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  • 7/27/2019 BURN OUTS - 01



    Created By

    Alexander Ruggie & Scott Hill

    Screenplay By

    Alexander Ruggie

    Al Ruggie1831 S. Wilton Place310.497.4962

  • 7/27/2019 BURN OUTS - 01


    ACT I


    A huge family - The BOBSONS - have gathered around a keg in

    the center of a dilapidated courtyard.


    Throughout time, life has takenroot wherever and wheneverpossible. In most cases everythingthat is alive does a very good jobof being alive. But every once in awhile; somehow, for whateverreason, it doesnt. And when thathappens, well, this is whathappens. The Bobsons.

    A quick blast of smash cuts through members of the Bobsonfamily doing abnormal, and/or repulsive things. A man chewsoff his toenails. A massive woman farts with every step shetakes to the horror of those around her. A boy eats bugs offthe ground then vomits, then eats the bugs out of the vomit.

    DEE (CONTD)(V.O.)

    But life also has ways ofcorrecting its mistakes.

    At the party a radio crackles to life as an ANNOUNCER cuts

    out the music.

    ANNOUNCERSorry to interrupt your usualprogramming, but weve just gottena report that strange airborneobject is hurtling towards theCrystal Estates area right now.

    A flaming alien craft blasts through the atmosphere, smashesto the ground and takes out the entire Bobson family clan.DEE, an inter-dimensional space being walks out of the debris

    and ashes brushing himself off as though it was all planned.DEE

    Well, Most of its mistakes.Somehow, Bob Bobson managed to slipthrough.

  • 7/27/2019 BURN OUTS - 01



    BOB BOBSON, an early thirty-something, overweight, balding,waste of life, is passed out on the edge of a bouncy ballcage with all the balls replaced by beer cans. A line ofdrool pools onto the floor below.

    CURTIS, a punk style biker and Bobs lifelong companionbursts into the room and jostles at Bob.

    CURTISBob. Bob wake up. Somethingterrible happened.

    Bob is completely out. Curtis moves his head and a wave ofpooled up drool empties from his mouth onto the floor.

    CURTIS (CONTD)Ugh. Nasty. Bob. Bob. Wake up dude

    everyone died in a...in a freakasteroid accident or something atyour family reunion.

    Bob blasts awake and stands up at hearing family reunion.

    BOBOh man. Im late for my familyreunion Curtis. I never should havedrank that green whatever it waslast night.

    Bob tries to get out of the bouncy beer can cage but slips

    and falls back into them.


    BOBI cant believe you let me sleepthrough my family reunion man.

    Bob tries to escape again and slides everywhere.


    Bob. Bob listen to me.Curtis grabs Bob and steadies him.



  • 7/27/2019 BURN OUTS - 01


    CURTISEveryone in your family is dead. Anasteroid or something just hit thetrailer park where your reunion wasat. Theyre all gone.

    BOBWhat are you talking about man?weve all got the reunion today.

    Curtis shakes his head.

    BOB (CONTD)Really?

    Curtis nods.

    BOB (CONTD)All of em?

    CURTISAll of em. Squashed, smashed, orburned. I dont know, whatever anasteroid does I guess.

    BOBYoure telling me my whole familydied in one freak trailer parkasteroid explosion? Thatsimpossible the Bobsons are like aplague of dirty, drunken locusts,nothing could bring us all down.

    CURTISYep. All of em.

    Bob looks around, and shakes his head.

    BOBThats crazy. Wow. (beat) Hey whendid we get a bouncy ball cage?

    CURTISLast night you took it after

    drinking the green stuff.BOB


    Bob tries to exit the bouncy ball cage but falls to the floorand onto his puddle of drool.

    BOB (CONTD)Ugh, nasty.


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    KNOCK at the door.


    A LAWYER stands anxiously at Bobs door. Bob answers, and

    pushes the Lawyer down a few steps to the landing with hisgut as he hounds him. Curtis waits at the door.

    BOBWhat the hell do you want? I paidwhoever it is, or it wasnt me inthe first place. If you think itsmy kid I want to see a blood test.And if this is about anything thathappened in 92 youd better run.

    The Lawyer checks his papers.

    LAWYERNo. This isnt any of that. Are youBob Bobson?

    Bob leans over to Curtis and whispers to him.

    CURTISIf he were Bob Bobson, would you behere to serve him papers?

    The Lawyer rolls his eyes.


    No. Look, I represent the estate ofGoldy Bobson. She died recently ina car explosion and left youeverything. That is, if youre BobBobson.

    BOBGoldy...I remember her. Whateverhappened to Goldy?


