family magazine may 2016

May 2016 • Moms Just Know • Free

Serving: granger • MiShawaKa • elKhart • South Bend • goShen • nileS edwardSBurg • MiddleBury & Surrounding CoMMunitieS

aCCepting your FlawS

Beyond the BaBy regiStry

the Mother- hood

dance of

MeMorial

day with the kids

Celebrate

SChool to SuMMer Segue

Goodwill-NI.org

“Tamika had been doing everything right. She had gotten her education, she was

making positive changes, but every time she tried to get in front of an employer, she

was striking out. That’s where Goodwill came in.

She needed somebody to believe in her when she was discouraged, who could help her make the connections with the employer.”Debie Coble, President & CEOGoodwill Industries of Michiana

“Tamika was just looking for a chance to get back in there and hit the home run. It’s a win, win for everybody.

She hit it out of the park for us.”Joe Hart, PresidentSouth Bend Cubs

Goodwill Mission Campaign Tamika Rev8.indd 1 1/22/16 2:40 PM

tHe FAMILY MaGaZINe | MAY 2016 3

Contributors

www.MichianaMom.com

Please use the information compiled by Michiana Family Magazines for your research. Michiana Family Magazines recommends that parents and families interview each business or organization to make sure that it is safe and a good fit for your family. The information presented here and provided by Michiana Family Magazines is for informational purposes only and although every effort has been made to present accurate information, Michiana Family Magazines does not, in any way, accept responsibility for the accuracy of or consequences from the use of this information and/or for the businesses and organizations presented herein. We urge all parents and families to confirm any information given herein through additional research. The views and opinions expressed by the writers, event organizers and advertisers do not necessarily represent those of Michiana Family Publishing LLC, its officers, editors, staff or contributors.

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The FAMILY Magazines May 2016

Established in 2006. All rights reserved.

Permission from the publisher is required for any reproduction or reprint of this publication.

Read The FAMILY Magazines online each month! Go to www.MichianaMom.com and flip

the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way!

Volume 10: Number 4

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Ann reiff is one of Michiana’s Premiere Real LifePhotographers. Her heart and soul define her style, asshe is able to capture the moments we wish to alwaysremember. Ann shoots all varieties of sessions at herstudio in Southwest Michigan and also loves doingshoots on location.

Contact her at: www.studio513east.com [email protected] 269-228-0373

Cover photogrApher

on the Cover:Special thanks to Abbi Pollyea & her Beautiful Kids (Cole, elliot, Julien and Nola)!

4 tHe FAMILY MaGaZINe | MAY 2016

Right Now!

Things We

Love(at FaMIlY)

Check it Out!

MAY 2016

MOTHERS & DAUGHTERS IT'S COMPLICATED GOOD SLEEP

MORE THAN JUST A FLOWERSPORESTORY

WHY BEING 50ROCKSalso

N O44

MAY 2016GIFTS FOR

MOTHER’S

DAY TAKE THOSE

VACATION

DAYS

WomenIN THE MILITARY

ALTERNATIVES TO A

5 MEMORIAL DAY

COOKOUT

FrOM tHe puBl iSher

1. Warmer Weather

2. Small Town Festivals

3. Puppies Bathing In The Sunlight

4. Baby Kicks

5. End Of The School Year

6. Remembering Our Fallen Soldiers

7. BBQ

8. The Smell Of Fresh Cut Grass

9. Planting Flowers

10. Kids Laughter While Running Through The Sprinkler

11. Fruit Salads

12. Patio Furniture

13. Celebrating Mother’s Day With Your Mom and Your Kids!

May might just be my favorite month of the year. For one thing, the spring flowers

bloom continuously. The crocus and daffodils might be gone, but they were just the beginning. The hyacinths and tulips bloom in early May followed by iris, poppies, and lilies. Of course there are all of the flowering trees and shrubs – the Bradford pear trees, the red buds, the crabapple trees (both white and pink), dogwood trees, weeping cherries, tulip trees and magnolias. I don’t want to leave out the shrubs – lilacs, azaleas, and rhododendrons. This blaze of

color from all the flowers is backed up by the wonderful soft yellow green, pea green, and deep red colors of the leaves budding out on the trees. It is such an artist’s palate and all you need to do is look around to see it.

By May, we have usually seen the end of the snow and cold of winter even though we sometimes still have a mild frost or two. With the mild spring we have seen this year, I am hoping the cold weather is gone. The blue skies and sunshine bring such joy.

With winter gone, it’s time to bring out the spring and summer wardrobe. What fun it is to start the month with the Kentucky Derby and those giant flowery hats! And May is the month to honor our mothers on Mothers’ Day, often with flowers. Do you sense a theme here? It’s a slightly sad day for me because I still miss my mom a lot even though it has been over two years since I lost her. I wish all of our mothers a wonderful day!

And May ends with Memorial Day, a day when we honor all of our military veterans who died while in service to the US. It was originally called Decoration Day and began in the Civil War as a day to decorate the military graves with flowers and flags. On a much lighter note, Memorial Day is the unofficial start of the summer.

So what’s not to like about May? With the beauty of the flowers, the rebirth of nature, the consistent warmer weather, spring clothes, honoring our moms, and the promise of summer, it is definitely my favorite month.

And, what’s not to like about our May issue of FAMILY? You will find lots of information in honor of Mother’s Day beginning with the story of our beautiful cover mom, Abbi Pollyea, and her amazing family, The Dance of Motherhood. There are also articles about great gifts for new moms, and how to really enjoy Mother’s Day. For Memorial Day you will find an article about celebrating its importance with the kids as well as one about moving from school into summer. And for a bit of humor, you will laugh at the latest installment of the Diary of a Modern Mom!

I hope you enjoy the month of May as much as I do and I hope you enjoy reading the May issue of FAMILY.


4KeepsBy: Casey Kiel

Like '4Keeps' on Facebook or visit CaseyKiel.com

“Now that it is spring time, I visit the Michiana Mom’s website and check out their community calendar. I always find

fun things to do with my kids!” – Lydia r.

“I love how FAMILY incorporates trending topics into their magazine. It keeps it fresh

and conversational.” – Nicki t.

“The Summer Kids Camp & Care Fair is so useful and helpful for myself with three

kids.” – Maggie C.

FAMILY contributors

Meagan Church is married to her high-school sweetheartand is the mother of 3 kids.She is a writer and children’sbook author. She is also the

brainpower of the onlineresource Unexpectant,

exploring the realities of birth,babies and beyond.

Jill Lebbin is a wife, mother,craft fanatic and DIY blogger

at www.EveryDayisanOccasion.com. She and herhusband Marcel have been married for five years and love living in Granger with

their two spunky kids, Marcel Jr. and Lilly.

