grief counseling for muslim preschool and elementary school children

112 JOURNAL OF MULTICULTURAL COUNSELING AND DEVELOPMENT • April 2010 • Vol. 38

© 2010 American Counseling Association. All rights reserved.

Grief Counseling for Muslim Preschool and Elementary School ChildrenJenniferBaggerlyandSalmaElkadiAbugideiri

This article describes Sunni Muslims’ view of death, mourning and burial ritu-als, and accepted healing practices. Interventions for addressing death with Muslim children, group counseling, play therapy, and community outreach are discussed. A case study of interventions for coping with a preschool Muslim boy’s death is provided.

Este artículo describe la perspectiva sobre la muerte, el luto y los rituales de enterramiento, así como las prácticas de curación aceptadas de los musulmanes suníes. Se discuten intervenciones para tratar de la muerte con niños musulmanes, consejería de grupo, terapia de juego y vinculación con la comunidad. Se incluye un estudio de caso de intervenciones para el afrontamiento de la muerte de un niño musulman en edad preescolar.

I slamcontinuestobethefastestgrowingreligionintheUnitedStates,withtheadultMuslimpopulationmorethandoublingfrom527,000in1990to1,349,000in2008(U.S.CensusBureau,2009).Othersources

estimatethatthereareroughlysixmillionMuslimadultsandchildrenliv-ingintheUnitedStates(Strum&Tarantolo,2003).MuslimsintheUnitedStatescomefromvariousethnicandculturalbackgrounds:Approximately33%areSouthAsian,30%areAfricanAmerican,25%areArab,and12%arecategorizedasother(Bagby,Perl,&Froehle,2001).AlthoughMuslimsarethefastestgrowingreligiouspopulationintheUnitedStates,S.R.Ali,Liu,andHumedian(2004)statedthat“theyalsoremainoneofthemostmisunderstoodcommunities”(p.641).Counselors need training to serve the growing population ofMuslims.Counselorshaveanethicalandprofessionalresponsibilitytodevelopmul-ticultural competence, including serving clients fromdifferent religions(Arredondo, 1999; Sue,Arredondo,&McDavis, 1992).They need to beaware of their own cultural experienceswith and biases towardMuslimsandworktodeveloppositiveattitudestowardMuslims,acquireknowledgeand understanding regarding Muslims’ worldviews and how discrimination affectsMuslims,anddevelopskillsinreligiouslyappropriateinterventionstrategiesforMuslims(Hedayat-Diba,2000;Roysircar,2003).Furthermore,counselorsneedtopromotesocialjusticethroughequityinresourcesandservicesformarginalizedgroupswhodonotshareequalpower in society becauseof issues such as religiousheritage (Bemak&

Jennifer Baggerly, Department of Psychological and Social Foundations, University of South Florida; Salma Elkadi Abugideiri, private practice, Reston, Virginia. Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Jennifer Baggerly, Department of Psychological and Social Foundations, College of Education, University of South Florida, 4202 East Fowler Avenue, EDU 105, Tampa, FL 33620 (e-mail: [email protected]).

JOURNAL OF MULTICULTURAL COUNSELING AND DEVELOPMENT • April 2010 • Vol. 38 113

Chung,2005;Constantine,Hage,Kindaichi,&Bryant,2007).AfterSep-tember11,2001,Muslimsexperienceda70%increaseinthenumberofcivil rights violations that occurred in places such as government agencies andschools(CouncilonAmerican-IslamicRelations,2006).Counselorscanpromotesocial justice throughadvocating forMuslims,performingcommunityoutreach,facilitatinguseofindigenoussupportsystemsandhealingmethods,andtailoringinterventionstomatchIslamicbeliefsys-tems(Hamdan,2007).Researchers have previously addressed negative stereotypes ofMuslims(Carter,1999)andexplainedreligiouslysensitivetherapeuticapproachesforadults(S.R.Alietal.,2004;Hamdan,2007;Hedayat-Diba,2000;Roysircar,2003).However,specificinterventionssuchasgriefcounselingforpreschooland elementary schoolMuslim childrenhavenot been addressed in theliterature.Helpingchildrenprocessdeath,particularlytraumaticdeath,isachallengethatrequiresknowledgeofdevelopmentallyappropriateinter-ventionsandanunderstandingconcerningtheculturalandreligiousbeliefsofachild’sfamily(Webb,2002a).ToprovidegriefcounselingforMuslims,counselorsneedtounderstand(a)Muslims’viewofdeath,mourningandburial rituals, and accepted healing practices and (b) appropriate griefcounselinginterventions,suchasteacherandparentconsultation,discuss-ingdeathwithMuslimchildren,groupgriefcounseling,playtherapy,andcommunityoutreachandadvocacy.ThepurposeofthisarticleistoprovidecounselorswiththisknowledgetoincreasetheirmulticulturalcompetenceinprovidinggriefcounselingtoMuslimchildren.Becauseofspacelimita-tions,onlySunniMuslims’viewswillbediscussed.Approximately85%to90%ofMuslimsadheretotheSunnitradition(Hamdan,2007).

