deep-london magazine april 2011

april11 8/4/11 9:38 am

CHALKBOARDS & WINDOW ARTWORK FOR PUBS, BARS,CAFES & RESTAURANTS. LOGOS & CARTOONS

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

GET YOUR EVENT LISTED:e-mail: HELLO@

DEEP-LONDON.CO.UKwhat’s on listings are

absolutely FREE!

Last date forinclusion in May issue -

20th April 2011

Hello there.....and welcome to issue 88. This month you find me, readers, in

a wistful mood, as I’m watching an episode of Top Of The Popsfrom 1976 on BBC4 as I type. Even though I was only 6 at thetime, those were the days eh? What a line-up, T-Rex, Abba, Bowie,Can, er, Disco Duck... Damn, it was all going so well. Back to thisthen I suppose... Yes, welcome indeed to issue 88, a slightlyabridged issue this month becasue, although there’s loads going onin April, there’s not actually that much going on, if you see what Imean? What there is, though, is two consecutive 4 day weekends,meaning we essentially get more time off this month than we didat Christmas with the added bonus that the sun’s out and it’s lovelyout there, so I suggest we make the most of it and head to thenearest beer-garden tout suite, waving our plastic flags with gayabandon and getting all teary at how beautiful Kate looks.

Unfortunately, the Deep Massive won’t be around for the RoyalWedding as we’re buggering off on holiday for a few days (insomething of a sulk at our lack of invite - thanks for nothing Liz,did that 10 seconds we spent within 2 feet of each other at theDerby mean NOTHING to you?!). Well, I say holiday, we’re off toBrighton to stay in a hotel which, according to its website, offers aFREE minibar, and to go to a couple of race meetings, and bodgeabout on the pier having a go on the groping grabber machine(we’re running low on prizes for ‘Where’s Groove’). Rock andeffing roll, non? Oh, and Groove’s coming with us, so you won’tspot him around this month I’m afraid.

We’re actually a bit sad to be missing all the festivities aroundhere, but we will be doing a Royal Wedding Gallery next month sosend in your snaps of Croydon being all community-fied, andprobably veeery drunk, and we’ll feature them then. So get yourbunting out, yeah?

Elsewhere in the mag this month we’re getting into the partyand BBQ spirit with some food and more importantly booze ideas,Auntie May’s back and we’ve a foolproof guide to picking a winnerin the Grand National. Ha, I was laughing even as I typed that...Plus we welcome our new royal correspondent Leighton D’Urteewho’ll guide you through the festivities here and further afield.

Right, I think that’s about it fromme, the sun is still out and I’m offto the pub to get some practicein. Whatever you end up doingthis bank-holiday-tastic April,have a good one, enjoy theweather, as long as it lasts, andwe’ll see you all next month witha bumper issue fitting in all thestuff we couldn’t this month. Pip-pip, avanti, allons-y and CHEERS!Angelaxxx

Contact Us:editor: angela ferraratel: 07910 506197 e: [email protected]

staff and contributors: auntie may, petal dunwoody,

advertising sales:call angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail [email protected]

publishing & design: deep-london

web hosting: europahost, 94southbridge road, south croydon, CR01AF, tel: 0845 644 1484.www.europahost.net

Happy Birthday:

Congratulations: Jo & Josie, the IndianCricket Team

R.I.P: Joe Morello, Peter Loader, EnzoCannavale, Jet Harris, Nate Dogg, SmileyCulture, Michael Gough,

deep online at: www.deep-london.co.uk • www.issuu.com •facebook deep-london • twitter @deep_london

April 2011Issue Eighty Eight

1Your Bonsai-Editor

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

LISTINGS:

THIS MONTH’SFEATURES:

What’s On Guide 19

A Right Royal Knees Up 4

Deep Guide to theGrand National 6

Food ‘n’ Booze! 10

Auntie May 14

Deep in the Shed 16

Month in pix 38

APRIL 2011

10

3

38616

4

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

4

“What a ghastly headline. If Ididn’t have a vastdelapidated country estate

and a pack of hounds to maintainI’d have nothing to do with yourodious little magaz... Oh, is this on?Ahem...

What ho, Deep-London readers!I’m delighted to be here to guideyou all through the marvellousscenes we can look forward to thismonth. A Royal Wedding, eh?Nothing quite like it for stirring theold patriotic blood. Of course, I’veknown Wills since he was knee-high to a corgi after spending atremendous three days with hisGrandad taking pot shots atendangered species in Africa.

I’d just finished directing acelebrity travel programme, ahobby of mine and something of atelevisual innovation in those days,not like today where any Thomas,Dickie or Harold can waltz offaround the globe on licence feepayer’s money. I can’t quiteremember exactly what it was wewere filming due to a touch of beri-beri, but I think it was ‘Thora HirdUp The Limpopo’, where a splendidtime was had by all, apart from thepoor local chaps who had to haulher Stannah from Sud Afrique toMozambique. Stoutly built littlefellers they were, but the lack of 3pin plugs did make it a tad detrop...

But I digress, we’re here ofcourse to celebrate the nuptials ofdear Wills and the, quite frankly inmy opinion, slightly common KateMiddleton, and in their benificenceI gather they’ve given all of youchaps some sort of day off. Iwouldn’t know, having never hadto work, but I trust you’re all

suitably grateful and rather thanspend the day in whatever gin-soaked hovel you usually frequent,you’ll be out on the streets, lookingsmart and waving some sort offlag. Splendid, that’s the ticket.

There’s nothing like a good oldfashioned street party, andapparently there are three going on- I’m sure there are many more, butthese are the only ones the non-resident general public are invitedto, I gather, or indeed, the onlyones the Deep chaps have beeninvited to, which says a lot aboutthem.

Firstly, two spiffing pubs in South

Croydon, the Earl of Eldon (I knewhis nephew, you know) and theCrown and Sceptre (suitably royal,well done) have banded togetherand closed their collective road,that of Junction, and are planningevents starting at 10am and goingall the way through until publichouse closing time. We’re reliablyinformed that they’ve gone buntingbonkers, so expect a realcommunity atmosphere downthere, to which you are all invited.Spiffing!

In the centre of your metropolis,two more inns, the Green Dragonand the Dog and Bull, have also

Your guide to what’s going on where on Will’s & Kate’s big day - Gawd Bless ‘Em - with Deep-London’s own Royal Correspondent, Leighton D’Urtee. . .

“Of course I’ve known Wills for yonks - firstmet him in Africa whilst on location for ‘ThoraHird Up The Limpopo’. Lovely chap - I baggedan ocelot with his Grandad. . .”

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

5

joined forces to hold a street partyon Surrey Street Market (whichsounds to me like there may becostermongers, of whom Idisapprove), followed by a gardenparty (of which I do approve aslong as there’s gin and the youngladies are in gingham). Not sure ofthe time of that one, but I’dimagine it’s an all day and nightaffair. Pop yourselves along toeither pub and they’ll furnish youwith more details, I’m sure.

Slightly further afield, the Arc inCaterham will be holding their ownstreet party on the green by thevenue, and promise a big cinemascreen to watch the event, foodstalls and ‘fun things’. This is aticketed event, which I won’t beattending as I disapprove of fun aswell. I also heartily disapprove of‘punk rock’ and I’m disappointedthat there isn’t more respect beingshown by the Alma in CrystalPalace, who are holding an all dayall night affair called ‘Anarchy atthe Alma.’ Disgusting, although Igather the music policy is ‘dub, soul,funk and balearic rhythms, 80'sgroove, electro-funk and houserhythms’, whatever that is, and theyhave a ‘BBQ’.

Indoors, you can watch theglorious day unfold from thecomfort of the Brief pub on George

Street, a beautiful British name orTaberners in St George’s Walk,another beautiful British name,both of whom have events runninginto the evening.

Speaking of the evening, itwouldn’t be a wedding without areception, and moving into theevening more hostelries are joiningin the revelry.

Firstly we have a fancy dressnight at the Ship entitled ‘It’s a NiceDay for a White Wedding?’. Wellyes, it is, at it happens. I expectthey want you to dress as thehappy couple or something equallyghastly and ‘amusing’. This blatant,yes, I’ll say it, TREASON, starts at8pm, I believe, and I’ll be sendingthe Beefeaters around to arrest theperpertrators shortly after.

Further into the great city ofLondon, there’s more of this ‘punk’nonsense at the Lexington, whofrankly should know better, with a,I can hardly bear to say it, ‘DirtyWater Royal Wedding Special’featuring some punk chappies andwhatnot.

The morning after the nightbefore should be interesting givenyou people’s propensity tooverindulge at the drop of a hat, sothe good people at the Glamorganhave organised an ‘hangover party’from 4pm, which I imagine is

around the time the happy couplewill be jetting off on honeymoonand the people of Croydon(seriously Cynthia, can we look upwhere this Croydon place is?) willbe arising from their addledslumber. Here you can enjoy aSouth African ‘BBQ’ and some livemusic. Tickets are available fromthe bar.

And lastly, we have a RoyalWedding After-Party, which issurely against the trades-descriptionact as the royals I’d imaginewouldn’t be caught dead inwherever Croydon is, atsomewhere called the ScreamLounge, featuring yet more ofthese ‘punk’ people. I despair -whatever happened to a nice cupof tea, with gin in it, and a sconebefore heading off to chase somefoxes across a field? That’s a properday out for the family. I really dothink that some of you people havejust stuck the words ‘RoyalWedding’ before whatever it is youusually do in a cynical attempt tocash in on our glorious future king’snuptials. Shame on you all...

...Right-o Cynthia, I’ve done mybit. Fill in the details, would you,and get my cheque from thatgrubby little chap when you’refinished and bring it to the club.Good girl. TTFN!”

“Croydon High Street onthe 29th, I’d imagine...”

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

6

Well, we say foolproof, but atthe end of the day it’s 40horses running across a field

jumping over stuff, so anything could,and frequently does, happen (see MikTubb’s well fancied pick for theNational’s pre-amble race last yearturning around and refusing to race - ifthey don’t wanna, they ain’t gonna).

But, as the Grand National isundoubtedly the greatest horse-race inthe world, and as we’re avid punters, wefeel we’d be remiss in our duties if wedidn’t point out a few tips and trendsthat everyone else seems to know aboutto at least narrow the field a bit. Wedon’t promise to pick the winner, oreven to get you a place, but people whospend far too much time and whoshould probably get out more seem tothink these stats make a difference. Andthen Mon Mome rocks in at 100/1 -c’est la vie, c’est la chance, c'est les

chevaux. Here we go then...• AgeConcentrate on horses aged 8-12.

Stamina reserves and jumping abilityare the two most crucial requirementsfor a Grand National winner. Youngerhorses have a poor record in the racewhich is probably because they tend tohave more speed than stamina.

As horses age they tend to lose speedand gain stamina. With so many difficultjumps, experience is also helpful whichagain hinders the younger runners.Older horses also tend to struggle in theGrand National as a horse needs to be inits prime to survive the tests of theWorld’s greatest race.Age Win Stats: • 10 of the last thirteen winners havebeen aged nine or ten.• In the last 87 years no horse olderthan 12 has won the Grand NationalAge Place stats: • No horse aged below eight or above

twelve has made the frame in the past10 years. We have to go back to 1940to find a horse younger than 8 that haswon the Grand National• Eight to eleven year olds have filledall 24 places in the last six years.

• ClassConcentrate on those rated between136 and 157 on the day of the race.Class Win stats:• Most recent Grand National winnersran off an offical rating of between 136and 157 with only Bobby Jo and LittlePolvier winning from out of thehandicap.

• WeightConcentrate on runners carrying under11st 6 lbs.

The weight a horse carries is probablythe most important statistical factorwhen analysing top class stayinghandicap chases. With the Grand

Don’t Push It & Tony McCoy, 2010National winners

It’s the foolproofDeep-London

Guide to picking awinner in the

Grand National...

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

7

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

8

National being the longest and tougheststaying handicap chase this is made evenmore important.

Since the war only five GrandNationals have been won by horsescarrying more than 11 st 5 lbs and twoof those were by the incredible RedRum.

Horses carrying more than 11 stone5lbs have tended to struggle. The GrandNational is such a long and tough racethat every pound which is carried makesa big difference. Weight Win Stats:• Only two horses in the last 25 yearshave carried more than 11 stone tovictory.Weight Place stats:• Last year, only one horse carryingmore than 11st 5 finished in the first 9home.

• StaminaConcentrate on those with provenstamina.

Stamina is a critical ingredient forwinning the Grand National. Every yearwe see very talented 2.5 milers that thepublic & press get behind, yet theynever seem to last home.

If a horse hasn't previously won overat least 3 miles (24 furlongs) then youare taking a big chance that its first longdistance win will be the Grand National.

The 2009 winner Mon Mome hadconfirmed his stamina by previouslywinning chases over three miles orfurther, including a prestigious handicapat Aintree over 25f and finishing secondover 28f at Cheltenham.Stamina Win Stats:• Gay Trip (1970) was the last winnerwho hadn’t previously raced over 3 miles(24f)

• Ability to Perform in TopRacesConcentrate on horses who have provenbig race ability.

It’s far safer to concentrate on runnerswith proven ability. These horses haveshown that they are capable of winningand that they can handle the conditionsof a competitive race. Concentrate onhorses with proven ability in a decentclass race Last year’s winner had provenhimself in good class races includingwinning a 43k handicap at Aintree.Ability Win stats:• 9 of the last 10 winners had won alisted or graded chase.• Every winner in the last ten years hadwon a race worth at least £17,000.

• Jumping ExperienceConcentrate on horses with jumpingability.

Horses with little jumping experiencedon't win Grand Nationals. To jumpthese large, difficult obstacles, a horseneeds to have the confidence behindthem which they have gained byjumping plenty of fences before.

Schooling on the training groundsdoesn't make up for real experience atthe race course - this normally eliminatesa few novices and those with littleexperience due to being off the coursewith injuries.Jumping Win Stats:• Each of the last 10 Grand Nationalwinners had run at least ten times overfences before the start of the big day atAintree.• None of the last ten winners hadfallen more than twice over fences intheir entire careers.

• Tiredness / Trained for theRace

A tired and over raced horse can't beexpected to beat 39 other horses in thetoughest race on earth. Horses whoaren't at peak fitness will struggle.

