Bury Church of England

High School

GCSE English Language

OCR Revision Guide

Section A – Writing

All Tiers of Entry

Mrs Brannon-Barnett 2015

Create a revision poster for Key Stage Three classes which shows them

how to use colons and semi-colons correctly.

Practise writing simple, compound and complex sentences.

Practise creating your own techniques.

Work through the list of past writing questions, creating fishbone plans

and practising writing introductions/conclusions and then working up to

full answers in 50 minutes.

Go through an example of your own writing – either a practice one you

have done or one from a mock exam - and “highlight & label” the

following writing skills:

o Linked paragraphs

o TIPTOP paragraphs

o Linked intro and conclusion

o Short sentence for effect

o Personal pronoun

o Alliteration

o Rhetorical question

o Complex sentence (with accurate comma)

o All the different connectives you have used.

Commas!

LO: To revise placing commas in sentences correctly.

a) What job do commas do? Create a page explaining how commas should

be used for a pupil in a lower year group.

b) Pick out three sentences from your work/ a practice question/mock

exam where you have made errors with commas. (Place a star in pencil

in the margin.)

c) Copy the first sentence you have just picked out into your book but

make the correction as indicated. Annotate the sentence, explaining

how the punctuation works!

These commas are separating the subordinate clause from the rest of the

sentence.

d) Repeat with the other two sentences you picked out.

e) Try to write an additional paragraph or a response to your letter but

respond to your EBI targets.

f) Swap your work with a friend or revision partner so they can check you

have responded to my advice.

Then, as if it was magic, I felt myself falling.

Techniques!

LO: To develop the range of techniques I can use in my writing.

a) Create a mini-glossary for the most challenging techniques: metaphors, assonance

and consonance. Give definitions and examples if you can at this point.

b) Read the poem “Anthem For Doomed Youth” by Wilfred Owen.

Anthem for Doomed Youth

What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?

Only the monstrous anger of the guns.

Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle

Can patter out their hasty orisons

No mockeries for them from prayers or bells,

Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,—

The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;

And bugles calling for them from sad shires.

What candles may be held to speed them all?

Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes

Shall shine the holy glimmers of good-byes.

The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;

Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,

And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.

c) Identify at least one example of each on the poem. Try to explain the effect it has –

you can annotate this information on the sheet or cut the poem out of this sheet

and glue it down and annotate around that as an alternative to writing out the

quotes if you prefer.

d) Re-read your mock exam writing response. Identify a section which has the fewest

ticks. Re-draft that section, aiming to include examples of metaphor, assonance

and consonance.

e) Swap your work with a revision partner and see if they can identify, highlight, label

and explore the effects of your choices. (WWW/EBI)

Spelling!

LO: To investigate a range of spelling strategies to help

improve my work.

a) Read through your Controlled Assessment, pausing each time I have

identified a word which is incorrectly spelt.

b) Write down the word as you did originally.

c) Look up the correct spelling in the dictionary.

d) For each word explain what you did wrong i.e. missed out a letter/

forgot to double the consonant etc. – is there a pattern forming here?

I forgot to double the

consonant at the end of the

word before I added -ed.

It should say stopped.

e) Write out each word five times, using the look-cover-say-write-check

method.

f) Make these sets of words plurals:

1 2 3 4

Bag Table Light switch Lady

Book sausage Church Baby ruler horse box Monkey

cup plate dish holiday Can you work out the four rules for converting single nouns into

plurals?

g) Choose two or three of the most challenging words and make up a

mnemonic or an acrostic poem to help you remember it

OR

Draw a visual representation of the word so that the letters create a

picture.

stoped

Paragraphing!