religious beliefs and cultural overviewISLAMIC VIEW OF DEATH

Islam teaches that death is the will of Allah(God)andapartoflife(Philips,2005;Smith&Haddad,2002).Yasien-EsmaelandRubin(2005)statedthatthebasisoftheIslamicviewofdeathis“theunderlyingbelief...thatoneshouldandcantakecomfortknowingthatlifeanddeathareinaccordwithGod’swill,thatthesoulreturnstoGod,andthatthecommunityissupportiveofthebereaved”(p.495).MuslimsareexpectedtobeartheirlosspatientlyinacceptanceofGod’swill(Mohamed,2004).Islamteachesthatbelieverswhoaccumulate“gooddeeds”willberewardedwithjannah(eternallifeinparadise).Childrenwhodiewillbeinjannahbecausetheyhavenotreachedtheageofaccountability(Smith&Haddad,2002).BecauseMuslims’viewsofdeathvarygreatlyonthebasisoftheirethnicbackgrounds,cultures,acculturationtotheUnitedStates,andlevelsofre-ligiosity,counselorsshouldassesseachofthesefactorsbeforeapplyingthe


informationprovidedpreviously.Forexample,counselorsmayask,“Whatdoesyourreligionandcultureteachyouaboutdeath?”and“Howdoesthisbeliefhelpyouormakeitdifficultforyoutodealwithdeath?”

MOURNING RITUALS

Islamstipulatesthattheformalmourningperiodis3days,duringwhichtimefriendsandrelativesvisitthefamilyofthedeceasedtooffercondolences(Philips,2005).However,mourningritualsvarywidelybetweenandwithincultures. In some cultures (e.g., Egyptian andLebanese), expressions ofgriefareusuallyquietandrestrained(Smith&Haddad,2002).Forthesecultures,cryingispermitted;however,wailing,screaming,strikingcheeks,andtearingclothesarediscouragedbecausesuchdisplayssuggestdisplea-surewithAllah’sactions(Philips,2005).SomeMuslimsbelievethatwailingcan cause the deceased to suffer (Mohamed,2004).OthersviewthelossofalovedoneaspartofthetestthatGodgiveshisbelievers(Philips,2005).Incontrast,othercultures(e.g.,PakistaniandsomeArabgroups)permitwomentowail,beatthemselves,striketheirheadsagainstthewall,orpourash over themselves as displays of their grief (Harrop-Griffiths,Hirsch,Kendall,&Symon,1990;Islam,2004).AfterlearningthataMuslimchildhasdied,peoplemayrespondinseveralmanners.A.Y.Ali(1989)statedthatMuslimsoftenreciteaversefromtheQur’an(holybookofMuslims):“toAllahwebelongandtoHimisourre-turn”(2:156).Non-Muslimsmaysoftlysay,“Iamsosorry,”thensitsilentlywiththebereavedforawhile(Islam,2004).Preparingfoodforthefamilyofthedeceasedisanacceptableandwelcomepractice(Philips,2005).Thosewhoknewthepersonwellcancitethegoodqualitiesofthedeceasedasawaytoinspireotherstoberighteous(Philips,2005).ReadingtheQur’anisoftencomforting.Parentswhoexperiencethelossofachildmayalsotakecomfort in hadiths (traditionsof theprophetMuhammad),oneofwhichdescribestherewardofparadisethatGodpromisestotheparents(Ibrahim&Johnson-Davies,1980).

