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CheekismsRecorded by the Reverend Allen Rea and various other former students of Cheek. Some

names may be changed to protect the guilty.

1) Political thought has to come from somewhere. Personally, Rousseau

and I received ours from Blue Lagoon.

2) Upon hearing a male student comment that he would like to date a

certain female student, immediately after a lecture on presidential

character, Cheek said Watch out! Bill Clinton may beat you to the

punch!

3) Cheek Impersonating Bill Clinton: Please vote for my wife!

4) Upon hearing McCain announce Palin as his running mate: Who the

heck is Sarah Palin?! "Can Alaska be governed?

5) History is all in the past; Political Science is the here and now. Dont

tell the history professors I told you that.6) You can change the world, unless the world is changing you.

7) Whoa, looks like yourre on the Dick Morris diet!

8) Taft is my favorite president. It couldnt have been easy being so

fat!

9) I have a dream that Brewton-Parker is going to change for the better,

because in my dream Dr. Smith and I both have hair!

10) Ill go Patrick Calhoun on him!

11) Cheek on the B.P.C. Library: This is the only library I know where

its illegal to read!12) Cheeks mantra: "Fighting political illiteracy."

13) Plato had political theory students in mind when he pondered

philosopher-kings.

14) "Abraham Lincoln was a deviant. Honestly, just ask his cabinet."

15) "Statistics do not lie, but mine might be better than yours!"

16) Give me the biggie fry!

17) Whats the problem? Its nothing M&Ms and a coke cant fix.

18) If Hobbes were alive today, he would live in D.C.

19) Dont let Lockes frequent quotations of the Bible fool you.

Anyone can quote the Bible; I do it all the time.20) Aristotle was a ladies man.

21) If Edmund Burke were alive today, he would be a Southern senator,

voting against "no" all the time!

22) Cheek on McCranie's first book: "It is about Admiral Lord North and

the naval war against that French Guy!"

23) "I dont smoke, drink, or dance with girls that do."

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24) When all else fails, quote Kinky Friedman.

25) Dont read my books; God is watching!

26) C-SPAN is God's gift to humankind!

27) If I were Burr, I would have used a canon on Hamilton.

28) "Nine old men and women, parading as shamans!" [Describing the

U.S. Supreme Court].

29) "I am a professor, so I have no free time."

30) "In college I was National Lampoons Animal House. I didnt act

like it, I witnessed it."

31) Better never than late I always say.

32) "If the United Methodist Church had a Taliban, I would be a

member." (Dr. Cheek was referring to authentic Wesleyans.)