how to tell where you fit in

7/28/2019 How to Tell Where You Fit In

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The Platinum Ruleby Tony Alessandra and Michael J. O'Connor

Tony Alessandra. (c) 1996. Copying Prohibited.

Reprinted for Diana Tudorache, Hewlett Packard

[email protected]

Reprinted with permission as a subscription benefit ofSkillport,

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All rights reserved. Reproduction and/or distribution in whole or in part in electronic,paper or

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Chapter 3: How to Tell Where You Fit In

OVERVIEW

You're in a rush to get to the airport, but the checkout line at the hotel is long and slow-moving. Do you:

n Take your place quietly at the end?

n Demand to see the manager?

n Ask those at the head of the line to let you in?

n Go to the end but continue to grumble and complain?

Similarly, do you slow down, or speed up, when the traffic light turns yellow? Are you the kind of person who charges rightinto the midst of a cocktail party, or are you more likely to linger around the edges until you see who's there and who's not?

Also, how much you talk, what risks you'll take, what kind of people irritate you, how quickly you make decisions, howreadily you share your feelings, whether you're curious or competitive, analytical or accommodatingall these traits, andmore, suggest your behavioral style. And that style stays with you like your fingerprints.

By now you probably have a pretty good idea of which of the four basic styles is most like you. But in the self-assessmentthat follows, you'll determine your style more precisely. Knowing your own style can enable you to better (1) capitalize onstrengths, present and potential; and (2) reduce how often your weaknesses trip you up.

Remember, it's not uncommon to have personality traits that span more than one style. In fact, most of us aren't purely onestyle. We're blends, and our personal combination changes from time to time, depending on the situation and whom we'rewith.

Yet most of us show one primary style most of the time. That style is most evident when you're most at ease, when you'rejust acting like yourself, when your mind seems as if it's on automatic pilot. That's the style we'll determine here. In a laterchapter, we'll refine the four basic styles more precisely and see if you're, say, a Director with strong Socializer tendenciesor some other such combination.

For now, though, here's how to figure out where you likely fit among the Big Four:

THE PLATINUM RULE PERSONAL-STYLES INVENTORY

This is an informal survey, designed to determine how you usuallyact in everyday situations. The idea is to get a clear

description of how you see yourself.

For each pair of statements below, distribute three points between the two alternatives (A and B), depending on howcharacteristic of you the statement is. Although some pairs of statements may seem equally true for you, assign morepoints to the alternative that is more representative of your behavior most of the time.

n If A is very characteristic of you and B is very uncharacteristic, write "3" next to A and "0" next to B.

n If A is more characteristic of you than B, write "2" next to A and "1" next to B.

n If B is very characteristic of you and A is very uncharacteristic, write "3" next to B and "0" next to A.

n If B is more characteristic of you than A, write "2" next to B and "1" next to A.

After you have marked answers to all eighteen pairs of statements, transfer your ratings to the blanks on page 41. Pleasebase your answers on how you actuallybehave, not on how you think you should behave. (Remember: the numbers you

assign to each pair must add up to 3.)

1A_______ I'm usually open to getting to know people personally and establishing relationships with them.1B_______ I'm not usually open to getting to know people personally and establishing relationships with them.

he Platinum Rule

Reprinted for H-P/[email protected], Hewlett Packard Tony Alessandra, Tony Alessandra, Ph.D., and Michael J. O'Connor, Ph.D. (c) 1996, Copying Prohibited

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Please transfer your scores to the following table. (Note: Sometimes the "A" response appears first; other times, the "B"

response is first.)

THE PLATINUM RULE PERSONAL-STYLES SCORING SHEET

2A_______ I usually react slowly and deliberately.

2B_______ I usually react quickly and spontaneously.

3A_______ I'm usually guarded about other people's use of my time.

3B_______ I'm usually open to other people's use of my time.

4A_______ I usually introduce myself at social gatherings.

4B_______ I usually wait for others to introduce themselves to me at social gatherings.

