Changing the same

The main reason I want to do this is not only because it will be helping a friend but it will also help me myself understand the

sequence of events, decisions and people who have moulded me into the person I am right now. With no intention of glamorising or

trying to make the life I used to life sound like it’s something to be proud of, if I want to be as honest as possible and really keep it as

real and blunt as I can then, the truth is the years where I was involved with gangs and committing crimes where the best days of

my life and I enjoyed every moment that I experienced. However a part of being honest is also expressing the aftermath and

consequences of those days.

From seeing my friends and family go to prison to almost going prison myself, I literally got the lightest sentence for the crimes I

committed. I always hear people say (mainly my mum) “you’re not a bad person, you just do bad things”, I disagree, I think it’s the

opposite, I think I am a bad person who does good things once in a while. The reason for this perception of myself is because if I

could count the amount of times I feel like physically assaulting someone, no one specific just someone who in anyway deserves

my scorn then I would be counting for a long time. I don’t feel like being violent out of anger, I enjoyed/enjoy hurting people who I

feel deserve it. However I do have good traits, I am literally the most loyal person you can ever meet. If I call you my peoples or

even further my brother then you should know that any person who approaches you with any disrespectful or violent intent will be

unconscious before they can even attempt to carry out their intentions. So In a way my mums right…I think.

I was born in Zimbabwe but came to this country when I was three years old and I grew up in South-East London, the borough of

Lewisham in an area called Grove Park. If anyone knows anything about gang culture then they know that the majority of the time it

doesn’t start off with bad intentions however in the case of SG this wasn’t true. It started off with the intention to hurt people and

make a reputation for hurting people. While 90% of gangs that where our enemies where from the same borough as us, it didn’t

start of like this. There once was a time we was altogether, even though I was 5 years old during these times I made it my objective

to be the best gang-member I could be and a part of this was learning my history, not as a black African but as a black gang

member. Originally before everybody split up and made their own gangs there was one gang that represented the whole of

Lewisham Borough which is widely referred to Blue Borough being all the bins in the borough are blue. This might not seem like

something unique but if we count individual areas that are within the Lewisham Borough then from the top of my head I can name

18 different areas each with their own schools, both primary and secondary their own estates and their own micro community. The

gang that represented this area and the 280,000 people that live in it was called the Ghetto Boys, consisting of mostly Jamaican

youths whose parents came to the country after the Second World War.

The leader of this gang was a man called Andrew Wanogho aka Sparks. This being the most infamous name in the borough

anyone who knows their history knows who Sparks is or at least heard stories of his life. Although Sparks was murdered in 2008

people still talk about him till this day almost 8 years later and if you’re the most active gang member your name fades away after

you spend 3 years in jail or even 2 years after your death. With stories about him being the reason behind the infamous Peckham vs

Ghetto beef due to him murdering a well-known Peckham gang member to him going to America starting an amateur boxing

campaign consisting of 9 fights with 9 KO’s before being arrested and spending time in New York’s Rikers Island due to him

snatching the rapper Ja-Rules chain and punching him in the face, if anyone needed a gang member to look up to and aspire to be

Sparks was the person we would use.

Although at first Sparks was the leader of the Ghetto Boys which consisted of every area, in any situation when you have black

testosterone filled men whose answer to everything is violence and maintaining false pride there is going to be conflict. Why the

Ghetto Boys split exactly is debated, some say Sparks and other well-known Ghetto Boy legends such as Kraver robbed some

Ghetto members from an area called Brockley which led to inner conflict within the gang which soon resulted in Ghetto boys not

only shooting and killing Peckham boys but members of their own gang as well. After a while every area picked sides based on

geographical reasons and family as well school ties. This meant areas where Sparks and other leading figures where from such as

New Cross and Deptford started warring with areas such as Brockley, Catford and Ladywell. After a while the term Ghetto Boy was

no longer used and the split was solidified into the two first major rival gangs within Lewisham called Shower (New Cross, Deptford,

Lewisham, Grove Park) to Anti-Shower (Brockley, Turnham, Catford, Ladywell). After Sparks death this split multiplied into each

area having its own gang and this is when I came into the picture.

In order to understand the stories and situations I am going to tell you I’m going to have to explain all the gangs that are relevant

the areas they are from, the colours they represent, their allies and most importantly their enemies. So I am just going to split it up

into a list of names.

• Area: New Cross / Colour: Blue / Gang Name: New Ghetto Boys / Allies: Deptford Boys / Enemies: SG, Sydenham Boys

(and more recently a certain part of Peckham as well as inner conflicts with past friends.)

