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THE INDEPENDENT Heroic “Guardian Angels” From 106th Air National Guard Receive Bronze Stars For Valor. (Page 4) VOL. 21 NO. 16 DECEMBER 11, 2013 www.indyeastend.com FREE 555 Project Hits Snag pg. 13 Tragedy Averted NOW, FOR THE NORTH FORK, THE Traveler Watchman TRUTH WITHOUT FEAR SINCE 1826 Your # 1 resource for everything happening in the Hamptons this week! USAF PHOTO / SENIOR AIRMAN CHRISTOPHER MUNCY pg. 12 Immigration Rally pg. 10 pgs. B-4, B-7 Indy Snaps Santa Parade 106 TH ANG: COURAGE UNDER FIRE pg. 8

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  • THE INDEPENDENT

    Heroic Guardian Angels From 106th Air National Guard Receive Bronze Stars For Valor. (Page 4)

    VOL. 21 NO. 16 DECEMBER 11, 2013 www.indyeastend.com FREE

    555 Project Hits Snag

    pg. 13

    Tragedy Averted

    NOW, FOR THE NORTH FORK, THETraveler Watchman TRUTH WITHOUT FEAR SINCE 1826

    Your # 1 resource

    for everything

    happening in the

    Hamptons this

    week!

    USAF PHOTO / SENIOR AIRMAN CHRISTOPHER MUNCY

    pg. 12

    Immigration Rallypg. 10 pgs. B-4, B-7

    Indy SnapsSanta Parade

    106TH ANG:

    COURAGE UNDER FIRE

    pg. 8

  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman2

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  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 3

  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman4

    By Kitty Merrill

    Its the stuff of Hollywood blockbuster scripts brave men sacrificing personal safety to perform acts of heroism behind enemy lines. In this case, however, the story is real. And its not Academy Awards going to the courageous cast, its the Bronze Star with V device for valor, the nations fourth highest ranking military award for heroism, bestowed last Friday to members of the East Ends own 106th Rescue Wing 103rd Rescue Squadron.

    In a ceremony at Gabreski Air National Guard Base in Westhampton last Friday, the Combat Rescue Officer and five Pararescuemen, known collectively

    as Guardian Angels, were honored for courage under fire on a rescue mission in Kandahar, Afghanistan.

    Almost a year ago to the day, the Guardian Angels, comprised of Captain Ronnie Maloney, 43, of Middle Island; Senior Master Sergeant Erik Blom, 37, of Hampton Bays; Technical Sergeant Anthony Yusup, 31, of Bloomsburg, PA; Staff Sergeant James Dougherty, 29, of Rocky Point; Staff Sergeant Matthew Zimmer, 28, of Westhampton; and Staff Sergeant Christopher Petersen, 28, of Commack, then a senior Airman, were assigned to the 46th Expeditionary Rescue Squadron Detachment of the 651st Air Expeditionary Group, a part of the 451st Air Expeditionary Wing,

    at Kandahar Air Field. On December 10, 2012, the

    Guardian Angels were tasked with a high-risk casualty evacuation of four soldiers critically wounded during an ambush. The team was assigned to man two HH-60 Pavehawk rescue helicopters, call signs Pedro 61 and Pedro 62, being flown by members of the 55th Rescue Squadron, an Active Air Force unit. A friendly platoon of about 25 soldiers had been ambushed and four soldiers were critically injured.

    The friendly unit was still under fire as the two helicopters approached the scene. Yusup, Dougherty and Petersen, in Pedro 2, were first on the ground, their chopper under enemy machinegun fire. They ran through it to reach the American and Afghan infantrymen, who were sheltering behind a mud wall. Two rocket-propelled grenades hit the ground just five meters away from the Air Guardsmen as they conducted triage on the wounded soldiers. When the grenades hit nearby Sgt. Dougherty and Airman Petersen shielded the wounded with their own bodies. Leader of the three-man element, Sgt. Yusup stayed in the open, exposed to enemy fire, directing the casualty collection.

    Meanwhile, Pedro 61, carrying Combat Rescue Officer Maloney, and two East Enders, Blom, the team noncommissioned officer in charge, and Zimmer, landed. Approaching the site, the chopper immediately came under direct enemy small arms fire and machine gun fire and narrowly missed a rocket-propelled grenade fired at it.

    The trio ran across an open field under enemy fire to get to the wounded. According to his citation, Sgt. Zimmer ran across an open field

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    Continued on Page 34.

    USAF Photo / Senior Airman Christopher Muncy

    Honor East End Airmen For Valor

  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 5

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    By AnonymousI thought it would be a nice idea

    to bring a date to my parents house on Christmas Eve. I thought it would be interesting for a non-Italian girl to see how an Italian family spends the holidays. I thought my mother and my date would hit it off like partridges and pear trees. So, I was wrong. I had only known Karen for three weeks when I extended the invitation. I know these family things can be a little weird, I told her, but my folks are great, and we always have a lot of fun on Christmas Eve.

    Sounds fine to me, Karen said.I had only known my mother

    for 31 years when I told her Id be

    The first meal my wife, the beautiful Judy Licht, had at my parents house was on a Christmas Eve 33 years ago.

    Judy arrived with her mother and there was that uncomfortable awkward introduction time that we all have been through when introducing our parents to someone with whom we may be serious.

    Judy and her mother were ushered into the kitchen where, on the stove, eels were frying and squiggling. A whole octopus was swirling around in tomato sauce with the tentacles appearing with every boil.

    Judy looked like she was going to be sick. Her mother was stunned and held on to a table and looked as though she was going to faint.

