excerpt from "adderall infused nesquik"

8/12/2019 Excerpt from "Adderall Infused Nesquik"

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Adderall Infused Nesquik by Joshua Elul

Adderall Infused Nesquikby Joshua Elul

Tired of his apathetic attitude towards lifeand his inability to understand significance

of events, a mentally unstable amateurjournalist, with the help of a friend hefinds utterly annoying, attempts to do a

story on Neonazis in order to be affected bysomething in reality.

Written from his point of view, his missingdetails and conflicting narrative leaves uswith only puzzle pieces of this story. Astory capturing an incredible war in

Americas violent underground where theconcepts of nobility and greed are

interpreted in strikingly offensive ways.

http://www jelul in

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Chapter II

Ebonics, Antisemitism, and Oxford

Commas.

I lovebananas.

In the first chapter you may have picked upon that, but I need to reiterate that fact for

the following story.

I love bananas, a lot. But there are those

times in which bananas just dont satisfy

my cravings. In instances such as those, Ifind myself turning to a nice glass of milk

flavored with strawberry Nesquik. Like a

goddamn war hero. So imagine how I must

of felt when I stumbled upon a Young

Turks news story about how a seventeen

year old girl died when she overdosed onadderall.

She was taking too many classes and she

needed a boost to keep focused and

motivated. Thats a story we all have heard

thousands of times, but this one wasdifferent. She needed a boost to keep

focused and motivated, cue gasp, according

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to her parents. Thats fucking weird, yall.

But it gets weirder. They didnt just ask adoctor to prescribe it to her or convince her

to take it like normal God-fearing suburban

parents would. Instead, what they did was

they took apart the capsules and mixed

those little orangish white pellets in with

her favorite drink:

Milk flavored with strawberry Nesquik.

Now, what happens often with

amphetamines is that they make people

thirsty because its dehydrating. Combinethis with the American trend of not

drinking water, at all, for some reason. I

mean for real, people are drinking diet

soda more often than water these days. She

quenched her thirst with more of her

favorite drink, which contained theamphetamine.

Unsurprisingly, the parents sued Nestle. At

that time, and shockingly still this very day,

there was nothing on the Nesquik

container saying that one should not mix itwith adderall. That is disturbing news,

because for all I know there can be adderall

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in my strawberry Nesquik powder. There is

no label there to stop someone from doingit to mydrink.

Now, I cant just not drink milk flavored

with strawberry Nesquik because Ive

never drank water and Ill be damned if I

start today. So each morning Im essentiallyforced to pour out all the Nesquik and

inspect each pellet to assure that there isnt

any adderall in it. This mandatory practice

has cost me several hours each day.

In other news, Jessica agreed to come alongwith me to work on my journalist novel.

Though, she seems to be frustrated because

every time I look at the news, I get

paranoid about something.

Most of the time, I still cant seem toremember why Im even here. Luckily, on

the cover of my journal I wrote: try to

remember stuff, you cant so you are

embarking on an adventure with that

annoying girl, also shes gay, I dont know

if that matters, but she is.

It has occurred to me that I could just read

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my journal to remember everything but

that would involve reading over and overagain and I cant take time out of Nesquik

inspection to do so.

Have you fucking found

something yet? She said, sneaking

up behind me.No, Im still looking. I said.

I remained on my laptop, searching the

local news vigorously. Looking at craigslist

ads, googling random shit, and just

watching an obscene amount of porn andcooking shows.

Jessica didnt seem to happy about any of

that, and the amount of time I wasted. She

closed my laptop and showed me a Neonazi

flyer. I thought she was trying to startsomething, interrupting my F-Word with

Gordon Ramsay marathon with a nazi

poster, but she explained we can go

undercover and follow them in their

shenanigans.

I dont think we should do

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excerpt from "adderall infused nesquik"

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