The Grand National is usually runaround three-four weeks after theCheltenham Festival and many horseswill have been trained so that they peakin time for Cheltenham, not Aintree.

This leaves them at a disadvantageand if they have been in a tough race atthe festival, four weeks or so might notbe enough time for them to recover.

In recent years only Silver Birch(second in the Cross Country), Bindaree(sixth in the William Hill Chase) andDont Push It (pulled up in the PertempsFinal) have gone on to win the GrandNational after racing at Cheltenham.Many others have tried and failed.

• BreedingMon Mome bucked the trend in 2009

by becoming the only French bred tohave won the Grand National for nearlya century. Admittedly, Gallic breeders didnot had anything like as many runners inthe past as they have had in recentseasons since the massive influx of theirhorses to these shores, but since 1998they have provided over 25% of therunners with only that one success.

Very few races in France are runbeyond 3 miles and so breeders have noneed to install strong stamina genes intotheir stock. French breds are also trainedharder from a younger age, so they canbe past their best when they hit 8 or 9.

• Trainers and JockeysIts best to concentrate on the proven

ability of the horse rather than thejockey and trainer.

Jockeys can win with their first run in

the Grand National whereas some of thebest national hunt jockeys have neverwon the race. A perfect example of thiswas in 2009 when jockey Liam Treadwellgave Mon Mome the perfect ride to winon his first ride around the Aintreefences. Some trainers have a betterhistory of training staying chasers andparticularly Grand National winners thanothers. In recent years Nigel TwistonDavies has trained 2 winners, and GingerMcCain has won 4.

• Favourites:In the last one hundred years only 11

favourites have won the Grand National.

So, there we go - If we take all thesetrends and apply them to this year’srunners we can knock out loads of

them, including favourite ‘The MidnightClub’ who’s only had 8 runs over fences.The horses that fit all the criteria and aremore likely types are below - after that,it’s down to you.

Here’s who’s left in it:BIG FELLA THANKS, NICHE MARKET,

SILVER BY NATURE, KILLYGLEN, OSCARTIME, GRAND SLAM HERO, WEST ENDROCKER, BLUESEA CRACKER, CAN’TBUY TIME, ARBOR SUPREME, GOLDENKITE

Also ALWAYS WAINING, SADDLERSSTORM, who may not run as they are,at time of going to print ‘reserves’.

Of course you could ignore all of thisand pick a horse with a name you like,which is probably equally as valid areason. My money, by the way, is onSilver By Nature, plus a couple of sidebets on Big Fella Thanks & Can’t BuyTime, but whatever you decide to pick -good luck!

NB. If anyone wins using this systemours is a pint next time we see you. Ta!

Editor’s pick: Silver By Nature

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

9

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

10

Hurrah, it’s a topical food anddrink page. Well, we saytopical, tenuous might be

nearer the mark, but we’ve done ourbest to cover all forthcoming bases.Whatever, this month (and early next)we have two consecutive 4 dayweekends to look forward to (one inwhich you have to eat chocolate - it’sthe law!), and if we can’t have a nicedinner and some felicitous booze then,well, you might as well kill me now. It’sa bank holiday bonanza, so let’s eat,drink and be merry, for tomorrow, westay in bed! As my old grandad usedto say, ‘pass me that bottle, it’s not asif I have to get up in the morning...’

Easy Lamb Kebabs: The sun has got his hat on (at themoment at least) so you may be toyingwith the idea of a Royal Wedding /Grand National / Easter / May Day /St George’s Day / Shakespeare’sBirthday / Insert spurious reason hereBBQ. And it’s lamb, which sort of fitswith Easter too. Oh yes, we’re good.

This recipe is ridiculously easy, getsbetter the longer you leave themarinade on, so is ideal for preparingthe day before, and is full of springzing.

Serves 4

You will need:• 1 kg of lamb meat, preferably leg,trimmed and cut in pieces for skewers- or just buy cubes of lamb• Bell peppers• Mushrooms• Onions• Anything else you fancy putting on

a kebab

• Kebab skewers

For the Marinade:* 1/2 cup of olive oil* Freshly squeezed juice of one lemon* 3 -4 cloves garlic, chopped* 1 teaspoon thyme* 1 teaspoon oregano* Salt and pepper

Method:1. Cut the lamb into pieces little biggerthan bite-sized, and set aside.

2. To prepare the marinade, mix theolive oil and lemon juice well, then addthe herbs, garlic, salt and pepper andkeep mixing thoroughly. Coat all piecesof meat well and place in the ‘fridgefor a few hours. Be sure to turn themeat a couple of times while inmarinade so it doesn t lose juiciness.

3. When you;re ready to cook yourkebabs, chop your vegetables intokebab sized pieces.

4. Grab your kebab skewers (if they’rewooden, run them under the tap for abit so they don’t catch fire).

5. Skewer the lot, alternating lambwith your chosen other bits, then putunder the grill, or on the barbie, or onthe griddle.

6. When grilling, be sure to brush witha little bit of olive oil each piece ofmeat to enhance its softness.

7. Serve on a bed of rice with grilledvine tomatoes, or however you want.

-------------------------------------------Coq Au VinWe here at Deep aren’t so naive tothink that this weather will last, sohere’s something for indoor cooking.Good for lining the stomach before thefestivities, although it does have quitea lot of wine in it. Readers of theDeep-London facebook page will haveknown this one was coming. I hopeyou’re suitably excited. And it’s Easter,isn’t it? Easter, eggs, chickens, you getthe idea...

This recipe is really easy, and incrediblydelicious. We didn’t use legs of chickenas it says, we just used chicken breastscut into chunks, which was absolutelyfine. If you have the inclination, reallydo give this one a go, it’s a corker!

Holiday-a-go-go!

I don’t care what yousay, THAT, is abeautiful coq

salad chilli sauce for you?

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

12

Serves 4 (or 2 massively hungrypeople)You will need:• 4 chicken leg portions• salt & black pepper• 2 tbsp plain flour• 2 tbsp sunflower oil• 1 oz butter• 4 oz smoked streaky bacon• 1 lb button onions (or pickled

silverskin onions)• 1 pint red wine• 1 chicken stock cube• 2 tbsp tomato puree• 1 clove garlic• 1 tbsp chopped fresh thyme or 1tsp

dried thyme• 8oz mushrooms

Method:1. Toss the chicken legs in seasonedflour until evenly coated

2. Heat the oil & butter in a flameproofcasserole dish or large frying pan.

3. Add the chicken and fry for 10minutes or until brown all over.

4. Remove from the pan and set aside.

5. Cut the bacon into small dice andpeel the onions, if using raw onions.

6. Add both the bacon and the onionsto the casserole or pan and fry forabout 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

7. Pour in the wine and allow tobubble for a minute or two.

8. Stir in the crumbled stock cube andtomato puree.

9. Crush the garlic and add to the dishor pan with the thyme.

10. Bring to the boil then return thechicken pieces to the casserole or pan,and lower the heat.

11. Cover with a lid and simmer gentlyfor 45 minutes.

12. Halve the mushrooms and add tothe dish or pan.

13. Simmer for a further 15minutes.

14. Serve with crusty bread.

NB. Use a full bodied French wine suchas Minevoire or Corbiere.

...................................................

Edinburgh Apple Royal Cocktail:Enough of this food malarkey, we wantthe booze! This cocktail was apparentlycreated for the Royal Wedding, so

that’s nice and topical. According towww.demijohn.co.uk, where we gotthe recipe it’s ‘a deliciously spring freshaperitif, with a distinctive taste ofapples and a hint of citrus and bringstogether the finest taste of Britishapples used in the production ofSomerset Pomona and the Springfreshness of marmalady Seville OrangeGin’. Somerset Pomona is available inWaitrose, and Seville Orange Gin canbe bought online fromwww.demijohn.co.uk, in a particularlynice bottle...

You will need:• 2 measures Somerset Pomona • 2 measures Seville Orange Gin • 1 very British Apple• Indian Tonic Water• Plenty of ice

Method:Add ingredients to ice in an oldfashioned whisky tumbler, top up withindian tonic water and garnish with aslice from a very British Apple. Cin-cin!

...................................................

Cucumber Collins:As far as we’re concerned, as soon asthe sun comes out, so should theHendrick’s Gin, so here’s a cocktailmade with it. Also quite aptly, you putthe cucumber in the drink, rather thanwaste it in the sandwiches...

You will need:• 1 1/2 oz Hendrick’s Gin • 4 1/2 oz Cucumber Puree

Method:To make cucumber puree - blend 1cucumber with 3 oz freshly squeezedlemon juice & 4 oz simple syrup.

Shake ingredients well and strain overfresh ice into a tall glass. Garnish witha long rod of cucumber.

...................................................

Limoncello Summer CocktailOk, we may be getting ahead ofourselves with the summer bit, but thisis a fantastic zingy summery refreshingdrink. Tip: If you want the bestlimoncello, it has to be produced inSouthern Italy (Sorrento, Amalfregion).

You will need:* A cocktail shaker* A tall beverage glass* Ice* 2 ounces good quality limoncello* 2 ounces of raspberry vodka* 2 teaspoons of fresh-squeezed

lemon juice* 2 ounces of champagne or light

white wine* 4 raspberries* Mint

Method:1. Add two raspberries to the cocktailshaker and muddle them (smash themup) with a spoon. Fill the cocktailshaker half full with ice.2. Add in the limoncello, vodka andlemon juice. Replace the lid on theshaker and shake for at least 30seconds. The goal is to have thelimoncello summer cocktail so chilledthat there are ice shards on the top ofthe cocktail when you strain it into theglass.3. Fill the tall beverage glass with freshice. Strain in the contents of thecocktail shaker.4. Add the champagne or white wineon top and give it a quick swirl to mix.Garnish with raspberries and one sprigof mint.

The limoncello summer cocktail packs apunch, so beware of drinking them tooquickly, especially in the sun. If youwant to lighten up your limoncellosummer cocktail, skip the champagneor white wine and add in cold, bubblyclub soda instead.

april11 8/4/11 9:39 am

13

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

14

Hello again folks. Well, hopefullywe’ve seen the back of winterand can look forward to some

warmer weather coming up, which willhopefully mean I lose fewer scarves andgloves than I have been of late, whichwill save me some money. I’ve beentaking the opportunity to get out ofCroydon this month and have dusted offmy Freedom Pass and ventured up totown for a change. My good friendsClive and Lynn were launching their newbook, The Forbidden Universe, at theKnights Templar in Chancery Lane, so Irocked up nice and early and got stuckin to the wine and buffet, and mingled

with some of the celebrities there. Irecognised the familiar voice of JohnGuerassio (you’ll doubtless have heardhim providing the voice of countlessanimals and aliens in cartoons andcomputer games), although I recognisedhim as he’s currently playing Columbo,somebody I have always dreamed ofmeeting. My evening of air kissing andsmall-talking was regularly punctuatedby the arrival of various familiar Croydonfaces and a very merry gathering ensuedwhere we discussed medieval burialarrangements and marvelled at the sightof a ten inch “mighty chip”.Unfortunately the elevated alcoholcontent of the night played havoc withthe walking ability of a couple of theguests (mentioning no names), and I hadto enlist the assistance of some friendlyunderground staff when they gotstranded the wrong side of the ticketbarrier at Temple tube and seemed tohave developed a useful inability to findthe right change for a ticket.

I returned to London the nextweekend for a birthday celebration dayout in Camden. I missed the initial meet-up in the World’s End but joined thecelebrations in the Hobgoblin, where weexperimented with using Cadbury’s MiniEggs as nipple enhancers, before

heading off for cocktails at happy hourin Bar 55. Now I don’t know about you,I understand basic nuclear physics, canprogram a video (or used to be able towhen they existed) and even have arough inkling of how the off-side ruleworks, but give me a cocktail menu andI’m totally flummoxed. There are just toomany choices, too many of whichinvolve Bacardi (I’m willing to bet you’venever actually met anybody who likesBacardi) and I live in fear of getting oneof those really tiny ones when I’ve paid£7. Is it any wonder I stick to beer? Isettled for a Strawberry Collins followedclosely by a Zombie but had to beat a

hasty exit when I knocked anothercustomer’s cocktail into her lap whileposing for a photo. We wobbled up theroad and round the corner to the SpreadEagle which boasted evil-smelling toiletswith the most unforgiving mirrors in theworld. Quote of the night has to be,“Don’t make that noise when I’msucking my pencil”, closely followed by,“No man, there’s too much finger”.

I know you imagine that Edith and Ispend all our time outdrinking and partyingbut, believe it or not,we do still have to doordinary things such asshopping and,occasionally, cleaning.Having said that, ashopping experiencewith May and Edith isnever a boringoccurrence and weusually manage toliven it up with a gameor two. Recently wehave been“parsnipping” whichinvolves getting rid ofitems youoverzealously put inyour trolley and

subsequently de-select by placing themabout the store in illogical locations. Forexample, if you spy a parsnip in thecondom isle or a pack of leeks in withthe nappies, it’s a fair bet that Edith andMay are not far away. We justify ourantics by reasoning that it must bring asmile to the lips of the supermarket staffas they return our wayward items totheir rightful place, thereby allaying theboredom of another day at the shelves.

My musical highlight of the monthgoes to Monday Acoustic Night at theShip. There’s always some unexpectedtalent to the found at this twice-monthlyevent, and recently I was stunned byGeorgia’s perfect rendition of the BritneySpears classic “Hit Me Baby One MoreTime” when she proved that this wasactually a heartbreakingly sad song andnot the jumpy up-tempo thing MissSpears has mistakenly been plugging.Add DI Keef and Richie Hudson into themix and you get an unmissable eveningof quality music for the price of a beer.

Anyway my dears, there’s beer to bedrunk and parsnips to be placed, so I’moff for more mischief and merrymaking.Until next time. . .

Auntie May returns next month. . .

Septuagenarian agony aunt cum rock mutton AuntieMay returns, and the chips are down. . .

what a whoppa!

This month we’ve been altruistically allayingthe boredom of supermarket staff by puttingitems from our trolleys back on the shelves inillogical locations. . .

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

15

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

16

Or, Beard & Sandals Monthly, or, Furry Animals, Plants & Stars, or, Tree-Huggers Unite.It’s the Deep-London Page Of Nature. . .

