Heather Clarke (NCASA) and

Pauline Gilbert (CASA House)

Shared Counselling…

3-4 clients : 1 counsellorDeveloped at Dympna House, 1993Narrative therapy principles2 groups at NCASA – 2007/20122 group at CASA House – 2005/200615 x 2hr sessions

Format for sessions…Outsider Witness or Listening Team model

Check-InInitial sharing by one participantListeners respond to the sharerSharer responds to listeners’ responsesGeneral DiscussionCheckout using symbolsFacilitator notes

Women’s feedback…

What happens to us is usually not important…we push it aside to focus on others…but here in this group…we have a Voice and an Ear…

I feel honoured that my ‘useless unimportant story has impacted on you…I could see the impact and that it’s not a useless unimportant story’

Challenging the impact of SA on relationship with Self…

Something is wrong with meNaming Shame / Self Blame / Self Loathing /

Self DoubtSharing SA experience →Shedding Shame Reducing Self Loathing through connecting

with SelfChallenging Self Blame

Women’s feedback…

That first session when I felt that this is a reality for others and we are sharing… that was a pivotal point in the beginning of shedding of shame - my sense of shame has dissipated to a large degree…that changes the way I view myself and relate to myself.

Challenging impact of SA on relationships with others…

Feeling there’s something wrong with usFeeling we’re too much for peopleThis makes us unlovable / unworthyFeeling accepted and seeing beyond the

sexual assaultThe possibility of being worthyConnecting with other parts of ourselves

Strengthening connection to other parts of Self…The Real Me…I have times when I feel

her….I know they’re not going to last so I hold on tight

I’ve named this part of me – my Introverted Self…It’s scary for me to accept my Introverted Self because I’ve invested so much in being a different me

This other part is my Essential Self, the God Self that can’t ever be damaged…she brings me moments of freedom

Women’s Voices…

Part of why the group is successful is because it’s small…trust is developing because we’re expressing ourselves… figuring out who we are…the group provides an opportunity to practice having contact with others based on trust and respect

Conversations about Intimacy

SA secret → fear of being unloveableThe unsafe triangle after sexual assaultNot giving relationships a chance → the

Prison of SafetyNot trusting self vs knowing we are worthy

and trusting ourselves to manage risk

Women’s experience of SCGLess isolated / SupportedSafe to shareFeeling heard / understood / not judgedHopeNot defined by SA → different self viewDifferent relationship with sexual assault+ve feedback re narrative model of SCG

Changes associated with Self…

↓ Self Blame / Self Judgment↑ Self Acceptance / Self Respect / PeaceStronger sense of self More confidence to trust in our feelingsMore confident in relationships↑ Self Esteem

Women’s feedback…

The group was like a tapestry…the process was like teasing out knots… unpicking the strands of the different aspects of the experience. I’ve had a strong experience of healing, of shedding and getting rid of stuff and of a new person emerging

Women’s feedback… Within this group I’ve been aware of the

transformation of women… I’ve felt that we all have broken damaged

wings but that we’ve been able to come into this safe space and share deep dark experiences…

Through this experience, particularly the safety and lack of judgment, we’ve all been transformed

Women’s feedback…

I believe the key is the sharing with others…both in believing the other members care about how I am, and in hearing and sharing in their difficulties.

I feel free and I never thought I would.

CASA House 2005AIM:

To offer alternative counselling services that reach more women, reduce waiting periodsOffer flexibility within service deliveryTrial new ways of working in counselling that complement a feminist narrative approach

Why narrative ideas and practicesFrom a feminist perspective, shared

counselling is a political decision about further decentring the counsellor

What we know from our group work is that women gain strength through sharing stories, “identities are constructed through stories” (Michael White, 1995)

Feminist practice is about a commitment to “validate women’s voices and their stories in the face of inequality”

Pre-counselling interview/sellShared counselling is an alternative to individual

counselling and is seen to challenge the secrecy/closed door nature of traditional sexual assault counselling.

It will allow you the time to work on your own issues and gain strength through sharing stories.

It will validate your experience through linking you in with the stories of others, building upon individual contributions, gaining insight and support from others.

Pre-counselling – Evaluation 1When asked about the perceived advantagesShared experiences/ coping mechanismsEmpathyFriendshipsGiving perspectiveIdentifying similar feelings which may help the healing

Pre-counselling – Evaluation 1Perceived disadvantages/fears

Feeling vulnerable and exposed to strangersFearful may not relate to each otherNot feeling as open as othersTime constraints

6 Week evaluationUseful aspects so farBeing exposed to and learning from other’s views, ideas and coping strategiesHaving space and freedom to express their own feelingsThe positive support from others which led to empowerment and not feeling aloneThe “me too” factorThe experience of not feeling alone and not crazy and learning about survival from each other

6 Week evaluation- cont.The impact of the group was immeasurable –

describing just how beneficial the group sessions were one woman commented

“Rather than feeling like I was just being fed lines to get me through to the next session, the shared counselling provided me with living real examples of different ways to move forward … while this was more challenging it’s benefit was a million times more helpful”

Final evaluationBenefits identified by the womenNot feeling aloneUnderstanding that many fears were the result of the abuse experiencedKnowing they could and would surviveSleeping betterNot as angryFeeling that emotions were normal

Final evaluation – cont.One felt that by

“listening to others explore issues and by learning from their experiences I have become a better mother, partner, sibling and woman in the world, I am less negative and destructive and as a result there is a place in the world for me”

Counsellor’s perspectiveAt times I felt outside a ring of women dancing together!

The overall experience was one of great satisfaction, sitting outside and alongside women supporting, educating and caring for each other, linked by a common experience of violence; women learning to know that they do not need to be defined by their experience, that they are not less or mad but feeling, alive and healthy individuals

A cardboard cut-out takes shapeI was a two-dimensional vacant human A cardboard cut-outI had no voice, no heart, no pleasureToday, I have a voice, I feel emotions, I have some

pleasureI have moments of intense clarityDirectionPositive thoughtsI am halfway thereTo sexual assault, to incest, to violence of any kind from one human to anotherI say NOMy children say NOTheir children say NO It stops here with me

(Written by one of the participants and presented to the group at their last meeting)