia home for the past 5 years. They have four children

between the ages of 5 and 13. Her passion is to “Live well, laugh often, love much”. She has a Degree in Psychology and a Diploma in Counselling. She loves to help people live to their full God-given potential spirit, soul and body. She enjoys counselling and watching God bring healing and restoration. She is a trained facilitator of 'Toolbox Parenting' which offers families hot tips on parenting well.


BODY

Celebrating Mum


Mum’s hold a special place in our hearts. They are beautiful, strong and striking.

Celebrate Mother’s Day this year in a breathtaking outfit that will make you shine.

Styling, Hair & Make-up: Tanya EpisPhotography: Natasha Smith NSP Studio PhotographyModels: Lea Pettett & LInda RobinsonClothing: Queenspark Robina Town CentreAccessories: Esteem Jewellery

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1. Lady Suit Dress $179.95 2. Moulin Rouge Ruffle Dress $249.00 3. Stripe Gather Dress $149.954. White Pants with Black Top $129.95 each5. Snake Ruched Dress $199.956. Side Ruched Dress (Navy) $249.957. Bateau Neck Crochet Dress $249.9588. Little Cream Dress $229.95 & Ostrich Fur Wrap $169.95www.queenspark.com.au

8


April Walker

The power of a transformed life is in the ripple effect that flows out from it. When we truly collide with Christ’s love, the change that takes place has the ability to revolutionise our world.

This is what happened to April Walker, a wife and mother of five, whose life was disintegrating due to drugs, alcohol and domestic violence. After witnessing her husband beat one of her sons, she could no longer bear the life they were living and she knew something had to change. That was when April found her way to a church in Byron Bay and gave her life to Christ.

In the years that followed, the effects of April’s transformation rippled throughout her family. In 2009, the whole nation became witness to this when her son Stan won Australia over in the final series of Australian Idol.

April shakes her head as she sits and chats with us about her journey. She is now a strong woman with a clear vision and she is excited about her own dreams being fulfilled in a new fashion business venture. Here is the transformed life of April Walker…

Words: Charissa SteffensPhotography: Natasha Smith NSP Studio PhotographyHair & Make-up: Tanya Epis

April and her son Stan - winner of Australian Idol 2009 (Courtesy of April Walker)54 | www.indulgemagazine.com.au

A Transformed Life


You have had a difficult life… Can you tell us about that?Our life was pretty bad. If you have seen the movie Once Were Warriors, our life was like that. My husband wasn’t really a father or a husband and I really brought my kids up by myself until we became Christians.

I was sick of being physically abused, and I didn’t realise my husband was doing the same to the kids because he did it behind my back and they never said anything. They actually have the most amazing relationship now with their father, which is all because of God, but before that Ross would hit the kids and myself a lot. In 1995 I was so sick of the lies and the beatings, I just thought this needed to change. I didn’t want my sons to be near Ross and so we split the family up and tried to escape but Ross just followed us and it was difficult to get away. I was too scared and struggled with low self-esteem.

How did you become a Christian?I went to a C3 church in Byron. I was a little freaked out by it, but I wanted something different and so I went. The preacher was preaching about my life – about violence and all the difficulties. It was just amazing and so I went up at the end of the service and gave my life to Jesus.

I asked Ross to come with me but he didn’t want to. When I came home he asked, “How was it?” and I said, “You will have to come for yourself and see”. So he started coming along. He even got baptized but he was still smoking dope and about a year later

he gave me another beating. So I told my pastor I wanted to leave him. I had the strength now. I had God and even though I was still doing some wrong things too, God just knew and he gave me the strength. So we separated. My pastor asked me to go to marriage counseling but I said “no”. I really didn’t care anymore. I wasn’t in love with him and I didn’t want him back.

The pastor was quite insistent that we go to counseling but I still didn’t want to reconcile. About eight and a half months passed and the pastor asked me to take Ross back. He said he had changed but I didn’t want to, I just didn’t love him. I knew I wanted more; I believed I deserved better and God wanted better for me.

Then one day Ross and the people he was staying with came around and asked me to take him back. First I said no but then as the time went on they asked me one more time and I just looked at him and said “OK”… Ross just looked at me in shock and grabbed his bags and grabbed me and we hopped in the car together. It was the first real God moment I had where I just felt peace about it and I felt it was right. It changed my whole life that moment; it made me realise how real God was that he had changed my mind and my heart in a second. We went home and we cuddled and talked - we had never really talked like that. It was the freakiest moment of my life. I had been praying that God would change me and make me stronger but I never expected that. It took the boys awhile to come to terms with it and understand that it was a God thing and to trust Ross again, but now they have a great relationship with each other.


