Basic Counselling

SkillsFor Busy School Staff

Aims of SessionWhat is (and maybe what isn’t)

counselling?To understand the importance of

school staff using counselling skillsCore counselling skills - verbal and

non verbalDemonstrate counselling skills

What is Counselling?

What is CounsellingCounselling enables people to discuss their problems and any difficult feelings they encounter in a safe, confidential environment.

People share and reflect on thoughts, feelings and behaviour, gain insights and perspective and ultimately find their own solutions.

Why is it Important for School Staff to use Counselling Skills?

Why it is important for School staff to use Counselling Skills

Student feels : HeardRespectedNot JudgedValued and Accepted

Enables : Students to share more easily Builds a trusting relationship

Student receives appropriate help and supportValidation and acceptance of feelingsUnderstand their behaviours

Improves : Communication Empathy ‘skills’ for both parties Staff’s

understanding of underlying causes of students’ behaviourStudents asking for help earlier

Self awareness of students and staff

What are the Core Skills of Counselling?

The Core Skills of Counselling

Listening – Verbal and non verbal, use your senses “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply” Stephen R Covey

Showing Empathy - Step into their shoes and see through their eyes

Being Non judgemental – Suspend your own values and beliefs and respect the other

Being Genuine and real – Helps to strengthen the relationship

How we use Counselling Skills?

ACTIVE LISTENING is focussing on what is being said and not said, NOT on what you need to say or doYOUR Non Verbal Listening: Sit/stand squarely

Open postureLean forward slightlyEye contactRelax

Notice THEIR non verbal cues – body language, expressions, hesitations

Use MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS – yes, OK, I see, uh-huh, mmmm, nodding while listening, smiling

Listen for the MEANING below their storyListen for what is NOT BEING SAID, SILENCES and

TONE

Questions: ask mostly open questions, only when necessary to encourage and deepen your understanding… what, who, describe

Reflect feelings: …. Sounds like you feel angry….hurt…overwhelmed (say a few words summing up the feeling during a pause)

Rephrase: …..Use your own words to rephrase content and feeling, offer back tentatively….. I’m hearing you say….Am I right that…so what you’re saying is….

Summarising: after a longer conversation, briefly and clearly describe the main points, drawing everything together

ActivityForm triads: speaker, listener, observerYou can use the skills sheetChoose a safe subject but one which is

causing you some concernContent is to remain confidential5 minutes speaking, 2/3 minutes

feedback to the listener from speaker and observer

Feedback – observer: what you saw and heard – speaker: what you felt – listener: anything you were aware of

Questions

Feedback sheets

Advice/support – email me or call me

Active Listening Body language – open posture, maintain eye contact, be relaxed

Minimal encouragers – ‘I see… OK…Yes…mmm’, nodding, slight smile

Reflect feelings – ‘sounds like you feel… you felt….I can see you are angry’

Rephrase – use your own words to offer back what you have heard both content and feeling, ‘am I right that… so what you’re saying is…’

Question – preferably open questions ‘what, how, describe’ to aid understanding for speaker and listener

Summarise – wrap up the main points clearly at the end of a longer conversation

Listen for the meaning beneath the story, use all your senses

Be aware of their body language, expressions, hesitations

Listen for what is not being said and their tone, notice silences