LO: To analyse my use of paragraphs and make improvements

in my practice. a) What does TIPTOP mean?

b) What is the purpose of paragraphs?

c) Read through the story about the space ship. Make a note of the

different “titles” each paragraph could have. How do these “titles” link

in with the idea of TIPTOP paragraphs?

d) Have a close look at a piece of writing you have done. This could be from

a mock exam or a practise you have done as part of your revision. Make

a list of the “titles” you could use in your piece of writing.

e) Where could you have used the rules of TIPTOP to refine your

paragraphing? – Indicate where these breaks should go.

f) Cut up your story/work and glue it into your book however, as all

paragraphs need to be linked, leave room to rewrite some sentences to

ensure that your paragraphs are coherently linked.

eg.

blah blah blah linking word blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah linking word blah blah

blah blah

g) Pass your re-written paragraphs, complete with links, to a revision

partner to see if they can spot your recycled words.

Cut up bit of your work

Cut up bit of your work

1) Do we worry too much about the welfare of animals? Write your views [40]

2) A local newspaper is featuring a series of articles called ‘Help!’ Write an account for the newspaper of a time when you, or someone you know, needed help. [40]

3) ‘Children nowadays are encouraged to grow up too fast. The pressures to behave like an adult destroy the enjoyment of being a child’

What do you think? Write the words of a talk to your class giving your views. [40]

4) Write about a celebration you attended which turned out to be more enjoyable than expected.

[40]

5) The trouble is there is no deterrent these days. Write your views [40]

6) Communication is out of control and so teenagers and criminals can get too organised too quickly. Facebook is more trouble than it is worth.

Write a personal diary entry or blog about a time when social networking has caused you, or someone you know, a problem. [40]

7) Write about a time you travelled at great speed. [40]

8) Speed Kills Campaign

Write a letter to your local council asking for better road safety enforcement [40]

in your area.

9) Do we worry enough about a healthy lifestyle? [40]

Write your views.

10) “Does my bum look big in this?” [40]

Write a personal diary entry or blog about a time when you have felt under scrutiny by those

around you.

These are all examples of writing questions

which have appeared on exam papers over the last few

years. Work through this list, identifying ’open’ and

‘closed’ questions, creating fishbone plans and practising

writing introductions/conclusions before working up to

full answers in 50 minutes.

Look at this example response to the exam question. Read through

and find a topic or title for each paragraph and see if you can

highlight the words that have been used to create links between the

paragraphs. Also read through the text and see if you can spot and

annotate a) techniques and b) different kinds of sentences.

1) Write about a time when you have been scared.

[40 marks] The beacon crackled over the „com and shattered the silence on the bridge.

Captain Sandros was frozen at the helm, partly in shock, partly in awe. We had

finally found her: the HMSS Jubilee. One hundred and thirty-seven souls had

been aboard when we lost contact with them from the out-post on Galaxos,

including none other than Duke Ferdinand who had been the royal guest of

Admiral Blackett when the Queen‟s newest battle-cruiser began her maiden tour

of duty. She had been magnificent in orbit and many vessels, both military and

civilian, had gathered to watch her drift away through the heavens to embark

on her mission. It was a different sight which met our eyes now.

People back home on Earth think there is nothing to see out here. They

describe it as a wasteland, a dark void, space; they couldn‟t be more wrong. On

our search and rescue mission, travelling through the Cisa Delta, we have seen

all sorts of space junk, meteors and anomalies floating amongst the stars in the

black but still nothing could have prepared us for this.

Filling our screen, a dark shape listed to starboard with weak light from a

distant sun highlighting the jagged metal fuselage and fragments of debris

spiralling like tiny metallic comets nearby. Some kind of ignited fuel leak,

maybe? A collision? Surely not an attack? Scans confirmed our worst fears: the

weapons array remained intact but life support was inoperational. Search and

Rescue had just become Search and Recover.

The away team waited nervously as our recovery pod docked at the HMSS

Jubilee. The sound of my own air supply rattled through my helm, reminding me

of my own vulnerability. My suit and boots made movement slow and

exaggerated: a parody of movement. What old footage of the first moon landing

did not prepare any cadet for, was the ice and the claustrophobia. One hundred

and thirty-seven souls had withered behind that docking bay door. I prayed for

the strength to face the demands of my mission: recover data from the ship‟s

computer and find out what had happened on board this craft. “In space no-one

can hear you scream.” Doesn‟t stop every fibre of your being demanding you give

in and let out a primal howl once you realise you are making your way on board a

huge metal coffin.

