incognito music, models, and more

INCOGNITOmusic, models, and more

Vol. 7, October 2012Monster A Go-Go

Get your Incognito gear!(shirts, panties, pint glasses, etc.)

atcafepress.com/incognitomusicmagazine

i Incognito Music, Models, and More (October 2012) incognitomusicmagazine.com

music, models, and more

CHIEF WRITERCOPY EDITOR

Gary SchwindBob Brower

CONTRIBUTORS

Jason BowmanAdam GriffithJohn Kessler

Carin MerrittShannon Latting

Rachel “Rae” ParkGeorge Swar

Helmut “The Bruiser” Von Schoen

incognitomusicmagazine.com

Submissions (models, music artists, writers): [email protected]

OR

PO Box 2070Mission Viejo, CA 92690

incognitomusicmagazine.com Incognito Music, Models, and More (October 2012) ii

Unless otherwise noted, all content is written by Gary Schwind.

FEATURED ON OUR COVERS

(front cover)Mission Creeps photoillustration by Rachel “Rae” Park

Photo courtesy of the Mission Creeps band.

(back cover)Jillian Mae photo

Photo courtesy of George Swar.

Features2 The Mission Creeps Incognito’s feature artist

4 Jillian Mae This month’s feature model

15 Horror Deluxe Second music feature

1 Letter from the Editor & Who We Are

8 Beer Reviews

13 The Merritts of Mixology

17 Have You Heard?

18 Album Reviews

20 The Flashback

21 Cinephile Monthly movie reviews

23 Don’t Be That Guy

23 Ask Uncle Sal

25 In Our Next Issue

In Every Issue

iii Incognito Music, Models, and More (October 2012) incognitomusicmagazine.com

HORROR DELUXE

This duo from Brazil describes their sound as “monster voodoo punk.”

New!

New!

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New!

October Special20 Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The B Side!

WELCOME TO INCOGNITO #7Ah Halloween. When you’re a kid, it’s great because of the candy. When you get older it’s also about the candy...albeit the eye candy, which we have given you with our featured model Jillian Mae. We also have given you some excellent options to add to your Halloween playlist, including Brazilian—that’s right, loyal reader, we found a band from Brazil for you—duo Horror Deluxe, who keep it spooky and primitive. Also, you’ll see an interview with The Mission Creeps, which is not only a perfect band for Halloween, but also has a new Halloween album.

What’s that? You want more? Well, more is what we give you. As you’ll notice, we’ve added a column about cocktails by our very own delightful mixologist Carin Merritt—you’re going to love her just as much as we do, I promise. Still not enough for you? Well, loyal reader, you drive a hard bargain, but OK. We also have a guest column by the one and only Helmut “The Bruiser” Von Schoen of rock and roll madmen The Coyote Men. Why? Because when The Bruiser volunteers to write a guest column for you, you let him do it. And you certainly don’t edit a writing voice like his.

As always, I owe a debt of gratitude to our Cinephile Rae Park, for all of her amazing efforts in putting this magazine together. She is not only part of the engine that makes this magazine go, but also the conscience of this operation—I’m telling you...this operation does have a conscience. I want you to do this, loyal reader. If you like the design and layout of this magazine—and of course her movie reviews—follow Rae (@raesblog) and send her a message telling her how amazing you think she is. And while you’re at it, follow our beer panelist Adam (@3guys1movie), our lovely model Jillian Mae (@jillianmae), and our incredibly talented photographer George Swar (georgeswar.wordpress.com). If I do say so myself, you’re about to read the best issue yet—although you can be assured we won’t rest on that.

As always, thanks for reading.

Your humble narrator and guide on this musical journey,Gary Schwind

WHO WE AREIncognito: for the musical omnivoreWhat is Incognito, you ask? Incognito is a magazine for the musical omnivore - the person who loves good music no matter what genre. In this issue, we cover voodoo (it is Halloween after all) from Tuscon to Brazil. In other words, we span the globe to bring you the best in independent music. Just try and find another publication with that kind of range.

Why do we do this? For several reasons. First, we love music. Music is a constant at Incognito HQ and we put this magazine out for all those people out there who wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if they didn’t have music, particularly music that you’ll never find on your radio or maybe even at your local music store. We also do it because a lot of bands have a big budget for publicity. But for every band that is backed by a good amount of money, there are hundreds more that make music because it’s what they love to do. In short, we publish this magazine for every musician and music fan that has ever been in a dark club in a nowhere town on a Tuesday night for one reason only: good music.

We celebrate the bands that live in tour vans eating crappy food, swilling cheap beer, and making just enough money to make it to the next gig. In other words, no matter how you classify the music, we celebrate the rock and roll ethos and we hope you do too.

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2 Incognito Music, Models, and More (October 2012) incognitomusicmagazine.com

The Mission Creeps

Describe The Mission Creeps for someone who has never heard the band.

Our music is for fans of Link Wray meets The Cramps with some Butthole Surfers psychotic mayhem and Stooges raw power mixed together in a bubbling cauldron.

One thing we’ve been told time and again is that our music has space in it, space to breathe. Some suspect its a result of living in the desert. It sets us apart from lots of other bands.

Our current lineup includes Miss Frankie Stein on bass, James Arrr on vocals, guitar and theremin, Mik Garrison on saxophone and keys, and Joseph Elias on drums. Our live shows

are always unique thematically with lights and/or projection along with other surprises.

Tell us about the Halloween album.

We were invited by Southern Arizona Ghost and Paranormal Society to be guest investigators. The investigation took place at a Bed and Breakfast where 28 people died. A video of the investigation is on youtube - http://youtu.be/aywEOtxsaV8.

After the investigation wrapped up, we stayed overnight and were left with a small audio recorder. We set it up and went to sleep. The results of the audio recorded that night yielded many bizarre sounds, shrieks, and screams. It possessed us to lay down music over the sounds.

The Halloween album unfolded from there with each new song idea coming from a very scary place.

Compare and contrast the Halloween album. How is it different from other albums you’ve done?

he Mission Creeps is a band from Tuscon. Miss Frankie Stein (bass) discusses the band’s sound and Halloween album, and why you

Tshould have The Mission Creeps in yourcollection.


Our core sound is dark and creepy. Previous albums had different instrumentation. In Sickness and In Health has guitar, bass, drums, theremin, female backup vocals, a percussionist, accordions, and keys. There’s lots of layers and fun spooky stuff going on. Our second album, Dark Cells is just a power trio. It’s more raw and at the same time more vulnerable. The Paranormal Audio track overtook us. The two of us locked ourselves in our home studio, the Dead Animal Room . We went to work exploring new ways to make the sounds in our heads by any means necessary. You could say Halloween haunted us.

We also have an unreleased recording from some SoCal sessions with Rikki Styxx on drums. The songs return to that edgier live feel. We’re looking forward to getting that album out after Halloween season.

If you were putting together a bill with any two other bands, what bands would you put on the bill with you?

That is a tough question, we are big fans of so many bands. If we had to choose, I imagine a great show would be with Deadbolt and the The Mummies or something like that. If we could play ANY show, it would be with the Cramps and Haunted Garage.

Why should I have your music in my collection?

You should have our music in your collection because you appreciate a good lyric or two and you are also a fan of Halloween, creepy music that has a lot of space.

On the surface, it’s about spooky B-Movie, Spies, themes of Torture and Insanity. In actuality there’s a subtle message beneath the surface that most people don’t get until they really listen to the words.

Our name, for example, most people don’t get that ‘Creeps’ is a verb. We took the name from the military term which is about a mission that slowly creeps into eventual disaster and destruction and there is nothing you can do about it (like most of the other bands we’ve been in).

You should also have us and many other smaller independent bands in your collection because you want to support musicians struggling to maintain that original punk/DIY ethic in whatever musical guise it explores.

What would you be doing if you weren’t making music?

We’d be stirring up trouble. We’d likely be making videos or writing stories about the macabre doings that lie just under the surface of everyday reality!

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illian Mae is a Filipina model from Los Angeles. She is not only gorgeous, but also one of the most delightful people you willJ

ever meet. (Oh, and she likes whiskey...that flask isn't just for decoration, it was filled with Bern-heim wheat whiskey.) She discusses modeling, Halloween, and her love of guns and football. (Whiskey, guns, and football? This is the kind of girl you marry.

Give us the elevator bio of Jillian Mae.

Well, I started out bartending for many years when I lived in the Inland Empire (southern California). I met my first photographer, Harvey Butts, through a friend of mine who happened to be a veteran in the import scene. She encouraged me to give modeling a try and the rest is mostly history from there. I started doing photoshoots, fashion shows, TV shows and also gogo danced at night clubs. I appeared in numerous print and online magazines, traveled around the world, and met many amazing people along the way. Definitely an experience that I will never forget. Learned a lot along the way. I would never take it back for the world.

What is makeitrain.tv and is your role with it?

Makeitrain.tv (@makeitraintv) is unlike any reality show you've seen. The goal is giving back to people in this time of hardship and sending the positive message that every little bit makes a difference, something I feel has lacked as a value in our society for many years. I'm very proud to be a part of this project as one of the rain girls (@theraingirlz) and the weather girl with such an amazing group of people that care enough to make a difference in peoples lives. It's a one of a kind show.

What is your favorite thing about Halloween?

My favorite thing about Halloween would definitely be the dressing up. It's the one time out of the year you can dress in costume and no one will think you're crazy. Halloween is not my favorite holiday though. I like dressing up everyday, not just Halloween, hence why I enjoyed modeling so much.

We understand you enjoy going to the shooting range. What kinds of guns do you normally fire?

What is your favorite and why?

Yes, very much so. It's like my therapy. I have weekly family outings to the outdoor shooting ranges since we normally use long range automatics. My dad has a range of guns from hand guns to shotguns to fully automatic rifles. I would definitely prefer a long-range gun over a short. My favorite gun would have to be the M-14 just because the recoil isn't as harsh as the AR-15. It's lightweight, yet accuracy-wise is the same as the AR-15.

We also understand that you are a football fan.

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Who is your team? What could we expect if we sit down to watch a game with you?

Raider nation baby! Mostly because they used to be an LA team. I got love for all LA teams since I'm born and raised in LA. That's where my heart is and will always be. Watching the Raider games is the hardest thing for me! A lot of nervousness, clammy hands, uncontrollable knee shaking and yelling at the opposing team! It's just hard being a Raider fan period! But I take the good with the bad. I support them win or lose.

What is the most challenging part of modeling? What is the most rewarding?

Modeling is very rewarding if your heart is in the right place and if your doing it for the right reasons and goals. I wasn't the pretty girl in high school. I did it because I knew I had more to offer to the industry than just looks. Most models are under a lot of pressure, scrutiny, and criticism because they are constantly being judged on looks. It's part of the job. The most challenging part is being able to be comfortable


in your own skin and not letting the opinion of others reflect how you feel about yourself. At the end of the day, looks fade, but the confidence and self fulfillment I gained from the modeling experience doesn't.

What's next for Jillian Mae? Aside from world domination of course.

Hmm, Other than world domination,....I would have to say being a successful business owner. Nothing about "working for someone else" was ever appealing to me. Being able to be your own boss is unlike any other feeling. It's a feeling of personal achievement, which will always be a goal of mine.

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The Best and Wurst Of

Beer reviews by the Incognito beer panel


I ask you, loyal reader, how could we review anything other than Oktoberfest beers for the October issue? Let’s face it. These (mostly) delicious beers are only around for a short time each year, so you have to get them while you can.

Our regular panel was joined (not for the last time, if I have anything to say about it) by independent sommelier (look it up) Shannon Latting, who has worked at The Montage in Laguna Beach and The Ritz-Carlton in Dana Point, California. We rated three German Oktoberfests, one American Oktoberfest, and one imperial Oktoberfest. In this edition of the beer panel, we learned that any amount of sour is too much for Adam, and we learned what John would drink on a desert island.

Adam - Man of leisureGary - The man behind the whole operationJason - Bearded dude and sports fanaticJohn - The wiseass Shannon Latting - Beverage expert

Editor’s note: As a sommelier, Shannon knows her stuff and gives a very thorough and technical description of each beer. It is different, and we hope you’ll agree her presence makes the beer panel better.