BURIAL RITUALS

Afteradeath,Muslimspreparethebodyforburialassoonaspossible(Sid-diqi,2004).Closerelativesorcommunitymemberswashthebodyinaritualpurificationprocess.Thebodyisleftinitsnaturalstate,withoutmakeup,embalming,orotherenhancements,ifpossible(Mohamed,2004).Thebodyisthenwrappedinwhite,seamlesssheetsandtakentothejanazah(funeralprayer)location(Philips,2005).Funeralsaretypicallyheldwithin24hoursofthedeathandcanbeheldinamosque,inaprayerhall,oratthegravesite(Mohamed,2004).Becauseparticipationinthejanazahisacommunityresponsibility,itisopentoeveryone.


Muslimsmustbeinastateofpurificationbeforeparticipatinginanyritualprayer(Philips,2005).Theyperformwudu(ablution),whichisaritualwash-ing of thehands, face, and feet. Shoes are removedbefore entering theprayerhall,whichmayhave separate spaces formenandwomen.Womenmust adhere to hijab(wearingtraditionalheadcoveringandmodestcloth-ingthatcoverstheirbodies).Theimam(Muslimreligiousleader)leadsthecongregationalprayerandmayofferasermonandprayersforGodtoforgiveandhavemercyonthedeceased.Aftertheprayer,thebodyisburiedfacingthe qiblah(directionofprayer)withoutacoffin,unlessacoffinisrequiredbystatelaw(Philips,2005).

ACCEPTED HEALING PRACTICES

Relatives and friends are encouraged to resume their usual routines as much as possibleafter3daysofgrieving(Philips,2005;Yasien-Esmael&Rubin,2005).Incontrast,notimelimitexistsfortheexpectationofrecovery,especiallyafterasuddendeath(Hedayat,2006).Areturntofunctioningshouldbedistinguishedfrommanagingmemoriesandattachmentstothedeceased,whichtakesmoretime(Rubin&Yasien-Esmael,2004).Muslimsmanagememoriesandattach-mentsthroughvariouspersonallymeaningfulmethods,suchaswritingpoetry,readingtheQur’an,anddoinggooddeedsforthebenefitofthedeceased.Muslimsmayalsofindcomfortincommunalactivitiesandcongregationalprayersatthemosque,whichoftenfunctionsasacommunitycenterforsocialandreligiousgatherings.MuslimsattendthemosqueforFridaycongregationalservicesandsometimesforthefivedailyobligatoryprayers.Prayersprovidea sourceof comfortbecausebereaved familymembers connectwithGod;feelsupportedbyhispresence;andareremindedthatultimately,allpeoplewillreturntotheirCreator.TheprevalenceofprayerasacommoncopingstrategyformanyMuslimswassupportedbyAwwad’s(1999)surveyofhowPalestiniansdealtwithmentalhealthconcerns.Awwadfoundthat90%ofthesurveyedMuslimsusedprayer,95%usedconfessionstoGodofone’swrongdeeds,and61%readtheQur’an.SeekingcounselingisnotatypicalhealingpracticeamongMuslims,espe-cially immigrantMuslims.Muslims tend tohaveanegativeviewofmentalhealthcareprovidersbecauseofunfamiliaritywiththerolethatmentalhealthclinicians serve inAmerican society(S.R.Alietal.,2004). Inmanyothercountries,mentalhealthprofessionalstreatonlypeoplewithseverementalillnesses,suchasschizophrenia,ratherthanpeoplewhoareadjustingtolife’schallenges(S.R.Alietal.,2004).Furthermore,one’sfamilyandfaithinGodareexpectedtobeenoughtosolveproblems(Awwad,1999). Inaddition,disclosing apersonal or familial problemoutsideof the family is discour-aged(S.R.Alietal.,2004).Psychologicalsymptomsareoftenexperiencedsomaticallybecausephysical symptoms, suchas faintingorheadaches, aremoresociallyacceptable(S.R.Alietal.,2004).