    We survived that meal and it turned out everyone really liked each other, although I still remember Judy and her mom politely moving the eel and octopus on their plates from side to side with the speed and dexterity of Las Vegas blackjack dealers. They didnt eat a bite.

    I thought of that when I received this column years ago from someone on the Internet. Its good writing. And Im sure its true. If the writer comes forward Im ready to give him all the credit he deserves for surviving and living to write about it.

    an itaLian CHRiStMaS diSaSteRbringing Karen with me. Shes a very nice girl and shes really looking forward to meeting all of you.

    Sounds fine to me, my mother said. And that was that. Two telephone calls. Two sounds-fine-to-me. What more could I want?

    I should point out, I suppose, that in Italian households, Christmas Eve is the social event of the season an Italian womans raison detre. She cleans. She cooks. She bakes. She orchestrates every minute of the entire evening. Christmas Eve is what Italian women live for. I should also point out, I suppose, that when it comes to the kind of women that make Italian men go nuts, Karen is it. She doesnt clean. She doesnt cook. She doesnt bake. And she has the largest breasts I have ever seen on a human being. I brought her anyway.

    7 PM We arrive. Karen and I walk in and putter around for half an hour waiting for the other guests to show up. During that half hour, my mother grills Karen like a cheeseburger and cannily determines that Karen does not clean, cook, or bake. My father is

    equally observant. He pulls me into the living room and notes, She has the largest breasts I have ever seen on a human being.

    7:30 PM. Others arrive. Uncle Pepe walks in with my Aunt Mafalde, assorted kids, assorted gifts. We sit around the dining room table for antipasto, a symmetrically composed platter of lettuce, roasted peppers, black olives, salami, prosciutto, provolone, and anchovies. When I offer to make Karens plate she says, Thank you. But none of those things, okay? She points to the anchovies.

    You dont like anchovies? I ask. I dont like fish, Karen announces to one and all as 67 other varieties of foods-that-swim are baking, broiling, and simmering in the next room.

    My mother makes the sign of the cross. Things are getting uncomfortable.

    Aunt Mafalde asks Karen what her family eats on Christmas Eve. Karen says, Knockwurst. My father, who is still staring in a daze at Karens chest, temporarily snaps out of it to murmur, Knockers?

    My mother kicks him so hard he gets a blood clot. None of this is turning out the way Id hoped.

    8 PM Second course. The spaghetti and crab sauce is on the way to the table. Karen declines the crab sauce and says shell make her own with butter and ketchup. My mother asks me to join her in the kitchen. I take my Merry Christmas napkin from my lap, place it on the Merry Christmas tablecloth and walk into the kitchen. I dont want to start any trouble, my mother says calmly, clutching a bottle of ketchup in her hands. But if she pours this on my pasta, Im going to throw acid in her face.

    Come on, I tell her. Its Christmas. Let her eat what she wants.

    My mother considers the situation, then nods. As I turn to walk back into the dining room, she grabs my shoulder. Tell me the truth, she says. Are you serious with this puttana?

    Shes not a puttana, I reply, and Ive only known her for three

    weeks. Well, its your life, she tells me, but if you marry her, shell poison you.

    8:30 PM More fish. My stomach is knotted like one of those macram plant hangers that are always three times larger than the plants they hold. All the women get up to clear away the spaghetti dishes, except for Karen, who, instead, lights a cigarette. Why dont you give them a little hand? I politely suggest.

    Karen makes a face and walks into the kitchen carrying three forks. Dear, you dont have to do that, my mother tells her, smiling painfully. Oh, okay, Karen says, putting the forks on the sink.

    As she reenters the dining room, a wine glass flies over her head, and smashes against the wall. From the kitchen, my mother says, Whoops. I vaguely remember that line from Torch Song Trilogy. Whoops? No. Whoops is when you fall down an elevator shaft.

    More fish comes out.After some goading, Karen tries

    a piece of scungilli, which she describes as slimy, like worms. My mother winces, bites her hand, and pounds her chest like one of those old women you always see in the sixth row of a funeral home. Aunt Mafalde does the same. Karen, believing that this is something that all Italian women do on Christmas Eve, bites her hand and pounds her chest.

    10 PM Coffee, dessert. Espresso all around. A little Anisette. A curl of lemon peel. When Karen asks for milk, my mother finally slaps her in the face with a cannoli. I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Karen, believing that this is something that all Italian women do on Christmas Eve, picks up a cannoli and slaps my mother with it. Rally

    This is fun, Karen says. Fun? No. Fun is when you fall down an elevator shaft. But, amazingly, everyone is laughing and smiling and filled with good cheer even my mother, who grabs me by the shoulder, laughs and says, Get this bitch out of my house.

    Sounds fine to me.If you wish to comment on Jerrys

    Ink please send your message to [email protected].

    Birds of Prey at Marders

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    Nick Marzano of the WildlifeRescue Center of the Hamp-tons will hold a demonstrationwith Birds of Prey at Marders.

  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 7

  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman8

    By Kitty MerrillThere was just one family living

    at the house when fire ripped through the residence on Greenfield Road in Shinnecock Hills last week. Marked by a massive explosion that sent flames shooting out the windows of the two-story home, the December 4 blaze destroyed the structure and injured an inhabitant.

    It could have been a lot worse.Accord ing to Chie f Town

    Investigator David Betts, the site has been on town police and code enforcement radar for years, with complaints running the gamut from overcrowded occupancy to drug activity. Spurred by yet another round of grievances, last summer, during the early morning hours

    Independent / James J. Mackin

    Fire destroyed this greenfield Road, Southampton house. town officials credit a temporary Restraining order related to myriad housing violations with preventing a potentially tragic event.

