comfortable cup

11
A Comfortable Cupof Tea A Symbol of and for the Sisters of Mercy Therese B. DeLisio. Ti* /hgt'To.-rer,rot VoJ- ry - No-A 1r* u) Whm Catherine McAuIey wasdy- ing, 'many of tln sisters gathered around her bedsidc to say good-bye and to Fray theprayers fo, tln dy ing. Not long before she died, at the end, of a long day of waiting, slw sa'idto one of the sisters: "Be sure you hnae a comfornblc cup of tea for them whm I'rn gone." ET)er since, the comfortable cup of tea hasbeen a symbol of thewarm and caring relationships whfuhwere at the fuart of CatherincMcAuley's Mercyu'ision.' ther than the Mercy Cross,2 which symbolizes the embeddedness of the Merry tradition within the larger Christian tradition, "a comfortable cup of tea," is per- haps the rnost popular and ubiq- uitous of Mercy symbols.Actual teacr:ps; pots, and associated items, aswell astheir imagesand likenesses in photography, art, and artifacts (such as candles, pins, refrigerator magnets, min- iatures, figurines, plaques, wall hangings, stamps, stickers,jew- elry, logos on T-shirts, and the like) are likely to appear any- where that Sisters and associates of Mercy are found. Why do Mercy Sisters and as- sociates $uround themselves so thoroughly with these "tea things" (teacr,rps, pots and re- lated objects and images)?If you ask them, as I did, many will say that "a comfortable cup of tea," symbolizeslove, friendship, con- versation, gathering, sharing, caring, comfort, relaxation, re- freshment, healing, wannth, wel- come, acceptance, inclusion, equality, generosiry grace, gra- ciousness, hospitality, the spirit of Catherine McAuley, Mercy heri- tage, identiry uniry and commu- nity.3 In a word, the cup is all about relationship.4 Tbe primary function of tea things within Metcy culture is to initiate, culti- vate,nurture, maintain, acknowl- edge, afiirm, enable, enrich, ex- Press, entend, empowe4, imagine, remembe[ and celebrate rela- tionship with God, Catherine McAuley, one another, the hu- man family (especially the poor relatives, women and children) and the world. Tea things are commonly used to create ritual environ- ments by their placement on al- tars and in prayer spaces.For women in particular, altars and sanctuaries are places set aside, not for sacrifice, but for the ex- pression of relationship with God and others.5 Tea things also play a major role in the so- cial ritual of gift giving, not only for specifically Mercy events and occasions(such as anniver- saries, commissionings, recep- tions into the community, tak- irg vows, moving into new ministries, and transitioning into positions of leadership), but for general occasions aswell (such as birthdays, Christmas, housewarmings, and specialac- complish- ments).6 Tea things are also a regular feature in the printed media with which Mercys communicate and ritu- ally interact with one another (such as in stationary note cards, graphics on various pub- lications, correspondence, no- tices, invitations, announce- ments and printed materials used in connection with Mercy gatherings, celebrations, wor- ship, and rituals).7 Tea things are commonly used to create ritual environrnents by their placement on altarsand in prayer spaces. For women in particular, altars and sanctuaries are places set aside, not for sacrific€, but for the expression of relationship with God and others. 29

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Page 1: Comfortable Cup

A Comfortable Cup of TeaA Symbol of and for the Sisters of Mercy

Therese B. DeLisio. Ti* /hgt'To.-rer,rot VoJ- ry - No-A 1r* u)

Whm Catherine McAuIey was dy-ing, 'many of tln sisters gatheredaround her bedsidc to say good-byeand to Fray the prayers fo, tln dying. Not long before she died, at theend, of a long day of waiting, slwsa'id to one of the sisters: "Be sureyou hnae a comfornblc cup of teafor them whm I'rn gone." ET)ersince, the comfortable cup of teahas been a symbol of the warm andcaring relationships whfuh were atthe fuart of Catherinc McAuley'sMercy u'ision.'

ther than the MercyCross,2 which symbolizesthe embeddedness of the

Merry tradition within thelarger Christian tradition, "acomfortable cup of tea," is per-haps the rnost popular and ubiq-uitous of Mercy symbols. Actualteacr:ps; pots, and associateditems, as well as their images andlikenesses in photography, art,and artifacts (such as candles,pins, refrigerator magnets, min-iatures, figurines, plaques, wallhangings, stamps, stickers, jew-

elry, logos on T-shirts, and thelike) are likely to appear any-where that Sisters and associatesof Mercy are found.

Why do Mercy Sisters and as-sociates $uround themselves sothoroughly with these "teathings" (teacr,rps, pots and re-lated objects and images)? If youask them, as I did, many will saythat "a comfortable cup of tea,"symbolizes love, friendship, con-versation, gathering, sharing,caring, comfort, relaxation, re-freshment, healing, wannth, wel-come, acceptance, inclusion,equality, generosiry grace, gra-ciousness, hospitality, the spirit ofCatherine McAuley, Mercy heri-tage, identiry uniry and commu-nity.3 In a word, the cup is allabout relationship.4 Tbe primaryfunction of tea things withinMetcy culture is to initiate, culti-vate, nurture, maintain, acknowl-edge, afiirm, enable, enrich, ex-

Press, entend, empowe4, imagine,remembe[ and celebrate rela-

tionship with God, CatherineMcAuley, one another, the hu-man family (especially the poorrelatives, women and children)and the world.