ToprovideculturallyappropriateinterventionstoMuslimfamilies,counselorsareadvisedto(a)addressMuslimfamilies’attitudesregardingcounseling;(b)seek tounderstandreligiousandculturalpracticesandvalues;(c)considertheirMuslimclients’ levelsofacculturation;(d)acknowledge the influenceofnegativestereotypesandprejudice;(e)recognizefamilymembersasare-source;(f)consultwithparentsasmutuallearnersintheprocess;(g)recognizethatthefatherisresponsibleforexternalfamilymatters;(h)offerindividualcounseling rather thangroupcounselingonprivate familymatters; and(i)empowerfamiliesthroughcollaboration,recognizingfamilycompetence,andconnectingfamilieswithcommunityresources(S.R.Alietal.,2004;Carter,1999;Roysircar,2003).

grief counseling interventions with children

After a death, counselors canprovide religiously respectful interventionstoMuslimpreschoolandelementaryschoolchildrenthroughteacherandparent consultation,groupgrief counseling,play therapy, andcommunityoutreachandadvocacy.Beforeimplementingtheseinterventions,counselorsshouldexamine theirownattitudes towardMuslims, attempt toovercometheirprejudicesconcerningMuslims,acceptMuslims’needtotalkaboutGod,bewillingtoendureinitialclientawkwardnesswheninteractingwithpeoplefromadifferentreligionandculture,andfocusonthehumanitarianneedforcompassion(Roysircar,2003).AgenuinedesiretolearnaboutMuslimsand sincereexpressionsof carewillusuallyprevailoveranyunintentionalreligious or cultural fauxpas. Examples of grief counseling interventionsimplementedafterthedeathofapreschoolMuslimboyareprovided.

TEACHER AND PARENT CONSULTATION

Beforeinterveningwithchildren,counselorsshouldprovidesupportandconsulta-tiontoteacherswhoareoftenthefirstprofessionalstointeractwithchildrenafterthenewsofadeath.Teachersneedtoknowfactualdetailsoftheevent.Ideally,thedetailsshouldbeconveyedbyafamilyrepresentativesothatteacherscanempha-sizethefactsthatareimportanttothefamily.Forexample,thefamilyofaMuslimpreschoolboywhodrownedrequestedthatteachersreadastatement:

Bynow,allofyouprobablyknowaboutthesadnewsinourschool.AllofyouknowthatYusufisnothereanymore.(Note.Perthefamily’srequest,theactualnameofthechildhasbeenusedasawaytohonorhismemory.Writtenpermissiontousetheboy’snamewasobtainedfromthefamilyrepresentative.)Someofyoumaynotknowwhathappened.HewasplayingoutsidewithhisbrotheronThursdayevening.Thentheywentinside.Afterafewminutes,hisbrotherandmomrealizedthatYusufwasmissing,sotheywentlookingforhim.TheyfoundYusufintheswimmingpool,andhisbrother


jumpedinandbroughthimoutofthewater.Yusuf’sheartwasnotbeatinganymore.Quickly,theambulancecametotakehimtothehospital.Thedoctorsandhismomtriedtomakehisheartstartagain,buttheycouldnot.WeknowthatAllah,subhana wa ta’ala(mostglorious,mosthigh)decidedtotakehimtojannah.WeknowthatYusufishappyinjannahandhaseverythinghewants.

Counselorsshouldalsoinformteachersof(a)uniquereligiousandculturalbeliefsandpractices,(b)typicalandatypicalsymptomsofchildren,(c)therangeofavailablecounselinginterventionsandresources,and(d)basicstabilizationinterventionsforupsetchildren.

Typical symptoms.AsindicatedinthemainstreamEuropeanAmericanliterature,thetypicalbereavementsymptomsofchildren3through7yearsoldareexcessiveworrythatotherswilldie,separationanxiety,regressivebehaviorssuchasthumbsucking,fearofthedark,avoidanceofthingsassociatedwiththedeceased,andreenactmentthroughtraumaticplay(LeVieux,1999;Webb,2002b).Theirgriefresponsestendtobeintensebutbrief(i.e.,cryingfor5minutesfollowedbyplay-ingwithafavoritetoy).Children8through10yearsoldmayworryabouttheirowndeaths,exhibitincreasedfightingandaggression,displayhyperactivityandinattentiveness,andwithdrawfromfriends.Theymaysecretlyfearthattheycausedthedeathorthatanotherlovedonewilldie.Theymayavoidspeakingabouttheirfearsandgriefbecausetheywanttobeviewedas“normal”liketheirpeers(LeVieux,1999).Adolescentstendtoexhibitsomaticcomplaints;otherexpressionsincludedepressionamonggirlsandfightingamongboys(Webb,2002b).WhetherMuslimchildrenalsoexhibittherangeoftypicalsymptomsisunclearbecausenocurrentresearchonU.S.Muslimchildren’sbereavementsymptomsexists.Itispossiblethatstrongreligiousfaithmaydecreasechildren’ssymptoms.Ontheotherhand,theculturalvalueofrestrainedgriefexpressionforsomeMuslims(e.g.,Egyptian,Lebanese,andEuropeanAmerican)couldresultinsomechildrenhavingmoreinternalizedsymptomsofdepressionandanxiety.Eitherway,mentalhealthpractitioners shouldbe awareof thesepotentialsymptomsandscreenchildrenasneeded.CounselorscanlearnaboutrelevantassessmentmeasuresbyconsultingtheNationalChildTraumaticStressNetwork’sMeasuresReviewDatabase(http://www.nctsn.org).

