GRIEF

ROBERTA TEMES

• Stages of Grief:

1. Numbness

• Mechanical functioning and social insulation

2. Disorganization

• Intensely painful feelings of loss

3. Reorganization

• Re-entry into a more ‘normal’ social life

GEORGE BONANNO• Suggests avoiding feelings has a protective function

• Expressing negative emotions can prolong grief

• Research on 9/11:

• Those who did not express their reactions immediately showed fewer signs of distress 2 years later

• Those who were asked to express their reactions immediately had a harder time adjusting 2 years later• Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (2008)

GRIEVING• BUT:

• Asking people about an event immediately does not give the person a chance to process the information in their own time.

• It implies that they should be upset.

GRIEVING• Grief is never over.

• Worst grief within 6 months

• As time passes, we focus more on good memories than sadness

• If there are unresolved issues that cause emotional pain, it may help to talk to someone

• Counseling only shows a benefit when participants displayed difficulty adapting to loss

ELIZABETH KUBLER-ROSS• Studied 500+ participants with terminal illness or

who experienced catastrophic loss

• Identified 5 stages of grief

• As with all stage theories- are they really concrete? Do we go through ALL and in the same order?

• Role of age:

• How do we feel if the person is 103?

• How do we feel if the person is 10?

STAGE 1: DENIAL

• Usually only a temporary defense for the individual

• Feeling is often replaced with heightened awareness of who will be left behind after death

• “I’m fine.”

• “This can’t be happening to me.”

UP House flying scene: whole clip (3:00)

STAGE 2: ANGER

• Individual recognizes that denial cannot continue

• Misplaced feelings of rage, resentment or blame

• “Why me?!”

• “It’s not fair!”

• “How can this happen to me?”

Romeo and Juliet: whole clip (2:30)

STAGE 3: BARGAINING

• Hope that death can be postponed.

• Often negotiation with a higher power in exchange for reformed behavior

• “ Just let me live to see my grandchildren graduate”

• “I’ll do anything for a few more years.”

Beauty and the Beast: 0-2:30 OR 4:30

STAGE 4: DEPRESSION

• Begin to understand the certainty/finality of death

• May become silent, refuse visitors, spend time crying

• Not recommended to try to cheer a person up in this stage- an important part of processing.

• “Why bother with anything?”

• “What’s the point?”

Lion King: 1:30-4:00

STAGE 5: ACCEPTANCE

• Individual begins to come to terms with mortality

• “It’s going to be okay”

Forest Gump: whole clip (1:50)

Up mementos: whole clip (3:18)

TERMINATOR 2• Watch John Connor, Sarah Connor, and the

Terminator in this scene. Identify one example of each stage of grief according to Kubler-Ross:

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance