How to Love YourselfWe spend so much time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching,

yearning for that special love. Feeling empty and lost without it. Wanting

someone to give us love and fill us up. Unfortunately, thats not usually how life

works. Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect, which is the only

dependable way to create love in your own life to share with others. When you

expect love from an external source, and someone or something does not fulfill

your void and fantasies, then you will feel worse than before. To be able to be

loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others.

Understanding the effects of loving yourself will only enhance your ability to love

others. By doing so, you are enabling positive energy and allowing for great

situations to occur in your life. This guide will help. Never think that you're living

your life for nothing. Everyday, there are people coming in and out of the world,

so spend it wisely and respect yourself. Sometimes we feel as if our lives rely

on that one person. We think 'If I do this, he/she will like me.' We tend to waste

time avoiding those certain people, and regret it later. We miss them, yearn for

their love, and even waste birthday wishes on them. In order to love someone,

you must love yourself.

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Treat others with love and respect. Bringing joy to other people's lives will help you

find joy in your own. In addition, those that you treat well will likely repay you with the

same kindness. Gradually, you will start to feel your worth through the smiles of gratitude.

However, don't just be very kind to people so you can receive royal treatment.

Create goodwill and thankfulness by practicing random deeds of kindness.

Share your being with others in many ways. Share your knowledge in nice ways, or

make a small donation to a needy person or an unfortunate child.

Share opportunities for your potential happiness by sharing goals and

accomplishments with a special person or a group. Help a candidate or a political

cause, or a community project. Help at a school or church.

Express yourself, perhaps in a diary, or through short stories. You may need to

get feelings out, but not on your friends!

Learn to let go of past events. You deserve a fresh beginning! There are a lot of

people out there that have had hard lives, bad beginnings/moments. Don't close

yourself out of grief, disappointments, or fears of future ridicule. Acknowledge your feelings,

but work to put them behind you. Cherish what you have learned from your challenges, and

how you have changed and grown from them. Forgive those who have done you wrong.

Steps

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Most importantly, though, forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself. Don't punish yourself for something you have done in the past.

Instead, look at the mistake as a learning experience. Say to yourself now: I forgive

myself for _______. Go look in a mirror and say it out loud to yourself. Look yourself right in

the eyes and speak forgiveness like you mean it. Don't ever demean or ridicule yourself. If

you do, laugh out loud, realizing that was then and this is now. Every day is a new

beginning. If you did something you are not proud of, resolve to never do it again, and take

steps to keep it out of your mind.

Put positive statements up some places where you will see them each and

every day. "I am beautiful." or "I have the courage to love." Write notes that remind

you of what you love most about yourself. Read them out loud, every day, at least once,

ideally at least ten times each time you notice one of them. Sticky notes are fabulous for

such affirmations and goals.

Sit in front of the mirror. Imagine in the mirror is someone putting you down. Then,

practice calmly saying to her, "I do not care," with a smile. Practice it until you truly

believe it. Do not allow some other person's image of perfect to manifest you. If you believe

you are pretty, the person in the mirror will look pretty. If you focus on what others hate about

you, that is all you will see.

Try to look past "material" objects and feelings: We all want a nice house, nice

things, someone to share our life with, etc. Find your true wants objectively. Do you

crave power, a religion, or simply a motive? Sometimes it's easier to hide the truth from

yourself, but figuring out what you really want will help you know yourself better and hopefully

aid in answering important questions you often ask yourself.

Keep a journal. Write about your experiences, good and bad. When you write down

good experiences, allow yourself to feel those feelings. When you remember bad

experiences, allow yourself to feel self-compassion. Compassion is not self-pity, but rather

willingness to be present/accept with one's own pain and regret. Most people experienced

chronic emotional invalidation growing up; adults shouldn't expect others to be validating,

and need to learn how to validate themselves. Compassion allows us to be present with our

pain so it can be acknowledged and let go.

Be persistent. Work as steadily as you can at loving and accepting yourself just

as you are right now. A large part of love is accepting another "as is". This is no

different for yourself learn to love yourself "as is". Only after we've accepted ourselves, we

might think about changing some less than desirable characteristics.

Start working toward how and what you want to do and be. Do so with a

positive attitude, by working toward your higher purposes and greater

appreciation of your problems, as motivating you're finding new and better opportunities.

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Be enthusiastic and cheerful (appropriately).

Don't define yourself by what you've done. Celebrate your accomplishments,

but let go of the things you haven't done...yet? Remember that success is not a

destination. Success is making progress (towards the desires of your heart). Accept

yourself, and others will follow your lead. You are not your deeds, appearance, or bank

balance.

Hug Yourself. Show yourself love through a hug by hugging the real you.

Be who you really are. Express yourself, laugh, play, or sing. Be crazy. Don't be

afraid of what others think. They feel the same way and want to express

themselves, but are afraid to show it, too.

Trust yourself. Don't just follow other people's suggestions blindly. Learn to trust

who you really are.

Think of five positive words that describe you. Try not to use words like

'pretty' and 'nice'. Try variety.

Think about what you really want someone to be like in a relationship. Do

those characteristics also apply to you?