• Area: Deptford / Colour: Blue / Gang Name: Deppy Boys / Allies: New Cross, Ferrier Boys, Black Mafia / Enemies:

Turnham, SG and No Manners aka Queens Road.

• Area: Ladywell / Colour: Black / Gang Name: Black Mafia / Allies: Catford and Deptford / Enemies: SG.

• Area: Sydenham / Colour: Grey / Gang Name: Sydenham Boys / Allies: Turnham, Brockley, Queens Road / Enemies:

Deptford and SG as well as some inner conflict recently.

• Area: Turnham / Colour: Grey / Gang Name: Turnham Boys (Grey Gang) / Allies: Brockley, Sydenham, Catford /

Enemies: SG and Deptford and more recently a few members of the Peckham Boys.

• Area: Brockley / Colour: None / Gang Name: No gang name (Usually allied with other gangs whenever it’s time to

represent themselves) / Allies: Sydenham, Turnham (Some of Lewisham and New Cross) / Enemies: SG, New Cross

and Deptford.

• Area: Catford / Colour: Black / Gang Name: Block 6 (Black Mafia members also live in Catford) / Allies: Turnham /

Enemies: SG

• Area: Grove Park / Colour: Blue / Gang Name: SG (Shanks and Guns, Shower Gang, Shoot Gun) / Allies: Previously

Turnham and Deptford but this ended / Enemies: Everyone.

In this culture there is two types of gang members, those who naturally progressed into gangs and those who chose to be in a gang

for personal reasons. In my case it was a bit of both. Those who naturally progressed into gangs tend to be children born in council

estates where gangs are already developed, most of the time their older brothers or cousins sometimes even uncles would have

been in the gang so throughout their childhood the gang culture was always present and normal within their life, the school they go

to is the local school so it’s filled with gang members from that area, the friends you make in the school are in the same situation

and soon enough your all gang members. Then there are those who chose to be in a gang for personal reasons, this can

sometimes be because they are scared and need protection, they want to earn a reputation, they feel pressured because everyone

else is doing it, they want to live the life they see in movies or listen to in music. With me my area was full of gang members as well

as my secondary school however the main reason was because I wanted to be respected, I wanted a reputation and the easiest

way I knew how was joining the gang.

Being in a gang is the easiest part, the hardest part of the transition from being a school boy into a gang member who is destined

for prison or death is being accepted by older gang members. In America to join gangs you have to show your strength and courage

by allowing the gang members you want to accept you to attack you, this never made sense to me. The way I joined was there was

a French boy around the area called Claude or C1 as he liked toz be called, he had just moved from France to live with his sister

and little brother and he could barely speak English however after 3 months of moving into the country his name was spreading

across the area being he was already a gang member and actively putting in work. I was fortunate enough to have met him in the

first two weeks of him coming to this country. Once I decided with my day one friends that this was what we was going to do and the

life we was going to live we befriended Claude on a personal level and we started hanging around with him on a day to day basis

rather than just speaking when we see each other. Soon enough he would take us around the older gang members and at this time

the amount of young gang members was limited to Claude and some of his school friends so they was happy to see more youngers

getting involved. All it took for me to show that I was willing to commit crimes and represent the gang in the negative light they

wanted was me walking to into shops looking at the shop keeper picking up a few drinks, crisps and biscuits and then walking out

without paying, not running literally staring in their eyes as I slowly walked out of the shops with £6 worth of snacks in my hand. This

used to amuse the older members of the gang and they soon took me under their wing and started filling my head with nonsense

philosophies such as you never run from beef and if you attack someone you wasn’t successful unless they nearly died in hospital.

Soon enough we was recruiting other young members as well as people coming to us to join the gang. Although there was a point

there was like 35 of us I’m going to name the main younger members of SG, it was Me, Mikes, Pedro, Serge, Claude, Krazy D,

Blinks, Pitch, Twins (Gael and Gaetan) ,Mad Jeff, Mad Kevin, Felix, Demar, Nosey, Young Wacky, Starz, T.Drowzy, Littlez (Not my

littles a different one called Tashaun), Nutkase and Y.Redrum. When people said Y.SG they would 98/100 times be talking of these

names.

