February 2012

Words When

Get in the Way

?SED UT pErSpiciaTiS

UNDE JESUS!

Copyright © 2012 Insight for Living Canada. All rights reserved. No portion of this monthly publication may be reproduced in any form without prior written permission from the publisher. Insights is published by IFLC, the Bible teaching ministry of Charles R. Swindoll. IFLC is an autonomous ministry and certified member of the Canadian Council of Christian Charities. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture passages are taken from the NASB. Printed in Canada. Unless otherwise noted, photography by IFLC staff.

“But all this changed

when i read through the

Bible for myself.”

3 Confusion Charles R. Swindoll

pressure points

6 Jellyfish Ministry Steve Johnson

lifetrac

9 When the Bible is Offensive Steve Callaway

stronG faMily

12 how to Cross Communication Barriers Scott Tolhurst

lauGhinG Matters

14 Creamed by a Dairy truck Phil Callaway

help Me understand

17 Forgiveness Insight for Living Canada

in this issue

by Charles R. Swindoll

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One of the toughest assignments in life is to commu-nicate clearly what happened during a time when emotions were high.

People who “fall in love” can hardly describe it. those who went through a calamity or experienced a sudden loss often convey the in-formation in a confused manner. the same is true for people who were involved in car accidents.

the following is a series of actual quotes taken from insurance or accident forms. Believe it or not, they are the actual words of troubled people who tried to summarize their encounters.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever ap-peared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but removing my hat, I found I had a skull fracture.

A truck backed through my wind-shield into my wife’s face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.

The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor’s with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

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Photograph of Chuck Swindoll © 2010 by David Edmonson

Are those unbelievable, or what?the amazing fact is that each report

was made by some sincere, serious in-dividual who tried his or her best to be

clear and concise. Emotions have a way of smearing the lens of logical thinking and precise communication.

it often happens to Christians when we share how we were “born again,” or how we became “new creatures” in Christ. as non-Christians strain to fol-low our words, i wonder how many of them must wonder what our religious gobbledegook is all about. We think

we’re communicating clearly, but we’re not. We toss out terms fa-

miliar only to the “in” group yet foreign to non-Christians. (and

then we blame the listener for not being interested!) Our secret language calls for a decoding process. how much better to talk in a plain, believable manner so the spirit of God can make a new Christian!

Peter advised, “always be ready to give

an answer to anyone who asks about the hope you possess” (1 Peter 3:15 NEt).

take that as an assignment from God. always be ready! see if you can write out in one, non-technical, cliché-free paragraph the hope within you, or your salvation ex-perience, or how someone can know God in a meaningful and intimate way.

Jesus took on this challenge when he spoke with a Jewish judge named Nicode-mus. and if you remember, even though our lord was painfully simple and the rabbi was awfully bright, Nicodemus still struggled as he tried to understand Christ’s words. Believe me—combating confusion is quite an assignment, espe-cially when the emotions of the heart cloud the expressions of the mouth.

it’s not that many have never heard . . . it’s that they’ve heard and been confused by our verbiage.

Our job? Make it clear!

“as non-christians strain to follow our words, I wonder how many of them must wonder what our

religious gobbledegook is all about.”

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by Steve Johnson

MinistryJellyfiish

6

Pres

sure

Poi

nts

Recently while in Cuba i walked along a beautiful beach and came upon a jellyfish that had washed ashore. it seems high winds and strong currents had pushed hundreds of them toward the shore with many being cast up on the sand to await death.

i bent down and, careful so as to not be stung, gently pushed the jellyfish back into the water. as i did i thought of the story of the young man who, like me, had walked along a shoreline and—instead of jellyfish—tossed washed-up starfish back into the ocean, one at a time. When questioned by a passerby as to the futility of trying to save the hundreds of beached starfish, the young man simply answered, “i made a difference to that one.”

i like to think i made a difference to one or two jellyfish that day.

When i consider our Christian respon-sibility to be salt and light, transform cul-ture, and make a difference in our world, i hear lots of rhetoric about the broad generalities of what Christians as a whole should do in standing up for justice and truth in society, about the big picture and large-scale movements.

i believe there is a place for that and some Christians are called and placed in positions to make a large impact in our so-ciety and world. But i can’t help think this isn’t the norm for most.

the majority of us are not placed in those high-level positions. Nor are we called upon by the lord to make a large-scale impact. like me with the jellyfish, or the young man with the starfish, we

are called to make a difference to whoever crosses our path as we walk through life.