    TRO Prevents Mass Casualtiesof August 2, town police, code enforcement and staff from the Suffolk County Health Department converged on the property to conduct a search warrant.

    What they found was, according to town attorney Tiffany Scarlato, a pretty bad scene. There were people living in tents and campers in the yard, human feces, raw sewage and syringes visible on the grounds of the property. Multiple living spaces delineated by tarps were discovered in the basement, while the rest of the house appeared to be converted into another four or five living areas, Betts reported. Officials said it was difficult to pin down the exact number of people staying at the place; estimates ranged from a low of 20 to a high

    of 27. It was definitely a disaster waiting to happen, he asserted. In any given year, Betts said his department executes an average of 75 search warrants.

    Between 30 and 40 charges were issued relating to the Greenfield Road abode. As soon as the extent of the public safety issues were revealed, Scarlato said her office commenced efforts to obtain a restraining order in Supreme Court. The countys Department of Social Services was called in to ensure displaced residents were able to obtain emergency shelter.

    The order, requiring everyone but the family living in one lawful apartment to decamp, may have been a lifesaver. In a release following last weeks fire Southampton Town Supervisor Anna Throne-Holst noted, The efforts of the Towns Code Enforcement Division to shut down this house and return it to its legal one family use prevented a massive tragedy . . . If people had been still occupying the basement at the time of the fire, there is no doubt we would be talking about mass casualties.

    There are strict building requirements for having living space in basements, Councilwoman Christine Preston Scalera, co-chair of the Towns Quality of Life Task Force added. In the event of an emergency like this type of fire, the proper structural configuration of stairs, windows and walls is vital to providing occupants with multiple means of egress to prevent being trapped by smoke and fire. The basement of this house was illegally converted and failed to provide any alternative means of egress for any occupant. Without last summers efforts of the Town Code Enforcement Division, Town

    Continued on Page 21.

  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 9

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  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman10

    Independent / James J. Mackin

    Santa Claus Is Coming To Town previewed his main arrival on Christmas Eve with a visit to the East Hampton Chamber of Commerce annual parade. This years theme was A Disney Holiday, so there were plenty of Mickey Mouses or Mice to go around.

  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 11

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  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman12

    New tax limitations for 2013 continue to provide significant tax benefits to small-business owners.2

    Now when you purchase qualifying GMvehicles for your business before 12/31/13, you could earn a tax deduc-tion up to $500,000. Plus you can take advantage of other available incentives to really increase your savings.

    For additional business saving opportunities, ask your dealer about the GMBusiness Choice Program,or visit gmbusinesschoice.com for program details and vehicle eligibity. 1The tax incentives are available for depreciable tangible property that is acquired by purchase for use in the active conduct of a trade or business. Additional limita-tionbased on purchases for the 2013 tax year, the aggregate deduction of $500,000 under Internal Revenue Section 179 is most beneficial to small businesses thatplace in service nomore than $2,000,000 of Section 179 property during the year. Certain vehicles, models and restrictions apply. Consult your tax professional fordetails. 2Each individuals tax situation is unique; therefore, please consult your tax professional to confirm vehicle depreciation deducation and tax benefits. For moredetails visit, irs.gov, or to calculate your bonus depreciation, visit depreciation.org. 3For vehicles that qualify as passenger automobiles under the Internal reveunueCode, there is a $11,160 per-vehicle depreciationd deduction cap. 4For vehicles that qualify as sport utility venhicles under the Internal reveunue Code, there is a$25,00 per-vehicle depreciationd deduction cap.

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    By Kitty Merrill

    Ove r 2 50 ad vo ca t e s and immig r an t s , a c t i v i s t s a nd community members, parents and children braved a dreary, cold Sunday afternoon to rally for

    immigration reform. The knoll at Lola Prentiss Park in Southampton Village was nearly covered with demonstrators carrying placards in English and Spanish chanting Si se puede, (Yes, we can).

    The Hampton Bays -based advocacy organization East End Immigrant Advocates sponsored the rally, which featured a variety

    of speakers from similarly-focused social justice groups, such as Lucius Ware, president of the East End chapter of the NAACP.

    Showing support for the bipartisan immigration reform measures co-sponsored by Senator Charles Schumer and Senator John McCain was the goal of the outing. Demonstrators hoped to urge House Speaker John Boehner to allow the legislation to be brought up for a vote.

    Some carried signs to that effect. One speaker referenced the holiday season, reporting her letter to Santa would ask for immigration relief. Shed also ask God to touch the hearts of lawmakers in Washington, D.C., especially John Boehner.

    Bills before the House and Senate both include a lengthy, 13-year path to citizenship for adults, and an expedited path for immigrants who were brought here as children. Sister Mary Beth Moore, founder of EEIA pictured above, pointed out that 71 percent of Americans support a pathway to citizenship for immigrants.

    The gathering was large, and sparked by occasional chanting, but remained peaceful and marked by a warmth and convivial atmosphere tha t be l i ed the unf r i end ly temperatures.

    Concurrently a small counter rally was held across Windmill Lane. Five demonstrators carried signs offering a contrasting point of view, calling for no amnesty for undocumented immigrants.

    [email protected]

    Immigration Rally Draws a Crowd

    Independent/Kitty Merrill

  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 13

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    dems Rallied troopsEast Hampton Democrats launched a concerted effort to stop the 555

    Project in Amagansett, but one insider complained, the party insiders had an agenda beyond the proposed zone change. Even after the Suffolk County Planning Commission effectively sent the property owners back to the drawing board on December 3, the signature gathering continued.