As a gang member I was different to some of the other young members, while they were already suspended from secondary school

and going to units, I was still in secondary school which in my eyes meant that I was smarter. While they would go out every day

and gang bang which doesn’t only mean riding on enemies but in general representing the gang so this could be walking around

rival areas in gang colours, meeting up with girls, going on robbery sprees which we called hot grinds at that time or even studio to

record music for the gang I would go home after school and stay home, my gang banging was strictly Friday to Sunday. When

Friday did come I would participate with the other members and do more for the days that I had missed, I was notorious for

committing robberies by myself and I did these spontaneous robberies so many times it became second nature to see a face I didn’t

recognise in the area and automatically ask why they was in the area and what phone they had. Luckily for me none of these times

ended up bad for me being nobody is superman and I am very lucky to not have done it to a bigger wolf than me at the time that

would have ended terribly. Apart from Mad Kevin and T.Drowzy I was the youngest member of the gang and majority of the time

those two would be in jail so I was generally regarded as the youngest and as the youngest I had more to prove, I personally made

it my own objective to be the youngest most active crazy gang member I could be and although I didn’t succeed in the way I wanted

to I am grateful because that would have certainly meant me spending this time in jail.

A memory that I won’t forget is the first time we went to ride on the BM’s (Black Mafia), for me it wasn’t planned I was outside the

chicken and chips shop with Pedro on a Friday night when I got a call from Serge asking for our whereabouts and telling us to get

on the 124 that would be passing by in the next 10 minutes which we did. Once we got on the bus we saw 75% of the bus filled with

familiar faces, mainly the older members of the gang and some of the younger members. I asked Serge what was going on and he

told me we was riding out, at first I was sceptical being I didn’t understand why this wasn’t planned however I soon realised that this

would be my opportunity to earn my name in the gang. Once we got to Catford we all got off the bus a group of about 24 youths

walking through the area like we were untouchable, no one will understand the definition of mob mentality until they are around a

dozen people all wearing the same colours throwing up gang signs.

As we walked we saw girls getting excited, certain youths crossing the road and turning corners, funny enough I didn’t even know

who we was looking for but all I knew was if we saw one of them I was going to be the first to attack. Through the long walk from

Catford to Ladywell I realised Krazy D was walking behind everyone and looking nervous when I asked what was wrong he told me

that he was the gun holder for the day, this was not a good thing being no matter what sooner or later police was going to stop and

search us which meant that he would be taking the case. Like an idiot I told him to give me the bag with the gun in and I would hold

it, a part of was just excitement to feel a gun and have it on me, the other part was me showing that we wasn’t just fellow gang

members but genuine friends. Once we got the Ladywell we encountered a group of boys who as soon as they saw us ran into a flat

and switched off the lights we tried to kick down the door but this failed so we just stood outside the flat taunting the members of

Black Mafia that were hiding inside, after seeing this I assumed that the whole gang was full of cowards, which is an ignorant

statement because after a few incidents I soon realised that to this day there is certain members of that gang that I really do not

want to see again. After this Serge convinced me to make someone else hold the gun so I gave it to C1 who like an idiot threw the

gun outside the flat when police came and searched everyone instead of running away from everyone and stashing it somewhere

else. Needless to say once we left the Black Mafia came outside found the gun and called older members taunting them on their

stupidity, the awkward part for me was being a part of the dumb ass youngers who lost one of the only guns we had at the time,

although it wasn’t me who lost it we all got grilled.

From 13 I couldn’t wait to stab someone being it was part of your development as a gang member, you go from stealing to robbing,

to chasing rival members or attacking rival gang members, to stabbing your enemies to shooting your enemies and the ultimate

crime killing your enemy. Some of us skipped some of these steps such as Krazy D whose first stabbing resulted in a death,

however my progression was slow but once I did my first stabbing it wasn’t long before I did my second, third and fourth. My first

wasn’t even an enemy it was just a robbery that went wrong, while we tried to set up some guy who wanted to purchase some weed,

he tried to set us up to take our weed although this didn’t happen one being we didn’t have any weed and two because Mikes hit

him with a harder punch than I have ever seen, this angered me being once we searched him he didn’t have any money on him so I

resulted into stabbing him a few times in the legs. Not very crazy but I was 14 so I was proud of myself at the time.

We was chilling in Chimbrook Estate, it was me, Mikes, Serge, Pedro, one of the twins (I cant remember which one it was cause

they look EXACTLY the same) and C1. C1 got a call from a girl saying she has a house move for us, one of her neighbours who

she hated and they was going on holiday today and they had drugs in the house (Which was a lie she just wanted to get back at

them for calling her a slore). An hour later we was outside her house looking at the house we was planning to rob it and trying to

figure out how we was going to do it. Once we decided that we was going to just kick the door down (that’s how dumb we was) the

we started walking toward the house, as a showcase to their unwillingness to participate to the planned act Michael, Pedro and C1

