giving and receiving feedback
TRANSCRIPT
Material from:“Developing Leadership Skills”
Alfred Darmanin, PhD
Ramy K. Azizhttp://egybio.net/people/rka
Material from:“Developing Leadership Skills”
Alfred Darmanin, PhD
Ramy K. Azizhttp://egybio.net/people/rka
Communication theory
Message(output)
Sender Receiver
FeedBack positive
negative(relative to messagein quantity and direction)
Framework or system
Reference
Reference
FeedBack stabilizes the output
Message= anything you do once or regularly, you say verbally or non-verbally
FEED…BACK!?
Feedback is a process by which we communicate to people something
about their behavior, their output, their work, their attitude, etc…
GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK ISA SKILL TO BE LEARNED
Why Feedback?
- to dump one’s negative feelings (e.g., anger) on another
- to hurt or degrade the other person
- because you need to give it while the receiver does not want it
- to compare auto- vs. hetero- perception
- to learn about oneself and know whether one’s work/ behavior is effective
- as a basis for correcting and improving one’s work/behavior
- to help, support, encourage, one another
NOT BUT
FREE (Public Self)
“Arena”: age, profession, hobbies, etc…
BLIND
certain mannerism, behavioral styles, etc…
HIDDEN (Private Self)
“Façade”: physical defects, personal problems, religious views, etc…
DARK
Unconscious: early childhood experiences, intrapsychic conflicts, etc…
Why Feedback?
Self
Others
Known Unknown
The Johari Window…
FREE (Public Self)
“Arena”: age, profession, hobbies, etc…
BLIND
certain mannerism, behavioral styles, etc…
HIDDEN (Private Self)
“Façade”: physical defects, personal problems, religious views, etc…
DARK
Unconscious: early childhood experiences, intrapsychic conflicts, etc…
Self
Others
Known Unknown
Why Feedback?
Feedback
Se
lfE
xp
res
sio
n
InSightAwareness
The Johari Window…
Feedback: A double-edged sword?
immunogenic
Therapeutic
ignites sender’s defenses
improves sender’s subsequent message(s)
Feedback: A double-edged sword?
Why do we resist it?
Feedback: A double-edged sword?
Why do we resist it?
- hard to admit shortcomings and defects in front of self/ in front of others.
- one thinks (s)he is one’s own expert/ unique problems/ “no one can understand me” attitude.
- sympathy and support preferred over challenge and criticism.
- feel threatened to face areas that need healing and growth.
Feedback: A double-edged sword?
What makes it ineffective?
- Giver:. not properly given…. “telling” style. receiver can’t listen…
- Receiver:. not well received…. defensiveness
Effective Feedback:
On Behavior not
On Person
“You are simply hopeless, incapable of arriving in time”
“You know how much we appreciate you here, yet your arriving always late for the meeting in unacceptable”
Effective Feedback:
Descriptive not
Evaluative
“That was very stupid and insensitive of you!”
“I felt hurt and angry when you put me off like that in front of others”
JUDGMENT
Effective Feedback:
Specificnot
General
“You are aggressive”“You are wonderful”
“You used biting words to tell Joe about her performance”“I appreciate your giving me so much of your time”
Generalization
Effective Feedback:
Behavior that can be changed
“Your low stature prevents you from becoming a better basketball player.”
SOOOOO?
“If you talk less in the meetings, the silent members would express
themselves more”
Effective Feedback:
Felt Reactions not
Explanations
“You keep interrupting because you want to dominate the group”
“I feel frustrated and ignored when you interrupt me”
Overanalyzing
Effective Feedback:
Solicitednot
Imposed
“Whether you like it or not, I’m going to tell you what I
think about your work!!”
SHOCK
Effective Feedback:
Appropriate moment
“I want to say it NOOOOOOW”
1) Timing: ideal after event or behavior BUT…2) Emotional state3) Planned sessions: e.g., data conference!
Effective Feedback:
Properly checked
- “Have I made myself clear”- “ You mean that I’m dumb?!”
1) Well understood by feed-back receiver/ rephrased?2) Checked by group: do they share the same
opinion/impression?
Effective Feedback:
Positiveand
Negative
Approve/Support/Affirm
Correct/ Improve/ Help other be aware
NegativismFake-positivism
Now, the other side
Message(output)
Sender
FeedBack positive
negative(relative to messagein quantity and direction)
Framework or system
Reference
Reference
FeedBack stabilizes the output
Message= anything you do once or regularly, you say verbally or non-verbally
Receiver
Receiving Feedback
1) Avoid rapid response.
2) Make sure you understood what the message means.
3) Questions only for clarification.
4) Remember the aim: Your improvement; no need for excuses.
5) Evaluate the message when you are emotionally neutral.
6) What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger ;)
inferioritydefensiveness
“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him”
David Brinkley
“If you have decided that you cannot change, you have by that very fact proclaimed yourself dead”
Quotes
“Once you start making a judgment, you stop understanding.Once you start preparing your response, you stop listening.Once you stop growing, you start dying”
Conclusionعندي من دي