    The source, who wished to remain anonymous, questioned the entire petition process. Was there ever a need since a petition would have been completely ineffective legally or politically?

    The source forwarded emails between some of the local Democrats chortling about their victory. At one point Deb Foster, a former town board and planning board member, chastised Zach Cohen via email. Zach, for godsakes (sic) will you stop telling people not to come to meetings and that 555 is over!! We are trying to build a public constituency of young people . . .

    The real reason for the petition is that its a partisan political tool to covertly gather names and contact information for their party, the source complained.

    Foster apparently forwarded her concerns to other party insiders: to the people who received this memo from Zach, please do not discourage people from signing on. We will probably be sued by the developer and we need a public record and support.

    Foster then continued to berate Cohen at some length. Deb Foster want[ed] to hide it from people that the SCPC killed the 555 project so she can keep getting names, phone numbers and emails for the Dems - and maybe be relevant again, the source opined, Isnt that a little underhanded? And look at the way she talks to Cohen. This is the party that ran on a platform of civility?

    R.M.

    By Kitty Merrill

    Theyre not going away. Britton Bistrian, the local representative for the Connecticut-based developers sponsoring the ambitious 555 luxury senior housing project in Amagansett, affirmed Friday her clients are headed back to the drawing board, not away.

    On December 3 the Suffolk County Planning Commission denied 555s zone change request, effectively killing the plan to construct dozens of high-end senior condos on a 24-acre parcel on Montauk Highway in Amagansett. The project was the subject of an online petition drive mounted by opponents that drew over a thousand of signatures.

    Although the Republican majority on the town board seemed poised to offer an eleventh hour greenlight at its final meeting next week, the planning commission tanked any effort to expedite the project. It takes a supermajority of the town board to override a planning commission determination, and two of five town board members, Democratic councilmembers Sylvia Overby and Peter Van Scoyoc, have expressed opposition to the plan.

    So, too, did Supervisor-elect Larry Cantwell, who told this paper hed likely look to repeal any last minute measures by the Wilkinson administration. Members of the incoming town board all wrote to the planning commission expressing their opposition.

    Victory for opponents may be short-lived. Bistrian said Friday that developers plan to regroup and return with a new proposal for the Amagansett acreage. We are moving forward, she said. That wasnt our only plan for the property.

    The 555 proposal was the product

    555: On To Plan Bof a years worth of studying It wasnt a half baked idea, Bistrian said, adding, the next proposal will be the result of a similar volume of intense examination.

    As the developer considers another direction, the resounding echo in their discussion is as of right, Bistrian said. In planning lingo as of right means the level of development permitted under current zoning law. For the Amagansett parcel, that boils down to seven large houses on three-acre lots, plus a 40 unit affordable housing development. (The land is zoned for 36 units, but Long Island Workforce Housing legislation allows for a 10 percent density bonus.)

    Speaking to the outcry that followed the town boards surprise resolutions setting public hearings on first creating a new zone designation for senior housing, then conveying the designation to 555, as well as the planning commissions project-damning decision, Bistrian said, We are disappointed that the environmental and social merits of the project seem to have been missed.

    Although the zone change point is moot, Bistrian reported the project sponsors wont ask to cancel the hearings next week. We have always been open to public discussion and comments and even criticism because we believe that market rate senior housing is a need in this town and one that has been vastly ignored, she informed.

    For those who may have hoped the planning commission vote killed 555 forever, the next desirable option may be a public acquisition of the property (reportedly sold to the developer for over $20 million) through the Community

    Preservation Fund. Thats not going to happen any

    time soon, if at all. Bistrian pointed out that CPF law requires a willing

    seller, and We have always seen this property through the eyes of development.

    [email protected]

  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman14

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    By Emily ToyThe hamlet of Riverside will

    finally be getting the TLC it so des-perately needs and deserves.

    In an effort to rebuild, redevelop and rejuvenate the marred area, the Southampton Town Board recently granted the master developer con-tract to Renaissance Downtowns, a Plainview-based, privately held real estate development and investment firm focused on the comprehensive and holistic redevelopment of sub-urban downtowns.

    For years now, the Riverside area has been associated with lack of businesses, poverty and crime. Ac-cording to the U.S. Census, it has one of the lowest median incomes on

    Riverside Revamp Rolls OnLong Island. Renaissances own vice president of planning and develop-ment, Sean McLean, is a Flanders resident, the neighboring hamlet that experiences similar difficulties.

    Dubbed the Riverside Revitaliza-tion Action Plan, rebuilding and re-opening storefronts in the blighted downtown area was discussed at last Thursdays work session with representatives from Renaissance Downtowns.

    This is a start-over type proj-ect, said Councilman-elect and Northampton resident Brad Bender. In a way, were kind of starting from scratch.

    Town Planning and Development Administrator Kyle Collins was on

    hand at the work session along with Renaissance Downtowns rep-resentatives.

    The goal of the Riverside Revi-talization Action Plan will be to use the towns planning initiatives to provide strategies and development proposals that will turn planning concepts into reality, he said. This will be accomplished by utilizing community outreach strategies to build consensus with respect to the redevelopment and/or development uses in the targeted area; develop-ing land use strategies and goals; zoning and/or regulatory changes; and strategies for the attracting of additional investment into the Riverside area, he added.

