Foundations of Healthy Relationships

Health Education

Bell Ringer Jan. 29th

“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? 

And why are you waiting?”  ~Stephen Levine

Personal Health Inventory

Self-Inventory: Read each statement below and respond bywriting yes, no or sometimes for each item. Write a yes

onlyfor items that you practice regularly. Save these responses.

1. I treat others with respect.2. I am a team player.3. I am a trustworthy individual.4. I often use compromise to resolve differences.5. I am willing to work at my relationships.6. I communicate well with others.7. I am a good listener.8. I ask questions if I’m not sure what is being said.9. I use eye contact when communicating with others.10. I am aware of my own body language.

Think Quick !

List 10 characteristics that you think are needed for a healthy relationship

Rank the characteristics in order of importance, and explain why you ranked each as you did.

Healthy Relationships

Relationship A bond or connection you have with other

people

Relationships allow us to meet our needs to be: LOVED SAFE SECURE VALUED RECOGNIZED

Healthy Relationships

All relationships have (+) and (-) effects on your health

Healthy Relationships demonstrate (+) effects on all areas of your health.

Healthy Relationships are based on: What?

Shared values Shared interests Mutual respect

Healthy Relationships

Family Relationships Immediate Family Extended Family

How do healthy family relationships enhance all sides of your healthTriangle?

Teach values, manners and socialize you. Food, Clothing,

Shelter

Give you love, care and encouragement

Healthy Relationships

Friendship Relationships Significant relationship between 2 people that is based

on caring, trust and consideration

Friendships contribute to enhancing your health by: Sharing similar values (M/E and Social) Share hobbies and interests (Physical, Social, M/E) Sharing friends (Social and M/E) Positively influencing self-esteem and self-concept (M/E) Helping to resist negative influences (Physical, M/E,

Social)

Healthy Relationships

Friend or Acquaintance? Acquaintance- relationship less intimate than friendship

Not as much caring, trust or consideration Talk to less, do not share same information, do not turn to in

time of need.

As teens, we see all people as a friend, however, is that true?

Questions to ConsiderQuestions to Consider1. Do you have more friends or acquaintances? Why?2. What causes you to call someone a friend or

acquaintance?3. Create 2 lists: Benefits of spending time alone &

with friends

Healthy Relationships

Community Relationships Citizenship

The way you conduct yourself as a member of the community

Work together to promote the safety and well-being of the entire community Community Watch Donation Drives Volunteer Programs Obey laws Food Bank Golden Rule

Healthy Relationship Characteristics in Action

Work in groups of 2 or 3 Compare your lists that you created earlier Choose the top 2 characteristics that you

can all agree on Prepare a skit that demonstrates those

characteristics to promote a healthy relationship

Prepare a 2nd skit that demonstrates what happens to the healthy relationship when those characteristics are not present

Bell Ringer Jan. 30th

Explain how healthy family relationships improve a persons 1. physical 2.social 3.mental/emotional health

Bell Ringer February 2nd Define Citizenship. What are 3 examples of ways that

you can get involved with your community? Why would this positively impact your personal health?

Bell Ringer February 4th 1. Create your own “I” message sentence to a friend

who is asking you to skip your fathers 50th birthday party to go to the movies.

2. Describe the 4 techniques for Active Listening.

Building Healthy Relationships & Communication

The 4 C’s to Building Healthy Relationships

For a relationship to succeed and be healthy, the people involved need certain skills.

4 C’s Communication Cooperation Compromise Character

Communication

Communication The way you send and receive messages from othersWhat are some ways we communicate?

Effective communication is a 2 way street

There are 3 basic skills necessary for effective communication1. Speaking2. Listening3. Body Languagehttp://www.ted.com/talks/clint_smith_the_danger_of_silence#t-32892

Cooperation Working with others to accomplish a goal

Nonviolent Communication

NVC: A way of communicating that leads us to give from the heart. We humans need to be reminded that we were always meant to RELATE to one another. Speaking and listening in a way that

connects us to ourselves and each other that allows our natural compassion to flourish.

NVC replaces habitual patterns of defending, withdrawing, or attacking in the face of judgement and criticism.

Communication that Blocks Compassion:

1. Moralistic Judgements: implying wrongness or badness on the part of people who do not harmonize with our values.

Analyzing others are actually expressions of our own needs and values. Judging others promotes violence.

2. Making Comparisons: Comparisons are a form of judgement, and can start to make people feel miserable.

3. Denial of Responsibility: We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.

Question to consider: How Do You Feel About Reality TV Shows???

“ People don’t watch these shows to engage with them in a genuine way, They watch so they can look down on people. I call it “ Masterpiece

Stupidity.”

