IN MY EYES

IN MY EYES

Grace Taranto-Jones

Maisie Watkins

Olivia Petersen

India Wyvill

Eliza Carretero

Alana Thorne

Jessica Matheson

Laura Young

Charlotte McAloon

COPYRIGJHT

Published by Katherine Susannah Prichard Foundation Inc. 11, Old York Road, Greenmount, Westernm Australia 6056

Copyright © Katherine Susannah Prichard Foundation and Princess Margaret Hospital Foun- dation

All rights reserved. This book is copyright. Apart from any fair dealing for the purpose of pri- vate study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under Copyright Act, no part may be reproduced by any process without written permission. Enquiries should be made to the publisher.

Distributed in Australiua and overseas by the publisher.

Parameters:

Primary Characte 1: Fire Fighter

Primary Character 2: Diver

Non-Human Character: Giant Moth

Setting: Remote Hills

Issue: Loneliness

Random Words: Eye-Opening, Frantic, Memory, Reflection, Curiosity

We dedicate this story to all the strong, courageous children in hospitals throughout Sydney. We also dedi-

cate this story to the beautiful, strong Elizabeth, we miss you and hope you all the best in your recovery.

We’d like to acknowledge the Gadigal people of the Eora nation and the Gundungarra people. The tradi-

tional custodians of this land, we acknowledge their el- ders: past, present and future.

Looking back on that one spark,

The single flame in the dark,

Like ink the colour red stains,

And then leaves what naught remains,

This is the price to be paid,

When working with such a trade.

-Alana Thorne

Chapter 1– Moth

it was all black

I hear the sound of crackling, and I know it is the young gum tree leaves burning. This tree is home to hundreds of my family, friends and of course myself. In my panic I escaped to our safety place, a strong, thick gum tree just a little way away from our house. As I get closer the heat becomes more intense and I see the trunk of the tree catch fire and fall slowly towards the ground almost in slow motion. I can’t see anyone, the smoke fills my lungs as I search for others, and if I don’t leave now I wont make it out alive. I flee towards the safety of the lake. As I look back at what once was my home I see the silhouette of a human, with their every footstep crushing any life that the flames spared. A monstrous be- ing that destroys everything in their path. I hear the flames roaring and the hills crying.

I look to the sky, only to see a blanket of smoke. Where is my family?

ash

heat

smoke

screams

darkness

helplessness

That’s why I love humans.

I love when they come into my home uninvited.

I love when they set fire to my surroundings.

I love how they destroy the environment.

I love how they don’t care.

The grief pounds on me like a heavy weight has just fallen on my shoulders, I should of warned them, I should have done something to save the people that I cared about, but I couldn’t. If only the uninvited human maniac hadn’t started the fire at all, everything would be like it always was. I see the human, watch- ing the frantic fire, as perishes my home.

I hate humans.

Why do humans care about no one but themselves? Humans as a race have caused so much destruction to the earth, nothing can fix what has been done, the only hope we have is the earth healing itself, but that will take thousand of years without any more harm being done. I’m not the first to be affected by the humans. I’ve heard stories from my distant family where only a few of them had survived. I never thought this was going to happen to us, but I was wrong.

I am now alone.

As I see the flames are gone I travel back to what’s left of my home. As I draw closer I see black everywhere, on the ground, and in the air. It’s hard to breathe, as the smoke is still dense. Ash surrounds me; there is no life to be seen. The trees are black and the sound of sizzling ashes takes place of what was the chirping of birds. As I stand here every minute feels like an hour and the longer I think about what is happening the more my hate increases towards humans. I can’t stand to look it any longer so I go back to the lake.

I am scarred

I’m at the safety of the lake and the cool breeze greets me. This is the first time in a while that I had come down to the lake. Everything is so peaceful that for a small moment I forget what had just happened. But then it hits me and I feel so much resentment towards the humans. The weight of the ash on my skin weighs me down.

I look at my reflection in the lake and I notice that my giant white wings are no longer white. For as long as I live my ash black wings will remind me of what that monstrous human has done and I will never forgive any of them.

7

Chapter 2

It was all black

I pushed my lungs as I dove deeper and deeper into the dark depths of the water. The smooth hands of the water embraced my body as my open palms sliced through it. It let me pass, without challenge or judgement. It just lets me be.

As long as I can remember, the ocean had been the only place that felt like home. Its icy fingers that could so easily drive many away drew me in, I liked to think of it as a test and if you could pass it, it would show you its treasures.