More pottering from the Deep-London shed, which iswarming up very nicely in the

sunshine, thanks...

Merely something of a heads upto start with, in that, from nextmonth, the Deep-London shed

will be HOME BREWING! This probablyill-advised foray into home-madealomohol will commence as soon as wecan get: 1) an old copper boiler; and 2)Sid James to be our Dad & Terry Scott tocome and live next door. I don’t knowabout you but we can’t wait...

Good news, creature-watchers! Thelast three years of hard wintershave prompted us at Deep

Towers to take an interest in our littlefeathered friends, and as you will haveread over the last few months we‘veencouraged you all, with gardens orwithout, to feed the many species ofbirds that adorn urban Croydon. Theresults of the recent RSPB’s Big GardenBirdwatch endorse how effective putting

food out has been in improving thesurvival rates of small birds in badweather. Compared to the count at thebeginning of 2010, another very harshwinter, this year’s figures see manypopular species making a sustainedrecovery in numbers. For instance, therewere 4.2 House Sparrows per garden (ina sample of over 300,000 gardens acrossthe country), this year compared to 3.8this time last. Other species improving innumbers include Starling, Great and BlueTit and the Chaffinch and Goldfinch.Richard Bashford, project manager of theBig Garden Birdwatch, said;

“We expected last year’s trend tocontinue [but] we had a very goodbreeding season due to the dry weatherin April and May.

“If enough people put out food andwater for small birds, it really can makequite a difference”. So there you are, it’snot just us being a flange of sandalworrying hippies, these things do make adifference. Always remember to keepfeeding in the better weather so thebirds know where the food is all yearround and be careful to keep the feederor table clean. Happy naturing!

Petal Dunwoody

Chilli peppers are easy to grow,even if you only have a windowsill. Our chilli is in a pot by the

window, and last year we got 2 big (andvery hot!) chillies from it.

When planting chilli seeds aim tospace them about 5cms apart in normalmulti purpose compost, ideally mixedwith some vermiculite. Then lightly coverthe seeds with about 0.5cm of compostand spray the tray lightly with water.Check them every day and spray with alittle water if they look a bit dry. The aimis to prevent the compost from dryingout rather than keeping it wet.

Place the tray either on a window sillabove a radiator or on top of the ‘fridgewhich will keep them slightly warmerthan room temperature.

Germination can take anything from1-6 weeks. Once your seedlings havepoked their heads out move them to aplace with a lot of light. Next monthwe’ll tell you what to do next...

With Astronomy Corner.The annual Lyrid meteor shower isvisible from about 16-25 April and thisyear peaks in the early morning of 22April. The best time to view from the UKwill probably be from about 01:00 BSTonwards, when the Moon will also haveset. The Lyrids are a reliable annualshower of bright fast meteors, somewith trains, so called because theshower's 'radiant' (the point from whichmeteor trails appear to radiate) is in theconstellation of Lyra, in the north-eastern sky as seen from the UK. TheLyrids are not generally among the mostspectacular showers, and usually onlyproduce between 5-20 meteors perhour. However, occasionally the Earthpasses through a thicker part of thecomet's dust stream resulting in a moreintense shower or 'meteor storm'. The Lyrids were also observed as farback as 687 BC, making them theearliest-known meteor shower.

Things to do inCroydon in your shed:

Watch The Skies!

Creature-Watch:

Putting food out is especially importantfor small birds like Britain's smallest,the Goldcrest, which is, as you can see,very wee indeed...

Shed Of The Month

Our April Shed Of The Month is Moo-Ma & Moo-Pa Ferrara’s ancient,reclaimed by nature, home to manycreatures and possibly a lawn-mower,wonder of South Croydon. There isactually a shed in there, honest - youcan just see bits of it poking out frombeneath the ivy. Legendary!See your shed here! Send a pic [email protected].

What to Plant Now:

the amazingcamouflaged shed...

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

17

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

18

CENTRALCROYDON:• All Bar One• Bar Red Square• Bar Se7en• Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head• Clocktower

(Tourist Info) • Dog & Bull• Fairfield Halls• George• Goose on the

Market• Gun Tavern• Green Dragon • Half and Half

Lounge Bar• Loop Lounge• Milan Bar • Mojama• Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle• Steelpoint Tattoo• Surrey Cricketers• Tiger Tiger• Timebomb

Clothing• Yates’s Wine

Lodge

EAST CROY:• Builders Arms • Glamorgan • Orchard • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info

Centre• Warehouse

Theatre

WEST CROY:• Bird in Hand • Sims Tattoos• Davys Wine Bar • Forbidden Planet• Fox and Hounds• Windmill

SOUTH END &SOUTH CROY:• Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Earl of Eldon• Edge • Folly

• Jalalis • Kays Off Licence• LA Fitness

(Royal Oak)• La Spezia Deli

(Old Pharmacy - Swan &

Sugarloaf)• Laithwaite’s

Wines (opp. Windsor Castle)

• Peking Tasty • Purley Arms • Rail View• Red Deer • Rupali• Ruskin House • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios• Stag & Hounds• Sth Croydon BR • Swan &

Sugarloaf • Txt Bar• Treehouse• Wheelwrights

Arms • Windsor Castle• Woodman • Zizzi

ADDISCOMBE:• Alma Tavern • Claret Free Hs• Cricketers

PURLEY:• Baan Thai• Brass Monkey• Coffee Bay

(by Purley BR)• Elliott’s• Jolly Farmers• Las Fuentes • Rectory• Purley BR• Purley Pool• Purley Oaks BR• Station Cars PURLEY WAY:• Gipsy Moth• Premier Travel

Inn Hotel• Green’s Gym

COULSDON:• The Pembroke

OLDCOULSDON:• The Fox• Tudor Rose

SANDERST’D:• Sanderstead BR• Stones Hair

Salon• Wine Cellar

SHIRLEY:• Cricketers• Crown• Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn

FORESTDALE:• Forestdale Arms• McDermott’s

Fish Restaurant

SELHURST:• Selhurst Arms• White Horse• Two Brewers• Lion Inn

THORNTONHEATH:• The Lord Napier

WOODSIDEGREEN:• Beehive

SOUTHNORWOOD:• Portmanor

KENLEY:• Kenley Arms

WHYTELEAFE:• Whyteleafe

Tavern

Advertising in Deep-London:

Prices from just £10 upwardsdepending on type, size andplacementall prices are per month and VAT exemptdiscounts available for block booking etc

Advert design service available

To advertise please call Angela the Editor on:07910 506197 / 020 8680 3558e-mail: [email protected]

Got something going on?We’re not psychic, people - let usknow! What’s on listings are FREE!

Call Angela on 07910 506197or e-mail:

[email protected]

What’s on? 19full weekly and daily guide

All our information was correct at the time ofgoing to press, but as the only certainty inlife is change, we suggest you check beforeheading out. The opinions and reviews whichfollow are those of the Editor and staff - ifyou have an issue to raise about them, pleasering us, rather than the venue.

Listings Index:Pick up your copyof Deep from any of these lovelyplaces:

Stockists:

Deep-London Readership:25,046 monthly

plus online at www.deep-london.co.uk

on facebook (deep-london).Follow us on Twitter:

@deep_london

GET YOUR EVENTLISTED: e-mail:

[email protected]

Last date forinclusion in May issue -

20 APRIL 2011

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

19

Every Day:• Market: Surrey Street(Not Sunday)London’s oldest continuously runningmarket since 1276, with fruit and veg, bitsand pieces, meat and fish, hot food, allsorts. Use it or lose it, people. Open Mon-Sat from ridiculously early... Surrey Street, Croydonwww.surreystreetmarket.com• Museum: Museum Of CroydonMonday - Saturday, 11am - 5pm(Closed Sundays and Bank Holidays)Permanent Galleries:Croydon History - Follow the story ofCroydon from 1800 to now.The Riesco Collection of Chinese Ceramicsis on permanent display in the RiescoGallery at Croydon Clocktower.The Croydon Art Collection contains over2000 paintings, prints and drawings.Depictions of local scenes and landmarksare stored alongside works by HenryMoore, Bridget Riley and Bengali poetRabindranath Tagore. Museum Of Croydon, Clocktower,Katharine Street• Wildlife: Beaver Waterworld We at deep are HUGE fans of BeaverWaterworld, and not just because of theamusing name. They’ve got birds, beavers,lizards, snakes, crocodiles, tons of otheranimals. A registered charity, BWW is alsoa rehoming centre. “Our aim at BeaverWater World Reptile Zoo is to be a refuge- a Noah's Ark for rare and rescuedreptiles”. Open EVERY Day except XmasDay - 10am to 5pm. Adults - £4.00, Children - £3.00Beaver Water World, Waylands Farm,Approach Road, Tatsfield, Nr. WesterhamKent. TN16 2JT, Tel: 01959 577747www.beaverwaterworld.com• Farm: Fanny’s FarmTo complement Beaver Waterworld...Farmshop, Tearooms and tea gardens,Childrens play area, Florists, Chickens, pigsand sheep, The famous treehouse,Landscape garden/garden centre, chickens,2 new vietnamese pot bellied pigs - Burtand Ernie - and sheep. Fanny's Farm Shop, is the perfect place toenjoy a cream tea, fresh coffee or aploughman's lunch featuring local cheeses.Fanny's features a wide range of localproduce to buy, including jam andmarmalade, honey, floral arrangements,pickle, mustards, fresh vegetables, baconand eggs, cakes and handmade gifts.Opening Hours - 9.00am to 6.00pm everyday including bank holidays, although wedo stop serving teas at 5.00pm.Fannys Farm Shop, MarkEdge Lane,Merstham, Surrey RH1 3AW

email: [email protected]: 01737 554444 http://fannysfarmshop.co.uk

.................................

1st Tuesday of themonth:• Live Music: Rob and FriendsJamming. From 8.30pm. The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street,Croydon, CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749For more events, find us on facebook!

1st Wednesday:• Kids: Iggy and Loong’s Under 5sUntil March 2011 (except January)10.30am, 11.15am & 12pm (30 mins). Join Iggy the iguana and Loong theChinese dragon for songs, games andstories in the Riesco Gallery. Aimed at the Under 5s.FREE! Just drop in.Riesco Gallery (ground floor),Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk

1st Thursday:• Live Music: The New Delta BigBandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazz atits best! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.• Gay: Quiz Monthly quiz night.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Comedy: Upfront Comedy ClubHosting a different line-up of blackcomedians every month. See Clocktowerwebsite for who’s on. “The mostenterprising black comedy promoters inthe country" The Guardian.8pm. £9.50 (£7.50 conc) Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St,Croydon. More info fromwww.croydonclocktower.org.uk

1st Monday:• Music: Folk/Blues Singers &Musicians NightNo need to book just come along to singand play! £3Croydon Folk and Blues Club,Ruskin House, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon,CR0 1BD. www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk020 8660 5919 or 0770 3210 795

1st Wednesday:• Kids: Under 5’s EventMeet the very soft and cuddly Iggy theiguana and Loong the Chinese dragonpuppets for stories and songsWednesdays 2 February & 2 Marchat 10.30am, 11.15am & 12pm (30 mins)Free, drop inVenue: Riesco Gallery (ground floor of theClocktower). FREE entry.Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon.

1st Friday:• Club: Groove OnFunk club.Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837www.treehousepeople.com• Poetry: Poets Anonymous Friday Poetry at the Fairfield Hotel Bar, 1Lansdowne Road, Croydon, Surrey CR92BN. Floor spots. From 8pm. £2 waged,£1 unwaged. Contact Peter for furtherdetails; [email protected], 020 86459956.

1st Saturday:• Music: DJ Rob DeltaPlaying Funk, blues, soul and psychedelia.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 6BRwww.ovaltavern.co.uk• Club: Retro-Rewind Get your platforms on and dust off thoseflares as John Lazenby of DISCO79.comand The Arc, transport you back in timeplaying hours of the best 60s, 70s and 80smusic guaranteed to pull you to the dancefloor. Concentrating mainly on the 70’sand 80’s disco era with a bit of 60’s soul,R&B, pop and rock, 70’s glam rock, 80’snew romantic and happy songs fromWham and the like to have you jumping tothe beat!£5 in advance or £8 on the door. Strictly over 21s. Doors open at 8pm and bar closes atMidnight. Booking line: 01883 330380. More infoemail [email protected] or visit www.the-arc-caterham.co.ukThe Arc, 39 Weston Drive, Caterham,Surrey, CR3 5XY

What’s On - Regular Every Day / Monthly Events:

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

20

1st Sunday:• Green: Heathfield Ecology CentreNormally open from around 10 o'clockuntil about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever issooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of eachmonth except for 1st January or whenthere is another event. Established in 1997and operates out of the Old Orchard inthe grounds of Heathfield House. Thecentre raises awareness of Croydon's greenheritage and helps to preseve theborough's biodiversity. For full details ofactivities and membership visitwww.heathfield-ecology.org.ukThe Old Orchard, Heathfield, CoombeLane, Croydon CR0 5RH

2nd Monday:• Group: Croydon WritersWriting group. 7.45pm. New Memberswelcome.. Annual membership - £16.00Meetings - £2 per meeting for members,£4 per meeting for non members. Moreinfo from www.croydonwriters.org.ukThe Library, Croydon Cloctower, KatharineStreet, Croydon

2nd Tuesday:• Comedy: Comedy Nightwith host Gareth and guest comedians.From 8.30pm. The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street,Croydon, CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749For more events, find us on facebook!• Group: Croydon Round Table ofInventorswas established to provide a network andforum for local Croydon inventors to shareideas and experiences. It is a non-profitclub, run by inventors and for inventors.Meetings take place on the secondTuesday of every month in the Town Hall,Katharine Street, Croydon from 6:30pm to9:30pm. Please check this event is onbefore heading out.

2nd Thursday:• Live Music: The BrianHetherington Jazz BandListen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

2nd Saturday:• Poetry: Poets Anonymous Saturday Poetry in the Primary Room,United Reformed Church, AddiscombeGrove, Croydon, Surrey, CR0 5LP. 2.30-4.00pm. £2.00. Bring your poetry to readand share. Contact Peter for furtherdetails; [email protected], 020 86459956

3rd Monday:• Music: Folk/Blues Singers &Musicians NightNo need to book just come along to singand play! £3. Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon, CR01BD. www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk020 8660 5919 or 0770 3210 795

3rd Thursday:• Music: The New Delta Big BandFrom Ellington to Herman, big band jazz atits best! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.• Gay: QuizThe Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL, 020 8683, 3104www.birdinhand.co.uk.