How it works

Gary purchases five beers of a particular style and pours them blind for the other panelists. While Gary knows what he pours, he generally has not tried the beers he selected for the beer panel. When every panelist has the sample of the beer, they study the technical aspects of it. As the sample is consumed, each panelist makes notes (it’s hard work I tell ya) on the criteria you see in the article. Gary reveals the beer only after everyone has rated it and in general, the panelists discuss the beer only after all have rated it. That’s how it works. Now let’s get to our reviews of Oktoberfest (Marzen) beers.

SpatenTechnical StuffAdam: Light amber color with a slight head.Gary: The color is right, like a new penny. It’s a little hazy and has a decent head. Some definite caramel malt notes on the nose.Jason: Light caramel color with a slight head.

John: Nice amber color. It has a very yeasty smell and light head retention.Shannon: Medium amber (medium concentration of amber color at the core). It’s a pale straw color on the rim. It smells nutty with faint caramel/molasses notes.

TasteAdam: Yummy and light with some orange flavor.Gary: It’s malty up front and has a nice, dry hop finish. It’s very clean. Jason: It’s tasty and light. It goes down nicely.John: It’s hearty and earthy up front. Sticky- sugary taste with a slight yeast aftertaste.Shannon: It’s dry and malty with a medium acidity, nutty on the palate.

I would drink this:Adam: Daily.Gary: Pretty happily even when it’s not Oktoberfest.Jason: On a hot summer night.John: If you forced me to. It’s a session beer.Shannon: At an afternoon concert or party.

I would recommend this to:Adam: People who like subtlety and want a lighter beer.Gary: Just about anyone.Jason: My light-beer drinking friends that wanted to try something different.John: A boy in lederhosen.Shannon: Mid-20s to 30s celebrators.

Overall impressionAdam: I can see drinking a lot of this in one sitting.Gary. This goes down real easy. If you’re at Oktoberfest, you could session this with no problem.Jason: This is a good easy-drinking beer.John: It’s OK.Shannon: This beer is very well-balanced.

Food-pairing suggestionsAdam: ChickenGary: Any kind of fowl. Duck would be a good pairing with this.Jason: Sausage and peppers.John: I would use this as a liquid to cook sau-sage and onions. I’d pair it with cheese-based soups.Shannon: pulled pork.


Score (out of 10)Adam: 6.7Gary: 8.8Jason: 7John: 5Shannon: 8

AyingerTechnical StuffAdam: Light amber color with a small head.Gary: It has a bright copper color, a pretty decent head and some caramel malt notes on the nose.Jason: Golden brown with a light head.John: It has a yeasty smell and an almost sparkly color with a low head.Shannon: Medium amber (medium concentration of amber color at the core). It’s a pale straw color on the rim. Sweet and sour citrus notes.

TasteAdam: It’s light and effervescent, with an aftertaste I didn’t care for.Gary: It’s very malty. The hop note comes through at the end, but it finishes kind of flat. Jason: It’s carbonated and yeasty, a little heavy with some bitterness.John: It has an orange taste up front and a wonderfully sour aftertaste.Shannon: Malty, medium body and acidity with a creamy texture.

I would drink this:Adam: I probably wouldn’t. It’s too sour for me.Gary: Once I’m already schnockered.Jason: In small amounts once in a blue moon.John: On a warm afternoon when it’s kind of muggy.Shannon: In a restaurant setting with a composed dish.

I would recommend this to:Adam: Men who wear capri pants.Gary: People who equate Oktoberfest beers with Sam Adams.Jason: Coca-Cola drinkers.John: Anyone with a solid palate.Shannon: A moderately-priced restaurant.

Overall impressionAdam: I don’t care for it.Gary. It’s not horrible, but it’s not great either.Jason: It’s not my favorite. It’s a little too yeasty and carbonated.

John: Very good.Shannon: It is well-balanced, but driven by a creamy texture.

Food-pairing suggestionsAdam: ChickenGary: Bratwurst.Jason: Chicken fajitas.John: Duck or a liver-based dish.Shannon: Chicken with olive tapenade or a chicken dish with orange segments.

Score (out of 10)Adam: 5.7Gary: 5.5Jason: 6John: 7.5Shannon: 8

WeienstephanerTechnical StuffAdam: It’s pale yellow with a minimal head.Gary: It’s golden and transparent with a good head and a skunky hop aroma.Jason: Golden color, smells citrusy, little head.John: Golden and clear.Shannon: Medium concentration of gold color at the core with a pale straw color on the rim.

TasteAdam: This is light, sweet, and fruity.Gary: It has a sugary malt note and floral hop character. It’s very clean.Jason: It has a good clean taste with a nice finish and some citrus notes.John: Sour apple taste up front, smooth, hoppy middle. The aftertaste is yeasty and a little sour.Shannon: Notes of white nuts (macadamia, cashew) and fruit (lemon pulp and orange pulp). It has a medium acidity and would be great for foods with this acidity.

I would drink this...Adam: When it’s hot and you feel like taking your clothes off.Gary: On a train, in the rain, in the house with a mouse.Jason: During Oktoberfest.John: In a dinner setting or in a horse barn at a race track.Shannon: With bitter greens and fruit at the beginning of a meal.


I would recommend this to...Adam: Someone who is averse to hops.Gary: People who enjoy a sweeter beer.Jason: Someone who wants a quality Oktoberfest beer.John: Anyone born in 1040 AD.Shannon: A midday lunch crowd.

Overall impressionAdam: It’s a nice, light selection that I could drink a lot of.Gary. The more I drink, the more I like it. I have the feeling this could get me into trouble.Jason: It’s a good easy-drinking beer with a zesty finish.John: I need a Big Gulp cup to get the flavor.Shannon: It’s a lighter style that’s really good and approachable.

Food-pairing suggestionsAdam: Sausage and pepperoni pizzaGary: Pork tenderloin with date sauce.Jason: pork chops.John: Chicken marsala, Indian food.Shannon: Salad with ahi tuna or chicken and fruit.

Score (out of 10)Adam: 7.4Gary: 7.5Jason: 8John: 7.5Shannon: 8

Hangar 24Technical StuffAdam: It’s bronze with a small head.Gary: I don’t smell anything at first. It’s a hazy amber/copper color with a good head.Jason: Medium brown.John: Golden and cloudy like Cloud City, yeasty and funky.Shannon: Medium concentration of amber-orange at the core, yellow rim with tight bubbles and medium viscosity.

