Falling to Masterpieces 1.1By fraulineTaube (originally posted on the Exchange)

Partaking in the Garden of Earthly Delights: Kissing, Puking, Sacred Toilets! Are you ready?

This is the beginning of my new alphabet legacy, Falling to Masterpieces. So welcome to Chapter 1.1: Partaking in the Garden of Earthly Delights.

A big thank you to all the SiManians who have encouraged me with this and my other legacy - you guys are the best!

Mmm . . . hello, handsome!

"Um, hi. Where am I?"

Oh, just in the middle of nowhere in an uninhabited neighborhood . . .

"Crap. This is one of those legacy things, isn't it?"

Afraid so! Take a good look at the home of you and 26 generations of your descendents!

"Noooooooo!"

Tell us a little about yourself, mister founder.

"Not talking to you."

While my founder comes to grips with his fate, let me introduce you. This is Hieronymous Masterpiece. He is a family sim with the LTW of graduating three children from college. He is an Aquarius with personality 6/0/5/8/6. He has gorgeous custom blue eyes and custom hair, and a very nice default skin and - eeeee! - elf ears!

This is an alphabet legacy, so Hiery's kids will all have names starting with A, his grandkids will have names starting with B, and so on and so on until I get to Z, my computer explodes, or I get distracted by something shiny and wander off. Anyway, the astute among you may already know who my founder is named after - Hieronymous Bosch, a painter from the 15th century. He painted the picture that is the background of the cover, known as The Garden of Earthly Delights. Bosch was known for his bizarre and intricately surreal paintings. Hiery the sim's descendents will also be named after other famous artists.

Oh, and did I mention we're doing an extreme start? Hiery has the bare essentials, but only enough to keep him going for the week before he can move someone in, hopefully someone with a lot of money. He's got a phone, a fridge, a bed, a toilet and shower behind the wall, a bench, one book (I sold back the bookcase), and a flamingo for fun. The nice female-friendly color scheme we've got here with the bed, fridge, and flamingo ought to let potential mates know that Hiery is in touch with his sensitive side.

"Shut up."

Hey, you're not cranky anymore. Are you ready for this legacy after all?

"I was just reading the Vermachtnis Legacy and I realized that you are pretty much the dream controller for a family sim. I'd like ten kids *now*, please."

We'll have to see about that. For now, how about a job?

"Yeah, so I'm a family sim and I'm gonna have tons and tons of kids. But first I need to find a kissing partner, and then we'll kiss a bunch and I guess somehow that will give us babies. I've never kissed anyone but I think I'd be really good at it. That kind of thing comes naturally to family sims, right? Yeah, I think about kissing a lot."

"Can I go now, sir?"

This flamingo is a great investment. A few kicks and Hiery's fun bar is full. Simple minds, simple pleasures, right?

"Tra la la . . . skipping across my empty lawn . . . la de . . . Oh! Who are you?!"

"Um, hi, I just came to welcome you to the neighborhood . . . uh, is this a good time or should I come back later?"

Ooh! Hiery has a female townie guest. Who could this eligible bachelorette be?

Hmm . . . she looks familiar! The first townie to wander through the empty rolling hills of Blank Canvas is my simself! Hi Roxanne!

"Hi Roxanne. Um, I know you told me I'm here to catch a man . . ."

Shhhhhh . . . practice discretion, simRoxy. You just happened to be the only townie so far, pure coincidence!

"Yeah . . . anyway, I think I could have done with a little less makeup. Don't want to look desperate and all that."

You know, the eyeshadow did look a lot more subtle in CAS.

Ooh la la, Hiery thinks simRoxy is hot. Funny how these things work out, isn't it?

"What are my interests? Well, I really like kissing. Kissing and babies."

Could my simself really be anything besides a family sim?

"So, uh . . . you want to move in?"

"Yeah, maybe in like 6 days."

"So I was thinking about kissing. I can't wait to kiss someone! What's your opinion on kissing? Is it the greatest thing ever, or the absolute greatest thing ever?"

"Hey, uh, you're kind of cute. I like your . . ."

Eyes up, Hiery!

"Hey, I was thinking about what you said earlier about getting a first kiss. How about I help you out there?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I can't just go kissing anyone. What, do you think I'm obsessed with kissing or something?"

Notice my simself carefully observing. Not possessive at all, this one.

