http://. what do you think of when you think of confrontation?

http://www.timelesstexts.com/

What do you think of when you think of confrontation?

Is this a truth to be celebrated?

PurityUnity

Sin/Conflict

UsPhilippians 2:2, 4:2-3

Ephesians 5:25-27

Math 18:15-1715 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

I. You are Your Brother’s Keeper

Who do we confront?Matt 18:15 ~ If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

Confronting a brother vs. evangelizing someone

How do we know what sins we should confront?Actions vs. bad attitudes

Don’t confront over preference outside of scripture.

How do you know when you shouldn’t overlook a person’s sins?

I. You are Your Brother’s KeeperB. What Sins Should We Confront

1 Peter 4:88 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

If the sin creates an unreconciled relationship between you and the offender, so that you think often about the sin and think badly of him, then confrontation is necessary for the sake of unity in the body (Matt 5:23-24; Phil 2:1-4)

If you are not confident that the person is growing in the direction of Christlikeness by regularly confessing his sin and working to change, then confronting his sin may be the only way to expose his spiritual inertia and help him to avoid God’s chastening (Heb 3:12-14; James 5:19-20; 2 Peter 1:5-10)

If you know that there will be consequences of this sin that will hurt others in the offender’s life, then for their sake you should make sure that he has recognized his wrong and repented from it. (Matt. 18:6; 1 Cor 5:6-7;12:26)

When you shouldn’t “overlook” – note that this is not “tolerance”

I. You are Your Brother’s KeeperC. How Should We Confront

What should be true of the one confronting?


1. Quickly

Matt 18:15 - “If your brother sins against you, go [be going] and tell him his fault

Matt 5:23-24 - 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Matt 7:5 – But do your prep work - You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.


2. Purposefully

Why would a lack of being purposeful in confrontation be a bad thing?


2. Purposefully

Matt 18:15 - “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault,

Be intent on discussing the problem- Don’t talk non-specifically, by insinuating or implying…trying to manipulate the other person.

- Or beating around the bush so much that the sin is never directly talked about.

- Don’t be “praying for the opportunity”? What? Ben’s a heretic!

- Be intentional…appt., tell goals, etc.

NSI


3. VerballyMatt 18:15 - “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

Not: facial expressionssubtle gesturesignoring the personother non verbal

Use the ScripturesHeb 4:12 - For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Example: “I haven’t talked to him in a month. He knows I’m mad…that he did something wrong.”

This is not Biblical confrontation but rather selfish pouting…holding someone accountable for something that they may not know they did…or perhaps they didn’t.


4. Privately

Prov 25:9-10 - 9 Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another's secret, 10 lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end.

Asking for counsel (no names) vs. gossip (with names)


5. Reluctantly

Prov 17:19a19 Whoever loves transgression loves

strife

Prov 20:3

3 It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.

2 Cor 2:4

4 For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.


6. Compassionately

Prov 27:66 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Remind them that you are that friend and that you care for them.


7. Gently

Isaiah 42:3

3 a bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice.

Prov 15:11 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.


8. Humbly

Prov 18:2A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

Galatians 6:1Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Watch yourself.

What if new “data” shows that your conclusion was wrong?


9. Carefully

Prov 10:19 …many words..transgression unavoidableProv 11:9 …mouth…destroys his neighborProv 12:18 …speaks rashly…thrusts of a swordProv 13:14 …turn aside the snare of deathProv 25:11 …like apples of gold…word spokenProv 29:20 …hasty in his words…fool

Confrontation can be a powder keg.

Be prepared.


10. Prayerfully

Phil 1:9-11

9 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Col 1:9-12

9 And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10 so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. 11 May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, 12 giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.

I. You are Your Brother’s KeeperD. Why Should We Confront

Matt 18:15

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you,

you have gained your brother.

A truth to be

celebrated!

PurityUnity

Sin/Conflict

UsPhilippians 2:2, 4:2-3

Ephesians 5:25-27

II. Bring in OthersA. What Roles Do the “One or Two More” Play

Math 18:1616 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

How does it help to have one or two others along with you as you seek to restore for the second time?

II. Bring in OthersA. What Roles Do the “One or Two More” Play

Protects against false accusation Provides other “counselors”

II. Bring in OthersB. What Kind of People Should the “One or Two More” be

Describe the kind of person that the “one or two” is like?

II. Bring in OthersB. What Kind of People Should the “One or Two More” be

QualifiedGal 6:11 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

SeriousDeuteronomy 17:5-77 The hand of the witnesses shall be first against him to put him to death

ObjectiveMaybe friends of the accused.Not friends of the accuser.

III. The Last ResortA. Restoration sought by the church body as well

What are some wrong motives for telling the church body of the person’s sin?

How can a church body as a whole participate in the restoration process?

III. The Last ResortA. Restoration sought by the church body as well

1) Telling the church is good for those who sin Widening the confrontation to the whole body

allows the whole body to participate in such a restoration

2) Telling the church is good for the church The whole church is challenged toward personal

purity 1 Tim 5:20

20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.

III. The Last ResortB. Removal from the Church Body

Matt 18:1717 And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

1 Cor 5:5

5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.1 Timothy 1:2020 among whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.

Progressiv

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ctific

ation

PurityUnity

SinConflict

US1 Cor 5:6-76 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.

Practicality?

How does one do this?

What does “being a mess” have to do with biblical confrontation?

http://. what do you think of when you think of confrontation?

Documents

brothers keeper

tolerance slide

fault matt

brothers eye

multitude of sins

persons sins

body matt

purity unity sin conflict