But i don’t see that happening. and it may be due to how we think about a thing called ministry.

somewhere along the line subtle shifts occurred in our thinking about Christian ministry. One shift occurred regarding the person who does ministry. in much of our thinking the position of pastor and minis-ter are synonymous. We think of our pas-tors as the ministers who minister by teach-ing, leading, counselling, and visiting. We think our part is to gather in the church building and be ministered to as if that was the end in view. then we return to our daily lives for the week and leave ministry in the hands of the professional minister.

another shift occurred regarding the place where ministry takes place. When Christians began to build church buildings the thinking became that ministry takes place within the four walls of the church building. When people think of finding a place to minister they usually think of ushering or teaching sunday school or serving somewhere in some program in the church building.

i think we’ve got it wrong. in the Early Church we see the believ-

ers gathering together to be equipped for

“We are called to make a difference to whoever crosses our path as we walk through life.”

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on the air in february:

Steve Johnson is the executive director at IFLC.

Upcoming messages Include:

Let’s Repair the FoundationIn Defence of Monogamy

Bricks that Build a MarriageWho Says the Honeymoon Must End?

How to Have a Good Fight

The deterioration of marriages today is a painful reality. This study will help to rekindle the fire that has grown cold. Let the Light of the world spark that flame with His truth until it becomes a radiant blaze once again.

life and ministry (acts 2:42-47; Eph. 4:12) and then sent out to minister as they lived their lives in the daily grind. the Bible teaches that every believer is a minister, gifted by the lord uniquely to minister as we go through life. and while some min-istry happens in a church building, it’s not the primary place for it. Ministry takes place out in the world where we live.

in the familiar story of the Good samari-tan (luke 10:30-35) it was the samaritan, with his somewhat different culture, “as he traveled” that he ministered to and im-pacted the broken and bruised man. it was in the course of carrying out his daily life

and business that the samaritan minis-tered and made a difference. he didn’t transform his culture that day, but he made a difference to the life of the broken man. he was a minister, ministering to his neighbour, a man who crossed his path.

it is that ministry kind of approach to life by Christians that will transform our culture. the world will not know we are Christians by our buildings, programs, drama, or music. however, they will know we are followers of Christ and be won to him and transformed by him because of our love and ministry to them.

We need to set our sights on ministering and making a difference to those whose paths we cross each and every day—the unbelievers we work with, who live next door, who come into our lives.

Even the small things we do to minis-ter while living our lives can show love to those the lord brings across our path. these are the things that impact and

transform culture little by little and one life at a time. Just like that jellyfish.

Strike the Original Match

8

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by Steve Callaway

On lifetrac.ca this mOnth: How to Overlook Offences By Robyn Roste

When the Bible isOffensive

When the Bible is Offensive continued from p. 9

The Bible is offensive! Come again, you say. If you, like I was, were a frequent Sunday school attendee in your formative years this state-ment may be shocking.

The Jesus I met there was a slightly effemi-nate blonde flannelgraph figure who spent His spare time hosting hilltop luncheons, burping babies, calming storms, and handing out healing and happiness like lollipops all the while emitting a strange radioactive glow.

But all this changed when I read through the Bible for myself.

While Scripture does paint a picture of Je-sus as meek and mild, we also get a glimpse of an edgy, gritty, and yes, offensive Jesus. A Jesus who resembles a cage fighter more than an Oompa Loompa. This Jesus called re-ligious people dogs, snakes, and hypocrites. He cursed fig trees, and instructed people to pluck out their eyes and cut off their hands if they couldn’t control them. He told crowds of people to eat His flesh and drink His blood, and seemed fairly set on the idea that those who reject Him will suffer eternal conscious torment in hell.

Offended yet? Wait. I’m not finished.The oppression of women is depicted from

Genesis to Revelation. In Leviticus, God’s people slice up animals by the cattle car then sacrifice them. Genocide shows up in Joshua, followed by corporal punishment, rules upon rules, and graphic violence. It culminates in Revelation when all hell breaks loose—liter-ally—and God rains down plagues and disas-ters and starts tossing unrepentant sinners into the lake of fire.

Are we on the same page now? Good! Which leads me to the question we’re all ask-ing: What do I do when the Bible offends me?

Here are a few tips that may be helpful:

Consider the possibility that the Bible isn’t saying what you think it is.

Take a deep breath. That troubling passage

might not be as bothersome if you do a little research. For example, slavery in the biblical context was indentured servanthood—noth-ing like the racially oppressive slavery that existed in early America. If we feel offended because the Bible doesn’t seem to condemn slavery, we must understand, as the biblical writers did, that the practice of slavery in the ancient Near East wasn’t so broken that it couldn’t be transformed by the power of the Gospel.

