chapter 8 resolving conflict and achieving emotional balance

Chapter 8

Resolving Conflict and Achieving Emotional Balance

© 2012 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

Learning ObjectivesAfter studying Chapter 8, you will be able to:

8–2

List and describe the causes of workplace conflict.

Utilize assertiveness skills in conflict situations.

Understand when and how to implement effective negotiation skills.

Identify key elements of the conflict resolution process.

Describe how emotions influence thinking and behavior.

Describe factors that influence emotional development.

Learn how to deal with your anger and that of others.

Describe strategies for achieving emotional control.

© 2012 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved. 8–3

A New View of Conflict

• Traditional (Negative) View– A clash between incompatible people, ideas, or

interests

• New (Positive) View of Conflict– As a meaningful opportunity for personal growth

through the development and constructive use of conflict resolution skills

– As necessary for effective problem solving and for effective interpersonal relations

Finding the Root Causes of Conflict

• Unless the root cause (trigger) is identified, conflict is likely to recur

• If the trigger… – Stimulates constructive conflict, it can

be allowed to continue– Stimulates destructive conflict, steps

need to be taken to correct the problem

How do you distinguish the difference between constructive and destructive conflict?



FIGURE 8.1

Iceberg of Conflict


Root Causes of Conflict

Sources of Conflict

Ineffective Communication

Value and Culture Clashes

Organizational Change

Adversarial Management

Competition for Scarce Resources

Work Policies and Practices

Personality Clashes

Conflict Triggers

• Organizational Change

– Most organizations have tension between stability and change

– Too much stability and the organization may lose its competitive position in the market place

– Too much change and the mission blurs and employee anxiety develops


Conflict Triggers

• Ineffective Communication– Conflict may arise due to a misunderstanding

rather than a true disagreement

• Value and Culture Clashes– Differences in values and cultural traditions in

diverse workplaces may give rise to conflict

What is an example of work-related conflict that may arise due to confusing disagreement with misunderstanding?


Conflict Triggers

• Work Policies and Practices– Conflict may arise when policies are disobeyed

or perceived as unfair or confusing

• Adversarial Management– Conflict can occur when managers view

employees and other managers with distrust and suspicion


Conflict Triggers

• Competition for Scarce Resources– Downsizing and cost cutting can lead to

destructive competition for scarce resources

• Personality Clashes– Conflicts may arise due to differing

temperaments, communication styles, attitudes, or unknown reasons

“Some people just don’t get along.” Are personality clashes are resolvable?



Resolving Conflict Assertively

• Nonassertive Behavior– Attempting to avoid conflict by simply ignoring it.

• Assertive Behavior– Standing up for one’s rights and expressing

one’s thoughts and feelings in a direct, appropriate way

• Aggressive Behavior– Expressing thoughts and feelings and defending

rights in a way that violates the rights of others


How do you assertively resolve conflict with these characters?



FIGURE 8.2 Dealing with People You Can’t Stand

The Bully

Keep your cool. Immediately respond calmly and professionally to let the bully know you are not a target. Ask the bully to fully explain what he or she is trying to say, and then paraphrase your understanding of the bully’s real intentions.

The Backstabber

Once you’ve discovered your saboteur, tell key people that the person is, in fact, not a friend, which takes power from the backstabber and reveals the smear campaign.

The Whiner

Listen and write down their main points. Interrupt and get specifics so you can identify and focus on possible solutions. If they remain in “it’s hopeless” mode, walk away saying, “Let me know when you want to talk about a solution.”

The Jerk

They do not respond to normal pleas to change their behavior, so just back off. Do not take their bait; limit your contact with them, avoid conflict when possible, and always be on guard.


FIGURE 8.2 Dealing with People You Can’t Stand

The Know-It-All

Acknowledge their expertise, but be prepared with your facts. Use “I” statements, such as “From what I’ve read and experienced. . . .”

The Nebbish

Help them feel comfortable and safe in their decisions and stay in touch until the decision is implemented. Arrange deadlines and describe consequences that will result when they complete the tasks and what will happen if they don’t.