Having lived with domestic violence, what would you say to another woman who may be trapped in that situation?I had a low self-esteem and it took me years to get out of it and I had to find God to give me the strength to get out of it. I am a strong woman normally, but not to my husband. I would encourage any other woman to really seek help and to get out of the situation. God does not want us to be in a violent relationship. It took us separating for God to change Ross and do what he needed to do in both of us to bring us back together.

After you had this reconciliation, you then discovered that Stan had been abused. How did that affect the family?Yes, Stan told us that he was abused by a relative when he was nine years old and we were just blown away by that. Stan has fully taken it to God and dealt with it now. It was the only way that he could deal with it; no counselor could help him at the time. That just wasn’t doing anything to help him back then.

After that as a family we just pushed in together more. We started praying together and we were just asking God to use our family as a force for God’s Kingdom; as people come across us that we would be a witness to them and be a blessing and that people would see that there is something in us that they want. Then in 2009 Stan decided to enter Australian Idol.

What led Stan to try out for Australian Idol?I had told him to try out the year before but he wasn’t ready. He was singing in church and did a few gigs around the place but not a lot so when he was accepted into Idol he was really thrown in the deep end.

Can you tell us a little about Stan’s time at Australian Idol?I remember he rang me up when he was going for the top 24 and he said, “Oh mum, I was really confident before but now I am not” and I said, “Oh, Why?” and he said, “Delta Goodrem was hard”. I said, “Stan, you just have to trust God. Whatever happens you just have to praise God. If you get in then it is His will and you praise God and if you don’t, you still praise God! God doesn’t want you to go through all that if you can’t handle it. You are strong and I believe that if you get in this then God is going to take you all the way!” I was a bit shocked that I said that too him but I just felt it was God. I just knew he would influence those around him in this journey and he did. He is a


good friend with many of those people still.

Has his success affected the relationships in the family?He still has to clean up after himself when he is home and pitch in. He is based in Sydney now and is filming a movie in New Zealand at the moment but when he is home he has to fit in with everyone. We try and see each other often; he misses all of us, and he misses all of the extended family when he is away.

As a parent of a famous ‘child’ what piece of advice would you offer another mother who could find their child launched into the spotlight?Stay in the business with them. Watch out for them. Stan’s manager is awesome but you still need to be there for them and look after them. I am fully involved in Stan’s business and making sure he is being looked after and he is looking after himself too. The money doesn’t mean that much to Stan - he is a survivor but he still needs to be a good steward with his money. God wants us to manage our money well.

Has it been hard for Stan to maintain his Christian beliefs in the industry he is in?Of course. It is a tough industry and he is challenged every day by all sorts of things but I constantly remind him to take the pressures and temptations to God. I remind him constantly that God put him where he is for a reason and he can easily take him out of it. So I remind him he still needs to be praising God everyday and he does. He tries to find a little quiet place and prays. He is a good boy and listens. I still have to keep an eye out for him - he doesn’t have a wife yet so I still have to watch over him.

You have just launched your own handbag label. Why have you chosen to go into fashion accessories?I love handbags and someone came up to me and

said, “You have great taste in bags, why don’t you design your own?” I thought that was a great idea and Stan was going to Hong Kong so he asked me if I wanted to come along and so I went and checked out some manufacturing contacts. I ended up going to China eventually and checked out the factory. I wanted to make sure they were legitimate factories, not just sweat shops and then it went from there.

I designed each of the bags. I love chunky and fun designs. I have sixty of each design and we have a range of colours in some designs. We just had a launch in Melbourne recently at a nice place at Docklands. Stan flew back for it and sang some songs with his brother. It was great. I was so happy with how it all went.

I would like to expand into shoes and clothes in the future, but for now we have the bags which can be purchased through the website. I love fashion and I want my label, ‘A.Walker’, to become a household name. After that I have another project in mind. I have lots of dreams for the future. Q

To view April’s range of handbags go towww.awalker.com.au/home


How to Have the Energy of an Energiser Bunny

Words: Dr Cris BeerPhotography: istockphoto

The festivities of the Easter are over and we have all indulged in way too much chocolate. Although many of us have the role of hiding chocolate delights for our little ones, most of us can’t claim to have the energy of an energiser bunny! So what’s the key to having loads of energy to live life with a bounce in our step? That’s what we’ll explore below. I’m sure you’ll discover with fascination, like I did when I studied this, that the secret to having energy is just plain common sense. Or is it? As a philosopher once put it, “Common sense is not so common.” This is where reading the tips below and applying them in your life will set you ahead of the status quo in terms of good health.