Noelle Elliott works in publicity. She is a writer and has been

published on several websites and print publications. She is the

owner and creator of the esteemed bowchicabowmom.com where she

humorously shares the triumphs and failures of raising her four young

sons. She is also the creator of the succesful local staged production,

The Mamalogues. She happily lives in South Bend.

reader teStiMonialS We’d LOVE to hear from you! CONTACT US [email protected]

Jackie Folkert is a mother of three and lives in South Bend. She is a freelance

writer and an English teacher.

of contents

tabl

e

Live Your Best4 From The Publisher

4 Things We Love Right Now

5 4Keeps Comic

5 Contributors & Testimonials

8 The FAMILY Month Calendar

16 Centerfold Calendar

Family Book reviews7 Happiest Toddler On The Block

By Harvey Karp Reviewed By: Emily Zander

7 I Was Here By Gayle Forman

Reviewed By: Sarah Casey

Family recipe9 How To Make Your Favorite Muffin By: Katie & Theresa Slott

Family Movie review25 10 Cloverfield Lane By: Cole Pollyea

FAMILY on the Cover26 The Dance Of Motherhood:

The Life Of Abbi Pollyea By: Jackie Folkert

Family Craft31 Spring/Baby Shower Door Décor By: Jill Lebbin

Family Kids10 School To Summer Segue By: Jackie Folkert

12 Celebrate The Importance Of Memorial Day With The Kids

By: Lara West

14 Mind The Gap? By: Emily Zander

18 Lead Poisoning Prevention By: Jamie Lober

the FaMIlY magazine12

20

Family pregnancy20 Beyond The Baby Registry: 17

Great Gifts To Give New Moms By: Alyssa Chirco

Mommy and Daddy22 Dear Mom, Here’s How To

Really Enjoy Mother’s Day By: Meagan Church

24 Product Review: Bed Sheets By: Lara West

28 Accepting Your Flaws By: Noelle Elliott

FAMILY Fiction30 The Diary Of A Modern Mom:

Rage Against The Bathroom Wall By: Meagan Church

14


HAppiEst tOddlEr On tHE BlOCk By harvey Karp Reviewed By: Emily Zander

My sweet, dimple-faced boy sent me to the book shelves in search of some toddler advice. He was two at

the time and as sweet as could be. Until, he wasn't.

After a quick browse, I saw it: "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. Bingo. Surely, this could point me in the right direction.

I began reading it immediately. Karp promises advice on "How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative One-to Four-Year-Old" right on the cover. He is a professor of pediatrics at UCLA.

He lays the foundation of his advice based on research and explanation of the human brain. If you are looking for an easy read, this book may not be for you. But, alas, I pressed on. And, boy, am I glad I did.

Karp, who also penned another bestseller, "The Happiest Baby on the Block," bases his book on the understanding that toddlers are essentially little cave people. Their world is prehistoric, simply because their brains have not fully developed.

Here's where the problem comes in, parents try to approach their toddler in mid-meltdown the only way they know how; like a rational person. But, toddlers are incapable of rational thinking and controlling emotions. Karp says the foundation of communicating successfully with a toddler is to learn their language.

Between his "Fast Food Rule" and learning to speak "Toddlerease," Karp argues many tantrums can be mitigated, or possibly avoided all together. He is careful to give you real-life scenarios of toddler behavior and provides a script for what you should say, and do, to effectively communicate.

At times, his advice seems utterly crazy. "This guy wants me to say and do what?" I asked myself while reading.

But, I tried out some of his methods on my two-year-old anyway. And it worked! Immediately! He went from "about to blow" to staring straight at my face and complying. I was dumbfounded. And my husband thought I had finally lost my mind.

The book is a lot to take in. If you're not careful, you can get bogged down, trying to

imagine how you can possibly remember everything to say at just the right moment. But, if you take Karp's work in bits and pieces, it's pretty close to miraculous.

Once you make it through the read, you'll realize there really is something for everyone; even if some problems aren't relevant to you and your child. And, if nothing else, the two appendices are an excellent resource. Appendix A simply states "The Ten Basics for Raising a Toddler" and B offers "Dr. Karp's Key Terms and All-Star Tricks."

With a little bit of persistence and willingness to try slightly insane tactics with your sweetie, Karp's book delivers on his promise. You may not end up with the happiest toddler on your block, but your toddler will be happier not going from one tantrum to the next. And so will you.

i WAs HErE By Gayle Forman

Reviewed By: Sarah Casey, Edwardsburg Middle School

When her best friend, Meg, drinks a bottle of industrial-strength cleaner alone in a motel room, Cody is

understandably shocked and devastated. She and Meg shared everything, so how was there no sign?

When Cody travels to go to Meg’s college town to pack up the belongings left behind, she discovers that

there are lot of things Meg never told her or anyone about her old roommates, the sort of people Cody

never would have met in her dead-end small town in Washington. Or about Ben McAllister, the boy who

broke Meg's heart and about a locked computer file that Cody can’t open. But, when she does suddenly

everything Cody thought she knew about her best friend’s death is in question.

FAMILY book review

FAMILY kids book review

Photo courtesy: Amazon.com

Photo courtesy: Amazon.com


Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu

1 2 4 9 11 13 15 16 17 18 19 20 25 26 29

3 national

teacher day

22Aurinko Ballet presents the sleeping Beauty, All Day, The Lerner-Elkhart

DIY COFFEE CUP CANDLES www.sweetcayenne.com

SUGAR SCRUBS www.reasonstoskipthehousework.com

DIY Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

6 disney’s Beauty & the Beast, 7:30 P.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

2016 Mother & son dance, 6:00 P.M., Elkhart County Fair Grounds-Goshen

10 Clean Up

Your room day

24 national Brother day

30 Memorial

day

8Happy Mother’s day!

1424th Annual stamp Out Hunger Food drive, 8:00 A.M., Food Bank Of Northern Indiana-South Bend

pet smart Adoption day With second Chance small dog rescue, 10:00 A.M., Pet Smart-Elkhart

relay For life Of Mishawaka/south Bend 2016, 10:00 A.M., Mishawaka High School

23lucky penny day

28Michiana Mustang show And Cruise-in, 10:00 A.M., Eby Ford Lincoln-Goshen

CUPCAKE FLOWER BOUQUET www.seevanessacraft.com

5 Cinco de Mayo

7 Walk Ms: Michiana 2016, 7:30 A.M.,

Indiana University South Bend Administration Building-South Bend

kentucky derby BBQ, 4:00 P.M., Hannah & Friends Neighborhood-South Bend

spA Women’s Ministry Homes Mad Hatter’s tea party, 2:00 P.M., Elijah’s Fire

International Church-Elkhart

12With Your Baby Class, 6:00 P.M., LaSalle Branch Public Library-South Bend

21 Armed

Forces day

27Barefoot in the park, 7:30 P.M., Everest Rohrer Auditorium, Bethel College-Mishawaka 31

Blue Man Group, 7:30 P.M. – 10:00

P.M., Morris Performing Arts

Center-South Bend

With the weather warming up and the sun shining brighter, it’s important to remind your kids of pool safety either at home or at the public pools. Below are a few tips to ensure your kids safety: Keep Your Eyes & Attention

On Your Children In The Pool If At The Beach Or Public Pool,

Swim Only When Lifeguards Are On Duty Keep Toddlers And Babies

At Arm’s Reach At All Times Do Not Let Others Or Your Kids “Dunk” Each Other Teach Basic Safety Tips To Your Children

(Not Running Near Water, Staying With An adult, Etc.) Learn CPR On A Child(Information found at www.parents.com.)

INgredIeNtS:- 1 Package Chocolate Cake Mix- ½ Cup Butter, Softened- 1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract- 2 Eggs- ½ Cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips- ½ Cup Butterscotch Chips- ½ Gallon Vanilla Ice Cream, Softened

dIreCtIoNS:1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and lightly grease baking sheets.2. Mix cake mix, butter, vanilla extract, eggs, chocolate chips and butterscotch

chips together and roll into two-inch balls. Place on baking sheets and bake for 10 minutes.

