Final reviewChapter 6: Visible Acts of Meaning

I. Nonverbal Communication – refer to all aspects of communication other than the words we usea. Behaviors such as facial displays, hand gestures, body movements and

appearances used during interaction that serve a communicative function similar to how and why we use language

i. Facial communication – facial expressions that send message Bodily actions mean different things depending on the context they

occur in Nonverbal messages are ambiguous and open for interpretation

o Functions of Nonverbal Communication: Facilitate cognitive meaning Encoding and decoding emotions Express affection and support Aid in impression formation/identity management

o Ways in which nonverbal differs from verbal: Continuous More believable Multi-channeled (multiple senses)

o Ways in which nonverbal is similar to verbal: Rule guided Culturally bounded

Contextually restricted Most of the work on nonverbal behavior has taken a receiver orientation,

asking whether people make similar judgments of nonverbal behavior or whether there is a large variability in judgments based on the same behavior

Paralanguage – beyond words; pitch, rate, volume, vocal fillersII. Myths of Nonverbal Communication

a. Communication is mostly nonverbal i. View chart on 134 – words that clearly communicate a feeling

ii. 2 studies done: (mehrabian and wiener) and (mehrabian and ferris)b. You can tell if someone is lying by closely observing nonverbal behaviors

i. Leakage hypothesis an extension of the myth that our nonverbal cues reveal what is “truly inside us” and are thus more diagnostically accurate information regarding whether we are telling the truth or not

ii. “few transparent liars” – by Levine; provides a test of people’s ability to ferret out lies based on observing the behavior of the message source

c. You can’t judge a book by its coveri. Immediacy behaviors help create a warm, inviting and comfortable

interaction environmentii. Immediacy – the psychological and physical closeness we have with

one anotherd. A good first impression is always good

i. May create problems for perceivers; and problem may occur when an individual uses impression management to gain a position that is not appropriate for him/her.

III. How Do We Interpret Nonverbal Behavior?a. Expectancy violations theory –

i. Proxemics – personal space1. explains what happens when communicators violate expectations

with regard to proxemics behavior and was expanded over several decades to include a variety of other nonverbal behaviors people do violate personal space and it can make somebody really angry

ii. Expectancy – (context, relationship, communicator characteristics) what people predict will happen is different than what they desire

1. Expectations – what we predict will occur and are a function of cultural norms, the relationship between interlocutors and characteristics of the person engaging in behavior

iii. Violations – arousal 1. Physiological arousal and cognitive arousal – heightened heart rate

and other physical signs of arousal as well as be likely to things this individual strange for invading your personal space

2. Violation valence – the positivity or negativity of the expectancy violation

3. Interpretation – the behavior involves an attempt to decide why the person is acting in this manner

a. Evaluate your behaviorb. Constitutive rules – refer to the behaviors we enact to help

define the appropriateness of our communication4. Communicator reward valence – the degree to which the person

enacting the behavior is evaluated by you as primarily positive or negative (are they likely to reward or punish us)

Chapter 7 – Listening I. 1) Purposes

a. Activity used for bonding and caring to establish close relationshipsb. Learningc. Information acquisitiond. Critical activity in arguing and conflict as strategic tool2) What is listening?a. Cognitive processes-attending to, understanding, receiving and interpreting content b. attitudinal processes – being motivated to attend to messagesc. behavioral processes responding with verbal and nonverbal feedbackd. cognitive phenomenon- linked to interpersonal complexityattitudes – determine how good of a listener you are

behaviors – determine how good you are as a listener tooII. Listening presage – the personal and contextual preconditions that influence how

people attend to and process information. a. Listening goals

i. Relational listening – concern with and awareness of other’s feelingsii. Analytical listening – orientation toward attending to the full message of a

speaker before coming to judgmentiii. Task-oriented listening-expecting to “get to the point” which causes

frustration to the listeneriv. Critical listening-tendency to focus attention on accuracy and consistency

of speaker’s messageb. Situation or circumstance of listening determines what type of listener you are

