descriptive essays adapted from techniques in writing by jack hydes

Descriptive Descriptive EssaysEssaysadapted from adapted from

Techniques in WritingTechniques in Writing

by Jack Hydesby Jack Hydes

I. Gathering I. Gathering IdeasIdeas

Observing the RulesObserving the Rules

RULE #1: RULE #1:

Avoid the most obvious points.Avoid the most obvious points.


RULE #2: RULE #2:

Make sure your observations are Make sure your observations are accurate and particular rather than accurate and particular rather than vague and general.vague and general.

The Interesting and The Interesting and UnusualUnusual

Here are some interesting and Here are some interesting and unusual observations on autumn that unusual observations on autumn that were taken from students' essays.were taken from students' essays.


1.1. It is sometimes drizzling; the water It is sometimes drizzling; the water seems to hang in the air making seems to hang in the air making a wet curtain.a wet curtain.


2.2. It is a lonely time of the year as It is a lonely time of the year as everyone stays at home. It everyone stays at home. It becomes too much of a struggle to becomes too much of a struggle to go anywhere or see anyone.go anywhere or see anyone.


3. A weary tree stands lonely. Its 3. A weary tree stands lonely. Its black bare fingers bind themselves black bare fingers bind themselves about a nearby hedgerow for about a nearby hedgerow for warmth.warmth.


4. As you breathe, your breath hangs 4. As you breathe, your breath hangs in the air and then vanishes.in the air and then vanishes.


5. The bright sunshine, yet cold blue 5. The bright sunshine, yet cold blue sky, which is perfect for postcards, sky, which is perfect for postcards, makes it unmistakably autumn.makes it unmistakably autumn.


RULE #3: RULE #3:

Focus on unusual sights, vivid Focus on unusual sights, vivid memories and original ideas.memories and original ideas.

II. PlanningII. Planning


RULE #4: RULE #4:

Be selective and concentrate on one Be selective and concentrate on one aspect of the subject when the topic aspect of the subject when the topic given is a broad one, e.g. Describe given is a broad one, e.g. Describe the season of autumn.the season of autumn.


RULE #5: RULE #5:

Begin by asking the following Begin by asking the following questions about the title: where? questions about the title: where? when? who? what? why? and how? when? who? what? why? and how? For example:For example:

PlanningPlanning

1.1. You are going to describe autumn, You are going to describe autumn, but where? In the town? In the but where? In the town? In the countryside? In a particular countryside? In a particular location? Or are you going to location? Or are you going to compare the effect of autumn in compare the effect of autumn in the town and in the countryside?the town and in the countryside?

PlanningPlanning

2.2. When is the description taking When is the description taking place? Will you be describing the place? Will you be describing the passing of the complete season passing of the complete season or simply taking a day or part of a or simply taking a day or part of a day?day?

PlanningPlanning

3.3. Who are the people you have Who are the people you have jotted down in your list? What are jotted down in your list? What are they doing and why are they they doing and why are they there?there?

PlanningPlanning

4.4. How are people dressed and how How are people dressed and how do they behave? do they behave?


RULE #6: RULE #6:

Another way to organize material Another way to organize material could be to write a paragraph on could be to write a paragraph on each of the senses in turn. You each of the senses in turn. You might move from the sights of might move from the sights of autumn to its sounds, smells and autumn to its sounds, smells and tastes … tastes …


RULE #6: RULE #6:

Or you could show how different age Or you could show how different age groups regard the season, showing groups regard the season, showing first how old people, then how first how old people, then how mothers and fathers, teenagers, mothers and fathers, teenagers, schoolchildren and, lastly, toddlers schoolchildren and, lastly, toddlers see it.see it.

III. ImageryIII. Imagery

ImageryImagery

Imagery is Imagery is the comparison of one the comparison of one object with another so that the first object with another so that the first object or idea can be more effectively object or idea can be more effectively understood or imagined. The understood or imagined. The comparison can be stated comparison can be stated (a simile) (a simile) or implied (a or implied (a metaphor) metaphor) but implying but implying a comparison is often a much briefer a comparison is often a much briefer and more powerful way of conveying and more powerful way of conveying your message. your message.

