A Training Program Designed to Improve

Emotional Intelligence and Leadership

for School Leaders

Dr Helen Kalaboukas and

Professor Con Stough.

DevelopingEmotional Intelligence and Leadership

Program Overview Session 1

Emotional Intelligence (EI) & Leadership

Self Directed Change and the “Ideal Self”

Session 2 Developing Leadership

Optimal Performance

The Five Discoveries

Session 3 Becoming a Resonant Leader

Developing the Emotional Reality of Teams

Creating Sustainable Change

Session 3

Session 1: The “Ideal Self” Master PlanYou in Five, Ten or Fifteen years from Now

Living your “ideal life” Developing a Vision - free writing/talking about this

vision What kind of people around you? What kind of environment? A typical day or week

The “Ought” versus the “Ideal” Self Exploring and linking learning goals with dreams and

aspirations about the future

The Ever – Changing Ideal A Personal Ideal Vision/Image

A guide for our decisions

A barometer of our sense of satisfaction in life

A Leader’s Shared Vision for the Organization In tune with the others’ vision

To be open to others’ hopes and dreams

Homework:1. What are your Core Values in each of the following arenas of

your life?

Physical health Family Relationships Work Spirituality

2. Make a List

1-27 All the things you want to do or experience in life

Some questions for discussion

1. Best leaders in the world Who is the leader you admire?

2. Nurture over Nature Are leaders born or made?

3. What is leadership? Leadership is …..

Testing for LeadersPsychologist D. Laird found five skills required for leaders:

1. Can you deal with a serious insult without exploding?

2. Can you get through a bad period without being discouraged?

3. Can you laugh together with other people when you are the butt of their laughter?

4. Do you have enough energy to keep going when everything goes wrong?

5. Can you keep calm in emergency situations?

Leaders and Leadership

Barns in 1978 first proposed that::

“Leadership is something different from leaders, that is leader traits and behaviours ”

“Leadership is the reciprocal process of mobilizing, by persons with certain motives and values, various economic, political and other resources, in a context of competition and conflict, in order to realize goals independently or mutually held by both leaders and followers”

The old and the “emerging” paradigms of L.

The old paradigms have focused mainly on task oriented or relations oriented directive or participative autocratic or democratic related exchange theories

The old paradigms of Leadership ignored effects on leader-follower relations on the sharing of vision,

symbolism, imaging, and sacrifice and the two major factors in Leadership,

that is: measuring activity and effectiveness

Leadership and Management. “The fundamental difference between leadership

and management lies in their respective functions for organizations and for society. The function of Leadership is to create change while the function of management is to create stability”.

Barker, R.A. (1970)

Leadership and Management cont’es Leadership creates new patterns of action and new

belief systems.

Management protects stabilised patterns and beliefs.

The function of management regarding change is to anticipate change and to adapt to it, but not create it.

The Avolio and Bass Model (MLQ)

The Three Leadership Styles

1. Transformational Leadership

Idealised Attributes

Idealised Behaviours

Inspirational Motivation

Intellectual Stimulation

Individual Consideration

MLQ - The three Leadership Styles (cont’es)

2. Transactional Leadership

Contingent Rewards

Management by Exception (Active)

Management by Exception (Passive)

3. Laissez-faire Leadership

The Leadership Repertoire - Goleman Visionary

Moves people towards shared vision When changes require a new vision or when a clear direction is

needed

Coaching Connects what a person wants with the organization’s goals To help an employee improve performance by building long-term

capabilities

Affiliative Creates harmony by connecting people to each other To heal rifts in a team, to strengthen connections, to motivate

during stressful times

The Leadership Repertoire – cont’es Democratic

Values people’s input and gets commitment through participation

To build buy-in or consensus, or to get valuable input from employees

Pacesetting Meets challenging and exciting goals

To get high-quality results from a motivated and competent team

Commanding Soothes fears by giving clear directions in an emergency

To kick-start a turnaround, in a crisis or with problem employees

TLQ - The Metcalfe Model

1. Genuine concern for others

2. Political sensitivity and skills

3. Decisiveness, determination, self-confidence

4. Integrity, trustworthy, honest and open

5. Empowers, develops potential

6. Inspirational networker and promoter

7. Accessible, approachable

8. Clarifies boundaries, involves others in decisions

9. Encourages critical and strategic thinking

Developing Shared Leadership in Teams

High levels of trust among members, results in a willingness to sacrifice short term gain for long-term potential

Team members have a solid belief in themselves, the team, and its collective mission

Members readily identify with the team mission and are committed to and inspired by it

Developing Shared Leadership in Teams (cont’es)

Conflict over different perspectives is valid and encouraged, often resulting in profound knowledge development

Each individual considers it his or her responsibility to develop the potential of their associates

Goleman, Boyatzis, Mc Kee, Primal leadership 2002

Action Learning Teams and Projects

Must be strategic in nature, multidimensional, ambiguous and new.

