god’s plan for marriage ephesians 5:21-33 message 2 in our 5-part series on ephesians 5 and 6

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1 God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on Ephesians 5 and 6. Sunday, January 27, 2013 Speaker: Doug Virgint

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Sunday, January 27, 2013 Speaker: Doug Virgint. God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on Ephesians 5 and 6. God’s plan for marriage. Introduction Context The foundational principle The wife’s roles and duties The husband’s roles and duties Conclusion. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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Page 1: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

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God’s plan for marriageEphesians 5:21-33

Message 2 in our 5-part series on Ephesians 5 and 6.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Speaker: Doug Virgint

Page 2: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

God’s plan for marriage

1. Introduction

2. Context

3. The foundational principle

4. The wife’s roles and duties

5. The husband’s roles and duties

6. Conclusion2

God’s plan for marriage

Page 3: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

God’s plan for marriage

1. Introduction

2. Context

3. The foundational principle

4. The wife’s roles and duties

5. The husband’s roles and duties

6. Conclusion3

God’s plan for marriage

Page 4: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Introduction

Counter-cultural!!

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Page 5: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

God’s plan for marriage

1. Introduction

2. Context

3. The foundational principle

4. The wife’s roles and duties

5. The husband’s roles and duties

6. Conclusion5

God’s plan for marriage

Page 6: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

The contextTwo imperatives:

Negative – be not drunk with wine

Positive – be filled with the Spirit

Followed by 5 participles that lay out what all that this

means 6

Page 7: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

The contextBe filled with the Spirit (18)

FIVE EVIDENCES AND OUT WORKINGS:

• Speaking (19)

• Singing (19)

• Making melody (20)

• Giving thanks (20)

• Submitting (21) 7

Page 8: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

The contextSubmitting (21)

• The final in a list of 5 participles

• A transition to a new subject

• To the three vital relationships that are the foundations for all societies

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Page 9: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

The contextSubmitting (21)

Vs Groups Motivation

5:21 submit to one another fear of Christ

5:22 wives to husbands as to the Lord

6:1 children parents in the Lord

6:5 servants obey masters as … Christ

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Page 10: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

The contextSubmitting (21)

5:22 literal translation

Wives to the own husbands as to the Lord

The verb is not there – it is assumed from the preceding verse.

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Page 11: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

The contextSubmitting (21)

A final thought on the context:

Only a true Christian can live out these passages

Furthermore, even a true Christian cannot accomplish this – obey this – unless he is filled with the Spirit of God.

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Page 12: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

God’s plan for marriage

1. Introduction

2. Context

3. The foundational principle

4. The wife’s roles and duties

5. The husband’s roles and duties

6. Conclusion12

God’s plan for marriage

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissionSubmit to one another in the fear of

Christ

• hupatasso – to arrange under

• a Greek military term meaning “to arrange troop divisions under the command of a leader”

• in the middle voice (somewhat like reflexive)

• a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissionNow in 2013, this is counter-cultural!!

• freedom and liberty• self-assertion, self-seeking• liberation theology• women’s liberation and feminism• democracy• selfishness and self-centeredness

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Foundational principle

Mutual submission(My sources)

Many of the following thoughts on the evidences of a truly submissive heart are borrowed for Dr. Martin Lloyd Jones, the great Welch preacher.

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissionWhat this does not mean!

• inferiority• lack of intelligence• teaching based on culture • being a person of less value

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissionWhat this does mean!

• less self-assertion• signing away our right to determine our own life and activity• being under authority• not independent of others or individualistic• thoughtful of others’ needs • not opinionated 17

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissionWhat this does mean!

• not dictatorial (“lording over others”)• not self seeking – not self centered• not looking down on others• not resisting criticism• not impatient of others’ points of view• not proud!!• knowing the truth about ourselves

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Page 19: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Foundational principle

Mutual submissionWhat this does mean!

• understanding that we are part of a whole• more concerned about the good of the whole body than our own “good”• the man in the army is fighting for his country, not for himself• willing to learn, to understand that often others know things and understand things better than we do

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissionTwo things we must not forget!

