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Dokkens 2011Merry Christmas. We are grateful for each day.

Sunday, December 18, 2011Bozeman, MontanaThe Montana winter evening surrounds our home, yet the lodgepole pine crackle in our fireplace--bringing light, and warmth to an otherwise dark and chilly evening.

What is true this December evening, is abidingly true for our family this year. We, like many others, have been challenged over the past few years. We have spent many an evening in anguish of a future potentially far different from planned. Reverses abound. Yet, each dark evening is followed by a bright Montana morning, and no matter how cold, nor how dark-a simple stone hearth of love, optimism and God’s grace warm our bodies, our lives and our souls.

The evening just ended with our annual showing of “It’s a Wonderful Life,” and in the screenplay of my life, I’m no George Bailey, but I have been fortunate to have married “Mary Bailey” a.k.a., Susi. This year we celebrated 30 years together, and 27 years of marriage. The beauty, I don’t mind, the constancy and faith, well it’s life itself. The vagaries of life can be difficult, but with her love, nothing is unconquerable. From these three decades, we have three boys who continue to define our lives.

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Our boys remain the absolute foundation in our faith of family and the future of us all. Increasingly, there are fewer days when our kitchen fills with the banter of boys, but each day that it does is precious. Drew just returned from studying in Shanghai for a semester, and when we have Chad in our arms Christmas Eve (12.23) our family will again be complete.

Blake Dokken

Blake is the one who remains in our home, and for this we are thankful beyond words-for with him comes a coterie of friends--and newly adopted sons--Ryan, Morgan, Palmer, Philip--and others who fill our home with music, moviemaking,

paint-ball, and the joyful need to be chaperoned to cliff-jumping (for those unfamiliar with technology, click “cliff-jumping and you will see him fall 45 feet), skiing, and movies.

Blake is now 13 years old, an eight grade student, a dedicated exerciser, and an aspiring trick snowboarder. Well, let’s put this last one on a bit of a hold--notice the recent x-ray directly to the right. This is his arm--both bones broken and a tad bit out of alignment. Last Friday--during an attempt to snowboard a rail at Big Sky’s training park--the rail won.

However, he has proven he can still play a mean alto sax in jazz band (normally he plays baritone sax). As for The Bird, Mr. G., Clarence or David S.--you are all on notice.

Throughout his life, primarily to goad his older brothers, we have referred to Blake as the “perfect one,” well known of us are perfect, but for Susi and I, to have one more of these blonde little boys in the house is truly perfect.

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Chad DokkenChad’s year began with a flight to Africa, because the year previous, he had completed high school after three years. Chad chose to work with me in the fall and as a reward--and with his own savings, he left in January on a four month trip through Africa and Europe. He began in Kenya, working at an orphanage for children left parentless from the devastation of AIDS. Before leaving, he had trained for an unknown physical challenge-a special surprise from his mother--and this was only revealed to him in letters upon departure.

He first climbed Mount

Meru--4,800 meters, and then Mount Kilamanjaro, 5,860 meters--running the final day so that he could reach the peak before the impending blizzard.

His winter and spring highlights included a week cooking class in Bordeaux, spring break with Susi, Blake and I in London, the beaches of Normandy, parachuting in Prague, visiting a loved uncle in Paris, seeing old friends in Florence, and most countries in between. Chad completed his solo travels and returned to Bozeman, working with me, Drew and Blake, all at our company, WealthVest.

This fall he enrolled at Denver University. Although his studies are not what he anticipated, he is working harder than any of us could imagine, and never have Susi or I been more proud of his courage, direction and commitment. Today, he is my hero.

Drew DokkenOr, Reverend Dokken, as he is known as in our family. This is not to be taken lightly, for Drew is an official minister,ordained by the Open Online Church of California, that august theological seminary-in the proud tradition of Martin and St. Thomas.

Drew put his credentials to good use immediately in the new year, officiating the renewal of vows for his Nonnie and Poppa. The photo above attests to his ministerial ability. Candidly, there are various vows of our Catholic faith, which he may not yet have fully embraced, but he is young, and a Sigma Chi to boot, so to expect more, well, it wouldn’t be prudent.

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Drew is in his third year at Denver University, and he just completed his semester abroad at Fudan

University--a.k.a.-复旦大学. Sandwiched between

trips to Vietnam, Hong Kong to see long missed family, and Western China, Drew enrolled in 9 credit hours of Mandarin, competed in a Chinese speaking contest--somewhat akin to John Wayne speaking the Queen’s English--and returned home with excellent stories of the life in the future.

Drew blogged for our company for the second summer in a row, but alas, Susi and I are likely to lose him this coming summer to an internship out east. Our house will be noticeably quieter--no belly laughs, no lumbering

bear rummaging through the fridge, or savoring his fourth coffee of the morning. All of these will be missed.

Linda FrankeOur wild, vivacious, always happy--except when the wrong team was winning a hockey game-extended family member--has bid adieu to the Dokken family and returned to her native Canada.

Besides being the saddest goodbye any of us could remember, we could not have been happier watching Linda peel out in her turb0-charged Prius for a return to Edmonton, after a 13 year sabbatical from Loonies, ayes, and incredibly cold winters--well, maybe not the latter since Linda lived with us in both Connecticut and Montana--not exactly the tropics.

While Susi was still a captain for United and Blake was a newborn, Linda joined us to help us manage a household of too many airline flights, parents away from home, while boys had stitches to mend, knees to bandage, and colds to attend to. Shortly thereafter, Susi retired her wings, because the tug of a career could not compete with the tug of her heart. However, Linda remained, the glue that kept the Dokken household a tad less chaotic, a bit more tidy, and always a few degrees more hospitable.