    CHIPS and ROSCOE are two neighborhood kids in their lateteens to early twenties. Theyre hiding behind some hedges atthe end of the driveway.

    CHIPSDid you do it?


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    ROSCOEOperation potato tailpipe revengeis...operational?

    CHIPSNice. Now all we have to do is wait

    until Goldy starts her car. Whenthe engine dies, shell have totake it to the shop which will giveus plenty of time to sneak into herhouse and get back the concerttickets she stole from us.

    Just then Goldy comes out of her house. Pan from Chips andRoscoe laughing as they await Goldys misfortune, over toGoldy as she gets into the car. Continue panning over to amafia-like henchman with a remote trigger in his hand. Hepresses the button. BOOM as the car explodes. The henchmanleaves. Pan back over to a firey wreck. Continue panning over

    to Chips and Roscoe in shock, awe and fear that they justkilled Goldy.

    CHIPS (CONTD)What did you do man?

    Roscoe is a bit of a pyromaniac and his face is lit up withexcitement.

    ROSCOEDude that was awesome.


    What? Dude, did we just kill Goldy?

    Roscoe shifts to serious fear.

    ROSCOEOh. I dont know. Maybe? All I didwas put a potato in the tailpipeman. It works in the movies.

    CHIPSHoly crap we killed Goldy.

    They look at each other in fear and confusion. They both takeoff running in opposite directions. Then Roscoe backtracksand runs after Chips.


    The Lawyer looks perplexed, but shakes it off.


  • 7/27/2019 BURN OUTS - 01


    LAWYERHello? Anyone home? Guy, are youwith me?

    Bob returns to reality.

    BOBRight Goldy. So like did she die inthe asteroid too or something?

    LAWYERWhat? No. Listen, I dont knowanything about an asteroid, orwhatever...weirdo. I do know thatGoldy Bobson is dead. Really reallydead. Burned to a crisp actually.And if youre Bob Bobson, then sheleft you everything. Do you wantit? Please can you just sign this

    and take it so I can go? I feellike Im going to be infected withsomething just breathing the airhere.

    The Lawyer is holding out the papers on a clipboard with onehand and the keys to the new house in the other. Bob signsand grabs the keys.


    A bus pulls away leaving Bob and Curtis looking at a

    neighborhood filled with rich people and their huge houses.

    Bob and Curtis presence immediately causes a stir as peopledrop what theyre doing and notice the human stains that justarrived.

    Bob and Curtis see everyone staring at them, but dont knowwhy. They walk up to Goldys old house past a burnt out wreckof a car on her driveway.


    Bob keys open the door and walks through into the foyer.

    BOBHo.Ly.Crap, would you look at thisplace Curtis!

    CURTISIm lookin. Im seein. Im stillnot believin.


  • 7/27/2019 BURN OUTS - 01


    Bob walks back to the door, and starts to shut it. As soon ashe does LUCKY, A 50s balding, graying, grumpy, drunk pusheshimself inside.

    LUCKYHey. Who the hell are you two

    idiots. Get the hell out of Goldyshouse before I call the cops.

    Bob and Curtis swivel around to see a belligerent Luckyholding himself up by the door handle, with a bottle of boozein the other hand.

    BOBWho the hell are you?

    LUCKYNo. Who the hell are you twoidiots?

    BOBIm Bob Bobson, and this is Curtis.

    Bob takes the bottle from Lucky forcefully and pulls a swig.

    BOB (CONTD)Arent you people supposed to berich. This stuff isnt even good.Now take it and get the hell out ofmy house old man.


    This isnt your house. ItsGoldys.

    Bob takes the keys out of his pocket and dangles them in theair.

    BOBUse to be. Now its mine. Bye.

    Bob pushes Lucky out the door and locks it behind him.


    Who the hell was that guy?BOB

    I dont know man. Some pissed off,drunken, rich, ass goblin of somesort. I wonder if all these peopleare like him?


  • 7/27/2019 BURN OUTS - 01


    Immediately there is a knock on it. Bob opens the door toreveal DEE. Dee is short and nerdy, a totally unassumingalien masquerading as a human.

    DEEHey there. Im Dee. I see you met


    Lucky is walking away from the house back to his.

    BOBUh yeah. Hi. Im Bob. This isCurtis. So whats up with that guy?

    DEEOh Lucky? Well, you know on a candyassembly line when every once in awhile an odd, half mixed, unbaked,worthless clump of crap makes it

    through unchecked? Thats Lucky.

    Everyone shares a laugh.

    DEE (CONTD)Listen, I know you guys just gothere but I was hoping to get afavor from you.

    BOBWhats that?


    Well, I knew you Goldy really welland she had told me before shepassed that I could borrow her carthis weekend for a trip Im taking


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