[conciseness]create strong verbs (4)

8/8/2019 [Conciseness]Create Strong Verbs (4)

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Create Strong Verbs (4)

強有力的動詞

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範例 1

• OriginalNowadays, the life span of consumer electronics products isdecreasing due change of customers’ consumingconfiguration. Therefore, continuing to improvements of theexisting products is indispensable, including shortcoming

improvement, insertion of new technology and improvementto manufacturing process, in order to improve thecompetitiveness of products and lengthen products’ life span.

• RevisedConsumer electronics products have an increasingly shorterlife time given fluctuating changes in consumer preferences,necessitating continuous improvements in areas such asabating current limitations, incorporating advancedmanufacturing technologies to increase marketcompetitiveness and lengthening product lifetime.



範例 2

• OriginalOnce the products have demand of the modification, causingthe spare parts will change, lead to the fact the subsequentspare part is purchased and relevant production cost, products quality and reliability of products are influenced.

• RevisedConsumer demand for modification of products involveschanging spare parts more frequently, subsequentlyimpacting purchases, production costs, as well as productquality and reliability.



範例 3

• OriginalThe traditional part supplier selection method is onlyfocused on the cost fact, although the relevant cost ofthe products after causing the modification haveapparent reducing, quality and reliability of the products

make customers unable to accept.

• RevisedThe conventional part supplier selection method focusesonly on the cost factor despite apparently decreasingmodified product costs, leading to unacceptably lower product quality and reliability.



範例 4

• OriginalThe products after the modification are unable toform enough competitiveness on the cost,quality, reliability and the manufacturingcompany will be unable to survive.

• RevisedThe market for modified products lacks

competitiveness in terms of costs, quality, andreliability, ultimately threatening the corporatesurvival of manufacturers.



範例 5

• OriginalHaving higher levels of DDP (Due Date Performance) is a primaryobjective for those companies involved in multi-project environments.Despite of numerous academic research papers on improving DDPhave bee published and business also employs numerousimprovement approaches developed by industrial practitioners

including Lean, Six Sigma, product data management system (PDM),and theory of constraints, low level of DDP is still a major issue in amulti-project environment.

• RevisedCompanies involved in a multi-project environment highly prioritizeachieving high levels of due date performance (DDP). Despite

numerous attempts to enhance DDP and numerous improvementapproaches developed by industrial practitioners, e.g., Lean, SixSigma, product data management system (PDM), and theory ofconstraints, a multi-project environment highly prioritizes a low levelof DDP.



範例 6

• OriginalBlame excessive uncertainty for achieving difficult highdue date performance (DDP) in management multi- projects by most of project managers and engineers.Manage difficulty in multi-projects to achieve high DDP,

ninety percent of reasons been surveyed can besummarized as excessive uncertainty.

• RevisedMost project managers and engineers cite excessiveuncertainty as an obstacle to achieving a high due date

performance (DDP) in management of multi-projects.With respect to managing multi-projects to achieve ahigh DDP, excessive uncertainty accounts for 90% of allrelated difficulties.



範例 7

• Original Although reduce fuel energy changed to electricityenergy sources to reduce the ecological damage to theenvironment has become a world trend, but the use ofelectric power in Taiwan is far behind the Kyoto Protocol

specification, or some advanced countries in Europe andthe United States.

• RevisedDespite global efforts to reduce the transformation of fuelenergy into electricity-based energy sources in order to

reduce ecological damage, electric power use in Taiwanlags behind that in the Kyoto Protocol, as well as inadvanced European countries and the United States.



範例 8

• OriginalThe inability to know in advance product expiring to preparefor early treatment. But for the prevention of correction formore than the original predetermined criteria to increase thesafety factor and the number of spare parts, which makes

surplus of product quality and spares parts inventory raised,that causes manufacturing costs increased.

• RevisedThe inability to determine in advance product expirationmakes it impossible to devise an original predeterminedcriterion in order to increase the number of safety factors and

spare parts, subsequently increasing the surplus of productquality and spares parts inventory and ultimately raisingmanufacturing costs.



Further details can be found at

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[conciseness]create strong verbs (4)

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