Communication Styles

3 Communication Styles Passive (“Mrs. Go Along”)

Inability or unwillingness to express thoughts/opinions Do not stand up for their beliefs

Aggressive (“Mr. Pushy”) Always try to get their way Use bullying and intimidation

Assertive (“Mr. and Mrs. Stand Up”) Express thoughts and feeling without hurting others However, they respect the thoughts of others

Compromise

Compromise Giving up something so that all can reach a

satisfying solution WIN-WIN SITUATION

Involves a “give and take” which can strengthen relationships

All must be satisfied with the solution Do not give up your values or beliefs to

compromise on a situation

Character in Relationships

There are 6 major character traits present in all HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

1. Trustworthiness2. Respect3. Responsibility4. Fairness5. Caring6. Citizenship

Can you identify these

Character Traits?

How to Resolve Conflicts

Conflict: Condition that exists any time 2 people disagree. Conflict Resolution: Process of ending a conflict through cooperation and problem solving. Steps for Conflict Resolution:

1. Get calm and think before you speak2. Remember, tone of voice is essential! Speak in a calm voice3. Ask questions to gather all the facts4. Utilize Active Listening Technique!5. Focus on the problem, not the person6. EmpathyAvoid: Name callingClashing EgosBlaming or threating comments- Use “I” MessagesDefensive body language

LETS RECONCILE OUR DIFFERENCES!!!!!

“I” vs. vs. “You” messages

I-messages simply state a problem, without blaming someone for it.

This makes it easier for the other side to help solve the problem, without having to admit that they were wrong.

Ex. "I felt let down," rather than "You broke your promise"

“I” vs. vs. “You” messages

“I” statements “YOU” statements

Non Threatening Threatening

Neutral Opinion Initiates defensive response“Attacking”

Can be difficult Automatic reaction

“I” Message vs. “You” Message

Aggressive (“You”) MessageWhat not to say

“You idiot! You took my client and cost me money. You owe me big time.”

“Why are you always late? It’s really annoying.”

Assertive (“I”) MessageWhat to say

“I’m upset that my client was taken away from me.”

“I worry about you when you don’t show up.”

How to construct and “I” sentence

I feel _________________________________ (say your feeling)

when you _____________________________ (describe the action)

because _______________________________ (say why the action connects toyour feeling)

Warm-Up Feb. 4th

1. Create your own “I” message sentence to a friend who is asking you to skip your fathers 50th birthday party to go to the movies.

2. List the 4 C’s for building healthy relationships.

3. What is conflict resolution? What is the most important thing to remember when you are dealing with a conflict?

Listening Skills

Hearing is not listening!!! Active Listening

Listening while involving yourself in the conversation

The average listener retains and understands about 30% of what he/ she hears

Paying careful attention without judging or interrupting

80% of our waking lives are spent hearing.

Techniques for Active Listening

1. Restating Restate or summarize what the other person said

2. Clarifying Ask questions to show your attention

3. Encouragement Provide statement/gestures to encourage more

conversation “I see”, “Un-Huh”, Head Nod

4. Empathy1. Try to understand their feelings2. Put yourself in their shoes

Body Language Skills

Body Language = Non-Verbal Communication The message you send to others based on

the way your body looks. Eye contact Posture Gestures Behaviors

As much as 65% of face - face communication is non - verbal

Technological Advances

Cell Phones E-mail Text Messaging Internet

Chat rooms

Questions to Debate

1. Has the advancement of technology improved or hurt the communication skills of today’s youth?

2. Is e-mail an effective method of handling relationship issues? How about texting?

3. Should teens be permitted to use online chat rooms or blogs?

Bell Ringer Feb. 5th

Describe 3 ways that technology has helped the communication skills of todays youth and 3 ways it has hurt the communication skills of todays youth.

Alright, So how do I start/maintain a conversation

with a person I like? Say “Hello” and introduce yourself Learn about the persons interests/ Find

Commonalities Talk about things you both can discuss

Surrounding, School, Likes/Dislikes, Hypothetical

Listen to the other persons responses Make “Eye Contact” but do not stare Use previously taught skills

Conversation Starters

Focus on other person, not self Stay positive Avoid controversy (religion, politics, ect..) Examples:

You look really nice, where did you get….(item) Have you seen any movie lately, what did you

think? What kind of music/TV/activities do you like? What do you normally do for fun? Have you ever (activity) ….? Do you like sports (other topic)? Have you ever been to (Place)?

Constructive Feedback

No one is perfect! Sometimes, people do things that you

do not appreciate. Ex. Make you late for a movie Ex. Name calling or blaming.

Constructive Feedback- non-hostile comments that points out problem and encourages improvement TIPS: “I” Messages, Tone, Body Language

Feedback Sandwich

When giving Constructive Feedback, use this method to help communication with others.

Step 1 (+)- Give compliment

Step 2- Inform person of the problem in a non-threatening way

Step 3 (+) - Offer steps for improvement

Character Essay

Directions: Think about a relationship situation where you had

the opportunity to demonstrate good character traits.

Pick your top 3 character traits (Examples: respect, trust, honesty, loyalty, reliability) Each paragraph will demonstrate a different character trait.

Write 3 paragraphs (5-6 sentences per paragraph) describing the situation and how you responded. What would have happened to your relationship if you had done something different (opposite)?