1) Only he or she who is filled by the Spirit can live like this – have these attitudes and mind sets!“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22, 23)

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissionTwo things we must not forget!

2) Our motivation to live this way is the “fear of Christ !”

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissiona) Christ taught us to live like this

“But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:26-27)

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Foundational principle

Mutual submission Christ taught us to live like this

“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.”

(John 13:14-16)

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissionb) To show our gratitude to Christ

“All mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I am glorified in them.” (John 17:9)

• We want to please our Lord

• We want the people of this world to glorify God when they see the way we live 24

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissionc) To show our love to Christ

Our overriding motivation for our Christian life must be our love for the Lord

That is more important than law

We do not want to disappoint the One who loved us and who gave his life for us

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Foundational principle

Mutual submissiond) Because our works will be judged

“… each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.” (1 Cor. 3:12-15)

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God’s plan for marriage

1. Introduction

2. Context

3. The foundational principle

4. The wife’s roles and duties

5. The husband’s roles and duties

6. Conclusion27

God’s plan for marriage

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Wife’s roles - dutiesWives submit to your own

husbandsThree underlying principles

1. Just because we become Christians does not mean that we immediately will be right in all we think and do.

2. When we become Christians new problems can appear in our lives.

3. Christianity has something to say about the whole of our lives.

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Page 29: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Wife’s roles - duties“Wives submit to your own

husbands”

To follow God’s plan for the family not only is pleasing to Him, it is the only way to godlier, happier, and more secure homes. His plan is neither the exaltation of man and suppression of woman, nor the exaltation of woman and the suppression of man, but for the perfection and fulfillment of both man and women as God has exalted them to be. Such perfection and fulfillment is made possible by the filling of the Holy Spirit. (John MacArthur)

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Page 30: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Wife’s roles - dutiesThe Old Testament basis

“Your desire shall be for your husband,and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)

“And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:7)

“Desire” – wanting to control – take over30

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Wife’s roles - dutiesThe Old Testament basis

When Satan tempted Eve, she did not consult her husband but took her own decision.

When Eve tempted Adam he did not take his role of leader.

One of the curses imposed by God after the fall is the battle of the sexes – the woman trying to control the man.

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Page 32: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Wife’s roles - dutiesSome practical ideas

Let your attitude to your husband be based on your attitude towards the Lord.

If we are having trouble with submission to others, it is almost certain that we are also having problems submitting to the Lord.

This is a heart issue and heart issues are much more important than hats or silence in the Church. 32

Page 33: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Wife’s roles - dutiesSome practical ideas

Encourage your husband to be a leader in your family and in your church.

Show respect to your husband before others, and especially in front of your children.

Your husband is going to be wrong sometimes. If the issue does not involve a moral question, swallow your pride and give in anyway. 33

Page 34: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Wife’s roles - dutiesThere are limits

Do not allow your husband to force you to sin

There are appropriate ways to refuse to be led into sin by someone in authority over us. Think about Daniel chapter 1.

You do not have to put up with constant abuse

Submission does not mean that you cannot think or have a life. The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 had a life!

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Page 35: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Wife’s roles - dutiesA final word on this subject

Only a strong person can be submissive.

Submissiveness is not timidity, it is not servility, it is not subservience, it is not docility, it is not degrading, it is not a sign of weakness.

Submission is a sign of strength, not of weakness, and a greater degree of submission requires a greater degree of strength of personal character.

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Page 36: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Wife’s roles - dutiesA final word on this subject

Submission is an act of the will — it is the result of a choice, a decision. The act of submission can only come from a choice that a person makes. Submission cannot be enforced upon a person. Either a person submits of their own free will or they do not submit at all. Submission is a gift that one person chooses to give to another person.

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Page 37: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Wife’s roles - dutiesA final word on this subject

By contrast oppression is the act of extracting something from a person against their will. Submission and oppression are, therefore, opposite qualities of a relationship and not even remotely similar.