    Last August, Councilwoman Christine Scalera brought forth a resolution, co-sponsored by Su-pervisor Anna Throne-Holst, for a Request for Qualifications from experienced real estate develop-ment organizations to help guide the town in redeveloping Riverside.

    The award of the master devel-oper contract is an exciting and im-portant first step in an action plan aimed at Riversides revitalization, Scalera said. This starts to bring this communitys long awaited vision for the area to fruition. I believe we have a great partner in Renaissance Downtowns.

    Renaissance Downtowns will oversee marketing and day-to-day management of the revitalization.

    Renaissances other gigs in-clude serving as master developer for property surrounding Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, revitalizing Huntington Station, and doing a downtown makeover of Hempstead Village.

    Bender estimated it would most likely be a good six months to a year for the project to get moving.

    Im excited about what the next year or two years will bring, he said. I couldnt be more delighted.

    [email protected]

  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 15

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  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman16

    By Rick Murphy

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    Im all about Christmas. I like the lights, the phony Santas, tinsel, giving and receiving gifts, midnight mass OK, stop. Not midnight mass. My problem with going to church at midnight is that its too damn late. Ive always felt midnight mass should begin around 4 PM so it doesnt interfere with happy hour.

    I like Christmas music. The best Christmas album is A Christmas Gift For You, the Phil Spector masterpiece, even if his gift may be a bullet to the face. I also like The Beach Boys Christmas Album. I like to picture Brian Wilson in the studio, stoned out of his gourd on assorted psychedelic drugs, channeling his inner baby Jesus, although by then he looked more like a big old donkey.

    Most people dont know Wilson actually wrote half the songs on the album people have heard them so often its assumed they are old classics (the most famous of the bunch is Little Saint Nick). When it comes to music though, nothing says Christmas like Rust In Peace by Megadeth.

    all up in ChristmasI take a great deal of pride in

    choosing the gifts I give. I dont repackage ok, thats a lie. Im only admitting it because I got caught last year. I gave my sister-in-law several books for Christmas. The truth is they were sent to The Independent for review. I didnt realize that inside there was a disclaimer: Press Copy: Not For Sale. She pretended not to notice but my wife was pissed I cheaped out on a Christmas present to her sister.

    Why are you mad?Because she cant return it,

    Karen said.But who would want to return The

    History Of Stirrups? Last year I thoughtfully gave my

    niece a Turkish hookah for Christmas, but my sister got all bent out of shape.

    Whats the matter? I asked.I dont want my daughter smoking

    opium! she declared forcefully.Jeez, shes such a square. Everyone

    knows you smoke hashish in water pipes nowadays anyhow, the kid is only nine, too young for opium.

    The worst gift I have ever gotten bar none was a selection of the finest chutney from some artsy-fartsy store. Lets get one thing straight: chutney is retarded jelly. What happens is all the major companies that make jellies and preserves descend on all the fruit growers and buy up all the raspberries, strawberries, oranges, and grapes.

    That leaves all the weirdo crap for the chutney makers, so you get flavors like Neeras Pineapple Chutney with green ginger, fennel, jalapenos, and cashews. Honest to god. Then there is Wild Thymes Plum Currant Ginger Chutney.

    Now I ask you what kid says Mommy, Mommy, can I have a peanut butter and Tamarind Green Chili Chutney, on 12-grain bread?

    No kid, at least no American kid. Maybe in India they want chutney. In this country we give them peanut butter, Welchs grape jelly, and Wonder Bread thats America.

    I like to shop on Christmas Eve thats traditional. Some people complain you get ripped off, because merchants raise the prices because they know the shoppers are desperate. The way I look at it, the price doesnt matter because Im going to pick out something no one likes and they are going to return it the day after Christmas anyway. Sometimes, though, I nail it, like the time I gave my Uncle Tom, who suffered from

    erectile dysfunction, an Erector Set. He was really excited -- he even stashed it under his bed. Eventually, though, it was returned. I could never figure out why.

    I gave my cousin Bobby a used saxophone I had found at a yard sale. He was always musically inclined and I figured hed get a kick out of playing it. He did, at first he tried for months, but finally gave it up. He told me it was out of tune but I eventually figured out his hair lip was raising every note a half-octave the poor guy.

    I used to relish Christmas morning. As a child I would dutifully write to Santa and ask for things like a horse, a blow-up doll, a batting cage, or some other useful gift. After a couple years of getting pajamas with the built in slipper socks I realized that old red-nosed fool didnt give a crap about me he was in it for the cookies, milk, and merry widows.

    It was then I realized the true spirit of Christmas it wasnt about the gift, or the wrapping paper, or even the thought behind the gift. None of those things are important. There really is only one gift to give Christmas morning, and it is the gift you should keep giving and giving every day.

    That gift ladies and gentlemen, is money, and you should keep giving it -- to me -- until you have none left, and I have it all (I will then get you a big jar of chutney).

  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 17

    Continued on Page 18.

    EDITORIAL

    Independent VOICES

    Dumb And Dumber

    Parents, teachers and school administrators are calling for the head of New York State Education Commissioner John B. King, lambasting the states Common Core Curriculum.

    Its a veritable lynching, and King is an easy prey after students local and otherwise performed dismally on standardized state tests.

    But wait a second the recently released OECD Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) report, which compares the knowledge and skills of 15-year-olds in 70 countries around the world, proves convincingly that the education system in this country is broken, and it has nothing to do with Common Core. American students ranked 14th out of 34 OECD countries for reading skills, 17th for science and a dismal 25th for mathematics.

    Teachers unions, always on the prowl for a defenseless scapegoat, promptly blamed the test scores on the poverty level of students in our school systems, which presumably includes immigrants.