3. Mold the softened ice cream into a ball about the size of the cookies and place between two cookies and gently press together.

4. Place in the freezer to harden and serve! Practicing Pool Safety

easy ice Cream Sandwiches


HOw tO Make YOur

Recipe & Photo Provided By: Katie & Theresa Slott

inGrEdiEnts:• 1 Egg• 1 c. Heavy Cream• ¼ c. Vegetable Oil• 2 c. All-Purpose Flour• ¼ c. Sugar• 1 T. Baking Powder• 1 t. Salt

SuggeSted FlavoringS:• -1 T. Orange Zest and

1 c. Chopped Cranberries

• -1 T. Lemon Zest and 1 c. Fresh Blueberries (Or ¾ c. Frozen)

• -1 c. Grated Apple and 1 t. Cinnamon

tips:• Using cream rather than milk achieves a very

tender, moist muffin.

• This same recipe can also make 24 mini muffins.

favorite

FAMILY recipe

tiME: 30 Minutes MAkEs: 12 Muffins

KATIE and THERESA SLoTT are sisters-in-law who write the food blog, Cooking for the Fam, where they share lots of tips, family-favorite recipes and meal plans. For more recipes like this one, or to see step-by-step photos of this recipe, check out their website, www.cookingforthefam.com.

stEps:1. Preheat oven to 400F.

2. Line muffin pan with paper or silicone liners.

3. In medium mixing bowl, whisk the egg. Add in the cream and oil, whisking until uniform. Mix in flour, sugar, baking powder and salt until the dry ingredients are just incorporated.

4. For basic muffins, continue on to the step six.

5. For flavored muffins, fold in any of your favorite muffin add-ins. Do not over-mix; batter will be lumpy.

6. Divide the batter between the prepared muffin cups.

7. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean and the tops are golden brown.

8. Remove from the pan to a cooling rack to cool completely.

muffin


FAMILY kids

Every spring, summertime seduces parents with promises of family bonding and easy-breezy relaxation. Snap out of it; summer bliss fades fast! Once the kids get bored and the fighting starts, parents wonder what they saw in summertime in the first place.

Don’t let yourself get dumped by summer this year. Fighting, housework and fatigue may pop your fantasy bubble, but with a little prep and self-care, you will enjoy the season for all it is meant to be.

Spring Prep for Summer BreakYou can’t expect a pleasant summer if you don’t plan ahead for it. Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life. She is founder of AhaParenting.com and speaks to groups of parents across the country. She said that one way to plan for a happy summer break is to explain to kids what they can expect. “Young children need to know what to expect in their lives. It makes them more secure--and happier,” she said. Discussing what they can expect of their daily schedule (a rough order of events) is helpful.

Understandably, families are attracted to the whimsical summer schedule that allows for spontaneous entertainment and bonding. Fun time takes planning, however, so schedule it. Before the last day of school, Markham suggests brainstorming what would make the summer fantastic.

One of Markham’s strategies is to hold a summer planning session. Ask kids to rip out pictures from magazines that illustrate fun ideas for summer activities, such as a clipping of an animal they might spot at the local zoo. Cram the scraps into a glass jar and position it so the kids can draw an idea when the scheduled fun time occurs. Dinnertime is a prime time to generate summer plans, said Markham. “Use a notebook to list ideas and pick a few doable things,” she said.

SChooL to SuMMer

By: Jackie Folkert


Summertime prep includes drafting a schedule, but it also requires getting yourself ready mentally, i.e., setting goals for teaching responsibility and discipline. The break from school allows for fun but not at the expense of your kids’ school readiness--and your sanity.

“Maybe summer isn’t all about fun. Maybe it’s about being a team member,” said Jim Fay, Co-Founder of The Love and Logic Institute. He has over 30 years of experience in education as a teacher, principal, administrator and consultant. He has authored over 20 books including the bestseller Parenting With Love and Logic.

Fay emphasizes in his books and presentations that the child’s role should be team member, not honored guest. He said it is healthy for kids to do their fair share around the house, that they don’t need to be entertained 24/7. “Within boredom is the seeds of creativity . . . . It’s good practice for being an adult,” Fay said.

Summer mornings begin with getting their jobs done. Even preschoolers can help out, Fay said. Doing chores meets the basic human need to be an important member of the family, Fay said, which makes your kids happier and more confident. “By age six, kids can be responsible for one meal a week,” Fay said. “Kids who have the opportunity [to be in charge of a meal] get enamored with cooking, but it’s not the cooking but doing something for somebody else, that they are a needed part of the family.”

TV Sabotages SummertimeTelevision is the cheapest babysitter and most expensive crutch. Markham said that parents say yes to screen time when they are feeling overwhelmed, and the time will expand to fill any time you give it, time that could have been better spent. Kids stop being interested in other hobbies when they prize their screens, she said.

Instead of screens sucking up fun time, Markham said to kick the kids outside; it is good for you and good for them. Before summer break hits, ensure that whatever outdoor space you have available to the

kids is safe—you will be more likely to send them out to play unsupervised. Markham suggested deciding as a family what screen time will be like over the summer. You can create buy-in by asking for the kids’ suggestions for which days you will permit screen time.

When kids inevitably get bored, Fay suggested saying to them, “I hope you work that out.” He said parents don’t need to offer their kids things to do—the parents’ ideas will just get rejected because the kids are getting what they want: their parents’ attention.

Don’t Get in the RingParents aren’t meant to be their kids’ referees, Fay said. In fact, parents don’t have to be in the presence of fighting, either. Fay suggested telling the kids, “You guys need to find different places to be or work this out somewhere else.” It’s an opportunity for kids to learn conflict-resolving strategies. Teach the kids language to solve disagreements, Markham said.

Kids fight for many reasons, boredom being one of them. But, kids also fight when they feel they’re not getting one-on-one attention from their parents. To prevent it, schedule one-on-one time with each child, Markham said.

Strive to neutralize kid’s arguments, Fay said. Kids argue about limits, boundaries and their fair share of the work. Parents might try to explain why it’s fair, but that isn’t effective. Try repeating the line: “And, what did I say” and walk away, Fay suggested. Give yourself time to take a breath. The kids will grasp that you’re in control, not them. The easy, breezy summer parents daydream about becomes a reality when they plan for self-care and casual structure.

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FAMILY kids

Celebrate the Importance of

By: Lara West

With the KidsMeMorIAL DAY

We all know and understand that Memorial Day is more than just a three-day weekend. It’s true

that grilling and swimming in the company of friends and family that we love is not the true

purpose of the holiday, but it is perfectly acceptable. It’s important for it to be understood that while the

context of the day can be, and will be, somber for a lot of people, it is also meant to be a celebration. It’s

proof that their ultimate sacrifice wasn’t fruitless. But…the true meaning of remembrance for the loss of

a soldier’s life cannot be lost in the party.


1. Memorial day is observed across the entire United states to honor soldiers who died fighting to build our country and protect our freedoms. It’s ok to be happy with our family and friends, but it is a day to remember fallen soldiers.

2. Memorial day and Veteran’s day are different holidays. Memorial Day is dedicated to honor soldiers who lost their lives defending ours. Veteran’s Day is dedicated to honor all men and women who have served in our nation’s military.