Finally the huge metal bulkheads gave way to the oxy-acetylene torch of our

engineer. We were through. My crew mates headed to engineering to see if

they could get life support back on-line and maybe salvage CO2 scrubbers or

other useful parts for our own ship. Studying the ship‟s schematics, I turned

towards the bridge to recover what data I could from the ship‟s computer.

Hopefully something in the Captain‟s log would give us a story to tell the grieving

at least. After a short time, following corridor after corridor, lights flickered

above me and a crackly voice through my headset confirmed my colleagues‟

success. I released my visor with a hiss and suppressed the urge to heave as

the first lungful of rancid air hit me; the CO2 scrubbers were surely damaged in

the „event‟. With main power now restored, the hatch doors would now open

easily enough.

The approach to the bridge soon became anything but easy. More than once I

was forced to squeeze under fallen corridor supports or climb over broken

furniture and various panic-strewn detritus. I started to notice the blood fairly

soon. It started out as just a few drops near my feet but soon escalated to

splatter, coating the walls from floor to ceiling. Drips that had once frozen and

hung in the air were now viscous and subject to gravity once again; almost

beautiful in a macabre way. The bridge door was the worst. I stopped in my

tracks. This had been no fuel leak. Blood coated the door and nearby walls with

desperate, shaky finger marks scrawled through it. Here and there words were

legible: “out”, “dead”, “save” and “hel. . . “ were all I could read. Help? Hell? My

palms were sweating inside my gloves despite the temperature. The hair on the

back of my neck stood on end. My stomach churned and my legs burned to carry

me far away from this place but my mission had brought me here and I would

not betray my unit. With every ounce of courage that I could summon up I

pushed forward. Reaching for the door emergency override switch, I checked in

with my team and silently braced myself for Hell.

We float in silence now. My new team, my new crew mates, run ragged fingers

through the torn and tattered fragments of my soul. One hundred and thirty-

eight of us are here now, luring more to join our legion of the lost, screaming

silently, watching our own corpses freeze once more in a pantomime of our pain.

The mystery of our deaths is the strength which binds us and increases our

numbers. The mystery, the silence and the black, black, blackness is our fate.

All of this is punctuated only by the hailing beacon crackling away on an open

„com channel.

Typically clauses begin with

the following kinds of

words:

-ing words (like in the example)

-ly words (usually placed in

front of an -ing word)

-ed words (often as a pair of –

ed words to explain the

emotions of the speaker or

character.

Connectives (now you can start

a sentence with because; you

just have to ensure you hitch the

main part of the sentence on the

end rather than leave a clause

hanging alone.)

Question words (who, what,

where and which help to explain

more about the character or

speaker)

It is possible to change the place of the clause. Sometimes it can go at the start, sometimes it

can go at the end and sometimes it can be placed (embedded) inside the sentence. You will get

more marks for varying how your sentences are structured.

Fishbone Planner

Introduction

Conclusion

Rhetorical Devices:

A co

lon

is used

to in

trod

uce a list o

f items o

r ideas. M

ake sure th

at the w

ord

s

befo

re it make a co

mp

lete sente

nce. R

eplace w

ord

s like in

clud

ing

or su

ch a

s.

A s

emi-

colo

n c

an b

e u

sed

inst

ead

of

a co

nn

ecti

ve in

a c

om

po

un

d s

en

ten

ce.

Mak

e su

re t

hat

eit

her

sid

e o

f th

e p

un

ctu

atio

n is

a c

om

ple

te s

ente

nce

.

A complex sentence is made up of a simple sentence and a clause which is separated by a comma. The clause does not

make sense all by itself and usually starts with a –ing, -ly or –ed word and can be placed before, after or within the sentence.

Freddie the Fishbone Planner Helps you to plan your writing tasks.

Do a spider

diagram of

ideas FIRST

TIPTOP

paragraphs

must be

linked!

Refer to

your plan as

you write

your essay

Spend 10

minutes

planning

Remember

to “Hook”

your reader

with an

attention-

grabbing

first

sentence;

try

rhetorical

questions or

anecdotes.