giving effective feedback workbook

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Feedback Webinar

To Learn How to use this feedback workbook Join me on my Free Webinar

Friday, Feb 10th, 1pm to 2pm

It’s a known fact that people who are open to feedback are more successful in their interpersonal

relationships than those who are closed. So if it’s important for you to manage, motivate and build

relationships easily, find out what feedback really is and how to give it so that it makes a difference.

Learn the difference between feedback and praise. What’s ‘feedforward’ and how is that best requested?

How do you give constructive/negative feedback to someone about their performance so that they can take

responsibility and act to make changes?

Results you can trust

Eleanor has worked as a coach for more than 10 years having qualified as an NLP Coach and NLP Trainer

in 2001. Since then she has run numerous team events and facilitated meetings helping teams to engage

more fully through being open and honest and building trust and support so that people feel able to give and

receive feedback.

Good for You, Good for the Whole Team This type of webinar can also be used with whole teams who want to build greater self-awareness, understanding of others and having a common language within the team.

Learn how to give feedback so that it’s not taken personally

Open up the blind spots that you may have (we all have them)

Engage more openly with others

The Feedback Webinar is FREE Click Here to Find out More About my

Feedback Webinar

http://keytalent-partners.com/feedback-webinar/

http://keytalent-partners.com/feedback-webinar/


Eleanor Yearwood

Executive Coach

Eleanor is a business consultant specialising in executive coaching and leadership development, Eleanor is committed to working with individuals who want to grow, learn and develop themselves, their people and their business. As a certified NLP Coach and Trainer she works with board members, senior leaders and high potential managers to enable them to achieve measurable long-lasting change. As a member of the International Coaching Federation, Eleanor coaches from a position of compassion, strength and support. Whether coaching on a one to one basis or running a team event, Eleanor‟s clients benefit both professionally and personally from my wide range of skills, knowledge and experience. Coaching and training over the past nine years: Board Member and Leadership Teams within large blue chip organisations to enable

them to achieve long lasting and measurable change. Sectors including Finance,

Risk, Marketing, Transaction banking and Public Sector. Eleanor has also developed and delivered client focused programmes in leadership,

team development and behavioural change. Qualifications: Certified Trainer and Coach of Neuro Linguistic Programming and licensed to administer a number of psychometric tools such as Myers Briggs Type Indicator®, FIRO-B® and DISC®

Testimonials “Eleanor is a no-nonsense, practical executive coach. She sets tough goals - moving from individual assessment through to the real actions required very smoothly and quickly. Crucially, she helps you to understand potential issues and follows through with suggestions on how to tackle them.” Davy Deegan, C&B Manager at Dell "Eleanor's coaching has had a profound effect on me; I've worked with her for a number of years and throughout that time she has been warm, knowledgeable,

patient and insightful. She has never hesitated to challenge assumptions or unhelpful behaviours when she saw them, and frequently made me re-examine my actions or beliefs when they were limiting my growth. While it's true that I have walked along the path, it was definitely Eleanor who lit the way." Tony Smith, European Technical Director, Perforce Software Ltd


Table of Contents

Eleanor Yearwood .......................................................................................... 3 Programme Outcomes ..................................................................................... 5 Feedback ..................................................................................................... 6

What is it? ................................................................................................ 6 Why Give Feedback? .................................................................................... 6 When to Give Feedback ................................................................................ 6

Giving Effective Feedback ................................................................................ 7

Feedback situations ..................................................................................... 7 Types of Feedback: ..................................................................................... 7

Examples of Good Feedback - Exercise ................................................................. 8 Poor Feedback - Exercise ................................................................................. 9 Common Mistakes When Giving Feedback ............................................................ 10 Why do we need Feedback?............................................................................. 11

The Johari Window .................................................................................... 11 Tips on giving effective feedback: .................................................................... 12 The Process of Giving Effective Feedback ........................................................... 13

Rapport – How to ensure your feedback is heard ................................................ 14 Tips .......................................................................................................... 15

Your Delivery Technique ............................................................................. 15 Behaviours that Demonstrate Open or Closed to Feedback ....................................... 16 Six reasons to Try Feedforward ........................................................................ 17 How to Get Feedforward ................................................................................ 18 Notes ........................................................................................................ 19


Programme Outcomes

After today you will be able to:

Give effective feedback to your boss, peers, and colleagues without blame or

judgement.

Understand why Giving Effective Feedback is your most important management tool and skill.

Be prepared to receive feedback that you can use for your own growth and

personal development.

... and what we agree to do if / when we don’t get our needs met

Want – Need - Expect


Feedback

What is it?

Feedback is the process of giving data to someone about the impact that they make through their actions, attitude and words. In other words – it‟s information from their perspective.

