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Cell Group Lesson – Anger 03.02.11

Schedule 5:30 – Arrive at your home; Pray first. 5:40 – Prep Food and Environment. 5:50 – All prep work should be done. 6:00 – Meet and greet as people start showing up

6:25 – Start Cell Group Lesson - Vision Statement – 2 minutes - Ice Breaker – 5 minutes - Topic Introduction – 5 minutes - Discussion – 5 minutes - Bible Lesson – 10 minutes - Gospel Presentation – 5 minutes - Invitation and Prayer – 3 minutes

7:00 – Lesson Ends, Spend time hanging out with your cell group. 7:30 – Everybody goes home (thank adult for providing their home). Vision statement: The point of Cell Group is to talk about things we’re going through and to see if we can get God’s perspective. Feel free to talk or stay quiet and take everything in. Remember, everything that is said here tonight needs to stay here and remain confidential. Also remember that since we are in mixed company and in a group setting, you will want to use discretion with what you are saying. But, please share anything that you would like to share. Ice Breaker: Have you ever broken anything when you were angry? If so, what was it? Topic: The topic for tonight is anger, and it’s something that everyone deals with. It stems from getting mildly upset to getting totally out of control. It’s important for us to learn to deal with the anger because dealing with anger is a part of life.

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Activity: The following are a few sentences about anger. If you agree, put your thumb up and if you disagree put your thumb down.

o It’s better to get your anger out than to keep it all inside of you.

o Don’t get mad, get even. o When I get mad, stuff gets broken. o Hardly anything makes me mad. o I have the right to get angry with someone who hurts me. o God doesn’t want us to get angry. o It’s O.K. to get angry about abortion. o It’s O.K. to get angry about racism.

Discussion:

• When you’re angry, do you normally bang or throw things, refuse to talk to people, argue, hit, scream, or cry?

• If you don’t do any of those things, what do you do when you get angry?

• What’s the angriest you’ve ever gotten? How did you handle your anger?

• What about your family? What happens when members of your family get mad at each other, and how does it affect the rest of your family?

People can sometimes say things that they don’t mean when they are angry. Sometimes we can say something to try and get the upper edge in an argument, or we try and to get back at the person we’re angry with. Oftentimes we only end up hurting the other person.

• Does anybody have an example when they said something while being angry that hurt the other person?

• What if the roles were reversed? Does anybody have an example when they were on the receiving end of somebody saying something when they were really angry that really hurt you?

• How do you feel when you have been treated unfairly? • How about when you’re next in line but somebody else gets helped

first? • Have you ever had somebody follow you around the store to make

sure you didn’t steal anything—simply because you are young? How did it make you feel?

• Does anyone have anything that makes you upset because you think it’s unfair?

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A lot of times anger is not the true emotion that is happening. The real emotion that is there is a feeling of hurt, embarrassment, jealousy, or disappointment. Most people are afraid to feel vulnerable and instead show off a feeling of anger towards something or someone.

• Have any of you been in a situation where you were extremely hurt by something, but instead of showing you were hurt, you got mad?

Bible Example: James 1:19 says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” So according to this verse, we must listen to people carefully but watch what we say and don’t be too quick to jump to conclusions and get angry. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” This verse shows how we need to be nice to those whom we are frustrated and angry with. It’s like putting water on a fire rather than gasoline. Anger is not a bad thing. Even Jesus got angry at sin and injustice. We need to learn how to get angry without harming ourselves or others. When we get angry, we must learn to honestly tell someone that they are treating us unfairly and we are hurt by it. If we don’t tend to our hurt feelings, we can start to turn them into rage. There is a story in the book of Genesis about anger, jealousy, and even murder.

Genesis 4:3-8 “And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Lord. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flocks and of the fat thereof. And the Lord has respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell. And the Lord said unto Cain ‘Why art thou wroth and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? And if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.’ And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.”

In this story we can see how God asked Cain to do a specific task. He failed. Instead, he went the other route and ended up killing his brother in a jealous rage. Sadly, things like this still go on today. Relationships can go sour at the drop of a dime, and we must be willing to face the hurt that comes with it and to listen to what God has to say about it.

• What do you think is the root cause of anger and violence in relationships?

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Application: An issue of control can be a big cause of angry fights and arguments in relationships. When people don’t cooperate like we want them to, we feel as though we are losing control. Then we get mad, and this can make us feel like we have control over the situation again. Getting help is the best way to deal with anger. You can talk to good friends that will help keep you accountable to your anger. And you can turn to God’s Word. There are many places in the Bible that talk about having self control. (Proverbs 16:32) He has written down all of His great advice in the Bible, and who better to help you get in control than the One who is in control of it all? Anger is a very powerful emotion that can ruin someone’s life if they let it. However, the love of Jesus Christ can overpower any anger that dwells within. You don’t have to battle for control when you place your life in Christ’s hands. 4 Spiritual Laws: In order to begin a relationship with God, you must first understand that:

1. God loves you and desires to be in a personal relationship with you.

2. But all of us have sin in our lives and that sin has separated us from God, making a relationship with Him impossible.

3. But God loved you and me so much that He made a way for us to come back to Him. He sent His Son Jesus to earth to take the penalty for our sin. Jesus paid for our sin by dying on a cross, being buried, and rising again on the third day. He now offers you the gift of an eternal relationship with Himself.

4. Lastly, you must receive this gift by faith. You cannot earn your way to heaven. You simply must ask Jesus to come into your life and save you.

Invitation & Prayer: Now I realize that many of you have already made that decision but I would like to provide an opportunity for others to begin a relationship with Jesus. Can everyone please bow their heads and close their eyes. If you would like to begin a relationship with Jesus tonight, just speak these words to God from your heart after me. It’s not the words that save you, but it’s meaning them in your heart.

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“Dear God, I realize tonight that you love me and desire to be in a personal relationship with me. I realize that my sin has made that impossible. But tonight I am turning from my sin and towards you. I believe that you died for my sin and that you rose from the dead three days later. Please forgive me of my sins. Thank you for sending your son to earth to die for me. I want to spend eternity with you in heaven. Amen. If you just prayed that prayer to God, would you just look up at me so that I can know that you gave your life to God. Invitation and Prayer: I realize that many of you have already made that decision, but I would like to give you an opportunity to do so if you never have before. Would everyone please bow their heads and close their eyes. If you would like to begin a personal relationship with Jesus tonight, just repeat after me and open your heart to God. Realize that these words mean nothing without faith. You have to fully believe that He is the only way to heaven. “Dear God, I know that I’m a sinner. I realize that you desire a personal relationship with me. I know that you sent your only Son Jesus, to die on the cross for my sins, and that He died, was buried, rose again three days later, and conquered sin’s power. God I love you with all my heart and ask that you take my sin and come into my life tonight. In Jesus’ name, amen!” Keep everyone’s head bowed. Ask: “If you just prayed that prayer, would you please look up at me.” Close in prayer! Whoever looks up at you, a leader should pull them to the side later and talk to them about the decision they just made. Make sure you give information about what to do from this point. Close Session:

‐ Thank the parents for opening up their house to you. ‐ Remind everyone about Sunday Morning Small Groups. ‐ Clean-up!