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Bethlehem (4/20/15) A fantasy in Judea By Julián Mesri Characters Beulah (Bule) – co-owner of the inn Ednah (Eddie) – co-owner of the inn Zilpah (Zilpy) – Essene Peleg (Pell) – The tax collector Sergius (Serge) – Roman Census taker Dinah – Samaritan Prostitute Setting: A small inn, the only inn, in Bethlehem, a town that is out of the way, on the eve of the Roman census. We are in the reception room. Which has a front desk complete with a little tree and presents. Outside of the reception room is the desert. There is a manger completely offstage ACT 1 IO SATURNALA (Ensemble) Everybody loves Saturnalia. What isn’t there to love? We’ve got masters serving slaves With little gifts and trinkets, And gambling it pays. Everybody loves Saturnalia. What isn’t there to love? A Roman holiday even Jews can celebrate. With masters serving slaves. With little gifts and trinkets. And everyone gets laid. Io io io saturnalia. Io io io. Io io io saturnalia. Io io io. Everybody loves Saturnalia. But we forgot who it’s for.

Bethlehem 4/17 J. Mesri

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(Sergius) The God, he’s one of many. He gave us agriculture (Ensemble) And for that we are glad. (Sergius) He gave us fields, And he never got mad. (Ensemble) Not like so many of our other Gods. Whose Gods are those, not mine. Io io io saturnalia. Io io io. Io io io saturnalia. (Peleg) I have one God. Just the one God. (Peleg and Beulah) I have one God. Just the one God. One God. But what the hell I also have Saturnalia. (Ensemble) Io io io saturnalia. Io io io. Io io io saturnalia. BEULAH Eddie. Eddie. EDNAH What? BEULAH What did you do, Eddie? EDNAH I didn’t do anything. BEULAH You did something, Eddie. You know what you did, Eddie.


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EDNAH Ohhh, you mean the manger? BEULAH Yeah. I happened to want to check on the two goats we have left, and what did I find in the manger. EDNAH Oh you mean – BEULAH Yes, Eddie. That’s what I mean. EDNAH Oh you know, they were looking for a place on account of it’s – BEULAH Eddie! EDNAH Oh, it’s nothing Bule. BEULAH Did you charge them? EDNAH I mean – BEULAH Did you charge them, Eddie? EDNAH It’s Saturnalia, Bule, how was I to charge them? BEULAH The same way you charge everyone else! How else do you expect us to stay in business? EDNAH Oh, Bule, I know, but I got into the holiday spirit. BEULAH Excuse me?


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EDNAH What’s the matter? BEULAH What did I tell you about keeping Roman holidays? EDNAH Oh, but it’s the only one, Bule. It’s such a fun one too. BEULAH What’s wrong with Hanukkah? EDNAH Hanukkah’s just to compete with Saturnalia. I don’t know, what’s so important about Hanukkah? BEULAH If we celebrated Hanukkah more often, you’d understand the value of Hanukkah. It’s about being warriors, and fighting to keep what’s yours. And being lazy is what got us into this whole mess with the Romans in the first place. EDNAH Eh, the Romans ain’t so bad. They’re good tippers. BEULAH They’re not the chosen people, Eddie. How many times do I have to tell you? And throw away that stupid tree. EDNAH Aw, but that’s my Saturnalia tree! BEULAH It smells awful. EDNAH Jeez, Bule, you’re in one of those moods today. BEULAH Just, I don’t know. Don’t leave without getting at least a goat from that couple. EDNAH Yeah, yeah, I’ll check on them later.


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BEULAH Good. EDNAH Hey, Bule. BEULAH What do you want? EDNAH I love you. BEULAH Yes. I love you too. EDNAH Hey Bule. BEULAH What? EDNAH Happy Saturnalia! BEULAH Oh please! (Beulah storms out) A LITTLE WHILE (Ednah) I know that she’s not friendly I know she’s seldom kind. But hey when I’m around her. I seldom seem to mind. But it would be, So great to see, Her look at me and smile. And every morning that I let her go, I see a bit of evening worries show, And I could be, so happy if She’d stay here for a while.


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Stay here for while. There’s so much left for us to live, So much for us to find. I don’t think we’ll be here for long. And when we leave, I don’t know if We’ll leave on the same road. So long. And every morning that we share is so Completely inconsequential but who cares, It’s all I need, to be happy. We’ll just be here for a while. Be here for a while. 2 Zilpah enters EDNAH Evening, Zilpy. ZILPAH Eh. EDNAH Yeah. ZILPAH Your manger’s full. EDNAH Yeah. ZILPAH Busy night, huh. EDNAH Pretty busy, doesn’t make Beulah any happier though. ZILPAH


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Oh, that girl. She’s been through a lot. It’s OK. Hey – do you have any figs? EDNAH Fresh out. ZILPAH Aw crud. I was hoping for a fig. EDNAH Eh, just joshing you. I never leave the orchard without a fig for Zilpah! ZILPAH Oh bless you. Bless you. That husband of mine. Such a good idea that. Go into the desert. And god knows what. But you always have a fig for me. EDNAH It’s a privilege to be an Essene, Zilpy. People look up to you guys. ZILPAH I miss the figs. EDNAH Yeah. ZILPAH Where we lived there was a fig tree. It ain’t the same since the Romans been coming around for good. That’s when my husband said, he’d had enough. Didn’t trust any of those Pharisees, or Sadduccees or what have you. And now I’m in the desert. I’m in the desert. And no figs. EDNAH Yeah. Fig season is here, though. And I’ll always have a fig for you, Zilpy. ZILPAH Where’s your other half? EDNAH Bule probably went to tend to the rooms. Full house tonight. ZILPAH Yeah, I heard. EDNAH


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Are you going to present yourself? ZILPAH For the census? Of course, are you kidding? Have you seen those spears? You don’t think the Romans come out to the desert? They go everywhere. They were up this morning handing my husband and my eldest the news. EDNAH More taxes then. ZILPAH More taxes. I just hope they don’t tax the figs. EDNAH Oh, they’ll tax them alright. ZILPAH’S TAX SONG (Zilpah and Ednah) There’s a tax for the temples, And we’ll pay it though we know that it’s corrupt But hey they’re religious so it’s cool. But the Romans when they tax us They go above the call of duty they tax The roads, bridges, theaters and then the emperor. There are tolls in the markets There are duties on the goods, There’s a toll on each death in every neighborhood. There’s even a tax for being alive, But the worst tax is the one yet to arrive. When Herod was around we thought man this is so rough But now he’s dead and Rome is back and everyone has had enough. And the second that we turn around to have a little meeting, Then the soldiers have one too and give us all quite the beating. And when they all retire they expect us to admire And in addition shell out some more cash, I would say to blame the Romans, But my tax collector’s Jewish so what gives? Who do we trash?


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(Ednah + Beulah) There are tolls in the markets, There are duties on the goods, There’s a toll on each death in every neighborhood. There’s even a tax that’s yet to arrive. But the worst tax is just being alive. ZILPAH Bah. EDNAH You know it, Zilpy. I don’t know what’s going to happen – you know Bule, she’s been talking up a storm about it, and I don’t know she’s been thinking of – ZILPAH No. EDNAH Yeah. Keeps talking on about how the Maccabees, would have gotten it right but it was just bad luck. ZILPAH Well, you can’t stop some people. EDNAH But I don’t know, I don’t mind the Romans so much. But Bule, she’s convinced that in a few years it’ll all – oh god, I don’t know, it’s too much to think sometimes. ZILPAH Sometimes you have to ask yourself Eddie – do I want to do something important which means risking everything for a very very very small chance at not even happiness, but I guess importance. Or, do you want to give up on the important stuff, and just have a fig and see how it goes? EDNAH There’s nothing wrong with seeing how it goes. I like seeing how it goes. It gets you nowhere, but you learn a lot on the process. ZILPAH Oh, before I forget. EDNAH


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What is it, Zilpy? ZILPAH Io Saturnalia! Zilpah pulls out a lovely star and places it on the tree EDNAH Oh, Zilpy, it’s beautiful. ZILPAH Me and the youngest made a bunch of Saturnalia ornaments. My husband can’t stand it, but I tell him there’s no afterlife, so who cares. And he just shrugs and goes back to praying. EDNAH Oh, Zilpy, you know the true meaning of Saturnalia. Peleg enters carrying a sack of money. He is the tax collector. He sings from afar. LOOK AT ALL THOSE PEOPLE (Peleg) Look at all those people, Singing songs under the Saturn tree. Someone brings some good news, And a delicious meal, quite possibly. Tell me do I want to fear them? Tell me do I want to hurt them? Tell me how much do I have to charge them? Or do I want to see them smile? Do I want to see them smile? There’s nothing like a good ring On a finger made for showing off. There’s nothing like a real house, In a town where caves are considered nice. Tell me do I want to fear them? Tell me do I want to hurt them? Tell me how much do I have to charge them? Or do I want to see them smile? Do I want to see them smile?


