Henry’s Top Twenty Hates

Henry’s Top Twenty HatesThese errors upset me particularly because they simply

shouldn’t be there. We correct them in our students’ first year, again in their second year, then again in their

third year and finally in their fourth year...

Henry’s Top Twenty HatesLet’s start at number 20 and go down

from there...

20. Listening to music will make you study harder

20. Listening to music will make you study harder

20. Listening to music will make you study harder. No – sorry, but listening to music might help you to study harder, but the word make suggests that you will have no alternative but to study harder, which is obviously crazy. The word ‘make’ is usually used to signify insistence (he made me do it), or creation (I made a cake). Be careful when using it!.

19. I like to play computer when I am at home.

19. I like to play computer when I am at home.

19. I like to play computer when I am at home. Really? What music do you play? No – sorry – you can’t ‘play computer’, or ‘play Songkran’ either. You can play either a musical instrument (I play the piano) or a game or sport (I play tennis), and nothing else! You can, however, play games on your computer, or even play computer games, but never just a computer.

18. It’s mean that we are rich!

18. It’s mean that we are rich!

18. It’s mean that we are rich! No, no and no! The expression ‘it’s mean’ simply does not exist in English. It should be ‘it means’, but for some reason lots of people put the ‘s’ in the wrong place. Simple, really, but unnecessary.

17. My teacher always gives me good advices.

17. My teacher always gives me good advices.

17. My teacher always gives me good advices. No, sorry, but the word ‘advice’ is uncountable, and so ‘advices’ is impossible. Your teacher can only give you good ‘advice’ however willing and helpful he or she is...

16. Some say people that Som Tam is delicious, which I agree with this.

16. Some say people that Som Tam is delicious, which I agree with this.

16. Some say people that Som Tam is delicious, which I agree with this. What do you agree with? ‘Which’ or ‘this’? You cannot have two objects of the verb ‘to agree’, so the easiest way to fix this is to leave one of them out. You can either say ‘...which I agree with.’ or ‘...and I agree with this.’

15. I care my mother very much.

15. I care my mother very much.

15. I care my mother very much. Sorry – no again. Two possible solutions here. You can either care for your mother, which means that you love her very much, or you can take care of your mother, which means that you look after her, cook for her, etc. Sorry that they are so similar, and yet so different from Thai!

14. Absolutely, music is good for you.

14. Absolutely, music is good for you.

14. Absolutely, music is good for you. The word ‘absolutely’ is extremely complex and quite dangerous. It is used much more in spoken English than written English, so, if you are not absolutely sure how to use it, don’t!

13. , while I did something else.

13. , while I did something else.

13. , while I did something else. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever put a comma at the beginning of a line. It doesn’t happen, and never should. Just don’t do it!

12. According to the report, it says that we should...

12. According to the report, it says that we should...

12. According to the report, it says that we should... Never! The phrase ‘According to somebody (or something)...’ is good if used correctly, but it means exactly the same thing as ‘Somebody (or something) says that...’. This therefore should read either, “The report says that we should...”, or “According to the report, we should...”. Remember this and you will do well!

11. She has been my best friend until now!

11. She has been my best friend until now!

11. She has been my best friend until now! Oh dear, what’s gone wrong? The expression ‘until now’ means that something has very recently changed, and what was true yesterday or even ten minutes ago is now no longer true. ‘She has always been my best friend and still is’ is fine, unless you have just had a big fight...

The Top Ten...

OK, we’ve survived thus far

Let’s see what upsets him a bit more!

10. I was very interesting in that subject.

10. I was very interesting in that subject.

10. I was very interesting in that subject. No you weren’t – you were interested. It’s simply a case of active or passive, so think about it when you write and try it get it right! As a very rough guide, if it is a thing that you are talking about, the adjective often ends in _ing, but if it is about you or another person, it often ends in _ed.

9. And I love him.

9. And I love him.

9. And I love him. Never start a sentence with ‘And’, ‘But’ or ‘So; in academic or ‘Hi-so’ English. All three of them refer back to the first half of a sentence, so there is no need to start a new sentence.

8. Even it is raining, we are going out.

8. Even it is raining, we are going out.

8. Even it is raining, we are going out. No! In this context, the word ‘even’ must be followed by a conjunction, almost always ‘if’ or ‘though’ depending on the rest of the sentence.