3. in december of 2000, Congress passed “the national Moment of remembrance Act” which “designates 3:00 p.M. local time on Memorial day each year as the national Moment of remembrance, in honor of the men and women of the United states who died in the pursuit of freedom and peace.”

like any holiday, Memorial day is not without its fair share of family fun activities. Most of these take a little preparation, but they support the importance of the holiday:

1. Wear red, white and blue colored clothing, even if you are just enjoying time with the family at home.

2. Set a three o’clock alarm, and have the family together for “The National Moment of Remembrance.”

3. Visit a war memorial. Take the time to really understand that each of the names listed there played a vital part in building and protecting our country.

4. Attend a Memorial Day parade.

5. Flags and flowers are community favorites when honoring heroes on Memorial Day. Gather red, white and blue paint- along with a few planters, to paint and plant a flower in memory of a soldier.

6. Mix cornstarch, water and food coloring to paint fun stars on the driveway and sidewalks.

7. Volunteer to place flags at a local cemetery or down the main street of your town if they allow it.

8. Visit a local cemetery and spruce up the area around a veteran’s grave. (The office may be able to assist with pointing you to a veteran’s gravesite.)

9. Sing the National Anthem together.

10. Play “My Favorite thing about the United States is…” The first person says something that begins with the letter A. Everyone repeats the start of the sentence at the beginning of their turn, and has to repeat the previous responses in order following the alphabet.

Celebrate safely, and honor the holiday with your family respectively.

Here are three Memorial day points to consider discussing with your children about the holiday weekend:


FAMILY kids

MINd tHe gap?By: Emily Zander

Byron and Shelly Sanders didn't start out with a master plan for their family. Like many couples, the pair

knew they both wanted children. But, how many and how far apart hadn't been part of the discussion.

"It wasn't until I was pregnant with Isaac, and doing all of my reading, that we decided we wanted to have our kids two and a half years apart," the Elkhart mom said. "I read articles that suggested that was a good age difference."

Firstborn, baby boy Isaac arrived. Then, the Sanders backed up their plan with a pink bundle of joy just two years and seven months later. Isaac was now a big brother to Abby.

the Child Spacing ConversationThe child-spacing debate leaves a lot of parents pondering which path to take: two under two and in diapers or a larger gap between sibs? Do you want to space children closely and be done with the baby stage quickly, or preserve your sanity a bit and spread it out?

Nationwide, the average age gap between siblings is 30 months.

Mayo clinic recommends at least 18 to 24 months between pregnancies to minimize health concerns for both mom and baby. But, beyond those guidelines, even Mayo acknowledges there is no perfect time to have a child and every family looks vastly different.

Keeping Kids CloseSanders says her son and daughter were the best of friends when they were little, in large part because of their closeness in age. She says Isaac and Abby went through so many of life's fun moments together: gymnastics class, swim lessons, vacations and life at home with mommy.

"It was fun to do things with them together, like our Muffin Mondays and Waffle Wednesdays," Sanders remembers. "Vacations were easy because they had the same nap schedule and liked the same types of museums and activities."

What to Consider When Planning Your Family


Like the Sanders, many parents of children close in age report the benefits of having a good playmate. Some of the drawbacks of close child spacing are having two in diapers. Later, there's a line in the bathroom for potty training. Having two young children often equates to chaos in the home and little down time for parents.

But, the Sanders felt their child spacing plan was paying off. Mommy and daddy decided they would give their children another playmate.

And that's when heartbreak happened!

"We would have had the third one two-and-a-half years from the second, except for miscarriage," Sanders said. "Spacing didn’t seem like a big deal at all after that, we had a change in priorities."

On top of the priority list was letting go of their "plan" and taking life as it came.

A greater gapFour years and seven months after her older sister, little Lucy made her way into the Sanders family.

"Having Lucy spaced farther apart is beyond beautiful from the standpoint of watching the other two nurture her through the early years," Sanders said.

The Sanders never thought they would have kids with that big of an age gap. But, when they looked at Lucy, all they saw was a tiny treasure.

Sanders says her two oldest instantly loved and adored their baby sister. They were proud of her and eager to help mommy with the baby. Sanders says it was a great learning experience for Isaac and Abby to help others while getting nothing in return from the baby.

While baby number three was a blessing, the addition did not come without challenges. Sanders was accustomed to having coordinating nap schedules, extra-curricular activities and stages of development for her

first two children. Now, she was forced to juggle drop-off and pick-ups for her older two with nursing, diaper changes and naps for her baby.

"The toughest part was the guilt over hauling Lucy all over the place. I felt like she spent the first year in the minivan staring at the ceiling," Sanders said. "Lucy’s schedule didn’t get a priority because we HAD to be somewhere at specific times for the other two regularly."

Sanders says she's always worried about meeting the needs of all of her kids. She felt she might be neglecting one or two of them for the other.

She remembers one afternoon when she was nursing Lucy at the kitchen table while helping first-grader, Isaac with his homework. Abby was sick on the couch and crying.

"I was juggling all three kids and none of them was getting the 100% of what I wanted to give them," Sanders said. "I felt out of body and overwhelmed."

Coordinating a baby's schedule with older kids can be exhausting. Along with returning to a land of diapers and nap times,

it's one of the biggest drawbacks for parents with kids farther apart in age. Logistics can get dicey. But, parents say the benefits of more space between siblings is having a more independent older child that is also a mentor for youngsters. On the plus side, parents say they feel more confident in their parenting skills after years of practice.

Let the Sibs Fall in PlaceThe reality of child spacing is any plan can go off course for many reasons. Parents cannot choose when conception happens. Parents cannot choose what life circumstances may pop up and when. And more and more couples are choosing to have children later in life; meaning less flexibility in spacing out their family.

Some amount of planning is always helpful, but be ready to embrace any version of your family portrait hanging on the wall. The Sanders sure are glad theirs looks the way it does.

"It’s perfect the way it is. I know it’s cliché, but I can’t imagine it any other way," Sanders said. "I feel blessed I have them in the spacing I do.”

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FAMILY kids

Lead

Know The Facts To Protect Your Kids

By: Jamie Lober

L ead poisoning is an issue that often goes undiscussed. A

good place to begin is to become informed about the history.

“In the 1950s, 60s and 70s is when we used lead-based paint

and you would have chipped paint or sometimes it runs away so

you get dust, kids are exposed to lead whether it is paint chips they

are eating or they are inhaling some of these lead-based powders and

getting intoxicated,” said Dr. Manogna Katakam, dentist.

exposure is detrimental to all but in particular for kids. “When

exposed to lead, kids’ blood takes up more of the lead whether it is

inhaled or ingested and the side effects that lead poisoning causes are

much more pronounced in kids,” said Katakam. These include effects

on the brain or behaviors such as mental retardation and damage to

other central nervous system organs.

In the past doctors saw a lot of lead poisoning. “In the mid-70s,

they moved away from lead-based paint; however, we still have a lot

of sources of lead like if you have a house that was old and has not

been renovated,” said Katakam.

often toys can have lead in them. “You can be exposed through

pottery or older homes may have lead pipes or lead in the water,” said

Katakam. Parents may hold certain jobs in construction, painting or

work in a battery shop where they are exposed to lead. “Even though

lead-based paint has phased out we still see there are sources of lead

exposure for kids,” said Katakam.