There must be active executive-level sponsorship in determining the projects and working with the teams.

Teams must work on the projects creating a healthy climate, maintaining functional norms, using EI, dealing with conflict, focussing on learning rather than achievement, and so on.

Action Learning Teams and Projects (cont’es)

The process of learning needs to be examined, and this examination needs to be expected as part of the outcome.

The projects need to be highly visible.

Resources must be dedicated to the teams, and in particular people need to be released, to some extend, from normal duties to work on the projects.

Goleman, Boyatzis, Mc Kee, Primal Leadership 2002

Learning Styles Learn by modelling / Model building

Learn from past experience / Concrete experience

Learn from theory / Reflection

Learn by experimenting / Trial – and – error learning

A Transformational Leader “Thomas J. Watson, Sr. laid the foundation for

decades of success at IBM by providing a vision that the company must provide the best service for the customer for IBM to prosper. This vision was reinforced in recruiting, reward and training systems throughout many years and helped to provide a common focus of excellence for the company”.

Robert T Keller, professor of Management, University of Houston, Texas

Work in Groups:

1. Choose three leaders and identify their styles and practices.

2. Action Learning Teams to start working on developing ground rules and a vision and mission.

3. Keep working on your “Ideal Self” Master Plan

Developing an Emotional State

Participants to experiment with emotions and emotional states

Choose an emotional state: e.g. confident, resolved, easy-going, content

Practice “I feel powerful/successful” and “I feel sad”

Rate the emotion from 1(not at all) to 10 (most I’ve ever felt)

Then change body posture and repeat

Developing Co-coachingParticipants to find a co-coach and work on Forming a trusting and confidential relationship Encouraging EI development Practicing new learning Supporting achievement Reviewing performance

Work in pairs: You are very angry. The phone rings. You are

expecting a very important phone call. What do you do?

During a brief meeting with the boss, Tom was told that his position has being eliminated. (Role-play)

Creating a Resourceful State

Remember a moment when you felt “I can do anything” or “I feel very healthy”

Relieve the experience

Choose your anchor and or a “key word”

Aim to retain this emotion/state for a day

Keep practicing until you can easily access as needed

Transferring a Resourceful State in 7 steps

1. Identify the “current situation” and the “goal” you want to achieve

2. Choose the “resourceful state” that can transfer you to the “goal”

3. Find a past experience with this state.

4. Make a circle in front of you and step into in order to associate

Transferring a Resourceful State (cont’es)

5. Relive the experience fully in the way you want to by focussing on What happens when you feel this?

What do you see, hear, smell, taste?

What do you tell yourself?

6. Step out and find a physical anchor to elicit the state. Step back into the circle again and again to amplify the state further. Refresh your anchor

7. Step out and find a key word (e.g. “go”). Step back into the circle again together with the anchor and the key word. Repeat 5-8 times.

The ABCs of Emotions A is for an Activating event

B is for Belief or thought

C is for the emotional Consequence

The ABCs of Emotions – C. Stough There can be many different types of As such as a

person, an action or an environmental event

B’s can be your thought processes or beliefs and can irrational

C’s are the emotions as a consequence to your interpretation or your beliefs associated to the activated event

Examine the connections between ABC when you feel an emotion you don’t want

ERE – Development Options DON’T try to become more emotional at work, this is not

what this dimension is all about

Become more conscious, in general, of your emotions at work

Consider how you feel and the appropriateness of your emotions in comparison to the situation causing them

Try to become more conscious of the accuracy with which you are conveying how you feel to others at work

Is your body language, facial expression, tone of voice, etc, appropriate or being conveyed in a professional manner?

UE – Development Options Start paying attention to the emotions of others,

their body language, facial expression, tone of voice – nuances and subtleties

Consider the reasons why people are displaying certain emotions at work and the appropriateness of their emotions in comparison to the level at which they are displayed

Attend to the emotional overtone of workplace environments, staff meetings, etc

UE – Development Options (cont’es) Watch the way people react when you are trying to

build rapport with them

Observe the way people behave emotionally with each other, to what extend do they get along and so on

Identify the “stars” in your workplace. Start paying more attention to the ways they interact with others?