    How laughable and sad. Vietnam had a higher average score in math and science than the United States, and a much-higher poverty level.

    We live in the wealthiest country in the world, and our teachers are the highest paid, New York State teachers especially so. On the East End, the numbers are staggering the average teacher makes a six-figure income with a blue chip pension and medical insurance. Shouldnt they be held accountable? Put another way, if our local students perform no better than their peers elsewhere, why do we pay our teachers so much more?

    Sadly, parents quickly lined up against King and behind their school boards, teachers and administrators. Apparently, none of us want to believe our little Johnny isnt getting the kind of education he should be getting and were not getting the bang for the bucks we are doling out to our school districts.

    Lets tell it like it is: our education system is broken. We throw more and more money at teachers and administrators, our property taxes rise annually, and the results simply arent there. So we blame the system because the exams are too

    hard. Our guess is if we gave the Common Core exams to the Chinese and Indians their students would ace the tests.

    Part of the problem is the authority wielded by the teachers union. Most teachers across the country get their union dues automatically deducted from their paychecks.

    Over the last 20 years, the American Federation of Teachers (AFT) has given more than $28 million in campaign contributions; the National Education Association (NEA) has given almost $31 million. Thats almost $60 million, more than any other organization but thats just the tip of the iceberg. At the state level, the AFT and NEA combined to spend an additional $61.8 million on candidates and expenditures for ballot initiatives in 2008 alone. Plus, teachers unions spend millions more on uncoordinated expenditures and get-out-the-vote efforts.

    A lot of the money goes to candidates who agree not to support legislation that would limit tenure or promote methods that would evaluate the performance of teachers and reveal the identities of inept ones.

    That kind of clout means education reformers like King face an enormous task: they must try and improve the system in the face of a concerted effort hell bent on maintaining the status quo at all costs. That means guaranteed lifetime jobs take precedence over their commitment to education a blueprint for mediocrity.

    This is not to imply teachers shoulder all the blame there are thousands of dedicated teachers who excel in the classroom. There is plenty of blame to go around, starting with parents who let their kids spend hours on social media and playing video games, and the students themselves who seem to lack to the drive to excel.

    Parents, next time your children complain the tests are too hard, tell them to spend two extra hours each night studying. And next time your school administrators voice a similar lament, tell them youd prefer the district hire leaders who dont make excuses.

    School officials are fond of pointing out that standardized test scores tell only part of the full education experience, and that there is a inherent danger when teachers teach to the test. We get that but no matter what criteria is used, the same result emerges; our students are not reaching their educational potential.

    An Ideal LocationDear Editor,

    I would like to comment on the proposed senior housing development planned for Amagansett.

    Before retiring, I worked closely with the Orange County (NY) Planning Department and several nationally recognized planners. They all stressed that good planning involved placing

    housing close together so that open space could be preserved on appropriate parcels of land. They also stressed that housing for the elderly should be placed in areas where there was easy access to public transportation and to various businesses. Senior housing should not be located in isolated areas but placed in or near town centers.

    The Town of East Hampton has a Master Plan and I am confident it speaks to the need of higher density in areas for specific situations, like senior housing. Good planning calls for such developments to be close to needed businesses in order to be readily available to the residents. The IGA,

    post office and health facilities are very near this proposed development. I believe this is an ideal location. It has worked well with the Lutheran churchs housing. As a senior citizen of this town, who wants to stay here, its time to stop talking and start implementing the plan for seniors.

    I respectfully request that the town board approve this much needed project and make whatever zone changes may be required.

    PAT GILCHRIST

    Better AngelsDear Mr. Murphy,

    After a landslide win in New Jersey by moderate Republican Chris Christie, conservative columnist for The New York Times, Ross Douthat, recommended that Mr. Christie reach out to the Republican conservative base if he intends to pursue higher office (Dear Governor Christie, 11/10). However conservative columnist for the New York Post, Peggy Noonan, pointed out that Republican moderates have always reached out to conservatives often to be deterred (Change is Gonna Come, 11/10).

    In the last Southampton election, Linda Kabot reached out to conservative

  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman18

    editor-in-Chief RICk MURPHY news editor kITTY MERRILL arts editor JESSICA MACkIN Copy editor kAREN FREDERICkS assistant editor / Reporter EMILY TOY

    Reporters / Columnists / Writers JERRY DELLA FEMINA, DOMINIC ANNACONE, SkIPPY

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    delivery Managers ERIC SUPINSkY CHARLIE BURGE

    associate PublisherJESSICA MACkIN

    Publishers JERRY DELLA FEMINA, JAMES J. MACkIN,

    Published weekly by: The East Hampton Independent

    News Company Inc.

    Chairman JERRY DELLA FEMINA President JAMES J. MACkIN Vice President HENRY MURPHY Secretary JODI DELLA FEMINA trustee JESSICA MACkIN

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    Independent VOICES

    Continued FRoM Page 17.

    Continued on Page 19.

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    voters, however, instead of acting as an advisor, conservative candidate Phil Keith referred to Kabots campaign as shrill and questioned her political signs. More troubling was the decision by Conservatives to endorse a Democratic majority implying that Southampton Democrats are more capable of running the Town than Republicans, a self-critique that cannot have helped the Republican slate.

    Many issues werent addressed in the last election. Residents are worried about property rights; the zoning system is still being gamed by both parties; and business district improvements are still needed. My favorite gripe, of course, is the failure of Conservatives to demand an investigation into an expensive drainage project that functions as effectively as the Obamacare website.