You want to be proactive to prevent harm. The side effects of lead

poisoning can be bad and sometimes irreversible in kids so doctors

try to detect them early. “The American Academy of Pediatrics

recommends that we do a blood test in the first year typically

between nine and 12 months and typically at their first birthday and

sometimes at their second birthday we always ask pointed questions

to make sure of what kind of house they are living in, if there are

any paint chips and if there have been other kids diagnosed with

lead poisoning it tells us if there are risk factors,” said Katakam.

Afterwards a blood test is done to check lead level.

there have been recent changes about what is safe versus not.

“The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention comes out with the

PoisoningpreventIon

“You want to be proactive to prevent harm.”


blood lead levels that are safe and unsafe and until last year the

number we used to worry about was 10 micrograms per decimeter

and 10 or more would be a concern; however this past year that

number was lowered to catch the number of kids between one and

five who are in the top two and a half percent,” said Katakam.

Recommendations were lowered to say that if your lead levels are

more than five, it is an area for concern.

Lead levels are reported to the local health department. “We talk

about the health department coming in your house and testing the

paint for lead; if there is any dust they will take it and check it for

lead and make sure if your house was built before 1978 or after or if

the parents are in occupations that predispose them to bring in lead

it is checked,” said Katakam. If there is renovation taking place, make

sure it is done by a certified renovator.

take care of your home. “If you see paint chips or dust on the

window sills or floors you need to clean them on a regular basis,”

said Katakam. If you work in an occupation that predisposes you

to lead, remove your clothes and take a shower before you care for

your children so they do not come in contact with it. “We always

recommend that parents wipe their feet on mats before coming

inside,” said Katakam. Toy jewelry is a major culprit. “Make sure toys

are not recalled and check the Consumer Product Safety Commission

website for that,” said Katakam. There will always be sources of lead

but as long as you follow basic rules like eliminating dust and paint

chip exposure and checking for toy recalls, you can minimize lead

poisoning to a great extent.

treatment is possible. “We are trying to catch it early by universally

screening everybody at one and two-years-old and our hope is that by

catching them before the exposure has been going on for a while that

if we find higher levels we can use chelation therapy for treatment

which works very well,” said Katakam.

Long-term exposure cannot always be treated but progress has been

made. “We have gotten more stringent so we are catching more

and more kids and eliminating the lead from their blood and hence

preventing long-term problems,” said Katakam. There is still work

to be done. “We have gotten better through education, media and

pediatricians and parents have gotten very well-educated and are

looking out for these things,” said Katakam.

SBMA and Southold Dance Art & Dance Camp July 11 – 15

June 13 – 17 June 20 – 24July 11 – 15 July 18 – 22

Preschool – Teen Morning & Afternoon Classes


FAMILY pregnancy

BeYonD the BABY regIStrY:

By: Alyssa Chirco

Baby registries are a wonderful tool for helping new parents

stock their nursery with the infant essentials every growing family

needs. But, while registries include important items like car seats

and travel systems, they tend to overlook gifts that can help a new

mom relax, celebrate and adjust to her new role in life.

Next time you are shopping for a new or expectant mom, consider going off the registry and purchasing one of these thoughtful gifts instead:

1. A Maternity Photo Session. Maternity photos are a wonderful way for an expectant mom to commemorate her pregnancy. If you think she may be interested in documenting the actual birth of her baby, you could even hire a birth photographer to take photos during delivery.

2. A Newborn Photo Session. New moms love to have lots of pictures taken, but the cost of newborn photos can add up quickly. A session with a professional photographer is a gift she will remember forever, especially if you spring for a couple of the prints.

3. A Maternity Massage. Pamper her with the gift of a massage to relax her tired muscles and soothe her aches and pains. Be sure to find a skilled practitioner who is knowledgeable about the dos and don’ts of massage during pregnancy.

4. A Pre-delivery Pedicure. Few moms can reach their toes during those final months of pregnancy, so why not give her a gift certificate to get her nails prepped and polished before delivery? Better yet, schedule the appointment and go with her for a pre-baby girls’ day out.

5. Prenatal (or Postnatal) Yoga Classes. Studies suggest that yoga can improve sleep, decrease anxiety and help mothers prepare for (and recover from) labor and delivery. Since many yoga studios and community centers offer drop-in classes, it’s easy to buy a punch card she can use whenever she likes.

17 great gifts to give New Moms


6. A Magazine Subscription. With so many parenting magazines available in both print and digital format, it won’t be hard to find one she will appreciate. Give the gift of a year-long subscription as a resource to help her through that first year of motherhood.

7. A Bubble Bath Basket. Fill a basket with an assortment of luxurious bath salts and bubble bath so she can soak away her stress. Include some cocoa butter massage cream, which can minimize stretch marks, for her to apply after the bath.

8. A Breastfeeding Basket. If you know she’s planning to breastfeed, fill a basket with items to make her experience easier. Nursing pads, purified lanolin nipple ointment, a comfy nursing tank top and a copy of the book Breastfeeding Made Simple by Nancy Mohrbacher are all good places to start.

9. A Coffee Shop Gift Card. New moms are notoriously sleep-deprived, and caffeine is a perfect antidote to all those sleepless nights. If she isn’t a coffee drinker, opt for a selection of her favorite herbal teas instead.

10. A Cleaning Service. Even if you can only afford a month or two, any new mom will appreciate having somebody else take responsibility for the dusting and vacuuming while she recuperates and bonds with baby.

11. A Service Coupon Book. What do new moms need most in those first few weeks after giving birth? Help. Create a coupon book filled with coupons she can redeem for services like grocery shopping, running errands and holding the baby while she showers.

12. A Postpartum Doula. The word doula literally means “woman’s servant.” While some doulas serve women during labor, a postpartum doula focuses on a mother’s physical and emotional needs after delivery. As any experienced mom knows, postpartum support is one of the best gifts you can receive.

13. A Meal Train Website. It’s easy – and free – to set up an interactive, online meal calendar at MealTrain.com, but it’s also a perfect gift for a hungry new mom. Invite her friends and family to participate so that after baby’s birth she receives delicious meals delivered right to her doorstep.

14. A High-Quality Baby Carrier. Baby carriers have gained popularity in recent years, but not all brands are created equal. Give her the gift of a high-quality carrier like a Mei Tai or Stretchy Wrap so she can carry baby hands-free, and feel comfortable and safe while doing so.

15. A Mom’s Group Membership. Help her get out of the house and meet new friends by investing in a membership with a local mom’s group in her name. Or buy a gift certificate for a Mommy and Me activity – think infant massage, music circles or a stroller fitness class – in your area.

16. Maternity/Nursing Lingerie. Most moms feel a bit frumpy during pregnancy and the postpartum period. Help her feel beautiful by wrapping up some fashionable (yet comfortable) loungewear or lingerie designed specifically with a new mom in mind.