Its about 5:30 pm and we have a crush. Did I mention simRoxy and Hiery have a three bolt attraction?

You know what, Hieronymous? I like you. You keep spinning up wants to give my simself a backrub and I may think about those ten kids.

"Yes!!"

Okay, its a little after 7 pm and we are now at best friends status and making out. You know you guys still have to wait 6 more days to get together?

"Mmmf . . . busy here. Go away."

Learning a lot about cooking there, Hiery?

"Actually I was thinking about kissing."

Do tell.

Hey! SimRoxy! Unacceptable! Your boyfriend is so broke he is reading in the dark on the lawn. Where are the fancy presents?

"Mmmmm . . . this shower reminds me of kissing. I had my first kiss the other day. Tomorrow I think I'd like to kiss some more."

Hiery has quite the one-track mind.

"I just found out something amazing! Sometimes, you can get married to the person you like to kiss. I think I'd like to do that. Just think how much kissing I could do then!"

The evolution of a simple-minded family sim: fascinating.

Hieronymous got a job in the Law Enforcement career, but he still had hardly any money and the day when he could move other sims in was fast approaching. He took a few odd jobs here and there, but his mind often wandered.

Are you sick of the lovey-dovey stuff yet? Hee hee, too bad!

"Man, I am so in."

Yeah, simRoxy has pretty much given up on discretion. She shows up everywhere I take Hiery.

"Shhhhh, don't tell anyone, but that barista guy is kind of funny looking."

"Which one, the one standing right over there and staring at us?"

"Shhhhhhhh!"

Uh oh, this doesn't look good. We've been caught red-handed just as simRoxy and Hiery fell in love.

"What kind of trampy writer puts that much makeup on her simself and lets her wander all over town like some kind of sim hussy? Young lady, you better shape up right now!"

"Help me, Hieronymous! Won't you defend my honor, or at least my aching head?"

"Uh, nope, I think I'm going sit this one out. Boy, that was a good make-out though."

Wuss.

Late at night, the lot is practically deserted, so Hiery and simRoxy can get a little closer acquainted.

"Honest, Mrs. Crumplebottom! We weren't doing anything! Uh, hey, Hiery, have you found my contact yet?"

Living on the lawn with hardly any money is a difficult life. Hieronymous can't wait until simRoxy can move in. Hopefully she'll bring a lot of money with her and we can build a house!

"Is it almost time yet?"

We're getting very close, Hiery.

When simRoxy yet again shows up to the lot unbidden, I figure I'll indulge a want that both of them have had for a while, even though there's still a day or two to go before the first week is up.

"Roxy, will you marry we and hopefully bring a lot of money so we can build a house and get started on the ten babies I want?"

"About time . . . I mean, what a surprise! Of course, Hiery!"

Now that she's caught her man, simRoxy figures she can let down her guard a bit, I guess.

Hieronymous was still seriously strapped for cash, so he started a venue at his house. All you need for this fabulous business is the open/closed sign and the ticket-taker. Now the sims that would come over to kick the flamingo and mill about talking to each other do the exact same things, but they pay for it! With the money, Hiery was able to start adding a few more objects like a stereo and an easel.

The stereo turns out to be a huge attraction. Sims will pay to dance for hours on a lawn sprinkled with cheap furniture. Hiery doesn't even have to lift a hand, although he doesn't mind doing a little dancing himself.

"Hiery, I don't like the bed!"

"Um, okay. Why?"

Good question. The only downside to having a home business is that visiting sims seem to randomly want to complain about things.

Hiery hits his stride at work and starts getting promotion after promotion.

Meanwhile, Hiery is getting paid bundles of money to sleep through a fight. I think one or both of the fighters lost a star, but who cares? They're paying for the future house.

Finally the week is up and simRoxy moves in . . . with $987. Seriously. That is pathetic. So, instead of a house, they got a pretty wedding area, all of which was sold back as soon as it was unneeded.

Welcome to the family, Roxanne Masterpiece, founding mother of the Masterpiece family.

SimRoxy is a family sim with the LTW to have 6 grandchildren, a great want in my opinion. Her personality is 4/3/4/7/7. She has genetic brown hair, custom blue eyes, and a lighter default skin.

Another promotion. SimRoxy came into the family as a State Assemblyperson, making $756 a day. This is important because I have played ahead to where Hiery is almost an elder, and simRoxy has not gotten a single promotion, for reasons which will become clearer later.