The worst feedback is personal and judgemental

The most effective feedback is subjective and descriptive

Used effectively, feedback is a powerful ongoing development tool. The greatest impact

can be gained from creating self-generated feedback from your questions, as this encourages people to self-correct over time. Once someone is self-correcting, they can really grow and improve.

Why Give Feedback?

It‟s your most powerful tool to accelerate learning

Without it, it‟s one of the top two reasons excellent performers leave their jobs

It is a highly respectful way to help others succeed

It helps to retain top performers

When to Give Feedback

Frequently

On time

As an opportunity for development

To solve a performance problem

Giving effective feedback requires the same attention to detail that you employ when solving a business or technical problem


Giving Effective Feedback

It should therefore be an exciting path to learning and growth. Unfortunately, many people dread any kind of feedback. We are accustomed to being „competent‟ adults and want to do it right the first time. We can be hard on ourselves and take feedback as a reflection of our personality faults.

Feedback situations

1. In the corridor (causal situation) passing a comment

2. In a team meeting where your views are sought

3. Bi-lateral - weekly / fortnightly meetings

4. Appraisal reviews - monthly /quarterly/ annual

5. Structured coaching sessions

6. Constructive /negative feedback discussion

7. Disciplinary meetings

Types of Feedback:

1. Feedback sandwich

2. Stop – Start – Continue

3. Constructive / negative feedback model

4. Feedforward

5. 4 Step Praise Model


Examples of Good Feedback - Exercise


Poor Feedback - Exercise

Most of us will have received less-than-helpful/discouraging feedback at one time or

another. Below are some poor feedback habits that you should consciously avoid.

Making suggestions without asking

Trying to improve too many aspects of performance

Telling

Sweeping generalisations

Comparing performance with others

Not giving regular feedback

Telling people what their performance is

Asking them why their performance is at its current level (people get defensive)

Delving too deep – you are not asking questions for their own sake but to help the other person improve their performance.


Common Mistakes When Giving Feedback

The feedback judges the individual, not the behaviour (eg You are very abrasive in meetings)

The feedback is too vague (eg You are a good leader)

The feedback is second hand – heard from someone else (eg John said you are confused about the project and your role.)

The feedback is exaggerated with generalities (eg You always show up late for meetings)

The feedback analyses motives (eg You were inconsiderate by being late for

our meeting)

The feedback goes on too long (eg blah, blah, blah...)

The feedback implies a threat (eg Do you want to succeed in this organisation

or not?)

The feedback is a question, not a statement (eg Do you think you could listen next time I give instructions)

Bringing your own experiences (eg I used to have the same problem)

Cushioning the feedback (eg You‟re not going to like this)

Delaying the feedback (eg Four years ago when we attended the trade show in Las Vegas...)

Giving advice with your feedback (eg Let me tell you what you need to do to

have a successful team meeting)


Why do we need Feedback?

Based on self-disclosure and feedback, the Johari Window is a communication tool that can be used to improve understanding among individuals in working groups or teams. Developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingram (the word “Johari” comes from Joseph Luft and Harry Ingram), there are two key ideas behind the tool:

1. Individuals can build trust with others by disclosing information about themselves

2. Individuals can learn about themselves with the help of feedback from others.

The Johari Window

Quadrant 1: Open Area What is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others. The Open Area is the “space” where good communications and co-operations occur, free from confusion, conflict and misunderstanding

Quadrant 2: Blind Area or “Blind Spot” What is unknown by the person about him/herself but which others know. This can be simple information, or can involve deeper issues that are difficult for individuals to face directly, and yet can be seen by others.

Quadrant 3: Hidden or Avoided Area What the person know about him/herself that others do not.

Quadrant 4: Unknown Area What is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others.


Tips on giving effective feedback:

Ask permission to give feedback.

Use your observations, and be specific and objective.

Avoid emotive language.

Rather than offering your own observations, you could ask the other person for theirs. In other words, encourage them to generate their own feedback.

Ask the other person:

What worked?

What didn‟t work?

What might they have done differently that they could use next time?

This self-generated feedback is likely to lead to self-learning and development.


The Process of Giving Effective Feedback

Situation – Behaviour – Impact (SBI)

Simple - Direct - Effective

1. Capture the Situation: Where or when did the behaviour occur?

Yesterday morning while we were inspecting the building... Last week, during our regular staff meeting... Today when you and I were talking in your office... Last weekend at the staff party...

2. Describe the Behaviour: What were the specific actions that were observed?

What can you see What can you hear What the person did or did not do

Words and non-verbal behaviours

3. Deliver the Impact: What were the consequences of the behaviour?

Make a statement about the person’s behaviour: “When you turned in the report two days early, I felt as though you understood the pressures I am under right now.” “When you ended the conversation after only 5 minutes I wondered if you were interested in my opinion.” OR acknowledge the emotional affect the behaviour had on you: “When you asked my opinion this morning I felt included and like a full member of the team.”