3rd Sunday:• Group: Heathfield Ecology CentreNormally open from around 10 o'clockuntil about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever issooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of eachmonth except for 1st January or whenthere is another event. Established in 1997and operates out of the Old Orchard inthe grounds of Heathfield House. Thecentre raises awareness of Croydon's greenheritage and helps to preseve theborough's biodiversity. For full details ofactivities and membership visitwww.heathfield-ecology.org.ukThe Old Orchard, Heathfield, CoombeLane, Croydon CR0 5RH• Music: ‘The Ukelele & OtherMachines’ Ukelele JamA relaxed, informal ukulele play-alongsession where you are the band! Everyonejoins in, playing songs from our ownsongbook, from 60s classics to Bon Jovi,Radiohead, The Smiths and everything inbetween. Bring your own ukulele if youhave one but we do have a couple ofspares if you want to try it out. Absolutelyall abilities welcome, from completenovices to good players. Everyone can playsomething, we guarantee it!See “the ukulele & Other Machines”websitehttp://ukulele.website.orange.co.uk formore details and link to all our songs. Green Dragon58-60 High St, Croydon CR0 1NA1st and 3rd Sunday of month, 7:30pm to 10-00pm, upstairs bar.

4th Tuesday:• Live Music: Open MicSimon Hughes's blues and acoustic OpenMike nights. We let you entertain us! From8.30pm. FREE!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 6BRwww.ovaltavern.co.uk

4th Thursday:• Live Music: The BrianHetherington Jazz BandListen or jive to the authentic rythyms ofNew Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road,Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

4th Saturday:• Music: DJ BennyManyHatsPlaying the way only Benny can.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon, CR0 6BRwww.ovaltavern.co.uk

What’s On - Regular Monthly Events:

• Music: ‘The Ukelele & OtherMachines’ Ukelele JamA relaxed, informal ukulele play-alongsession where you are the band!Everyone joins in, playing songs from ourown songbook, from 60s classics to BonJovi, Radiohead, The Smiths andeverything in between. Bring your ownukulele if you have one but we do havea couple of spares if you want to try itout. Absolutely all abilities welcome,from complete novices to good players.Everyone can play something, weguarantee it!See “the ukulele & Other Machines”websitehttp://ukulele.website.orange.co.uk formore details and link to all our songs. Green Dragon58-60 High St, Croydon CR0 1NA1st and 3rd Sunday of month, 7:30pm to 10-00pm, upstairs bar

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

21

Last Monday:• Science: Cafe ScientifiqueFree talks and discussions with a scientiston a subject of topical interest on the lastMonday of each month from 18:30 to20:00 in the Braithwaite Hall (CroydonClocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon) -no ticket necessary.

Last Friday:• Club: Histree HouseLast Friday of the month. Old-skool house.Open til 3am. Free entry for Treehousediners, otherwise £5.Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837www.treehousepeople.com

.................................

Every Monday:• Quiz: Green DragonWendy’s marvellous pub quiz.8pm every Monday. Jackpot round!£1 in, winning team gets the cash.Green Dragon, High Street, Croydon• Music: Community Choir 6:30pm, upstairsThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Club: Blue MondayBuy one hour of Pool and receive one hourfree of charge. Don’t worry if you are on aone-hour lunch break - we will give you avoucher to use another day. If you are nota member you can join at reception free ofcharge if you bring some ID along. Moreabout free membership. Half price on alldrinksMonday to Thursday 5pm to 7pmFridays 5pm to 9pm. Open Midday until11pm. Admission is free of chargeDress Code: No caps, sportswear, orhooded tops. Jeans and trainers arepermitted. Over 18s only - ID required.Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon,CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000www.looplounge.co.uk• Games: Poker NightPoker at the Jolly Farmers.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne)from 7pm til midnight. Free entry before10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

• Group: Croydon Natural Historyand Scientific Society meets on most Monday evenings from19:45 at the Small Hall of the UnitedReform Church in Addiscombe Grove, EastCroydon. For more information about thesociety go towww.greig51.freeserve.co.uk/cnhss/index.htm#about

Every Tuesday:• Music: Jazz Jam SessionEvery Tuesday Night at The Lord NapierJazz Pub. All welcome.The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 9-10pmAlso croydon roller derby are taking onnew skaters so anyone who's Interestedplease contact us at [email protected] [email protected] • Quiz: The Good Companions -Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz travels toHamsey Green every Tuesday from 8pm.The Good Companions, Hamsey Green,Croydon.• Quiz: The Pembroke8pm. 50p per person per round. Plus 2 for1 on pizzas.The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead ValleyRoad, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA020 8763 0800• Quiz: The Builders ArmsFun general knowledge quiz.The Builders Arms, 65 Leslie Park Road,Croydon, CR0 6TP, 020 8654 1803• Club: Cheap Sheep Tuesdays -DJ Magoo plays the most ripe Electro,DnB, Dubstep, Indie and Ska while youenjoy £1.50 PINTS, £1.25 SPIRIT MIXERS,£1 SHOTS + £2.50 VODKA RED BULLALL NIGHT. Doors 7pm til late, FREEENTRY before 9pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com• Music: Freedom of Expressionpresents the best in acoustic music,comedy, poetry and magic - see dailywhat’s on for who’s playing when. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Fitness: Yoga ClassesEvery Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 aclass for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome. 140 Brighton Road, Purley.0208 763 2629• Dance: Strictly Fun DancingBallroom Dancing every Tuesday.Beginners - 7pm. £6Improvers - 7.45pm. £6Social Dance - 8.30pm. £7

Buy two sessions for £11, 3 for £16.Arnham Gallery, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG.Box Office: 020 8688 9291www.fairfield.co.uk• Community: Women-OnlySwimming SessionsSouth Norwood pool: Tuesdays 8-10pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council

Every Wednesday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand SaturdaysPermanent Galleries: Local History -The development of our area from earliesttimes. It contains sections on Geology andfossils, Stone Ages, Bronze and Iron Ages,the Romans in East Surrey, an Anglo-Saxoncorner, medieval times and modern history.Also stages various transient exhibitions.Admission is free but donations arewelcomed.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org• Quiz: Mike K’s GeneralKnowledge QuizFrom 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledgequiz, non-members welcome!Caterham Club, 10A, Croydon Road,Caterham CR36QB• Quiz: Foxley HatchEvery Wednesday from 8pm. £1 entry perperson - winner takes all. Maximum 4 on ateam. The Foxley Hatch, Purley• Event: Talent NightTalent Night Open Mic. Every Wednesday.£200 prize! The Whyteleafe Tavern, 208 GodstoneRoad, Whyteleafe, CR3 0EEwww.whyteleafetavern.com• Pool: American 8-Ball PoolCompetitionTest your pool skills against Croydon’sfinest pool players as we launch a newweekly cash prize competition that will alsosee players gaining ranking points tobecome Croydon’s number 1 pool player.10 Week Ranking LeagueCash Prizes - £10 Entry FeeWeekly knock out competition• Winner receives 75% of entry pot(remaining 25% to go towards rankingleague)• Best of 3 frames• Semi final and final best of 5 frames10 Week Ranking League• Points given for progress in weekly

What’s On - Regular Weekly Events:

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

knock out competition.• Winner receives 75% of total pot• Runner up receives 25% of total potHalf price drinks 5-7pmMidday until midnight.Dress: No caps, sportswear, or hoodedtops. Jeans and trainers are permitted.Over 18s only - ID required.Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon,CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000www.looplounge.co.uk• Poker: King Of ClubsLoop Lounge Poker Night: It's the standardTexas Hold’em format that we all knowand love. This night is open to all LoopLounge members. To register an interestand book a place at our tables please visitour website. Open Midday until midnightHalf price on all drinks: Monday to Thursday 5pm to 7pm, Fridays 5pm to 9pmOpen Midday until 11pm. FREE entry.Dress: No caps, sportswear, or hoodedtops. Jeans and trainers are permitted.Over 18s only - ID required.Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon,CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000www.looplounge.co.uk• Dance: DancerciseKeep fit and meet new people at this funand friendly beginners dance class. Comeand join the fun every Wednesday.7.30pm. £3.50.Central Court, Croydon Clocktower,Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Dance: Swing Patrol swing dance classes, 7pm, £5.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Club: Dub Kultureheavy vinyl dubstep collective, featuringcontroller PISTONSBENEATH and guestDJS. Doors 8pm til late, FREE ENTRYbefore 10pm, £2 after. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 8-11pm. £1.50pints, £1.25 spirit mixers, £1 shots, £2.50vodka Red Bull.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Event: Film & Food plus...Films & Food every week, Poker, RockQuiz night and Live comedy on monthlyrotationSee www.myspace.com/screamstudios ordaily listings for what's on and when8pm, Free EntryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN• Music: FREE Classical Concerts Free lunchtime classical musicperformances at the Clocktower Croydon.

All performances start at 1.30pm. Bringyour own picnic, wear a tux if you like, orjust come as you are and enjoy your lunchin the incredible unique setting of theBraithwaite Hall at The Clocktower, agrade 2 listed building, island of heritage inCroydon’s town centre. George Mayne willpresent a specially curated free programmeof some his favourite classical pieces everyWednesday lunchtime throughout August.The Clocktower Cafe is launching a specialoffer to celebrate these lunchtime recitalswith 20% off all hot meals and a specialHigh Tea consisting of mini sandwiches,tea, scome and clotted cream for £3.95after the concert.Braithwaite Hall, Croydon Clocktower,Katharine Street, Croydon.www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Sport: Brighton DogsEvery Wednesday afternoon - GreyhoundRacing. Doors 1pm. More info fromwww.brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk• Music: Liquid Drum ‘n’ BassEvery Wednesday evening. Taberners Lounge Bar,St George’s Walk, Croydon.www.tabernersloungebar.com• Social: Croydon D&S Social Club -NEW!ARE YOU DIVORCED - SEPARATED - orWIDOWED ? ARE YOU LONELYStuck indoors with nowhere to go?THEN THIS IS THE CLUB FOR YOU!!!Why not come along and give it a tryPlenty of Car parking spacesDISCO, DANCING and VARIOUS EVENTSduring the year - Car rally, DartsTournament, Saturday Dances, Days out,Weekends away, Outings to Warners,Yarmouth, Isle of Wight, etc. etcWhatever your age, we get lonelyWhy not meet new people, make newfriends and enjoy yourselves.Bring your own alcoholNo admittance after 10.00pmSmart Jeans - NO TRAINERSMembership £10 per yearWednesday Admission £3.00Every Wednesday evening. 8-11pm. St Mary's Church hall, Wellesley RoadCroydon opposite Station RoadNear West Croydon Bus/Tram/TrainStation. www.croydon-ds.co.uk

Every Thursday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand Saturdays. See every Wednesday.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org

• Tattoos: Walk-In DayNo need to book in advance on aThursday only at Sims, get there early!11am-6pm. Sims Tattoos, 69 Windmill Road, Croydon,CR0 2XR, 020 8684 6967• Quiz: Two BrewersFrom 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: Purley ArmsEvery Thursday. Purley Arms, 345 Brighton Road, SouthCroydon, 020 8686 3792• Quiz: JF Big Quiz£1 per player, win prizes, league points,and maybe cash in our Open The Boxgame! New teams always welcome.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, PurleySurrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: Metal Thursday Metal Night at Scream LoungeAt least 3 top notch local and touringmetal acts every week at Scream, includingregular Grindhouse nights sponsored byTerrorizer metal magazine. Door priceincludes free entry to Black Sheep Bar rocknight before 11pmSee www.myspace.com/screamstudios ordaily listings for what's on and when.Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN• Quiz: Crown and SceptreFrom 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road,South Croydon, 020 8688 8037• Club: ALT.X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony Xplus guests. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals till10pm, plus £1 shots of Jager all night! FREE ENTRY before 10pm, doors 7pm..Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’son for who’s playing when. Every Thursdayand Sunday.Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pmSundays. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road,Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: Live JazzCheck monthly regular events for who’splaying when. 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE!The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286• Dance: Clog DancingFree taster sessions for newcomers to tryout some lively N.W. English clog teamdances - wear trainers or similar footwear.Musicians with portable acoustic

22


april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

23

instruments always welcome too. PLEASECALL BEFORE HEADING OUT, as someThursdays this night is not on. 8.30 pm.FREE! Call 020 8654 5211/020 8657 4056(eves.) for detailsUnited Reformed Church Hall, cornerEnmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood• Dance: Morris DancingNorth Wood Morris Men are teachingMen's Morris to complete beginners onThursday evenings at the Scout Hut inPurley Park Road at 8.15 pm andnewcomers are welcome(first call 020 8668 1830) seewww.northwoodmorris.org.uk• Dance: The South East LondonLindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop(Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's. Nopartner required and Caron and Stevespecialise in helping those with two leftfeet get together with those with tworight. Doors open 7.30pmBeginners Class 7.45pmIntermediate Class 8.30pmFreestyle (practice) 9.15pmThe Royston Club, 85 Royston RoadPenge, London, SE20 7QWwww.52ndstreetjump.co.uk• Club: Playhouse House music now has a homeA new weekly night takes form in theguise of PlayHouse. Bringing in fresh talentand fresh sounds this is the official start toevery weekend. Playhouse drinkspromotions all night. 9.30pm until 2.30amEntry £5 or guest list £3For guest list email full names and date inadvance to [email protected]. Smart/Casual Dress. Strictly Over18 years of age only; photo ID is requiredLoop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon,CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000www.looplounge.co.uk• Gay: Quiz New every Thursday, quiz night at TheBird. The Bird In Hand, 291 SydenhamRoad, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Thursday night - Greyhound Racing.Doors 6.30pm. More info fromwww.brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk• Club: Liquid Thursdays Any drink, all day £2! (large £1 extra)Music policy: Live DJ mixing Liquid Drum& Base from DJ Phyco. Come and try someof our complimentary tasty Nachos (whilestcoks last). Taberners Lounge Bar,St George’s Walk, Croydon.www.tabernersloungebar.com