Remember, you are a product of your culture.

If God stands over and above culture, then His words will contradict every culture at some point. In the West we tend to view the Bible’s sexual ethic as narrow and restrictive but we’re big fans of its emphasis on grace and love. But visit Saudi Arabia—where an-kles are intolerably promiscuous and the idea of a gracious and loving God is absurd—and the model is flipped. When the Bible offends you, stop and ask, “Where are my heart and mind better informed by my culture than by this book?”

Take a close look at your heart.I’m a sinner. The Bible tells me “The

heart is deceitful above all things, and des-perately wicked: who can know it?” (Jer.17:9 KJV). So often the offended party within us is really the sin so deeply enmeshed in our hearts. If God lives in us, we are no lon-ger in slavery to sin, but sin still informs our thoughts and desires. So examine yourself and ask God to reveal the areas where your heart resists His word.

Don’t ignore the fact that you are offended.

That’s right. Allow the Bible to offend you. If Scripture throws you an uppercut, take it square on the jaw. Let the offence sink in.

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Steve Callaway is a recent graduate of Prairie Bible College and currently works at a honey farm in Three Hills, Alberta as he looks towards furthering his education.

Then ask yourself: “Why am I offended?” God can use this process to transform you.

Emile Cailliet was an agnostic and intel-lectual, who came to a crisis of belief during World War I. A Bible found its way into Cail-liet’s hands and when he began to read it he was so shocked at the way Scripture spoke into his broken condition he began to call the Bible, “the book that understands me.”

Are we, like Cailliet, allowing God’s word to understand and critique us, or have we, in our quest to understand the Bible, appoint-ed ourselves judge over it?

Remember the greatest offence of all: the cross.

That emblem of suffering and shame, the most repulsive, toxic, and offensive event in history resulted in the greatest of all possible goods. When the Bible offends you remem-ber the offence, which transforms you. Cling to the knowledge that God would rather of-fend you than leave you in slavery to your sin and shame.

When the Bible offends you, remember the cross.

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Download this challenging message today at lifetrac.ca

Clothing may polish the image, but it doesn’t polish the character. You’ve heard the state-ment “You never have a second chance to make a first impression,” but does how you dress have anything to do with the inside? How do you polish that?

Listen online anytime at lifetrac.ca

Clothes Don’t Make the Man

Cultural Etiquette - In Canada, where etiquette is taken more seriously than in the United States, it is still important to shake hands and make eye contact when introducing yourself for the first time. If this doesn’t happen it’s seen as a slight offence.

by Scott Tolhurst

Parenting is a crash course in cross-cultural communica-tion. if you want to communi-

cate across the barriers of language, age, or context, don’t take a semi-nar—have a child!

Quickly, after children make their entrance, parents know what they want by deciphering the code of gur-gles and coos. a novice might think translation becomes easier as our children grow, but then we enter the pre-teen and teen years. Parents pick up on cryptic phrases and become familiar with hip talk. Be warned: knowing hip talk does not (as every teen will attest) make parents hip. We may understand the culture but not be part of it!

You get my point. university may grant you a degree in communi-cation, but being a parent grants

How to Cross

CoMMunICATIon

BArrIers12

Stro

ng F

amil

y

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you the street smarts of building cultural bridges. so, what if the same foundations we discover in our home can form prin-ciples for communicating outside the home? Every believer faces the challenge of presenting unchanging truth to a cul-ture that morphs every 15 minutes. We are to convey Christ across the canyons of age, nationality, language, gender, cul-tural bias and spiritual blindness. there is no doubt the truth of Jesus can transcend every canyon, but are we equipped to carry him well? Perhaps our parental experi-ence can equip us to effectively acquaint our surrounding culture with the Gospel. how? Consider these principles:

Look for poInts of connectIon.Every parent has uttered the phrase, “When i was your age....” Despite the rolled eyeballs from our teens, the words attempt to create common ground for con-versation. the same holds true in speak-ing Jesus with our neighbours. there is common ground between us. to bridge a cultural divide, look for common territory. Remember a bridge touches both sides.

say What needs to Be saId. hear What needs to Be heard.Parents learn early—if they speak only what children want to hear important stuff gets left out. Our message may not always be their choice but it is their need. so too we can be confident in the Gospel message we convey. it is a Word of rescue and hope even if it is not embraced quickly. speak with authority, but an authority wrapped in the gentleness of listening. Parents find more of their message is heard when they do some of the listening. Evangelists find the same.