The Exploder

When an explosion begins, assertively repeat the individual’s name to get his or her attention, or repeat a neutral comment such as “Stop!” Calmly address what they said in their first few sentences, which usually reveals the real problem. Give them time to regain self-control. Suggest that they take time out to cool down, and then listen to their problems in private


TABLE 8.1 Behaviors Exhibited by Assertive, Aggressive, and Nonassertive Persons


• How to Become More Assertive:

– In the beginning, take small steps in asking that your desires or rights be considered

– Use nonthreatening messages and nonverbal cues to enhance the assertiveness of your requests for action

– Be soft on people and hard on the problem by focusing of the problem


Learn to Negotiate Effectively

When would you use each approach?


Empowered workers resolve conflict themselves

Win\Lose Approach

Each side attempts to achieve its goals at the expense of other side’s goals

Lose\Lose Approach

Both sides give up something and both may become frustrated

Win\Win Approach

Both sides attempt to achieve a creative solution that is mutually satisfying to both


FIGURE 8.3 Rob Walker

Learn to Negotiate Effectively

• Beware of Defensive Behaviors– When one person becomes defensive,

others may mirror the behavior– Progress is stopped because people stop

listening and think about defending

• Know That Negotiating Styles Vary– The style a manager develops is based on

personality, assertiveness skills, and past experiences dealing with conflict



FIGURE 8.4 Behavioral Styles for Conflict Situations

Conflict Resolution Process

5-Step Conflict Resolution Process



FIGURE 8.5 Behavior Is Influenced by Activating Events


Emotional Balance—An Introduction

• Emotion– Is a strong, temporary positive or negative

feeling– Can alter thought processes by directing

attention toward or away from things– Can trigger irrational thinking and behaviors

• Emotional Imbalance– Is inhibition in expressing certain emotions and

overexpression of other emotions


Emotional Balance—An Introduction

• Emotional Intelligence (EQ)– Is the ability to monitor and control one’s

emotions and behavior at work and in social settings.

• Dimensions of EQ– Personal competence in achieving and

maintaining an emotional balance– Social competence in relationships with others


Emotional Factors at Work

• Relationship Strategy– Is a firm’s plan for establishing, building, and

maintaining quality relationships with customers

• Emotional Labor– Taxes the mind and is often more difficult to

handle than physical labor.

• Toxic Emotions– Demoralize employees, damage performances,

and contaminate the health of the organization



• Temperament– Is a person’s individual style of expressing

needs and emotions– Is both biologically and genetically based

• Unconscious Mind– Is the part of the mind of which we are unaware– Is a vast storehouse of forgotten memories,

desires, ideas, and frustrations



• Cultural Intelligence (CQ)– Is the ability to interpret human actions,

gestures, and speech patterns in an unfamiliar cultural situation and then respond appropriately


Coping with Your Anger and the Anger of Others

• Anger Defined:– A strong feeling of displeasure and antagonism

• Managing Your Anger– Self-monitor your anger:

• How often do you get angry?• What is its source or cause?• How upsetting is your anger?• How well do you manage your anger?


Effective Ways to Express Your Anger

1. Avoid reacting in a manner that could be seen as emotionally unstable.

2. Do not make accusations or attempt to fix blame.

3. Express your feelings in a timely manner.

4. Be specific as you describe the factors that triggered your anger, and be clear about the resolution you are seeking.


How to Handle Other People’s Anger

1. Recognize and accept the other person’s anger.

2. Encourage the angry person to vent his or her feelings.

3. Do not respond to an angry person with your own anger.

4. Give the angry person feedback.


Strategies for Achieving Emotional Control

• Identifying Your Emotional Patterns– Keep a record or journal of feelings– Spend time in quiet reflection– Chart your emotional landscape


TABLE 8.2 Charting Your Emotional Landscape



• Fine-Tuning Your Emotional Style– Take responsibility for your emotions– Put your problems into proper perspective– Take steps to move beyond toxic emotions such

as envy, anger, jealousy, or hatred– Give your feelings some exercise



• Adjusting to Cope with Difficult Decisions– Take only actions that feel good at the moment– Behave in a manner that is acceptable to the

people around you

© 2012 Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

KEY TERMS

8–35

conflict

conflict trigger

nonassertive behavior

assertive behavior

aggressive behavior

win/lose approach

lose/lose approach

win/win approach

conflict resolution process

emotion

emotional intelligence

temperament

unconscious mind

cultural intelligence

anger

chapter 8 resolving conflict and achieving emotional balance

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