This/The/Mention the official program title programme is right for me due because I believe is the right way in which I could get it would help me get/acquire/enable me to acquire etc hands-on knowledge and see the practicality apply of what I am learning in the master degree that I am currently doing. Also/Additionally/Furthermore, the rotational programme would help me also understand better where I fit within risk; I would be exposed to a large panel a variety/wide range of of challenges/tasks, which is what I am looking for. Comment by Alexandru Coca: You need an article or some sort of identifier as you are referring to a specific programme not any programme; check some grammar site on when to use the/a/zero article; its a subtle matter, I often get the wrong myself (i.e. use one when I shouldnt) but I am confident you need Comment by Alexandru Coca: Less ideal as it will take wordcount so simply say This programme befits me.Comment by Alexandru Coca: Replace with befitComment by Alexandru Coca: Generally, avoid expressions such as the the right/wrong way unless its something scientific that you are writing we could have a cui conversation about whats good/wrong to do in life and it can be interpreted in a funny way by the reader; thumb rule if you can do philosophical arguments on a matter (i.e. what is the right thing to do) then avoid it Comment by Alexandru Coca: Wrong use of practicality here;Please see def below:http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/practicalityALWAYS check the meaning of words if youre not sure how to use them, especially those similar to Romanian ones; 99% of the time they mean sth else than you think or are used in different ways. I highly recommend the example senteces that come with Cambridge dictionary definitions as they will give you a feel for how to use the vocab correctly thats how I learnt it. To see what I mean check condescending in Cambridge vs condescendent in DEX & see the difference ;)Comment by Alexandru Coca: Try replacing with the financially modelling tools and techniques that I mentioned in the other Comment by Alexandru Coca: No need to say this UNLESS you havent mentioned it anywhere else in the application; even so, using present continuous (-ing ending) means the action is in progress at the current time. So, by saying financial tools and modelling techniques that I am learning/studying in my masters you imply that the masters is in progress and dont need to waste word countComment by Alexandru Coca: WRONG USE CHECK DEFINITION BELOWhttp://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/panelComment by Alexandru Coca: or which I welcome as it is shorter Finance knowledge: - market valuation by using stochastic analysis and ,understanding the role of Brownian motions in determining the black Sholes model or modelling equity prices, assessing market risk and running Monte Carlo valuations , drawn my attention to the and equip me with the necessary tools in enhancing my understanding of market movements. Moreover, my economical background combined with the necessary mathematical tools would help in creating stories and proofs for what it is a continuous changing financial environment and I think RBS is the right place where I could try and add value.Comment by Alexandru Coca: why not singular Brownian motionComment by Alexandru Coca: Start with sth like:In my internship at DB, I learnt about (insert all that follows financial knowledge). FULL STOP. This give me confidence in analyzing market movements and provides a good foundation for further learning. These mathematical skills are complemented by my economics background (NOT economical that means sth else, check Cambridge) throughout which I developed the intuition and the critical thinking skills that are paramount in formulating and interpreting (fill in what type : stress/unforeseen events/etc nu stiu care e termenul tehnic). ADD one or two sentences saying you like collaborating with people, challenging the status quo and teamwork. Then conclude with the sentence: I would thus be an asset for any team with the (name department??) (?) Risk department. its new ongoing restructuring strategy, through which RBS has succeeded in raising their capital position to being one of the best in the market industry, proves that RBS is an continuous growing position where risk represents one of the driving force. I would like to work in this environment as I believe it would provide me with hands on knowledge..or Comment by Alexandru Coca: Didnt read will do tomorrow Current regulatory environment is constantly changing and adding more restrictions to the banking industry and therefore to the ongoing strategy that RBS is leading..Should I still talk about my experience ?!:)) Nope, you already said enough in 2nd bullet point (see comment, I expanded on that so you have a full paragraph ready now)