don’t just speak—expLaIn.When my children didn’t get what i said to them i just said it louder. it didn’t work. i found that i needed to use more words and perhaps different words, and not just in language familiar to me. it took more time, but it achieved more. When we present truth to our friends, we ought to re-shape Christian speech into verbs and nouns, which carry meaning instead of clichés.

don’t say everythIng.Moms know the wisdom of sparse lan-guage. they don’t have to tell a toddler about the chemistry of combustion to warn about matches. When we carry the Gospel, we tend to bring a wheelbarrow. We dump all of it at the feet of our friends and think we have been effective by our exhaustive presentation. it may be that a little goes a long way when targeted to spe-cific needs.

Make sure your LIfe Is connected to your LIps.With my kids it didn’t matter what lan-guage i used, how gentle my tone, or how witty my lecture. if my life contradicted my lips, everything was undone. there is no greater way to blow up a cross-cultural bridge than to dynamite it with hypocrisy.

how do i speak Jesus to the different sounds, looks, and behaviour of the cul-tures around me? Good parenting can instruct us. the home is training for our larger world. You may say that bridging barriers within the home is easier because of our love for family. i agree. love is the motive and means. so, what if we loved the unsaved more? it can only help.

Scott Tolhurst is pastor of Richmond Bethel MB Church, Richmond, BC.

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Laug

hin

g M

atte

rs

at 5:30 one morning, Jim, Jean, and their three children were sound asleep inside their home on a peaceful resi-dential street in salem, Oregon. their eldest son had just poured himself a drink in the kitchen before heading back to bed.

On a nearby hillside, the Curly’s Dairy guy rolled his van to a stop for a routine delivery. But when he returned, his mouth dropped open in horror as the van took a turn for the worse. Down the hill it went, backwards and gath-ering speed. the van jumped a few curbs and took out a maple tree. it flattened some shrubs and toppled a picket fence. Finally, it levelled the southworths’ front porch and crashed to a halt in their darkened kitchen.

“it was like a bomb went off,” recalls Jim, a dentist. When his wife Jean saw the mess, she did what any homemaker would do: she cried over a spilt milk truck. But when she saw the slogan on the van staring out at her from the ruins of her kitchen, the tears vanished. “here Comes Curly,” it said. and Jean started to laugh.

When the dust settled, Jim talked Curly’s out of three gallons of ice cream, though he said he would have pre-ferred a year’s worth of milk. Jean wasn’t so sure she wanted Curly’s delivering anything to her house ever again. after all, the front porch was totalled. the eating nook was toast. and the front door? Well . . . no one quite knew where it was.

insurance covered the $15,000 damage, and Jim and Jean decided the time was right to do a little renovation. “Our remodeller said we saved on demolition costs,” laughs Jean, “although they don’t normally use Curly’s for that. We’re wondering about the poor driver. he’s prob-ably in therapy. We hear that salem customers cower in mock terror at approaching dairy trucks.”

When the renovations were complete, Jim and Jean de-cided to throw a party to celebrate the closing of an open

I wish you could meet Jim and Jean southworth. they’re my kind of people. No one understands better than the south-worths that no matter how tough things get there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Even if it’s coming from the headlights of a truck.

by Phil Callaway

15

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See enclosed form for ordering information

Phil Callaway is the author of To Be Perfectly Honest. Visit him at laughagain.org

house. First they convinced Curly’s Dairy to park a truck out front. a handmade sign instructed the driver where to park: “Please park iN FRONt of the house not iNsiDE the house.” in the flower beds, another sign read, “Danger. Runaway truck zone.” through the truck window a Curly’s manager served up eight flavours of ice cream. and in the kitchen 67 guests

gathered to browse through the accident photos.

“When we first heard the crash and saw the crumpled walls of our house that morning,” says Jean, “we thought this was the end for all of us. But once we realized we’d only been smashed into by a delivery truck, we calmed down. Our entryway and kitchen nook were destroyed, but our kids were OK. that’s what matters. Besides, what good would getting upset do?”

Did they consider a lawsuit? “Never,” says Jean. “But we were surprised at how many wanted us to. it was fun seeing our

story on the front page of the newspaper, but we were left wondering why our reac-tion was considered so unusual as to be newsworthy at all. that’s the way it’s sup-posed to be, isn’t it? after all, we’re Chris-tians. We’re supposed to practise love and forgiveness.”