Stabilization interventions.Tohelpchildrenresolvetheirsymptoms,teachersshouldprovideopportunitiesforchildrentoexpresstheirfeelingsthroughart,play,orjournalinginwaysthatareconsistentwiththeirfaith.Forexample,Muslimchildrencandoagooddeedbymakingasympathycard,usepuppetstoreenactthegooddeedsofthedeceased,orwritehadithsonposterstoaf-firmtheirfaithinGod.Ifstudentsbecomeupsetduringclass,teacherscanhelpstabilizethembypromptingthemtotakedeepbreaths,excusingthemtogetadrinkofwaterorvisittherestroom,andprovidingthemaquietareatorelaxorpray.It isvery importantforteacherstovalidatestudents’ feel-ingsandexplainthatsuchfeelingsarecommonresponsesthatusuallylastashorttime.Limitsshouldbesetondisruptivebehaviorbyacknowledging


children’sfeelings,communicatinglimitsondisruptivebehavior,andtargetingalternativewaysofexpressingtheirfeelings(Landreth,2002).Forexample,a teacher could say, “I know you are angry that Yusuf died, but throwingthingsisdangerous.Youcanchoosetodrawyourfeelingsonapaperorgotothegymtorun.”Teachersshouldreferchildrenwhoexperienceongoing,intensivesymptomstoaschoolorcommunitycounselor.MuslimteachersmaybepersonallyaffectedbythedeathofaMuslimstudentbecauseoftheircloserelationshipwiththedeceased.Forexample,afterYusuf’sdeath,oneteacherstated,“Hewaslikemyson.HowcanIteachmyclasssosoonafterhisdeath?”Tofacilitatesuchteachers’stabilizationbeforeinteractingwithchildren,counselorscouldsuggestthattheteachersidentifyandenactcopingstrategiestheytypicallyuse,suchastalkingwithfriends,prayer,orexercising.Someteachersmayprefertoreceivecomfortfromafewclosefriends,whereasothersmayprefertospeakwithacounseloralone.Teachersneedassurancethatsupportwillbeprovidedforthemasneeded.Consultation should also be provided toMuslimparentswho knew thedeceased. Parents should be given accurate details regarding the death,encouragedtodiscusstheeventwiththeirchildren,andinformedofavail-ablecounselinginterventionsandcommunityresources.Someparentsmaybelieve that they shouldprotect theirchildren from informationconcern-ingthedeath(Webb,2002b).Forexample,oneMuslimmotherattemptedtoprotectherdaughterby tellingher thatYusufhadgoneonvacation toEgypt.Afterherdaughterheardthefactsatschool,shecalledhermotheraliar,causingdistresstothemotherandtensionbetweentheschoolandherfamily.Counselors should reassureparents that “children learn about thefactsrelatedtodeathandasaresultbecomelessfearful.Asadults,theywillcopewithandprocessdifficult situations incommunicativeandsuccessfulways”(Griffin,2001,p.236).