17. A Bottle of Bubbly. There’s no drinking during pregnancy, but a bottle of champagne or sparkling cider makes a festive gift once baby arrives. Mom can toast to the birth of her baby and the amazing journey she has just begun.

dOn’t FOrGEt ABOUt dAd Moms may get most of the glory – and the gifts – when a new little bundle of joy arrives, but don’t forget about Dad! Today’s fathers are highly involved, hands-on parents, so don’t they deserve a few baby gifts too? Here a few ideas: A pUsH pACk. Help a nervous dad-to-be support his partner during labor by creating what some refer to as a “push pack.” Include items like high protein snacks, aromatherapy candles and a book of relaxation techniques to help both parents through the delivery. A dAddY diApEr BAG. Mom shouldn’t be the only one responsible for changing diapers. Look for a more masculine backpack or messenger bag style, or you can even order a diaper bag emblazoned with the logo of his favorite Major League Baseball team online. While you are at it, visit CafePress.com and order a “Real Men Change Diapers” T-shirt for him too. A BOOk ABOUt BEinG A dAd. If he’s the type that will enjoy a humorous, light-hearted take on fatherhood, try The New Dad’s Survival Guide by Scott Mactavish. For a more serious, look at what dads should expect, give him a copy of The Expectant Father by Armin A. Brott.

FAMILY mommy & daddy

Dear Mom,

By: Meagan Church

here’s how to really eNJoy Mother’s Day

What mom can’t use a bit of encouragement?

dear Mom,

I’m a beach person. I absolutely love the beach. So much

so, that I cannot understand why anyone would not

like the beach. After nearly two decades together, my

husband told me recently that he doesn’t like the beach. I.

Was. Astonished. How could I not know this? How is this

even possible?

“The sand,” he complained. “It gets everywhere.”

“Yeah, but the water. The sound. The smell. The sun,” I

replied.

On this topic we must just agree to disagree. And, we

must also agree to the fact that every year, we will make

trips to the beach. After all, a happy wife means a happy

life, right?

So, before Mother’s Day one year, I told my husband how

I wanted to spend the day. I didn’t want to spend it in

a busy restaurant or hanging out with other people. I

wanted our family of five to head to the Dunes. I know it

wasn’t exactly beach season in Michiana, and especially

not swim season (when is Lake Michigan ever in swim

season?), but if Mother’s Day was “my day,” then I

wanted to spend it sitting in the sand, watching the

water lap the shore. And that’s just what we did!

When we returned home (yes, with our shoes, shorts

and shirts all full of sand), I met up with a neighbor. The

conversation started with simple enough small talk, but

soon enough, it shifted.

“All I wanted to do today was get flowers,” she said.

Unlike mine, her day had been filled with hustle and

bustle, getting kids to practices, trying to do some

laundry and getting things in order around the house

before the work week started up again. All she wanted

to do was take a minute from her busy day to get some

flowers. But, it didn’t happen.

She stood there exhausted, hurt and disappointed as

tears dripped down her cheeks. It was supposed to be

a day when she felt loved and appreciated. Instead she

felt depleted and ignored. I stood there trying to hide my

sandy feet, while offering her some comfort. But, what I

didn’t say to her was maybe what she needed to hear.

And, so, I offer you my one-step guide to really enjoying

Mother’s Day because I know that my neighbor is not

the only one who has felt this way on the very day that

is supposed to honor us. I’ve talked to too many moms

and friends who have felt ignored and unappreciated,

expecting more from the day than what they actually

received. Are you ready for the one-step advice that I

should’ve shared with my neighbor?

do what YoU want!

It’s that simple. I know, you may think it sounds selfish,

self-absorbed and maybe not even possible. But, if it’s

really your day, then you make the call. If your husband

asks you what you want to do, tell him. Better yet,

don’t wait for him to ask. Simply say, “Hey, Mother’s

Day is next week. I don’t want to sit in an overcrowded

restaurant. We are ordering takeout Thai.” Tell the kids

the day won’t be about them. Instead, they will trek

along with you as you pick out flowers that you will

then plant together. Or, tell everyone you are taking a

day to yourself and leave.

Mother’s Day is not a day for you to take a back seat.

It’s a day for others to show their appreciation for you

and for YOU to appreciate yourself also. Motherhood is

exhausting. Give yourself a break. Do something you

want to do for a change. Go sit on the beach even if your

husband doesn’t like it. After all, Father’s Day is next

month. He’ll get to choose his own adventure then, but

right now it’s your turn!

“It’S A DAY For otherS to Show theIr AppreCIAtIon

For You AnD For YoU to AppreCIAte YourSeLF ALSo.”

here’s how to really eNJoy Mother’s Day


By: Lara West

I t’s possible that I am a bed linen snob. I wash my sheets weekly,

and every year when spring cleaning weekend rolls around, I go

out and buy a new set of linens for the year. It shouldn’t be a big

surprise at this point, but every year my brain explodes over the

cost of simple sheets; upwards of $100 for 300ct sheets!

The price point on these just seems ridiculous, so last year I bypassed

the usual department store and when straight to a big box store with

lower prices to see what they offered. I found similar cotton sheets

with the same thread count for $55.

did I return for cheap ones this year, or did I go racing back for the expensive ones? Let’s discuss this further!

When opening the more expensive sheets, they have always felt soft

and comfortable. The color is always vibrant, and I can always find

them in several color options with “deep pockets.”

The less expensive sheets I bought last year felt slightly thinner, but

felt to be about the same softness. However, I was able to find them in

white only with the “deep pockets.” Buying sheets with deep pockets

is a necessity for my bed, because I have a pillow-top mattress. If you

don’t have a pillow-top mattress you’ll have plenty of color options to

choose from. Both sets of sheets fit the bed as expected.

Both sets of sheets were washed the same number of times in the

same homemade laundry detergent. After three months, the less

expensive sheets were holding up as expected, but started to show

signs of wear after six months. The expensive sheets usually show

the similar signs of wear closer to the 10 month mark.

recommendation: I know I am an odd breed when it comes to bed sheets. I have a friend who said she hasn’t bought new sheets in at least five years. I did ask her if I could see them, and they are very well worn, but they still do the job. By the end of the year, both sheets will show some signs of wear. The cheaper sheets had a more obvious appearance of wear than the expensive sheets.

Which did i buy this year?

I went back to the department store for the more expensive ones; primarily because I like the color choices better, and I think they continued to feel better against my skin than the cheaper sheets. You can save some money up front and buy the cheaper sheets if you don’t mind the earlier signs of wear and slightly rougher feel, which is probably unnoticeable. Both sheets will last longer than a year, particularly if you alternate between two or more sets.

Bed SheetsproDuCt revIew:


FAMILY movie review

Review By: Cole Pollyea

2016 is looking strong for movies–and I’m not just talking about Scorsese’s Silence, scheduled for a November release. Rather, I’m talking about the

future based on what’s already been released.

In February, we had what I called “the movie’s movie” in Hail Caesar, and in early March we had Zootopia, a brilliant children's film that will no doubt receive attention from the Academy next year. In the latter half of the month of March, we get one of the most unexpectedly enthralling, suspenseful movie-going experiences in recent years in 10 Cloverfield Lane. This unique, part-abduction, part-possible-apocalyptic tale will no doubt remind those of you who have seen it of 2014’s Edge of Tomorrow, a movie that also caught me off guard (in the best possible sense).

10 Cloverfield Lane follows the misfortune of Michelle, a protagonist, who is driving along on a mission to abandon her rocky relationship when she is hit by a maniac driver and wakes up in the confines of a small basement bedroom, chained to the bed. While convinced that she is being held captive, her “captor,” played marvelously by John Goodman, tries to tell her that he has saved her life, that there is a nuclear war and that the air is contaminated. In short, this compels her to stay, along with the fact that her leg is injured from the car accident. To divulge any more would be to corrupt the seamless string of events that play out perfectly, ebbing and flowing to the haunting denouement.