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It’s the only way to make a living. The Bible says, as long as I’m faithful. To all the Laws, our dear Lord taught me. I don’t have to see them smile. Still I want to see them smile. Still I want to see them smile at me. Scene 4 Peleg enters PELEG Yes, I’m here. EDNAH Io Saturnalia Peleg! PELEG Really? EDNAH Of course! PELEG Oh. I’m so sorry, Ednah. You know what I’m here for. EDNAH Of course I do, Peleg. PELEG Evening, Zilpah. ZILPAH Ah, put a fig in it, Peleg. I don’t need your charity. PELEG I wasn’t planning on giving you any. EDNAH Are you having a good Saturnalia, Peleg? PELEG As good as one can have being cursed every time one walks into a room.


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EDNAH No curses here, Peleg. We don’t want anymore demons around here. PELEG Of course not. That’s a pretty star on your Saturnalia tree. EDNAH It’s Zilpy’s she’s a genius with the rags. PELEG My little girl doesn’t have one of those, she’s been asking me for a Saturnalia star for days. ZILPAH Well you’ll have to pry it from my cold dead hands. PELEG Knowing you it’ll be soon. You Essenes don’t understand what exposure does to someone. Get a house! ZILPAH Get a conscience, traitor. PELEG See what I mean, Ednah? IGNORE (PELEG and EDNAH) (Ednah) You don’t have to listen to every little thing that they tell you. Even if it’s something you needed to hear. Sometimes it’s not what we hear but what we do, About what we hear. Sometimes it’s not what we do, But how we ignore, what we don’t what we can’t we just absolutely– Ignore. Ignore yourself, and tell me how it feels. To not be there, to not even be alone. Sometimes it’s nice, to be the kind of person who can just Disappear. Sometimes people get mad at you and they will then try to hurt you.


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Usually it’s not your fault. Sometimes they’re mad because there’s no more rooms, But what can I do? Sometimes their mad cause their quality of life’s so poor, But I just ignore. Just trust yourself, never tell them how you feel. Just look straight on. Look them in the spot between the eyes. And be the kind of person who can just Disappear. (Peleg) In the night, in the night I am so lonely tonight. But it’s better, than feeling guilty, Or stupid, or better yet dead. (Peleg + Ednah) So ignore them all. Who cares about how they feel. Just trust yourself. To let God shoulder the rest. Sometimes you need to be the kind of person. Sometimes we need to be the kindest person, Other times we need to be the kind of person Who can just disappear. ZILPAH I still think tax collectors deserve an afterlife, just so they don’t have to suffer the relief of death. EDNAH A relief, Zilpy? ZILPAH Oh yes, I can’t wait. I don’t understand how the Pharisees. Do it. Let me die, and lord, do it soon. PELEG If you keep skipping on your taxes, the Romans might do it for you, Zilpy. ZILPAH


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Property tax on a hovel? PELEG Even if you have a towel that you lay on for a few hours a day it counts. EDNAH Remember, Peleg – PELEG Right, I’ll. Ok. Hey, do you know if Dinah’s in? EDNAH Is she ever! Saturnalia is busy season. Ah, why the long face? PELEG Oh nothing. I just – I was hoping to see her before I go. EDNAH Well, like I said, get in line. She’s entertaining the census taker now, it’ll be awhile. PELEG Oh, he’s here? EDNAH Yes. ZILPAH Come to pick what’s left of our bones? EDNAH Apparently there’s been a population increase in Bethlehem. PELEG But I thought Moshe died last month. EDNAH Yes, but Miriam had twins. ZILPAH Kids these days, they never know when to stop. PELEG


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Ah, go scream it to the desert, Zilpy. EDNAH Anyway, you’re probably going to want to take a seat, this census taker likes to take his time, with everything.

Peleg sits, dejected. Beulah comes in. BEULAH Eddie, a word! EDNAH Coming, Bule.

Eddie leaves, Peleg sits dejected. ZILPAH You love her don’t you. MY FAVORITE SAMARITAN (Peleg) I know we’re not supposed to like them and I don’t. Except for one. I didn’t even learn her name, until I saw the bill. My favorite samaritan. It’s not the kind of thing, I willingly confess. Sometimes we just talk. And don’t even undress. But I don’t mind She’s my favorite samaritan. Will there be a time, Where I don’t have to mind the wait. And wonder what heathens do to her. Will I get another hour, Before the conscience it turns sour. And my guilt it overtakes. I know my wife is lovely, my kids they are a blast, What can I do. I find it hard to stand, A week without


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My favorite samaritan. And I know my God is angry, My god is probably incensed. And nothing else makes sense. Except my favorite Samaritan. ZILPAH You know what I think, Peleg? PELEG No. And I don’t want to know. ZILPAH I think you’re just lazy. You should just admit it. You’re lazy. PELEG What? ZILPAH Yeah, you want everything without the work involved. You pay someone else to do the work. Just like your favorite samaritan, who hasn’t stopped since dusk. PELEG As opposed to you who I always see in here bickering at people and eating figs? ZILPAH You know how hard it is to grow things in the desert? I’m up early in the morning so my husband can pray, and not starve. And that’s all I do. Work. And what does he do? Pray. And then my eldest he goes and prays with him. I tell him help momma with some of the grain, go into town for momma, but he just goes and prays, just like his father. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of praying. And what do I do? I get only the late hours of the day to myself, and to curb my insomnia I come here and keep my friends some company. While you go, and spend all day getting people’s earnings and then coming here and spending it on someone else to do the work for you. Merry times, that. PELEG It’s love, not work. ZILPAH Yes. You pay so you can enjoy all the love without the work requires. PELEG


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Go join those crazy Galileans if being in the desert is too hard for you, Zilpah. WHOS COMING (Zilpah) I’m sick of praying for a god that doesn’t come. And I don’t care who hears it. It’s so clear the Romans won. So what do our chosen people do. Just pray some more, and fight over what Happens when you die? I don’t care if I don’t wake up. I don’t care if there’s a whole other lie to believe, On the other side. When we’re all losing. We’ll make up anything, To convince us that we’re actually Ahead. PELEG You Essenes and your crazy ideas. ZILPY Nah, that’s just me, Peleg. Tired old me. PELEG I wonder what’s taking her so long. ZILPAH Do you want a list?

On the other side of the stage, Ednah and Beulah are in a fight BEULAH Unacceptable. Next time I see her here, I’ll take her out myself. EDNAH She’s part of the family. BEULAH And cavorting with that rancid tax collector. You know he’s just here for that poor girl.


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EDNAH Yes. And we have to pay him. BEULAH Yes, he gets spared because at least we worship the same God. But I can’t believe you let the census taker in here. EDNAH What did you expect me to do? Kill him? BEULAH A much better idea. EDNAH I didn’t know killing Romans was what inn keepers did, Beulah. BEULAH It’s what the chosen people, do, Ednah. To the occupiers. EDNAH Oh Bule, this is Bethlehem, no one cares enough about Bethlehem enough to occupy it. You pass through it and shake it around a bit. BEULAH What better way to put us on the map. EDNAH Yes. You know what the Romans do to enemies of the state? BEULAH Obviously. Don’t you remember that gang that passed through here, last time? EDNAH Yes. I remember them on the cross. I don’t like the smell of rotting human flesh in my town, Beulah. Stop it. BEULAH Not a bad way to die though, with everyone seeing you. I feel it’ll backfire on them eventually, all that free publicity. EDNAH Can you stop talking crazy and just be here with me for a second. For a while? We get such little time together.


