QUALITIES THAT MAKEA GREAT LEADER

WITHIN DUBLI NETWORK

Active Listening vs. HearingThere are many qualities that determine a good leader within DubLi Network, and though thousands of books have been written on the subject, these assets are still highly misunder-stood. Regardless of who you ask or which books you read, great leadership arises from one key characteristic: good communication as a direct result of good listening skills.

Those who are poor listeners will never become great leaders and will never advance in rank within DubLi Network. Good listening is the key ingredient for building trust and creating mutually honest and respectful relationships with your team and customers. The quality of your listening skills ultimately determines the quality of your influence on others which di-rectly impacts the benefits received in your DubLi Network business. Good communication skills are the result of active-ly listening and truly understanding another person.

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It is about paying full attention to the per-son speaking and concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively ‘hear-ing’ the message. Listening is about under-standing, digesting and responding to the messages of the speaker. When you listen, you understand what your team, customer or prospects want and need. Poor listening skills, in fact, are much more common than poor speaking skills.

What is activelistening?

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Hearing and listening, often used inter-changeably, have quite distinctly different meanings. Hearing is passive requiring no effort. It is one of our five senses after all, so it is a matter of birthright. Listening, on the other hand, is a conscious choice that de-mands attention and concentration. Hearing is the ability to perceive sound by detecting vibrations through an organ such as the ear. Listening is a technique used in communi-cation that requires a person to pay atten-tion to the speaker and provide feedback. Listening takes hearing one step further and requires thought, focus and, many times, application.

We can all attest to the fact that you hear someone without actually listening to a word they’ve said. Remember the days of daydreaming in class? You were hear-

Have you ever had a conversation with a member of your team and they respond by saying “I hear you,” but you wonder if they are really listening?

ing noise in the classroom but were not listening to what the teacher said. Ac-cording to Merriam-Webster, hearing is “the process, function, or power of per-ceiving sound; specifically: the special sense by which noises and tones are re-ceived as stimuli. Listening is a process of communication, where if the person is not listening it can cause a break in com-munication. Listening is defined by Merri-am-Webster as, “to hear something with thoughtful attention: give consideration.” In short, the primary difference between hearing and listening is, that while hear-ing only refers to your ears picking up noise, listening requires interpreting the noise, understanding it and providing a response to it. Listening also uses other sense in order to be receptive to the oth-er person’s body language.

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• Concentration: Focus your atten-tion - on the words, ideas and feeling related to the subject. Focus on the main concepts or points. Everyone wants to be heard and understood, but most people don’t listen and fail to understand the meaning of anoth-er person’s words. It’s a basic human need to have feelings acknowledged, whether or not someone agrees with you. Honest listening creates an inti-mate connection and makes someone feel that you care.

• Paying Attention: Lean forward a lit-tle and focus directly on the person to show them that you are paying close attention. The National Youth Coun-cil says hearing is a passive quality; occurring even while you sleep. When you are merely hearing someone’s words, but not listening to the inher-ent meaning, can lead to misunder-standings, missed opportunities and resentments.

• Eye contact: Eye contact sends a mes-sage to the speaker concerning what they are saying. It communicates: Yes, I am listening, I am paying attention. I hear you. A good listener understands that communication works both ways. A good listener will not glance up at the clock or look down at your watch while another person is speaking.

• Receptive Body Language: The crossing of arms and legs is perceived as a closing of the mind and attention. Whether standing or seated, maintain-ing an appropriate distance is import-ant. If you are too close, you may ap-pear pushy or aggressive and, too far can be perceived as cold or distant.

• Restating the message: Paraphrase to confirm your understanding. Reflect back on the other person’s informa-tion, perspective, and feelings (e.g. “It sounds as if you’re feeling pretty frus-trated and discouraged”).

Attributes of good listening

• Questioning/Clarifying: Double-check anything that is ambiguous or unclear. If you are unclear about the intent of the message, ask for more information af-ter allowing sufficient time for explana-tions. For example: “I want to make sure that fully understood your message…” If the communication is not clear, such feedback will allow for immediate clar-ification.

• Empathy – not sympathy: As a good listener you need to be able to under-stand the other person, but you do not have to become like them. Try to put yourself in the speaker’s shoes so you can see what they are trying to commu-nicate. Listening requires that you allow yourself to feel the meaning of the oth-er person’s words and participate in the experience those words mean. People want to be understood.

Unfortunately, being a good listen-er does not guarantee that you will become a good leader. However, it is a step in the right direction. Peo-ple are more attracted to someone who listens well. To earn and main-tain quality relationships, your team needs to know you genuinely care about them. Listening is a learned technique that requires practice, in-tention, and mindfulness. The better you listen, the better you are con-nected, the better your relationships.

• You cannot listen while you are talking: An important question: why are YOU talking while someone else is: to attract attention? To commu-nicate a message? When you are talking you are not listening. It is hu-manly impossible to do both at the same time. Refrain from interrupting a speaker with your own thoughts. Good listening also requires keeping an open mind and abstaining from judgment.

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