While Goodman isn’t known for his leading roles, his acting was outstanding in this movie. His portrayal of the strange survivalist is enough to keep your eyes glued to the screen. Several scenes of physical acting (hands shaking vigorously, cornering Michelle) are just as captivating as his chilling delivery of the acute dialogue. In addition to the compelling performance of Mary Elizabeth Winstead, which doesn’t disappoint in any single frame, we also have an endearing portrayal of a clueless local by John Gallagher Jr. who is also sharing the shelter with the two of them.

Newbie Dan Trachtenberg (and by newbie I mean that he has never directed, produced or written a feature film before) does a marvelous job of getting the most out of the eerie tone that was so well captured in the screenplay and production design of the movie. To say that he has a bright future is an understatement. With a debut like 10 Cloverfield Lane, it’s likely that his contribution to the mystery genre of filmmaking is going to be tremendous.

Now, 10 Cloverfield Lane isn’t going to win any Academy Awards (it’s not on a great enough scale). But, it is nonetheless quality filmmaking. In my best effort to describe it, I’d say that it has equal parts Agatha Christie, J.J. Abrams and Barton Fink. It cannot be emphasized enough, though, that 10 Cloverfield Lane is a wholly original film. And, with a rating of PG13, it’s an ultimate fit for those above the age of, well, 13.

Photo Courtesy: youtube.com

Photo Courtesy: comingsoon.net

10 CloverField lane


FAMILY on the cover

the Dance of Motherhood:

By: Jackie Folkert

Super Mom. Soccer Mom. dance Mom. real housewife of granger.

And if you happen to put her in one of those boxes? Bonus! Abbi said it would be a compliment if you put her into those categories. “I’m in awe of the moms who can make it to every match or game. There’s a fellow mom who went to every match despite her own son’s injury,” she said. “I’m proud of those moms.” And the PTA moms? She’s grateful for the mothers who devote their time to serving their community. Abbi’s mothering style could be described in a list of paradoxes: driven yet laid-back; intentional and spontaneous; strong but also vulnerable. All that her audience knows is that Abbi is doing motherhood differently. What other moms may recognize but not verbalize about Abbi is that they respect her way of nurturing her children while attending to her creativity, work, relationships and health.

Abbi inspires them to pay closer attention to their own dreams.

good grades are cool, but dreams are sweeter!Her high school senior son’s college acceptance letter hasn’t arrived in the mailbox yet, but Abbi bought him a sweatshirt with Harvard stitched proudly across the chest anyway. She believes you should envision your goal with confidence. Cole said that his mom is a firm believer in self-determination and that you should push yourself to the next level and go after your dreams. She’s shown her support by helping to finance his commitment to three varsity sports. “She’s helped me realize my potential,” he said. Cole said that her modeling of perseverance has encouraged him to go after what he wants.

A high school athlete and dancer, Abbi gave birth to Cole while she was working on her history degree, her goal was being in law school. Having her first child at 21 shifted her timetable, but she finished her degree

How to label Abbi Pollyea? Whatever you call her, this working mom of four will continue to dance through motherhood passionately, embracing her calling to raise her kids while pursuing her dream.

The Life Of Abbi POLLyeA

what i love to do with My MoM

nola, Age 3“We play with my animals. We play zoo.”

Julien, Age 5“I like to play Legos with my mom and chess.”

Elliot, Age 11“I taught mom some of my Tae Kwan Do kicks, we play video games and go grocery shopping.”

Cole, Age 17“Whatever it is, I have no reservations whatsoever about talking to her about it. . . . She always knows the right thing to say.”

Photography: Ann reiff Studio 513 east


while working part-time. Though she was working hard and meeting her goals, she felt something missing in her life. Her late adolescent years were turbulent ones--she hadn’t been valuing her body or liking herself enough to take care of it. Watching a dance movie one day brought her to tears. “I wanted to dance so bad,” she said. “Dance brought me back to me.” Her roots in dance and gymnastics run deep, so coming home to dance felt natural.

Abbi joined a hip-hop dance class, and it wasn’t long before she was asked to teach it. Hip-hop led to Pilates, requiring Abbi to up her game professionally by traveling to Chicago on the weekends for certification courses. She also completed a 200-hour yoga certification course.

It didn’t take Abbi long to gain a following of loyal students. After she had her second son, she exercised her entrepreneurial skills when she pitched a unique class to a gym in Michiana. She got the top time slots, managed a staff and filled the classes with students immediately. “It was a good time for me,” she said.

When pregnant with her third, she introduced the barre method, a popular style of exercise that took off in Michiana thereafter. Her students went on to start studios of their own.

So, there Abbi was with three kids, teaching classes, being a boss (and wife), while sprinting ever faster after her dream to dance.

Having baby number four shook things up a bit!

Make room for Your PassionAbbi admits that at that time she felt overwhelmed. “It was a tough choice to slow down,” she said. She quit teaching at the gym so she could spend more quality time with her family by teaching classes at her home studio. “There are infinite ways to [go after your dream] . . . Think outside the box,” she said.

Abbi’s message to her children as well as her fellow moms is to put all of your heart into your passions—push beyond whatever limits you face. “I want to be a respected and known member of the both the dance and fitness communities,” she said. Her advice is to do the thing you want to be. If she dances, she is a dancer; if she writes, she is a writer.

To pinpoint your passion, look at how you’re spending your time, she said. When do you feel fulfilled? She suggests browsing at the bookstore as a strategy for determining your passion. What causes you to lose track of time?

Passionate about dance— and her people!The working-from-home phase was experimental. It was a time of collecting

herself, figuring out the next steps for pursuing her passion. When Abbi considers her time teaching classes at home, she is honest in her assessment of it. She’s not sure if it was successful. She missed dance and the time-transcendent hum she experienced as she choreographed a class. She joined Tu Sei Bella, a dance fitness studio in Granger where she is now a barre and cardio dance instructor. She choreographs the dance classes, which is “my art, it’s my work,” she said. She also joined Beyond Zen in Granger as a yoga, Pilates and barre instructor.

Tu Sei Bella Co-owner, Caitlin Kinser, values Abbi’s drive to get to know each of her students. “She is so very passionate,” Kinser said. Abbi has a loyal following at the studio. “That sort of passion is magnetic,” Kinser said.

As much as Abbi is in love with dance, she knows when to sideline herself for the sake of her family. She’s passionate about her dream, but she also chooses to be passionate about what her kids are passionate about. When her 11-year-old Eliot took up Tai Kwon Do, she added some of the kicks he taught her to her dance choreography.

Intentionality and Perspective!Keeping perspective cultivates peace at the Pollyea house. Abbi and her husband are raising four kids ages 17, 11, five and three. The present problem that seems like such a big deal soon fades and another takes its place. “Time softens things,” she said. She and her husband teach specific life lessons to them. “Eat the piece of humble pie---learn from someone else every day, and don’t assume you know everything,” she said.

But, perhaps most of all, she wants her kids to know how to dream, how to pursue their passions, and how not to settle. “I’m really giving [parenting] everything I’ve got,” she said.

Check out Abbi Pollyea’s workout article in SASSY Magazine next month! Also,

want to know what family movie you should watch next? Check out Cole Pollyea’s

Movie Review in every issue of FAMILY Magazine!

“Put all of your heart into your passions—push beyond whatever limits you face.”