And oh what treasures it held. The fish were just the tip of the iceberg. If you fol- lowed their silver fins and the bubble trails left in their wake, they would show you the plethora of different sea-life. From jellyfish and dolphins to coral reefs in an explosion of colours. The deep blood reds of the coral a stark comparison to the green almost transparent seaweed, both startling against the cool hews of the water.

9

The flashing light of my watch burnt into the back of my eyes, such a blatant distinction from the dark waters that had been nursing me. It signalled that the air tank was almost empty. The sharp crushing pain clawing at my lungs confirmed this and like always I was hit by the severe tear of wanting to stay where I belonged; in the waters embrace against the primal need for air. With swift movements I secured the deep-sea coral sam- ples to my wetsuit belt and using my remaining air to fuel strong sure kicks to the sur- face. As the light began winning the battle over the dark water, growing in potency as I neared the waters surface my legs began to lose the fight against the now constricting, heavy, inky water. My lungs were convulsing in the screams for the oxygen I wish they didn’t need.

As my fingers shattered the surface of the water I began greedily gulping the air, its abundance sending my head spinning. The spinning distracted only slightly from the ringing pang in my ears. It was funny that the terrible pain of surfacing too fast never seemed to actually make me want to leave the water any faster).

With my lungs now full again and only a small headache, I took in the caves façade. The underwater caves had been such a huge break through for the marine research firm when we first discovered them, but exploring them alone for so long I almost forgot how magnificent they were. The immense air pocket created by the expansive black stone, reminded you how incredibly insignificant you are in its presence. As my breaths echoed off the stonewalls, the whisper of just my breath dancing alone in the dark they honed in on the loneliness I felt. How long had it been? A year? Two? That’s how long I’d been here collecting data but even before that alone in the science lab.. I pushed the thoughts from my mind.

12

Dipping back under water I turned my focus to navigating back through the underwater canal and getting back to my hut to analyse the samples.

Surfacing again this time, under the sky I began the swim to shore. Taking some extra time to float in the waters palm I noticed how late in the day it was. The day’s usual clairvoyant blue had been stained in a ferocious splatter of reds and dark purples as the sun was murdered in a fiery rage by night. But it was no normal sunset, though like always it was beautiful there was a pain underlying it as if reflecting a deep, messy wound inflicted on the

forest below.

11

The sunset had put me on edge and I moved to the

hut with an unknown urgency. As I entered the shack

given to me by the lab, nestled in the remote hills. It

was clearer than usual, in contrast to the vibrant sun-

set that even after 2 years I had made little to no ef-

fort to personalize it and consequently it was just as

cold and bare as the day I moved in.

Moving toward the kitchen table to unload the sam-

ples my senses exploded with a concoction of ash

and fire. Immediately my heartbeat rose to a thunder-

ous punch and as I gingerly looked up at the window

what I saw cresting on the hills sent all that made me,

me gone replacing it with one echoing word. It ran

ramped through my being causing a frigid sweat, blis-

tering pulse and a primal fear so deep I could be lost

to it. Fire.

12

Chapter 3

It was was all black

Chapter 3 Fire Fighter

I closed my eyes to smell the cool afternoon breeze. As I stepped out onto my front porch in the only the silhouettes of the trees and the

mountains towering over my humble home are visible. The fresh,

crisp breeze hitting my face and the the familiar smell of eucalyptus automatically floods me with nostalgia. These hills have been my home for as long as I can remember. I can still hear my naive chil- dren's games in the playful songs that the birds play. The warm sun that provided me with comfort throughout the winters and the colossal trees that towered over me and protected me from the harsh summer sun and allowed me to live as any child should. Full of wonder and cu-

riosity.

Every day I am always reminded how lucky i am to be a part of the

Gundungarra people and that I am able to protect our land in my eve-

ry day work. back burning is a fundamental part of sustaining the veg-

etation and preventing it from devastating bushfires.

13

I cough once more, the smoke enveloping

the space around me, turning my surround- ings into empty darkness. I focus my eyes on

what is in front of me, the light, the fire. I watch as the light wraps around the

neighbouring trees, the flames grasping the bark of the gumtrees littering the land. I listen to the crackling of the trees as they fall under the heated touch of the flickering yellow and

orange flames. I heave a small breath as I watch yet another tree fall, meeting the floor

beneath it, seeming more like a soft and sweet embrace rather than the crash of a burning

trunk.

The world around me seems to get darker and darker from

smoke. I let my eyes focus on the light coming from the flare in my glove covered hands. The flame lighting everything in

its path a different shade of yellow each time, giving the darkening earth some light. I know I sound like a moth

saying this but I’ve always liked the concept of light and

have always been drawn to it. The way it can move, so freely. The way it can be hazy and soft yet strong and bold at the same time. The strength and delicacy in the way it il-

luminates

everything fascinates me.