Bank Holiday Bank Holiday (Katherine Mansfield)(Katherine Mansfield)

A stout man with a pink face wears dingy A stout man with a pink face wears dingy white flannel trousers, a blue coat with a white flannel trousers, a blue coat with a pink handkerchief showing, and a straw hat pink handkerchief showing, and a straw hat much too small for him perched at the back much too small for him perched at the back of his head. He plays the guitar. A little of his head. He plays the guitar. A little chap in white canvas shoes, his face hidden chap in white canvas shoes, his face hidden under a felt hat like a broken wing, under a felt hat like a broken wing, breathes into a flute; and a tall thin fellow, breathes into a flute; and a tall thin fellow, with bursting over-ripe button boots, draws with bursting over-ripe button boots, draws ribbons - long, twisted streaming ribbons - ribbons - long, twisted streaming ribbons - of tune out of a fiddle. They stand of tune out of a fiddle. They stand unsmiling, but not serious, in the broad unsmiling, but not serious, in the broad sunlight opposite the fruit shop: the pink sunlight opposite the fruit shop: the pink spider of a hand beats the guitar, the squat spider of a hand beats the guitar, the squat little hand, with a brass-and-turquoise ring, little hand, with a brass-and-turquoise ring, forces the reluctant flute, and the fiddler's forces the reluctant flute, and the fiddler's arm tries to saw the fiddle in two.arm tries to saw the fiddle in two.


RULE #7: RULE #7:

There must be selective observation There must be selective observation of details. To make these details of details. To make these details more vivid, the author compares more vivid, the author compares them (implied and otherwise) with them (implied and otherwise) with unusual and unconnected objects and unusual and unconnected objects and ideas.ideas.

Angel PavementAngel Pavement ((J.B. Priestley)J.B. Priestley)

When at last they were admitted, they When at last they were admitted, they walked through an enormous entrance walked through an enormous entrance hall, richly tricked out in chocolate and hall, richly tricked out in chocolate and gold, illuminated by a huge central gold, illuminated by a huge central candelabrum, a vast bunch of russet-candelabrum, a vast bunch of russet-gold globes, the prodigiously thick and gold globes, the prodigiously thick and opulent chocolate carpets, into which opulent chocolate carpets, into which their feet sank as if they were the feet of their feet sank as if they were the feet of archdukes and duchesses. Up they went, archdukes and duchesses. Up they went, passing a chocolate and gold platoon or passing a chocolate and gold platoon or two and a portrait gallery of film stars, two and a portrait gallery of film stars, whose eyelashes seemed to stand out whose eyelashes seemed to stand out from the walls like stout black wires, from the walls like stout black wires, until they reached a door that led them until they reached a door that led them to the dim summit of a balcony, which to the dim summit of a balcony, which fell dizzily away in a scree of little heads. fell dizzily away in a scree of little heads. ItIt

Angel PavementAngel Pavement ((J.B. Priestley)J.B. Priestley)

was an interval between pictures. was an interval between pictures. Several searchlights were focused on Several searchlights were focused on an organ-keyboard that looked like a an organ-keyboard that looked like a tiny gilded box, far below, and the tiny gilded box, far below, and the organ itself was shaking out cascades organ itself was shaking out cascades of treacly sound, so that the whole of treacly sound, so that the whole place trembled with sugary ecstasies. place trembled with sugary ecstasies. But while they waited in the gangway But while they waited in the gangway the lights faded out, the gilded box the lights faded out, the gilded box dimmed and sank, the curtains parted dimmed and sank, the curtains parted to reveal the screen again, and an to reveal the screen again, and an enormous voice, as inhuman as that enormous voice, as inhuman as that of a genie, announced that it would of a genie, announced that it would bring the world's news not only to bring the world's news not only to their eyes but to their ears. their eyes but to their ears.