TasteAdam: Like used sweat socks.Gary: What am I tasting? It’s very dry.Jason: It’s hard to tell. It has some carbonation, but it’s not very tasty.John: Nice bite up front, but what is it?Shannon: Some caramel, molasses, cheese rind.

It’s musty, earthy, and mushroomy.

I would drink this...Adam: If I was mad at myself.Gary: If you poured it down my gullet.Jason: To get drunk out of desperation.John: On a desert island, but only as a form of hydration.Shannon: Late at night after a lot of beers, or if you forced it down my throat.

I would recommend this to...Adam: People who I hold a grudge with, or people who plan to vote for Romney.Gary: People who know very little about beer.Jason: Not many people.John: No one.Shannon: Not a lot of people.

Overall impressionAdam: I did not finish my sample. ‘Nuff said.Gary. I’d never knowingly order this.Jason: It’s very average.John: I’d like it if it was completely different.Shannon: Meh.

Food-pairing suggestionsAdam: RoadkillGary: PopcornJason: ChipsJohn: Wood chipsShannon: Pork chops or ham hocks with sauteed mushrooms.

Score (out of 10)Adam: 2.7Gary: 2.5Jason: 5John: -1Shannon: 2

Avery - The KaiserTechnical StuffAdam: Dark amber with a slight head.Gary: Smells like a good alcohol content. It’s hazy copper-orange with an OK head.Jason: Oaky, dark brown with hints of gold and some head.John: It has a big odor of honey, malt, yeast, bananas, and grapefruit. Nice dark amber color.Shannon: Bronzed amber at the core with a yellow rim, medium viscosity.


TasteAdam: Bodacious and flavorful. Is it aged in an oak barrel?Gary: Wow! Toasty malt flavor up front. I can really taste the alcohol. Jason: Oaky, caramel, heavy and tasty.John: Big taste! Very powerful notes of yeast—almost astringent. Very complex, rich taste. A lot is going on here - hard to decipher all the different tastes.Shannon: It’s creamy and malty with a hint of almonds and dark nuts. It also has some lemon pulp and sour citrus notes.

I would drink this...Adam: While watching football.Gary: Gladly.Jason: As a nightcap.John: Warmer than most beers. Like a wine, it needs to open up.Shannon: In the evening accompanied by a full-bodied meat dish.

I would recommend this to...Adam: People with non-ironic facial hair.Gary: Anyone looking to get hosed real quick.Jason: Someone looking for a tasty Oktoberfest beer.Shannon: The main course at a tasting menu.

Overall impressionAdam: This would get you messed up pretty quick.Gary. This hits hard, but it goes down easy and that is why it’s trouble. I can’t think of a situa-tion where I wouldn’t drink this...unless I had to operate heavy machinery.Jason: It’s a solid beer, but it’s not something you’re going to drink a ton of.John: It’s complex and confusing but very nice. Me likey. I can taste the alcohol.Shannon: It’s very good!

Food-pairing suggestionsAdam: Cream cheese, habanero jelly, and crack-ers Gary: CheesecakeJason: Jalapeno poppersJohn: From ham to halibut, cheese to cheesecakeShannon: Beef stew or beef kabobs.

Score (out of 10)Adam: 8.4Gary: 9.5Jason: 8.3John: 9Shannon: 10


If there is just one thing I have found to be true of human nature, it is that we have the need to celebrate and distract ourselves from the harder parts of life. In these celebrations, three constants remain: the importance of great food, the tradition of dressing up, and most importantly, at least for this article, the influence of alcohol on it all.I’m a woman of the 21st century. I love to celebrate and if there isn’t an excuse to

do so I have never had a problem making one. However, I am not much of a cook. I love looking classy and fashionably put together. That being said, most of the time I make it out of the house with a messy bun and workout clothes. Which brings me to the category in which I am fully confident in my expertise: booze. I know. What a catch! Stand in line, boys!

The Merritts of MixologyThe Zombie: Apocalypse Pow!

byCarin Merritt

I’ll introduce myself by duly noting that I am of Irish decent and I have years of drinking under my belt. Basically, I appreciate most things with alcohol in it. Research has taken on a whole new meaning for me and I am more than ecstatic to share my knowledge with you, loyal reader. Some may consider me a lush, I consider myself an alcohol enthusiast. I appreciate drinks with a history, good flavor, and of course, a kick. You will never hear me suggest a Scooby Snack, a frozen strawberry margarita, or anything of a frou-frou nature.

In this edition of The Merritt’s of Mixology, I want to talk about the antithesis of a frou-frou drink. Loyal reader, allow me to introduce one of my favorite spirits befitting of the Halloween…spirit. It has just the right venomous bite and the perfect name: the Zombie.

Oh, the Zombie, terrorizing drinkers for seven decades. This concoction is just as famous for its history as it is for its ferocious effects. It originated from one Don Beach of Hollywood’s Beachcomber restaurant. The story goes that in the late 1930’s, he prepared the cocktail for a customer looking to cure a debilitating hangover. Don believed in the hair of the dog method. (So do I.) He mixed light rum, dark rum, and gold rum amongst a plethora of “secret ingredients.” When I say plethora, I mean that the Zombie makes the Long Island Ice Tea appear to look like a glass of, well, tea.

After bravely consuming the inventive drink, a few days later, the customer came back. He told Don that the drink was so powerful it made him feel like a zombie for days and days. Light bulb! That moment gave the cocktail its name. It quickly became a notorious drink in the Tiki culture. In fact, in its heyday, customers were limited to a maximum of two drinks because of the alcohol content.

It baffled me to think that anyone should be forced to stop after two libations. That’s what I call getting started. So I tried, and I can tell you that two is indeed enough to make anyone completely inebriated.

Frankly, two is equivalent to eight of your usual drinks.