Mental FatigueIt has been quoted that 75-90 per cent of the ailments that I would see in my medical practice are related to mental fatigue1. This is a condition of emotional and mental exhaustion. We live in a fast-paced society with seemingly endless tasks to complete. Some of the symptoms that indicate mental fatigue include irritability, being ‘touchy’, feeling impatient, crying easily, worrying about trivial things, insomnia or difficulty falling asleep, lack of concentration, and inability to relax. Mental fatigue can also be associated with a range of physical body dysfunctions including abdominal pains, low libido, headaches, abdominal weight gain, ankle swelling, and skin rashes. Fundamentally, mental fatigue is a sign of stress.

StressThe term stress seems to be a catch-all phrase for most ailments and is


“...a large proportion of headaches are caused by dehydration.”

almost regarded as something that is in the ‘too-hard basket’ to deal with. This is somewhat true. Stress is difficult to deal with, but left unchecked will leave a trail of devastation in our lives. Too often I see serious health consequences as well as relationship breakdowns as a result of stress.

For example, take Lucy*, a patient of mine. Lucy presented initially with overwhelming fatigue, abdominal bloating and pains, inability to loose weight, low libido, anxiety, occasional headaches, and difficulty falling pregnant. After a thorough discussion with her it was apparent that she was under considerable stress at work and had been for many years. After carefully ruling out any other serious medical cause, I prescribed her 30 minutes per day of relaxation. For her, that meant going for a walk. She also saw a psychologist to learn how to deal with stress more effectively including the very difficult approach of learning to delegate and say no.

After several weeks she found that her energy levels had improved, she felt more comfortable in her clothes without a bloated abdomen, and had lost a couple of kilograms. She also noticed that her anxiety was lessening and she seemed to be able to deal with life’s challenges. This was just from making some small alterations in her lifestyle. As she began to feel better, Lucy began to eat more nutritious food instead of looking for the next ‘pick-me-up’ in the form of caffeine and chocolate. She also began to sleep more soundly. I am very happy to say that Lucy is now excitedly pregnant in her second trimester. Whilst Lucy’s story is favourable one, too often people’s life stories do not go so smoothly. For the most part, life is all about learning to manage challenges in the best way that we can. Aside from 30 minutes of relaxation per day, in whatever form that takes for you, there are several other things we can implement in our lives to help deal with the effects of stress on our mind and body.

SleepIn 1960 the average amount of sleep per night was nine hours. Today it is just six hours2. Studies have repeatedly shown that the optimum amount of sleep for adults is 7-9 hours; with the most restorative hours of sleep being those before midnight2. In teaching a child to prepare for sleep, psychologists

tell us we need to teach them to wind-down. This is a process of winding down the nervous system by avoiding stimulation one hour before bed.

This process isn’t something we grow out of. Let’s try to avoid sitting in front of the TV, iphone or computer just before bed. Let’s aim to dim the lights, perhaps have a warm shower or bath, read a book, and avoid thinking about work. We all want our children to be ‘Happy Little Vegemites’ in the morning, but wouldn’t it be nice if we were too?

Hydration It has been postulated that a large proportion of headaches are caused by dehydration3. It is thought that the same is true of fatigue. Our bodies are made of two-thirds water, especially our brain4. Imagine that our brains without water resemble a handful of sultanas instead of a bunch of grapes. Water balances out our tissues, flushes away chemical and toxins, and makes our body more efficient. Let’s drink up!

AcidityAn acidic internal environment in our blood and tissues results from excessive stress, too much processed foods and sugar, harmful dietary fats, too much caffeine, and too few fruit and vegetables in our diet. Acidity can lead to joint pains, fatigue, lethargy, and hormonal imbalances. I often speak to teenagers about healthy living and share with them that the key to feeling and looking great is to mostly eat ‘fresh stuff ’. They get it and perhaps we should too?


Dr Cris MBBS (hons), BBMedSci, ACNEM Primary Course, P.T. As an expert in nutritional medicine Dr Cris specialises not just in the prevention and treatment of illnesses, but in the attaining of optimum health. She believes that this state is achievable for anyone

and passionately shares this message as a media personality. Dr Cris believes a person can develop resistance to illnesses by employing simple strategies. Dr Cris has compiled these simple strategies from her broad studies in medicine, biomedical science, integrative and nutritional medicine, health coaching, as well as personal fitness training. She holds recognised qualifications in all these areas. For more information visit www.drcris.com.au

Dr Cris now has her own website that you can visit for helpful health tips!

www.drcris.com.au

HormonesHormones often get the blame for a lot of our problems. This is only partly true and certainly a case of chicken-or-the-egg. What I’ve discovered through studying the body is that unchecked and unmanaged stress causes brain ‘happy’ hormones to reduce as well as female sex hormones. This means an increase in anxiety and depression, poor sleep, lowered libido, thyroid dysfunction, and weight gain around our abdomen and hips.