Tea things are commonlyused to create ritual environ-ments by their placement on al-tars and in prayer spaces. Forwomen in particular, altars andsanctuaries are places set aside,not for sacrifice, but for the ex-pression of relationship withGod and others.5 Tea thingsalso play a major role in the so-cial ritual of gift giving, not onlyfor specifically Mercy eventsand occasions (such as anniver-saries, commissionings, recep-tions into the community, tak-irg vows, moving into newministries, and transitioninginto positions of leadership),but for general occasions as well(such as birthdays, Christmas,house warmings, and special ac-complish- ments).6 Tea thingsare also a regular feature in theprinted media with whichMercys communicate and ritu-ally interact with one another(such as in stationary notecards, graphics on various pub-lications, correspondence, no-tices, invitations, announce-ments and printed materialsused in connection with Mercygatherings, celebrations, wor-ship, and rituals).7

Tea things are commonly used to createritual environrnents by their placement onaltars and in prayer spaces. For women in

particular, altars and sanctuaries are placesset aside, not for sacrific€, but for the

expression of relationship with God andothers.

29

Page 2: Comfortable Cup

30 Di Lisio: A Comfortable Cu,p of Tea

Not unlike crosses and me-norahs, tea things are deeplyembedded in the everyday mate-rial world of Mercy communitymembers. Tea things tend toblend into the local sceneryeven as they help to color andtexturize it. To offer a case inpoint, I havejust inventoried myown home, which I share with aMercy associate. This, to my ownsurprise, is what I discovered.

Living Room: a miniature tea-pot that lives on my piano withother "favorite things."

Dining Room: a classic style RoyalAlbert china teapot with twomatching cups and saucers; a"Boyd's Bears" figurine of tr,vofemale bears having ateaparty;another Royal Albert teapotshaped like a comfortable easychair occupied by u bear hold-irg u tiny teacup; four small tea-cup and saucer prints on thewall; a miniarure crystal tea ser-vice, a miniature porcelain teaservice, a miniarure cup andsaucer on a stand; one lrish-im-port teacup, three teacups andsaucers of different shapes, col-ors, and designs.

Kitchen: two full-sized teapots inthe shapes of different kindsof houses; two miniature tea-cups and saucers; two mugsand tea bag holders on whichare printed: "Catherine'sComfortable Tea;" a smallgold teapot tea bag holder; asmall pewter teapot magneton the refrigerator; our every-day teapot always on the stove.

Office: a miniature teacup andsaucer; teacuP note cards(some designed by Mercy art-ists), note pad and stationary;

a teacup magnet; an acrylicstand-up frame holding apiece of graphic art createdand given to me by Sister Vir-ginia Farnan (Brooklyn),bearing a transparent teacupwith Catherine McAuley's im-age inside of it, and the super-imposed text: "The cup was nolonger separate fro* herself . . .the poar . . . no longer sipped fromthe cup in her hands. They feastedfro* the brewed cup of her life! Besure eaeryone has a comfortablecup of tea."8

Most of these items were giftsfrom Mercy Sisters and associ-ates. We also have an inventoryof a half-dozen teapots, cups,candles, and pins (purchasedopportunely at bargain prices)to be given away as gifts sometime in the future. My home isnot atypical. All except one ofthe Sisters and associateswho re-sponded to this study reportedthat they have one or more ofthese types of items "on display"in their homes, have either givenor received such things, or thatthey "collcct" them as objects ofdelight. Things associated with"a comfortable cup of tea" aresimply part and parcel of ourmultitextured, multicontextualmaterial lives.

Good Humor and Joy

The giving, receiving, display-ing, and using of tea things has a

certain enjoyable, lighthearted,and even playful quality about it.Several Sisters and associateswith whom I have been in con-versation in connection with thisstudy have taken particular de-light in reminding me of the "in-side story" that a "comfortable"cup of tea means, among otherthings, that the tea is "spiked"with Irish whiskeyle The fact thata splash of levity is mixed in withthe deeper meaning of the sym-bol in no way dilutes-but en-hances-the rich flavor of Merrycarried in the cup. Catherineherself is remembered andmuch beloved for her good hu-mor, clever wit, and willingnessto play. In her letters to her Sis-ters, she reminded them to"dance every eveningl"-ns1just to keep warm, but to buildamong them a relationship ofunity and community in the"comfort" of one another's hos-pitable good company. Thesequalities of life, among the manymeanings symbolized by "ucom-fortable cup of tea," are material-ized in the way the symbol is both"played with" and "prayed with"in material Mercy culture andritual practices.

According to Mury C.Sullivan, R.S.M., "The offeringof hospitable tea to guests," inthe literal sense, "is a longstand-ing, worldwide tradition of theSisters of Mercy."lo The bodily,sensory and social experience ofdrinking and sharing "a com-

Things associated with "a comfortable cupof tea" are simply part and parcel of our

multitextured, multicontextual material lives.

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Di Lisia: A Cwnfortable Cu,p of Tea 31

fortable cup of tea" materiallygrounds and reinforces the sym-bolic significance of material ob-jects and images associated withthat experience.l l Sister PaulaDiann Marlin (Baltimore) recallsthat when she was a Heritagetour guide at the Mercy Interna-tional Centre in Dublin, a"morning tealprayer ritual waspart of every retreat experi-ence." Associate Rita Retzlaff(Brooklyn) writes about an eve-ning ritual she experienced as aretreat guest at the centre, oneshe found to be "especiallymeaningful"-and enj oyable.