The beauty behind the Zombie is that it can be modified to fit any person’s taste while still remaining true to the original creation. Because of Don’s secrecy toward all of his recipes, in the years of its being, the Zombie has morphed into many different variations. As a basis, I like to think of it as a freaky, twisted Mai Tai. Its ingredients include three types of rum, lime juice, falernum, angostura bitters, pernod, grenadine, and “Don’s Mix,” a combination of cinnamon syrup and grapefruit juice. Don’t worry. I do not know what falernum is either. In the hopes that you readers may be encouraged to try the Zombie yourself, a more accessible version is provided as follows:

Ingredients:¾ ounce white rum1 ½ ounces gold rum1 ounce dark rum½ ounce 151-proof rum1 ounce lime juice1 ounce pineapple juice*1 ounce orange juice*½ ounce triple sec or apricot brandy*1 teaspoon sugar(dash of grenadine if you choose)

Tools:Mixing tinStrainerHurricane glass (or approx. 22oz glass)Mint leafFruit garnish of your choice

Instructions:Fill a hurricane glass with ice. Grab a mixing tin with ice and pour in the light, dark, and gold rums. Add your juices and sugar.

Cover the mixing tin and shake well. Strain the mixture into the hurricane glass. Float the Bacardi 151 by slowly pouring it on the top. Take a mint leaf, lemon wedge and lime wedge (for example) and place them on top of the drink or along the rim.

Skip the costume and become a zombie for a few nights. Enjoy. Happy Halloween.

note** anything can be used to substitute juices including apricot brandy, cherry brandy, coco-nut milk, grapefruit, passion fruit, etc.)


Horror Deluxe: A musical horror-comic book

You describe your sound as monster voodoo punk? What does that mean?

Prix: It’s a mix of all styles I like: punk rock, instrumental surf, psychobilly, garage rock, new wave and post-punk. My drums remind everyone of a tribal thing. It’s natural. We’re a musical Frankenstein.

Ucra: The term ‘Voodoo Punk’ comes from Mexican comics by the Hernandez Bros. We love ‘em. We have macumba all around here. And we live in an industrial area. I think these elements

are present in our sounds and style. What inspires your songs?

Prix: Movies, fantastic art and creeping music. I like strong beats - the old Gabba Gabba School.

Ucra: Sci-Fi, the 50’s horror comic Books. Why did you decide to be a two-piece bandinstead of trying to add members?

Prix: We’re free to create in our lab. It works. It’s fine.

Ucra: The first time we played was amazing. We saw we wouldn’t need anyone else sharing a bedroom with us. We wanna be alone. This band is a chance to do anything we want. What is the best part of a Horror Deluxe live show?

Ucra: It’s an Hypnosis session. One day one guy came to me after a show and said: ‘Thanks

orror Deluxe is a duo from Brazil (you see, loyal reader...we search the earth to bring you the best music) that describesH

its sound as monster voodoo punk. I heard this band on GaragePunk.com and was immediately hooked by the primitive sound that could easily be the soundtrack for a B horror movie. Prix (drums) and Ucra (guitar, vocals) discusses its sound, the decision to remain a two-piece band, and the perfect setting for listening to their music.

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for making me love my weirdness’. I told Prix:gotta go ahead with this therapy’.

Prix: It’s a challenge. We’re two characters making you dance to a sound we love. It’s awesome. Why should I have your music in my collection?

Prix: Cos’ it’s always something new. We wanna surprise in each new album.

Ucra: It puts you in good mood for the nowadays zombie robot reality. It’s a horror comic book in music format. If you were putting a bill together with any other two bands, who would you want to perform with? Why?

Prix: One of them would be The 5,6,7,8’s cos’ they rock hard and make me dance. Los Peyotes would be a great name. We love Savage Rock. I love Bam Bam Rivero. What is the perfect setting for listening to Horror Deluxe?

Prix: In the pool at night. Ucra: On your car smoking cigars. On your bed sucking the neck of your girl. What would you be doing if you weren’t making music?

Ucra: It’s a secret.

Have You Heard?

The Ghastly Ones Maybe you don’t think of instrumental surf when you think of Halloween music. That just tells me that you’ve never heard The Ghastly Ones. I mean, can you think of a more perfect name for a band in the Halloween issue? OK, so maybe it’s not quite as scary as a Rob Zombie album, but still with song names like “Haulin’ Hearse” and “Surfin’ Spooks” (a song with lots of cool shrieks and cackles in the background), this band fits right into this issue. If you like instrumental surf music, frankly it doesn’t get a lot better than The Ghastly Ones.

DeadboltToo obvious, you say. Perhaps. But this is the “scariest band in the world,” so I ask you, loyal reader, how am I supposed to leave Deadbolt out of this issue? I once heard someone describe Deadbolt this way, “If Memphis were on the highway to hell, Deadbolt would be the house

band at the truckstop.” Frankly, I don’t think I could say it any better than that. This is a band that is one part rockabilly, one part voodoo rock and all awesome. If there is one band you absolutely need to include on your Halloween playlist, Deadbolt is it.

The VooduoThis is a two-piece band from Long Beach, CA, that is perfect for Halloween. The band’s most recent album is called The Rock and Roll Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Rock and Roll Zombies. Yes, it’s quite a mouthful and it’s a hell of an album that has songs like “Groovy Ghoul” and “Shrunken Head.” If you like your rock and roll primitive and a little spooky, check out The Vooduo.


The Creeping IviesThis UK duo is absolutely one of the favorite bands I have found this year. And it’s not just me. My older son (he’s three and a half) recently discovered The Ghost Train EP on my iPod and he loves it too. That’s the thing about kids. They often connect with music that is primitive. And The Creeping Ivies is primitive for sure.

album reviews

The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn BandBetween the Ditchesbigdamnband.com

The Big Damn Band makes some good damn tunes. I could leave the review at that, but that doesn’t really help anyone. This band has three pieces and all three members are really good at what they do. The Reverend Peyton can pick the guitar like nobody’s business, and the slide on his National guitar gives the band its distinct sound. Add in the drums and washboard, and this band can get your foot stompin’. Don’t believe me? Just try to keep your foot still when you hear the song “Shut the Screen.” I don’t put many songs on repeat, but I sure have with this one. This is exactly what you would expect from the good Reverend. It’s 14 songs with a down-home sound that makes you want to get the nearest empty jug to play along as you listen. Fans of The Reverend will not be disappointed with this album. If you don’t really know this

band yet, what are you waiting for? Get this album. A little foot stompin’ will do you good.