So instead of working on our hormones as such, I have found the best approach is for patients to learn to manage their stress levels. Certainly I have given various supplements or medications to assist in rebalancing hormones whilst a patient is in the process of altering their lifestyle. But this is only ever meant to be short-term. This was the case with Lucy, where I prescribed a combination stress formula for several months. It is certainly worthwhile in my opinion discussing this with a qualified health practitioner; not forgetting though that real body change will not occur until lifestyle changes are made.

Stimulants Most of us would not consider ourselves addicts. Yet each day we consume various addictive substances that seemingly help us cope; albeit in a maladaptive way. This is the case of the compulsive caffeine-drinker or chocolate-eater. Some people on the other hand crave salty foods. Often people wished that they didn’t ‘need’ to consume these things. Our cravings say a lot about our bio-chemistry and are a sign that our bodies have reached their individual stress limits.

Our brain senses a threat to our well-being when we are stressed and seeks a way to neutralise that threat. By releasing brain chemicals through consuming addictive substances, the threat is perceived to be neutralised, though temporarily. This does not help us cope with the stress long-term or the next time we are confronted with the same stressor.

Instead, let’s perhaps aim to consume stimulants such as coffee and chocolate in moderation whilst we re-train our brains to deal with the perceived threat in another way. Examples of this may be deep-breathing, distraction, going for a walk, writing

in our journal, talking with a friend, or just getting some fresh air.

Finally, although our bodies are so beautifully complex, the process to regaining our energy back does not have to be. As we have explored, common sense will always prevail. Although Easter will come and go, and we vow to never eat that much chocolate again, common sense will never leave us. Following common sense is what the world calls wisdom and following wisdom is what the world calls genius.

We all know instinctively that life will not change until we do and until our approach and attitude towards our health changes. We deserve to look after ourselves and we have all that we need within us to achieve this. Let’s perhaps aim to follow common sense a little more often when it comes to our health.

*Patient’s name changed to ensure confidentiality 1 American Institute of Stress http://www.stress.org/americas.htm2 National Sleep Foundation http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/white-papers/how-much-sleep-do-adults-need 3 Blau, J. N., Kell, C. A. and Sperling, J. M. (2004), Water-Deprivation Headache: A New Headache With Two Variants. Headache: The Journal of Head and Face Pain, 44: 79–83. 4 The Boston Globe http://www.boston.com/globe/search/stories/health/how_and_why/011298.htm


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Mum’s Day OffQQQQ

Food Editor: Angela Frost



recipes your kids can cook for you(with a little help from Dad)3

MACADAMIA CRUSTED SALMON Prep 10 minutes Cook 8-10 minutesServes 4 For Crust1 cup Macadamia nuts1/2 cup Panko breadcrumbs or any dried breadcrumbs1 tbsp parsley- roughly chopped1 garlic clove - roughly chopped4 tbsp butter - softened 4 x 180g fresh salmon fillets - skin off 1. Preheat oven to 200c2. Combine all ingredients for the crust in a food processor and pulse until a rough crust forms.3. Place salmon fillets on a lined baking tray. Season with salt and pepper. 4. Divide the crust mixture evenly over the top layer of the salmon.5. Bake for 8-10 minutes till golden. 6. Serve with a simple green salad.

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CREAMY SCRAMBLED EGGS WITH SMOKED SALMON AND TOASTED BAGELS Prep 5 minutes |Cook 2-3 minutes |Serves 4 4 free range eggs1/2 cup pouring cream2 tbsp chives- finely choppedsalt and pepper20g butter200g smoked salmon2 plain bagels - sliced in half and toasted 1. Place the eggs, cream, chives and salt in a bowl and whisk well. 2. Melt the butter in a non-stick frying pan over a medium heat. Add the egg mixture and cook stirring for 2-3 minutes until just set. 3. Toast the bagels then divide eggs among the bagels and top with salmon and a sprinkle of pepper. 4. Serve while warm.

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MINI LIME CHEESECAKES Makes approx 10 Prep 30 minutes Cook 20 minutes

Base 150g Arnotts Granita Biscuits70g butter- melted

Filling 250g cream cheese - softened75g caster sugar1 egg1 1/2 tbsp fresh lime juice100mls thickened creamFresh raspberries to serve 1. Heat oven to 1800c2. Line ten holes of a muffin pan with patty cases. 3. Finely crush biscuits in a food processor. Add butter and process. 4. Divide biscuit mixture among cases. Firmly press mixture down with the back of a teaspoon. Set aside.5. Beat cream cheese and caster sugar in a food processor. When mixture is completely smooth add egg, lime juice and cream. Beat until combined. 6. Divide mixture among cases. Bake for 20 minutes. 7. Remove chessecakes from the oven and cool in the pan for 30 minutes. 8. Place them in an airtight container and refrigerate till they are cold and set. 9. Remove from cases and top with raspberries 10. Serve and enjoy!

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