15

16

Growing up I have always been taught the importance of respecting the environment and its creatures from my Grandmother. It was hard for her raising me as a child without much support but she managed to give me the fundamental basics. As a child, she saw how our culture was slowly

being lost in our community so she made sure I wasn't the one of the

lost. my grandmother used to tell me stories, about the animals and the land. the different ways of life. she used to tell me how important it was,

how important the land was to us and the animals to the land. she’d tell

me about the sacrifices we have to make to live.

Focusing back onto the task at hand, the flames lighting my surround- ings i look up noticing a slight change in the air. the wind seems to change, moving more towards a hill in the distance. i turn off my flare and look around, the wind picking up more force. my eyes fix on the edge of the giant flame as it inches towards one place, my eyes scan-

ning the area i spot a small wooden cabin with a bluish tinge. my eyes

widen as i realise there could be people inside. i immediately drop my flare and sprint towards the cabin. by now the flames have gone done looking like specks of sun, i begin to reach the larger flames still follow- ing the path the wind is taking them on. my arm comes up to cover my

face, running through the flames I see that I’m almost at my destination.

i push my legs to go faster, my lungs

almost at their ending point.

I finally reach the end of the fire run- ning into the cabin, looking around for anyone, I find a hose instead and

thinking fast I run to grab it. As I’m

running down the hill, the hose in my hand, I wonder if I missed anything it

seeming funny that there wasn’t

anyone in there. I shake my head focusing back on running, I meet the line of fire, turning on the hose. Water flies out of the hose easing the anger of the furious flames. eventually the flames deteriorate into smoke, I heave a sigh and drop my shoulders, I turn and make my back towards the cabin to see if I missed anyone in there.

Chapter 4 Diver Staring through the window at the forest surrounding my hut and the lake: my two homes. I stood paralysed.

Hungry walls of fire were devouring it, tearing it apart in a senseless rampage of heat and brut force. A falling tree branch, conquered by the fire tore through the air and landed ripping through the earth and my immobility. And with that I was running, running for my life, away from what everything I knew, into the only place I could think of that would boil me alive or fry me - the bottom of the hill.

My feet frantically fought against the sticks and leaves tearing at their bare soles as I ran down the edge of the forest. God why didn’t I put on some shoes? But there was not a chance of going back so I kept running. Even on the fire’s outskirts the heat was still burning through the air and unlike the cool deep sea this was not an airless envi- ronment I welcomed. How could this have happened? It wasn’t even summer yet and at this time in late afternoon where even the sunset is slowly smothered in nights dark wings, there’s no-way the low temperature could spark a flash fire.

As I continued down the hill the thick smoke was crushing me, burning its way into my lungs poising them more and more with every essential breath I took. Just as I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, that my adrenaline had finally lost its will, the tree line broke and I landed in a sweaty ball of emotion and primal instinct onto the grass whose early night dew had not yet been sacrificed to the fires jaws.

As I lay there retching for clean air, the night sky chocked by a thick veil of smoke gazed down on me. After what seemed like years fighting to regain my lungs and my mind back, I finally regained enough to notice the searing pain in my feet. They were torn from toe to heal in a bloody mess reminding my instantly of the telling sunset I had seen earlier. With the pain returning though so did my awareness and to my left I noticed a hose. So strange that a hose, the one tool that I had needed desperately was here now, it would almost be funny if it weren’t so ironic.

Now that the fire had died down leaving the forest that had nourished it, eerie and lifeless, I began to follow the hose back into its depths. Following its fat tail higher up the hill shivers scampered across my back as I observed my surroundings. What mere hours ago had been lush green forest was now only the skeletons of trees remaining on a thick bed of ashes. The crisp crack of a dried branch drew my head up. Her hair caught my eyes first, its red embers so perfectly capturing the intensity of fire, offset by smooth long waves. And her eyes… even through her helmet I could see these piercing green eyes. Protected in a uniform of the brightest yellow and reds he’d ever seen and then hit him , she was a fire fighter.

17

Now that the fire had died down leaving the forest that had nourished it, eerie and lifeless, I began to follow the hose back into its depths. Following its fat tail higher up the hill shivers scampered across my back as I observed my surroundings. What mere hours ago had been lush green forest was now only the skeletons of trees re- maining on a thick bed of ashes. The crisp crack of a dried branch drew my head up. Her hair caught my eyes first, its red embers so perfectly capturing the intensi- ty of fire, offset by smooth long waves. And her eyes… even through her helmet I could see these piercing green eyes. Protected in a uniform of the brightest yellow and reds he’d ever seen and then hit him , she was a fire fighter.