III. Listening processa. Cognitive Aspects of the Listening Process

i. Hearing- physiological component of sound waves hitting eardrumii. Comprehension- listener’s understanding of what the speaker has said

iii. Interpretation- listener makes sense of message by choosing from available meanings

iv. Act recognition- grasping what the speaker is doingv. Understanding- inferring what our conversational partner wants to

accomplishb. Behavioral aspects of the listening process

i. Active listening- responses with comments or questions relevant to topic of discussion

ii. Backchannel responses- encouraging of a person to keep talking without taking over conversation

Chapter 8 – From Initial Interactions to Intimacy

I. Relationship – a connection between two individuals that results in mutual interaction with the intent of achieving shared meaning

II. What Is a Close Relationship?a. 2 types of relationships: of choice and of circumstance

i. Obligatory/involuntary – the relationships we have with family and coworkers

ii. Voluntary – the type of relationships we have with friends, roommates, partners

b. According to Tibaut and Kelley, any two people may be said to have formed a relationship when on repeated occasions they are observed to interact

c. Intimacy – the feeling or state of knowing someone deeply in physical, psychological, emotional and behavioral ways because that person is significant in one’s life

d. Close relationships of all kinds are marked by heightened intimacy which is often fostered by self-disclosure

i. Trust is the most important component of self-disclosuree. Close relationships are marked by:

i. Our behaviors have a strong influence on the behavior of close relational partners. We have more frequent contact with our close relationship partners. More diverse array of shared activities. Duration of the relationship is longer.

f. Compartmentalized friendships – ex: running buddy, tennis partnerIII. What is Attraction?

a. Interpersonal attraction – that constellation of sentiments which comprise the evaluative orientation of one person toward another

i. Class def: general feeling or desire to maintain or form an interpersonal relationship

ii. Types: physical, social, task, sexual, relational, fatalb. Physical attraction – refers to his or her looks, what you see on the outside

1. “De gustibus non est disputandum” – phrase that means “in matters of taste, there can be no disputes.” Related to physical attractiveness because when it comes to personal preference, one cannot be right or wrong.

2. Mermaid Theory – a man that spends a certain amount of time with a woman will find her more attractive

a. In episode of How I Met Your Mother; barney tells story about his receptionist

3. Halo effect- attribute other positive traits from one initial trait

ii. Short term attractioniii. Don’t always have to act on physical attractioniv. Not only used in romantic relationshipsv. Physically attractive children and high school students have better

interactions with their teachers and receive better grades c. What makes a person physically attractive?

i. Facial symmetry ii. Body proportionality

iii. Waist-to-hip ratioiv. Clear complexionv. Large, clear eyes

d. Social attraction – reflects our perception of how easy the person would be to get to know and fit within our social network

i. Age limits relationships – friends with people closer in ageii. Can boost social attraction by showing interest and signaling warmth

iii. Homophily – similarity; birds of a feather flock together; we seek out relationships with those who are similar to us

e. Task attraction – refers to attraction toward a person’s ability to accomplish goals, work seriously and get job done.

i. Idea that someone has something we need/want; doesn’t have to be sinister/evil. Not a negative attraction.

ii. Predicted outcome value (POV) helps understand task attractionf. 3 Other Categories of attraction

i. Sexual attraction – the desire to engage in sexual activity with someone.1. Most closely related to physical attraction (not isomorphic – do not

have feelings for individual)ii. Relational attraction – desire to have an intimate relationship with

someone

1. Most closely related to social attractioniii. Fatal attraction

1. Describes a phenomenon documented by Felmlee where those positive qualities that initially attracted us to someone are the same ones that eventually contribute to the breakup.

a. Dissimilarities; opposites do not attractIV. So why are we drawn to people?