Those Threethosethree1.bandcamp.com

Admittedly, it’s not easy for bands to do something that has not been heard before. The thing is, even if a band can’t claim a completely original sound, it can do something a little different. Take Those Three for instance. This is a band that takes progressive rock and 90s Britpop and melds them together. The guitar parts definitely bring to mind some of the prog rock bands of the past. Just listen to the solo in “Powers.” It isn’t power chords for sure. The rhythms are pretty progressive too. The vocals (provided by drummer Lorena Cachito), is where the 90s Britpop comparison comes in, mostly because Cachito’s voice reminds me of Harriet from The Sundays. If you like progressive rock, Those Three is a good band to check out.


Double Naught Spy CarWestern Violence

Writing about all-instrumental albums can be a little tricky because there is obviously no comparison to draw to a vocalist. But with a band like Double Naught Spy Car, it’s a little easier simply because the band covers so much ground. This album begins with a song (“Halliburton Snowboard”) that would be great in a spy thriller. That is followed by a lounge/exotica song called “The Eyegore of One.” From there, the band goes through psychedelia and a song that sounds like it belongs in a spaghetti western. Oh, and then there is the funniest song on the album “Journey to the Center of Guitar Center.” This song is no doubt dedicated to those guys that sit in Guitar Center playing metal solos so everyone can here their virtuosity. This album is like an instrumental sampler platter. If you like instrumental music with a lot of variety, this album belongs in your collection.

PebalunaCarny Life

There are some vocalists who can grab your attention immediately. Lauren Coleman is one of them. In the first song on CArny Life, Coleman’s voice has a soulful, jazzy quality. Which makes sense, because in the bio info, it says she grew up listening to Aretha Franklin. This is another band that defies easy description. You could call it soulful indie folk and you wouldn’t be wrong. However, there is some orchestration on this album that adds a lot of depth and layers of sound to the music. This band gives a lot of good stuff: excellent melodies, layers of sound, good stories. If you’re a fan of Tom Waits or Norah Jones, you should cehck out Pebaluna.


The Flashback

When it comes to Halloween music, people probably think about The Cramps, or maybe Misfits. And while I'm not knocking those selections, this rockabilly album should be an essential for your Halloween playlist. It begins with a song about the spirit of a woman who was buried by a river. But it gets better. Rockin' Ryan also does a fantastic cover of the classic "I'm The Wolfman." Do yourself a favor. If you have kids, play this song for them. No, not to scare them. If your kids are anything like my older son, they will try to imitate Rockin' Ryan's growl. Instant hilarity.

To continue with the Halloween theme, this album also has songs called "Open up the Casket" and "Headstone Rock." If you're having a Halloween party, put this album on your playlist. It will get your guests moving and singing (growling) along.

Rockin’ Ryan and the Real Goners Cry of Midnight

(Golly Gee Records, 2006)

Everything looks better round the back door! Get hip to the flip. The Bruiser's fave rave enclave is open for bizniz.

1. "Why Cant I Touch It?" by Buzzcocks Breakin' all The Bruiser’s rools! On paper it’s a mess...way too long! A band without a "The”. A bassonist rockin a past-the-knee leather jacket?! But hell’s teeth Keith this is the jizz! Why wouldn't you touch it? A wigged-out psych-why-delic relic from the dark days of punk rock haze…n' the flip aint no cripp either!

2. "This Heat/Trying for Kicks" by Generation X A double whammie Sammy! Two topper most of thee popper most tracks on one slab o' red wax! I stand tall and proud of my L.U.V. of Billy 'N' the boys on everything afore the shortafied moniker to Gen X but what's with this thing of not havin "THE" in front of yer handle?

3. "I Love You You Big Dummy" by Magazine Another group who don't wanna waste Letraset on includin' "The" on their posters! Now let’s get one thing straight. The Bruiser ain’t givin the thumbs up to Captain Beefheart. (There's only one Captain worth his salt in the rekkid biz 'n' he aint knockin' around with Tenille! Talkin about Randy Captain Dynamite Hornocker of the world-famed Coyote Men!) As I've never sought out the original because why wud ya? When chrome dome Art Tart Howie says "We are on" at the start he aint lyin'!

4. "Loyola" by The Dictators Sure enuf! If yer spells yer name Adny instead of Andy yer cool. If you put Loyola on the flip of this major misslip "I Am Right" you drool! C'mon! A rerecordin of "Loyola" cudv'e knocked 'em dead in Dorset! I ain’t puttin the 'tators down and will go toe to toe with any Joe who does! But sometimes yer thought process takes a recess 'n' this was one. I checked....'n' you were wrong! "I

Am Right" is garbage!

Right here we go now. Last of the line of Helmut "The Bruiser" Von Schoen picks the B-sides...'n' it is a life changin' mind rearrangin' punk rock monster! Let's talk about sex baby! Sex Pistols that is! First tune to hit my noggin' on the upside like a forearm smash from The Lighting Beat Man himself! The Stooges? They can kiss my ring. Rotten blew my pre teen spleen asunder with the wonder of Pretty Vacant flipside "No Fun"! Yeah, yeah! The Stooges version is fandabbiedozie but it'd be way down the pike afore Detroit would climb in the ring 'n' tickle Helmut's cauliflowers. The Pistols took the attitude of "if it aint broken...break it" 'n' put it under the thunder of the Cook/Jones/Matlock/Rotten pulveriser. Maybe I dug it cos the drums kept a hypnotic jungle beat? The guitar slashed primal yet tuneful power chords that rung like a bell? The bass weaved an in-toxicating countermelody? Nope. I liked the fact that these bozos said "Fuck!" on a record! Hey, I was only 11. OK I gotta scaramoosh 'n' wash my fandango! Catch you later masturbators.

Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The B Side!

The five best B sides (look it up, kiddos)by

Helmut “The Bruiser” Von Schoen (of The Coyote Men)


CinephileMovie Reviews

By Rachel “Rae” Park

If you’re looking for something to watch with the kids, we’ve got that here. Prefer a little more action? Are you a secret (or perhaps one very loud and proud) Joseph Gordon-Levitt fan? We’ve got something picked out for you here too. How about yet another movie about a writer? We’ve got one of those here for you this month as well.

We’re back down to just three movie reviews this month, but that just means there’s more room to talk about each film. So without further ado, onto the reviews!