allowed themselves to get distracted by some girls while walking to the house, me Serge and Twin didn’t care I was desperate to

put work in and Serge was desperate to make some money. Once we got to the door we realised it was thick and wooden with

metal locks and there was no way we was going to kick it down, next thing you know twin noticed a opened top window and just

started scaling a drain pipe like he was Tarzan’s son, he managed to climb as high as the top window and reach for the window

opening it wider and jumping inside. Once the door opened me and Serge ran into the house as quick as we could closing the door

behind us and began raiding the house looking for the drugs, which we obviously didn’t find so after 3 minutes in the house we ran

out being the number one rule was no matter what never spend longer than 5 minutes in a house your robbing, that’s the amount of

time it takes for a neighbour or person to see you, call the police and for the police to arrive. Once we ran out the door Mikes, Pedro

and C1 were waiting outside looking confused once they realised what had happened they ran as well with everyone splitting up.

We all met up outside C1’s house; I managed to get a PlayStation 2 and a wallet. Twin got a laptop and Serge found £60 in a jar in

the kitchen. Funny enough those who didn’t participate asked how we was going to split the findings, after a few confused looks and

a shut up the rule was made, what you find you keep.

On May 5th 2010 everything changed, that day was the beginning of the end for not only my gang-member status but for a

significant number of my friends, partners in crime, fellow gang-members and my brothers. What started off, as a normal

Wednesday school day became one of the biggest days of my life where my whole experiences from that day forward could have

been completely different to what they have been since. I went to school like any other weekday however when I got home I

switched off my phone and went to sleep until 6am the next day. When I woke up and switched on my phone I had over 8 missed

calls and a large amount of texts from various people but majority came from Serge. Serge was and still is one of my closest friends,

he is my older brother and one the only people I know no matter what will be willing to kill as well die for me. We first met when I

was in reception at four years old and while he is two years above me it was through his relationship with my older brother we

became friends. In a circle I call my day ones for obvious reasons there is me, Michael, Pedro and Serge or MEPS for short. These

three I have been friends with since primary school with Michael being my cousin on my mother’s side. We went same primary

school, Serge went to a different secondary school because he was smarter than all of us so his parents managed to get him into a

grammar school however I Michael and Pedro all went to Kemnal Technology College, a boy’s secondary school located in the

borders of London and Kent. Michael and Pedro are a year above me so they went to sixth form before me but before I could join

them they went to prison.

The reason I diverted from the story is because this background is needed to understand the impact of everyone’s actions on the

5th of May. The reason I got so many calls and texts is because members of Black Mafia had gone to C1’s secondary school to try

and catch him at a vulnerable time, luckily there was teachers there and C1 went to school with Krazy D and Pitch so nothing really

happened apart from some shouting and some threats that turned out to be more serious than anyone would have imagined. After

the Black Mafia came to C1’s school everyone was told to meet up at Grove Park Station because we were riding out (going to the

enemy’s territory to attack them). My phone was off so I missed this meeting, Pedro has always been the calm member of the gang

who everyone knew didn’t like gang-banging but he did it to make sure nothing happened to me Michael or Serge so on that day it’s

no surprise that Pedro decided to miss this one out however Michael’s reason for not showing up are just as unusual as mine being

he was at his door step about to leave to go to the meeting point when a friend of his called and convinced him to not miss football

training being Michael always wanted to become a professional football player and next to gang-banging nothing was more

important than football to him. So on this day all three of us didn’t go but Serge did, in fact he played a significant part in gathering

all the members and organising the group. Altogether 12 members of SG went to Sydenham to go and find the Black Mafia and

Sydenham Boys, once they got there they found out Krazy D stabbed and killed a member of the Sydenham Boys. Everyone who

was there was arrested within two weeks and this caused a split between the remaining SG’s and those incarcerated. People began

to pick sides based on who they were closer to, on one side there was Krazy D, C1, Serge, Starz, Skarzy and the other there was

Y.Drowzy (The founder of SG), T.Drowzy, and Sheldon (Y.Drowzy’s older brother). Being Y.Drowzy was the founding member of

the gang majority of members that were still free took his side while the remaining members of MEPS took the side Serge was on

being our relationship was deeper than gang-banging. Krazy D got 15 years, Y.Drowzy got 14 years, Serge got 12 years whereas

C1, Skarzy, T.Drowzy got manslaughter which meant 8 years and Starz got 7 years. Some of them I haven’t seen since, with C1

being released and deported back to France and losing direct contact with Krazy D the only ones I still have direct contact with is

Serge and Starz, who at this moment in time has served his sentence however is in deportation centre on the way to Belgium. From

what I hear from Serge Krazy D has changed for the worse and has no care for anything anymore, his reputation and name has

increased since his sentencing and he is well known for being an extremely violent prisoner who holds status within the prisons he

stays in.