We had spent time reflectingand touring "Catherine'shouse." We ended up in"Catherine's parlou4" whichwas set up for tea. At each ofour places was a "cup of tea"and "words of wisdom" onplace cards. Then Catherine [ali,keness, I presumef, came toserve us tea. We each read ourwords of wisdom to each otherand then "danced" together.We had a fabulous time]2

"A comfortable cup of tea" hasbeen drunk from-literally,symbolically and ritually-in avariety of imaginative ways. As-sociate directors Maureen King(Brooklyn) and Kathleen Schiro(New Jersey) shared their joint

recollection of a teacup ritualthat took place at a regional as-sociates conference in the sum-mer of 2000:

We brought a teacup with uswhen we arrived, we put theteacup at one of six tables thatwere set up for "a tea party."No one knew at that pointwhose teacup was whose. Thenext day after Sheila [Carney]spoke about Catherine, wehad to walk around and find ateacup that we liked and sit atthat table. Once the table was

The bodily, sensory, and social experience ofdrinking and sharing"a comfortable cup oftea" materially grounds and reinforces thesymbolic significance of material objects

and images associated with that experience.

full, we drank tea from the newones we chose while we talkedabout our memories of tea andthe significance of it in ourlife. The common themeswere warmth, hospitality, fa-miliarity, family, comfort. Wetook them home with us as agift from one to the other. Onthe last day, we found the per-son whose cup we chose andhad tea with them while we lis-tened to their story about thecup and why they chose tobring it and also we talked atthat time about what broughtus to and-qhat keeps us a partof Mercy.l3

Women's Gathering

On another occasion, PatriciaBlack and Eileen Lennon, twoformer Sisters of Mercy whowere the planners-to-be of aMercy Femin'ist Network gatheringin Brooklyn, happened to beshopping in a mall when theyspotted Emilie Barnes's popularbook, If Teacups Could Talk.raThis book includes not only tea-time recipes, but also the storiesofwomen's lives and their mem-ories associated with teacups.Patricia recalls, "When I saw thedisplay, I immediately associ-ated it with Catherine's comfort-able cup of tea." Patricia andEileen bought the book and,months later, used part of it in

the creation of a ritual that rn-cluded, among other things, atea party.

Everyone brought their ownteacup. The planners providedtea bags with homemade"tea-tags." The tags containedquotes such as "Life is a cup to befilled, not drained;" "Teaquenches tears and thirst;" and'A woman is like a tea bag. It'sonly when she's in hot water thatyou realize how strong she is."The ritual included an introduc-tory conversation about comingtogetheq a blessing-prayer be-fore the tea, a reading from lfTba-cups Could Talk (in which Barneswrites that the whole experienceof "preparing and enjoying tea isa ritual in itself " and away to re-fresh the spirit); the serving of teato one another; a sharing of sto-ries and memories while drink-ing the tea; their reflecting to-gether on the fragility of teacupsand of life and of the necessity totake risks anyway (as didCatherine McAul.y); and a clos-ing prayer focusing on the nvo el-emental essentials needed tobrew a cup of tea: fire and wa-ter-symbols of CatherineMcAuley's "fiery passion" for thepoor, and of the "river of Mercy"that is her continuing legacy. Inthis ritual of remembering, bless-ing, serving, and sharing-remi-

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32 Di Lisio: A Cvnfortahle Cup of Tea

niscent of the action that takes

place in Eucharistic liturgy-participants experienced Cath-erine's spirit in the sharing of "a

comfortable cup of tea."

Contemplative Prayer

Teacups have also been used in-teractively and as environmentalsymbol-objects for contempla-tive prayer. In their 1996 book,Praying with Catherine McAuley,which features the image of asteaming hot cup of tea on itscover, Sisters Helen MarieBurns and Sheila Carney offerprimary source readings, sto-ries, prayers, and questions forreflection on various topics re-lated to Christian spirituality ingeneral and to Mercy spiritualityin particular. In each chapter,following some text by or aboutCatherine McAuley, the readeris invited to "pause" and "pre-pare a comfortable cup of tea

confessed that she might not usethe teacup symbol in her book in

this way if she were writing it to-duy. Sheila expressed concernthat the teacup can become tootrivialized ifwe are not very care-ful with it.16 She believesCatherine McAuley's gesture of

offering "a comfortable cup oftea" ought to be the primary fo-cus of attention, rather than thecup itself. The gesture is impor-tant, says Sheila, because

. . . even as Catherine lay dying,her thoughts were turned toother people. The kind of gen-erositv that characterized herlife did not leave her, even inthis extreme sihration . . . It istrue that the teacup is a symbolof hospitaliry but there is moreto it. . . . The teacup representsa rich gesture within the tradi-tion and we don't want to stoptoo short of understandingwhat it means as a symbol ofgenerosity, relationship, andconcern for community . . . Wecan use the teacup any way wewant, but the important thing is

Teacups have also been used interactivelyand as environmental symbol-objects for

contemplative prayer.

and think of a time in your ownlife when you . . . (experiencedGod's compassion; waited forGod; found God in humor; ex-tended hospitality, etc)." Ac-cording to the authors, the tea-cup is employed in this way toinvite the reader to enter into "acomfortable, centered space inwhich to meet oneself and ourgracious God." 15

In my telephone interviewwith Sister Sheila Carney, she

to reflect on who Catherine wasand what she was doing, both inher life and at the time of herdeath . . . and to be guided bythat in our own lives. t /

Sheila shared her concern thatteacup jewelry, magnets, station-ary, miniatures, images, and thelike have become quite trendy,commercialized commodities intoday's popular culture.l8 Shethought these items could rein-force appropriation ofthe teacup

in a way that could potentiallyweaken its power as a Mercy sym-bol. In Sheila's view, a teacup canbe potent as a Mercy symbol onlyinsofar as it points beyond itselfto the deeper Merry story. Sheilaexpressed the hope that, withinthe larger Mercy community, theteacup symbol can be thoughtabout more seriously, carefully,and consciously by "pausing overit a little while to consider what itreally means." After saying this,Sheila began to chuckle. Whenasked why, she told me she hadjust swung her desk chairaround, as we were talking, andthat she noticed something ofwhich she had become totally un-conscious. Attached to her metalradiator in her instinrte oflice is ateacup magnet, and next to it, amagnetic sign that says: "Womenare like tea-they get stronger inhot water." Catherine also careddeeply about Mercy but was verymuch "of the world" and "in theworld" and never took herself tooseriously. I could almost hearher, too.

