fuel 2013: helping hurting men

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Dare to Care. A Man’s Guide to Helping Hurting Men

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Page 1: FUEL 2013: Helping Hurting Men

Dare to Care.A Man’s Guide to Helping Hurting Men

Page 2: FUEL 2013: Helping Hurting Men

Dare to Care.

The Crisis

Page 3: FUEL 2013: Helping Hurting Men

“How to Emasculate a Man”

1.Belittle what he does2.Make his salary an issue3.Ask him for help and then do it your way4.Yell and fight in Public5.Micromanage his every move6.Ask another guy to do it better7.Act like he has no feelings

www.Madamenoire.com

These things happen to men EVERY SINGLE DAY!

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Finances. Being un or underemployed and the feeling of inadequacy.

Sandwich Generation. Caring for elderly parents while putting kids through college.

Divorce.The rising tide of feminism has caused many women to simply toss in the towel on their marriage, leaving men bewildered and wondering what happened.

Wayward Children. And the guilt and failure associated with this.

Lust. And the desensitization towards porn.

Health ChallengesPhysical needs and inability to function as used to be able to or want to.

Father Wounds. From physical, emotional and spiritual absent father’s that clouds their understanding of God the Father.

--Brett Clemmer, VP M.I.M.

Seven Huge Sources of pain men are facing in 2013

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Where Men Are & How they Hurt.

Trait Associated Pain

They are tired _____________________Something isn’t right _____________________Plan’s aren’t working _____________________They feel “unglued” _____________________They feel nobody cares _____________________Committed to values,

not Christ _____________________Disappointment w/ God _____________________

Patrick Morley, Pastoring Men

Page 6: FUEL 2013: Helping Hurting Men

Discussion Question:

In small groups,prioritize the top 5 pains that men face.

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Dare to Care.

The Challenge

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“Carry one another’s burdens,

in this way you fulfill the law of Christ”

Galatians 6:2

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ge

1) We already carry too much.-We must manage ourselves better

-We must know people better

We must love more intentionally

2) We don’t know one another.

3) We don’t understand the law of Christ.

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Discussion Questions:

Which one of these challengesis hardest for you?

What’s one thing you need to do in relation to these three observations?

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Dare to Care.

Twelve Practical Componentsof Care

Jesus cares for a man named Lazarus.John 11:1-44

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Understand that God always has a purpose in pain.

“This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” – Vs 4

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Care, at the cost of being vulnerable.

“But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?” – vs 8

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Define reality. Don’t over use confusing euphemisms!

So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead” – Vs 11 & 15

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Care Together!

“Let us go, that we may die with him”. Vs 16

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To difficult questions, affirm Jesus’ statements.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” – Vs 25-26

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Enter in to Men’s pain. Let this motivate you.

“…he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. Vs 33-34

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Pra

Get mad at the root of sin, not the consequence of death.

“Jesus wept” – Vs 35

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Realize that carrying one another burdens can really stink at times.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.” – Vs 39

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Always seek and keep before you the redemptive glory of God.

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God? – Vs 40

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Pray often so that God and men hear.

“I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” – Vs 42

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Help people move forward.

Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.” – Vs 44

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Discussion Questions:

Which component areyou strongest and weakestat?

Think of a man in your ministry. Which principledo you need to apply in your care?

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Dare to Care.Questions and Answers

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Dare to Care.Helpful Resources

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Pastoring Men – Patrick Morley

Man Alive – Patrick Morley

The Blessing – Smalley & Trent

The Divine Mentor – Wayne Cordeiro

Over the Edge – Jared Feria

Waking the Dead – John Eldridge

When Men think Private Thoughts – MacDonald

Restoring your Broken World – MacDonald.

When Good men are tempted - Perkins

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Dare to Care.A Man’s Guide to Helping Hurting Men.