5A_______ I usually focus my conversations on the interests of the people involved, even if that means straying from the business orsubject at hand.

5B_______ I usually focus my conversations on the tasks, issues, business, or subject at hand.

6A_______ I'm usually not assertive, and I can be patient with a slow pace.

6B_______ I'm usually assertive, and at times I can be impatient with a slow pace.

7A_______ I usually make decisions based on facts or evidence.

7B_______ I usually make decisions based on feelings, experiences, or relationships.

8A_______ I usually contribute frequently to group conversations.

8B_______ I usually contribute infrequently to group conversations.

9A_______ I usually prefer to work with and through others, providing support when possible.

9B_______ I usually prefer to work independently or dictate the conditions in terms of how others are involved.

10A_______ I usually ask questions or speak tentatively and indirectly.

10B_______ I usually make emphatic statements or directly express opinions.

11A_______ I usually focus primarily on ideas, concepts, or results.

11B_______ I usually focus primarily on persons, interactions, and feelings.

12A_______ I usually use gestures, facial expression, and voice intonation to emphasize points.

12B_______ I usually do not use gestures, facial expression, and voice intonation to emphasize points.

13A_______ I usually accept others' points of view (ideas, feelings, and concerns).

13B_______ I usually don't accept others' points of view (ideas, feelings, and concerns).

14A_______ I usually respond to risk and change in a cautious or predictable manner.

14B_______ I usually respond to risk and change in a dynamic or unpredictable manner.

15A_______ I usually prefer to keep personal feelings and thoughts private, sharing only when I wish to do so.

15B_______ I usually find it natural and easy to share and discuss my feelings with others.

16A_______ I usually seek out new or different experiences and situations.

16B_______ I usually choose known or similar situations and relationships.

17A_______ I'm usually responsive to others' agendas, interests, and concerns.

17B_______ I'm usually directed toward my own agendas, interests, and concerns.

18A_______ I usually respond to conflict slowly and indirectly.

18B_______ I usually respond to conflict quickly and directly.

O G D I

1A 1B 2B 2A

3B 3A 4A 4B

5A 5B 6B 6A

7B 7A 8A 8B

9A 9B 10B 10A

11B 11A 12A 12B13A 13B 14B 14A

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Now, compare the O and G scores. Which is higher? Write the higher score in the blank below and circle thecorresponding letter:

______O or G

Then compare the D and I scores. Which is higher? Write the higher score in the blank below and circle the correspondingletter:

______D or I

SO WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

Here's how to figure out which style is most descriptive of youalong with a quick recap of what makes that style tick.

q If you circled the G and the D, you tend toward being a Director.

q If you circled the O and the D, you show many qualities of a Socializer:

q If you circled the O and the I, you're predominantly a Relater.

q If you circled the G and the I, you have lots of Thinker characteristics.

We'll come back to your styleand the quantitative score you gave yourselfin a later chapter. Meanwhile, now that you

15B 15A 16A 16B

17A 17B 18A 18A

TOTAL: TOTAL: TOTAL: TOTAL:

Strengths: Administration, taking initiative.

Weaknesses: Impatience, insensitivity.

Irritation: Indecision.

Goals: Productivity, control.

Fear: Being hustled.

Motivator: Winning.

Strengths: Persuasion, interacting with others.

Weaknesses: Disorganization, carelessness.

Irritation: Routine.

Goals: Popularity, applause.

Fear: Loss of prestige.

Motivator: Recognition.

Strengths: Servicing, listening.

Weaknesses: Oversensitivity, indecision.

Irritation: Insensitivity.

Goals: Acceptance, stability.Fear: Sudden change.

Motivator: Involvement.

Strengths: Planning, analyzing.

Weaknesses: Perfectionistic, overly critical.

Irritation: Unpredictability.

Goals: Accuracy, thoroughness.

Fear: Criticism.

Motivator: Progress.

he Platinum Rule


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know your own style, let's find out how to get a reading on everyone else.

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how to tell where you fit in

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