elder family mediation
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Elder Family MediationElder Family MediationElder and Disability Law ForumElder and Disability Law Forum
May 30, 2012May 30, 2012
Charlie RobinsonClearwater, FL
Family Dispute ResolutionFamily Dispute Resolution
Family disputes can impair or destroy the professional’s ability to provide workable client solutions.
Failure to resolve these disputes can result in
Lifetime of hard feelingsLitigationProblem may
never be solved
WhenWhenAny serious family issue that needs a family
decision may lend itself to elder family mediation and strategic planning.
The threat of litigation is not necessary but a need to feel the family can and should resolve the issue is necessary.
Everyone in the family will be heard and understand and hopefully support the resolution of the problem.
WhyWhy
Elder Family Mediation may keep the family together and arrive at a sensible consensus resolution to the dispute.
AdvantagesAdvantagesLess costly than
◦litigation ◦no decision at all
Family long range strategic plan
Not family counseling
ResultsResults
The consensus solution should be better than any individual proposals initially presented
Examples:Examples:
Kids from first marriage complaining about Medicaid planning
Fights about personal property among kids◦with a will or not◦tchotchkes (trinkets) ◦not cash or even the house
HealthHealthPhysical, emotional, or mental declineHealth and safety concernsIndependence and self-determination versus
safety including driving.
CareCare
Disputes over placement and cost of care for failing parent
Residence and long term care decisions
Caregiver issuesHow to compensate the
caregiver child
DecisionsDecisionsAdvance directives
who makes what decisionsMedical treatment decisionsEnd of life decisions
FinancesFinancesHow to handle parents’ investment portfolio
and choice of financial advisorFinancial concerns and tax issuesConsider selling the house and other
valuable assets
DeathDeathDeath of spouseBurial disputesInheritance disputes
The Rescuer The Rescuer Swooping - flying in from out of town and
trying to resolve many issues in a short period of time.
Often runs over the sibling who has provided hands on care for some time.
Any family situation that is not resolved that needs resolution
Professional Serving Elders Professional Serving Elders Decisions important to the familyProcess may make the family strongerAllow the professional to do a better job Everyone pulling together for shared goal
The Darling Family StoryThe Darling Family Story
Putting the pieces together
The ProcessThe ProcessEach family has a unique, often tacit
understanding of how decisions are made and conflicts resolved known as their “dispute system.”
Mediation is a good way to review and reconsider this dispute system
Consensus building model process:◦Convening◦Conflict assessment◦Agenda building
IntakeIntake
Understand the issues.
The mediator asks each family member to provide a summary of the issues and where they stands on each of the issues the family is facing.
Private SessionsPrivate Sessions
The mediator will often meet privately in person or on the telephone to listen to each person’s story and gain perspective on each family member’s perspective.
Family Meeting(s)Family Meeting(s)Help resolve the issuesMeeting summary and follow up
Everybody is HeardEverybody is Heard
GoalGoal
Work toward long term solutionsSatisfied constituencies
Avoid taking a vote and thus creating a discontented minority
Periodic ConsensusPeriodic ConsensusWholeheartedly agree –
Good ideaWill support –
Can live with thisHave reservations –
Want to talkHave serious concerns –
Must talkCannot be part of this –
Must block it
ResultsResultsHappy FamilyBest Care of SeniorFinancial SecurityDefined GoalsPlan of Action
Visit our Web SiteVisit our Web Site
www.Charlie-Robinson.comwww.CharlieRobinsonFuturist.com
Or Email Comments to [email protected]
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