By: Noelle Elliott

To get my children out of the house each morning is

a challenge. I don't know why it should come as a

shock to anyone that we are leaving to go to school,

but every morning it is. I calmly ask my four sons to find

their shoes, backpacks and coats so we can get to school on

time. But, by the fourth or fifth time I'm asking, I have lost my

temper and I'm screaming. Something I never wanted to do as

a mother.

Everyone has flaws; it is a fact. As a woman and mother, I

have a natural tendency to focus on mine. I spend several

minutes every evening before I fall asleep going over my flaws.

The only thing to come out of focusing on them is that you

end up feeling worse. I always vow to change my ways, but it

never happens. Another flaw I'm choosing to highlight.

Jennifer Grey played Baby in the 1987 romantic drama film

Dirty Dancing. I was only nine years old when it came out,

but I remember my admiration for her. I wanted to have big

curly hair and wear the same clothes as she. To me, she was

perfect. Then something happened. Someone told her that her

large nose was a flaw. Part of the reason I liked her as a little

girl so much was because I too had a big nose. Then in 2010,

she had rhinoplasty and changed her look so dramatically that

she was almost unrecognizable.

The point I would like to make is that sometimes your flaws

are not something to be ashamed. And certain flaws are what

make you unique.

Your FLAwS


the following are some common traits that are considered negative, but i would like to offer a positive spin. the next time you put yourself down try and think of the following:

tardiness is Your Middle nameYes, being late for certain important meetings could be a fatal flaw for

your job. However, if you are a few minutes late for a movie, you are

doing yourself a favor in missing all the movie trailers! Being habitually

late could also be a sign that you are afraid of arriving early. In a study

done by Psychology Today, people who are habitually late do not want

to spend several minutes waiting around, so they squeeze every bit of

productivity in before leaving for an appointment.

You Are physically Unattractive Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. If you focus on something that

you dislike you are missing the other traits that make you beautiful.

The lines you hate around your eyes are not something to be ashamed.

You earned them, and should be thankful you are still alive to look at

them. A positive outlook on life and a pleasant disposition can make

anyone more attractive.

You Can't Complete projectsHaving too much on your plate can feel

overwhelming resulting in tasks not

getting completed. This can leave you

feeling like you have failed and that you

are incapable of doing anything. You are

projecting your inability to complete

numerous things as a reflection on you.

Which it is not. It just means you are too

busy. Ease back and only take on things

that you know you can handle.

Make a list of the aspects of your personality

that you view as flaws. Be brutally honest

with yourself and decide if they are harming

or helping you. If they are getting in the

way of living your best life, then consider

changing them. If not, learn to accept them,

and perhaps even embrace them.

the things we perceive as flaws are

what make us unique!


FAMILY fiction

the diary of a

Modern MoM:

rage Against the

Bathroom Wall

By: Meagan Church

Dear Jo,

There is a reason God designed us to not remember our first few years of life. If we did, I’m afraid that following that “honor thy father and mother” commandment would be even more difficult than it already is at times. Today was one of those days when you hope that Emerson’s developing brain will choose to trash the memory instead of retain it.

You should’ve been at church today. You weren’t looking forward to taking the two kids there all by yourself, but you needed an escape from solo parenting, even if for only an hour. But, that all changed when a stomach bug decided to attack Emerson, while Paul was still in Indiana’s airspace. You hoped it would just be a 24-hour deal, but luck was not on your side.

The past few days have been a constant up and down of Emerson thinking he’s fine, running around the house and then heaving a short time later. You are exhausted and spent, and yet you aren’t even the one who is sick.

You have tried to keep him calm and subdued, sitting him in front of the television for a longer stretch than he’s ever had. You’ve done your best to keep his sleep schedule as regular as possible. Unfortunately, he hasn’t seen the necessity in that.

Why should you be surprised? After all, he came out of the womb protesting sleep. You had always laughed at the notion of a sleep schedule until you gave birth to a child who refused to sleep. Then your world revolved around that schedule. Good nap times led to good (or at least better) bed times, so you arranged your schedule and your life to honor his sleep, hoping it he would submit to some shut eye. You even put black-out curtains in his room to try to trick his circadian rhythms into believing it was time to sleep. You prayed earnestly for him to sleep through the night. You had always prayed for patience before he was ever born. Little did you know that the answer to that prayer


would not be a magical gift of suddenly understanding how to be patient. It would instead come in the form of a high-needs, colicky baby who would test your patience until you learned to grow some.

If only you had learned by now. Then maybe today would’ve gone differently.

He looked tired. He acted tired. You had this false sense that maybe today he would just go to sleep. He had been doing better with naps. At least before he got sick. You went through the whole routine. You talked about it being naptime. You told him his body needed rest, so it could heal. You thought he understood. You read him two books that morphed into four. You sang him a song and rubbed his back. You asked him to close his eyes. Instead, he rolled onto his side, facing the wall instead of you. Every few minutes he’d fidget and move. You tried to let it go. You tried to remind him gently. The gentle reminders turned into more terse ones. You began to calculate the time in your mind. All you wanted was a few minutes to yourself. Maybe you’d even take a shower. Or maybe you’d go lie down on the couch (let’s be honest, that was the more realistic option).

But he wouldn’t sleep. He needed to sleep. He needed to heal and to do so, he needed sleep.

You reminded him again that it was naptime. With each fidget, you felt your cheeks warm and sweat form on your upper lip. Why

wouldn’t he just go to sleep?! He was tired!!

And then you yelled. You yelled at him to CLOSE HIS EYES! To GO THE FRICK TO SLEEP! He looked at you. And he laughed.

You stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind you. Tears streamed down your face as you slammed the bathroom door closed. And then you punched the bathroom wall.

Why wouldn’t he just sleep? How could he not sleep? His body was so tired. Why wouldn’t he just listen?

And then you heard Lyla. You wanted to blame Emerson for waking her. Indirectly, maybe it was his fault, but really you knew it was yours. You were the one who slammed the doors and hit the wall. You were the one who yelled. You sat on the bathroom floor and cried. When you finally felt like you could open the door again, you heard both kids lying in their separate beds, singing and laughing. And you wanted to start crying all over again.

The Diary of a Modern Mom is a serial fiction story written by Meagan Church. Check back each month for the next installment of one mom’s attempt to chronicle what she has been told are the days she shouldn’t forget…spit-up, tantrums, milestones and all.

FAMILY craft

Spring/Baby

By: Jill Lebbin

sUppliEs: • Paper Umbrella (Hobby Lobby- They

Come In Different Colors Too)

• Faux Flowers

• Pinwheels (Hobby Lobby)

• Wired Ribbon

dirECtiOns: Step 1: Place Faux Flowers inside the umbrella along with the pinwheels.

Step 2: Tie ribbon around umbrella.

Step 3: Enjoy! This door decor is cute for a baby shower or to hang during the spring time.

For a video tutorial please visit… http://everydayisanoccasion.com/baby-shower-wreath-that-really-isnt-a-wreath

SHOwerdoor decor

233 Florence Ave. | Granger, IN 46530

Doing whatever you can to hide your legs?

Do you suffer from burning or itchy legs? Are your legs swollen after being on your feet all day? Is leg heaviness, pain or discomfort a frequent problem for you? If you said yes to any of these questions, you may have varicose veins.

Call our office at 574.647.3990 for a consultation or visit us at BeaconVeins.com.

family magazine may 2016

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