Those people who look down on submission as if it were something demeaning, degrading or humiliating are merely showing that they have no understanding of what submission is and that they are quite ignorant of its power.

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Page 38: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

God’s plan for marriage

1. Introduction

2. Context

3. The foundational principle

4. The wife’s roles and duties

5. The husband’s roles and duties

6. Conclusion38

God’s plan for marriage

Page 39: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Husband’s roles - duties

Love your wives

There are three verses on the wives attitudes and duties’ …

There are eight verses on the husbands’ attitudes and duties!!!

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Page 40: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Husband’s roles - duties

Love your wives25-27 – what Christ has done for the

church and why he has done it

28-29a28-29a – preliminary remarks on the duty of the husband towards his wife

29b-30, 32 – the mystical union between Christ and the church

31,33 – final practical conclusions40

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Husband’s roles - duties

Love your wivesNo husband is entitled to be the leader in his home if he does not love his wife

Power must be tempered by lovePower must be tempered by love

The manifestation of the Holy Spirit when He fills us involves the power of love

A husband’s leadership and authority is guarded by his love

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Husband’s roles - duties

Some practical ideas

• Every day when you wake up, think Every day when you wake up, think of of some way to prove to your wife that some way to prove to your wife that you you still love her.still love her.

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Husband’s roles - duties

Some practical ideas• Love your wife as Christ loved the Love your wife as Christ loved the

church – church – holding nothing back. holding nothing back. Christ’s love for Christ’s love for the church does not the church does not depend on being depend on being lovedloved back!back!

• Love your wife in the same way you Love your wife in the same way you love love your own body and life. You your own body and life. You quickly look quickly look after your own needs after your own needs and desires. Put and desires. Put the same priority the same priority and energy into and energy into meeting your wife’s meeting your wife’s needs and desires.needs and desires. 43

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Husband’s roles - duties

Some practical ideas• Be considerate and full of respect. Be considerate and full of respect.

Quit irritating habits. Carry heavy Quit irritating habits. Carry heavy loads for her. Open the car door for loads for her. Open the car door for her.her.

• Do not be harsh with your wife. Do not be harsh with your wife. Irritated tones of voice and Irritated tones of voice and impatience do not communicate love. impatience do not communicate love. Remember - your wife is a precious Remember - your wife is a precious gift from God to you.gift from God to you.

• Rejoice in your wife – tell her often Rejoice in your wife – tell her often why you appreciate her.why you appreciate her.

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Page 45: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Husband’s roles - duties

Some practical ideas• Do not show interest in other women. Do not show interest in other women.

Let her know that she is the only Let her know that she is the only woman in your life. You can do that woman in your life. You can do that through controlling your glances through controlling your glances (Proverbs 5:20)(Proverbs 5:20)

• Praise your wife often – call her Praise your wife often – call her blessed!blessed!

• Honour your marriage by keeping it Honour your marriage by keeping it purepure

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Page 46: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

God’s plan for marriage

1. Introduction

2. Context

3. The foundational principle

4. The wife’s roles and duties

5. The husband’s roles and duties

6. Conclusion46

God’s plan for marriage

Page 47: God’s plan for marriage Ephesians 5:21-33 Message 2 in our 5-part series on  Ephesians 5 and 6

Conclusion

• Men - every day when you wake up, Men - every day when you wake up, think think of some way to prove to your wife of some way to prove to your wife that that you you still love herstill love her

• Women – let your husband know that Women – let your husband know that you you admire him – be his fan admire him – be his fan

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Conclusion

• Women, don’t marry someone – or even Women, don’t marry someone – or even get involved in serious dating or get involved in serious dating or

relationships with them – if you know relationships with them – if you know that that you will not be able to trust them you will not be able to trust them enough to enough to submit submit to them in this wayto them in this way

• Men – marry a woman because of what Men – marry a woman because of what you you see in her heart – not because she see in her heart – not because she is sexy is sexy

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