EDC – Development Options Consider how you feel about different options when decision

making at work and about how those choices may affect both you and others on an emotional level

Listen to your “gut feelings” or intuitive thoughts and weigh them up against the facts or technical knowledge you have in front of you

Think back on a decision you made based on analyzing facts but not taking into consideration your feelings about that decision

Try not to make decisions on the basis of your feelings or rational thoughts alone, but incorporate both in your planning and actions

EM - Development Options Be more aware of pessimistic thoughts and negative

feelings and try to consider them in a more objective and less emotional way

Use more optimism and look for positive affirmation in both your own and your colleagues/subordinates daily work and achievements

Try not to let weakness and/or failures get you or others “down” and promote them as something to learn from and as a developmental opportunity - “TRANSFORMATION”

Foster positive emotions in the workplace by providing encouraging feedback to others, acknowledging achievements and showing appreciation

EC - Development Options Stop and think what is causing strong emotions at

work, identify the issues and /or problems

Establish “calming techniques” when strong emotions arise e.g. counting to 10, controlled breathing, taking a walk or a short break, etc

Looking after yourself, physical exercise, meditation, yoga, ti-chi, etc. some organizations offer such classes as a stress reliever

Prof. C. Stough

Common Errors in Thinking Discounting positive information

Jumping to a negative conclusion

Going beyond the facts Using absolutes to describe events

More dire than justified

Faulty prediction

Invalid allocation of responsibility

Invalid conclusions about motives

Using only dichotomous categories

And many more

The EI Leader’s Competencies – Goleman

Self awareness Emotional self-awareness

Accurate self-assessment

Self confidence

Self-management Self-control

Transparency

Adaptability

Achievement

Initiative

Optimism

The EI Leader’s Competencies (cont’es)

Social Awareness Empathy

Organizational Awareness

Service

Relationship Management Inspiration

Influence

Developing others

Change catalyst

Conflict management

Teamwork and collaboration

The EI Leader’s Blueprint You are a regional sales manager, and your team

has not met its current quarterly sales goal. Not pleased with yet another problem quarter, you call a sales meeting, making it clear that everyone must attend. As the fifteen sales people enter the meeting room you…

The EI Leader’s Emotional Blueprint

You should include:

1. Identifying how people feel

2. Understanding the reasons for these feelings

3. Using their feelings to direct their thinking

4. Managing to stay open to the data in feelings

5. Use the information to make optimal decisions

Session 2: Developing LeadershipBarker (1997) presents a different view of Leadership as a

community development process and an alternative to traditional leadership approaches and he points out the differences between:

Managerial training focusing on skills to Solve problems Motivate people Accomplish goals Minimize uncertainty Avoid blame for uncontrollable outcomes

Developing Leadership (cont’es) Executive development focusing on personal traits

and characteristics, in developing reflective insight and interpretation and in preparing the manager physically and mentally to cope with

Organizational politics

Unreasonable expectations

Incompatible co-workers and subordinates

Conflicting requirements for action

What Leaders and Managers Do Building effective teams

Planning and Deciding Effectively

Motivating People

Communicating a Vision

Promoting Change

Creating Effective Interpersonal Relationships

Caruso and Salovey (2004)

Goleman - The First Discovery:

The Ideal Self – Who do I want to be?

YOU, FIFTEEN (or TEN) YEARS FROM NOW -where would you be sitting? -what kind of people would be around you? -what does the environment looks like and feels like? -what might you be doing during a typical day? Just let the image develop and place you in the picture.

Don’t worry about the feasibility of creating this kind of ideal life.

Goleman - The Second Discovery

The Real Self – Who am I? What are my strengths and gaps?

Uncovering the reality: how do you see yourself and how others see you?

You need to develop an understanding of your leadership strengths and gaps – the differences or similarities between the ideal and the real self.

The Personal Balance Sheet

You can develop a SWOT Analysis by working on your:

Strengths

Weaknesses or Areas to Develop

Opportunities

Threats

Goleman - The Third Discovery

A Learning Agenda – How can I build on my strengths while reducing my gaps?

Goal Setting

Build on strengths

Be a person’s own

Have flexible plans

Have feasible plans, with manageable steps

Have plans that suit a person’s learning style

Know your Learning Style Concrete Experience: having an experience that

allows them to see and feel what it is like Reflection: thinking about their own and others’

experiences Model Building: coming up with a theory that make

sense of what they observe Trial-and-error learning: trying something out by

actively experimenting with a new approach

Goleman - The Fourth Discovery

The Power of Mental Rehearsal: Reconfiguring the Brain

Experimenting with and practicing new behaviours, thoughts, and feelings to the point of mastery.

Four Simple Steps to improve self control and empathy Step back – listen, don’t jump in.

Let the other person speak

Get some objectivity – ask yourself if there is a reason for your reaction or you are jumping into conclusions?