Hospitality

Among all the things said to besymbolized by the "comfortablecup of tea," hospitality, in the in-terpersonal as well as broad so-cial, spiritual, and ethical senseof the term stands out over andabove, and is inclusive of, themall. In L979, long before it hadbecome the popular object-sym-bol it is today, Mary CleophasCostello, past president ofMount St. Agnes College, deliv-ered a speech about hospitalityto her Baltimore Province andentitled it "A Comfortable C.tp

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DiLisio: ACwnffioble Cup of Tea 33

of Tea." Mary Cleophas said toher Sisters:

'A Comfortable Cup of Tea,"the words of Mother McAuley,continue to challenge all of herdaughters whenever we hearthem . . Th.y are a typicalphrase to describe the kind ofwoman she was: a practical per-son who set to work on the mostobvious task in any sinration . . .for the alleviation of any hu-man need that demanded aremedy. She began with whatwas on hand, what was on thesurface to alleviate human suf-fering; but the impulse to beginat all was a deep flame thatsprang from her lifetime devo-tion to that humanity she hadlearned to revere in the cnrci-fiedJesus . . . No wonder . .that she speaks so forcibly to ustoday.when we have become soconscrous of human destitution. . . More and more . . . the Sis-ters of Mercy are answering thatchallenge.

Hospitality is the principal char-acteristic of Merry identity, spir-ituality, and mission. In light ofthe example of CatherineMcAuley, Sisters and associatesbroadly understand hospitalityas an individual and collabora-tive way of being, believing, andbehaving in relation to God andothers in the world, in practicalresponse to today's humanneeds. In the Americas alone, onthe institute level alone (whichdoes not include the separatelysponsored works of each re-gional community), Mercy Hos-pitality means:

> selling Mercy property tocreate McAuley Institute, anational non-profit agencythat provides low-interestloans, technical assistance,information, training andpublic policy advocacy for

the development of healthycommunities and afford-able housing;

> seeking ways to change so-cial, political, and eco-nomic systems that createand perpetuate poverty,through the Institute Jm-tice Ministry which "worksfor socialjustice by facili-tating access to informa-tion and resources;collaborating with otherjustice coalitions . . . mobi-lizing for public witnessand corporate voice; andmaking available tools foradvancing the work of so-cial justice," and makingheard the voices of poorand marginalized people;

> educating hundreds ofthousands of students frompreschool to graduate lev-els in a way that "nurturesgrowth of the whole per-son-spiritually, intellectu-ally, and morally;"

> sponsoring orcosponsoring six healthsystems and "approxi-mately 140 health-relatedfacilities throughout theUnited States [and more inBelize, Guam, Guyana,Peru, and the Philippineslincluding hospitals,

long-term health facilities,rehabilitation centers, andfamily care and outreachcenters, making them oneof the largest health careproviders in the UnitedStates;"

> going to, gathering up andtaking in poor, sick, uned-ucated persons (especiallywomen and children)through community out-reach services, mentalhealth clinics; shelters andtransitional housing facili-ties; family and children'sservices, and a broad spec-trum of human sewices asvaried as are human needs;

> oPerating "retreat centersand houses of prayer wherepeople can come and stay fora few hours or a few weeks;"

> on a less grandiose but noless important scale, Mercyhospitality means treatingevery individual, in themost ordinary of daily situa-tions, with respect, accep-tance, and acknowledgmentof their human dignity.2o

Sentimental Rather ThanSacramental?

Can so delicate a symbol-objectas " a comfortable cup of tea"

Sisters and associates broadly understandhospitality as an indMdual and collaborative

way of beifrg, believihg, and behaving inrelation to God and others in the world, in

practical response to today's human needs.

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34 Di Lisia: A Cornfortable Cup of Tea

It seems a virtual certainty that CatherineMcAuley did not think of "a comfortable cup

of tea" as a symbol carrying the manymeanings attributed to it today.

really carry the meaning of all ofthis? Can a cup of tea really"continue to challenge all ofCatherine's daughters [and sons]"to meet today's complex "hu-

man needs demanding a rem-edy," as Mary Cleophas Costellosaid Catherine's words could?Sister Cynthia Serjak (Pitts-burgh) does not think so. She of-fers this challenging perspective:

The CCT idea has been in-vested with meanings that I'mnot sure Catherine intended. Ithas been asked to bear a sym-bolic weight that it is not capa-ble of doing . . . It is as ifwe'velatched onto something con-crete, limited culturally andcontextually, and now use it toexpress some significant pieceof Mercy life. I believe hospi-tality is important, of course,but I think there are manvwavsin which Catherine showed usavery radical, extensive hospi-tality-one being the House ofMercy itself, the completespending of her inheritance!The CCT does not match theweight of all that for me.

So, it's a nice symbol, butwhereis its challenge? If a symbol is adoorway to deep mysterywhere is that in the CCT? Thesymbols we use in Catholic rit-uals are multivalent-the fireof Pentecost comfortsand chas-tens, the waters ofbaptism wel-come and threaten, the breadand cup of Eucharist are nour-ishing and are invitations intothe fullness of the paschal mys-tery-they challenge us to bebroken and poured as Jesus

was. I don't see the CCT as hav-ing these wonderful paradoxesand powers. It feels flat to me,not something I would returnto again and again to learnfrom and reflect upon, as Iwould with another symbol.When I have seen it used inMerry gatherings I have foundit not to be an engagement of apotent meaning (anamnesis)but rather nostalgic, perhapssentimental, even "cute."

I don't find Catherine's wordsin this instance to be compel-ling in a metaphorical, sym-bolic or even spiritualway. Herlegacy and her ministerial ex-ample are very compelling tome-Ijust don't think the CCTcarries the same weight. Per-haps I am missing somethingby not appreciating the "Irish"or local custom towhich she re-fers. Perhaps I need^ryore "exe-gesis" of the ,..n..?1

Sister Donna M. Ryan (Omaha),who works in a church as a pasto-ral minister expressed similarconcerns.