Every Friday:• Music: DJsEvery Friday NightThe Folly, 13-15 Selsdon Road, Croydon,020 8688 3920 • Music: Live MusicAlternating live bands and karaoke everyFriday NightThe Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EF, 020 8688 2584 • Karaoke: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8.30pm every Friday night.Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF• Music: Oval DJsThe regular Oval faves, plus guests,keeping Fridays funky.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR020 8686 6023, www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: Live MusicEvery Friday night from 8pm. Plus 2 for 1on Corona and Jacques.The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead ValleyRoad, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA020 8763 0800

• Event: Wii NightEvery Friday evening.The View, 188 selsdon Road, SouthCroydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315.• Club: WTF? our decades of Indie, Alternative, Electroand Punk hits from DJ Zoe Urchin. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, FREE ENTRY before 10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Photography: Camera ClubCamera Club meeting in West Croydonevery Friday night welcomes visitors andnew members. Full programme of eventsincluding print/slide talks, portraitevenings, competitions, etc.Ample parking.Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visitwww.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk• Sport: Wimbledon Dogs Every Friday night - Greyhound Racing.First race 7.30pmThe turnstiles open at 6:30pm and therestaurant doors open at 6:30pm. General Admission PricesIf you just want to turn up on the nightthe prices are:* Adults: £5.00 (including racecard)* Children 12 - 17: £3.00 (no race card)* Children under 11: Free (no race card) Please note, pushchairs and buggies arenot permitted in the Stadium.Loads of admission offers and more info at

www.lovethedogs.co.ukGRA Wimbledon Stadium, Plough Lane,London, SW17 0BLStadium Telephone: 0870 880 1000• Club: Old Skool Garage Every Friday loop lounge brings you anight of old skool garage classics with thecheapest drinks promotion in Croydon.Residents DJ Kure and Stan da Man taketo the decks with special guest MCs everyweek.For table bookings, vip and info, pleaseemail [email protected] DJsDJ KureStan da ManGuest MCs every weekDrinks promotions all night10pm until 3amEntry £5Loop Lounge is an over 18s venue, photoID is required by all. No ID, no entry.Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon,CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000www.looplounge.co.uk• Club: Blow Techno, Electronic, Drum ‘n’ Bass,Dubstep, House, Mash Up across 3 rooms.Every Friday 10pm til super-late. £8 adv,£10 on the door.Egg, 200 York Way, King’s Cross, LondonN1• Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Friday lunchtime - GreyhoundRacing. Doors 10.30am. More info fromwww.brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk

Every Saturday:• Museum: East Surrey MuseumOpen 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdaysand SaturdaysSee every Wednesday.East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford RoadCaterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275www.eastsurreymuseum.org• Music: VariousLive music every Saturday Night.The Surrey Cricketers, corner of LowerCoombe Street and West Street, Croydon.• Market: Garden Market The Alma Garden Market hopes to createa vibrant bustling market place in the largeprivate courtyard of The Alma pub inCrystal Palace. It runs every Saturday withover 20 stalls selling plants & flowers,beauty products & treatments, exotic oils,olive oils, capers, strawberries, chocolates,jewellery, hand made cards, rugs,leatherwear, knitwear, deli produce & awide range of arts & crafts from localartists, plus hot food and collectables - andthe Jerk Chicken man will be there!


april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

10am - 4pmThe Alma, 95 Church Road, CrystalPalace, London SE19www.thealmapub.com• Music: Live Rock BandsEvery Saturday NightPortmanor, Portland Road, SouthNorwood, SE25 4UF, 020 8655 1308• Club: Linton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat-seekingmissiles. Never outgunned. The biggestdancefloor monsters from DJ LINTON.Because it's war on the dancefloor. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals till 9pm. Doors7pm, FREE ENTRY before 10pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Club: Tiger Tiger Tiger and Raffles Bar: with Capital FM DesPaul and Chris Brooks playing out the bestin commercial party and danceanthems.Groovy Wonderland: 70’s and80’s floor fillers. Club: Commercial House.Admission free before 10pm, £7 after.Guestlist free before 11pm, £5 after. Dresscode: Dress to Impress - No Sportswear.Tiger Tiger, 14-16 High Street, Croydon,CR0 1GT. 020 8662 4949. www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk• Music: New Orleans JazzQuality live jazz every Saturday Night.From 8.30pm. £6 entry includes free raffle.Blackheath Hockey Club, Rubens Street,Sydenham, SE6 4DH (behind Old RutlandPub)• Music: Various Live music most Saturday nights.The Good Companions, Hamsey Green,South Croydon. 020 8657 6655• Gay: Party NightEvery Saturday nigt is party night at TheBird.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Burlesque: Tassel Club Tassel Club Supper Club.Contact [email protected] fordirect bookings Proud Cabaret, London.www.proud.co.uk• Sport: Wimbledon Dogs Every Friday night - Greyhound Racing.First race 7.30pmThe turnstiles open at 6:30pm and therestaurant doors open at 6:30pm. General Admission PricesIf you just want to turn up on the nightthe prices are:* Adults: £5.00 (including racecard)* Children 12 - 17: £3.00 (no race card)* Children under 11: Free (no race card) Please note, pushchairs and buggies arenot permitted in the Stadium.

Loads of admission offers and more info atwww.lovethedogs.co.ukGRA Wimbledon Stadium, Plough Lane,London, SW17 0BLStadium Telephone: 0870 880 1000• Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Saturday night - Greyhound Racing.Doors 6.30pm. More info fromwww.brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk• Kids: Storytime with JennyLockyer Stories, songs, puppetry, activities and lotsof fun! It's aimed at 3-7 year olds, but allare welcome!It's every Saturday and it's FREE!1pm-3pm.Upstairs at the Green Dragon58-60 High Street, Croydon,CR0 1NA• Community: Women-OnlySwimming Sessions Thornton Heath pool: Saturday 4.45 -6.45pm. New Addington pool: Saturdays2.30-3.30pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council

Every Sunday:• Music: New Orleans JazzEvery Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The LordNapier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor,raffle, great atmosphere at one of thelongest running Jazz Pubs in Great BritainThe Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road,Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286• Music: Live Jazz Lunchtime Jazz every Sunday from 1pm.See daily what’s on for who’s playing thismonth. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’son for who’s playing when. Every Thursdayand Sunday.Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pmSundays. FREE entry!The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR020 8686 6023www.ovaltavern.co.uk• Quiz: The ViewEvery Sunday evening.The View, 188 selsdon Road, SouthCroydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315.• Quiz: Wheelwright’s ArmsFrom 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms,126 Southbridge Road,Croydon, CR0 1AF

• Quiz: Two BrewersFun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road,Croydon, 020 8684 3544• Quiz: The Spread Eagle Fun quiz with round prizes as well as mainprize. £1 per person. From 7pm. The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine St,Croydon, CR0 1NX, 020 8781 1134• Karaoke: The White HorseEvery Sunday Night from 7pm.The White Horse, 1 Selhurst Road,Selhurst, South Norwood, 020 8240 0948• Music: Open Mic Musicians (all instruments) welcome. Withone of our 4 fantastic hosts: Dave Mac,Rob Cushman, Neil Mac and Steve BrightThe Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley,CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Poker: The Alma Tavern From 6pm.The Alma Tavern, Lower AddiscombeRoad, Addiscombe, East Croydon• Music: Acoustic Sundays From classical to folk, poetry to unpluggedpunk rock, Scream Lounge's acousticnights guarantee you a night to remember.Most evenings are free entry, don't runlate, so you won't ruin your week with aMonday hangover! 7pm start. Seewww.myspace.com/screamstudios or dailylistings for what's on and when.Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN• Music: Sunday Jazz Lunch From midday until 4pm every Sunday, whynot come down for a delicious roast dinnerstraight from the club’s acclaimed kitchens(not compulsory for entry but highlyrecommended!) and enjoy a couple of setsof laid back music from some of London’sbest musicians and singers.Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club, 47 Frith Street,London W1D 4HTBox Office: 020 7439 0747www.ronniescotts.co.uk• Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 2pm till 4pmAlso croydon roller derby are taking onnew skaters so anyone who's Interestedplease contact us at [email protected] [email protected]• Gay: Open The BoxEvery Sunday at 7pm.The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Friday lunchtime - GreyhoundRacing. Doors 11am. More info frombrightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk

24

What’s On - Weekly Events / Daily Guide:

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

25

• Community: Women-OnlySwimming SessionsPurley pool: Sundays 2.30-3.30pm.The cost for a non-member adult swim is£3.30 per hour. For further information onmembership, activities, prices andtimetables go to www.fusion-lifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council

.............................

Thu 07 April• Sport: Grand National MeetingJumps horse racing from Aintree. LiverpoolDay. Big race over the National fences -Foxhunters' Steeple chase. Tickets and infofrom: www.aintree.co.uk• Sport: The Masters GolfFrom Augusta National Golf Club,Augusta, Georgia, United States. Showingon BBC TV.• Music: Golden Tanks, ForeverWednesday, The ValiantFrantic Promotions Present:Golden Tanks, Forever Wednesday, TheValiant, (Metal/Hardcore)Doors 8pm, £5 entryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Theatre: Lockerbie THE DAVID BENSON SEASONThree plays in repertoire written andperformed by the multi award-winningDavid Benson. More info from thewarehouse theatre website. 7.30pmWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, EastCroydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk

Fri 08• Sport: The Masters GolfFrom Augusta National Golf Club,Augusta, Georgia, United States. Showingon BBC TV.• Sport: Grand National MeetingJumps horse racing from Aintree. LadiesDay. Big race over the National fences -John Smith’s Topham Steeple chase. Ticketsand info from: www.aintree.co.uk• Music: Friday Night ShowcaseA new regular night showcasing the bestlocal bands of all genres, old and new,FREE OF CHARGEthis week... Junkyard Choirplus more tbc(Alt/Rock/Blues)Starts 8pm - UPSTAIRSFREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End,Croydon, CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com

• Music: The B Sharps 9.30. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley,CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: DJ DeanFrom 8pm. FREE!The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Theatre: Frankie Howerd THE DAVID BENSON SEASONThree plays in repertoire written andperformed by the multi award-winningDavid Benson. More info from thewarehouse theatre website. 7.30pmWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, EastCroydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk• Club: Harold’s Birthday Bash! £5.00 entrance fee to public.10.00pm - 4.00am. Taberners Lounge Bar,St George’s Walk, Croydon.www.tabernersloungebar.com• Music: Pure Evil with JonnyBolaxJoin the delectable DJ JONNNY BOLAXthis Friday at the Oval Tavern, for ashplendiferous evening of song and dance,as he fingers his way through a mouth-watering buffet of frug-out classics foryour glistening pleasure.8pm-midnite, free admission.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon

Sat 09• Sport: The Masters GolfFrom Augusta National Golf Club,Augusta, Georgia, United States. Showingon BBC TV.• Sport: The Grand National The greatest horse race in the world.4.15pm. Live on BBC tv. Tickets and infofrom: www.aintree.co.uk• Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct trainfrom East Croydon. More info and ticketsfrom www.lingfield-racecourse.co.ukSpring Family Fun day featuring theInternational Trial.• Sport: Ipswich Town v CrystalPalaceChampionship football. Kick off 3pm.Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk.• Poetry: Poets AnonymousSaturday Poetry in the Primary Room,United Reformed Church, AddiscombeGrove, Croydon, Surrey, CR0 5LP. 2.30-4.00pm. £2.00. Bring your poetry to readand share. All welcome. Contact Peter forfurther details; [email protected],020 8645 9956.

• Music: Junk Time PartyIt’s JTP’s 10th Birthday! Expect a MASSIVEparty, great tunes, madness and a bloodygood time had by all. 8.30pm. FREE entry.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon• Music: Dr Smutglove presents...A night of dirty, interactive rock, featuringLive Band Karaoke withDr Smutglove &Commissioner G plusPlaystation Rock Band challenge - On themain stage, turned up to 11!DOWNSTAIRSStarts 8pmFREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: Passionate Affair 9.30. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley,CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: DJ Rob Delta playing psychedelia, soul and funk, 8pm.FREE!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: DJ DeanFrom 8pm. FREE!The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Theatre: Kenneth Williams THE DAVID BENSON SEASONThree plays in repertoire written andperformed by the multi award-winningDavid Benson. More info from thewarehouse theatre website. 7.30pmWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, EastCroydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk• Club: Get Licked with DJ huckleberry Fin (£5.00 entrancefee ) 9.00pm-4.00am Taberners Lounge Bar,St George’s Walk, Croydon.www.tabernersloungebar.com

Sun 10• Sport: The Masters GolfFrom Augusta National Golf Club,Augusta, Georgia, United States. Showingon BBC TV.• Music: Dave O'Higgins Quartet Lunchtime Jazz with the Dave O'HigginsQuartet, 1pm, Free!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub

What’s On - Daily Guide:

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

• Music: Acoustic Sundaywith Dan Mulcahy, Bella Kadarsis, JoelBullen, Hil Walters, & more tbcLIVE IN THE LOUNGE BARStarts 7pm. FREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Theatre: Lockerbie THE DAVID BENSON SEASONThree plays in repertoire written andperformed by the multi award-winningDavid Benson. More info from thewarehouse theatre website. 5pmWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, EastCroydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk• Music: Delta LadiesImagine the high lonesome sound of amountain fiddle and bluegrass guitar, theknife edge of Delta slide guitar, the fluidjazz violin of Stephan Grapelli, add anamazing range of instruments and astunning array of songs and you have theDELTA LADIES..The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon• Music: Roger Fullilove & SingersNightFloorsingers & musicians welcome.ONLY £2. Everybody welcome! Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, Coombe Road, Croydon,www.folkandblues.org• Nature: Crystal Palace Bird WalkFree guided bird walk around CrystalPalace Park. Join the Rangers for a gentlewalk discovering the variety of wild birdsthat frequent Crystal Palace Park.Meet at the Information Centre, CrystalPalace Park, Thicket Road, Penge, SE208DT, Time: 9am-10:30am. FREE!More info Phone: 020 8778 7148