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

Starring: CJ Adams, Jennifer Garner, Joel Edgerton, Odeya Rush, CommonRuntime: 104 minutes

This movie is a bit nostalgic of the kids movies some people may remember fondly from the ‘90s. It doesn’t have the same exact “classic” feel, but it comes pretty close. The story is charming

and CJ Adams as little Timothy really grows on you the way he should; it’s pretty easy to root for him and his parents all the way through. There’s plenty of funny and heartfelt moments scattered throughout, but if you’re one put off by a movie filled with predictability and clichés, then this one probably isn’t for you.

Premium Rush Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Dania Ramirez, Michael Shannon, Wolé Parks, Jamie ChungRuntime: 91 minutes

It’s a movie that some people may walk in expecting to hate due to what seems at first glance like a really lame bike thriller-chase movie, but are drawn in either because of said biking or to see Joseph Gordon-Levitt on screen. Myself personally, I was drawn in by both, and I will say I was definitely surprised by how much I ended up enjoying it. (Though it is by no means a


classic.) This is basically Jason Statham’s Transporter, except on bikes, and with considerably less muscle. Some of the acting may come across as camp, but there’s a bit of an ongoing joke and some pretty awesome bike stunts done by JGL’s character that kind of makes up for that. If you’re looking to watch something quick and easy that doesn’t require a lot of thought, this is probably something you might want to check out.

The Words

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Dennis Quaid, Zoe Saldana, Jeremy Irons, Ben Barnes, Nora Arnezeder, Olivia Wilde Runtime: 96 minutes

Unlike Ruby Sparks, which we covered last issue, The Words is more melancholy in tone. It also can be a little much to follow, as it is not just a story within a story, it’s a story within a story within yet another story. (How about that, Christopher Nolan?) Unlike Inception though, the whole tri-layer storytelling doesn’t always work. For those of you who are huge fans of Dennis Quaid and Olivia Wilde, you might be a little disappointed here—the two of them don’t nearly receive as much screen time as the rest of the cast. Overall, while potentially worth watching at least once, this might be one better suited as a rental.

The Ratings

5 Stars: A great movie that can be considered timeless or classic. (Equivalent to an A+)

4.5 Stars: Solid story, but may leave a few plot ends loose or there may be inconsistencies. (Equivalent to an A, A-)

4 Stars: Good story, but there’s clear room for improvement in some areas. (Equivalent to a B+, B)

3.5 Stars: A movie lacking in “wow” factor. (Equivalent to a B-)

3 Stars: Flat average viewing experience; not great, but not horrible either. (Equivalent to a C+)

2.5 Stars: A movie that passes the time; watch in theaters if you have an itch to see a movie. (Equivalent to a C)

2 Stars: More of a DVD rental type of movie. (Equivalent to a C-)

1.5 Stars: Very difficult to stay interested; at times seems to drag or go on too long. (Equivalent to a D+)

1 Star: Very little perks; consider as a rainy day movie. (Equivalent to a D)

1/2 Star: A very select few may enjoy this movie.(Equivalent to a D-)

0 Stars: Boring; great movie to catch your Z’s in–may have been a pain to finish or impossible to finish–possibly even a movie someone would walk out on. (Equivalent to an F)

Ratings scale based on, but differs slightly fromcuttingedgecreativity.wordpress.com. Visit CEC for more extensive reviews of each of these movies, including those not featured in Incognito due to space limitations.


Yes, loyal reader, we here at Incognito HQ are always looking to give you more. After all, it’s part of the name of this fine publication. And so, as a service to you, we present the first edition of Don’t Be That Guy. If you are that guy, hopefully reading this will give you some self-realization. More likely, if you know that guy, by all means, pass this along to him.

You walk into your favorite watering hole and take a seat. You order your beverage and before it even arrives, the guy (he might be on the stool next to you, he might be a couple stools over) says, “Hey. How’s it going?”

“Fine,” you answer.

“Name’s Chad (or Dan...whatever).”

At this point you’re already wishing you had at least half a beverage in you because you know this guy’s going to be more than you can handle. Since your mama didn’t raise you to be rude, you introduce yourself and turn your attention to whatever is on television (yes, even if it’s a replay of a basketball game you just watched the previous evening).

You now have your beverage in front of you, but it’s not all good news. Let’s just say it’s a basketball game on television. That guy makes some comment about the game, probably questioning the defensive strategy of one of the coaches. Then he’ll question why the coach doesn’t take a time out immediately after his team goes down by eight points. But you haven’t even heard the worst of it. If you’re not already drinking liquor, you order some. That guy thinks a shot is a good idea and asks the bartender to pour him a shot of whatever you’re having. Then he’ll toast you and tell you all about the liquor you’re drinking. Lord help you if it’s bourbon, because then he tells you all about Kentucky too.

At some point in the basketball game, that guy starts talking about the backup power forward. You don’t care because you’ve never even heard of the player he’s talking about. But that guy swears to you that this backup power

Don’t Be That Guyforward is awesome and he once saw said power forward score 25 points and grab 13 rebounds in a game. “He was unstoppable.” You wonder why some unstoppable player is a backup. But it gets worse. He tells you all about the backup power forward...more than you could learn from the player’s girlfriend. And you wonder if the guy sitting next to you is the agent for this backup power forward, who had maybe only one good game in his pro career...if you can trust the word of his agent sitting next to you.

You end up having multiple shots with that guy because he’s buying and he just needs an audience. When he orders that fourth shot, you realize that this could go on all night if you don’t do something about it. So you tell him you have a meeting in the morning (yes, even if it’s a Friday night), excuse yourself and leave that guy for the next poor sap that sits on your stool.

You know this guy even if you don’t know his name. It’s best to avoid him if you can. Don’t be that guy.

ASK UNCLE SAL

Dear Uncle Sal,

As a woodchuck, I hate the phrase, “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?” Little known fact: most woodchucks don’t go around throwing things. Any advice on shedding the bad image other woodchucks have given the rest of us?

Sincerely,A Worked Up Woodchuck


Dear WUW,

Boy I gotta tell ya, I never knew a woodchuck could type. Frankly, I didn’t know any animal could type. Except for this dastardly chipmunk. See, when I was writin’ my novel Cascade Splash, I did what a lotta writers do and went to a secluded cabin in the woods. Cliche? Maybe. But it worked. I finished the novel there. Anyway, there was this nasty little chipmunk who would come in the window and run across the keys of my typewriter any time I got up to get a drink or use the can. Course, I’d have to pull that page out and start it all over. It ain’t exactly typin’, but it’s as close as I ever saw until now.