a. Category 1: Subconscious Influencesi. Factors influencing perceptions of attraction that operate largely below our

conscious awareness and can be sub-divided into individual influencers. 1. Biological influencers: MOST of the work concerns romantic and

sexual attraction and mate selection. a. Humans generally rely on visual over olfactory senses, but

there are certain pheromones (scented sex hormones) that can draw you to another

i. Love potion #9 – Movie with Sandra bullock where biochemist embarks on journey of attempting to make a love potion

b. Our own chemical levels can influence attraction. Increased levels of oxytocin make people more attracted to their partners.

i. Oxytocin is related to more pleasurable orgasms and is linked to desire to hold one’s partner after sexual encounters.

c. Misattribution of arousal – an explanation for why we are attracted to others as the result of heightened body physiology

2. Social Environment Influencersa. Activities that cause heightened arousal can be

misattributed as attraction such as roller coasters and laser tag. They can produce positive feelings and cause us to be more attracted to others

b. Study by Nicolas Gueguen showed that women were more likely to say “yes” to a male’s request for their phone number on a sunny day compared to cloudy day.

c. Also example of the love song playing in the waiting room of the doctor’s office.

d. When we have certain bodily experience, that experience can have a powerful impact on our psychological states.

e. Proximity can also influence attraction and the likelihood of establishing a relationship. (Festinger)

i. Usually short termf. 2/3 of romantic partners met through someone they knew

g. Romeo and Juliet Effect – states parental interference has the potential to increase perceived attraction.

b. Category 4: Communicative Dynamicsi. Involves individuals interacting with each other and seeks to determine

which aspects of those individuals and their behaviors impact attractiveness ratings.

ii. Burleson and Samter proposed 2 competing models:1. Main effects model – suggests that individual differences in skills

predict how attractive we find another individual. People with better communication skills are seen as more attractive.

a. People who exhibit warmth are perceived as more attractivei. Warmth is primarily communicated through

immediacy behaviorsb. Sociability – ability to easily talk to others in a social

settingc. Competence – individual’s level of knowledge and

composure exhibited during interactiond. One of most important abilities is ability to comfort others

when they are stressed 2. Skill Similarity model – basically asserts that people with similar

communication skills are more likely to define social situations in similar ways

a. Study with married couples – happy couples tended to exhibit greater similarity in skills levels than less happy couples

iii. 4 explanations for why people with limited communication skills might be attracted to one another

1. Differential importance account2. Ignorance is bliss account3. Sour grapes account4. Skill level as culture account

V. So s/he’s attractive, now what?a. Opening lines – more popularly labeled pick-up lines. Three categories:

i. Cute-flippant – humorous attempt to be cute or funny. Considered to be cliché.

1. Not favored

2. Dangers: can get rejected if she doesn’t think you’re funny3. Reasons for use

a. Fear of rejectionb. Intermittent reinforcement – refers to the fact that these

lines are “reinforced by popular books, magazines and other that overplay the number of successful pickups that actually occur in real life.

i. Overemphasis in mediac. Lack social skills – people just may not know any better

4. There are better ways to encounter a new relationshipii. Innocuous approach – involves communicating in an implicit and vague

manner1. Appear to be casual. Vague/ambiguous2. “Are you having a good time?”

iii. Direct – stated explicitly1. “I’m sort of shy, but I’d like to get to know you”

b. Uncertainty Reduction Theory i. Reducing uncertainty and increasing predictability in communication

1. URT was developed to explain the initial entry stage of interpersonal transaction.

ii. Uncertainty is determined by the number of alternatives that could occur in situation/interaction

1. Entry phase – 1st phase and when strangers meet each other. Marked by communication driven by rules and norms

a. Convo revolves around demographic infob. Interlocutors search for similarities to establish common

groundi. Communication similarities reduce uncertainty

2. Personal phase – begins when engage in communication about central attitudinal issues, personal problems and basic values