I really don't think in lookingover Catherine's life, she wouldhave used that symbol much-she was too busy. . . . I person-ally am comforted by the cup oftea, but I am aware that it couldcloister me in comfort so that Ino longer have to be passionateto take risks, or move with soci-ety of the local church as wemove into the twenty-first cen-tury. [Although, Catherine's]style of ministry . . . was to be incollaborationwith the laity . . . sotoday she would have offered

the cup of tea to men andwqmendoing works of Mercy . . .22

It seems a virtual certainty thatCatherine McAuley did not thinkof "a comfortable cup of tea" as asymbol carrying the many mean-ings attributed to it today. Thenagain, the same can be said forthe traditional Eucharistic sym-bols of bread and wine and otherlirurgical symbols and practicesupon which theologians over thecenturies have heaped multiplemeanings having mythical andquestionably historic origins.These Eucharistic symbols arenot rendered "flat" and power-less on account of this interpre-tive activity. Likewise, the liveli-ness of "a comfortable cup of tea"as a Mercy symbol need not turnon the question ofwhether or notCatherine McAuley expected ateacup to carry the multiple (andpolyvalent) meanings it holds formany today. Lives lived in thespirit ofCatherine continue to in-fuse Catherine's special blend ofcontemplation and action withfresh flavor each time the symbolis encountered and interpretedanew. Without such continual re-newal, symbols simply die.23 Fur-ther, insofar as the spiritualityimplied by the "comfortable cupof tea" is one ofbeing both emptyand full, of receiving an"d giving,of filling up and spilling over, thesymbol is capable ofcarrying par-adoxical tension.

The more compelling andcritical questions raised byCynthia Serjak and Donna M.Ryan have to do with whether ornot and to what extent "a com-fortable cup of tea" has thepower to provoke deep thought,to facilitate encounter with mys-tery and to challenge someone

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Di Lisio: A Cornfortable Cup of Tea

to the kind of bold risk takingthat Catherine's own brand ofhospitality entailed. The evi-dence suggests that "a comfort-able cup of tea" does, in fact,have the power to help drawmany, though obviously not all,carriers of the Mercy charisminto contemplative encounterwith "deep mystery"-1fua1 tran-scendent mystery that paradoxi-cally dwells immanently near inthe midst of our loving, compas-sionate and just relationshipsand activities in this world, ourmaterial world. As theologianKarl Rahner explains, holy mys-tery can be encountered in thetliings of this world, insofar as allmatter is drenched in God'sgrace-filled presence.24 Mysterycan be let loose in the liturgy ofour ordinary, daily lives throughthe most ordinary and even'ocute" things. 'A comfortablecup of te a" can have the power tohelp challenge complacenry,help impel people to action, andhelp empower creative, practi-cally responsive ministries ofhospitality. Cynthia Serjak isquite right, though. For thispower to become activated,some "exegesis of the scene"needs to take place.

Mercy Charism

Anna Nicholls, a Mercy fromNew Zealand, sees "a comfort-able cup of tea" as a symbol of"the hospitality aspect of ourMercy charism, vfr aspect thathas been a big factor in myMercy journey." Anna's story in-cludes a laminated text thathung on the wall of the kitchenof the first Mercy house in whichshe lived. This text directly

relates " a comfortable cup oftea" to Merry identity, spiritual-ity, and mission:

When Catherine McAuley wasdying, many of the sisters gath-ered around her bedside to saygoodbye and to pray theprayers fior the dying. Not longbefore she died, at the end of along day of waiting, she said toone of the Baggot St. Sisters:"Be sure you have a comfort-able cup of tea for them when Iam gone." Ever since, the com-fortable cup of tea has been atelling symbol for the Sisters ofMercy and those who upholdthe Mercv charism. There isnothing pretentious about acup of tea. Having a cup of teawith someone is a simplehomey gesture of hospitalitywhich implies a certain ease ofrelationship. The comfortablecup of tea is away of expressinghow we are together. It is a wayof sharing a common space. It isa way to include others. It is away to give our time, our pres-ence, our love. If you are get-ting it right in your ministryyou will be able to have a com-fortable .cup-of tea together. Ifyou are implementing policiesthat are just and charitable, ifyou are living the basic humanvirtues ofintegriry honesty, andtrustworthiness, you will feelfree to share a comfortable cupof tea with business colleagues.If you are really trying to liveout the gospel imperative that,in spite of the inequalities thatexist between you and others,you can experience a relation-

ship of friendship, then the cupof teawill be as symbolic for youas the foot washing was for theearly disciples.

The comfortable cup of tea canbe a gauge of how you are do-ing. If you are not in a positionto have it, you can ask your-selves why not? And whatwould have to change beforeyou could have the comfort-able cuppa? Can you changeit? Are you willing to change it?Why are things this way?

Anna states, "This simple textboth inspired me and hasshaped the way I see the com-fortable cup of tea. The ques-tions that it asks continue tochallenge me out of my comfortzorre, especially the one thatsays, why not?"

Exegesis-and hospitality-may begin in one's own kitchen,but they need not and do not endthere. When the power of "a com-fortable cup of tea" is truly en-gaged, Catherine's identity, spiri-tuality and mission have beendemonstrated to spill over intothe lives of persons within andbeyond the Mercy community,and to excite them as collabora-tors in ministry. Anna Nichollstook a copy of the above text tothe Mercy College in which sheteaches and hung it in the staffkitchen. "For the next few weeksyou would see people stoppingand reading and commenting . . .

The evidence suggests that "a comfortablecup of tea" does, in fact,help draw many, though

carriers of the Mercycontemplative encounter with "deep

have the power toobviously not all,charism into

mystery."

