dealing with negativity
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This powerpoint was made from the Southern Ohio Medical Center.TRANSCRIPT
Dealing with Dealing with NegativityNegativity
Managing Your Own Emotional Managing Your Own Emotional ArousalArousal
A Presentation for Holzer Medical Center A Presentation for Holzer Medical Center LDILDI
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.October 22, 2004October 22, 2004
Why is this Why is this important?important?• We all spend a great deal of
time managing negative people.
• All leaders face challenges with their– Own sensitivity,– Their uncertainty about what
to do, and– Their hesitancy to act.
• This presentation will address all of these barriers to self-control.
• These challenges are not easy to overcome, but they can be mastered.
• Effective leaders will find a way.
• This presentation will suggest some practical strategies for managing your own emotional arousal.
• After listening to this presentation, you will be able to – Identify three
categories of challenges in dealing with negative people
– Describe three practical strategies for effectively managing your own emotional arousal.
– Explain why those strategies make sense.
– Explain how to deploy those strategies successfully.
What are some effective strategies for What are some effective strategies for
managing managing yourselfyourself when dealing with when dealing with negativity?negativity?• Analyze your past
performance.*• Identify your
vulnerabilities.• Recognize your own
emotional arousal.• Anticipate your instinctive
responses.• Take full responsibility for
your own feelings.*• Focus on remaining
emotionally detached.• Suppress feelings instead
of venting or ruminating.• Stop expecting difficult
people to change.*• Clarify others’ unpleasant
feelings.
• Acknowledge the counterproductive emotional context.
• Tend to the wounded.• Employ mental distractions.• Adopt the observer role.• Make timely notes as a
distraction.• Dictate a private memo.• Consult with a trusted
mentor or coach.• Become the dispassionate
investigator.• Seek confirmation that
negative reinforcement is indicated.
• Use role play to prepare for confrontation.
• Give yourself credit for progress.
AnalyzeAnalyze your past performance. your past performance.
• Why should you?– Reminds you that great
leaders are born, not made, but that the best leaders work hard to burnish their gifts
– Encourages leaders to focus on their strengths
– Reminds leaders who is in charge and who is responsible
– Emphasizes the need for continuous improvement
– Creates dissatisfaction with mediocrity
– Sets the leader apart– Renders life more satisfying– Provides insight into one’s
instincts and vulnerabilities– Demonstrates that the
leader need not be held hostage to others’ behavior
• How can you?– Keep a journal.– Create four columns.
• What happened?• How did I feel?• What did I do?• What might I have done?
– Ask others to critique your performance.
– Reflect on what a “perfect” leader would have done.
– Identify your strengths and opportunities.
– Focus on one significant change at a time.
– Focus on your feelings and their power.
Take full Take full responsibilityresponsibility for your for your own feelings.own feelings.• Why should you?
– Reminds you that blaming others for how you feel is a common leadership failure
– Puts responsibility where it belongs
– Decreases feeling of impotence
– Diminishes the power that difficult people have over you.
– Inspires other aggravated people to adopt the same approach
– Makes you accountable for fixing the problem
– Sets you apart from many leaders
– Teaches others that blaming others won’t wash
– Pressures colleagues to take personal responsibility too
• How can you?– Talk openly about your
feelings– Persuade others that their
feelings are their responsibility.
– Reframe unpleasant feelings as opportunities to be in charge instead a helpless victim
– Acknowledge your feelings on the spot
– Admit that feelings color perceptions—yours and others
– Tell stories about how uncontrolled feelings got you off track
– Tell stories about other leaders’ feelings
– Tell stories about how you repaired feelings-contaminated feelings
Stop Stop expecting expecting difficult people to difficult people to change. change. • Why should you?
– People are partial to their expectations even when patently unrealistic
– This often predisposes frustration and disappointment
– Permits leaders to predict behavior more accurately
– History, not hope, is the best predictor
– Disinclines leaders to take behavior personally
– Decreases the odds of recurrent disappointment
– Forces leaders to face reality– Encourages leaders to face
their own patterns– Gives a sense of peace with
acceptance– Invites leaders to clarify their
expectations
• How can you?– Recognize your repeatedly-
frustrated expectations– Admit your unrealistic
expectations publicly– Quit complaining and start
explaining– Focus on proper management
of current behavior instead of trying to change it
– Predict future behavior and encourage others to plan
– Come up with an unrealistic list of optional behaviors as a humorous distraction
– View the challenge of dealing with difficult people as job security
What have you What have you learned?learned?• Negativity is plentiful in most organizational
environments.• The best way to manage it is to begin with
yourself.• For most of us, managing our own emotional
arousal does not come naturally.• For some of us, it is nearly impossible.• But effective leaders understand how important
this is.• They work hard at it.• They rarely score a “10,” but they will not
settle for just scoring “1s” in incident after incident.
• These strategies can help.• But it takes real effort.
Where can you learn Where can you learn more?more?• Kendall L. Stewart, et. al. A
Portable Mentor for Organizational Leaders, SOMCPress, 2003
• Kendall L. Stewart, “Physician Traps: Some Practical Ways to Avoid Becoming a Miserable Doctor” A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress, July 24, 2002
• Robert Bacal, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Dealing with Difficult Employees, Alpha Books, 2000
• S. Michael Kravitz, Managing Negative People: Strategies for Success, Crisp Publications, 1995
How can we How can we contactcontact you? you?
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.Medical DirectorMedical Director
Southern Ohio Medical CenterSouthern Ohio Medical CenterPresident & CEOPresident & CEO
The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, Inc.Inc.
1805 27th Street1805 27th StreetPortsmouth, Ohio 45662Portsmouth, Ohio 45662
740.356.8153740.356.8153
[email protected] [email protected]
www.somc.orgwww.KendallLStewartMD.com
Southern Ohio Medical CenterSouthern Ohio Medical Center SafetySafety QualityQuality ServiceService RelationshipsRelationships Performance Performance
What What questions questions remain?remain?
www.somc.orgwww.somc.org