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BEULAH The leader of that gang, his name was Levi. We lived next to each other. I grew up. And thought he’d do great things. EDNAH No one does anything great in Bethlehem, Bule. BEULAH But he tried, didn’t he, he tried. EDNAH He tried, and now he’s dead. BEULAH But we know he’s dead. We know it. All of us. LEVI THE JEW (Beulah) I knew, him when he was just a boy. Just a little bit annoying He would always look the other way, When we all went out to play. Looking out towards a distant land. He was looking ahead. You know, there’s not much to being here. But God, he’s promised us such glory, And Levi saw another way. When he grew up grabbed some friends, Planned a raid, and planned to make a change. He stored the weapons in a cave, He gathered all the conspirators. They waited for his order to them all: And he said ‘by this time tomorrow’ There’ll be Roman blood to clean. Leave it on the sand so it will all be seen. How the people who you’ve conquered, Will never let you sleep. How the people who you’ve stepped on, Will one day watch you weep. Yes, they caught him as he left the cave.


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Yes, the rest now sleep in shallow graves. But Levi was the special one. Put him on a cross that day. And though his bones have never found their rest – There’s never a tomorrow, That this village doesn’t think. Levi did his best, and now it’s all been seen. How the people who are conquered, Will never get much sleep. Knowing Levi’s battle’s not won. A promise still to keep. EDNAH Please don’t do anything brash, Bule. BEULAH Don’t tell me what to do. First you put people in the manger so I have to go rushing to get the weapons out. Now I’m keeping them in poor old Pinchas’ room. The man has gout so it’s not like he’s going anywhere, still I hate for other people to know. EDNAH They seemed like perfectly nice people. BEULAH Except for the lady, she’s a Nazarene. I don’t trust them. EDNAH What’s wrong with Nazarenes? BEULAH All high and mighty they are. Hell if I’m going to let a Nazarene rat me out to the Roman guards. EDNAH She’s pregnant Bule, and from what I saw she was about to burst. BEULAH Oh, Eddie, can’t you see it doesn’t matter? Can’t you see that’s not what matters right now? EDNAH I wasn’t going to let someone pregnant stay the night?


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BEULAH It’s fine, but it’s not what matters. EDNAH What matters then? BEULAH You know what matters. There’s only one thing that matters Eddie. EDNAH Oh Bule. You know we can’t – you know I can’t. BEULAH It will happen. It will happen tonight. EDNAH No, Bule. Please, not tonight, not on Saturnalia. BEULAH Can’t you see it’s perfect? The census taker is in our inn, Eddie. That’s the most powerful Roman since…powerful enough to start a war. EDNAH No Bule, please. BEULAH It’ll be so easy too. EDNAH Bule. Why isn’t this enough? BEULAH Because Eddie, we aren’t free. EDNAH But we have what we need don’t we? Don’t we? BEULAH We have what we need, but it’s not enough. EDNAH Well then what, Bule? What else do we need if not each other?


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DO IT WITHOUT YOU (BEULAH) I’m not going to let them tell me what it is I have to do, But it seems I’m going to have to Do it without you. Baby don’t you understand, There’s an occupation in our holy land. And the only solution, Is that damn revolution. I’ve waited all my life for this. But with you in the middle, I think it can’t exist. I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. I’m gonna start something, and you better move. I’m gonna watch them burn, if it’s the last thing that I do. But it seems that I’ll be watching Them burning without you. When history is in your home, You don’t look back, You grab a sharpened stone. And close your eyes tightly. Time is divine and this evening it’s mine. And yes, baby I love you too. But love’s not going to be what pulls us through. So kiss me again but do it just this once. Cause there’ll be no kissing when the fighting is done. There’ll be no kissing when the fighting is done. EDNAH Oh, Bule. You know I can’t stay mad at you. BEULAH It’s not about us Eddie, not anymore. A commotion is heard offstage. Something like singing. BEULAH It’s them! Here’s my chance!


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EDNAH Please be careful hon. BEULAH It’s not about being careful anymore. Kisses her goodbye and disappears. EDNAH Love you… (sighs) Better go see what all this commotion is about.

Ednah walks to the front of the inn. Zilpah is consoling Peleg with his head in his hands.

ZILPAH There, there. Just warning you, you’re not going to want to open your eyes for a while. PELEG Is it her? ZILPAH Shhh. It’ll be your turn soon. The census taker enters. ALL ABOUT ROME (Sergius) Let me tell you about Rome, It’s a beautiful place to stay. The aqueducts have made the city Fruitful every day. The streets are quite a sight, To witness all the plights Of all those unlucky plebeians, Working for a chance – To be the ones who get picked first for the dance. Hopefully a senator, Or maybe a patrician sir, But the very best thing about Rome, Is what keeps me up at night, The girls, from all over. The brothels overflowing.


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I wanna tell you all about Rome. But for now I should be going. Dinah enters. She is a Samaritan whore. DINAH Mi amor, que esperas? SERGIUS Nada, nada. Nomás contando. Siempre contando. DINAH Que paremos de contar. SERGIUS Nunca se para de contar. Me falta contar esos pocos que quedan aquí y ya nos vamos. ZILPY Well, well, Dinah, that’s a lot of bags. Where you going? ALL ABOUT ROME (Dinah) Let me tell you about Rome. It’s a place I want to go. A place where a girl can follow all her dreams, Til they explode. And I don’t want to be here. A town without a road. I want to be a whore where whores are Wanted by the load. And when I finally step onto that beautiful Roman soil. My wretched past will help me find A steady job I hope it lasts. And some may say that Rome. Is the greatest den of sin, And I think that’s an excellent place for me to begin. DINAH Que pasa, mi amor? SERGIUS Calma. Hay que contar. Donde está mi tableta? ZILPAH


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I didn’t know you spoke Latin, Dinah. DINAH Only the vernacular. A whore needs latin to talk proper to soldiers. ZILPAH I could only imagine the vocabulary. PELEG Can I open my eyes? What are they saying? Why are they talking about Rome. I should open, right? ZILPAH Nah, shut them. It’s best to shut them. CLOSE YOUR EYES (Zilpah, Peleg) Close your eyes, nothing to see here. It’s going to be better this way. And no one is going to blame you For being afraid. No one is going to listen When some of them say you didn’t make an effort, When the hope began to fade. Close your eyes nothing to see here. (Peleg) If I close my eyes, will you tell me how it ends. Maybe it’s better if I just act like I’m dead. Or maybe I can hide til the morning turns red. And never waste a minute trying to defend. (Peleg and Zilpah) If I just close my eyes. Close my eyes. ZILPAH That’s it. DINAH Mi amor, es eso la tableta?


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SERGIUS Sí, sí. Pasamela, por favor. A ver. Bueno. Let’s see. What is your name miss? ZILPAH Zilpah. SERGIUS Place of birth. ZILPAH Bethlehem. SERGIUS Husband’s occupation? ZILPAH Loser. SERGIUS Excuse me? ZILPAH Well, I don’t know. What do you call endless praying? SERGIUS How do you get your money? ZILPAH Oh we get by. SERGIUS Enough to pay your taxes? ZILPAH I said we get by. And yes that includes your miserable taxes. SERGIUS Those taxes are what keep you safe and sound. You’re a member of the most powerful empire of the world, that isn’t little. ZILPAH Pah. I’d rather stay in the desert if it meant becoming Roman if I’m here.


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SERGIUS We are all Romans. Even you, the Jews. You’re just Romans and Jews. ZILPAH Which comes first, the Jew part or the Roman part? SERGIUS The Jew part. ZILPAH Eh, you can keep that part. Give it to my husband. Does the Roman part get any figs? EDNAH Oh, stop bothering the poor man. Is that everything Sergius? SERGIUS I think so. Oh, there’s the matter of this gentleman. DINAH Yo te puedo contar sobre el. SERGIUS Quién es, cliente tuyo? DINAH Sí. Un pobre enamorado. PELEG Would I could learn Latin! EDNAH No, I’d say about now, you wouldn’t. SERGIUS No sabe ese imbecil que uno no se debe enamorar de putas? DINAH Es siempre los que quieren hablarte. A veces prefiero que me follen bien rápido a que me den sus pobres monólogos. SERGIUS Que puta más acostumbrada.