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36 Di Lisio: A Comfwtable Cup of Tea

For our staff, the comfortable cupof tea has become a Mercy sym-bol that they can embrace." Annaalso has a teacup pin that shewears to school. She reports thatthe staff commented on it somuch that teacup pins were or-dered for each of them as gifts tocelebrate Mercy Duy. "Many stillwear them today," she says. Theteapot pins, quite apparently,serve as symbols of solidarity inmission and ministry.zs

In response to Anna's storyDolores Liptak, R.S.M., com-mented: "Still another genera-tion of Mercys has been helped(in fact, excited) to understandhow [Catherine's] words and ac-tions reflect and challenge all ofus to be the true Catherine-thetrue Mercy. The new symbols wecome up with need the samekind of recovery and develop-ment. They must come fromwhoCatherine was."26

Such "recovery and devel-opment" efforts were under-taken in earnest at St. Mary'sChildren and Family Services, asponsored ministry of theBrooklyn Regional Community.St. Mary's offers "full service,"on and off-site hospitality rotroubled children and their fam-ilies.27 Sister Francene Horan,director of mission effectivenessat St. Mary's, shared this storyabout how the St. Mary's staffcame to thoroughly "bry into"the story and symbol of " acomfortable cup of tea."

Three years ago the BrooklynRegion was interested in as-sessing mission effectiveness inour Merry high schools andagencies. We hired S. MaureenLowry, R.S.M., from theMerion Region to meet with usover a two-year period of time.

She was terriric . . . Maureenmet with the Board of Direc-tors, Executive Cabinet, Cabi-net (directors of the variousdepartments and programs),and individual staff members.She also gave presentations tothe various departments. Shegave Catherine McAuley's con-cept of mission and expandedon the role of the lay peopleworking hand in hand with thereligious . . . Itwas through thisrenewal type of experience forthe agency thatwe talked moreabout Catherine McAuley, thehistory and the spirit rhat wewant to keep alive-hence thestory of Catherine on herdeathbed telling the Sisters romake sure they had a comfort-able cup of tea when she wasgone. This story was a favoritefor our staff. They saw thewarmth, the caring, and thesharing at such a critical mo-ment in Catherine's life . . .

You probably know how popu-lar teacups and teapots are to-day. So it was very easy to getgraphics from the computer,napkins, and all kinds of papergoods with the symbol. Thismade it easv for us to elaborateon the comfortable cup of tea atsimple prayer services to com-memorate the feast of OurLady of Mercy in Septemberand Foundation Day, Decem-ber 12. These were the rwoevents thatwe have tried for thelast two years at St. Mary's. Oneyearwe had the video of the his-tory of the Sisters of Mercy andfollowed itwith tea and scones.

A year and a half ago, w€formed the Mission Team, agroup of staff of various pro-grams whose focus is missioneffectiveness on a daily basis.They meet about every sixweeks and plan simple ways tokeep the mission alive for staff.At the meetings, we have a pic-ture of Catherine McAul ey, aMercy candle and a cup andsaucer on display. This year the

Mission Team will start theyear off with a prayer memo-rial for September I l. It is stillin process, but will have "thecomfortable cup of tea" as partof the celebration. This comesfrom the team . . . they havetaken this on as a peace-filledsymbol that all staff can iden-tify with regardless of race,color, or creed.

We also have found out that afew staff members have teapotcollections and bring thesevery special teapots to ourgatherings. They have rakenon the symbol and find muchbonding in this experience . . .All I can say is that the wholeidea has taken hold with ourstaff and hopefully will con-tinue. Catherine's spirit comesalive through this "comfort-able cup of tea."d

Pastoral Settings

The "comfortable cup of tea"can and does spill over intonon-Mercy ministry environ-ments as well. Sister RosemaryHudak is the director of pastoralministry at St. Joseph's R.C.Church, a 6,000-family parish inToms River, New Jersey. SisterRosemary depends on the col-laboration of more than twohundred parishioners, many ofwhom are women, in order to ef-fectively perform her variouschurch and outreach duties. Sherecently wrote an article abouther ministry and "a comfortablecup of tea," which begins withthis quote from CatherineMcAuley: "You cannot fail to behuppy while the spirit ofyour vo-cation animates all your ac-tions." Rosemary recalls:

A few years ago I planned anevening for women and calledit 'A Comfortable Cup of Tea."

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It gave me an opportuniry totell Catherine's story and en-courage women to continuethe tradition of Mercy hospi-tality. The Rosary Altar Socierycontinues to sponsor this pro-gram each year.I was asked tospeak on women's spiritualiryat the last one, and you canimagine my delight when Iheard one of the Rosarians tellthe story of Catherine's "com-fortable cup of tea" prior to in-troducing ffie_.- I felt like aproud pirent!2g

Also working in a non-Mercy pas-toral ministry environment is Sis-ter Lalemont Pelikan (St. Louis),who says the Eucharistic cup andCatherine's "comfortable cup oftea" are "the symbols ofmy Mercyheritage and my Christian heri-tage." In her office at the Dioceseof Lubbock Catholic PastoralCenter, where she works in theOffice of Christian formation,Sister Lalemont displays a teapotset in front of her Mercy calendarfrom the Mercy InternationalCentre in Dublin. She reportsthat "there are numerous teacupson the bookshelves in my office,too, and the rest of the staffat thecenter are well acquainted withtheir meaning."3o

Members of the generalpublic who are not directly en-gaged in ministries with Sistersand associates of Mercy can alsosupport those ministries with "acomfortable cup of tea." For ex-ample, The Catherine McAuleyCenter in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, op-erates a transitional housing pro-gram forwomen and an adult ed-ucation program for women andmen. In conjunction with thisministry they also operateCatherine's Tba Store, from whichanyone who happens to be in theneighborhood or has an internetconnection can purchase Cath-

erine's tea leaves, tea bags, teabag holders, teacups and saucers,tea mugs, miniature tea sets, tea-cup pins, a variety of Catherine'stea note cards and gift basketscontaining any combination ofthe above. The Tea Store's website tells this story:

Our tea is notjust another com-mercial product. Catherine'sComfortable Tea is a symbol ofcompassion and dedication towomen in need. Throughouther entire life, CatherineMcAuley devoted herseH toserving others. Even on herdeathbed, she urged her follow-ers to "be sure you have a com-fortable cup of tea for themwhen I am gone." With herspirit in mind, the CatherineMcAuley Center createdCatherine's Comfortable Tea.Proceeds fiom the sale of thetea benefit the CatherineMcAuley Center Learnabout the Catherine McAuley

greater the number of these in-gredients one can taste at once,the more powerful the punch ofthe tea-with or without a splashof Irish whiskev.