DISCUSSING DEATH WITH MUSLIM CHILDREN

Whendiscussingdeathindividuallyorinsmallgroups,counselorsshouldusegeneral strategieswith appropriate adaptations for theMuslimworldview.Muslimchildren’sunderstandingofdeath,likethatofallchildren,iscom-mensuratewiththeirdevelopmental levels.Childreninpreschoolthroughthe second gradehavemagical thinking, believe that death is reversible,andmayeventhinktheycausedthedeath(LeVieux,1999).Withthisagegroup,teacherscanusesimpleandconcreteexplanationsthatincorporateAllahandjannah.Forexample,teacherscouldsay,“Yusuffellinthepool.Hisheartstoppedbeating.Hisfamilyandthedoctorsdideverythingtheycouldtohelphim,buthedied.HeisnotcomingbackbecausehewillalwaysbeinjannahwithAllah.”Storybookscanhelpreinforceyoungchildren’sunder-standingofdeathandteachhelpfulcopingstrategies(e.g.,Holmes,2000;Moser,1996;Prestine,2001).CounselorsshouldencouragetypicalMuslim


copingstrategiessuchasprayer,recitingtheQur’an,andrememberingthedeceasedwithfamilyandfriends.Itisalsohelpfultoemphasizegeneralcop-ingstrategiesofrelaxing,playing,drawing,crying,eatinghealthyfoods,andsoforth(Gil,2006).Becauseyoungchildrenmaynotunderstandthatdeathispermanent,theywilloftenaskwhetherthedeceasediscomingback.Forexample,“IfIamgood,willYusufbebackforRamadan?”Counselorscanprovidewarmandsimple responses that reflect the children’s feelings and remind them of the facts.Forexample,“YoumissYusuf.Remember,hedied.ThatmeansheisnotcomingbackforRamadan.HewillalwaysbeinjannahwithAllah.ButwewillrememberhiminRamadan.”Childrenmayalsomakestatementsaboutjoiningthedeceasedindeath.Forexample,“IwanttodiesoIcangotojan-nahtobewithYusuf.”Althoughthesestatementsmaybedisturbing,adultsshouldvalidatetheunderlyingintentandreligiousbeliefwhilereinforcingsafetyissuesandrealitiesofdeath.Theadultcouldsay,“YoumissYusufsomuch.Allahistheonewhodecideswhenwedie.HewantedYusufinjannah,buthewantsyoutobesafehere.Ifyoudied,Iwouldcryandmissyou.”Youngchildren’slimitedconceptsoftimeandspacepreventthemfrombe-ingabletosequenceeventswithinthepropercontextandtimeframe(Webb,2002b).Forexample,oneboyrememberedswimminginYusuf’spool,whichactuallyoccurredinJune.WhenhewastoldthatYusufdrowned,hebelievedthathewasthereduringtheAugustevent,eventhoughhewasnot:“IwasthereatYusuf’spoolandjumpedintotrytosavehimwhenhedrowned.Ididsavehimbutthenhediedwhenthepolicecame.”Thistypeofmagicalthinkingprotectschildren’segoorsenseofselfasastrongandgoodfriend.Ratherthanreprimandingthechildrenforlying,theadultmustrecognizethe intention of such statements and provide accurate information:

Oh,yourememberbeingatYusuf’spoolatadifferenttime.Youwishyoucouldhavesavedhim.Youmisshim.Youwereagoodfriendtohim.Youwillbeagoodfriendtootherboystoo.ThispleasesAllah.

Thesestrategiesofprovidingsimple,concreteinformationmayhelpreorganizechildren’sthinking,butmayneedtoberepeatedmanytimesbecauseyoungchildrentendtoviewtheworldfromonlytheirownperspectives(Piaget&Inhelder,1969).Assuggestedbythemainstreamliterature(LeVieux,1999;Webb,2002b),childreninthirdthroughfifthgradesusuallyunderstandthatdeathisperma-nentbutmayworryabouttheirowndeath,askingmanyquestionsregardingtheevent.Forexample,theymayask,“Willthathappentome?”or“WhydidAllahallowthistohappen?”Afterhavingaconcretediscussionofthedeathwiththechildren,counselorsshouldansweralltheirquestionscalmly,reflecttheirfeelings,statefacts,clarifyanymisunderstandings,andidentifycopingstrategies.Forexample,anadultcouldsay,


Youareworriedaboutyourownsafety.Youknownottogointhepoolwhenadultsarenotaround.Whatotherwaysdoyouknowtokeepyourselfsafearoundapool?Youareconfusedwhythishappened.Allahhasareasonforeverything,sothereissomereasonthatheallowedYusuftodieatthistime.Wemaynotunderstandwhatthatreasonis,butweshouldtrustinAllah’swisdom.