Sample DescriptionsSample Descriptions

Make a list of all the images used. Make a list of all the images used. How many are connected with sight, How many are connected with sight, sound or touch?sound or touch?

1. The alarm clock rings. The sunlight 1. The alarm clock rings. The sunlight squeezes through the gap at the squeezes through the gap at the top of top of the curtains and hits you the curtains and hits you right in the right in the eye as you turn to eye as you turn to switch off the bell.switch off the bell.


2. I sometimes wish the wind would 2. I sometimes wish the wind would die down and stop whipping up die down and stop whipping up my hair into rat's tails, especially my hair into rat's tails, especially as I spend three-quarters of an as I spend three-quarters of an hour doing it.hour doing it.


3. The sea pounded against the sea 3. The sea pounded against the sea wall as if it were going to swallow wall as if it were going to swallow the whole world.the whole world.


4. The hands of the clock slowly 4. The hands of the clock slowly moved towards ten forty-five and moved towards ten forty-five and I waited for the sadistic scream of I waited for the sadistic scream of the bell ordering me to pack up the bell ordering me to pack up and run over to B block for my and run over to B block for my next class.next class.


5. Dustbin lids rattled along the 5. Dustbin lids rattled along the road and litter was tumbling road and litter was tumbling playfully until it met an obstacle.playfully until it met an obstacle.


6. The clouds parted, revealing a 6. The clouds parted, revealing a pale strip of sky like a knife slash pale strip of sky like a knife slash on canvas. The winds blew clouds on canvas. The winds blew clouds apart, unveiling more - the frayed apart, unveiling more - the frayed edge of the canvas hiding the edge of the canvas hiding the

mysterious painting beneath.mysterious painting beneath.

A Descriptive PassageA Descriptive Passage

By the time George had reached the By the time George had reached the center of the town, the market was center of the town, the market was already doing business.already doing business.


A group of men, tweed-suited and A group of men, tweed-suited and cloth-capped, stood gossiping on the cloth-capped, stood gossiping on the corner and blocked the narrow corner and blocked the narrow pavement. People, recently deposited pavement. People, recently deposited by the single-decker bus from the by the single-decker bus from the villages, hurried from stall to stall villages, hurried from stall to stall dragging their baskets to finish their dragging their baskets to finish their shopping before the mid day bus shopping before the mid day bus home. A queue had already formed in home. A queue had already formed in front of the butcher's stall and Bertie front of the butcher's stall and Bertie Franklin had unloaded nearly all the Franklin had unloaded nearly all the racks of dresses and coats from his racks of dresses and coats from his van onto the pavement.van onto the pavement.


'Talk to me. Talk to me,' was the 'Talk to me. Talk to me,' was the meaningless cry from the fruit stall, meaningless cry from the fruit stall, neatly and artistically set out with neatly and artistically set out with green grapes in bunches draped green grapes in bunches draped across mounds of plump orange across mounds of plump orange tomatoes. At the front of the stall tomatoes. At the front of the stall pineapples punctuated with careful pineapples punctuated with careful elegance the heaps of tangerines; elegance the heaps of tangerines; grapefruit, coxes and oranges were grapefruit, coxes and oranges were scattered among lettuces and cress; scattered among lettuces and cress; avocados nestled among walnuts and avocados nestled among walnuts and brazils.brazils.


The market street was blocked with The market street was blocked with lorries and vans. Boxes, racks and lorries and vans. Boxes, racks and crates blocked the street.crates blocked the street.


How on earth was he going to find How on earth was he going to find Jean among all this lot? Jean among all this lot?


RULE #8: RULE #8:

To include a description of a scene To include a description of a scene can make a story livelier by giving can make a story livelier by giving the reader a sense of being there.the reader a sense of being there.


RULE #9: RULE #9:

Do not include so much description in Do not include so much description in your story that the reader loses the your story that the reader loses the thread. In an examination essay, your thread. In an examination essay, your main concern will be to cover the main concern will be to cover the main events of your plot in the time main events of your plot in the time allowed.allowed.