Marking the Years

Once "a comfortable cup of tea"resonates with someone, it reso-nates for a very long time, eventhough the emphasis in its sym-bolic meaning may shift. Con-sider a group of former Sistersfrom the Detroit Regional Com-muniry who gathered this sum-mer to celebrate what wouldhave been their fortieth anniver-saries of entrance into the com-munity. On the table in the cen-ter of the room where their ritualtook place, sat a teacup with ashamrock on rt.32

The "comfortable cup of tea" can and doesspill over into non-Mercy ministry.

Center organization and dis-cover how Catherine McAuley'scompassion lives on ftrrough.u.h cup of tea we sell.3l

The fact that "a comfortable cupof tea" has the power to chal-lenge some people to participatein Catherine McAuley's charism,spirituality, and mission lies inthe fact that this simple cup isfilled with the following essentialingredie nts: nn rratiae (Catherine'sstory), menxory (as remembered),text (as told), material object (assensed), experience (as lived), in-terpretation (as reflected upon),and i,mag'ination (as creativelyand actively engaged). The

Finally, consider the story ofSusan Manion, a former memberof the St. Louis community whocannot remember when she firstheard of the teacup symbol be-cause "it seems to have beenaround forever." For Susan,drops of meaning from Americanculture, from Irish culture, fromsecular and spiritual culture,from personal, professional andministry-related relationships,from the charism of Catherineand her communiry from life ex-perience before, during, and af-ter Merry membership all co-alesce in a single teacup.

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38 DiLisio: AComfwtable Cup of Tea

Once "a comfortable cup of tea" resonateswith someone, it resonates for a very long

time, even though the emphasis in itssymbolic meaning may shift.

Although I am no longer avowed member of the R.S.M.s,I still cherish the comfortablecup of tea . . . I entered the St.Louis Province in 1968, butgrew up around Mercies, as anaunt of mine was an R.S.M.Also, I am originally from NewOrleans, where coffee or teashared among family orfriends is a sacred time .Macrinia Whittaker has aprayer that talks about sacredtime with her mother bakingbread. For me, sharing a cup oftea or coffee (good old Ameri-can that I am) is the same. Thisis truewhether it is an early cupof coffee with my boss at theCommuniry Mental HealthCenter, where I work with thepoor, or with friends or mypartner after dinner or forbreakfast. The comfortablecup has deep meaning for mewith regards to Mercy mis-sion/identity/ministry. It sym-bolizes the same at easesharing of equals, the hospital-iry that I grew up with in thedeep South, and the lack of hi-erarchy that accepts all. I wasgiven a Belleek [Irish china]cup and saucer as a part of myexit of community. On the onehand, I would like to add to itto make a set to share withguests. On the other hand, itsuniqueness is symbolic of theprecious connection_ I will al-*uyr share in Mercy.33

In the teacup, spirit meets spirit,story meets stor/, and experi-ence meets experience acrosstime and space, both within and

beyond Catherine's community,creating a unique blend and dis-tinctive flavor that is "Mercy."The taste lingers.

NotesI http://www.mercyworld.orgll

nzlwellin gton/h_symbols. html.In a letter to Sister Mary Ce-cilia Marmion dated Novem-ber 12, 1941, eyewitness MaryVincent Whitty reportedCatherine McAulev's deathbedwish: "Will you telf the sistersto get a good cup of tea-Ithink the community roomwould be a good place-whenI am gone & to comfort oneanother-but God will comfortthem." According to Mary C.Sullivan, R.S.M., it was SisterM"ry Austin Carroll who at-tributed the phrase "comfort-able cup of tea" to Catherine'sdying wish in Carroll's biogra-phy, The Life of CatherineMcAuley (1866). Mary C.Sullivan, Catherine McAuley andthe Mercy Tradition (NotreDame, IN: University of NotreDame Press, 1995), 243.

2 The Mercy cross, designed byCatherine McAuley, was an eb-ony cross representing Jesus,with an inlaid ivory cross rep-resenting the members of theMercy communiry.

3 InJune, 2002, the author ex-tended an open invitation toSisters and associates of Mercvto share their insights, obser-'vations, experiences, and re-flections about "a comfortable

cup of tea, what it means tothem, and how it functionssymbolically in their lives.Thirty women (21 Sisters, 6 as-sociates, and 3 former mem-bers) participated in thisstudy.Colleen McDannell has madean unparalleled contribution tothe study of North Ameri-can-Christian material culturein her book entitled MaterinlChristinnity (New Haven: YaleUniversity Press, 1995). She be-gins with the observation that,"Material culnrre in itself hasno intrinsic meaning of its own. . . Objects become meaningfulwithin specific patterns of rela-tionships." Ibid., 3-4."In making their altars, womenassemble images that representthe power of and need forgood relationships and positiveaffiliations. As a visual testi-mony to the emphasis thatwomen place on creating linksben'veen people, betweenthings, and between realms,the altar specifies a context forbuilding and sustaining rela-tionship. A center from whichwomen can advocate theirworldview, the altar is both amodel of and an instrument forrelationship. It is a place forunderstanding the presence ofthe Other, certainly in thesense of knowing the Divine,but also in the ethical sense ofconnecting to otherness andothers as a goal of human liv-irg." Kay Turner, Beaut'iful Ne-cessity: The Art and, Meaning ofWomen's Altars (NY: Thamesand Hudson, 1999),79; cf.:Material Christianity, 3+35 .On the subject of gift ex-change in Christian materialculfure, Colleen McDannelladds her own observations tothose of anthropologist M"ryDouglas: "Like goods in tribalsocieties, religious objects 'areused for paying compliments,for initiating marriages, estab-lishing or ending them, forrecognizing relationships, forall celebrations,