3. Exit phase – involves making decisions concerning the desirability of future interaction

iii. Uncertainty exists when people lack confidence in their ability to understand their surroundings. When strangers meet, primary concern is uncertainty reduction or increasing predictability about themselves and others in the action

iv. What reduces uncertainty?1. More communication

a. Questions – the primary strategy used for encouraging reciprocal disclosure and reducing levels of uncertainty

2. Similarities v. High level of uncertainty – feeling insecure or unsure about you ability to

predict or explain someone’s behaviorvi. Low level of uncertainty – feeling confident in ability to predict

vii. 2 general types of uncertainty:1. Behavioral uncertainty – answers the question “how should I act”2. Cognitive uncertainty – involves who the other person is as a

unique individual. Mainly concerned with when establishing new relationships since social norms and expectations often drive answers to behavioral uncertainty questions.

3. Blind Date = HB and HC or HB and LC4. Ball game = LB and HC

viii. Three primary ways to gain knowledge1. Passive strategies – involving unobtrusive observation such as

“stalking” people 2. Active strategies – using 3rd parties or manipulating the

environment 3. Interactive strategies – (info-seeking behavior) direct

verbal/nonverbal communication that seeks to ascertain info.ix. As uncertainty decreases, attraction usually increases (except in cases

where negative info is revealed)x. Prior conditions that enhance motivation to reduce uncertainty:

1. Anticipation of future interaction2. Incentive value

3. Deviancexi. Critiques about URT

1. Lack of knowledge doesn’t always lead to info-seeking. 2. URT is vague 3. Uncertainty isn’t necessarily a bad thing4. Uncertainty is evident in “established” relationships

c. Social Penetration Theoryi. Like an onion; addresses how information is exchanged during

relationship development; movement from superficial to intimate topics.1. Fills the theoretical gap and suggests 6 dimensions of self-

disclosure and three properties of mutual disclosure2. Self-disclosure – voluntary sharing of person information with

another. The amount we disclose changes as we move closer to someone as the relationship progresses.

ii. Stages:1. Orientation stage. In this first stage we engage in small talk and

simple, harmless clichés like, ‘Life’s like that’. This first stage follows the standards of social desirability and norms of appropriateness.

2. Exploratory affective stage. We now start to reveal ourselves, expressing personal attitudes about moderate topics such as government and education. This may not be the whole truth as we are not yet comfortable to lay ourselves bare. We are still feeling our way forward. This is the stage of casual friendship, and many relationships do not go past this stage.

3. Affective stage. Now we start to talk about private and personal matters. We may use personal idioms. Criticism and arguments may arise. There may be intimate touching and kissing at this stage.

4. Stable stage. The relationship now reaches a plateau in which some of the deepest personal thoughts, beliefs, and values are shared and each can predict the emotional reactions of the other person.

5. Depenetration stage (optional). When the relationship starts to break down and costs exceed benefits, then there is a withdrawal of disclosure which leads to termination of the relationship.[6]

iii. 6 dimensions:1. Breadth – number of topics a person is comfortable disclosing2. Depth – how personal is the information disclosed

a. 3 layers of disclosure:

i. Superficial – easily penetratedii. Social – easy for close partners to penetrate

iii. Core – only revealed to highly trusted peopleb. Core self- the most personal layer including secretes and

intimate feelingsc. Self-penetration model – onion model

3. Frequency – how often you engage in personal convos4. Duration – length of convo5. Valence – related to relational outcomes like satisfaction; positive

or negative information6. Veracity – more or less honest

a. Occasionally engage in deceptive self-disclosureb. Disclosure becomes deeper and cover more topics

iv. 3 properties of mutual disclosure:1. Self-disclosure tends to proceed gradually from less to more

intimate information. Orderly processa. Incremental nature

2. Self-disclosure it generally reciprocal – share equal amounts of information

3. Self-disclosure tends to be symmetrical – tend to share at equally deep levels

d. Relational dialectics – interplay between tendenciesi. Autonomy and connectedness: The desire to have ties and connections

with others versus the need to separate yourself as a unique individual.ii. Favoritism and impartiality: The desire to be treated fairly and impartially

versus the desire to be seen and known as “special”.iii. Openness and closedness: The desire to be open and divulge information

versus the desire to be exclusive and private.iv. Novelty and predictability: desire for the relationship to be predictable

versus the desire for it to be original and new.