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EDNAH Leaving so soon, Sergius? SERGIUS Oh yes, Sergius has big plans. DINAH Dinah does too. Big plans for Rome. SERGIUS Introducing: She-Wolf, the Samaritan Seductress. DINAH Rawr. SERGIUS La mujer-lobo. La Samaritana seductora. de todos los hombres Romanos. DINAH Part wolf, part woman, all sex. EDNAH Working on your act? PELEG I think it’s lovely. Growl again princess. ZILPY Keep your ears closed too. PELEG Oh, this is too much to bear. When will it be my turn? DINAH Va a tener que venir a Roma para poder charlotearme como antes. PELEG God, those dulcet Latin tones. I learn new things about her each day. Is it my turn, my sweet. SERGIUS Realmente lo debería contar a ese pobre antes que me vaya.


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DINAH Esta bien. Pero por favor no demores. Que ya me veo en ese burdel cubierto de seda y rosas. SERGIUS Pronto serás. PRONTO SERÁS Pronto serás. La mujer lobo. La mujer que todos quieren más. Ellos pagan. Lo que tienen. Para verte, todo lo que dan. Pero nadie te lo va a dar. Nadie te lo va a dar. Gratis ni por menos. Y cuando te besan. Nunca en la boca. Siempre dejando que te quieran más. Y sin un centavo, No se toca. Se mira como si fueses una estatua más. Y nunca sabrás, lo que es el amor. Pero que carajo te va a importar. Si de dinero te vas a llenar. Quién carajo se necesita casar, Si el dinero es lo que me va a cuidar. Yo nunca voy a ser. Tu angel. Ni quiero ser tu amor. X2 Yo quiero ser mujer, Y para hacer eso, Tengo que perder. Hasta ganar. X2


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DINAH No doy más. Te espero afuera. Goodbye cruel Bethlehem. I’m glad to be rid of you. Hello Rome! She leaves EDNAH Oh no. We’ve lost one of our best tenants. I better tell Bule. PELEG Wait, going? Rome? Wait – Hold on! Peleg gets up and goes towards her ZILPY Hold it there, Peleg! SERGIUS Ah, Peleg is it? PELEG What’s it to you, get out of here, I need to save my love – SERGIUS It’s a lot to me. It’s a lot to Rome. PELEG Oh, I. Sorry, I – yes of course. To Rome. Which I serve to. I am the city’s tax-collector. SERGIUS Yes, I’m figuring. Early day? PELEG Families were a bit easier to find today on account of the um…holiday. SERGIUS Very well. I’ll believe it. And you’ve lived here all your life? PELEG Technically I’m from Bethany, but I’ve been registered here on account of the tax-collecting. Excuse me sir – is that, were you –


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SERGIUS Are you referring to the whore? PELEG Yes, Dinah. I do believe I was next in line. SERGIUS I do believe your Dinah has quit her job. EDNAH Has anyone seen Bule? Where has she run off to? Pinchas’s room is empty. PELEG But, there was a queue, man. We have to respect the queue. ZILPY Beats me. Keep an eye on that firecracker. SERGIUS I know that, Peleg. We invented the queue. We had to teach you savages how to wait in line. You don’t get to go to the front of the line just because God loves you more, you know. PELEG But, can’t I. I have the money, I can even pay double for my turn. SERGIUS Just find another whore. I’m sure they all have ears, Peleg. PELEG What, I – but, EDNAH Another whore in Bethlehem? We were lucky to have just the one. Oh God, Bule is going to be so pissed. PELEG She was mine. My samaritan. SERGIUS I believe Samaria is that way sir. And anyhow, she’s coming with me.


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PELEG You can’t just purchase her! SERGIUS Who said I purchased her? How dare you insinuate that. She’s hitching a ride to Rome. PELEG Oh no you don’t. You can’t take even that from me. Come on, you have so much. Let us have this, let us have our whore. EDNAH I mean, it would be nice, Sergius. SERGIUS Can’t you understand, I’m not taking her from you. She practically begged me to take her with me. What do you have for her here? Please. I wouldn’t even want to buy a whore from Bethlehem, now Samaria. Yes, there’s some exoticism there. PELEG No, it’s not fair. It’s not fair. Lunges towards Sergius SERGIUS Esta loco este chico? PELEG I hate your latin. I hate your face. I hate your soldiers. Die Roman scum! Sergius draws a dagger SERGIUS Now please don’t make me stab you. PELEG Do your worst. ZILPY I can’t look! Suddenly Bule comes in arrow in hand.


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BULE Die Roman Scum! Lets fly an arrow which hits Sergius in the leg. SERGIUS Que le pasa a esa gente! Porque me esta haciendo eso? BULE We speak Aramaic in this hotel. Now give me one good reason why I shouldn’t lodge this next arrow down your throat. PELEG Wow. Beulah. You’re – EDNAH Oh no you don’t. No you don’t. NOT IN MY INN. BULE. BEULAH NOT NOW EDNAH. I’M STARTING THE REVOLUTION. Ednah reaches over and grabs her own bow and points it at Beulah. EDNAH THEN YOU START THE REVOLUTION SOMEWHERE ELSE. BEULAH Please, honey. Can you put the bow down and move to the side? EDNAH No. IF YOU WANT TO START A REVOLUTION YOU START IT WITHOUT ME AND NOT IN MY INN. BEULAH I hate you. EDNAH Put the bow down, baby. PUT THE BOW DOWN/SATURNALIA REPRISE Put the bow down. Put the bow down baby.


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Put the bow down. We’re going to figure it out. Put the bow down (Everybody loves Saturnalia) Put the bow down. (Why can’t you love it too) The only Roman Holiday that jews can celebrate. So for the time being. We’re going to try to be friends. We have one God. They have too many Gods to count. We have one God. But they have the power, so we’ll have to deal with that. Io io io io Io io io io Io io io Saturnalia Io io io Put the bow down (Everybody loves Saturnalia) Put the bow down. (Why can’t you love it too) It’s the only Roman Holiday that jews can celebrate. So for the time being. We’re going to try to be friends. At least til this evening ends. BEULAH I hate you all. END OF ACT 1 Act 2 We are still in the hotel lobby. Sergius is tying up his bandaged leg. Peleg sleeps. Dinah glares at him. Ednah keeps watch with her bow. POMPEII My master was a simpler man.


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They called him Quintus Caecilius, And he knew everyone in the land. And everybody knew me. The weird little slave boy Whose joints had never formed fully. We lived in a Roman city, That wasn’t the most important one, But did it’s job quite faithfully. But then one day I woke up, And voice said if I didn’t leave, Something bad would happen to me. It told me: Oh don’t stay in Pompeii. Oh don’t stay in Pompeii. Take a chance, and be on your way. Caecilius saw the glint in my eye. He was getting old but still Could throw a discus better than you or I. He called me to the palestrina and said. Son you need to live your life, And if you stay here, you’ll be dead. He told me: Oh don’t stay in Pompeii. Oh don’t stay in Pompeii. Take a chance, and be on your way. I asked him what did he mean? He said you’re not made for slavery. And Clemens is plenty for my wife and me. My son is leaving as well. You should join him, Sergius, And we’ll see each other in Pluto my friend. We’ll see each other in Pluto. EDNAH Pompeii, huh? SERGIUS Yes. Me and uncle Clemens. He wasn’t a bad master. But Pompeii doesn’t hold a candle to Rome.


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ZILPAH And how you finding this little sandlot of Bethlehem? SERGIUS The least I can say about it the better. It seems that not a lot of people remain in this city. Almost everyone I’ve talked to is here because of me. You had to put someone in the manger? BEULAH That was Ednah’s bright idea. SERGIUS Well, a pregnant lady in the desert, you don’t want to leave her abandoned like that. You’ll get a sandy baby and that can be a whole other complication. BEULAH If there’s no vacancy, there’s no vacancy. It would have all worked out great. EDNAH You mean you would have been crucified for trying to rebel? SERGIUS Hey, no worries. I know what that’s like. I contemplated that in Pompeii a few times, me and Clemens had a few plans drawn up. Clemens still keeps that dagger under his pillow just in case Caecilius ever turns on him. ZILPY People aren’t just meant to lay around and be used by other people, but it’s what usually happens. DINAH At least I could get paid a living wage. Cuando vamos? SERGIUS No vamos a poder salir por lo menos hasta que se cure mi pierna. DINAH (to Peleg) This is all your fault. I’m stuck in Bethlehem just because you’re too scared to get a divorce and seek out your own happiness. ZILPY As if. There’s no such thing as divorce here, Dinah. Marriage is under god.