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Di Lisio: A Comforta,bl,e Cu,p of Tea 39

compensations and affirma-tions whatever.' fciting MuryDouglas, "Goods as system ofcommunication," In The ActiaeVoice (London: Routledge andKegan Paul, 1982), 24lThesocial exchange of religiousgoods can strengthen friend-ships as well as provide finan-cial support for churches andchurch or ganizations. Reli-gious goods not only bind peo-ple to the sacred, they bindpeople to each other." Materi,alChristianity, 45."All communication dependson use of condensed symbols,and they can be classified innumerous ways, from the mostprecise to the most vague,from single reference signs tomulti-reference symbols. "Mury Douglas, Natural Symbols;Explorations in Cosmology (Lon-don: Routledge, 1996), 10.This text is excerpted from areflection written by CarmeliteSister Diane Gauthier, "AComfortable Cup of Tea," L'ia-i,ng Prayer (1993) 9-10.Sister Mury Celeste Rouleau(Burlingame), one of the insti-tute's most respected authori-ties on the subject ofCatherine McAuley, wasamong those who mentionedthe whisky connotation, al-though she added this dis-claimer, "I don't vouch for theauthenticity of that!" e-mail ofJune 5,2402.Sullivan, Catherine McAuIey andthe Mercy Tradition, 385.M"ry Douglas has been a prin-cipal proponent of the viewthat svmbols are fundamen-tally based on physiologicalprocesses and experiences.See Mary Douglas, NaturalSymbok; and Purity and Danger(London: Routledge, 1995).E-mail ofJune 19, 2002.E-mail ofJune 23,2002.Emilie Barnes, If Teacups CouldTalh: Sharing a Cup of Kindnesswith Treasured Friends (OR:Harvest House Publishers,1ee6).

15 Helen Marie Burns and SheilaCarney, Prayi,ng with CatherineMcAuley (MN: St. Mary's Press,1996).Joyce Rupps'The Cup ofLife: A Guide For SpiritualGrowth (Notre Dame, IN: AveMaria Press, Ig97), is much inthe scyle of the Burns/Carneybook.

16 The widespread usage and fa-miliariry of a symbolic object isnot necessarily an indicator ofits "desacralization." Consider,for example, "emblems," "to-tems," and other such objectsthat operate within religiousgroups as sacred signs (or sym-bols) of membership, identity,and spiritual power. See,Emile Durkheim, The Elemen-tary Forms of Reli,gious Ltfe(1918), trans. Karen E. Fields(New York: The Free Press,1995), I l1-126; W. LloydWarner, The Liaing and theDead, A Study of the Symbolic Lifeof Americans (New Haven: YaleUniversity Press, L959); TheFamily of God, A Symbolic Studyof Christian Life i,n America (NewHaven: Yale University Press,t96l); Milton Singer, "Em-blems of Identity: A SemioticExploration" in Fernandez,Spiro and Singer, On Symbolsin Anthropology (CA: UCIA De-partment of Anthropology,1982), 73-t33.

17 Telephone interview ofJune20,2002.

18 Mury Douglas and BaronIsherwood offer a positive, al-ternative perspective on mate-rial commodities: "Instead ofsupposing that goods are pri-marily needed for subsistenceplus competitive display, let usassume that they are neededfor making visible and stablethe categories of culture."While it is true that goods havepractical value for meetingmaterial needs, "at the sametime it is apparent that goodshave another important use:they also make and maintain rela-tionships. This is a long triedand fruitful approach to the

maierial side of existencewhich yields a much richeridea of social meanings . . ."M"ry Douglas and BaronIsherwoo d, The World of Goods(New York: Basic Books,1979), 59-607.My thanks to Sister VirginiaFarnan (Brooklyn), who pro-vided me with a printed copyof this speech.All of these "works of Mercy,"and many others, are includedunder the banner "Creating aSpirit of Hospitality" at the website of the Institute of the Sis-ters of Mercv of the Americas.http :/Avww. sistersofmercy. org/works.html.E-mail ofJune 20,2002.E-mail ofJune 5,2002.Paul Ricoeur, "The Symbol . . .Food For'fhought," PhilosophyToday 4 (1960) 196-207.See Karl Rahner, Nature andGrace, translated by DinahWharton (New York: Sheedand Ward, 1963).E-mail ofJune 5,2002.E-mail ofJune 8, 2002.St. Mary's Children and Fam-ily Services, provides anon-campus school, group resi-dences, mental health testingand therapeutic services;off-site residential facilitiesand services; foster care ser-vices; community based pro-grams; and preventativeservices for New York City andLong Island children and fam-ilies suffering the effects of do-mestic violence, alcohol andd*g abuse, mental illness,and poverty.E-mail of August 2, 2002.Rosemary Hudak, R.S.M., un-titled, Connections 2:7 $rly,2002),3.E-mail ofJune 5,2002.Catherine McAuley Cen-ter-Gifts:http :i/www. catherinestea. org.Reported by Ann Dillon, De-troit associate director, tele-phone conversation of August3,2002.E-mail ofJune 22,2002.

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