v. Instrumentality and affection: The desire for affection to be genuine versus the desire for affection to be motivated by benefits and perceived advantages of the relationship.

vi. Equality and inequality: The desire to be considered as equals versus the desire to develop levels of superiority.

e. Knapp’s Relational Development Modeli. Coming together phase

1. Initiating- light conversation2. Experimentation- seek common ground3. Intensifying- test potential with varying degrees of disclosure4. Integration- lives of two come together, status as couple5. Bonding- commitment of relationship is communicated to world

ii. Coming apart phase1. Differentiating- differences exploited2. Circumscribing- setting limits and boundaries on communication3. Stagnation- communication becomes limited and less frequent4. Avoidance- partners avoid each other altogether5. Termination- relationship stops completely

Chapter 9 – The Dark Side of Communication

I. Overviewa. Dark side of communication – an integrative metaphor for a certain perspective

toward the study of human folly, frailty, and fallibility b. Dark communication examples – deception or lying, conflict, jealousy,

intentionally hurting someone’s feelings, relationship termination, embarrassment, loneliness, co-dependency and obsession

c. Poison Ivy example from class – hypersensitivity (related to interpersonal communication)

i. Social allergens – an emotion created by another person that is seen as unpleasant; unpleasant behavior, eating habits

1. Ex’s: friend is messy eater, roommate doesn’t make her bed, friend smacks food

ii. Social allergy – a reaction of hypersensitive annoyance or disgust to repeated behavior: anxiety, frustration

II. Why do we lie?a. People suggest that they lie to make themselves seem more admirable. We lie to

attract an attractive date. 25% of people in study indicated they engage in deception to attract another.

b. Three types of lies people tell include lies to:i. Harm others

1. Most damaging. Done to intentionally hurt others by distorting information, fabricating stories, or deliberately omitting important information

a. Ex: political campaign adsii. Protect self

1. Egotistical goal. To make oneself look good. Exaggerating praise or omitting weakness. College students lying about number of sexual partners.

iii. Spare others1. Most common. Avoid hurting feelings, damaging self-esteem.

“stretch the truth” or omit details for the good of the relationshipIII. Are there good reasons for lying?

a. O’hair and Cody suggest that strategies that enhance, escalate, repair and improve relationships can be considered positive relational deceptive strategies

b. White lies in order to foster liking or positive affect

IV. Detecting Deceptiona. Three prominent strategies:

i. Third-party information – information being revealed by a person outside the relationship.

ii. Physical evidence – Grey’s anatomy example with Addison and black panties on board

iii. Confessions – made by deceiver. Often offered as a result of direct questioning or confrontation. Some are solicited and some are out of the blue.

1. Unsolicited confessionsV. To lie or not to lie, that is the question

a. Key components to consider when analyzing a deceptive message:i. Importance of the relationship

ii. Importance of the information to the relationshipiii. Costs and rewards associated with the lie

b. Consider the following questions:i. What is the potential outcome? Can it benefit our relationship?

ii. Is it reasonable and just for me to tell a lie? Am I violating one of the spoken/unspoken expectancies that we have? What lies would we agree upon that are acceptable?

iii. Am I telling a lie in an attempt to protect my partner? If I were caught, would my partner understand?