“Are you ok?” Her face was painted with concern as she asked

“No.! Of course not, I barely got out of that fire alive! I noticed that harshness and added

“How are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine I was the one lit it…?”

“What! You pyromaniac! How on earth could you do that?

“No, you don’t understand, it’s not like that”

I could see the hurt clearly blossoming on her face, but it just made no sense. How could someone be so careless to decimate an entire eco-system?

“ Why on earth, would you do such a horrific act?”

“ It’s not like that at all... I’m from the Gundungarra tribe and I’m back burning to rejuvenate the forest”

“Was burning so close to my house it almost got destroyed part of the plan?”

“ No of course not” She looked down, a mask of shame framing her face

“ I’m so sorry it got out of hand, but I saved it and I just … I’m so sorry you got hurt.”

I could see she was genuinely sorry and my view began to shift as I looked into those intense green eyes.

The walk back to my hut didn’t seem so long as she walked back with me both of us lonely in our own ways, together in a friendship we had both been craving.

As we trudged back up the hill my feet still hurting from the frantic run down, I looked up and saw a giant white moth, ghostly against the bleed and bruised sky. Its huge wings, speckled with grey scars framed a tiny fragile body. Its damage made it beautiful, utterly beautiful in a way unique in to its own.

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19

Chapter 5 Fire Fighter

As I am walking my eyes squint to see through the smoke, a black silhouette slowly walking towards me, coming to a stop standing in front of me was a man, a wetsuit looking more like a second skin than a piece clothing. i look up at his face his dark brown hair dripping with water, droplets covering his dark skin and his eyes deep and dark, reminding of the deepest parts of the ocean. My own eyes

widen as I get closer to see his panicked face, "Are you okay?!” I question him

frantically. His face changing into one of fury. “Of course not i just barely got out

of that fire alive! How are you ok?!” he exclaimed. “Yeah I’m fine, I lit it…?” I re-

plied. After accusing me of being a pyromaniac I realised that he was obviously not familiar with the process of back burning. I felt a raging rant of his blatant ig-

norance building at the back of my throat and if it wasn’t for the memory of my

grandmother’s caring words “Be careful with your words. Once they have been

said they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.” I would have screamed in his face.

Instead I calmly explained that back burning was a part of my indigenous culture and the many advantages and the rejuvenating effects that the process has on the wildlife. He explained that he was a marine biologist studying the marine life of the area. His passion for protecting animals and learning more about them to better understand them was amazingly refreshing. I could see in him my own loneliness reflected, because like me he had devoted his to his work. As we walked back hose in hand we agreed to get to know each better, two lonely souls finally finding friendship.

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Chapter 6-Moth

As I sit on the last remaining tree, its thick branch’s charred by the thoughtless actions of humans, it serves as the only remainder of what once was. I see two humans walking through the ashes, the ashes of my family, of our home. One of the human creatures was wearing what I could only describe as a protective shell. The other however was bare, covered only in a black material hugging its body tightly, resembling a black shadow. For some reason the human in the shell looks so familiar like something from my nightmares. I’m suddenly over powered by rage; I realize it was the monstrous human, which burnt down my home. The black figure looked somewhat distressed, whilst the other confused. The black figure points to the ash, the trees and everything black yelling something I could- n’t understand, it’s as though it is upset about the fire. The human protected by a shell is shaking its head and throwing its arms everywhere and showing no ex- pression of being upset. The human in the shell shows no remorse. I watch them as they leave the ashes and walk towards where they live. Leaving me in the rub- ble of where I used to.

I hate humans….but at least these two don’t hate each other.

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For the rest of my life I observed them, the humans. As they interacted with each other, I watched them plant trees where the ashes once were; but most

interestingly, nurture plants that seemed to thrive in the ashes left by their fallen brothers and sisters. I watched them live in harmony together, careful to guard what one of them had once taken too much of. For my four short weeks, there was no more destruction. Granted, my lifespan is only four

weeks but watching the humans was really eye opening. I got to see them make efforts to never see that kind of destruction again. I saw what was at their core, of the good ones that is. It was to bring life to the earth not just

take it, so I guess humans aren’t all bad.

That’s why I love humans.

22

Faced with isolation and loneliness, the only ones that can save them are each

other. A fire fighter, a cave diver and a gi- ant moth experience a day co-existing be-

tween each other.

Recommended Age: Between 10 and 16 years old