Drew, Chad and Blake’s lives would have been noticeably poorer without Linda’s constant calm, humor, and preternatural good nature. Shoes got tied, and as the boys advanced, she was right there--spoiling them with a cappuccino, or mended socks.

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Susi DokkenSusi poured her everything into Drew, Chad and Blake, and as those duties reluctantly wind down, she has set her net upon different waters. A local woman and friend has selflessly created a foundation dedicated to a rural Moroccan village-part Berber, part Arabic, all in need of the help of others to provide health care for women, education for girls, and a better life for all.

The project started as an architectural project and bloomed into a humanitarian masterpiece. Susi has been contributing her heart, her funds

and her hands to the people directly in Morocco and the foundation board that supports the work.

Yes, she did turn 5o this past July 3, 2011. The photo at left was taken that very day. Go ahead, say it--Ann Margaret, Lindsay, (whatever her color is today), Ginger, or for that matter, any ginger, has nothing over my wife.

What are the highlights in the year? Susi renovated our home on Cousins Lane on our Minnesota lake, which will be featured prominently later in our life. Our flowers, gardens and our home continue to flourish under her stewardship.

She has studied the French Revolution with a friend and another friend who is now pursuing her doctorate in Canada.

However the highlights of Susi’s life occur daily--in calls with her sisters, her mother, her nieces, her nephews, her brothers or her sons--and presumably a word or two with me. A niece recently engaged and about to shop for wedding dresses, another off to New York after graduating, and a third

with a beautiful baby boy. A nephew in love, another recently reengaged in college

and a third about to matriculate. Nieces moving from abroad to the States. Ballerinas, rock stars, and politicos. Skype has new relevancy that few could have anticipated. Perhaps we are rushing our boy’s anticipated marriages (no prospects yet) and families, but the delightful imagery is forming in our mind’s eye.

We spend time considering act III, and who knows when, where or what, but her refrain is the same, working with kids in need somewhere--here, India, Morocco, or wherever her love takes us.

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Wade DokkenAs a start, I am not only the guy behind the pen for these letters, but generally the guy behind the camera. So, I have few new photos.

The real estate project that brought us to Montana ended ignominiously for us. However, three years ago, a great friend and former colleague and I started a company, WealthVest. Today, my partner, and I have 80 people working with us and we’re recruiting another 50 or so in the next couple of months. Friends from other times have joined us and we have successfully recruited incredibly talented, wonderful people both here, San Francisco, where he is located, and throughout the nation.

I did not anticipate another startup in my life, but if it is at all possible, this is the most joyous of my life. The people are smart, experienced, friendly and everyone is dedicated. Literally, every day is a vacation--and the days are not short. We raised about $300

million in 2011 and expect this to double or triple in 2012. This may happen, or maybe not, but my work life is still a dream.

My commute is one and a half miles--seriously. Each day there is a near traffic fatality on this dangerous road--generally deer, but occasionally an elk. Cars, not so much. Lunch is too infrequent with Susi at home, but the privilege is priceless.

The photo at right is the view from my office. I don’t own Photoshop, so I can adamantly say it is not “photoshopped.” However, if a peace falls upon you as you look at my view, well you fairly well understand my countenance.

Life is an infrequent dinner with friends from Kansas, New Jersey, California, other states or Montana-all now living here. Susi and I decided to transition back to skis from snowboards, thus ending our 12 year experiment in shredding, this year. I’m not saying that it has anything to do with age, I’m just saying. Summer is a hike, or a very infrequent attempt at trout in our pond. Fall is a hunt with one of the boys, or this year, a day with my dad and another with my father-in-law. These privileges are not forever.

As I have been writing this letter over the past week, I have been looking out our windows at the mountains, our trout pond below the Bridger Mountains, the East Gallatin River running through our front yard, and at the life of our newest boarder. A lone goose, her wing broken, lit upon our pond this fall. Her wing damaged, she was fortunate to find refuge at our home. The water stays open, and I keep the corn pile stacked high. The spirit in each of us can get us through--with a little help from our friends.

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What we count on

In the past year plus, I turned 50 with very close friends and family and Susi chose the same. We celebrated the fiftieth of a dear friend (for tips on how to completely outdo everyone on the planet, I’ll give you the number of his wife), and in a

month we will celebrate the fiftieth of Susi’s dearest friend and her husband--and all friends for life for both of us.

What we used to count (money, things)--well, it’s become a much easier job, since our real estate adventure has eliminated much. However, with each year--and particularly after our

individual semicentennials, what we count upon has become profoundly more precious; a son depending upon a father for his faith, a husband needing the love of his wife for strength, a child needing to be a man, while allowing him to remain your son, each member of a family upon each other, friends needing to know who is indeed a friend when the need is the greatest. Recently I lost a friend of 32 years, inexplicable, without reason or warning. Susi also lost a friend--a fellow aviator from her days as a flight student--who was lost with his plane. Both in their prime and both haunt us today. Our time is not forever and what’s important is right in front of us.

Four dear friends, or those most beloved to them, have suffered or are suffering the scourge of cancer in 2011. Nothing could mean more to us in 2012 than each of them regaining their strength, health and life’s path. We keep you in our heart, this season and all the seasons that shall follow.

This is true for Susi’s children in Morocco, the next family at our local food bank, or any of you and your loved ones needing comfort.

Warren Zevon said it far better. We keep you in our hearts, and we ask that you keep us in your hearts.

From our family to yours. May the peace that passes all understanding grace your home this Christmas.

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