Practice receiving love. To truly love is to be able to receive it. When someone

loves you, does some kind deeds to you, says kind words, gives you gifts, or gives

you compliments, embrace it. Allow yourself to feel the love that has come your way. Know

that you are worthy of love. It is important to accept a gift of love by others. You give yourself

a chance to learn more about yourself, and that you are lovable. You give someone a joy of

giving by loving you. Another important way is to practice receiving love by saying I love

you to yourself. Let that love fill your heart. Receive that love that you give to yourself

unconditionally.

Practice saying no. It is okay to say no to people when you do not feel like

doing something. Do not feel guilty about it. Just realize that you have the right to

do so. This is different from doing things out of love. If you do things out of love, and your

heart wants to do them, that is a different story. When your heart does not want to do it, and

you feel like you have to please someone, and make others happy by over-extending

yourself. Learning how to say no is an art. It takes practice. You might say Thank you for

asking. I am not ready to commit to doing anything right now. You cannot please everyone.

When you say no, remember to smile sincerely and say no gracefully.

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Do what you love. Make yourself happy. What do you love to do? If you could

find something that you love to do and spend time doing it, you will experience

love, joy, and happiness in your heart. That is when you truly connect with your authentic self.

As a result, you become happier and more loving.

Treat yourself like you treat your very best friend. How do you treat your very

best friend? Do you treat him/her with love, kindness, trust, appreciation,

acceptance, and respect? If you can give that to your friend, why can't you give that to

yourself? Practice treating yourself like you treat your very best friend, by saying kind words

to yourself. Stop calling yourself names. Stop beating yourself up. Give yourself

compliments. Know your boundaries, and listen deeply to your needs. Always be kind and

gentle with yourself.

Nurture yourself. Self care is very important. Set up some time to be by yourself,

just by yourself. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with yourself.

You can nurture yourself physically by exercising and consuming healthy food. You can

nurture yourself emotionally by listening to love songs, painting, or helping others in need.

As you give yourself to others and offer help, you receive the gift of love back. You feel good

about yourself because you live your life on purpose. You can nurture yourself mentally by

reading your favorite books. You can nurture yourself spiritually by doing meditation.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone on this earth is unique. We all

have different gifts. When you compare yourself to others, it makes you feel bad

about yourself. When you compare yourself to others for what they have, whether it is a car,

a house, a mate, children, money, or a job, it makes you feel low self esteem, lose your

confidence, and perhaps depressed, envious or jealous. A way to stop comparing yourself

to others is by focusing on your own strength. Get to know yourself, and discover what your

greatest gift is that you are meant to share with the world. Another great way is by practicing

gratitude. Be happy for what you have. Really be grateful about everything that you have;

people in your life, job, relationships, material, etc. Gratitude keeps your heart open to love.

No one is quite like you. Just be you. Be grateful for being the wonderful you. Do the best

you can. Be the best you can and love yourself more. Then, you have more love to give to

others.

Stop trying to be perfect. Stop criticizing yourself for being less than perfect.

Always do your best, but not reaching perfection is not failure. Just follow all the

steps above, and don't let anyone's expectations of you put any pressure on you.

Remember that no matter what, you will always be perfect just the way you are, flaws and

all.

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Remember that you are human, because sometimes we feel like

outcasts or weirdos, but that is just something that makes you unique,

and to be human is to be imperfect.

Never get anxious about anything you set your heart to do,rather believe

that your efforts will always yield positive results. This is one way not to

feel inferior.

Treat yourself like the most loving parent would. Never, ever put

yourself down. EVER.

Listen carefully to the messages you are sending for yourself. Turn off

negative messages, or turn them into a positive messages.

Make a list of everything in life that brings you joy. The smell of the

ocean, singing, driving with the windows rolled down, gardening. Do

three things each day that bring YOU joy. Plan joy into your day. This is

the path to happy ever after.

Do what you enjoy. Go out somewhere, perhaps, with someone. Or stay

at home, prepare yourself a nice meal, and settle down with a good book

in front of a cozy fire, a fan, or air conditioner.

Remember not to beat yourself up for failing to love yourself

immediately. It is a process. Show yourself compassion and understand

that it will take time to see yourself in the positive light that you should.

Remind yourself that you are worth loving. Many people tend to get

insecure about themselves, when in all reality we are all human beings!

Always believe in yourself, and be the confident, optimistic you.

Accept progression at any pace. Don't rush yourself to become

something too quickly, and don't lose patience with yourself. There's no

need to stress over time, because you have your whole life.

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

Show 15 more tips

Loving yourself does not mean grabbing all of the attention and

becoming selfish. It is actually a golden confidence that whispers, "I

know when it is my time to shine, and I can become selfless."

Tips

Warnings

Trust who you are, and decide the answers for you. Do not alter yourself

because of the things people say.

"Misery loves company, so do not hang-around unhappy, frowning and

grouchy people."

Your problems give you opportunities to develop skills, abilities, and

your character.

Loving oneself is different from self-adoration or narcissism, which are

negative and a huge turn off to others as they involve placing oneself

above others.

Trust your own judgement. Everything suggested, while it may work for

the person who added it, might not work for you. Learn to trust yourself,

as that is a big part of self-love.

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,083,033 times.

Categories: Building and Maintaining Self Confidence

Recent edits by: Souleaterkid88, Rhi112, Elpisbak

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