Conflict…the Good, the Bad and the downright ….

Forbairt Post Primary, Feb 3, 2015/ ‘16

Warmth and CompetenceActive Facilitation

Active Harm

Admiration

Pity

Passive FacilitationPassive Harm

Envy

Contempt

Competence HighLow

War

mth

High

Low

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661306003299

Leading from the front...

Great leaders connect emotionally• Create a balance between strategic and intimate

relationships See bigger picture issues-logical, formal, highly

structured, protected, armoured –keep a safe distance Engage in the intimate interactions-interested in the

person not power, informal and humorous –’let the guard down’ –decision making is highly emotionally charged

Disagree and fight for alternatives –still maintain the hierarchical alliance (Dr Philip Matthews NCI)

Features of authentic leadership

• To move seamlessly between strategic and intimate

• Treat people in terms of potential rather than performance

• Intimate leadership needs to be spontaneous, to engage people, to have a laugh, to let the guard down

• Vital importance of trust (Dr Philip Matthews NCI)

What Kind of Leadership?

More recent research has this to say:

One of the most reliable indicators and predictors of true leadership is an individual’s ability to find meaning in negative events and to learn from the most trying of circumstances...

Difference is inevitable......

• ‘if you please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress’ Mark Zukerberg (Facebook)

Without some conflict………• Professional smugness• Focus on convergent thinking• Paucity of Innovation• Fear of Change • Teacher isolation• Teacher insulation• Orchestra

‘Too much homogeneity makes rich conflict impossible’.

Conflict is essential for Growth

• A driver of Change• Builds understanding of Difference• Fosters a culture of Open communication• Dissipates Anger and Frustration• Stimulates Professional Dialogue• Challenges the Status Quo• Motivates people to suggest ‘ANOTHER WAY’• ‘Jazz-band’

Positive conflict- a necessary ‘tension’ for improvement

How do you manage ‘creative tension’ for Change in your school?

PERS

ON

PROBLEM

PROCESS

Personality ConcernEmotions WorryAnger FalloutValues InterestsSkills Future Abilities PositionIdentity NeedsPerceptions Wants Social Status ConsequencesRole FearRelationships

Information Communication Discussion Inclusion Procedures

The Conflict Triangle

An Awareness

ofWhat is

A Vision of What could be

Managing CHANGE through positive CONFLICT

CREATIVE TENSION

Duration 30 second pitch 3 minute pitch 30 minute pitch

Where• Climbing the stairs• Staffroom

• Over Coffee in the Staffroom

• At the Photocopier• After school

• Meeting with DP• Meeting with AP’s/YH’s• Subject Dept. Meeting• Staff Meeting

When• On the way to Class• Waiting for the kettle

to boil

• With Dolphins/Puppies• With Hibernating Bears

• Key Calendar moments

Why• Creating curiosity• Sowing a seed• Gauging

FEELINGS/EMOTIONS

• FACTS• THINKING• PROS v CONS

• CONSENSUS/DESIGN• PLANNING• ACTION• WHAT WE DO NEXT?

Focus • Heart • Head • Hands

Think of a change you are considering in the school- one with the potential to cause some conflict . Have a look at the 30/3/30 handout to help you plan your strategy

Starting the conversation:‘ Might there be another way?’

Worries ? Thinking ? What might you do ?

Concerns ? Knowledge ? How do we begin? ‘Questions are the heart and soul of constructive conflict’

Thoughts on the groundwork• How connected am I to others? The critical importance of

the fundamental relationship...not a personal relationship but a professional, trusting one.

• Leaders get isolated if people are not being listened to....• Important to take the pulse:- (end of day/week activity)• Who have I lost touch with?• Who have I not spoken to?• Who has not sought my attention?• Who has not been listened to? (based on Séan Ruth)

Responding to Conflict

• Self Control ( Awareness, Self Talk) • Win/Win ( Needs first, solutions later) • Prepare• Listen and Clarify ( Focus on the

problem, not the person) • Explore Options • Discuss supports • Agree follow up • Record (Adapted from” Leadership and Liberation” Sean Ruth )

Listening

• ‘You can listen people into agreement a lot more quickly that you can argue them!’ (S.Ruth)

• Focus on the problem-useful phrasesLet me see if I understand what you are saying..Tell me more....Why do you think that will work....Focus on feelings not behaviours...Build relationships.... (don’t rush in to rescue)

Responding to Conflict

Win/Win!! What do you need?

Recognising ‘critical junctures’ when trying to mediate in a dispute between two people

Cognitive Shifts- misunderstandings/misinterpretations

Growing understanding- redressing previous assumptions

When fears and emotions are expressed

When specific issues/ needs/ interests are mentioned

Apologies

The outcome

The future

But when conflict turns toxic….• Individual Stress

• Absenteeism

• Staff Morale

• Education Dysfunction

• Stunting of Mission/Vision

The personal toll

• Small ‘t s’-humiliation, shaming ,aggression, embarrassment unkindness.....dealing with this using reason and logic fails to resolve it –a scar remains. Induce calm and develop an awareness of what you are experiencing ( the triggers / the origin) then seek solace/supervision?

Raising awareness of the personal toll

• Emotional fitness- ‘developing emotional fitness, literacy, maintenance

and depth is understood to contribute to sustainable personal and professional growth and school change’

Ordinary people doing an extraordinary job!!

Certain indisputable facts:-• We are all vulnerable• We will face challenges and encounter crises• We underestimate our capacity to cope

The ‘Myth’ of the Complete Leader

Recent research is encouraging:

‘hundreds of people have struggled under the weight of the myth of the ‘complete’ leader! It is now

becoming clear that an ‘incomplete leader’ who is authentic is likely to be more effective’

Ancona, Malone & Senge ‘In Praise of the Incomplete Leader (2011) HBR