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Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

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ChildrenGrief & BereavementHow can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss

Erica Olsen

CQ UniversityMasters of Clinical Psychology

What Contributes to Loss

Consider these questions, think about your own grief experience for a moment…

• 1. Think about a loss you have experienced

• 2. What losses do you think children would experience

• 3. How does your own grief sit with you now

Page 3: Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

Loss is Universal

Grief is normal

No two grief's are the same

A part of living

A process we all go through

Page 4: Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

Sesame Street deals with the BIG emotions…………….

Page 5: Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

Living with the pain of LossSupporting grieving children

•Listen and give reassurance

•Provide the opportunity to express their feelings

•Be Consistent and provide a safe place

•Ensure responses are appropriate for the age

Page 6: Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

Grief Work

Supporting grieving children

• Acknowledge the reality of the death or loss

• Modify the family world view to incorporate the loss

• Re-organize the family system to help them move on

Page 7: Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

How can you help…..

“Walk through the process with the child”

RESPECTThe child’s need is to be respected, encourage them to talk about the loss

UNDERSTANDINGAs you gain understanding it will help you understand the child

ENABLEMENTWe don’t cure grief, we support and enhance the normal healing process

Page 8: Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

DEVELOPMENTAL DIFFERENCES

Why are children thinking and feeling this way ……

• Age 0-3 • No concept of death, no image of object or person• Experience the effect of the caregivers grief• Age 3-5• No understanding of permanency• Difficulty distinguishing fact from fantasy• Separation anxiety and fear• Age 6-10• May not realize every living thing dies they begin to understand death is

final• Begin to use coping strategies• Adolescents• Beginning to contemplate meaning and understand, death is final

Page 9: Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

What am I looking for in the Grief Process ……..

Page 10: Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

Mediating the risk……

• Developing and use of rituals• Managing any unfinished business• Education around death and grieving• Family and Peer support networks

Page 11: Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

ChildrenGrief and Loss • A final word from the author…… Remember to be a loving listener always

Erica OlsenCQUniversityMasters in Clinical Psychology.

Page 12: Children Grief & Bereavement How can we understand and help a child deal with their pain of loss Erica Olsen CQ University Masters of Clinical Psychology

Children Grief and Loss Useful Websites……..Cruse Bereavement Care: www.crusebereavementcare.org.ukThe Child Bereavement Trust: www.child bereavement.org.ukFactsheetsMental Health and Growing Up. For parents, tearchers and young people: www.repsych.ac.ukBooksWalsh, F & McGoldrick, M. (2004). Living Beyond Loss: Death in the FamilyWollfelt, A. D. (2001). 1. Healing a Childs Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas of Families,

Friends and Caregivers2. Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas, simple

tips for understanding and expressing your grief

http://www.repsych.ac.uk/

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