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DINAH Well in Samaria we divorce. Or rather, we do whatever we want. BEULAH Samaria’s no better than a bunch of no good savages. You might as well have brought that Golden Calf with you from the Sinai. DINAH There’s nothing wrong with idolatry. It’s certainly more fun to have a God you can put up on a mantle. At least it’s a lot easier to ask things from them. ZILPAH Oh if I could, I’d ask for something. DINAH I know what I’d ask for. DIVORCES (ZILPAH AND DINAH) Yo nunca quise, Ser prostituta. Pero tampoco pienso que es algo Tan Desesperado. Yo sólo quise. Ser mujer libre, Con lo que yo tenía Ni me alcanzaba para vivir. Y mi marido. Tan resentido, Ni me dejaba salir de casa Servia solo para concebir. Y tuve un divorcio. No me lo dieron Pero así lo llamo. Tuve divorcio. Y ahora seré Puta Romana. My husband told me, When he met my father, That he was such a lovely man,


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He’s sure he’d have a lovely daughter. He didn’t know me, He merely dreamed me, And when he opened me up, Found what he needed and didn’t even ask. Now 20 years later. I am a mother. But I feel less a wife, Then when I was told. That large shadow would be my love. Too late for divorces. Too wrong for the children. Too late for divorces. What would my God say. A LITTLE BIT (EDNAH and BEULAH) When I was young I was told that a girl. Was this and so many things. We were ribs, then we were criminals, For a fruit we didn’t know. And they say now our punishment, Stems from how many bites we took. We took the first, And so they threw the book. And what’s a man, but an accomplice That seems to get off scot free. Sure there’s pain but compared to childbirth, That’s a goddamn finder’s fee. And so no, I don’t think I want to be with him. I think she’ll do just fine, When it comes to sin – But a little bit of time. Takes a little bit of heart. And I’m going to find a way. To live together and not apart. And if you will try your best, You can also join me. I can’t even imagine it without you.


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If I loved you I’d never say no. I’d find a way to make – All the things that we’re trying to make work Work in every way. And when it all comes down, And impossible it seems – That’s when the hotel business Gives me the hope I need. But a little bit of time. Takes a little bit of heart. And I’m going to find a way. To live together and not apart. And if you will try your best, You can also join me. I can’t even imagine it without you. BEULAH So now what? EDNAH Be thankful that Sergius won’t report us. BEULAH You mean, we’re stuck with them all night? EDNAH Seems so. SERGIUS It’s Saturnalia, crazy things happen on Saturnalia. I remember the last Saturnalia in Pompeii, we spent the night with Caecilius and his wife, Metella serving us all manners of delicious foods. And then, after this delicious meal of boar and so much wine. Then, we even got to enjoy Caecilius and Metella. ZILPAH You mean – you? SERGIUS Oh yes. Tis the season. ZILPAH You Romans sure know how to live right.


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SERGIUS Well, I’m not technically a Roman. I’m a Briton. ZILPAH Ah, that explains your flair for language. SERGIUS I learned most of my Aramaic on the way over here. It’s a long way to Rome. DINAH I know. By the time I get there I won’t be worth half of what I’m worth now! SERGIUS You’ll be fine, Dinah. I know plenty of Patricians who would gladly pay quite a bit of gold to have you in their lectus. DINAH Why did I think Bethlehem was a good place to start? I thought start small. EDNAH It’s pretty darn small. BEULAH Not small enough that you Romans don’t have to inspect every little thing. SERGIUS Hey, it’s no different than anywhere else. You guys just have a reputation for being a bit more difficult than say, Gaul- EDNAH Golly, Gaul. SERGIUS I’ve never been, though every Roman who has talks about the food. And the wine. BEULAH So what, we’re supposed to just stay here? EDNAH I guess so.


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BEULAH Come on, let’s kill Sergius. EDNAH Not tonight. No one kills anyone tonight. It’s a special night. I’m sure there’ll be a revolution soon. SERGIUS Yeah, Rome doesn’t doubt it. Ever since Herod kicked the bucket, they’ve been saying that the Jews aren’t going to be ruled as easily. We’re biding our time. I mean, no offense, but we’d crush you. DINAH Hay, porque no los invaden y ya? SERGIUS Es mucho trabajo. Y hay otros lugares que invadir. No se si piensan que es tan valioso igual. No se, a tu te parece valioso todo eso? DINAH Dicen que Jerusalén es muy lindo. Pero si todo es desierto horrible como eso, yo ya estoy harto. Quiero árboles. ME IMAGINO (DINAH) Me imagino los árboles llenos de rosas, Y frutas malvadas, con hombres galanes. Me imagino el mundo sin almas tan torpes Peligroso y poco sencillo. Me imagino todo lo que puedo y lo hago Las horas que me paso de espaldas al mundo Encima de la cama todo nunca cambia. Es simple pero poco lindo. Porque la realidad es tan completamente insólita Y no cabe imaginación en un rincón Lleno de cansadas canciones. A un dios insomne. Me lo imagine todo hasta que un dia Apareció un Romano y todo prometía. Pero imagine todo demasiado bien, Porque los sueños nunca se cumplen.


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Imagino porque ya no da para sueños. Que me importa si Roma es fea o si esta Llena de esas mismas tristezas. Es algo que yo no conozco. Y por eso lo necesito. Aunque sea mi última cita. PELEG You’ve woken me with such a sweet song. DINAH Oh no. No. PELEG Please, love. Understand, I’ve been so lonely today without your voice. DINAH You haven’t paid me a cent today, why should I listen to you? PELEG Because you’re leaving forever. DINAH I’n sure Ednah and Beulah can find someone else to replace me. EDNAH Don’t be so sure, all we have is Zilpah over here. Most of these old shepherds and shepherdesses are leaving tomorrow. DINAH Parece que me necesitaban más que se pensaba. SERGIUS No sabes la suerte que tenían. En Roma serás una idola de los legionarios. DINAH Ay sí, eso espero! EDNAH Yeah, I don’t know what we’ll do without ya Dinah. DINAH


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There’s always someone confused enough to end up here. BEULAH Yes, but hopefully not the pregnant kind whose only use is taking up one of our mangers. Our best manger. EDNAH Our only manger. The truth is, we’re going broke. But then again, so is everyone in Bethlehem. At least if we starve we starve together. BEULAH Ain’t that the truth. STARVE TOGETHER (BEULAH, ZILPAH, EDNAH) If there’s no more grain to be sold And no ashes left to burn, It’s OK cause we’ll starve together. If there’s a famine that will claim All our kindred all the same, It’s OK cause we’ll die together. And maybe that’s all that we’ve got to hope for. Not even manna just an afterlife with friends. I hope the end isn’t as painful as the waiting. We’re waiting and we’re not sure if it’s for The beginning or the end. If there’s a grave to be bought, We will all save quite a lot. And it’s alright, if we’re buried together. In a Jewish cemetery, we will find that it will be, OK, even in bad weather. And maybe that’s all that we’ve got to hope for. Not even laughter just an afterlife with friends. I hope the end isn’t as painful as the waiting. We’re waiting and we’re not sure if it’s for The beginning or the end. SETTLE (PELEG) Will I settle down? After this is done.


