Chapter 8Chapter 8

Managing Conflictin Relationships

Managing Conflictin Relationships

The Break Up (2006)The Break Up (2006)

A negative interaction between two or more interdependent people, rooted in some actual or perceived disagreement

A negative interaction between two or more interdependent people, rooted in some actual or perceived disagreement

ConflictConflict

The way we engage in conflict and address disagreements with our relational partners

The way we engage in conflict and address disagreements with our relational partners

Conflict ManagementConflict Management

Unproductive ConflictUnproductive Conflict Conflict that is managed poorly Has a negative impact on the

individuals and the relationship Can lead to health problems Leads to aggression in the

relationship

Conflict that is managed poorly Has a negative impact on the

individuals and the relationship Can lead to health problems Leads to aggression in the

relationship

Productive ConflictProductive Conflict Conflict that is managed

effectively

Fosters healthy debate

Leads to better decision making

Spurs relationship growth

Conflict that is managed effectively

Fosters healthy debate

Leads to better decision making

Spurs relationship growth

Inaccurate perceptions

Unbalanced costs and rewards

Incompatible goalsProvocation

Inaccurate perceptions

Unbalanced costs and rewards

Incompatible goalsProvocation

Conflict TriggersConflict Triggers

Power DynamicsDifferences in power

related to: Resources Feelings Anything the other

values

Power DynamicsDifferences in power

related to: Resources Feelings Anything the other

values

Factors Affecting ConflictFactors Affecting Conflict

Attitudes Toward Conflict Affect how willing you are to

discuss disagreements Affect how productively you

handle conflict Communication boundary

management

Attitudes Toward Conflict Affect how willing you are to

discuss disagreements Affect how productively you

handle conflict Communication boundary

management

Factors Affecting ConflictFactors Affecting Conflict

Culture and Conflict Individualistic cultures

Emphasize personal needs, rights, and identity

“I” attitude

Collectivistic cultures Emphasize group identity and

needs “We” attitude

Culture and Conflict Individualistic cultures

Emphasize personal needs, rights, and identity

“I” attitude

Collectivistic cultures Emphasize group identity and

needs “We” attitude

Factors Affecting ConflictFactors Affecting Conflict

Culture and Conflict Religious differences Gender differences

Criticism and complaints Contempt Defensiveness Stonewalling

Culture and Conflict Religious differences Gender differences

Criticism and complaints Contempt Defensiveness Stonewalling

Factors Affecting ConflictFactors Affecting Conflict

Communication Channel Poor channel choices can lead to

conflict Appropriate Channels?

Communication Channel Poor channel choices can lead to

conflict Appropriate Channels?

Factors Affecting ConflictFactors Affecting Conflict

Escapist Strategies Try to prevent or avoid direct

conflict Can be safety reasons, practical

reasons, or strategic reasons for this strategy

Escapist Strategies Try to prevent or avoid direct

conflict Can be safety reasons, practical

reasons, or strategic reasons for this strategy

Strategies for Managing ConflictStrategies for Managing Conflict

Challenging Strategies Assertiveness Get what you want without

letting anxiety, guilt, or embarrassment get in the way

One partner wins and the other loses

Challenging Strategies Assertiveness Get what you want without

letting anxiety, guilt, or embarrassment get in the way

One partner wins and the other loses

Strategies for Managing ConflictStrategies for Managing Conflict

Cooperative Strategies Focus on issues Debate and argue Consider options and alternatives Consider the importance of the

outcome Reassure your partner

Cooperative Strategies Focus on issues Debate and argue Consider options and alternatives Consider the importance of the

outcome Reassure your partner

Strategies for Managing ConflictStrategies for Managing Conflict

Compromise Both sides give up a little to get a

little Can be arrived at through:

Trading Random selection

Has disadvantages for long-term important relationships

Compromise Both sides give up a little to get a

little Can be arrived at through:

Trading Random selection

Has disadvantages for long-term important relationships

Conflict OutcomesConflict Outcomes

Win-Win Both parties meet their

own goals Each party helps the

other party with his/her goals

The relationship is improved

Win-Win Both parties meet their

own goals Each party helps the

other party with his/her goals

The relationship is improved

Conflict OutcomesConflict Outcomes

Lose-LoseNeither party gets what they want

SeparationRemove yourself from the situation to

end the conflictAllocation of Power

Take responsibility for some decisions

Lose-LoseNeither party gets what they want

SeparationRemove yourself from the situation to

end the conflictAllocation of Power

Take responsibility for some decisions

Conflict OutcomesConflict Outcomes