“When you told me my concerns were overblown, I felt belittled.”


How to Build the Feedback Relationship

Strike a balance between positive feedback (specific comments on a job well done) and feedback about problematic behaviour that needs to be addressed. Ideally feedback is 4:1, positive to negative.

Leverage strength. Give people credit for everything they do right.

Rapport – How to ensure your feedback is heard


Tips

Your Delivery Technique

Remember your only reason for giving feedback is to help another person succeed

Find a private setting and give your undivided attention

Soften the opening. (eg “Mary, may I share an observation with you?”)

Acknowledge the uneasiness or discomfort you might feel. “I am aware that I am

uncomfortable”

Be prepared to offer suggestions and support for changing behaviour in case of a performance problem.

Recognise that people process information differently.

Your choice of words might be the least important part of the feedback

After you‟ve given the feedback, reflect on how it went and if it did not go as planned, decide what you will do differently next time.

Recognise that you do not have to be “comfortable” to give feedback; it‟s your

job.


Behaviours that Demonstrate Open or Closed to Feedback

Open Closed

+1 Look interested; demonstrate an open posture

-1 Show polite interest, while inwardly preparing your rebuttal

+2 Summarize key points without interjecting your ideas

-2 Explain how the person misperceived the situation

+3 Express your appreciation for the message regardless of the tone of delivery

-3 Justify and excuse the situation by providing a “logical” reason

+4 Express genuine curiosity about ways to resolve the issue

-4 Interpret what the person says and an undeserved attack

+5 Openly wonder about your role in creating the issue

-5 Interrupt to give your perspective

+6 Request information and examples in an effort to understand (not to defend what you did)

-6 Make snippy replies and non-verbally show your irritation

+7 Take full responsibility for the results that were created

-7 Blame someone or something else

+8 Think out loud, making new associations about the issue

-8 Intimidate or attack the messenger

+9 Show genuine enthusiasm about making a change

-9 Complain about the decision and criticise people not present

+10 Implement (plan action, request support and follow-up)

-10 Comply with no real commitment to do what you say you‟ll do

Taken from ‘Radical Change Radical Results’ written by Kate Ludeman and Eddie Erlandson


Six reasons to Try Feedforward

By Marshall Goldsmith

1. We can change the future. We can’t change the past.

Feedforward helps people envision and focus on a positive future, not a failed

past. By giving people ideas on how they can be even more successful we can increase their chance of achieving this success in the future.

2. It can be more productive to help people be “right” than prove they were “wrong”

Even constructively delivered feedback is often seen as a negative as it necessarily involves a discussion of mistakes, shortfalls and problems. Feedforward on the other hand, is almost always seen as a positive because it focuses on solutions – not problems.

3. Feedforward is especially suited to successful people

Successful people like getting ideas that are aimed at helping them achieve their goals. We all tend to accept feedback that is consistent with the way we see ourselves.

4. Feedforward can come from anyone who knows about the task. It does not require personal experience with the individual

One very common positive reaction to feedforward is that participants are amazed by how much they can learn. For example, if you want to be a better listener almost any fellow leader can give you ideas on how you can improve. Feedforward just requires having good ideas for achieving the task.

5. People do not take feedforward as personally as feedback

If not delivered well, feedback can be taken personally. Successful people‟s sense of identity is highly connected with their work. Feedforward cannot involve a personal critique, since it is discussing something that has not yet happened.

6. Feedforward can cover almost all of the same “material” as feedback.

Imagine you have just made a terrible presentation in front of the executive committee. Your manager is in the room. Rather than make you “relive” this experience, your manager might help you prepare for future presentations by giving you suggestions for the future. These suggestions can be very specific and still delivered in a positive helpful way.


How to Get Feedforward

Feedback is important for growth and development. However it focuses on what has already occurred in the past not on the vast possibilities of the future. Feed-forward gives suggestions for the future in a helpful and supportive manner – focusing on making a positive difference going forward

Who to ask for it

A person whose opinion you respect

Someone with credibility and integrity

Someone with a different work style

Someone you trust

Someone with whom you must interact in order for you both to be successful

Someone who has had the opportunity to observe you in action

When to ask for it

After you‟ve identified a development goal (through reflection, a 360 survey and another assessment

How to ask for it

Start with one goal. Be specific about the goal.

State your goal and ask another person for his or her observations

What to do with it

Be curious!

Consider accuracy (eg On what is the information based?)

Consider importance (Is it helpful? Relevant? Do you want to know more?)

Decide what you will do with it. (anything? Not all information should be acted upon. Even if you don‟t like it, some feedback cannot be ignored)

Do not make excuses or try to explain. Simply listen

Thank the person for his or her contribution.


Notes

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feedback workbook

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types of feedback

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