    After a landslide win in New York against a conservative from Buffalo, Democratic Governor Andrew Cuomo said, The people of the state listened to their better angels. Yet Cuomo endorsed Southampton Supervisor Anna Throne-Holst who aligned with Conservatives. With respect to Southampton voters who always listen to their better angels, a Democratic/Conservative alliance can be said to represent a government lacking in checks and balances. I have only to step outside my door to see that a need still exists for true opposition.

    SUSAN CERWINSKI

    Like RoyaltyDear Jessica,

    To these two incredible, show stopping animals, thank you so much for highlighting my good, long time friend, Victor Joseph and his new book, Danes are Great! The Adventures of Brando & Kruger.

    I had the unique pleasure of meeting Victor while these two magnificent animals were under his charge - Victor, the most loving, kindest person on the planet, has taken two of his passions, his love of writing and his complete adoration and dedication and put it all in this book. Hats off to you Victor! And, thank you, Jessica for putting the word out for Victor and his two, now deceased, true pals, Brando and Kruguer. He treated them not only with great love and dignity, but like royalty! Best always,

    LINDA B. SHAPIROEditors Note: Jessica Mackin is The

    Independents Arts Editor and Associate Publisher.

    Whats your favorite holiday movie?

    Michael GarabedianAn English flick, called Love, Actually. Its aromantic holiday spirit kind of movie. I watch itevery year. I watch it during the Holidays and Iwatch it during the summertime if its on.Whenever its on, I watch it. I also like HomeAlone.

    Jennifer FowkesElf. Its such a hysterical movie and its adifferent kind of take on Christmas. But actuallymy very favorite movie is an old animatedclaymation movie called Santa Claus Is ComingTo Town. Theres a great character in it, TheBurger Meister, Meister Burger.

    Alec GeppertMy very favorite movie about the holidays isJames Stewart in Its A Wonderful Life. I watchit every year with my daughter. Its such awonderful movie and James Stewart is really agreat actor.

    Mema SchumannHome Alone. Its a very funny and mischievoustake on the holidays and I think its one of thebest holiday movies ever made. Its just a bitdifferent than the others and I always laughwhen I watch it.

    JUSTASKING By Karen Fredericks

  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 19

    Independent VOICES

    Continued FRoM Page 18.

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    Pantry NewsDear Editor,

    We would like to thank everyone who is helping us to rebuild the larder at the Food Pantry. We still have a way to go to get to a safe level for the winter. Its the efforts of all the people who have been volunteering to get donations of food and funds that will get us to that goal.

    We would particularly like to thank Mr. Ben Krupinski - a builder based in East Hampton- for a very generous contribution to the East Hampton Food Pantry. Mr. Krupinski has been a supporter of the people of East Hampton for many years. He built the storage facility that the Pantry uses for food distribution. It is especially heartening to see the businesses both locally owned and branches of firms located from London to New York to Los Angeles coming to the aid of residents who need help.

    Any companies that would like to join

    Hampton BaysLocal Teacher Wins Prize

    Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan, on the air doing Live with Kelly and Michael called Hampton Bays resident and local kindergarten teacher Susan Kennedy as part of their daily vacation contest. Kennedy correctly answered a question about actress Zoe Saldanas guilty pleasure - answer White Castle. She won the Grand Prize of a $7800 Windjammer Cruise. Susan is a teacher at Our Lady of the Hamptons in Southampton.

    Our Villages & HamletsPlease call us at 631-324-2500 to Report News from Your Community

    EastportFire Department Elections

    The annual elections for the Eastport Fire Department were held last week. The following chiefs were elected and, upon approval of the Board of Fire Commissioners, will take office in January: Chief: William Weick; 1st Assistant Chief: Mark Yakaboski; 2nd Assistant Chief: Michael Tortorice. Barry Vicik was elected Captain of the Fire Police, Chris Murray will serve as secretary and Keith Kostuk as treasurer.

    the group of firms supporting this drive can contact Greg Mansley at 516-965-3639 or Gabriel Scarpaci at 631-324-2300.

    GREG MANSLEYEAST HAMPTON FOOD PANTRY

    God ForbidDear Rick,

    Now that the National Education Rankings have been reported (The U.S. came in 32nd) I cant wait for our resident nitwit/blowhard Dom Annacone to write an

    article reassuring all of us that our children are not slackers.

    Annacone does not want to focus on the outrageously overpaid superintendents, principals, assistant principals, and teachers who are short-changing our kids god forbid!

    But the proof is in the pudding: school budgets are routinely approved on Long Island, which means a majority of the voters were educated locally because they are too stupid to realize they are being screwed!

    BRUCE DECASTRO

  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman20

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    PRIMELINE MODULAR HOMES, INC.

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  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 21

    ClassifiedsContinued FRoM Page 18.

    FOR ALL YOUR HOME IMPROVEMENT NEEDS

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    Police and the Town Attorneys Office to build and win the case for the temporary restraining order, anyone down there would have been trapped and faced imminent harm.

    Even wi th the decreased occupancy, the December 4 blaze was not without danger. Councilman Jim Malone emphasized, We owe a great deal of gratitude to the volunteer fire fighters and ambulance workers who responded to this incident. It was only through the quick and brave response of these first responders that lives

    were saved. In particular, the heroic actions of Southampton Volunteer Fire Department Chief Chris Brenner, a Southampton Town employee assigned to the Town Police communications division, in risking his own safety to help extinguish an individual whose clothes and hair were on fire when he was first to arrive on scene deserves special commendation.