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Will I find a way? When the time has passed. She’s no longer here. Will I still be afraid? Once, there was a time when I had lost you. When I told myself that I would be a family man - I tried to be the one who could be strong, But needing to be there, when you’re on call – Never have you been, Mother to my sin. I never said no. ZILPAH You’ll settle down and then you’ll see Peleg. You’ll see what’s left. And you know what, you’ll get used to it. My secret, choose an easier vice. People are hard. Figs, on the other hand, are soft and juicy. BEULAH I swear if you raid our fig-tree one more time – EDNAH No, Bule, that was me this time. BEULAH Are you going to break every single one of our rules? EDNAH I don’t know Bule. I look at these rules. I look at these things we agreed on and I think, well why did we make them? I don’t even remember. They served for something. I don’t know. We have so many rules. And all I really care about is not having too much sand in here. And not mixing sand in my food, which hurts my teeth. BEULAH We did it to figure out a way to make this work, Eddie. And you’ve forgotten that. Things don’t work. They don’t work with Rome, they don’t work with us. EDNAH No, they don’t.


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ZILPAH Hey, look, nothing works. SERGIUS Rome works pretty well. ZILPAH Yeah, and when your emperor dies? SERGIUS There’ll be another emperor. ZILPAH And then? SERGIUS Another. Another and another. ZILPAH Until the end of time? SERGIUS Yep. Rome is it. That’s it. NOCHE ROMANA (SERGIUS) No hay tiempo para más. No hay tiempo para más. Ya se viene la noche Romana. Y la noche no despierta. Porque la noche ya esta muerta. Ya se viene la noche sana. Porque Roma seguirá. Hasta que toda termina. Y quedara hasta que todo se arruina. No existe un calendario. Sin los Dioses Romanos. Y nunca habrá otro tiempo lejano. No existe un alfabeto. Sin la lingua franca mia. Y Roma será hasta que todo se somete.


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Y Roma será hasta que todo se somete. No hay tiempo para más. No hay tiempo para más. Ya se viene la noche Romana. EDNAH Rome. Rome. Rome. Always Rome. Well, good night everyone. Try to get some rest. And if anyone tries to leave, I’ll shoot you. ACT 3 It’s late now. Ednah is nowhere to be found. Peleg, Sergius, and Dinah are fast asleep. Zilpah tosses and turns. Beulah seems to be asleep but suddenly opens her eyes wide. She shuffles in the darkness until she’s standing over Sergius. She slowly unsheathes a dagger from under her robes. Brandishing the dagger she recites a short prayer. BEULAH He hath digged a pit, and hollowed it out, and is fallen into the ditch which he made. His mischief shall return upon his own head, and his violence shall come down upon his own pate. I will give thanks unto the Lord according to His righteousness; and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High. ZILPAH I wouldn’t do that if I were you. BEULAH What, what are you doing up? ZILPAH I’m up. I’m up. I’m always up. At my age I’m lucky if I sleep. BEULAH Well go back to sleep old woman. ZILPAH Who you callin’ old? Like I said, that’s a bad idea. BEULAH I don’t care about your thoughts on the matter.


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ZILPAH Isn’t there a commandment about this? A very specific one? BEULAH Sure. There are other commandments. Many which come before. Including no other Gods before me, and here we are celebrating Saturnalia like a bunch of heathens. ZILPAH There’s no commandment against some fun, Bule. BEULAH I can’t live this way. Knowing that these people who worship a lesser God, no not even God, Gods. Horrible, immature lesser Gods. Knowing those people are in charge of us. Knowing as long as those people are around we’re not free. ZILPAH But your’e not. We’re not. YOURE NOT FREE (ZILPAH) You’re not free. As much as you try. As much as you know that it’s the truth. We’re never free, but it’s OK. Just hide the chains, And look the other way. When you’re born. You’re a bundled mess of nerves and piss. And you can’t even exist Without your mother’s loving kiss. And when you’re getting What they call and education. You can’t even write your name Without mortification. And then there’s God. Who gifted us life, But now we owe him so much for that. And then there’s you, And then there’s me, And somewhere along the line, You’ll see - But throughout it all a sadder truth emerges.


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That we’re just a mix of shredded doubts and carnal urges. And if you think that you’ll be spared from that my friend – I’ve got a wonderful story to tell you about what happens at the end – We’re not free. Not even a bit. Because we exist, this is our plight. We’re never free, but it’s alright. If we spend our days, Looking the other way. BEULAH I’m not going to hold court with you about freedom, Zilpy. I know what freedom looks like, and it’s not Roman. ZILPAH Libertad. It’s a nice word in Roman. BEULAH Disgusting tongue. Maybe I’ll cut his tongue off first. ZILPAH Is this going to solve anything, really, Beulah? BEULAH Why are you so desperate to stop me? What do you care, nothing changes in the desert. ZILPAH Well, I’d rather not see you crucified, to be honest. Then who would grow the figs? And also I’d hate to see poor Ednah upset. BEULAH You care more about Ednah than me suffering? ZILPAH She’s a nice girl, Ednah. You should take care of her. You take care of each other. BEULAH We do, but that’s not the point. ZILPAH Look. I’m sure something’s going to happen soon. You can’t put people in a state of no control, tell them things are OK when they’re not, tax them to oblivion and then


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quietly wait for them to starve without something happening to interrupt that. But, I mean. Bule. That’s a lot. BEULAH It is a lot. ZILPAH What I mean, is when those aqueducts burst, I mean, that is a serious mess. And, I think in the end, it’ll probably be better. But, do you really want to be in the center of that mess? BEULAH I think I do. ZILPAH Because once you do, that’s it. Poof. That’s all you’ve lived for. That’s it. Your entire contribution to society down to one action, And it might not even be successful. BEULAH I don’t do it cause I want to be remembered. ZILPAH Sure you do, why else would you do something. BEULAH I do it because I believe in a new future. Because there is a new future. I know the water mains will burst but unless someone hits that loose pipe, nothing will burst, it will continue to almost burst until we die. And then what, we sit around waiting? Isn’t that what we’ve been doing all our lives? Is that what our lives will mean? A bunch of people who sat around waiting while the rest of the world went on around them. ZILPAH Sounds like a quiet, calm life. BEULAH Sounds like a wasted life. Maybe it won’t be a great single action, maybe it won’t make a difference, but it won’t be a wasted life. ZILPAH Please, reconsider. BEULAH No. Now it’s time.


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HOW ITS GOING TO END (Beulah) Waiting for the night, with a knife on my thigh. The coldness of the metal makes me shiver on high. How do I believe it’s gonna end for me? How do I believe it’s gonna end for me? All we need is moonlight and we’re right on time. A sliver on his neck, and the rest is all crime. How do I believe it’s gonna end for me? How do I believe it’s gonna end for me? Just one little knick on the right little vein, And his world will come to an end. Just a bit of luck, and the moment it came, Now I’m going to make it count, all the way. How do I believe it’s gonna end for me? How do I believe it’s gonna be for you and me? I know once I do it they’ll be calling for my head. And a cross will be to where I’m lead. I know once I do it I’ll be free from this world, And though I miss her, I am ready, I am sure. I know that tonight it’s gonna end for me. I know that tonight it’s gonna end, for you and me. Zilpah sees Beulah raise the knife ZILPAH That’s it, I’m going back to bed. PSALM 7:16 (Beulah) He hath digged a pit, and hollowed it out, and is fallen into the ditch which he made. His mischief shall return upon his own head, and his violence shall come down upon his own pate. I will give thanks unto the Lord according to His righteousness; and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High. Just as the knife is about to come down a piercing scream is heard from offstage. ZILPAH Wow. That Roman sure can scream. BEULAH What in the – what’s happening?