Mon 11• Sport: Plumpton Races Jumps horse racing. Direct train from EastCroydon. More info and tickets fromwww.plumptonracecourse.co.uk• Film: You Will Meet A Tall DarkStranger (12a) Part of ‘The Last Picture Show’.2011 US 98Mins. Director: Woody AllenStars: Anthony Hopkins, Naomi Watts andJosh BrolinUnsurprisingly Woody Allen has alwaysbeen popular at the David Lean, this is hislatest romantic comedy which follows apair of married couples Alfie and Helenatheir daughter Sally and husband Roy) astheir passions, ambitions, and anxietieslead them into trouble and out of theirminds. After Alfie leaves Helena to pursue

his lost youth and a free-spirited call girl,Helena abandons rationality and surrendersher life to the loopy advice of a charlatanfortune teller. Unhappy in her marriage,Sally develops a crush on her handsomeart gallery owner boss, while Roy, anovelist nervously awaiting the response tohis latest manuscript, becomes moonstruckover a mysterious woman .*Contains infrequent strong language,moderate sex references and violence.1.30pm & 6pm.Full Price £7.30, Concessions £4.80Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Film: This Prison Where I Live +Q & A with Director RexBloomstein Part of ‘The Last Picture Show’.91Mins. Director: Rex BloomsteinThis is a film about two comedians. MaungThura, better known as Zarganar, isBurma's greatest living comic. Relentlesslyvictimised by the Burmese military junta,he is now in prison. Michael Mittermeier,in stark contrast, is free to practise his artof humour and provocation as one ofGermany's leading stand up comedians.Two men joined by comedy and separatedby repression. We are joined by theDirector Rex Bloomstein for a Q & A afterthe screening. 8pm.Full Price £7.30, Concessions £4.80Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Music: ALL AGES Rock NightPins & Puppets + more tbcAll-ages welcome. Under 14s must beaccompanied by a paying adultNo alcohol permitted in the live roomUPSTAIRS. 7pm - 10pm. £4 entryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: Acoustic Nightask at the bar in advance if you want totake partThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Club: Soap Company DJs Exotic Sounds, Altered Grooves & AlienBeats. Visuals /Films to be decided on thenight... All kindsa stuff being played...IDM / Funk / Disco / J-Pop / Chanson /Ambient / Cinematic / Indie / Wonk / Dub/ Fried / DreamPop / Exotica / Daddy-O /Prog / Rope-A-Dope / Hip-Hop /Chiptune / DNB / Post Punk / Spliffbeats /Afrobeat / Acid / New Wave / Art Rock /Laurel Canyon / Tribal / House / Psych /ZeCheck our mixes to get a taste, we'll playit if we've got it :)

http://mixcloud.com/thesoapcompanyFree Entry before 10 - £2 after50% off all drinks(excluding champagne)from 7pm til midnightBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Tue 12• Sport: Leicester City v CrystalPalaceChampionship football. Kick off 7.45pm.Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk.• Film: You Will Meet A Tall DarkStranger (12a) See Monday 11th April. 1.30pm & 3pm.Full Price £7.30, Concessions £4.80Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Music: Freedom of Expression eaturing live acoustic sets from TrombonePoetry, Gagarin and Fit and theConniptions, 8pm, Free!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: ALL AGES Rock Nightwith The Theory Of Six Degrees, Press ToMeco, more tbc (Rock). All-ages welcome. Under 14s must beaccompanied by a paying adult. No alcohol permitted in the live room.DOWNSTAIRS. 7pm - 10pm. £4 entryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Games: Wii Games NightThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Theatre: Frankie Howerd THE DAVID BENSON SEASONThree plays in repertoire written andperformed by the multi award-winningDavid Benson. More info from thewarehouse theatre website. 6.30pmWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, EastCroydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk

Wed 13• Kids: Super Masks! Family craftworkshop 11am-1pm and 2-4pm. Free, drop-in.Enjoy family time together in a relaxedenvironment: create a fantastic mask orbonnet to take home. Suitable for childrenof all ages and their parents/carers.For drop in events, places will be allocatedon a first come first served basis on theday. In family workshops, all children must

26


april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

27

be accompanied by a responsible adult andall adults must be accompanied by a child.Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Film: You Will Meet A Tall DarkStranger (12a) See Monday 11th April. 8pm.Full Price £7.30, Concessions £4.80Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Film: Double Bill - Blithe Spirit &Tea With Mussolini + T with DavidLean? Double Bill: T with a Twist at the DavidLean? After the double bill, with ourcompliments, join us for T with David Leanin the Braithwaite Hall at the ClocktowerTea Dance. Blithe Spirit (UK): 1945 UK 95 MinsDirector: David Lean, Stars: Rex Harrison,Constance Cummings, MargaretRutherford.Out and out one of our favourite DavidLeans! An English novelist, Charles and hisnew wife invite a spiritualist medium fordinner in the hope of gathering enoughmaterial together for his latest book.However, a series of incidents occur duringthe course of the evening caused by amedium, the brilliant Margaret Rutherford,which result in Charles' first wife Elvira returning from the grave to make his lifemore than a little difficult and wreak havocon his new marriage. 2pmTea With Mussolini (PG): 1999 Italy UK112 Mins, Director: Franco ZeffirelliStars: Cher, Judi Dench, Joan Plowright,Maggie Smith, Lily TomlinSet in Tuscany from 1932-45 the film spinsthe range of Italy’s fascist regime theoutbreak of WWII and the arrival ofpeace. Five ladies take under their wing ayoung man. The story, scripted by JohnMortimer is based on a fragment ofFranco Zefferelli's memoirs. 4pmThere will be a short interlude betweenfilms. Starts 2pm.Full Price £12.50, Concessions £8Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Comedy: Free Live Comedy nightOur monthly comedy nights continue witha line-uop of top touring UK comics.Hosted by Pete K Mally. UPSTAIRSStarts 8pm. FREE EntryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Theatre: Lockerbie THE DAVID BENSON SEASONThree plays in repertoire written andperformed by the multi award-winningDavid Benson. More info from thewarehouse theatre website. 7.30pm

Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, EastCroydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk• Music: Midweek Music Club OTT …….. the band.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley,CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: RökkurróDOORS: 8pm. ADM: £5advAGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyLive acts: Rökkurró (Iceland) + Inca Gold +more Genre: alternative/pop/ambientWindmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens,London SW2 5BZ. 020 8671 0700www.windmillbrixton.co.uk

Thu 14• Kids: Creative portraits - familycraft workshop 11am-1pm and 2-4pm. Free, drop-in.Have fun sticking and gluing a specialportrait to take home. This uses a verysimple but surprising technique! Suitablefor all ages of children and theirparents/carers.For drop in events, places will be allocatedon a first come first served basis on theday. In family workshops, all children mustbe accompanied by a responsible adult andall adults must be accompanied by a child.Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Film: You Will Meet A Tall DarkStranger (12a) See Monday 11th April. 8.15pm.Full Price £7.30, Concessions £4.80Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Film: Gosford Park (15) The Most Popular Film ever screened atthe David Lean2001 UK 136 Mins, Director: RobertAltman, Stars: Stephen Fry, Richard EGrant, Helen Mirren, Emily Watson, KristenScott, Maggie SmithSet in the 1930's, this murder, mystery,satire revolves around an elegant huntingparty weekend at an English Countryestate, bringing together an aristocraticfamily and their friends - and possiblykillers. Packed with David Lean favourites a- la Agatha Christie. Written by JulianFellowes. 1.30pm & 5.30pm.Full Price £7.30, Concessions £4.80Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Music: Neverify + Bleed To This +Treason + Forever ExiledBleed To This Presents: Neverify, Bleed ToThis, Treason, Forever Exiled. (Metal).

UPSTAIRS. Starts 8pm. £4 entry Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: We Lie BeneathLive musicThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship

• Theatre: Frankie Howerd THE DAVID BENSON SEASONThree plays in repertoire written andperformed by the multi award-winningDavid Benson. More info from thewarehouse theatre website. 7.30pmWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, EastCroydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk

Fri 15• Sport: Chinese Grand Prix From Shanghai. Practice one 0300-0430;Practice two - 0700-0830 • Sport: Brighton Races Flat horse racing - turf. Direct train fromEast Croydon. Free bus from Brightonstation to the course.First Race: 4:30 PM Last Race: 7:40 PMEntry to this meeting is FREE! if you bookonline. www.brighton-racecourse.co.uk• Film: Brighton Rock (15) 2010 UK 111 Mins. Director: Rowan JoffeStars: Helen Mirren, John Hurt and AndySerkisJoffe's updates the original setting of thefilm from 1947 to 1964, when mods androckers brought their tribal differences tothe beach. Pier-lurking thug Pinkie Brownis a self-loathing sociopath, but also aquick study who sees opportunity when hisboss is murdered by a rival protectionracket. Andrea Riseborough is Rose, thenone-too bright tea girl whose testimonycould put Pinky and his mates behind bars.Recognising a fellow 'Roman', Pinkyinsinuates himself into her life butuncharacteristically hesitates to take it.'You're good, I'm bad - we're made foreach other,' he tells her, a line that Greenemight have been proud of.1.30pm & 5.30pm.Full Price £7.30, Concessions £4.80Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Film: The Rocky Horror PictureShow (12) + Special guest andcome as a character and get aprize for best costume! 1975 UK/US 99 Mins. Director: JimSharman, Stars: Tim Curry, Susan Sarandonand Barry BostwickThe weird and wonderful story of a newly


april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

engaged couple Brad and Janet whoencounter a problem when they car breaksdown in the rain. They look for help onlyto find themselves at the castle of Dr.Frank-N-Further, a place to stay is offered,but will Brad and Janet live to regretaccepting the invitation? The definition ofcult film, if you missed the NationalTheatres Frankenstein’s production perhapsyou ought to see this.Come as a character - there will be a prizefor best costume + special guest! 8pm.Full Price £7.30, Concessions £4.80Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Music: The Shines Live music from The Shines, upstairs, 8pm,Free!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Dj BennyManyHats playing indie, new wave, garage, ska andreggae, 8pm. FREE!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: The Ramonas(all-girl Ramones Tribute band) plusThe Devil Cocks, The Blow-UpsMarking 10 years since the sad passing ofJoey Ramone, the girls return to celebratethe music of the best band who everwalked the face of the earth!DOWNSTAIRS. £4 adv. Doors 8pmScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: DJ DeanThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Theatre: Kenneth Williams THE DAVID BENSON SEASONThree plays in repertoire written andperformed by the multi award-winningDavid Benson. More info from thewarehouse theatre website. 7.30pmWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, EastCroydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk• Club: Naked beat (drum and bass ) 9.00pm-4.00am Taberners Lounge Bar,St George’s Walk, Croydon.www.tabernersloungebar.com• Music: The Monikers 9.30pm.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley,CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sat 16• Sport: Chinese Grand Prix Practice three 0400-0500; Qualifying - 0700-0800 • Sport: World SnookerChampionshipUntil May 2nd..• Sport: Crystal Palace vScunthorpeChampionship football. Kick off 3pm.Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk.• R.I.P: Goodbye David LeanCinemaWe know it wasn’t perfect, but still,Croydon Council you should be ashamedof yourselves, we’re ashamed of you.Three last films:• Kids / Film: Gnomeo & Juliet (U)Autism Friendly Screening Garden gnomes Gnomeo and Juliet haveas many obstacles to overcome as theirquasi namesakes when they are caught upin a feud between neighbours. But withplastic pink flamingos and lawnmowerraces in the mix, can this young couplefind lasting happiness? These screenings are for people withautism and their friends or family. Becauseof the sensory sensitivities, some peoplecan find going to the cinema difficult.For these screenings the soundtrack isturned down and lights are left on low inthe cinema. People with other learning orsensory difficulties are welcome to attendthese screenings too. 11.30am. £4.Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Film: Made In Dagenham (15) 2010 UK 112Mins. Director: Nigel ColeStars: Sally Hawkins, Rosamund Pike,Miranda Richardson, Bob Hoskins, JamieWinstone, Rupert Graves, Geraldine James,Roger Lloyd-Pack, John Sessions1968 Rita lives in Dagenham and, likemany local women, she works at the Fordplant stitching seat covers. It's intricatework carried out in sweltering conditions.So why, she wonders, are the workers paidthe same as unskilled labourers? Is itbecause the work is unskilled? Or is it infact because they are women?Made in Dagenham shows how, at someexpense to their family lives, in a countryalready crippled by strikes, and with a littlehelp from colourful political firebrandBarbara Castle, the Dagenham womenmanaged to overturn an age old hypocrisy.1.30pm & 5.30pm.Full Price £7.30, Concessions £4.80Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk

• Film: Etre Et Avoir (U) FRENCH WITH ENGLISH SUBTITLES2003 France 104 Mins, Director: NicholasPhilibert, Stars: George LopezThought provoking and sensitivedocumentary film that takes a look inside asmall, single-classroom primary school inrural France that has become overcrowdeddue to staffing shortages. The film is atribute to the innocence of childhood andto the dedication of their teacher, 55-year-old George Lopez. His vocational talentand natural communication skills make himskilfully bring out the best in each child.8pm. Full Price £7.30, Concessions £4.80Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Music: Dj Rob Delta playing psychedelia, soul and funk, 8pm.FREE!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: DJ DeanThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Theatre: Lockerbie THE DAVID BENSON SEASONThree plays in repertoire written andperformed by the multi award-winningDavid Benson. More info from thewarehouse theatre website. 7.30pmWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, EastCroydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk• Music: Retro 9.30pm.The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley,CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk• Music: We GhostsA Swedish group playing acoustic ambientindie music with a hint of rock thrown in!.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: DJ Ollie Lailey spinning rare & Northern soul, funk anddisco, original 45's for your dancingpleasure till the early hours! Starts 9pm.The Alma, 95 Church Road, CrystalPalace, SE19 2TAwww.thealmapub.co.uk

Sun 17• Sport: Chinese Grand Prix Race - 0800 • Sport: The London MarathonFrom 9.45am. Showing on BBC TV.More info from:www.virginlondonmarathon.com

