college entrance essays liam hickey writer, career consultant willpower careers

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College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

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Page 1: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

College Entrance Essays

Liam HickeyWriter, Career ConsultantWillpower Careers

Page 2: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

OVERVIEW

Writer’s Triangle

Author

Purpose

Audience

Essay questions and styles

Writing, editing, and rewriting

Page 3: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

AUTHOR

Your personality

Your experiences

Your goals

Your beliefs

Your level of English

Page 4: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

PURPOSE

Desired result

Interview or acceptance

Create anticipation and intrigue

Give a glimpse of yourself

They ask for more

Page 5: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

AUDIENCE

Who is the audience?

Admissions assistants

Admissions officers

Faculty

If I am the audience, why am I reading? (audience purpose)

To make a decision (yes or no)

Page 6: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

CRITIQUES OF SAMPLE ESSAYS

Page 7: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

INFLUENTIAL ACHIEVEMENTESSAY #2 (HARVARD)• “The essay demonstrates a transformation . . . .”

• “[She] would be able to contribute a fresh perspective . . . .”

• “[She] would be especially adept at bringing together diverse members of the student body . . . .”

Page 8: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

INFLUENTIAL ACHIEVEMENTESSAY #3 (PRINCETON)• “This student took time . . . .”

• “[T]he writer took you on the adventure with him, from boyhood to manhood . . . and what he learned from it.”

Page 9: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

INFLUENTIAL ACHIEVEMENTESSAY #4 (BROWN)• “[This has] passion and sincerity.”

• “[T]he change in attitude described by the author is real. . . . [H]e will carry with him forever the hard-won knowledge [about] perseverance and hard work . . . .”

– “[T]he admission committee will want to feel sure that the applicants understand the need for hard work and perseverance.”

• “I always like hearing stories like this, of students who know what it means to struggle and finally succeed.”

Page 10: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

IMPORTANT ISSUEESSAY #1 (CARNEGIE-MELON)• “[This has] solid arguments, clear thinking, and

good structure.”

– “[Thesis statements] were too broad and lofty . . . .”

• “This student put time and energy into this essay.”

• “It is a well thought out essay with depth and focus.”

• “[He] would certainly make people think, both in class and in discussions outside of academics.”

• “The argument in the essay is logical and substantiated with solid examples.”

Page 11: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

IMPORTANT ISSUEESSAY #2 (HARVARD)• “Personal experience is always a useful tool for

introducing one's own beliefs . . . .”

• “[U]nderstand the implications of the parallels you draw.”

• “You may be writing to someone who knows much more than you . . . .”

• “Keep the topic close to your own life and write only about something you know.”

• “What are the weaknesses in his arguments?”

Page 12: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

INFLUENTIAL PERSONESSAY #1 (WELLESLEY)• “[T]he writer definitely focuses on herself, which

makes this essay so strong. She manages to impress the reader with her travel experience, volunteer and community experience, and commitment to learning without ever sounding boastful or full of herself. The essay is also very well organized.”

Page 13: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

INFLUENTIAL PERSONESSAY #3 (HARVARD)• “[U]sing the introduction of the essay to paint a

scene or mood can be very effective.”

– “[B]egin with the most simple and striking sentence possible.”

• “I don't believe the ‘epiphany’ in the conclusion . . . . It's too easy and convenient.”

Page 14: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

AUDIENCE ANALYSIS

Q & A – In your own words . . .

1. What do the admissions officers and faculty want to read?

2. What type of students do they want?

Page 15: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

WRITING AND EDITING

Page 16: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

WRITING TECHNIQUES

Connect with your readers

Make them feel something!

People act on how you make them feel

Response

Page 17: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

WRITING TECHNIQUES

Humor – be human

Sensory descriptions (common experiences)

Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, emotions

“My nose was running. I couldn’t breathe.”

“I felt so scared, I just wanted to . . . .”

“Everything seemed to slow down.”

Similes – using “like” or “as”

“It was like a weight on my chest.”

“It was like I was on center stage, in the spotlight. This was my moment.”

Page 18: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

STORYTELLING

Exercise – Complete the following:

1. I was so __________, I wanted to __________.

2. I couldn’t believe what I just __________. It was like __________.

3. I was surrounded by __________.

4. One look from him/her told me that __________.

Page 19: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

CONTENT

Story

Strong opening

3 – 5 emotional states

Personal change = compelling

Social / political issue

Thesis

3 supporting points with examples

Conclusion(s)

Page 20: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

CONTENT

Easy to read and understand

Natural language

Your level of English

KISS

Strengths, interests, and contributions

Length

About 5 paragraphs

Less than 7 lines per paragraph

3 – 5 sentences per paragraph

20 words or less per sentence

Page 21: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

OPENING

Get their attention

Typical = boring = lost

Set the stage

New Delhi, 2010 – monsoon season.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Foreshadow

I understand it all now.

It was the biggest decision I’ve ever made.

Everything was perfect. Nothing could go wrong . . . or so I thought.

Page 22: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

OPENING

A meaningful quote

Comment about influential person

“He was my hero.”

Cultural background

Diversity = advantage

Page 23: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

GETTING ATTENTION

Exercise – Brainstorm attention-grabbing openers

Page 24: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

CLOSING

Conclusion / life lesson / new person

Demonstrate change in yourself

Show, don’t tell

Page 25: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

BREVITY

Essential information

Only important parts

Does this add to or distract from my point?

Action verbs and active voice

Page 26: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

EXAMPLE

Fewer words are betterUse fewer wordsWrite concisely

Be brief

Page 27: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

EDITING AND REWRITING

Process – allow time! Ask others to review it Drafts and rewriting

Adding or reducing material What material is important vs. what is not

Re-editing Read out loud (every word!)

Page 28: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

HANDOUTS

Richard Lanham’s Paramedic Method (handout) Shorten sentences Eliminate passive voice

Editing checklist Essay critiques

Green = positive Yellow = warning / negative

Page 29: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

BEYOND THE WEBINAR – PRACTICING ON YOUR OWN

Page 30: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

FROM YOUR LIFE

Practice – Think of different endings

1. Think of a meaningful experience or favorite story from your life that you know VERY well.

– Describe it three times, each time ending with a different lesson learned.

2. Think of a meaningful experience involving an influential person and a topic you feel strongly about.

– Describe in three different contexts—life-changing experience, influential person, and important topic.

Page 31: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

TYPICAL ESSAY QUESTIONS

http://www.englishclub.com/writing/college-application-essays/lo_college.html

Practice – Review sample questions, essays, and critiques

1. Influential person essay

2. Meaningful experience essay

3. Important issue essay

4. Future goals

Page 32: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

NATURAL / GENUINE VOICE

Practice – Tell it to a friend

Select two or three possible topics and record yourself as you tell the story to a friend (or pretend a friend is listening).

Page 33: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

REREAD

From the university’s frame of mind . . .

Have someone review it!!!!!

Page 34: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

Always return to the Writer’s Triangle:

AUTHORPURPOSEAUDIENCE

Page 35: College Entrance Essays Liam Hickey Writer, Career Consultant Willpower Careers

Liam HickeyWillpower Careers

[email protected]

and

Michelle BakerCorporate Writing Pro

www.corporatewritingpro.com