GROUP GRIEF COUNSELING

Muslimchildrenwhoshowongoingsymptomsorwhoaredeeplyaffectedbythedeathmaybenefitfrommoreintensivesmall-groupgriefcounseling.The potential effectiveness of small-group grief counseling with Muslim childrenisdemonstratedbyLayneetal.’s(2008)randomizedcontrolstudyof127predominatelyMuslimchildrenwhowereexposedtowarinBosnia.These researchers found that group counseling significantly decreasedadolescents’experiencesofposttraumaticstressdisorder,depression,andmaladaptive grief reactions.Children’s bereavement groups should haveparticipantswho are similar in age (within 2 years of each other), needgroupratherthanindividualcounseling,havethecapabilitytobenondis-ruptivetoothermembers,andcanmaintainconfidentiality(Griffin,2001;LeVieux,1999).Typically,8to10sessionslasting30to60minuteseachareplanned(Griffin,2001;LeVieux,1999).Goalsandcontentinclude(a)bondingandbuildingtrustthroughicebreakeractivitiesandthroughwelcomingandpartingrituals;(b)introducingtheMuslimconceptofdeaththroughstorybooksorcoloringbooksandrecitinghadithsortheQur’an;(c)exploringissues,feelings,andcognitionsconnectedtothedeaththroughstorybooks,art,puppetplay,ormovementactivities;(d)normalizingemotions,thoughts,andsymptomsandincreasingfaith-basedcognitionsrelatedtothedeaththroughstorybooksorgames;and(e)developingeffectivecopingskillsforthepresentandfuturethroughcreatingsafeplaces,remindersoffaiththroughartprojects,andsayinggood-byetoeachother(Griffin,2001;LeVieux,1999).Counselors can visit theIslamicBookstore(http://islamicbookstore.com)tofindMuslim-orientedchildren’s storybooksandcoloringbooks.Trustandsafetyaremaintainedthroughout thegroupbydevelopinggroup-made rules,highlightingeachmember’sstrengthsanduniqueness,allowingchildrentodeclineparticipa-tionwhentheyaretooupsetbyquestionsoractivities,settinglimitsonanddiscussingtheimpactsofdisruptivebehavior,andendingeachmeetingwithrelaxationactivities(Griffin,2001;LeVieux,1999).Beforeproceedingwithgroupcounseling,counselorsshouldconsultwithMuslimparents regardingways tomake the sessionsmore consistentwiththeir religious beliefs. For example, aMuslimparentmay visit the grouptoreadpassagesfromtheQur’an,provideahadithrelatedtodeath,offeraprayerforthedeceased,orprovidefamiliarsnacks.Askinggrouppartici-pantstoexplainhowIslamhelpsthemcopewithdeathmayincreaseasense


ofprideandcompetenceintheirreligion.Finally,developingstrategiesforparticipants to sharewith their familieswhat they learnedfromthegroupwilldemonstraterespectfortheirvalueoffamily.

PLAY THERAPY

As indicated in themainstreamEuropeanAmerican literature (Gil, 2006;Landreth,2002;Webb,2002b),playtherapyisadevelopmentallyappropri-ate intervention tohelp young childrenwhohave experienced thedeathofalovedone.Becausechildren2to10yearsoldarestillinthecognitivedevelopmental stageofpreoperationsorconcreteoperations, theydonothave the cognitive ability to fully communicate their grief throughwordsalone(Webb,2002b).Playtherapyhelpschildrenprocesstheirthoughtsandfeelingsconcerningdeath,aidsinresolvingsymptoms,buildsresiliency,andresumesthetypicaldevelopmentprocess(Gil,2006).Counselorsshouldpro-videselectedtoyssuchasbendabledollfamilies,zooanimals,rescuevehicles,ormedicalkits(Landreth,2002).Appropriatetherapeuticresponsesincludereflecting content and feelings, facilitatingdecisionmaking, encouraging,enlargingthemeaningoftheirplay,andfacilitatingaccurateunderstanding(Landreth,2002).Counselorscanviewvideos thatdemonstrate theseplaytherapyprocedures(e.g.,Baggerly,2005).WithMuslimchildren,counselorsshouldaffirmreligiousbeliefsthatariseduringplaytherapy.Forexample,Naafiah(apseudonym),a4-year-oldMuslimgirl,wasreferredforplaytherapybecauseshewashavingnightmaresafterYusufdrowned.Duringthefirstsession,sheplayedwithpuppets.Naafiahsaidthatmonsterscameduringhersleepbutbecamesmallerwithagreenbottleofpotion.Thetherapist(firstauthor)reflectedherfeelingsofbeingscaredandacknowledgedhercreativityandstrengthforcontrollingherfear.Thetherapiststated,“Youarescaredbythemonstersbutyouaresmartandstrongenoughtomakethemsmallerandlessscary.”NaafiahalsodrewapictureofherselfwithYusuf in thewaterand in jannah.The therapist respondedtotheunderlyingintent:“YouknowYusufwasinthewater.Youwishyouwerewithhim.Youmisshim.Youknowheisinjannahnowandyouarethinkingofhim.”Toencouragepositivecoping,thetherapistaskedNaafiahwhatshecoulddotofeelbetterwhenshemissedYusuf.NaafiahrepliedthatshewouldthinkofholdinghandswithYusuf.Inthesecondsession,NaafiahplayedwiththedollsandtoldYusuf’sstory:

Hewasplayinginthewater.Itoldhimnottorunanddiebuthedid.Yusuffellinthewateranddied.Iwasonmybikeinthestreetandcalledthefiremen.Theytookhimtothehospitalbutcouldn’tmakehisheartbeat.NowYusufandmygrandpaarewithAllahinjannah.Theyarewatchingcartoonsandarehappy.

Thetherapistrespondedbyaffirmingonlytheaccuratefactsandthechild’sintent:


YouknowYusuffellinthewateranddied.Youwishyoucouldhavesavedhimbutitwasanaccidentandnoonecouldsavehim.Itwasnoone’sfault.YouknowYusufandyourgrandpaarehappyinjannah.

AftertellingYusuf’sstory,Naafiahpretendedtocooksomefoodandgaveittothetherapist,demonstratingherpositiveself-conceptasanurturer.Sheendedthesessionbyblowingsoapbubbles,aplayfulrelaxationactivity.Naafiahseemed to have resolved the trauma and demonstrated positive coping strate-gies.Herparentsandteachersprovidedongoingsupportandindicatednofurthersessionswereneeded.

COMMUNITY OUTREACH AND ADVOCACY

AfterthedeathofaMuslimchild,communityoutreachtoMuslimsiscrucialtoshowthemsupport.AlthoughMuslimstendtorespecteducatedprofes-sionals, theymaybereluctanttoseekhelpfromnon-Muslimprofessionalsbecauseofpreviousexperiencesofdiscrimination,fearthattheywillnotbeunderstood,andtheirtendencytokeepissuesinthefamily.Therefore,itisimportantforcounselorstobeproactiveratherthanpassive(i.e.,waitingforMuslimfamiliestoseekservices).CounselorscanuseindigenoussupportsystemsbycollaboratingwithMuslimcommunityleaders.CounselorscouldinformMuslimleadersaboutchildren’stypicalgrief responsesanddevelopmentallyappropriate interventionsandoffertoprovideaguidancelessontochildrenatthelocalmosque.Muslimleaders could inform counselors about religious beliefs and customs andattendmeetingsat the school.Taking the time tobuildrelationshipswithMuslimcommunityleaderswillleadtoincreasedtrustbyMuslimfamiliesinneedofcounseling.Counselors should advocate forMuslims by removing the lack of accessbarrierstoschoolandcommunityresources.Forexample,ifschooladmin-istratorsdonotallowreligiousleaderstomeetwithstudentsintheschool,counselors could perhaps arrange a meeting location near the school after schoolhours.CounselorscouldarrangeforkeyMuslimleaderstohelplocalcounselingagenciesdevelopadvertisements,literature,andservicesthatap-pealtoMuslimfamilies.

conclusionMuslimchildrenareagrowingpopulationandavaluableanduniquepartofAmericancommunities.Theyneedreligiouslysensitivecounselinginterven-tionsduringtimesofbereavement.WiththisinformationonMuslims’viewofdeathandacceptedhealingpractices,counselorsneednotshyfromdiscussingdeathwithMuslim children andproviding grief counseling interventions.WhencollaboratingwithMuslimfamiliesandcommunitymembers,counselors


canfindpersonalwarmthandgenerosity,aswellasexternalresources,thatwillhelpMuslimchildrenthroughtheirbereavement.

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grief counseling for muslim preschool and elementary school children

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