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We hear the scream. A powerful, femal scream, and slowly, Peleg wakes. PELEG What’s happening? BEULAH Well, someone’s ruining my cover. ZILPAH Oh, that poor woman. I hope someone’s helping her. PELEG Should we go see what the matter is? BEULAH Not at this hour. You don’t go outside at this hour Peleg, come on, Peleg, bandits, Peleg. Bandits. PELEG Right. It’s just gotten so late. My wife and children must be worried. BEULAH Right, because you neeeever do this. PELEG Only recently – it’s just, it’s Dinah… ZILPY Oh boy, I should have stayed asleep. The scream is heard again. PELEG (noticing Beulah’s knife) Wait, were you going to – BEULAH Shhhh. PELEG Wow. Beulah, Wow. BEULAH


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Yeah. PELEG You know they – BEULAH Yes, of course I do, shh. PELEG No, wait that’s an excellent idea. Then, Dinah stays with us. BEULAH I’m glad you agree. PELEG Give me the knife – BEULAH What? PELEG Give me the knife – BEULAH No! I have to do it, it’s my cross to bear – PELEG No fair! You had your turn. Let me have a go. Trust me, I have no shame, BEULAH It’s my idea, my murder. PELEG But you have no idea how easy it would come to me – LET ME (PELEG, BEULAH) I’ve had to pull coins from dead men’s eyes. And I’ve seen babies cry instead of sing. I’ve never been the same way since, I learned to value money more than sin. Guilt is the easiest of feelings to shake, Since it’s designed to be easily forgot. All you need to do is find another crime,


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Cause forgiveness is easily bought. So let me pull the trigger, Let me push the knife, I’m a man that delivers. Even if it means taking a life. One window left ajar, now clings deep to my heart now. That window left ajar, the window you could climb through. And when the wind is oh so windy you can’t even hear a thing, You won’t ever hear me coming, and it’s too late to start running. And I’ll be free. Oh I’ll be free. But cold feet means that I’ll be looking for an answer, When my true love appears, I guess I will romance her. But when my opportunity comes back to ring, You won’t ever hear me coming, and it’s too late to start running. And I’ll be free. Oh I’ll be free. But I never took the chance, when I had him there, Now the months feel like a century. But now a new centurion, is beneath my knife, And I won’t think twice, so now you gotta give it to me, And if you think I’m not serious, I’ll let you know my friend. I slaughter cattle on a regular basis. And this Roman scum isn’t even worth, The leather I could make – So let me pull the trigger, Let me push the knife, I’m the woman that delivers. Even if it means taking a life. So let us pull the trigger. Let us take the knife. We’re the people that deliver. And we’re gonna take this life. They hold the knife over Sergius’s neck – BEULAH Fine. We’ll do it on three. One.


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Two. Screams shatter the quiet silence. ZILPAH It’s the bandits, I tell you. It’s the bandits. PELEG I don’t know. Bandits don’t usually take so long. DINAH (waking sleepily) Llegamos a Roma todavía mi vida? PELEG Oh Dinah, my love! DINAH Ay no. She goes back to bed. PELEG No Dinah, please, wake up. Shakes her. DINAH What, what, what do you want? Honestly, what? PELEG I mean. Dinah. It’s… DINAH What is it? PELEG I’ve just been waiting all day to talk to you. DINAH You have, I know.


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PELEG And well. You’re my favorite Samaritan…. DINAH Cut the sweetness and give me the money and if you want to talk we’ll talk. Whatever. I’m on call. Talk to me. PELEG Oh, I didn’t mean to be put on the – DINAH Give me your money and talk to me. PELEG OK. OK. Um. Let me just get my pouch. DINAH Hurry up. PELEG Can’t I get a discount, on account that it’s your last day? DINAH Give me your money and talk to me, Peleg. PELEG Okay. Okay.

Peleg hands her some money. They stare at each other. Zilpah and Beulah watch from the sidelines, very interested.

DINAH Are you ready. Are you going to talk? HOW WAS YOUR DAY How was your day, are you going to tell me how hard that it is for you? Are you going to tell me how bad that you feel coming here. Or will you tell me your deepest fears? Well what will you say to me? You can say it quietly.


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I promise I won’t tell. Well, my day was grim, and sudden. Full of sand, and dirt and angry faces. Just like every other day I live. And it’s hard for me to see you. Cause my God says that it’s wrong. And he thinks that what your kind believes, Is another sinning see, I’m scared to be the person, I already seem to be. And so I come to you, Cause you understand, Just what it means to be – How was your day, are you going to tell me how hard that it is for you? Are you going to tell me how bad that you feel coming here. Or will you tell me your deepest fears? PELEG Didn’t I? DINAH Are you done? PELEG I guess – DINAH How do you feel? PELEG Better? DINAH Really? PELEG I don’t know. Maybe we should try again. DINAH Then pay me.


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PELEG How do you feel? DINAH Tired. That woman’s screams woke me up. ZILPY I do hope she’ll be OK. BEULAH Oh god, I hope it’s not Eddie. ZILPY Can’t you recognize your woman’s screams? BEULAH I guess I can – those screams sound…they sound more northerly. ZILPY Yes, I would say they’re from the north. You don’t scream like that unless you’re up in Galilee. Man those Galileans. They love to scream. My husband he had a friend. I told him, Zechariah, everyone can hear you, we’re sitting around the table, for godsakes. His son, I bet he’ll be a screamer too. Runs in the family. DINAH Well, I guess we can leave at night. Sergius, dale, despierta! Begins to shake Sergius. SERGIUS Que, que pasa… BEULAH + PELEG No! Don’t do that! DINAH What, why? You had your fun Peleg, now it’s time for me to go. To go be a real whore. PELEG But you’re my real whore. DINAH


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I’m nobody’s whore but my own. BEULAH What mr. heartache is saying is that we can’t let you do that Dinah, because we’re about to kill this Roman scumbag. DINAH But he’s not even Roman, he’s a briton! BEULAH But they’re not even conquered! SERGIUS (getting up) My mother got lost and we ended up making a lot of bad choices in Gaul. BEULAH And walking in here may have been your worst choice of all, Roman scum. SERGIUS I got called scum enough by the Pompeiians. May I ask what’s going on? I had a most delightful dream where I was in the Baths at Herculanaeum being treated by some lovely well oiled bath boys with ambrosia and eucalyptus and now and then a woman’s screams – ZILPY Oh no, the screams are real. PELEG And soon they’ll be yours. SERGIUS Oh please relax, you two. You have worse insults than the drunken Munifex battalion after Cannae. DINAH Mi amor, que esperas? SERGIUS No me llames mi amor, linda. Soy sólo un negociante. Y no puedo moverme, no ves que me van a matar?


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PARA QUÉ? (SERGIUS) No es que sea demasiado bello Pa’ despedirme de este mundo, Para que me quiten de esa manera. Para que me pongan a dormir. Para que me saquen esas ganas de vivir. Que hace mucho las perdi. No entienden que soy demasiado pobre y No lo suficientemente importante Para que me quiten de esa manera. Para que me borren de este mundo. Para que me saquen esas ganas de vivir. Que por supuesto las perdi. Por favor no gasten sus armas. Por favor no pierdan sus almas. Tratando de hacer que importe, este pobre chico del norte. No entienden que no tengo nadie en ese mundo Salvo yo. No entienden que ni siquiera yo me quitaría la vida, Pensándolo demasiado trabajo. Que me pongan a dormir. Y sacarme estas ganas de vivir. Pues no vez que las perdi. Por favor no gasten sus armas. Por favor no pierdan sus almas. Tratando de hacer que importe, Porque soy un chico pobre del norte. No entienden que no tengo nadie en ese mundo Salvo yo. PELEG Oh man. That sounded sad. DINAH It was. Basically, he’s telling you he’s worthless.


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SERGIUS I could have told you that. BEULAH As could I. Anyone can tell you’re worthless. What’s important is that you’re Roman, and I’m a Jew. And now you’re going to die, and it will be important. SERGIUS I mean will it? BEULAH It will! DINAH Pues, yo voy a ser importante. SERGIUS No, Dinah, no lo vas a ser. Quizás los generales con los que te acuestas, pero tú nunca vas a importar. Yo tampoco. BEULAH Stop your Latin gibberish and say a prepare to your God. SERGIUS What, you want me to pray to Saturn? BEULAH Sure. Pray for some wheat or something? SERGIUS My Gods arent the kind of Gods you pray to. They’re the kind of Gods you think of when you do certain things. But we imagine that our Gods are too busy doing their specific job, and when they’re not doing their specific job doing horrible things to us and to each other. Which makes them not great to pray to, unless you want a specific thing, like wheat. I mean, when we die, we don’t pray to Jupiter, what will he do, make us sunnier? We pray to Mars when we fight, and I don’t know, Venus when we – but my glory is my own, and maybe Rome’s. Or Britain’s? Or no one’s? I don’t think there’s much glory left in me anyway. BEULAH When I die, I die for my God and for my people.


