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DEALING WITH DEALING WITH ANGRY CUSTOMERS, ANGRY CUSTOMERS, CO-WORKERS AND CO-WORKERS AND

RESIDENTSRESIDENTS

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Department of Adult Department of Adult EducationEducation

Lori Looney, Workplace InstructorLori Looney, Workplace InstructorBluegrass Community and Technical CollegeBluegrass Community and Technical College

164 Opportunity Way164 Opportunity WayLexington, KY 40511Lexington, KY 40511

859-246-6855859-246-6855

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TRAINING SESSION TRAINING SESSION OVERVIEWOVERVIEW

DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGERANGER

PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAMEPLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME DEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGERDEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGERPLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERSCONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS

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What Angry People WantWhat Angry People Want They want what They want what theythey want want

They want helpThey want help

They want choicesThey want choices

They want acknowledgementThey want acknowledgement

I WANT….

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Why do people become Why do people become hostile?hostile?

Revert to primitive, Revert to primitive, instinctual behavior when instinctual behavior when threatenedthreatened

Control/manipulate Control/manipulate environmentenvironment

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The Rules of the Hostility The Rules of the Hostility GameGame

Taking The BaitTaking The Bait Rule 1: When attacked you will Rule 1: When attacked you will

respond defensively. respond defensively. Rule 2: When attacked you will Rule 2: When attacked you will

counterattack. counterattack.

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Other is ready to get angry

Reactive, sensitive, feels powerless, fearful

Feels depersonalized

Feels unimportant

The Hostility Game1. Initial Contact

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The Hostility GameThe Hostility Game

Bureaucratic (robotic, technical)

Triggered (takes bait)

Defensive (cold, terse)

Passive (unhelpful)

Impatient (lack of listening)

2. Employee Responses

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The Hostility GameThe Hostility Game

Increased frustration

Increased helplessness and fear

Increased aggression

Becomes more abusive

3. Other’s Reactions

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The Hostility GameThe Hostility Game

Defends or counter-attacks

More triggers

Less self-control

More aggressive or colder

Even less helpful sounding

Escalation to Crisis

Loss of Control

Violence Potential

4. Employee Reactions

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Beating the Hostility GameBeating the Hostility Game

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Overview of the Defusing Overview of the Defusing ProcessProcess

The CARP SystemThe CARP System CControl ontrol (get them to stop & listen)(get them to stop & listen)

AAcknowledge cknowledge (ID feelings)(ID feelings)

RRefocus efocus (agree to work on problem)(agree to work on problem)

PProblem-Solve roblem-Solve (ID problem; look for (ID problem; look for solutions)solutions)

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The Art of Self-ControlThe Art of Self-Control

Tactic 1:Tactic 1: Identify your triggers Identify your triggers Tactic 2:Tactic 2: Slow down your Slow down your

responsesresponses Tactic 3:Tactic 3: Take a time out Take a time out Tactic 4:Tactic 4: I’m better than that I’m better than that Tactic 5:Tactic 5: I’m not getting suckered I’m not getting suckered

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•Tactic 6: I won’t pay the price•Tactic 7: Put on their shoes•Tactic 8: Observing•Tactic 9: Preparing•Tactic 10: Humor•Tactic 11: Venting/not venting

The Art of Self-Control

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•Use Empathy Statements

•Usually short and to the point

•Allow the other to respond

•Use the broken record technique

•Don’t use the word “but”

•Don’t restate the obvious

•Be careful of your tone

•Don’t use “I”

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Control & AcknowledgeControl & AcknowledgeCountering Nonverbal Countering Nonverbal

IntimidationIntimidation The Stand-Up ShuffleThe Stand-Up Shuffle

– Confrontational PositioningConfrontational Positioning

– Less Confrontational PositioningLess Confrontational Positioning Right AnglesRight Angles

Side by SideSide by Side

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Control & AcknowledgeControl & AcknowledgeAssertive Limit SettingAssertive Limit Setting

Describe the Unacceptable BehaviorDescribe the Unacceptable Behavior

Request Behavior ChangeRequest Behavior Change State ConsequencesState Consequences

– Use Cooperative LanguageUse Cooperative Language– Use Enforceable ConsequencesUse Enforceable Consequences

Offer ChoicesOffer Choices

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Enforce LimitsEnforce Limits– Refer to the limits stated previouslyRefer to the limits stated previously– Request they comply with the Request they comply with the

consequenceconsequence– Offer further helpOffer further help

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Control & AcknowledgeControl & AcknowledgeTime-OutTime-Out

DisengagingDisengaging– allows for time for other to reflectallows for time for other to reflect– allows you time to reflect and regain allows you time to reflect and regain

controlcontrol– Use plausible reasonsUse plausible reasons– VariationsVariations

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•Planning for the Referral

•When does the supervisor want to be involved?

•What does the supervisor want to know about beforehand?

•When will supervisor be available for referrals?

•Any particular mechanics preferred?

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RefocusRefocus

Transition from dealing with Transition from dealing with emotions to dealing with the emotions to dealing with the actual problemactual problem

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Problem SolvingProblem Solving

What is Problem Solving?What is Problem Solving?– Arriving at a decision regarding what Arriving at a decision regarding what

you will doyou will do– Taking into account the rules and the Taking into account the rules and the

concerns of the otherconcerns of the other

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Telephone HostilityTelephone Hostility

Use a Stronger ToneUse a Stronger Tone Use a Very Quiet ToneUse a Very Quiet Tone Stress the More Obvious WordStress the More Obvious Word Use other Relevant TacticsUse other Relevant Tactics

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Intoxicated PeopleIntoxicated People

Work to TerminationWork to Termination Keep it SimpleKeep it Simple

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TRAINING SESSION REVIEWTRAINING SESSION REVIEW

DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGERANGER

PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAMEPLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME DEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGERDEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGERPLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERSCONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS


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