Still, the Masterpieces are saving their meager salaries and the income from their home business with the hopes of having a house by the time their first child is born.

It looks like they don't have much time to save up, though.

"Roxy! I really have to use the potty!"

" . . . ugh, little busy here, Hiery . . ."

Hiery comes home from his second day of work as a married man with another promotion.

SimRoxy, meanwhile, comes home stinky and pregnant. Oh well! Here comes gen. A!

This picture cracks me up. SimRoxy seemed to spend almost all of her maternity leave dancing and smustling on the lawn. Visiting customers could hardly stay away from such an exciting event as Roxanne's Pregnant Smustleganza, so Hiery was free to work on his skills while my simself kept the customers entertained.

Yep, insane.

Aww, what a sweet little couple, dreaming of each other . . . wait a second, they're thinking of themselves! Sigh . . . synchronized somnalent self-centeredness. Alliteration is awesome!

Another day brings another bump in the approach to the first birth of this legacy.

SimRoxy is very bad at being pregnant. Except for dancing, eating, and sleeping, she doesn't do much of anything. Hieronymous likes to relax while she's sleeping though. He does this autonomously all the time and I think its so sweet, like he's watching over his pregnant wife.

"Oh, Hieronymous, what a charmer!"

"Yes, yes, I am, aren't I? The kind of charmer one might want to have ten children with?"

"What?!!"

Don't give up the dream, Hiery!

Hieronymous is very excited for the birth of his first child. I love the "Baby" interactions; they're just so cute.

Another day, another promotion, another stench cloud. But the good news is that by this time the Masterpieces have saved up quite a bit of money. Looks like its almost time for that house!

"Roxy, I'm home. I was thinking about the house . . ."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Well, I guess we could discuss it later, if you want."

Awwww, welcome little nooboo.

But, um, Hiery, what are doing?

"Oh, just relaxing. If we're going to have ten kids we'd better get started right away on the next one!"

Meet Avery Masterpiece, a son that looks almost exactly like his father!

Milton Avery was a painter in the first half of the 20th century. He was influenced by Matisse and a pre-Cubist Picasso, and painted semi-abstract landscapes and figure pictures. He was known for a striking use of color.

Now that they have a baby to take care of, Roxy and Hiery finally go through their savings to build a little house. Its been so long since I've had sims living this frugally, but I'm rather proud of what they were able to earn by this point. The venue was a huge help, almost negating totally the handicap of an extreme start.

Small but cozy, the inside has plenty of room for the family at this point. There's two bathrooms in opposite corners, a kitchen/dining area in the upper left, bedrooms for Avery and the parents at the bottom, and a living room in the middle. Not only do they have all the basics, but they were able to afford to decorate the inside and add a TV and a few skilling objects. The outside will have to wait until there's a bit more money.

Like any good family sim, Hieronymous is delighted with his first child. Avery gets plenty of attention, even though his dad is already craving another little nooboo.

A few days later the venue has earned us enough money to decorate the outside. Its a modest house for now, but it provides plenty of room for the growing family, and plenty of space for the customers that come by to hang out.

Time flies, and Avery's birthday came quickly. Let's see how those genes combine!

How freaking adorable is he? Avery even has his daddy's elf ears. He has a great personality too - 10/0/8/7/10. I love my neat, shy, nice little son already. He looks so much like Hieronymous!

Has pregnancy so addled simRoxy's brain that she has taken to dressing in unattractive clothes? Nope, that's just Carol, a customer who had the audacity to copy my hairstyle. She ate some rotting food that we accidently left out and got food poisoning, but since she's a townie there's not much we can do about it. At least she pays to come throw up in our toilet!

Avery, I love you! Since he's very playful, Avery just loves to make music. He just plays day and night, day and night, day and night, until everyone's been driven crazy. On the plus side, he inspired his father to paint "Musical Hell."

Hmm, that must be when I installed Glamour Life Stuff. I always forget to reenable my custom content!

Avery is very quick to learn his skills. He said his first word on his very first try!

"Avery? Avery? Are you going to come play with the xylophone?.Hello? Anybody?.Well, maybe no one will notice if I play a little . . ."

Weirdo.

"Oh man, I think there is a distinct possibility that I might be pregnant."