VI. Embarrassmenta. When we perceive that our self-esteem has been threatened or if we have

presented what we perceive to be a negative view of ourselves to othersb. Identity is at stakec. Results in three factors:

i. Misrepresentations or cognitive shortcomingsii. Losing confidence

iii. Loss of dignity or composured. Our Role in Embarrassment

i. 3 roles in embarrassing situations:

1. Agent – we are responsible for our own embarrassment2. Recipients – targets of embarrassing communication3. Observer – bystander of another’s embarrassment

e. Responding to Embarrassmenti. Edelmann identified three primary types of messages individuals use in

response to embarrassing encounters:1. Accounts – provide a potential explanation2. Apologies – attempt to identify the source of blame3. Joking – humor to create more light-hearted responses

a. Arousal relief theory – use of humor evokes positive affective responses

VII. Conversational Dilemmasa. Social encounters in which no matter what you say you are BOUND TO LOSEb. Types of conversational dilemmas:

i. Ultimatumsii. Choosing sides

iii. Foot-in-the-mouth – you are caught talking about somebody elseiv. Can never please

c. Resolving CD’s: i. Sincere apology

ii. Strategic ambiguity1. Purposeful use of ambiguity in conversation to accomplish goals;

being vague; “Is my dress ugly?” “It’s interesting.” Form of equivocal communication (non-straightforward)

VIII. Verbal Aggression

a. Examples: the devil wears pradab. Attempts to gain influence over others made in one of two ways

i. Rational argumentsii. Attack other person’s self-esteem or character

c. Argumentativeness – extent to which an individual challenges a position or issued. Verbal aggressiveness - when a request is addressed with a response that attacks

the self-confidence, character or intelligence of another persone. Loreen Olsen 4 levels of aggression

i. Low – yelling, crying, refusing to talk, stompingii. Moderate – more intense acts such as verbal insults, swearing, indirect

physical displays of angeriii. High – intense face threatening; verbal belittling, direct physical contact,

slapping, shoving, pushingiv. Severe – intense verbal abuse and threats; physical attacks, kicking, biting,

punching, hitingf. Struggles for power are often the heart of reciprocated and escalating aggression

IX. Verbal aggression in the classrooma. Students who perceive their teacher as verbally aggressive are less motivated in

that class. they also evaluate teacher as being less competent and behaving inappropriately

b. Breakfast Club clipi. Bender acts like a jerk to all of them. He intimidates others and plays with

their insecuritiesc. Teasing – can be considered permitted disrespect – looks more innocent;

euphemism. Can get away with something because it seems socially acceptable d. Teasing – personal communication that involves aggression, humor and

ambiguityi. Identity confrontation couched in humor (related to face-worth)

ii. Someone threatens your faceiii. Happens frequently. 96% of students age 7-11 experience some form of

teasing

iv. As you get older, teasing turns into bullyingv. Very subjective

X. Workplace Bullyinga. 90% of adults report that they have been victim to workplace bullyingb. Employee Emotional Abuse (EEA) – repeated, targeted, unwelcome, destructive

communication by more powerful individuals toward less empowered individuals in the organization which results in emotional harm

c. Typically a power issue – supervisors to subordintaesd. Clip from Swimming with Sharks

i. Boss bullies new employee equate vs sweet n low packetXI. Obsessive Relational Intrusion

a. ORI occurs out of desire to initiate a relationship, whereas stalking often has a purpose of harming

b. Attempt to either initiate or escalate a relationshipc. Defined as – repeated and unwanted pursuit and invasion of one’s sense of

physical or symbolic privacy by another person, either stranger or acquaintance who desires and/or presumes an intimate relationship

i. 19% of men and 10% of women admitted to using ORId. Examples

i. Sending/communicating unwanted messagesii. Expressing exaggerated affection

iii. Giving or sending unwanted giftsiv. Monitoring other’s actionsv. Intruding in the interactions of other

vi. Intruding on other’s friends/familyvii. Covertly obtaining information about other

e. Cyberstalking – harassment or obsessive communication via interneti. Often obtain personal info about their targets

ii. Individuals join FB for several reasons1. Peer pressure2. Maintain relationship3. Form new relationship4. Get assistance with classes