28


april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

29

• Music: Simon Spillet All-StarQuartet Lunchtime Jazz with the Simon Spillet All-Star Quartet (BBC Jazz Musician of theYear!) 1pm, Free!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Acoustic Sunday JamNightCome along and join in! plus open micLive in the Lounge bar from 7pmFREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Theatre: Kenneth Williams THE DAVID BENSON SEASONThree plays in repertoire written andperformed by the multi award-winningDavid Benson. More info from thewarehouse theatre website. 5pmWarehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, EastCroydon, 020 8680 4060www.warehousetheatre.co.uk• Club: Tease Rooms Burlesque, Cabaret, Comedy. With SLINKYSPARKLES, AURORA GALORE, RUBYDESHABILLE, FRANK SANAZI, DAISYCHAMPAGNE, DOXY MORON and yourhost THE DIVINE MISS EM. Doors 730pm,£5 advance, £7 door. *PLUS* Learnburlesque with Ruby Deshabille andBurlesquebaby. Introductory class beforethe show: learn how to tease and tantalisein our special taster lesson, then sit backand enjoy the night! Only £15 for bothevents.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music: Singers NightFloorsingers & musicians and everybodywelcome!Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, Coombe Road, Croydon,www.folkandblues.org

Mon 18• Craft: The Jane Austen Book Club(KNIT & SEW) From 6.30pm (drop in when you like).FREE!The first rule of the Jane Austin Book Clubis there is no Book Club. It’s part of agrowing number of feisty but friendlyknitting and sewing groups taking over theworld one stitch at a time. Everyone iswelcome. Wallflowers, vixens, vikings,mild-mannered librarians or superheroes.Bring some knitting or sewing andremember our most important rule – relaxand unwind (whether it is with a drink or a

ball of wool) and make new friends. Forother groups in London check outwww.stitchnbitch.orgCroydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Event: Spring Ale Festival Starts today!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: ALL AGES Metal nightUp River, First In/Last Out, Daybreak,Rough Hands. All-ages welcome.Under 14s must be accompanied by apaying adult. No alcohol permitted in thelive room. UPSTAIRS. 7pm - 10pm. £4.Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com

Tue 19• Event: Spring Ale Festival The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Freedom Of Expression is entirely open mic tonight, so insert yourname here.........., 8pm, Free!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: ALL AGES band nightwith Future System, 6VI, plus guests tbcAll-ages welcome. Under 14s must beaccompanied by a paying adultNo alcohol permitted in the live roomDOWNSTAIRS. 7pm - 10pm. £4 entryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Games: Wii Games NightThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Comedy: David Rowan + BrianGittinsResident compere David Rowan welcomesthree hilariously funny Comedians fromthe UK Comedy Circuit. Headlined by thewonderful Brian Gittins who recentlysupported Ricky Gervais - this is not a gigto be missed! Doors 8pm, Gig 8.30pm,Disco after until MidnightPre-book to avoid disappointmentLicensed bar * Food available * FreeParking * Over 18s only * £6.00 in advance, £8.00 on the doorThe Arc, 39 Weston Drive, Caterham,Surrey, CR3 5XYwww.the-arc-caterham.co.uk

Wed 20• Sport: Epsom Races Flat horse racing - turf. Direct train fromEast Croydon. More info and tickets fromwww.epsomdowns.co.ukGates open 12pm.• Event: Spring Ale Festival The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Sin 'n' Tonic + Bleed toThisThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Music: Ron Trueman Border 9pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road,Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Thu 21• Event: Spring Ale Festival andNew Menu DayThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Special Guest DJ tbc. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Easter Festival!with: esOterica, Surrounded By Disgust,Mordecai, Slabdragger, Deprevate,Snakebite, Surviving Silence, Bloodloss,Bleed To This (Metal)PART OF OUR 5-DAY EASTER BANKHOLIDAY WEEKEND FESTIVALDoors 5pm. £5 Entry, £15 for a 5 day pass.Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: DJ DeanThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Club: Slaughter House Fetish Ball Slaughterhouse returns to its roots. Notheme. No fancy dress. No frills, just filth.Those who wish to take part in acts of anabnormal nature, those who feelcomfortable sharing their kinks with othersand those who enjoy deviant physicalbehaviour are welcome. This is not astandard night and as such we will beenforcing a tight policy upon those whowish to enter. The dress-code will be strictfetish-wear only. Doors 8pm til late - £4before 10pm, £6 afterCHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 8-9, £1.50Jagermeister shots all nightBlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar


april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

30

Fri 22• Event: Good Friday - BankHoliday• Sport: Doncaster v Crystal PalaceChampionship football. Kick off 3pm.Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk.• Kids / Theatre: Wally Watthead Wally Watthead And His Lost Glow is anadventurous theatrical performance foryoung and old alike. On stage there’s anenlarged version of Polly’s bedside table.On it, we see a cell phone, a bedside lampand a picture of Polly. All is going well,until, one day, the light bulb on WallyWatthead’s head goes out. Wally’s friendSimon Simcard the multimedia cell phone,tries to help Wally search for his light.Their search is the cue for the magic tocommence. Wally Watthead gets up to allsorts of things, like when he relaxes a bittoo much - and ends up levitating in theair or shrinking himself down to Lilliputsize. Then things get totally out of handwhen the object of Wally’s affections, PollyPicture, starts to come to life.2pm & 7pm. Full Price £10, Concession £8Family Ticket (1 Adults + 2Children) £25Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street,Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk• Event: Spring Ale FestivalThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Dj BennyManyHats playing indie, new wave, garage, ska andreggae, 8pm. FREE!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Easter Festival!with: Size Nine, Banned Sauce, Los, SoapyJefferson, Magic Brother, Thortsen Fears,Jack Nosey, Shonanis, plus more tbc(Funk/Alternative/Rock)PART OF OUR 5-DAY EASTER BANKHOLIDAY WEEKEND FESTIVALDoors 5pm£5 Entry, £15 for a 5 day pass.Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: DJ DeanThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Club: DJ’S Smokey Jo and MartinJay choice fm DJ’S Smokey Jo and Martin Jay (Timeless classics ) 10.00pm-4.00amTaberners Lounge Bar,St George’s Walk, Croydon.www.tabernersloungebar.com

Sat 23• Event: St George’s Day• Event: Shakespeare’s Birthday• Event: Spring Ale FestivalThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Event: St George’s Day at TheDragon! We'll have proper English grub, Dragon-themed ales, George and the Dragon-themed Storytime (1pm, free) and 'This isEngland' night with Djs Ziggy andHoundDogGeoff...The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Event: St George’s Day at theMarket Celebrations down Surry Street includingMorris Dancers. All day. Surrey StreetMarket, Surrey Street, Croydon• Event: St George’s Day Party12 noon til 12 midnight.The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street,Croydon, www.royalstandard-croydon.co.uk• Event: St George’s Day PartySt George’s Day drinks offers, 11am-3pm.Mayoral visit at 1pm. Loads of otheractivities planned for the day.The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon• Event: St George’s Day PartyDrinks deals all dayThe Brief, George Street, Croydon• Music: Easter Festival!with: Bad Sign, The Lost Audio, The MerryGang, Tilt At Windmills, Electric Trees,Polaris Condition, Backyard Bully, plusmore tbc (Rock/Indie/Alternative)PART OF OUR 5-DAY EASTER BANKHOLIDAY WEEKEND FESTIVALDoors 5pm£5 Entry, £15 for a 5 day pass.Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Event: Easter Bunnies FancyDressWith DJ SwedishThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Music: Hats off to Led ZepplinHats off to Led Zeppelin’ have establishedthemselves as one of the UK’s finesttributes to the greatest rock band in theworld. You’ll feel like you’ve traveled backin time when you experience these fourtop class musicians on stage, recreatingLed Zeppelin’s magical concerts.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk

Sun 24• Sport: Plumpton Races Jumps horse racing. Direct train from EastCroydon. More info and tickets fromwww.plumptonracecourse.co.ukEaster Sunday Raceday - First race 2.05pm• Event: Spring Ale FestivalThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Jazz Fest Three Day Jazz Fest at the Dragon: TheGabriel Garrick Quintet, 1pm, Free!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Event: Easter Egg Hunt Find the golden eggs; but beware there'sforfeits as well as prizes! From midday....The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Dj Justified Egomaniac on the decks playing swing, blues androck, 8pm. FREE!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Easter Festival!with: Against The Flood, Heart of aCoward, Tidor, Here Lies Affliction, PressTo Meco, Silhouette of a Ghost, Tenyson,Foundations, Profane and the Sacred, InRuins, Olivia Sebastianelli & Band(Metalcore/Rock). PART OF OUR 5-DAYEASTER BANK HOLIDAY WEEKENDFESTIVAL. Doors 5pm. £5 Entry, £15 for a5 day pass. Scream Lounge, 20 South End,Croydon, CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Event: Bank Holiday Party Nightwith DJs Elmo and Dean - 1am barThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Club: Croydub Huge dubstep extravaganza. Details TBC.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Gay: Masie Trolette Drag show. Opens 1.30pm.Free entry until 3pm. £2.50 after. Maisielive on stage at 4pmThe Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com• Music: Phil Thorne & SingersNightFloorsingers & musicians and everybodywelcome! Croydon Folk and Blues Club,Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon,www.folkandblues.org


april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

31

• Music: Easter Sunday BBQDOORS: 4.30pm. ADM: £7.50advAGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyLive acts: Two Cow Garage + Crazy Arm +El Morgan + Dexy & The Hand Me Downs+ Peachfuzz + Tim GreavesGenre: country/punkWindmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens,London SW2 5BZ. 020 8671 0700www.windmillbrixton.co.uk

Mon 25• Event: Easter Monday - BankHoliday• Event: ANZAC DayFor events and info see:www.australia.org.uk • Sport: Plumpton Races Jumps horse racing. Direct train from EastCroydon. More info and tickets fromwww.plumptonracecourse.co.ukEaster Sunday Raceday - First race 2.20pm• Sport: Crystal Palace v LeedsChampionship football. Kick off 3pm.Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk.• Event: Spring Ale FestivalThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Jazz Fest Three Day Jazz Fest at the Dragon: TheDerek Nash Quartet, 1pm, Free!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Quiz: Wendy’s Wonderful RoyalThemed Pub Quiz! 8pm, £1 in.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Easter Festival!with: United Stoats Of America,Homebrood, Los Salvadores, Eclectic ArtsNetwork, & loads more tbc(Acoustic/Folk/Americana)PART OF OUR 5-DAY EASTER BANKHOLIDAY WEEKEND FESTIVALDoors 5pm£5 Entry, £15 for a 5 day passScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: Acoustic Nightask at the bar in advance if you want totake partThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship

Tue 26• Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct trainfrom East Croydon. More info and ticketsfrom www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk• Event: Spring Ale FestivalThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Jazz Fest hree Day jazz fest at the Dragon: TheNigel Price Organ Trio, 1pm, Free!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Games: Wii Games NightThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship

Wed 27• Music: Junk Time Party, TooMany Generals + Dirty ScavengerThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship

Thu 28• Sport: Brighton Races Flat horse racing - turf. Direct train fromEast Croydon. Free bus from Brightonstation to the course.First Race: 5:05 PM Last Race: 8:05 PMBEER & BALTI RACE EVENING - ticketsfrom £20. For more info visit:www.brighton-racecourse.co.uk• Music: A Day After Tomorrow +C Is For City + Beneath The TideSaviour Management Presents.Doors 7.30pm. £3 EntryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: DJ DeanThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Gay: Karaoke From 5pmThe Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road,Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104www.birdinhand.uk.com

Fri 29• Event: Royal Wedding BankHoliday!• Event: Royal Wedding Live on every bleedin’ telly channeleverywhere, probably.10.30am. Prince William and KateMiddleton travel to the service.

11am. Wedding service at WestminsterAbbey (meanwhile, the pubs are open!).12pm. The married couple will travel in acarriage procession to Buckingham Palace,crossing Parliament Square before goingalong Whitehall, Horse Guards Parade andThe Mall.12.30pm. The Queen will give a receptionat Buckingham Palace.6pm. “The Prince of Wales will give aprivate dinner at the palace for the couple,their close friends and family followed bydancing” (meanwhile, everyone else willbe bladdered, and probably dancing aswell). Gawd bless ‘em!• Event: Spring Ale FestivalThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Event: Royal Wedding StreetPartyLove it or hate it, it's an excuse for a rightroyal piss-up! The Dragon is joining forceswith the Dog and Bull to hold a streetparty down the Market... then later youare cordially invited to a Garden Party inthe pubs - so pop your posh frock on!Watch the action in either pub, activitiesplanned for Dog Beer Garden.The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street,Croydon AND The Dog & Bull, SurreyStreet, Croydon.• Event: Royal Wedding StreetPartyFrom 10am until pub closing, a street partydown Junction Road with the Earl of Eldonand the Crown & Sceptre in conjunction.They’re closing the road, and everyone iswelcome. We’re promised BUNTING-A-RAMA! The Earl of Eldon AND The Crown &Sceptre, Junction Road, South Croydon.• Event: Royal Wedding StreetPartyBig cinema screen showing the wedding,delicious food stands, fun things to do onthe green by the Arc!Book at box office or call 01883 330380The Arc, 39 Weston Drive, Caterham,Surrey, CR3 5XYwww.the-arc-caterham.co.uk• Event: Royal Wedding PartyWatch the big day on our screens - loadsof special events, decorations etcThe Brief, George Street, Croydon• Mucic: Gypsy Swing Dinner andDance7pm£25.00 (£22.50 concessions/members)including a delicious 3 course meal fromAldo. Music from Opus 4 a gypsy swingquartet hailing from the heart of Paris.Prepare to be transported back in time to aworld of romance, care-free spirit and


april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

stunning artistry. For more info on theband, visit www.opus4.net Book at Box Office or call 01883 330380The Arc, 39 Weston Drive, Caterham,Surrey, CR3 5XYwww.the-arc-caterham.co.uk• Music: Arcane roots + Suffer LikeG Did + Delta Sleep + SwimsA Splash Of Colour Here presents...Arcane roots, Suffer Like G Did, DeltaSleep, Swims.(Alternative/Math/Prog/Indie)UPSTAIRS. Doors 8pm. £5 EntryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: Black Water + Sworn ToOath + Wired Desire + The FallenFrantic Promotions PresentDOWNSTAIRS, Doors 8pm, £4 entryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Event: It's a Nice Day for a WhiteWedding?Fancy Dress Night with DJ SeanThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Club: Royal Wedding Party noon till lateTaberners Lounge Bar,St George’s Walk, Croydon.www.tabernersloungebar.com• Music: 'Anarchy at the Alma'Electric Discotheque Presents RoyalWedding Special: 'Anarchy at the Alma' We return after a long break with a veryspecial all day/all night party to kick offthe summer! What better way to celebratethe beginning of an extra long 4 dayweekend than to join in the street partyvibe at the Alma. We kick off at 2pm witha marquee, BBQ, Alma Garden Market anda sound system in the garden! Then from8pm we head indoors for the real dealuntil 4am!In the garden (2- 8pm): Dj's playing dub,soul, funk and balearic rhythms! BBQ andthe first Alma Garden Market of the year!Electric Discotheque regulars: Julian, Mark'Acid' Elsey, and guests,Odyssey &Wishbone (Never Stop the Party), Arinze(Heart and Soul)In the pub (8pm-4am): Dj's playing 80'sgroove, electro-funk and house rhythms!Electric Discotheque regulars: Julian,Damon, Mark 'acid' Elsey, Affected Jay and guests Natalie C (Kerfuffle), Paul Soul(Reverberations)The Alma, 95 Church Road, CrystalPalace, SE19 2TAwww.thealmapub.co.uk