    T h e h o u s e , r e n d e r e d uninhabitable by the conflagration, is still the focus of a case in justice court, with violations pending, Scarlato said. The owner didnt live there.

    [email protected]

    TROContinued FRoM Page 8.

    Kiara V. Sanchez was born to Paula and Jackson Sanchez at Southampton Hospital last thursday. She weighed in at a healthy 6.6 pounds and was 19 inches long. Big sister geraldine, 4, was happy to greet her, as was her aunt -- indys own Stefany Restrepo.

    me and show me hereinyou are my mother. Oh,Holy Mary, Mother of God,Queen of Heaven andEarth! I humbly beseechyou from the bottom of myheart to succor me in thisnecessity. There are nonethat can withstand yourpower. Oh show me herein,you are my mother. Oh,Mary, conceived withoutsin, pray for us who haverecourse to thee(3x). HolyMother, I place this causein your hands (3x). HolySpirit, you who solve allproblems, light all roadsso that I can attain mygoals. You who gave methe divine gift to forgiveand forget all evil againstme and that in all in-stances in my life you arewith me, I want in thisshort prayer to thank youfor all things as you con-firm once again that Inever want to be sepa-rated from you in eternalglory. Thank you for yourmercy toward me andmine. The person, mustsay this prayer 3 consecu-tive days. after 3 days, therequest will be granted.This prayer must be pub-lished after the favor isgranted. My prayers wereanswered. Thank you sovery much. As requestedby J.L. 36-50-

    PRAYER TO THE BLESSEDVIRGIN (Never known tofail) Oh, most beautifulflower of Mt. Carmel, fruit-ful vine, splendor ofheaven, Mother of the Son

    of God, Immaculate Virgin,assist me in my necessity.Oh, Star of the Sea, helpme and show me hereinyou are my mother. Oh,Holy Mary, Mother of God,Queen of Heaven andEarth! I humbly beseechyou from the bottom of myheart to succor me in thisnecessity. There are nonethat can withstand yourpower. Oh show me herein,you are my mother. Oh,Mary, conceived withoutsin, pray for us who haverecourse to thee(3x). HolyMother, I place this causein your hands (3x). HolySpirit, you who solve allproblems, light all roadsso that I can attain mygoals. You who gave methe divine gift to forgiveand forget all evil againstme and that in all in-stances in my life you arewith me, I want in thisshort prayer to thank youfor all things as you con-firm once again that Inever want to be sepa-rated from you in eternalglory. Thank you for yourmercy toward me andmine. The person, mustsay this prayer 3 consecu-tive days. after 3 days, therequest will be granted.This prayer must be pub-lished after the favor isgranted. My prayers wereanswered. Thank you sovery much. As requestedby Maria. 16-1-16

    WANTED-SCRUB OAK LAND,Pine Barrens Land, un-build-able land. Anywhere in thetown of Southampton. 631-287-0555. 09-52-08

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  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman22

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  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 23

    East End

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    Robert E. Otto,Inc.Glass & Mirror

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  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman24

    !"#"$%

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  • www.indyeastend.comARTS & ENTERTAINMENT REAL ESTATEIN THE NEWS December 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman 25

    DIRECTORY 4

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    R E STORAT ION AND R EF IN ISH ING .COM$0/4&37"5*0/t3&4503"5*0/t3&'*/*4)*/(41&$*"-*4544&37*/(-0/(*4-"/% /:$ "/%5)&53 * 45"5&"3&"

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  • www.indyeastend.com ARTS & ENTERTAINMENTREAL ESTATE IN THE NEWSDecember 11, 2013 THE INDEPENDENT Q Traveler Watchman26

    SSchool Dchool DaysaysSubmitted by Local Schools

    DIRECTORY 5

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    Springs School NewsThe students, staff, administration

    and community members, once again, rallied together to provide Thanksgiving meals for 25 Springs families. The Community Outreach Committee led by Colleen McGowan of the Springs Teachers Association would like to thank everybody for all their support.

    The Holiday Bazaar is back. This week the students shop for

    east Hampton High Schools erin nolan (top left) has been named sophomore ambassador to the Hugh oBrian Youth Leadership Program. Julian Macgurn (top center) has been selected as the alternate HoBY participant along with Francesca Keogh-Clark (top right). eton albukrek (seated left) and Yean Franco are the alternates.

    taylor Burgess (Soprano) has been selected to represent Riverhead High School in this years all State Mixed Choir. From left: assistant Superintendent david Wicks, Legislator al Krupski, Joseph Burgess (taylors father), taylor Burgess, Patricia Burgess (taylors mother),and RHS Principal Charles Regan.

    Christmas presents for their families in the commons room. All items range in price from a quarter to $10. The Holiday Bazaar is open today through Friday during the school day with additional Thursday evening hours from 6-8 PM. Parents are welcome to shop.

    The second film festival of the season featured second and fifth grade films. The student films this month were: What Mom and Dad

    Say by Taylor Atwell, Emma Tepan and Rihanna Pinos; Whats The Best Part About . . . by Tiffany Farez and Ashley Farez: What Do You Do In A Thunderstorm by Sophia Rodriquez; and Movements by Bella Tarbet, inspired by the recent animation workshop with the New York City Good School.

    Four new members were added to the staff: two special education teachers, Crystal Reiner and Kimberly Belkin. Marion Flaherty is the new head bus driver in charge of the transportation department. Diana Zuchelli replaced retiring Lou Aiello as a special education chairperson.

    This year the student council is hosting a toy drive to collect toys in cooperation with the U.S. Marine Corps. The elementary