Chapter 12 – Organizational Communication

- Narrative about brad in beginning of chapter**I. Groups

a. Groups – collection of people whoi. Are aware of each other

ii. Share an interdependent purposeiii. Have a sense of belongingiv. Accept the norms that serve to define the group

b. Group sizei. Dyad: 2 people

1. Unstable2. Unequal balance of power (ex: writing a paper)

ii. Triad: 3 people1. More stable2. Potential for conflict mediation

iii. Five1. Optimal number for group2. More stable; more diversity and more creativity

iv. 10 and beyond1. Reduction of social rewards can feel like you’re not really

contributing much2. Consensus difficult

c. Group dynamicsi. Roles – way we communicate in our group

ii. Rules – behaviors expected of group membersiii. Norms – standards that determine appropriate behavior (ex: business

meeting business professional)d. Groups work better together or individually?

i. Cohesiveness – degree of attraction that members feel toward each other and the group

1. Holds the group together2. Favorable (like on the paper)

ii. What influences cohesion?1. Similarity, goals, backgrounds, cultures

2. Focusing on relationships and problem-solvingiii. Point of group isn’t to gain a friend but to work well together and real

goale. Group Deviate – member that holds an opposing view, affects the outcome of

the groupf. Communication patterns

i. Pattern that identifies the (network) frequency: chain, circle, wheelii. Network star – person communicating with a lot of people, knowledge,

most connected1. Tends to be assistant to the boss

iii. Outliers – people who are not heavily connected1. Usually in the IT department

g. Chain networki. People convey a message through one person at a time

ii. Deals with the hierarchy (supervisor to supervisor)iii. Game of telephone (gets lost)

h. Wheel networki. One person receives most of the messages

i. All-channel networki. Everyone talks to everyone else (Ex: Apple, inc.)

ii. Meetings were everyone shares their opinions and thoughtsiii. More time consuming but everyone gets heard

j. Scene from BIG (1988) with tom hanks in meeting not following social normsII. Friendships in Organizations

a. Decision to form friendships is voluntary. Friendships provide social support and assistance but in work it can get complicated.

b. Types of friendshipsi. Superior-subordinate

ii. Customer relationsiii. Coworker/peer

1. Informational – focused on task messages, talk about job related issues, little disclosure/trust

2. Collegial – “work friends” talk about life outside of work but not everything

3. Special peers – communication moves beyond work placec. Friends are important at work – it makes work more enjoyable, coworkers are

more helpful and its easier to work as a team.d. 5 Tensions

i. Autonomy/connection1. Fueled by the fact that friends at work are together several

hours a day. Can cause person to feel “too close” and smothered.

2. Balance your independence but stay connectedii. Openness/closedness

1. Disclosures among friends – sharing stories about events in and out of the office.

2. Organizations have confidentiality guidelines that can restrict certain topics

3. Have to decide how open/closed you want to be.iii. Equality/Inequality

1. Characterized by status differentials. Role status factors in and inherent qualities may emerge. One person may be placed with job of reviewing performance of a friend. If one friend became the manager.

iv. Impartiality/favoritism 1. Treating all members the same (impartiality)

2. Inherent characteristic of friendships are to provide support, but ethical or moral codes may prescribe the equal treatment of all employees

v. Judgment/acceptance1. The relationship can be dramatically changed if you are friends

with your manager.2. Friends are expected to provide support and understanding

without judgment. But depending on one’s position, one may be required to assess one another’s work or performance

3. Cahill interviewed 19 pairs of friends: asked to indicate changes in relationship. Supported 3 distinct phases:

a. Transition from acquaintances to friends. Due to proximity.

b. Friend to close friend. Result of supportive message exchange

c. Transition from close to almost best friends. Level of intimacy increases. Intense level of trust

III. Mentor Relationshipa. Characterized by more experienced member serving as a role model, teacher

or guide for a colleague who is less experiencedb. Linked to an individual’s career progress, organizational influence and

upward mobility within the organizationc. Various types of mentors:

i. Supportive mentor – helps employee achieve goal (parent, cheerleader, groom)

