emily ransom, andre sobel 2010 award winner

EMILY RANSOM2010

ANDRE SOBEL AWARDFIRST PLACE WINNER

CREATIVE DETERMINED LOVING COMPASSIONATEHUMOROUS AMBITIOUS FRIENDLY OPTIMISTIC

PASSIONATE Today, Emily is a healthy eighteen-year-old living life to the fullest. She is currently a freshman at Boston College in Massachusetts. Her major is Elementary Education and she plans on becoming a kindergarten or first grade teacher. She is honored to be part of the BC community and has happily transitioned into college life.

Emily was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia at age eleven. Through her experience with cancer she learned to appreciate relationships with others and to embrace opportunities in life. The Andre Sobel Award gave Emily the chance to share her story with others. Emily knows the feeling of lying in a hospital bed being told you have a terminal illness. Fear, confusion, sadness, loneliness, and even anger take over your body as the message sinks in. The poem Emily wrote is meant to inspire others on their journey back to health. Emily hopes that others will connect with the feelings and emotions she felt throughout her journey and that they will continue to fight back. Never give up hope!

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EMILY RANSOM’S ESSAY

EMILY

I Had Cancer; Cancer Never Had Me

It is not my blood under that microscope

They must have mixed up the vials

I will never have to take steroids or chemo

Nausea will not overtake my body each morning

I am not sick, that blood is not mine

My hair will remain attached to my head

A port, what is that? I will never know

Other kids will not pick on me because of my appearance

I will never sleep in a hospital


I will never be a cancer patient

Mutated cells are not destroying my body

My life will not change

I will wake up from this horrible nightmare


I lost weight because I didn’t eat

I didn’t eat because I wasn’t hungry

I was pale because I didn’t go outside

I didn’t go outside because my body ached

I was exhausted because I didn’t sleep

I didn’t sleep because I couldn’t quiet my mind

I was weak because I didn’t exercise

I didn’t exercise because my muscles were feeble


EMILY

I didn’t play with my friends because I watched T.V.

I watched T.V. because it didn’t take any effort

I wasn’t acting like a normal eleven year-old because I was different

I was different because I had cancer.

It was the chlorine in my drinking water

It was the polluted air in which I breathed

It was the genes passed on by my parents

It was the radiation emitted from the microwave

I am trapped in a body that sabotaged me

It was my blood cells that mutated themselves

It was the spoiled milk that I drank

It was the pen cap I chewed on for days

It was the school lunch I consumed


It was the time I didn’t wear sunscreen

It was the rusty nail on which I stepped

It was the aerosol spray that entered my lungs

It was the pesticides sprayed on my food


I swallowed the pills because I was sick

I was sick because of a mutated cell

I cried that morning because it hurt to stand

It hurt to stand because my muscles were sore

I fell down in the shower because my back gave out

My back gave out because it was poisoned


EMILY

I wore a bandana because my hair fell out

My hair fell out because of the chemotherapy I took

I lay in my bed because I was stuck in my room

I was stuck in my room because I couldn’t walk down the stairs

I didn’t look like a normal eleven year-old because I was different

I was different because I had cancer

I take back the time I yelled at my siblings

I take back the mean names I called my friends

I take back the anger that escaped my body

I take back the times I forgot to say thank-you

Why is this disease destroying my body?

I take back the times I broke something special

I take back the lie I told my mom

I take back feelings of jealousy towards my peers

I take back the time I said that I hated my family


I take back the time I ruined the surprise party

I take back the guilt that I made my dad feel

I take back the envy I felt for my sister

I take back the times I pretended to be sick


I wanted a cause for my terminal illness because I needed a reason

I needed a reason so I would stop blaming myself

I stopped obsessing for answers because I had to face reality

I had to face reality because the truth is that I may never know the cause of my disease


EMILY

I learned that cancer was more than a disease because it changed my life

It changed my life because it threatened to take it away

I continued to fight because I wasn’t ready to die

I wasn’t ready to die because I had much more to accomplish

I didn’t think like a normal eleven year-old because I was different

I was different because I had cancer

It was my blood under that microscope

They didn’t mix up the vials

I had to take steroids and chemo

Nausea took over my body each morning

I was sick, that blood was mine

My hair because unattached from my head

A port was an IV’s pathway to my veins

Other kids did pick on me because of my appearance

I slept in a hospital for more nights than I can count


I was a cancer patient at Fletcher Allen Health Care

Mutated cells were destroying my body

My life changed dramatically

I never woke up from that reality


I look at the world with different eyes because I am a survivor

I am a survivor because I never lost hope

I look forward to the future because I know it is bright

I know that it is bright because I will embrace every opportunity

I will pursue my dreams because I desire to become a teacher


EMILY

I desire to be a teacher because that is my destiny

I am thankful for my doctors, nurses, family, and friends because they helped save me

They helped save me because I had a life to live

I am proud of myself because I conquered leukemia

I conquered leukemia because I am strong.

I had cancer; cancer NEVER had me.

Andre Sobel was a remarkable young man who had natural dignity, a promising future and an unconventional sense of humor. Andre’s young life ended just one year after he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He was 19. He was the beloved son of Erwin and Valerie Sobel and brother to Simone.

Andre was well traveled, often seeking destinations that were frequented by his favorite authors, like Samuel Beckett, St. Augustine and Franz Kafka. The books Andre treasured were filled with his margin comments, underlinings and asterisks, the stamp of his rich intellectual curiosity. But the finest of all his gifts were his qualities of mercy and compassion.

To honor Andre, and out of their deep love and respect for him, his family established the Andre Sobel River of Life Foundation and shortly thereafter the Andre Sobel Essay Award. The purpose of the competition is to honor the young survivors of a catastrophic illness. If a young person considered themselves to be a “survivor” or were the companion of a survivor, they were invited to enter the essay competition. This year, several cash awards were granted. The first place winner received a $5,000 cash prize Smaller cash prizes were awarded to the runner-ups. The cash award can be used in any way the recipient chooses.

ABOUT YOU ARE [YOUR STORY]

emily ransom, andre sobel 2010 award winner

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