For the rest of the members who didn’t go to jail at that time to tell their individual stories would be time consuming and pointless

because it is all pretty much the same. Some of them switched sides and joined rival gangs such as Nutkase and Romez. Some of

them decided to focus on money when they are not in jail such as Rah Rah, Baz, Chinkz and Y.Redrum. Some decided to pursue

music such as Reeko, and some still represent SG which is now called Splash Gang with splash meaning spending money. Felix,

Mad Jeff and Mad Kevin caught a murder case in 2012 after encountering members of Block 6 in a house party and Felix fatally

stabbing one of them, however they were all found not guilty for self-defence. I stay in touch with all three and I see them whenever

there is an event or party to go to. Y.Wacky and Blinks had a falling out however whenever I am in London that’s who I am around.

Michael and Pedro caught a gun case in 2012 as well, they both got found guilty of possession of a fire arm and each received

three years with both of them coming out in the last few months. Pedro has changed however Michael is as active as ever, as I’m

writing this I got a phone call about Michael encountering an older member of the Ferrier Boys and attacking him resulting in the

member running into a police station in fear for his life. I don’t blame Michael being the same violent thoughts I have, so does he I

just have benefit of being in a peaceful environment where everyone around me is a friend and I don’t have to worry about enemies.

My presence in University is solely based on factors of luck and changes in perspective. Michael and Pedro both went to jail the

summer before I started sixth form so I was alone, Blinks went to jail for knife possession and the only person I had who I had one

hundred percent trust in was my friend Muiz. I met Muiz in year 7 and while at first we were unacknowledged enemies being he was

a threat to my status as king of my academic year due to the fact on the first day he had built a reputation of being ready to fight at

whatever time, he was just as large as me and he didn’t try force friendship with me like everyone else. I went into secondary school

with the intention to follow the footsteps of Michael and Pedro and assert my dominance over my year as being the toughest, the

most violent and the boss however Muiz came to secondary school with the intention of being left alone and having fun by himself

doing what he wanted to do without anyone bothering him and those who dared would regret it as a few people in my year soon

found out. However we became friends when I thought I saw someone bullying him and I automatically came to his aid due to the

fact I thought the reasoning behind it was racist, he saw my good intentions and respect it, since then we have been inseparable.

Throughout my gang banging stages he never got involved, although whenever he was with me and we encountered enemies he

would fight with me and defend me just as fast as my fellow gang-members he never understood the gang culture and he despised

it, he was a gangster without a gang.

Through sixth form I continued to have altercations, many originating from me feeling disrespected due to my perception of myself

as a dangerous gang member, which everyone should steer clear of otherwise there, would be problems. I managed to get

suspended twice due to me punching an affiliate of the Sydenham Boys on premise and trying to sneak one of my friends into

college. I also managed to punch two other students on different occasions and stab another student from my college at a house

party. For these offenses I never got in academic trouble however I did bring drama to the college which resulted in me being on my

final warning throughout my last year of six form. At the time me and Muiz were also single handily warring with members of the

Farrier Boys with us making sure whenever we caught one or two of them alone or separate from their gang we would take the

opportunity and attack them, this worked until they found out where I lived which resulted in me having to swallow my pride and end

the problems we had with each other. I was starting to think about future consequences rather than immediate gratification. Once

this happened I started thinking more and more about how I didn’t want to end up like my cousin or my other friends, how I could do

better and that I would be foolish to make the same mistakes many before me had made. So I stopped, I laid low and I stayed in my

house most days due to the fact I realised that me going outside meant trouble. I worked hard in my A-levels and I focused more on

other things rather than conflicts with my enemies. I managed to get an A in Business a B in Sociology and a C in History. I am

proud of what I have achieved so far and so are my friends, those who are incarcerated and those free they all remind me that I

have made it further than them and I shouldn’t take the chance for granted. While they are still in South London warring with various

enemies and doing unsavoury things for money, they are all smart enough to know their choices are wrong and I made the right

choices at the right time. Those that are no longer in prison may be free from being physically trapped in a cell but I believe they are

still trapped in a cell mentally with the majority of them still focusing on reputation, perceptions of those who don’t matter, quick

money and an area which they don’t own and has no love for us being we ruined it, so where before I was say free someone and

mean I want them to come out of prison regardless of their crime I know say free someone meaning free them from the burden of

gang-banging culture and immediate gratification.