7. About English, I enjoy learning it.

7. About English, I enjoy learning it.

7. About English, I enjoy learning it. No! We never introduce a topic of a sentence like that. Instead, we simply go straight into it and say, “I like learning English”.

6. ‘I do all the cooking at home by myself.’

6. ‘I do all the cooking at home by myself.’

6. ‘I do all the cooking at home by myself.’ How very sad for you! To do something ‘by yourself’ (or ‘by myself’, ‘by himself’, etc.) means that you do it all alone, with nobody else in the room with you. To do something all by yourself just emphasises the loneliness. Think lonely! If, however, you say, ‘I do all the cooking at home myself’, (without the word ‘by’) this emphasises that it is you and nobody else who does the cooking at home, although you may not actually be alone in the kitchen.

5. Pui is just only seventeen!

5. Pui is just only seventeen!

5. Pui is just only seventeen! No, please no! This is called a redundancy in English, and something that is redundant is something that is not needed. The words ‘just’ and ‘only’ mean exactly the same thing, so why say the same thing twice? ‘She is just seventeen’ means the same as ‘She is only seventeen’, so use either, but please not both at the same time!

4. ‘Because I love you, so I will pay for this meal’ or ‘Although I failed the exam, but I’m still happy.’

4. ‘Because I love you, so I will pay for this meal’ or ‘Although I failed the exam, but I’m still happy.’

4. ‘Because I love you, so I will pay for this meal’ or ‘Although I failed the exam, but I’m still happy.’ The use of ‘double conjunctions’ like this (because / so, although / but) is fine in Thai, but not in English. It just causes confusion. Don’t do it!

The Top Three

Now let’s see what really gets him crying...

3. Fern really wants to entrance Silpakorn University.

3. Fern really wants to entrance Silpakorn University.

3. Fern really wants to entrance Silpakorn University. No! Never!! The word ‘entrance’ is a noun. It always has been and it always will be. To say that you want to entrance a university is like saying that you want to government a country. It just doesn’t make sense. The associated verb is to ‘enter’. This should therefore read ‘Fern really wants to enter SU’, but if you want to sound even more natural, you would just say, ‘Fern really wants to get into SU.’

2. The tourism industry is good for Thai social.

2. The tourism industry is good for Thai social.

2. The tourism industry is good for Thai social. No! Absolutely not!! Never!!! The word ‘social’ is an adjective. It always has been and it always will be. There is therefore no such thing as ‘Thai social’, but, instead, ‘Thai society’ is an important part of the country’s culture. You cannot study ‘social’, but you can study ‘social science’ or ‘social studies’. Grrr...

... and now for the one that really upsets him and has him banging his head against walls...

1. Most/both/some/many/one/two/all...of Thai students.

1. Most/both/some/many/one/two/all...of Thai students.

1. Most/both/some/many/one/two/all...of Thai students. The expression ‘most of...’ is almost always followed by the word ‘the’, (most of the students in this class), a proper noun, (most of Bangkok was inundated / most of Linda’s students) or a pronoun (most of them, etc.). There is no need to write ‘of’ in this expression when we are talking about something in general, such as ‘most Thai students’.

Don’t run away quite yet –

We haven’t quite finished!

Please also think about the following areas when you are checking your work. These four areas of English are the most ‘vulnerable’ areas – the ones where most mistakes are made – probably because they don’t appear in Thai. Do your best, and good luck!

a, an, the. The dreaded articles. You have been

told about these and their use endless times, and have completed endless exercises successfully, but, when it comes to writing something, perhaps you tend to forget what you already know! Remember that knowledge and use it well.

I go to Big C yesterday. Horrible tenses. Like articles, you

have had lots of practice in this area, but again you might tend to forget what you have learnt when you are writing something in English. Try to remember it all when writing!

My brother has two car. Singulars and plurals. I know that

they are nasty, but you really do know when to use which by now, so think about them when you write, and even more when you read through your work for errors.

His friend have two houses. Third person singular, present tense errors. Again, you probably first met these in Pratom One, but they are not natural to many of you. Think about them both when you write and when you check your work.

If you manage to conquer all these little nasties, then you will

write fabulous English and I will sleep

better at nights.

Good luck (and thank you)!