1. Parent mentors – considered to be older and wiser. Have significant influence on other’s career

2. Cheerleader mentors – provides encouragement. Pride result3. Groom mentors – hold positions of power

ii. Self-promoter mentor – those who want to work with the best new members in order to surround themselves with high quality colleagues

iii. Guilt trip producer – motivates protégé by communicating messages of disappointment when performance fails to meet expectations

IV. Romantic Relationships at Worka. 58% admit to being involved in an office romanceb. Why does it happen?

i. Proximityii. Interpersonal attraction

iii. Romantic attractioniv. Conveniencev. Safety – know that coworkers have gone through background checks

vi. Arousal – successful, confident people in the work place, attractive to others

c. Motivation for romance: love, ego, jobi. Types: sincere love, the fling, ulitarian

d. Communication strategy often used is flirting. Danger:i. These behaviors also used for manipulative purposes; self-serving

purposese. Supervisors can be accused of showing favoritism f. Civil Rights Act of 1964 made sexual harassment illegal in the work place.

i. Sexual harassment – any unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors and other verbal or physical conduct of sexual nature

1. Quid pro quo – latin for “something for something”2. Hostile work environment – employees exchanging crude

jokes, stories in front of other employees. g. Problems with romance

i. Can lead to favoritism and jealousy, loss of respect from colleagues, damage to professional image, and loss of productivity

ii. Emotional aftermath has a potential impactV. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Communication in Work Relationships

a. Trust and disclosure are most important b. Informational Interview – method of gaining insight about an industry, in

which you interview multiple employees

c. Superiors are always seeking ways to enhance effectiveness:i. Organizational orientation theory – identifies 3 approaches used by

members to enact their work roles1. Upward mobiles – those members who demonstrate high level

of dedication toward accomplishing goals. 110%2. Indifferents – work as a means to earn a living. Work simply to

obtain paycheck3. Ambivalents – most difficult to communicate with.

a. Point out all the issues that need to be changed b. Become frustrated with workc. Best way to communicate with them is maintain neutral

topicsd. Ambivalent orientation – prevent

happiness/satisfaction. There is no perfect job.VI. Organizational Culture

a. Aspire for supervisors and subordinates to share a common visionb. Organizational culture – shared systems of symbols and meanings created by

members through their interactions with one anotherc. Help members understand their role in culture

i. Stories – help provide a rationale for the beliefs and values shared by supervisors and subordinates

ii. Language – serves to strengthen the bonds between colleagues. Creates means for distinguishing between members and non-members

iii. Rituals – used to make sense of their membership.1. Powerful messages are exchanged through these routine

behaviors2. Incorporating humor is one way of improving organizational

culture

VII. Socializationa. Typically evolves through 3 stages:

i. Anticipatory socialization phase – new members form expectations regarding role in the organization

ii. Encounter phase – includes orientation, trainings, mentoring etc..iii. Metamorphosis – involves changes in the new employee’s behavior to

adapt to the role expectations. Viewed as an insider now.VIII. Balancing Work and Family Relationships

a. Women report dividing their time between household and work related tasks while men report that the majority of their time is focused on work related tasks

b. When supervisors are supportive of these efforts to balance family and work, subordinates often report higher levels of job satisfaction

c. Child and elder care opportunities are provided d. Farley-Lucas discovered that valuable social support can be offered to

working mothers through conversations with coworkers about child rearinge. Routinizing actions – incorporate patterns or interactions to accomplish daily

routinesi. One strategy was connecting on a regular basis

f. Alternating – involves interactions between spouses to negotiate trade-offs or exchange tasks in the daily routine

i. Trade-offs – strategy that involves negotiating responsibilities between spouses when unique situations arise

g. Prepping – nightly strategy used to maintain order in the routineh. Reciprocating – involve conversations to coordinate the exchange of child

care issues on a regular basisi. Evading – involves withholding information or intentionally deceiving others

as a means for managing multiple demands