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SERGIUS Well, I hope your God cares enough to notice. BEULAH He’ll notice, of course he’ll notice. SERGIUS Maybe he’s somewhere else! DINAH Por favor, mi amor, no la irrites! SERGIUS Dejá con eso de mi amor, que no soy nada más que un negociante. PAREN DE HACERME TAN IMPORTANTE. ZILPY He’s right, Bule. Maybe they don’t care. I don’t think anybody cares about me. Maybe they were looking at another hovel in the desert. BEULAH This matters. Of course it matters. PELEG We matter, don’t we love? DINAH I AM NOT YOUR LOVE. YOU PAY ME. I BOUGHT A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE BECAUSE YOU WOULDN’T SHUT UP. THE CLOSEST ILL EVER COME TO LOVING YOU IS ADMIRING THE SHAWL THAT YOUR WORDS BOUGHT ME. PELEG Oh. ZILPY So, what nothing is important? BEULAH THIS IS.

Grabs Sergius and is right about to slit his throat when another scream, this one slightly more melodic pierces the stage.


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PELEG Not again! BEULAH Nope – not this time –

Is about to really slice through him when Ednah enters gleefully. Beulah drops the knife startled.

EDNAH Wait, wait! It’s a Saturnalia miracle! SERGIUS I’ll say. BEULAH No! EDNAH Yes! Yes! It’s – the manger, I heard a baby. Someone gave birth in our manger, Beulah. Isn’t that special? BEULAH Oh god. What a mess. ZILPAH I think it’s sweet. BEULAH Easy for you to say, you’re not the one who’se going to have to go and clean placenta from the manger again. EDNAH No it’s great! It’s wonderful. I mean, to think that on this, the festival of giving, we get such a lovely present to our lovely city. PELEG Well they’re probably leaving just like everyoen else. EDNAH Yes, but regardless, now that family will have that story. Where were you born? I was


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born in a rinky dinky inn in Bethlehem, belonging to those fascinating innkeepers, Ednah and Beulah! ZILPY You really think? EDNAH I do. ZILPY Maybe, but they won’t remember your names. Maybe you’ll just be the innkeepers. EDNAH The innkeepers, I like that! See, we are part of someone else’s anecdote, that’s pretty important? BEULAH They’re Nazarenes, I’m sure they’ll make themselves the star of the story just like they do everytime. EDNAH But it happened in Bethelehem! BETHLEHEM Bethlehem is a very pretty place. A very pretty place to be. Isn’t it a bit of a sore sight to see? What I was looking for Were reasons to be poor, A road to find our happiness. I heard a cry inside, A nasty cave and thought, Another person living in distress. I should look and make sure they’re alright, and Bethlehem is a very pretty place to be born. I hope they never stay, They’d change the way they see. This desert, and this lovely road. They’ll see it’s all a lie, But isn’t a nice place, To start a journey, or take off a load?


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Isn’t it a pity we’re so boring? Isn’t it a pity we’re so old. Otherwise somebody special, would call this place their home. And maybe use the tax dollars, and give us all some - We’re poor but Bethlehem’s the very place to be! I lived my whole life here. Which really explains a lot. I don’t believe I’ll ever leave. But if you want to go, Please go somewhere that’s not, A place too normal to believe. Like this desert, landlocked, filthy Peasant town. But Bethlehem is a very pretty place, If being born is what you’ll be. Even though nobody seems to care, We’ll go down in history. Just you wait and see. Through the boredom and the wind and the rain. Forage past the though that no one special really came, Until it was too late. Until we become desert all over again. Will anyone think that this town even had a name. It’s probably too late. BEULAH Is that it? EDNAH Yeah. BEULAH They’ll all be important, except for us? EDNAH We can be important to each other. BEULAH Yeah, but you can say that about bread too.


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EDNAH I mean, bread is important to a lot more than just us. Bread is more important than almost anything. ZILPAH Don’t forget the figs. BEULAH I have a right mind to chop that god-forsaken fig tree down. ZILPAH Please don’t curse the fig tree. It’s a good tree. We don’t have that many trees. SERGIUS So I’m not dying? EDNAH No. I told you, no one is dying yet. No one. PELEG I feel, I’ll die of heartache. DINAH Do you really love me, Peleg? PELEG Oh God, Dinah, I love you so much. DINAH You love me, love me. I’m your favorite samaritan? PELEG Yes. DINAH Then kiss me. PELEG What? DINAH If you really love me. Kiss me.


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PELEG What? Peleg sits aghast for a second. Looks over at Sergius. SERGIUS Don’t look at me. You’re cute. If you didn’t just try to kill me, I’d kiss you too. PELEG I don’t – DINAH Oh for – Dinah goes and kisses him. PELEG Oh – Dinah. DINAH Ok. Now, think for a second. And say it again. Do you love me? PELEG Um. DINAH How was that kiss? PELEG It was – DINAH Really? PELEG I – DINAH It was just a kiss. But it’s the first thing we’ve ever done that didn’t have to do with an exchange of money and it wasn’t even that good. You weren’t even trying that hard. Now I’m leaving and you’ll never see me again, and I’ll probably never think about


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you. Except maybe when I see a sad Roman tax collector, except they probably won’t talk and will probably just want to use my body. Who knows which is worse at this point. Farewell Peleg. SERGIUS I would say something more – but seeing as all won’t keep trying to murder me, I think best to make a quick exit. DINAH Vamos, mi amor. SERGIUS Te lo juro si me llamas mi amor una vez más te dejo de vuelta en Samaria. They exit EDNAH There goes our favorite whore. BEULAH Our only whore. And our best room. EDNAH Well, what can you do. ZILPAH Well. It’s almost daybreak. I think I overstayed my welcome – BEULAH You most certainly did. EDNAH Nonsense, Zilpy, your love and wisdom is always welcome in this house. ZILPAH Well, all of you take care. I guess tomorrow is another day… EDNAH Yes, hopefully not too hot. ZILPAH Bah. It’s always hot in the damn desert.


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Zilpah leaves BEULAH Hey, Peleg. Why haven’t you left? PELEG Oh. Yes. I should go. BEULAH You should. Your wife is worried sick. PELEG She usually is. BEULAH You know Peleg, I would say something sympathetic, but you sicken me. PELEG Thanks, Bule, you always know what to say. EDNAH Hey Peleg. We’ll see you soon. Tax day is never too far away. PELEG True. She kissed me. BEULAH Bravo. You got kissed. Bravo. PELEG It was. She was syrupy, as always. That smell of honey and clove. And then, the salty, fresh, slightly rotten taste to her tongue. It was. Something different. BEULAH I think you’ll live. PELEG I’ll live. It didn’t mean anything did it? BEULAH It didn’t.


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PELEG But I will live. I will go on. BEULAH You will live, you will go on. You will, now ON YOUR WAY. PELEG Yes, yes, I’m going. Peleg leaves but stays short right outside looking at the moon. EDNAH Well, my love. Bedtime? BEULAH Yes. EDNAH It’s going to be OK. BEULAH We were close, weren’t we Eddie? We were close to being something big. Something important. Something our God could be proud of. EDNAH God is proud of you, Bule. You follow most of the rules. That’s not bad. I mean there’s a lot of rules. BEULAH It kills me. It kills me to live in such a useless city. I bet those Nazarenes are going to make so much more money than us, have such a more interesting, memorable life. Here we are stuck. Where do I go home to? My parents are dead. My brother is in the desert. EDNAH But I’m here. BEULAH You’re here. EDNAH Okay?


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BEULAH Okay. Yes. EDNAH Okay, then. Good night, Bule. BEGIN AGAIN (company) How do I begin again? How do I begin again? How do I begin again, when the dream is gone? How do I begin again? How do I begin again? How do I begin again, when the dream is gone? I never thought that I’d end up like this, When I was young I dreamt of standing out. Of standing tall in bliss. But now I’m standing, But I’m barely holding on. While the world barrels down a path, I know in my heart is wrong. If we could start all over. If we could start all over, Would it be the same? How do I begin again? How do I begin again? How do I begin again, when the dream is gone? How do I begin again? How do I begin again? How do I begin again, when the dream is gone? And here we are again. And we exist. But if existing is all we do, is that enough, to say we lived? And is that everybody, everybody else. Until someone makes a difference, But the rest of us just watch. Someone somewhere makes a difference. And the rest of us, Are just condemned to sing. End of Play


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