Wow, with the thinking cap you're just soooo insightful, simRoxy. If you haven't been sharing meals with Carol, I'd say that's probably a good guess.

"Urrrrrrrr . . . hmm, I wonder if I'm pregnant? How to tell, how to tell . . ."

"Ahem, I'll just go take this potty balloon to the *other* toilet since someone is HOGGING this one!"

Although Hieronmyous is normally very sensitive, he has some serious territory issues about simRoxy puking in the toilet.

"Guess I'll just clean this toilet. Yes, my little toilet, you like that, don't you?"

"Hiery! I have to ponder whether I might be pregnant in a very physical way! Can you please move?!!"

"Not my precious toilet!"

"Hmmm . . . let me think this over. Kissing, woohoo, pukalicious assaults on my precious toilet, babies. More kissing, more woohoo, more sacrilege . . . I wonder what will happen next?"

Yes, he's almost as slow as his wife, isn't he?

"Hey, Sam, maybe you can help me think this over. The other day I was making out with my wife, which just so happens to be one of my favorite activities, as it is in fact a form of kissing. But I digress! So we were making out and . . ."

"Dude, just move your pawn. I saw your thought bubble in the last panel."

Meanwhile, in the other room, Avery masters another skill and both mommy and son shoot into the platinum.

Back in the living room . . .

". . . and that's why I think there might be a distinct possibility that Roxy might be pregnant. Because of the puking."

"Why do I pay to come here, again?"

"Man, I am so nauseous. I really wonder if . . ."

YES!! Yes already!

And yes, simRoxy really did puke this many times in one day. This is a super-fun pregnancy. I'm so glad I'm just watching her do it.

"As a prominent politician who has only gone to one or two days of work so far (much like real congresspeople! ha ha!) I feel I must address an important issue. Why is it so hard to find Dr. Pepper? You can get your dull cola almost anywhere you go. Same with your piddly lemon-lime drinks and average root beer. But one must search far and wide to find the pinnacle of soda that is Dr. Pepper - usually only to be presented with Mr. Pibb instead, which is not at all the same. As a free people, we must not allow this travesty to continue! This message has been paid for by Friends of Pepper."

Can you just hurry up and do the first bump already? This is getting tiresome and more than a little gross. Also, how did that one speck get outside?

"So, Carol, Hieronymous was telling me this crazy stuff about kissing and all that, and I thought, since you're already puking all the time anyway, well . . ."

"Don't push your luck, buster. You're no Hieronymous Masterpiece."

Reason number 587 to have a home business. Sims will pay to raise the social bar of your pregnant sim and make friends for promotions, especially if you feed them.

Gads, simRoxy. Are you sure you don't have some horrible stomach disease instead of being pregnant?

"Do you really think I'm pregnant? I was starting to wonder . . ."

While simRoxy throws up over and over, Hiery takes some time to get to know his little look-alike. I love this picture. Aren't they just so sweet?

Hmm, Hieronymous?

"Uh, yeah? I wasn't doing anything . . . just laying down for a nap."

Right, Mr. Guilty Conscience. Tyler and Kelly seemed to get along really well, so Hiery influenced Tyler to flirt with Kelly, just to see what would happen. To my delight, they developed a crush and major customer satisfaction points.

Another promotion! Yay! I think we'll probably have to expand the house again soon, so the Masterpieces are saving for improvements.

Also, are any of you jealous that Hiery's Noodlesoother has a mustache? He's so virulently masculine that even his goofy helmet sprouts facial hair.

Meanwhile, simRoxy wakes up from a nightmare with a sudden realization.

"Oh my goodness! I am almost completely convinced that I am pregnant . . . almost!"

Sigh, so close . . .

Alright, I know I didn't get very far, but there will definitely be more of this family in the future. In the next chapter, you can see simRoxy's *possible* pregnancy advance, watch adorable Avery grow up, see the antics of stupid townie customers . . . and witness the madness as SiManians invade the town of Blank Canvas!

If you liked this legacy, you'd probably get a kick out of dropping by SiMania. If you're already a SiManian, I guess you're just too cool for school, eh? Anyway, if you want to hear exclusive information about Falling to Masterpieces or just find a really great place to get to know other Simmers, then I hope I'll see you there!

http://s12.invisionfree.com/Sim_Mania

Thanks for reading!