Nowadays people in salem call Jean “the ice cream lady,” but she doesn’t mind. “Pulitzer prize winners know what the first line will be in their obituaries,”

she smiles. “at my funeral i’m sure somebody will say something about the day we got creamed by a dairy truck.”

For the southworth’s, life is a look-ing glass. Frown into it and it will frown back at you. laugh with it and you will find it a kindly companion.

they believe when we live life with thanks-giving, people outside—and inside—the Church will notice.

“No matter what happens to us there’s always something to be thankful for,” says Jean. “in our case, God protected us. the Curly’s truck could have easily come into our bedroom instead of the kitchen that morn-ing. Besides,” she laughs, “My husband is a dentist, he’s used to filling cavities.”

discover insights into first-century life and the meanings behind significant biblical practices and illustrations. Arranged by Bible book and verse, this resource makes it easy to deepen your understand-ing of God’s Word.

Insight’s Handbook of NEW TESTAMENT BACKGROUNDS

“When we live life with thanksgiving, people outside—and inside—the Church will noTICe.”

16

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FORGIVENESS

There are Times i wonder if i really understand forgiveness and times where i know i don’t. For the most part i can tell someone who has done me wrong “i forgive you,” and really mean it. where i have trouble is when that person has wronged someone i love.

how do i forgive those who walk out on their families? and those people who hurt defenceless children? and what about those who talk maliciously behind others’ backs? how am i supposed to just let that go?

i know the Bible says keep no record of wrongs, and that revenge is for the Lord alone, but it’s really hard to forget about the bad things people have done. and what about the bad things i’ve done? i know i deserve death for the sins i’ve committed—how can God possibly forgive me for all the times i’ve rejected him? and how can i live in that forgiveness when i can’t forget the things i’ve done?

“i can’t forget it

happened.”

FORGIVENESS

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our ProBLem — We live in a fallen world. With the introduction of sin our rela-tionship with God was broken. A sin nature now in all of us means relationships are frag-ile and easily destroyed. Sinful acts, attitudes, and even just regular events of life can be catalysts for offences requiring forgiveness.

God’s answers — God tells us to for-give as He has forgiven us (Eph. 4:32). Before seeking to forgive others, reflect on God’s for-giveness of you (Rom. 5:8). To forgive like God means to forgive: 1. Completely (Matt. 18:27). To forgive means

to cancel a debt. Something owed is not owed any more. Once cancelled the right to seek repayment is given up.

2. Repeatedly (Luke 17:4; Matt. 18:21-22). Just as we continue to sin but God continues to forgive us, there is no point at which our sin becomes unforgivable. We must con-tinue to choose to forgive.

3. Sacrificially (John 3:16). Forgiveness is costly. Somebody must pay. When we for-give as God forgives and let the offender off the hook, we may have to suffer for the cause of following Christ’s example.

4. With a view to reconciliation (Hos. 2:14-15, 11:8; Rom. 12:17-21). Just as God not only forgave our sin but reconciled us to Him-self and restored the relationship when we repented, so the end in view is not just forgiveness of the offender, but reconcilia-tion and restoration when they repent.

The soLuTion 1. “Above all, keep fervent in your love for

one another, because love covers a mul-titude of sins“(1 Pet. 4:8). At the root of

all forgiveness is love. Many day-to-day offences can and should be overlooked easily. But if the offence is too big to over-look then deliberate action is needed.

2. Resist the desire for revenge. Let go of the need to see the offender punished. Re-lease your desire for revenge to the Lord (Rom. 12:19).

3. Forgiveness is a choice. It is a deliberate act of your will not based on feelings. Feelings follow choices. Therefore we must decide and choose to release, let go of, and cancel the debt or offence against us.

4. Keep choosing to forgive. From time to time things will trigger the memory of the offence. We may be tempted to revisit and dwell on it. At that point we must remind ourselves that we forgave the of-fence already.

5. We can forgive and be emotionally healed from the hurt. In order for there to be emotional healing we must continue to forgive (as in #4), and commit to not al-lowing ourselves to dwell on the offence, talk about it with others, or allow others to bring it up to us. Only as we do this for a long enough period of time will we ex-perience emotional healing where we no longer feel our stomach churn when we remember the offence.

by Insight for Living Canada

“With the introduction of sin our relationship with God was broken. A sin nature now in all of us means relationships are fragile and easily destroyed. ”

2319

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To become a Monthly Partner, call 1.800.663.7639 or sign up online at insightforliving.ca/monthly-partners