• Club: Reel Music London's No.1 Movie Soundtrack ClubNight. REEL MUSIC is a 7 hour soundtrackspectac...ular. From the obscure to thesing-a-long classic, they have it covered.REEL MUSIC is the perfect opportunity toget dressed up, hang out with your friendsin an amazing venue and do somethingdifferent.On the night you can expect…• BIG SCREEN VIDEOS – Reel Musiccustom edit music videos for their tracks.So you not only get amazing music, youget visuals from the movies too.• FANCY DRESS – highly encouraged!Come dressed as your favourite filmcharacter… Or, on this occasion, we’llaccept Royal Wedding themed attire too!• OSCARS – for the best dressed Male &Female.• FREE POPCORN – it wouldn’t be cinemawithout it, would it?!• 50’S THEMED DINER – hungry? Grab asnack in Pulp Fiction surroundings.• POOL & TABLE FOOTBALL – pick up acue and show everyone the colour of yourmoney!• ARCADE GAMES – for some old skoolarcade action.• CINEMA THEMED COCKTAILS – forexample, grab yourself a ‘John Woo Woo’for extra action!• TEN PIN BOWLING – be ‘the Dude’ andplay a few frames as the scores play. Lanesare pre-bookable (or available on thenight) at an additional fee.• KARAOKE ROOMS – if you fancyproviding your own entertainment, youcan be the star of your own musical in anexclusive pre-bookable karaoke room (alsoavailable at an additional fee).• MOVIE SCORE CHILL OUT AREA – toomuch Dirty Dancing??? Relax to classicscores in the cinema chill out area.8pm-3am.Bloomsbury Bowling LanesBasement of the Tavistock Hotel, BedfordWay, Tavistock Square, WC1H 9EULondon.• Music: Dirty Water RoyalWedding Specialwith - Vic Goddard & The Subway Sect,Department S, London, The Ten-O-Sevens7pm £10, adv £8A punker 'celebration' for the happycouple featuring seminal post-punker VicGodard & The Subway Sect, 'Is Vic There?'hitster Department S, vintage punkersLondon and garage-punkers The Ten-O-SevensThe Lexington, 96-98 Pentonville Road,London, N1 9JB, 020 7837 5371www.thelexington.co.uk

Sat 30• Sport: Hull v Crystal PalaceChampionship football. Kick off 3pm.Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk.• Sport: 2000 GuineasThe first "classic" race of this year's flathorse racing season. The race is inNewmarket. The 2,000 Guineas is for 3-year old colts (male horses) and is shownon television on Channel 4 in the lateafternoon. See:www.newmarketracecourses.co.uk.• Event: May ProcessionAnnual procession to celebrate bothInternational Workers Day and the rites ofspring. The procession will go fromElmwood Road Croydon to Ruskin House,Coombe Road, Croydon via North EndCroydon. Bring your mates, bring a musicalinstrument etc. Assemble Elmwood Road,Croydon 11am - Rally at Ruskin House1pm• Event: Spring Ale FestivalThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Event: Royal Wedding HangoverParty The first Braai (South African BBQ) of theyear + live music from ‘Doodlebug’. From4pm. Great value tickets available at thebar.The Glamorgan, Cherry Orchard Road,East Croydon • Music: Dj Freeqboi andCherrybomb playing an eclectic mix of rock, metal andcheese, 8pm. FREE!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: K*nt & The Gangplus Elliot MasonThe Basildon filthmonger (and top 100chart superstar) is back!! Support fromsurrealist songwriter and Scream favouriteElliot Mason. UPSTAIRS. Doors 8pm£3 adv, £4 on the doorScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: The Royal WeddingAftershow Partywith... Rage DC, T & the Mugs, GallowsHumour, 16 Guns, Noxious Toyz, Washedup, Model Citizens. A special extendedBank Holiday punk rock show.DOWNSTAIRS. Starts 6.30pm. £7 entryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com


32

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

33

• Music: DJ DeanThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Club: Directors spring party free from 10.00pm -4.00amTaberners Lounge Bar,St George’s Walk, Croydon.www.tabernersloungebar.com• Music: Rock of AgesAnother great rock band to dance thenight away to.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk

Sun 01 May• Event: May Day• Sport: Surrey v Scotland Clydesdale Bank 40 Cricket. 1.45pm.The Kia Oval, Kennington, London.More info and tickets fromwww.kiaoval.com• Sport: 1000 GuineasThe second "classic" race of this year's flathorse racing season. The race is inNewmarket. The 1,000 Guineas is for 3-year old fillies (female horses). The race isshown on television on Channel 4 in thelate afternoon. See:www.newmarketracecourses.co.uk.• Event: Spring Ale FestivalThe Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: Martin Speak Quartet Lunchtime Jazz with the Martin SpeakQuartet, 1pm, Free!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: In the Swing Live music from In the Swing, 4-6pm,Free!The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NAwww.myspace.com/greendragonpub• Music: The First + FranKo +Mandrage + SuperkingFrantic Promotions ALL AGES present.(Alternative/Rock)All-ages welcome. Under 14s must beaccompanied by a paying adultNo alcohol permitted in the live roomDOWNSTAIRS. Doors 6pm. £5 EntryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: Bank Holiday Party Nightwith DJs Elmo and Dean - 1am barThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship

• Club: Bank Holiday D’n’B GOLDIE (Metalheadz, Worldwide),BAILEY (1xtra, Radio 1, Metalheadz),S.N.T. (Intanatty), POLEAXE (QuantumSoundz), SKOPES (Good Looking), MCFLUX (Intanatty), MC BLACKEYEDoors 8pm til late, £8 all night.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar• Music: Singers NightFloorsingers & musicians and everybodywelcome!Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, Coombe Road, Croydon,www.folkandblues.org

Mon 02• Event: May Bank Bank Holiday• Event: Jack In The GreenTraditional May Day celebrations inHastings. The Jack is released from theFishermen's Museum, from where there isa procession through the streets toHastings Castle. Following Jack are Morrisdancers, Giants and Bogies. Later in theafternoon Jack is killed, and the Spirit ofSummer is released. For furtherinformation, see: www.hastingsjack.co.uk.• CHARITY: Japanese TsunamiRelief Charity gigwith Clone, Camel Toe, Bleed To Thisplus more tbc. Japanese anime themedfancy dress, face painting, chrity sale andmore tbc. Doors tbc. £tbcScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com

Tue 03• See Every Tuesday etc

Wed 04• Sport: Surrey v Leicestershire County Championship Cricket. 11am.The Kia Oval, Kennington, London.More info and tickets fromwww.kiaoval.com• Music: Sky Harbour + RhiannonThe NightmareWildfire Exposure Presents: Sky Harbour,Rhiannon The Nightmare plus more tbcA new monthly showcase night hosted byWildfire Music bringing new bands toScream. Doors 8pm. FREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com

Thu 05• Music: FREE METAL NIGHTwith Seed Of Detest, Eyes Of Munity,comeoutfiring. (Metal/Hardcore)plus more tbc. Doors 8pm. FREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Club: ALT. X: FREAKSHOW -MONSTERS OF SCHLOCK! Special guest appearance from the world'smost extreme two-man sideshow comedymagic extravaganza! Direct from Canada -for one night only! Followed by Rock /Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony X plusguests. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 10pm,plus £1.50 shots of Jager all night!£2before 10pm, doors 7pm.Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Fri 06• Sport: Turkish Grand Prix From Istanbul Park Practice one - 0800-0930; Practice two - 1200-1330• Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - turf. Direct train fromEast Croydon. More info and tickets fromwww.lingfield-racecourse.co.ukLadies Day at the Derby trial meeting• Music: Friday Night ShowcaseA new regular night showcasing the bestlocal bands of all genres, old and new,FREE OF CHARGEthis week... Gabi & The Whoremoans,Goat, Fly This For Me, 3 Day Medicene,plus more tbc. (Rock). DOWNSTAIRSStarts 8pm. FREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: DJ SeanThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship

Sat 07• Sport: Turkish Grand Prix From Istanbul Park Practice three - 0900-1000; Qualifying - 1200-1300• Event: Brighton FestivalSat 7 May - Sun 29 May 2011A 3-week international festival of music,theatre, dance, literature and arts events inBrighton. See: www.brightonfestival.org andwww.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk


april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

34

• Music: Surrounded By Disgust +Dyscarnate + Happy Face + Once AWolfFrantic Promotions Present: Surrounded ByDisgust, Dyscarnate, Happy Face, Once AWolf. (Extreme/prog metal)DOWNSTAIRS. Doors 8pm. £5 EntryScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: PJ da DJthe best in metal, rock and alternativeThe Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD,www.marstonstaverns.co.uk/Croydon/Ship• Music: Robin Bibi and his BandPlaying blues, funk, soul, rock, reggae andjazz all rolled together, either performingsuperb blues and rock ‘n’ roll covers ororiginal material.The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, EastCroydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk• Music: Odd Box Records 2ndBirthday BashDOORS: 3pm-2am. ADM: £8adv/£10door. AGE LIMIT: Over 18s onlyLive acts: :The Lovely Eggs + The BlancheHudson Weekend + Blood Oranges +Evans The Death + Scumbag Philosopher +The Wendy Darlings (France) + Chapter 24+ Ace Bushy Striptease + The SweetNothings + Bastard Sword.DJs: Owain Baaneex, Rocker (DandelionRadio) and Paul (Scared To Dance)Genre: indiepop vs noisepopWindmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens,London SW2 5BZ. 020 8671 0700www.windmillbrixton.co.uk

Sun 08• Sport: Turkish Grand Prix From Istanbul Park Race - 1300 • Sport: Plumpton Races Jumps horse racing. Direct train from East

Croydon. More info and tickets fromwww.plumptonracecourse.co.ukFamily Raceday - First race 2.10pmLast meeting of the season.• Event: Bangla New Year FestivalCelebrations of Bangladeshi culture startingin the morning, when local children lead astreet procession, and continuing until theend of the afternoon. It takes place inWeavers Fields (next to Vallance Road) andAllen Gardens and in the area around BrickLane. For further details, see:www.baishakhimela.org.uk.• Event: Covent Garden May Fayreand Puppet FestivalPunch and Judy shows and related events,held in the gardens of St Paul's Church,Bedford Street, London WC2 (near CoventGarden, Charing Cross or Leicester Squareunderground stations). At 10.30am there isa procession around the neighbourhood ofCovent Garden starting at the churchgarden. In some years there is a Mass andPuppet Service in St Paul's Church (see:www.actorschurch.org). In the afternoonthere are Punch and Judy shows, otherpuppet shows and workshops, folk musicand dancing, clowns and jugglers (this is afree, family-friendly event). See:www.alternativearts.co.uk/events.• Music: Acoustic Sundaywith Mark Woods (album launch show)plus more tbcLive in the Lounge barStarts 7pmFREE ENTRYScream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon,CR0 1DN, 020 8667 0155,www.screamlounge.com• Music: Occasional String Band &Singers NightFloorsingers & musicians and everybodywelcome!Croydon Folk and Blues Club, RuskinHouse, Coombe Road, Croydon,www.folkandblues.org

Mon 09• Sport: Brighton Races Flat horse racing - turf. Direct train fromEast Croydon. Free bus from Brightonstation to the course.First Race: 2:10 PM Last Race: 5:10 PM2 for 1 Afternoon Racing - 2for1 offer onGrandstand & Paddock admission tickets!book online at: www.brighton-racecourse.co.uk

Tue 10• Club: Rockaholic - The Return Ladies and gents the time has arrived forRockaholic to be resurrected!!!Sick of other rock nights playing the sameplaylist over and over?Disenchanted by DJ's never playing yourrequests?Well this is the rock night where youcontrol the music thats played!!!Free entry, good music and best of allbooze, what more can you possibly askfor? ;-)Post all music requests on the rockaholicfacebook page and we’ll make sure they’relined up to be played on the night and ofcourse we will be around all night forrequests too!!!Bands: TBABlack Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.comwww.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

--------------------------------------------GOT SOMETHING GOING ON?

WE’RE NOT PSYCHIC - YOU HAVETO LET US KNOW TO GET LISTED - FOR FREE! -

E: [email protected]


Advertise your business or event with Deep-London Magazine and reach

25,000 people in and around Croydon every month!

Prices start from just £10 per month for classified adsAll ads are VAT exempt and all page ads are full colour

Please e-mail [email protected] call 07729 884 065

and we’d be happy to discuss your requirements

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

(1) Skies over South Croydon; (2) First impromptu rehearseal of ‘Mr Byrite and the Ten Pee Shovers’; (3) Fantastically lit trees inBristol; (4) & (5) The Deep Massive rediscover 70’s board game ‘Game of Dracula’ (6) Bristol Bridge at night; (7) Welcome to

the world! Elliot Forbes-Gifford with mums Josie and Jo; (8) The calm before the storm - a horse gets checked over behind thetrack before the Cheltenham Gold Cup.

1 2

3

6

9

4 5

7

38

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

april11 8/4/11 9:40 am

deep-london magazine april 2011

Documents