Ask clarifying questions rather than appear judgmental or hostile

To master a new skill it needs repetition and practice

“Stealth learning”

Goleman - The Fifth Discovery

The Power of Relationships – Developing supportive and trusting relationships that make change possible

Positive groups help people make positive changes Good coaches will understand the leader’s dilemma from

multiple perspectives and will tailor a leader’s development program in an one-on-one relationship:

The individual level – what is going on for that person The team level – the group dynamics of the executive or staff teams The organizational level – how all of this fits with culture, systems, and

strategy

The SMART Goals Principle

S. Specific -

M. Measurable

A. Acceptable

R. Realizable

T. Timed

Problem Solving - The 3Abcs Three strategies to use when dealing with a problem

are: A - Alter the situation A – Avoid the situation A – Adapt to the situation by

b – building resilience

c – changing our attitude

Different situations will determine the appropriate approach

Altering implies removing the source of stress by

changing something e.g.

- assertiveness

- organization

- planning

- time management

- delegation

Avoiding Implies removing oneself from the stressful

situation or figuring out how nor to get there in the first place.

- walk away

- let go

- say ‘no’

- delegate

- know your limits

Adapting

Involves equipping oneself physically and mentally for stress by:

building resistance and/or

changing our attitudes.

Building Resistance includes:

proper diet

regular exercise

relaxation and/or meditation

taking time for oneself

maintaining social supports

having clear goals and priorities

Changing Our Attitude includes:

looking at underlying self-talk

seeing things through different eyes

“the most important conversations you will ever have are those you have with yourself”

Session 3: METAMORPHOSIS

“The Resonant Leader” The main tasks of a leader are to generate excitement, optimism,

and passion as well as an atmosphere of cooperation and trust.

EI Leadership is built from a foundation of self-awareness

Self-awareness facilitates both empathy and self-management and these two in combination allow effective relationship management

Goleman 2002

The Resonant Leader

Emotional Intelligence can enable leaders to accomplish those fundamental tasks by developing further:

Self-awareness

Self-management

Social awareness

Relationship management

Driving Resonance Be attuned to how others feel in the moment

Say and do what is appropriate by calming fears

assuaging anger

joining in good spirits

Sense the shared values and priorities that can guide a group.

Homework

Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Leader:

Develop your own Emotionally Intelligent Leadership style by integrating the SUEIT, the Caruso and the Goleman models.

Use the Self-directed learning approach and apply the Goleman’s Five Discoveries to achieve change

For more reading you can visit www.eiconsortium.org

Group Exercise:

Everyone in the team is depressed as you are discussing all the problems on the project that will delay the product launch by two months. The president who said that this is unacceptable, walks into the meeting room. You as the team leader…

Building an Emotionally Intelligent Organization

Discovering the Emotional Reality Respect the groups values and the organization’s integrity Slow down in order to speed up Start at the top with a bottom-up strategy

Visualizing the Ideal Look inside Don’t align - Attune People first, then strategy

Sustaining Emotional Intelligence Turn vision into action Create systems that sustain emotionally intelligent practices Manage the myths of Leadership

Four Levels of Organizational Culture Non-Transactional

no sense of community and/or cohesion no core set of values or ideals decisions are not tied to any precedents often members not taking responsibility for their actions

Transactional (Corrective) heavy concentration on eliminating mistakes emphasis on what people do wrong little collegial support high risk avoidance keeping new ideas to oneself

Four Levels of Organizational Culture Transactional (Constructive)

things get done through negotiations and contracts rewards provided to employees executives provide each other with support and recognition transactions can be of longer duration if consistent honouring of agreements, a basis of trust is built

Transformational core values are easily identified by members collective focus on building learning potential and performance members working toward a central mission and/or purpose symbols and images signify the important values members trust each other to do what is right and moral people are comfortable questioning each other

Creating Sustainable Change - Goleman

Within an organization, best Leadership programs are designed for culture, competencies and spirit.

They need to follow the principles of self directed change and use a multifaceted approach to the learning and development process by focussing on the individual, the team and the organization.

Creating Sustainable Change (con’es)Processes need to include the following:

A tie-in to the culture and sometimes to culture change in an organization

Seminars built around the philosophy and practice of individual change

Relevant learning about EI competencies – not just business acumen

Creative and potent learning experiences with a purpose

Relationships that support learning, such as learning teams and executive coaching

Homework Work with your co-coach and develop further your

EI Leadership Style

Create a feedback mechanism – how will you know that you are behaving with greater/better EI?

You can prepare a presentation about your progress in the Ideal Self - Master Plan

Conclusions: What are some of the changes you have achieved

Within yourself?

In your practices as a leader?

What are your plans for the Ideal Self – Master Plan in the next twelve months?

What I have learned so far:

TO ALL PARTICIPANTSA VERY BIG THANK YOU!!!