Ya know, WUW, now that I think about it, you write so well, ya oughta give lessons to some of my readers. Some letters I get, it’s kinda like the writer paid no regard to the order of the letters that appeared on the screen. But you, you didn’t just type it without errors, your grammar is perfect too. That’s sump’n else.

But onto yer question. I gotta say, I never seen any woodchuck chuck wood neither. But then how would a woodchuck throw anything with them short legs? The thing is, sometimes an entire group gets a bad reputation for the actions of a few that misbehave. I think what ya oughta do is when ya see a woodchuck chuckin’ wood, chuck it right back at ‘em and tell ‘em that ain’t how a civilized woodchuck behaves. That don’t work, I say bite his tail. Maybe he’ll understand that.

Dear Uncle Sal,

It’s about bloodlines.

I’ve used ketchup for years to perk up the look of my Halloween yard. Now last year, the geezer next door comes and tells me that the ketchup thing is not a good idea because it’s attracting possums into the neighborhood.

I’m planning my extravaganza but don’t know what to use. The new stuff on the market in those tubes just looks so fake.

I want it so real that I wake up to find the guys from CSI out front taking pictures, you know what I mean?

Any tips for me?

Signed,Bloody Mary

Mary,

Yer neighbor is right about this one. Ketchup will bring the possums and the raccoons into the neighborhood. But more’n that, it’ll bring stoners into yer neighborhood. I tell ya, stoners get a scent of that ketchup and they’re gonna bring the fries they just bought from the Burger Barn to sop up the Halloween decorations ya worked so hard on. And then, they’ll prolly pass out on yer lawn. Say, that wouldn’t be half bad, I reckon. Add a touch of reality to yer setup. On second thought, ya prolly don’t want that because if they smell ya cookin’ breakfast in the morning, they’re gonna want ya to feed ‘em.

But that ain’t what ya asked, is it? So lemme answer yer question. The best recipe for fake blood for yer purposes is a mixture of flour, water, and red food coloring. Just blend the three of them things together until it’s the right consistency and add it to yer decorations.

Oh, and by the way, if them boys from CSI come by to take pictures, don’t offer ‘em any coffee. They’ll consider that an invitation to stay, and frankly ya prolly don’t have enough coffee in the house to satisfy them fellas.


Enjoy this column? Want more Uncle Sal? Look no farther. Purchase copies of the Uncle

Sal Chronicles on Amazon!

Don’t delay! Scan the QR code or visit amzn.to/RzogBA today!

Movies rated by beers!We review movies by beers, not stars. We give bad movies more beer, it actually makes them better. Movie reviews for beer drinkers. Beer > Tomatoes.

MovieBoozer.com’s ratings always start with A Toast. If you’re like us, then you like a cold one in your hand anytime you’re watching a movie. You’re no alcoholic, but you like a good beer whenever you are seated and watching for example: a daughter’s ballet recital, a Nascar race, a tennis match, a baseball game, strippers… you get the idea.

As the movie gets tougher to watch, adding beers make what you’re watching better, hopefully. The worst possible rating is a Six Pack. We know that some of you need more than that to start forgetting things, and some of you start heading for the fat chicks when somebody opens a beer in the room. Adjust accordingly.

MovieBoozerMovies Measured by the Pint!

A Toast! Great Movie! Movies Rated One Beer:127 Hours, 500 Days of Summer, A Christmas Story, Bad Santa, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Black Swan, Caddyshack, Dead Man, Die Hard, Drive, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, , Finding Nemo (2003)Game Change, Hanna, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, Hobo With a Shotgun, Jaws, Kung Fu Panda 2, Martha Marcy May Marlene, Middle Men, Moneyball, Moonrise Kingdom, National Lampoon’s Animal House, Pan’s Labyrinth, Papillon, ParaNorman, Paris is Burning, Quills, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Restrepo, Return Of The Living Dead, Ted, The Artist, The Avengers, The Cabin in the Woods, The Fighter, The Getaway, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, The Goonies, The Kid, The King’s Speech, The Muppets, The Social Network, The Thing (1982), The Tillman Story, Titanic, Toy Story 3, True Grit, Warrior (2011)

We Are What We Are, Where the Wild Things Are, White Dog, White Heat, Working Girl, Young Einstein

Six-Pack! Do not be sober for these movies! 6 Beers:2-Headed Shark Attack, A Thousand Words, Alvin and the Chipmunks in Chipwrecked, Atlas Shrugged: Part 1, Bad Biology, Beastly, Blubberella, Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star, Dylan Dog: Dead of Night, Eegah! (1962), Flash Gordon, Freddy Got Fingered, Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance, Grimm’s Snow White, Gulliver’s Travels, Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, Hop, How Do You Know, Jack and Jill, Labor Pains, Madea’s Big Happy Family, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, Motherhood, New Year’s Eve, One for the Money, Prom, Reindeer Games, Rubber, Season of the Witch, Skyline, Somebody Help Me, Strange Brew, Take Me Home Tonight, ThanksKilling, The Almighty Thor, The Amityville Haunting, The Apparition, The Beast of Yucca Flats, The Change-Up, The Dilemma, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, The Happening, The Lucky One, The Nutcracker in 3D, The Oregonian, The Possession, The Room, The Roommate, The Sitter, The Square, The Three Musketeers, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part One, The Ultimate Ultimate, Thomas Kinkade’s Christmas Cottage, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Troll 2, Twilight, Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection, What To Expect When You’re Expecting, Yogi Bear, Zombie Apocalypse

movieboozer.com | Twitter: @MovieBoozer

In Our Next Issue...

Plus:

•Interviews with hockey rock band The Zambonis, and “the best band in LA” Peachfuzz•Our featured model Barbie Bre Gallegos•Reviews of red ales•Our Cinephile Rae’s movie reviews•The Merritts of Mixology

AND MORE!

Yes, we know the NHL season has been put on hold, but it is still college hockey season and we get you ready by interviewing Dave Zamboni of hockey rock band The Zambonis.


INCOGNITOmusic, models, and more

Vol. 7, October 2012Monster A Go-Go

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