Conflict Management

Conflict Perceptions, Styles and Power

Perceptions Standpoint Theory

Originated with George Freidrich Hegel through observations of slaves and masters

Each has difficulty viewing conflict situations from the other’s perspective, the other’s standpoint

Those on the bottom of the social ladder have a clearer view of what is really happening because it is in their best interests to do so

Standpoint Sandra Harding (1991) explains that people

on the lower end of the social spectrum have more accurate views People with subordinate status have a greater

motivation to understand powerful groups than vice-versa

Economic security, survival, material comforts depend on understanding the powerful

Subjugated groups have no personal investment in maintaining the status quo; powerful groups do

Standpoint Donna Haraway (1988) coined the term,

situated knowledges to emphasize that knowledge comes from one’s social circumstances

Sara Ruddick (1989), for example, found that “maternal instinct” was derived from social groups of mothers and women who cultivate skills in nurturing. In other words, “maternal instinct” grows from where a person in situated in society

Standpoint Theory Hegel used the term “thrownness” to

suggest that all of us are thrown into a position in society

That position gives us a particular vantage point that others within the social system do not have

This suggests that all views are partial

Perceiving reality is confusing From one vantage

point the elephant looks like it has four legs

From another it looks like it has five

What vantage point is the “right” one?

What do we see here? A blob? A young woman? An old woman? An old man? All of the above

Making sense is difficult Sometimes

perceiving reality around us requires thought and attention

Still it is difficult to think in ways we are not used to thinking

We only see the surface No matter how hard

we try, we can not see everything

There is more to the reality around us than we think

Seeing things closer to the way they really are takes work

Working for Understanding As we try to shift our perspective by

standing in a different position Trying to see things from another’s point

of view Understanding emerges

Mindfulness We have implied that understanding

takes work We have a tendency to think on

autopilot We perform mechanically Being “mindless” is easy, and

comforting; we don’t have to think

Mindfulness Ellen Langer coined the term,

mindfulness and mindlessness The concepts are closely aligned with

Buddhist thinking Put very simply mindfulness is working

to be aware of other perspectives through examining the standpoints from which other people view reality

Thinking Mindfully in Conflicts In conflicts choices need to be made We can not respond on automatic pilot,

the way we have always responded We have to think of what style of conflict

management is right for each situation

Conflict Styles People typically fall into “conflict style

ruts” These are conflict styles where we feel

the most comfortable We tend to use them over and over The rut is comfortable and it is scary to

try something new

Typical Conflict Styles Avoidance

We ignore the conflict, sweep it under the rug and hope it goes away

Least preferred style because nothing gets done

Suppressed conflicts can emerge later and become detrimental to the relationship

Avoidance Identifying avoidance behaviors

People act too nice They attack behind the other person’s back The use joke or sarcasm to hide the real

issue They suggest the issue is “unimportant” The evade sensitive topics

Competition Competition sets up a win/lose

dichotomy Competitors are concerned with their

own issues and successes Negative conflict spirals result from the

use of this style

Competitive Tactics Dishonesty Hiding your own interests Shifting blame and responsibility Hostility Threats and bluffs Personally attacking the other person

Accommodation Bending over backwards to give in to

the demands of other people Not doing what you believe is right Allowing people to “walk all over you”

Accommodation Tactics Saying words like “It doesn’t really

matter” Using nonassertive gestural and other

behavioral patterns Not making eye contact Low vocal volume Hesitant speech patterns, hedges and

nonfluencies

Compromise Compromise is a win-lose position Not a complete loss, but not a full-

fledged win either It is somewhere in between

Compromise Tactics Saying things like “Let’s split the

difference” Parties are getting tired of negotiation

and compromise to make a quick resolution of the issue

Collaboration Ideal cooperative strategy Theoretically everyone emerges from

the conflict as a winner Win-win It takes time, creativity and effort

Collaborative Tactics Honesty Doing complete research on issues Use a problem-solving stance Involves all parties Seeks creative solutions for tough

problems Roll up shirtsleeves and work

Collaborators Listen well to others, so well that they

are articulate the other person’s position accurately

Flexibility is most important There are times when you may need to

use any of all of these conflict styles This is where standpoint theory and

mindfulness come in You try to see things from the other’s

position You are mindful of the situation so you

perceive it accurately

When to Use Avoidance When the issue is trivial When you really don’t care When potential violence threatens To let people cool down To gather more information

When to Use Competition Against other competitors who do not

respect other conflict styles. Once they do respect you, go to collaboration

In emergencies when quick decisions are necessary

When to Use Accommodation When you are wrong Make it right! When you really don’t care When you know you will build credits for

later issues that are more important to you

When to Use Compromise When complex issues need to be

resolved quickly As a “stop-gap” measure to revisit later To arrive at an expedient solution under

time pressure When opponents of equal power are

committed to equally exclusive goals

When to Use Collaboration When all parties need to

be involved to achieve buy-in to the final solution

To merge insights from diverse people

To achieve a win-win solution where everyone walks away feeling good about the conflict

To achieve consensus

In Summary Each of the conflict styles is useful

depending on the situation Although you have a style in which you

feel most comfortable work to obtain greater flexibility in how you respond to conflicts

POWER

Our Sources are Endless

Power Is part of the relationship You have power if other people value

what you have French and Raven isolated five sources

of power

Sources of Power Reward power: the power to give rewards Coercive power: the power to punish Legitimate power: the power that derives

from a position you hold Referent power: power you get from who you

know Expert power: power you receive because

you know something others don’t know

Other Research on Power Includes These Sources Control of tangible resources

Money, property, land Authority

Titles, ranks positions Expert knowledge Control of resources

Making work easier, ensuring cooperation

Power Sources Links to community and access to

people Endurance, stamina, will Cultural traditions and history Communicating skills Traditional logic and reasoning skills People skills and helping people bond

Power Sources Personal competence and dependability Self-worth, integrity and self-esteem An ethical sense of community and

morality Openness to wisdom through spirituality

Folger, Poole and Stutman, 1997

Power How many of these sources of power to

you possess? More than you imagine Using power wisely makes it easier to

resolve conflicts